After the Fall
by MyImmortal329
Summary: Buffy returns from the dead, and she feels an immediate closeness to an unlikely vampire, Spike. Will her friends be able to handle this growing closeness between the two? Will Buffy even be the same woman she was before her death?
1. Hold Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Some of the dialogue in the first scene is from "Afterlife."**

**After the Fall**

**By, Ashley J.**

**Chapter 1: Hold Me**

She flinched at the stern but worried tone of his voice. Dawn stood next to her, in sight of the frenzied vampire, while she leaned against the wall, eyes closed tight, heart pounding, head spinning, hands throbbing in pain. She swallowed hard, her dry throat becoming drier by the moment.

Dawn began her descent down the stairs.

"You. I could kill you," he seethed, his voice shaky but carrying more of a fatherly tone than that of a soulless vampire.

"Spike," she said evenly, still heading down the stairs, body stiff, eyes uncertain but ready for the big reveal.

"I mean it. I could rip your head of one handed and drink from your brain stem," he added. Buffy could hear the floorboards creaking as he shifted from side to side, not wanting to stand still for too long. He sounded as if he'd been running around over half of Sunnydale in pursuit of the burden Buffy had left him with.

Dawn was level with him now, looking into his eyes. Hers were full of uncertain answers, his were full of angered questions. There was a standstill. Nobody spoke, and Buffy clutched her chest for a minute, trying to make sense of it all. Her heart was beating. She was breathing. But just hours ago, she'd been somewhere else, somewhere better. But she couldn't remember it, and it made her crazy to know that there was something better than this life, and whatever it was, wherever she'd been for…how long…was already lost to her. But the residual feelings left over told her it was quiet, easier.

When neither spoke again, she took a deep breath that made her lungs ache. She began the descent, catching her first glimpse of him, hair a bit messy, no doubt from the evening he'd had. If it was anything in comparison to her own evening, he looked like he'd gotten off easy.

"Spike, look," Dawn coaxed, as she heard her sister's footsteps on the stairs. Buffy shivered, as Spike looked at her with first, indifference, which quickly turned to contempt, which slowly began to fade into something unrecognizable. His gaze burned her until it turned back to Dawn. "Yeah? I've seen the bloody Bot before. Didn't think she'd patch up so…" His eyes flickered back up to Buffy, who moved as stiffly as her sister just had. And when he finally looked into her eyes, he saw.

He was silent now, and Dawn moved aside a little. Buffy found herself holding her breath, face expressionless, as she stared into his eyes. His features softened, and he realized that this wasn't a dream. This wasn't some robot he'd originally created for his entertainment or pleasure. This wasn't even the revamped Bot that Willow had programmed to fight as a Slayer. No. This was the real, true Slayer. He could smell her. Blood. Human blood. Slayer blood.

"She's kind of, um…she's been through a lot with the…death." Buffy glanced away from Spike. Down. At her sister. Dawn turned to look at Buffy, and she avoided her gaze. "But I think she's ok." Looking down, Buffy realized she'd forgotten the rest of her buttons and quickly began working at them. It was then that he noticed the gashes on her knuckles, but he couldn't speak. He could only stare, his eyes taking on a bewildered expression before changing back and forth between happiness and disbelief. "Spike? Are you ok?" Another pause.

"I'm…" he started, each moment that passed with her in front of him making it feel even more real. But how? Without taking his eyes off of the slayer, he spoke again. "What did you do?"

"Me?" Dawn asked, her voice high, surprised, happy, unwilling to believe that this was anything but a good dream. "Nothing!" She shook her head. Buffy, wanting answers herself but not really feeling up to asking the questions, looked back up at Spike, seeing the same man she'd seen just before they'd gone off to fight Glory. He wasn't the same Spike he'd once been, and she could tell that, however much time had passed, he was still the man who'd taken care of her sister and helped save the world.

Her hands were clasped on her shirt now, just over the top button, and he finally found the words.

"Her hands…" He was still speaking to Dawn. Buffy moved her hands behind her so he couldn't see.

"Um…" Dawn squeaked out, "I…I was gonna fix them. I don't know how they got like that." He could see the slayer struggling, as if part of her was trying to run away from the conversation. He knew. He'd been there once. He remembered the pain of gasping for breath when there was none, digging for air, clawing, ripping, bleeding.

"I do," he breathed, looking down at her shadowed hands. "Clawed her way out of her coffin, that's how." He looked up again. "Isn't that right?" Buffy's head, still spinning, managed to let her know that he was in fact speaking to her, and she hesitated.

"Yeah," she finally whispered, the words stinging her throat. "That's what I had to do."

"I've done it myself," he said with a slow nod, not wanting to push her into any conversation she wasn't ready for. He knew what it was like to wake from the dead, not really understanding that it had actually happened. Except she wasn't a demon. She was Buffy. She had her soul all intact. That, he could see.

He realized by the strange look coming over Dawn's face and the awkward avoiding grimace on Buffy's face that he had been staring for far too long. He shook his head.

"Um…we'll take care of you. Come on." He reached out for her, and to both of their surprises, she didn't slink away from his reach. He, however, hesitated when he grazed her shoulder, and he turned to give orders to a confused Dawn. "Get some stuff. Uh, mercurochrome, bandages."

"Okay," Dawn said softly, as she watched her sister and protector head into the living room before heading off to get what Spike had asked her to get.

Buffy sat down on the sofa, intensely quiet, and Spike sat across from her on the coffee table. He was close enough that their knees touched, and when he instinctually took her bloodied hands in his, she didn't pull away. She looked down at their joined hands, and he did too, for a moment, but when he looked up, she was looking at him. He couldn't read her emotions, but he knew she was in pain. Maybe not complete physical pain, but there wasn't anything there in her eyes that screamed happiness for being back here.

After a few moments, Buffy found the words to speak. Seeing the worry in his eyes made her feel comforted somehow. But whatever question she had, she knew he wasn't going to lie to her. What was the point? He had no reason to soften the blow. He had to reason to make her feel better about any of this. She knew Dawn would avoid talking about whatever had happened, and she knew her friends…well, they had something to do with it, she knew, but they would try to explain themselves first, and she didn't want those kinds of answers.

"How long was I gone?" His hands tightened on hers, but he relaxed, not wanting her to hurt any more than she already was. Truth time.

"Hundred and forty-seven days yesterday, uh, a hundred and forty-eight today." He smiled weakly. He couldn't read her expression. It was lifeless. "Except today doesn't count, does it?" He closed his eyes for a moment, looking back down at their joined hands. Her gaze followed his, and he could feel her trembling. She was scared. Or nervous. Or overwhelmed. Or something. Whatever it was, it was a human emotion, one he had found himself feeling quite often when he thought of her. He looked back up at her. "How long was it for you…where you were?" Her gaze slowly lifted to his eyes again.

"Longer." Spike nodded knowingly, and he opened his mouth to speak again, but Dawn came back in.

"Got the stuff." She placed it next to Spike on the coffee table, and he nodded.

"That's Nibblet," he said quietly.

"Anything else?"

"Put on the kettle," he suggested.

"I'm not thirsty," Buffy managed, as she examined her bleeding hands.

"That's alright, but I need some tea to calm my nerves, luv," he breathed.

"Sure," Dawn said, realizing that she really wasn't part of the conversation. She headed back to the kitchen. Spike gently held one of her hands at a time as he doctored them up, covering her scratches in gauze and bandages. She sat there without speaking, only staring at him as he worked. He could feel her eyes on his face, and once in a while, he would look up to meet her gaze, and she would look down, look anywhere but at him, and he wondered what she was thinking about.

"There," he said warmly, placing her hands down on her lap. "All done."

"Thanks," she said quietly. "You didn't have to do that." The tea kettle screamed from the kitchen, and Dawn raced about trying to find the tea bags. Soon, she came out carrying a tray with three cups.

"I…I know you said you weren't thirsty, but I…I thought something hot to drink might make you feel better."

"Thanks," Buffy muttered. Spike took her cup and set it aside to cool along with his own, while Dawn said down next to her sister, blowing over her own steaming cup before taking a small sip. Spike glanced at Dawn, wondering if she truly was out of the loop about everything that had happened. But he judged by her cautious gazes at her sister that she really had no idea. It had to be the rest of the lot. The witch. Of course. Who else? Something inside him boiled up angrily, and he reached for his tea, his hands shaking a bit. Buffy eyed him, wondering if he was okay. She was the one that was being taken care of, but apparently, somebody needed to take care of him too.

"Where are they?" Dawn asked, breaking the silence. "They should be here."

"It's ok, Dawn," Buffy said slowly. "It's late. You…you should go to bed." Dawn, a little taken aback, gawked at her sister.

"I'm not going to sleep. Not after…look, I want to talk, and…"

"We can talk in the morning. It's…it's late."

"Right," Dawn said quietly. "I'll help you up to…"

"I wanna sit up for a little longer. I was asleep for…"

"Oh," Dawn said quietly. "OK." She drank down the rest of her tea. "Want your tea now?" Buffy nodded, and Spike made a move to hand her her cup. She nursed it, each warm sip easing her raw throat. She closed her eyes, letting the steam caress her face, warming her. As cold as she'd been, she wondered if that was what Spike felt like every second of the day. "Spike? Are you…"

"I'll sleep on the couch one more night, Bit," he assured her. "Go on. Get some sleep. I'll make sure your big sis gets her rest."

"Well," he said uncertainly, chewing her lower lip. "Ok." She slowly wrapped her arms around her sister. Buffy flinched at first, but slowly drew her arm around her sister. "I love you, Buffy. Don't ever leave me like that again."

"Love you too, Dawnie." She closed her eyes tightly, and after a few moments, she let her sister go. Dawn headed up the stairs, and Spike drank down his tea, standing up quickly and putting the dishes on the tray. Buffy took the last sip of her tea and handed the cup to him. He hurried off to the kitchen, and she couldn't help but think it funny that he was cleaning up. He was nervous too. She could see it in his edginess. Was she making him this way?

She waited in the living room, hearing the clanging of tea cups as he put them in the sink. She sat, feeling too tired to move. She just stared. Despite the stillness of the house, uneasiness flooded over her, as if everything around her was moving quickly, and she was moving in slow motion. Wherever she'd been, this uneasiness hadn't existed.

"Buffy?" Buffy looked up at the sound of Spike's voice, seeing him standing in front of the couch, a concerned look creasing his face again.

"Huh?"

"I was calling your name. Are you…"

"I'm fine," she said quickly, standing up, the fastest move she'd made in front of him this evening. "You don't have to stay." Her voice sounded flat, defeated. He knew she didn't mean it. "I'm sure you have other things to do."

"Nothing important," he muttered, sitting down across from her again. He wanted to reach for her hands, but he wasn't sure she'd let him now. She slowly sat down on the couch again. Neither spoke for a few minutes, and Spike finally cleared his throat.

"You should try to get some sleep."

"I've been asleep for months," she breathed. "I'm not tired."

"Yeah, but you look like you could drop at any minute."

"Thanks."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah."

"Slayer, you've had a long night. I think…"

"Why am I here?"

"What?" She just stared at him. "You know as well as I do, pet. Don't know a bloody thing." He was shaking a little again. "I'm guessing your friends had something to do with it. Come to think of it, they've been acting a bit dodgy these past few days. But I've been on Dawn patrol for the past few months so…"

"How was she?"

"Your little sis? She was a wreck. Can't blame her. Lost her mum and her sister in the same year. But Tara and Willow moved in."

"Yeah, she said that."

"I'm surprised they're not here."

"They're probably still out looking for me," Buffy confessed. "I took off. I…"

"I'll wait up for them to come home, let them know you're safe." Buffy nodded, shivering. "Are you cold?"

"No," she whispered. "I just…I don't know." She stood up, and he stood too, stepping out of her way. "I'm going to bed."

"I thought…"

"You're right. It's been a long night."

"Right," Spike said quietly. "I'll be here, Slayer. If you need anything. I mean that." She looked into his eyes, and for the first time, he felt as if she truly believed him.

"I know," she whispered. "Thanks. Um, for taking care of Dawnie and everything." He only stared after her, watching her make her way up the stairs. He let out a slow breath, and he sat down on the couch, feeling the warmth she'd left behind. He closed his eyes, trying to still his busy mind from thinking about what all had happened.

He hadn't had much time to calm down before the front door burst open, and in walked Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya.

"Buffy?" Willow asked. Spike stood quickly, anger rising in him again.

"She's upstairs." They all made for the stairs. "She's sleeping." He knew that wasn't true. He could hear her up there tossing and turning, but they didn't have any business seeing her tonight. Not after what she'd just gone through because of them.

"Spike," Xander said quickly, stepping out in front of the group, "you don't have to stay…"

"Neither do you," he interrupted. "What'd you do? Huh?" He looked angrily back and forth between the guilty but worried eyes. "What'd you do to her?"

"A spell," Willow finally explained.

"You used magicks."

"Yeah, but, it worked, and…"

"And it just as easily might not have," Spike spat. "She could have…she could have come back wrong. Who's to say she hasn't, either?"

"Spike," Tara started.

"I worked beside you. All summer. And you didn't have the decency to let me in on your plan to bring back the woman that…"

"You're not going to start your little crush up again now that she's back, are you?" Xander wondered. Before he had the chance to say another word, Spike had him by the collar and shoved up against the wall.

"Didn't even tell her little sister."

"We didn't want to get her hopes up," Tara spoke evenly.

"Because there was the chance it something would've gone wrong," Spike growled. He glared at Willow. "And you knew that if I knew, and if something did go wrong, I wouldn't let you destroy what did come back, even if it wasn't all her." He was trembling again, and Tara placed a hand on his shoulder, as Xander struggled and he tightened his grip.

"Spike," she spoke, her voice like an angel's whisper. "We're sorry we didn't tell you. We just…we didn't." Spike let Xander go after a few seconds, and he moved toward Anya.

"Xander, maybe it'd be better if you two came back tomorrow," Willow advised.

"Right," Xander said quietly, eyeing Spike angrily. "First thing." The two left, and Spike stood in silence with the two witches.

Willow looked toward the stairs, and she glanced at Tara.

"Spike," Willow said quietly, "you're right. We didn't tell you, because we knew that something might go wrong."

"And you risked destroying her just to have her back?"

"Having her back…having any part of her back…isn't that better than not having her at all?" Spike eyed the witch. This was true. But if she'd come back different…would it be worth it? Would it be worth it if she wasn't the same slayer he'd fallen in love with?

"I know you care about her, and…"

"You don't know anything," Spike said, shaking his head. "You think you know everything your pretty little books tell you, but you don't know everything. You don't know me. You don't know how I feel." Tara took Willow's hand.

"Come on, sweetie. Let's get some sleep. It's been a long night, for all of us. Maybe in the morning we'll all be a little more rested." Willow nodded uncertainly and turned to gaze at Spike.

"She's back. Let's just be happy about that, okay?" Spike said nothing, only giving her a faint nod. Willow shivered at the thought of something going wrong. What if…what if she wasn't Buffy anymore? Only time would tell. She and Tara headed up to bed, and Spike sprawled out on the couch, eyes focused on the ceiling, completely unable to sleep.

He could still hear the tossing and turning, and he knew she wasn't sleeping, but still, he was surprised when her voice whispered to him from the hall.

"Spike?" He shot up on the couch, sitting to stare at her. She was still wearing the same clothes as she'd been wearing when he'd first set eyes on her this evening.

"Buffy?" His tone was soft, concerned. She didn't sense any anger. Any hostility. It was as if he were a normal man.

"I can't…I'm not…I can't sleep," she uttered. She slowly moved across the room.

"I don't know how much company I'll be, but I can give it a go," he offered. She sat down on the couch next to him, eyeing him as she had earlier, only there was a hint of fear there. "We can talk about…about where you were?"

"I don't wanna talk," she managed to croak out, her voice sounded reserved, raw. She was close to breaking down, and he didn't want to be the one to break her.

"Alright," he said slowly, shifting nervously on the couch. "If there's anything I can…"

"Would you hold me?" she asked, before she could stop herself. Spike swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded slowly. He pulled his arm around her, and she shivered at the instant cool touch. He pulled the throw off of the back of the couch and draped it over her. Her head leaned on his shoulder, and he pulled her up close. She sat next to him, her legs tucked under herself, and she breathed evenly, taking in his scent, closing her eyes, relaxing as her hand rested on his still chest.

"I've got you, luv. You can rest now," he murmured, closing his eyes and feeling sleep wash over him, as it took her under too.

* * *

_Please let me know what you think! Should I continue or leave it as is?_


	2. Afterlife

Chapter 2: Afterlife

When Buffy opened her eyes in the morning, it was barely dawn. She immediately felt the cool presence of Spike against her, and when she turned her head, she realized that somehow, they'd shifted positions in the night, and now she was practically lying on top of him, and his arm was still wrapped securely around her waist.

She felt rested, but why wouldn't she? She'd already had quite a long sleep. Or death. She shuddered to think about that, so she slowly slipped out of his embrace and stood up. She realized the front curtains were still open, and the sun would be up soon. So, she pulled them silently, not wanting to burn the man who'd taken care of her sister and who had taken care of her last night into a pile of ashes. She stood there, watching him sleep. For an evil vampire, he certainly looked at peace. There was even a faint smile on his lips. No. She was imagining that, right? She shook her head. An evil vampire wouldn't hold her all through the night. Not without an ulterior motive. She was still waiting for that one. Somehow, that didn't add up either.

She heard footsteps upstairs, and she decided she wasn't ready to face the rest of the group just yet, so she headed silently up to her room, grabbed a fresh pair of clothes, and locked herself in the bathroom.

She turned the water on hot and threw off her still clean clothes. Standing before the mirror she looked at naked body, examining the damage. No scars. No bruises. No hideous marks from the fall off of the tower. She looked as if she'd never taken that fall. More than that, she looked like she hadn't been rotting in the ground for all those months. Not bad for a corpse, she thought.

The water stung her skin and her sore hands, but soon, the sensation was pleasant, and she lathered her body down, rinsed off, washed her hair, and then stood in the steady stream, relishing the warm feeling. That was substantial. That was real. The heat surrounded her, and she didn't feel completely numb. Everything was still hazy, and getting a grasp on reality wasn't as easy as it used to be.

_Maybe this is heaven. Maybe where I was before was an in-between place. Maybe heaven is my very own bathroom. A nice, hot shower. A very protective vampire sleeping on my couch downstairs. _She shook her head. Whoa.

She shut off the water, toweled off, and finished getting cleaned up and dressed. It was going to be a long day of unanswerable questions, and as much as she would rather sneak out and get away from everyone for a few hours, she knew that the sooner she saw them, the sooner she'd be able to put everything behind her.

***

Spike sat in the kitchen staring at a very quiet Willow and Tara. They snuck glances at each other and then looked at Spike once in a while, and while Tara had made a rather scrumptious breakfast, neither one of them had been able to eat a single bite.

The clomping of Dawn's ridiculously clunky shoes echoed down the stairs and the hall, before she finally arrived in the kitchen. She sensed the thick tension immediately, as if it were physically present.

"Morning, Dawnie," Willow perked up. "Hungry?"

"Not really," she said quietly, sitting down and poking at her own plate, not taking a bite. "I heard Buffy in the bathroom. I think she'll be down in a few minutes."

"If she doesn't sneak out the front. Wouldn't be surprised," Spike muttered.

"Why would she avoid us?" Willow asked. "I mean…she's alive. I think…I think I'd be happy about that, wouldn't you?"

"Wouldn't know. Been dead too long to really miss living." Dawn looked at her friends.

"What'd you do?" she finally asked. "How'd you bring her back?"

"It was a spell, Dawnie," Tara said softly. Dawn nodded, before her eyes registered the word and a panicked grimace spread over her face.

"Like…like I tried when Mom died?"

"No! No, nothing like that," Willow assured her. "She's back. She's not wrong. You…you should know that. You spent more time with her, and…"

"No. She's not wrong," Dawn immediately spoke up. "She's fine. Just a little shaken up. I mean, you would be too if you were coming back from Hell, right?"

"You're sure that's where she was?" Spike wondered. All eyes turned on him.

"What do you mean? Of course that's where she was," Willow said matter-of-factly. "Or some kind of Hell dimension."

"So that's what you assume? Your good friend saves the world and gets sent to Hell?"

"Well, given the circumstances," Tara said quietly, sounding very much like Giles, "it's likely."

"Why don't we just ask her?" Dawn suggested.

"She doesn't want to talk about it," Spike pointed out.

"How would you know what she wants?" Spike turned to see Xander standing in the doorway, Anya-less. Spike glared at the intruder, but he said nothing. "Why don't you go out for a smoke, fang boy? There's a lovely sunrise, and…oh, that's right. You're a vampire. As in mortal enemy of the Slayer. Don't you have a crypt to keep?"

"Xander," Willow warned. "Don't start. Buffy'll be down any minute." Xander withdrew his annoyed expression, but muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, and I'm sure she'll be real happy to see him." Spike thought good and hard about telling him how she came to him in the middle of the night, but he fought against it, and finally settled on not disclosing that lovely little morsel, because as much as he'd like to see Xander's face turn all sorts of shades of green with jealousy, he figured Buffy didn't exactly want the gang to know she'd slept in the arms of a vampire all night, especially when he wasn't exactly her favorite person.

Buffy had heard part of the conversation as she lingered out in the hallway, but she decided to pretend as if she'd heard nothing. She just wanted to get through this. So, she took a deep breath, tensed and relaxed her muscles and then went walking into the kitchen, where five surprised sets of eyes looked up at her at once.

"Morning," she said as cheerfully as possible.

"Uh…morning, Buffy. Want some breakfast?" Despite the fact that she didn't feel like eating at all, she knew it'd be better if she did eat something.

"Sure. That looks good." Willow slid her plate over to Buffy and with a flick of her finger, steam rose up from the plate. "Didn't touch it…good as new."

"Thanks," Buffy said quietly, sitting down between Spike and Dawn. Her stomach turned, but she forced down a few bites with everyone watching expectantly. Well, everyone except Spike, who had his hands folded on the table. He was staring off toward the window, his features set and tense.

"Are you feeling better this morning?" Tara asked cheerfully.

"Uh, yeah. I think so. Just a little…fuzzy."

"Did you sleep alright?" Dawn asked. Buffy made a side glance at Spike before nodding.

"Yeah." Her answer was hesitant, but Spike felt a twinge somewhere deep inside, and he figured that if his heart was beating, it would have stopped just then. She looked up at the clock and then at her sister, and out of nowhere, she said, "Dawnie, shouldn't you be at school?"

"It's Sunday," Dawn said slowly.

"Oh. Right," Buffy said, shaking her head.

"It's ok. You didn't know, Buff," Xander said quietly. Buffy pushed her plate aside and looked at her friends. She glanced at Spike again, but he seemed frozen, fixated on whatever it was he was staring at.

"I guess you have some questions," she finally spoke.

"Maybe a couple…hundred," Willow said sheepishly. "You don't have to answer anything you're not ready for though."

"I'll try my best. It's all still really…mixed up, you know?"

"Let's go in the living room," Dawn suggested. "I like eggs, but the smell makes me nauseous after a while." She started out of the room, and everyone else followed. Except for Spike.

"Are you coming?" Tara asked over her shoulder.

"I can hear just fine from here." Tara crinkled her brows in confusion, wondering why the usually outspoken vampire was suddenly quiet and reserved. That definitely wasn't like him.

Still, once Tara was gone, Spike let out a sigh and decided to join the group anyway. The last thing he wanted was to make the Slayer uncomfortable, especially since her good friends were already hounding her with questions of her afterlife.

When Spike reached the living room, he stayed back leaning against the wall. Buffy looked up from her spot on the couch, and their eyes met. She felt a chill up her spine and she shook off the feeling. It was time to talk, and she was going to say as much as she could. Part of her wanted to tell everyone a lie. Tell them she'd been in Hell. Tell them she'd been someplace that she'd rather not be, but when she looked up at Spike and even at Dawn, who waited with hopeful eyes, she knew that she had to tell them, even if it hurt.

"What do you wanna know?" Buffy asked, feeling as if this was an inquisition. All that was missing was a hot light.

"Well, for starters," Xander said quietly…"what was it like?"

"Being dead?" Buffy asked. "I…I don't know. I can't remember feeling dead. I just remember…being still. I was surrounded by this…I don't know. I don't wanna say a light. It was like…peace." Everyone was silent, all waiting to hear more. Dawn's eyes welled. "Wherever it was, it wasn't…it wasn't bad." Buffy glanced at Willow, whose face fell.

"Buffy," she said quietly, "we…I pulled you out of Heaven, didn't I?"

"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "Will, you…you didn't know." She couldn't help but feel the sharp bite of reality when she saw her friends faces all fill with guilt. "None of you did."

"We thought because of Glory and everything, because of the mystical energy…we thought you went to a hell dimension or something," Tara said quietly. "If we'd have known, maybe…"

"You wouldn't have brought me back," Buffy guessed. Everyone was silent again, except for Dawn.

"No! You…no! It doesn't matter where you went. You died because of me, and…and that's not right."

"Dawnie, it's ok," Buffy started.

"No it's not! You jumped off the tower, and you died, and you went someplace good, and I don't care. I'd rather have you here than anywhere else." Despite the selfish statement, the rest of Buffy's friends couldn't help but agree. Spike eyed the slayer from across the room, watching her discomfort rise.

"That's not for you to decide, Nibblet," he spoke up.

"It never was," Dawn said, a bit angrily. "I couldn't stop you. And I didn't know anything about what Willow was gonna do. Nobody said anything to me, and I'm the one who lost a sister!"

"Dawn," Buffy said quickly, placing her hand on her sister's shoulder, suddenly feeling those natural maternal feelings thawing out from the numbness that was still frozen inside of her, "I did what I had to do, alright? I'd have rather died that let you die."

"Buff, how do you feel now?" Xander asked.

"About?"

"About being here. If we took you out of Heaven…" Buffy looked around at all of her friends, who looked as if they'd all committed a horrible crime and were now feeling the pain of the consequences. What was she supposed to tell them? Heaven was a better place than where she was now? She wished she were still there. She wished they hadn't brought her back? It wasn't all true, but it wasn't all false either. She was stuck somewhere in between wanting to stay in both worlds, and she knew she couldn't do that. But the shock of being ripped out of such peace and waking in her own coffin, only to have to claw herself out was not exactly the kind of welcome she'd wanted for a return to earth. Her friends had thought they were doing what was best. They'd wanted her back for their own reasons and for the good of the world, and while she was grateful for their determination to have their friend back, she couldn't feel grateful about the way she'd come back. How could she make this worse for them now? There wasn't any need.

"I'm grateful," she finally breathed. "Thank you for bringing me back. I know…I know that where I was was a good place, but it doesn't mean I won't be there again someday, right?" She saw Tara's face soften into a smile.

"Of course not. Just because you were pulled out doesn't mean you can't return," she offered. "But hopefully…oh, about eighty years from now."

"Right," Buffy said with a weak smile. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Thank you. For what you did. You brought me back, and I'm grateful…because I know I'm not done here." The words sounded convincing enough, and though they were full of only half truths for the moment, it didn't mean those wouldn't be come full truths one day, did it?

"We're just glad to have you back, Buff," Xander said with a slight grin, reaching over to touch her shoulder. "It was a mess without you. We tried to make it work, but the Buffybot just didn't have what it takes to be a Slayer. She held her own, but…"

"Now she's a pile of scrap metal," Dawn finished. Buffy looked around at her friends, who all seemed to be feeling much better. She was glad about that, but when she looked up at Spike, the look he was giving her made her face hot, and she realized he could see right through her. He knew she was hiding something. _God, why does he do that? _

"I called Giles last night," Willow said with a smile. "He cleaned his glasses about four times during out three minute phone conversation."

"I'll bet," Buffy nodded. Xander looked at his watch.

"I'm supposed to be at work for overtime hours…an hour ago. But I can just not go in, Buff."

"No, go to work."

"You're sure? I can stick around." He glanced up at Spike, who just smirked.

"Go on," Buffy said with a nod. "I'll be fine. Nobody needs to stick around on my account. I'm fine."

"We're not going anywhere," Willow said sternly. "If you need anything…"

"Wil, I'm sure there's stuff at the Magic Box that you need to research or something. I'm not gonna be up for much today anyway. I'll probably just…you know, catch up on all the TV I missed while I was…"

"Right," Tara said quietly. "You're sure you don't need anything?"

"I'm fine," Buffy said again with a nod.

"We should do something to celebrate," Willow pondered. "How about The Bronze tonight, for old time's sakes?"

"I'm not really in a Bronze-y mood right now, Wil," Buffy said with a little shrug. "Maybe soon."

"Oh." Willow's face fell. "Alright. Dawnie, you staying?"

"Yep," Dawn said with a nod.

"Dawn, I'm sure you have homework," Buffy pointed out.

"Buffy…"

"Go do your homework. We have plenty of time to catch up."

"But…"

"Go on. The faster you finish, the faster we can talk, ok?" Dawn rolled her eyes but hurried up the stairs anyway. Everyone else filed out the door, except for Spike, who remained at his post on the wall.

"They're all blind, aren't they?" He sat down in the chair across from the couch.

"What?" Buffy asked, her voice catching in her throat.

"All they were looking for was for a couple words from you telling them you're glad to be back. They just didn't want to feel guilty."

"Spike, not now."

"You're not happy to be back, are you?"

"It's…" He half expected her to throw something at his head and tell him to get out, but he watched her shoulders slump. "It's not that simple." He cocked his head to the side.

"It's not, is it?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, Spike."

"Yes you do."

"_No_, I don't," she insisted. Spike shook his head, standing up, moving to sit on the coffee table again, so they were face to face.

"You were happy. You were at peace."

"I don't remember," she mumbled.

"You remember feeling safe. Feeling…what…what did you feel?" His blue eyes searched her green ones until she finally buckled under his questions.

"I was finished," she breathed. "Finished with life. Finished with suffering. And I felt like even…even though I left my friends and Dawn behind, everything was gonna be ok."

"And then you came back."

"It was…it was like falling all over again. Everything went black," she recalled. "And then I opened my eyes, and I couldn't see. I was surrounded by walls, and my lungs burned." He could see her trembling now, and the tears were beginning to well in her eyes. "I just kept kicking and clawing, and I didn't know where I was. It was so dark. But I felt something cold, and I realized I was bleeding, but I kept fighting, and then…then I was standing in front of my headstone, and it was gone. I didn't remember where I'd been for a few minutes. Just that I'd had to claw myself out. I thought for a second…"

"That you were like me?" he offered. She looked away and nodded.

"Yeah."

"But then the memories came back, and everything was…it was moving so fast. So harsh. Blurry. Bright."

"And you wanted to go back." Buffy was silent. "You can say it, pet. I won't tell."

"For a minute. But…my friends…Dawn. They're here. They need me, and I…"

"What?"

"I want to want to be here, but it feels like I'm starting all over. Like I'm being sent back to serve time after being released from prison. But that'll change. It will. I just have to give it time, right?"

"Maybe," Spike shrugged. "Or maybe you're just not up for all the 'do-gooding' this time around."

"Sure I am," Buffy said with a confident nod. "I just don't feel like it right now."

"What do you feel like doing?" Buffy looked away.

"I don't know. I just…I need time to adjust." Maybe if she said it enough, it would come true. The tears were coming back. "Am I horrible? For feeling like this, when my friends and Dawnie are so happy?"

"You're asking the wrong person about that, remember?" Buffy said nothing.

"Right." The silence filled the air for longer than a minute, and Spike sighed.

"I can go."

"You _can_ go?" Buffy asked. "What's that about?"

"What do you mean?"

"A few months ago, you'd have either left without a word or stayed just to make a point," Buffy said curiously, eyeing him. "What happened?"

"What happened? What happened is that I became a foster dad to your little sis," he said with a shrug. "You know, teenagers are a lot more difficult than they were when I was her age." He nodded toward the stairs. "I had to learn how to compromise with her." He grimaced. "But the witches were here, so they took over some of the responsibility, thank God. Don't know what I would've done if she'd sent me to the store for some of her 'girly' things." He shuddered, and Buffy couldn't help but smile a little.

"Thanks. For looking after her."

"I promised you that I'd take care of her." Buffy nodded, remembering.

"Dawn's been through a lot. I'm glad she had people to take care of her…to make sure she was alright."

"It was rough for a while, but we made it work."

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"And you will too. Like you said, give it time, right?" He watched her half-smile again and nod. He stood again, clearing his throat. "I should go."

"You don't have to," she blurted out quickly, looking up at him, her cheeks pinking up a bit.

"What?"

"Uh," she stammered, clearing her throat. "Well, you took care of Dawnie when she needed you. The least I can do is let you stay until dark."

"You sure?" He asked, eyeing her awkwardly, wondering if he was pushing it. But she didn't even move to make a snide remark.

"Sure," she nodded. "Why not?"

* * *

Thanks for the wonderful feedback and support on Chapter 1! Please let me know what you think!


	3. Rough and Tumble

_Author's Note: Thanks for all of the feedback so far! I appreciate the kind words, and I hope you continue to let me know what you think in the comingchapters and in this one! I made a little "trailer" for this story and put it on Youtube. If you search for me (BuffyXenaDQFan) it's called "After the Fall._

**Chapter 3: Rough and Tumble**

Much to Dawn's delight, Spike was still there when she finished her homework, and even much more to her delight, he was sitting in the living room with Buffy, and they were…talking! They were having a normal conversation, though the talking stopped when she entered the room.

"All done?" Buffy asked.

"Yep. I'm all Pre-Calculus'd out." She sat down on the couch next to her sister and caught Spike's stare. "What?"

"Nothing. This is the first time you've actually done your homework without an hour long fight since I can remember." Dawn rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, well, you don't have the magic touch, I guess," she shrugged. She looked at Buffy. "Anyway, now that I'm all done with homework, we should do something. We could catch a movie, or we could go to the mall or the movies. Nothing much has changed since you left, but I heard there's a new Keanu flick coming out. And he goes shirtless. I mean, come on." Buffy smiled to humor her sister.

"Maybe some other time, Dawnie. I'm not really up to going out right now."

"Oh. Okay, well, we can do something else. We can watch movies here and order pizza."

"I like that idea. What movies?"

"Ohh…how about _Dirty Dancing?_" Spike groaned.

"What? I figured you'd like anything with 'dirty' in the title," Buffy smirked. He couldn't help but give her a half-grin. At least she was making jokes. She seemed to be livening up. He just hoped that wasn't for show for Dawn's sake. He could see it in her eyes though. She wasn't faking this mood. He just hoped it would last. As much as angry, sarcastic Buffy got him going, he loved to see the pink in her cheeks and the smile on her face.

"Not after watching it, how many times these past few months, Dawn? Six hundred?"

"Ha ha ha," Dawn scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Okay, how about…I don't know, Titanic?"

"That's it, sun be damned, I'm out of here," Spike said, standing up and starting to head for the door.

"Spike!" Dawn laughed. "Come back here. No girly movies. Promise. What do _you_ want to watch?"

"_Texas Chainsaw Massacre?_"

"Ew," Dawn groaned, crinkling her nose.

"_Dawn of the Dead?_ _House on Haunted Hill? _The new one. It's bloodier."

"Gross. And no. We don't have those movies," Dawn replied with a proud nod.

"Alright then," Spike said with a shrug. "Why don't we let the slayer decide?"

"Yeah, Buffy, you decide," Dawn urged.

"You didn't seriously let my baby sister watch movies like that, did you?" Buffy asked.

"'Course not. For being the sister of a slayer, she's sure got a weak stomach," Spike chided. Buffy glanced at Dawn, who pouted.

"_Titanic _it is," Buffy murmured, crossing her arms and glaring at Spike. Despite herself, she couldn't help but smile at the defeated look on his face. Something was different. It was as if she'd come back with the anti-Spike part of her brain completely removed. She knew it wasn't something as drastic as that, especially since she'd sensed the change before the final battle with Glory. Despite whom she was having fun with, it felt good. She decided then and there that she was going to try not to let herself get bogged down in what had happened. She was back, and there was nothing that could be done to change that, short of her getting killed again, and she didn't exactly want that to happen anytime soon.

***

Dawn had fallen asleep about halfway through, and Spike had muttered a comment about how he wasn't surprised. Buffy, not really in a movie watching mood anyway, turned off the TV and without a word, padded off into the kitchen. Without missing a beat, Spike was right behind her. He watched her made a cup of tea and settle down at the counter.

"Want some?" she asked.

"Not thirsty, pet," he said with a shrug.

"My tea's better than my cooking," Buffy pointed out. "Though I guess I'm a little rusty." Spike smiled at her, cocking his head to the side. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just good to see you smile. Thought it might take longer."

"Well, I figure that if I'm here, I should probably act like it." She sighed softly. "No use dwelling on the past, right?"

"You alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because less than a day ago, you were six feet under, and as far as I knew, that wasn't going to change."

"I thought you were asking about me," Buffy quipped.

"I am. This isn't some Slayer fake out. Normally I can see right through you, but you look like you're trying to be happy."

"I am. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, I suppose," he said slowly, sitting across from her, placing his hands on the counter top. "So long as you're doing it for yourself and not for them." She looked up, meeting his gaze.

"Can't it be both?" She shook her head. "Besides, when did you become so concerned about me doing things for myself?" Spike's jaw nearly dropped.

"Let me think. Maybe since you came back from the dead? Or before that. When you threw yourself off of a tower to save your sister and possibly the world. No…no, I think it was before that when I fell in love with you." Buffy stopped breathing, and he could see that this wasn't something she wanted to talk about right now, but it was out there, and he cleared his throat. "Anyway…sorry about the poor choice in funeral dresses. I told them you were probably rolling your eyes at them from whatever cloud you were perched on. Long, black, modest. Not the slayer I know."

"I don't even know where they found a dress like that," she shivered. "Then again, I don't go shopping for funeral clothes very often. We buried Mom in her favorite sundress."

"Yeah. Well, it's a good thing Joyce wasn't here to see the mess you left behind."

"Mess?"

"Well, emotional mess. Nobody was right for weeks after you were gone." He secretly added to himself that he'd suffered most of all, having to be in her house, seeing the Bot looking just like the woman he loved, hearing the past echo off the walls of the Summers' home.

"Well, I'll clean all of that up. Think I did most of that when I came back, you know?"

"Yeah. That helped," he nodded. Buffy drank down the rest of her tea and placed the cup and saucer down in the sink.

"Feel up to patrolling tonight?" he asked.

"I don't know…I'm not sure I feel like…" A rush of voices from the front of the house as her friends returned broke Buffy's train of thought, and she immediately brought her hands to her temples, rubbing away the forming headache. "On second thought, patrolling sounds great."

***

Buffy paused just outside of the gate, and Spike stopped next to her, weapon in hand, ready to slay…something.

"Buffy?" She turned at the use of her first name, and she shook her head.

"Graveyards. Not exactly my favorite place right now."

"Right," Spike winced, mentally abusing himself for suggesting that on the first night since returning from the grave that she spend most of her evening stalking vampires in the very cemetery she'd been buried in. "We can do something else if you want."

"Like what? Look for demons at the park?"

"Hey, it's been known as a hot spot for demon activity even after the sticky-handed nose pickers have gone off to their safe little beds." Buffy made a face.

"Wow, you haven't been around kids lately have you?"

"I was one myself, and I recall having a particular fascination with my nose and…"

"Ew, please do _not_ finish that sentence."

"Bet you were a cute one, Summers. All pig tailed and dressed in frilly little…" Buffy groaned and made a face.

"Dawn showed you the family album didn't she?"

"Well…yeah, but I did accidentally swipe a few baby pictures of you when I was nicking your things last…" When he saw her expression change, he shrugged his shoulders, "Best we not dredge up the past, eh, luv?"

"I'd like them back. Whenever you get around to it," she muttered.

"Right." He cleared his throat, and they started into the dark, foggy cemetery.

"It's quiet," she murmured after a few minutes. She glanced over at him. "Talk to me."

"About what?"

"I don't know. Let's just talk…maybe they'll hear us. It'll draw them out." Spike shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. Maybe we scared them all away. We sure gave them one Hell of a summer, pet, your friends and me."

"Yeah?"

"I think the whelp…ah, Xander, got a few slays in. I think he had a motive behind it. Every time he staked a vampire, Anya would get all doe-eyed, and they'd run off to do God knows what." Buffy made a face. "My sentiments exactly."

"So you really worked with them?"

"Well, when they really needed me. Mostly, though, I patrolled alone and came back home to keep your sis company." Suddenly it was quiet again, and Buffy furrowed her brows.

"What?"

"What? I just talked. You talk now."

"Okay," Buffy said slowly. "Question."

"Shoot."

"What was the hardest demon you fought this summer?" Without thinking, the words came pouring out from Spike's mouth.

"My own," he uttered, suddenly going—if it was possible—paler in the face.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's…it's nothing. Forget it." He took a large stride to get away, but Buffy was next to him within a second.

"Spike?"

"Just drop it, Slayer," he said through gritted teeth.

"Did something happen? The chip? Something?"

"The bloody chip's still intact. Believe me, I found out a couple of times in the past few months." Buffy furrowed her brows again, and he knew he couldn't leave it at that. "The whelp."

"Oh." Whatever a whelp was, she wondered why he insisted on calling Xander that, but she decided that didn't really have anything to do with the conversation. "Then what did you mean when you said what you said?"

"A little thing called death didn't mess with your memory, did it, pet?"

"Stop stalling."

"Fine," he growled, but she could tell he wasn't angry. What was it then? Was he embarrassed? No, she suddenly realized, as his shoulders slumped. He was ashamed. "I let you down."

"Let me down?" she asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Hello? You died, Slayer. A year ago, I'd have been the one to toss you off the tower myself…or at least make you think I would, but I fell in love with you." Buffy shivered, and he saw her flinch, though he was certain that this time, she wasn't disgusted.

"I was going to jump off that tower if I didn't have any other choice, Spike. And that's what I had to do. It worked out. We're all here now."

"But I didn't know the witch would find a cure for your untimely death, pet," he reminded her. "I pictured it. Pictured you falling…right over me. I was lying down there, thinking the night had gotten as bad as it was going to when I got tossed off that sodding thing, but when I looked up and saw you caught up in that…I wished I'd been mortal so I wouldn't have to wake up in the morning and re-live what just happened." _Whoa._

"Spike," Buffy stammered, not really knowing what to say. She'd hear d him pour his heart out to her before, but never like this. There had always been a little something behind it, or at least she'd let herself think so, but now? There was absolutely no way Spike was going to profit from this heart to heart, right?

"Every time I closed my eyes, I saw it. I dreamed about it. I thought of a million different ways to stop you, and each time, I saved you, and most of the time, you were so grateful you fell in love with me the way I guess I wanted you to." She shrugged, realizing he probably could have lived without divulging that little tidbit. "Of course, sometimes, you went back to treating me like dirt. The unconscious mind can be a bastard." Buffy couldn't help but smile. "Anyway, I guess that was my punishment for not getting back up there to stop you…or for getting tossed off the tower before I could stop Dawn from being cut."

"Spike, how many times do I have to tell you that I did what I had to do? If you'd come up there to try to stop me from jumping, I'd have thrown you off of that tower myself. I'm the Slayer. It's what I do. Put myself in the thick of it to try to save everybody else's asses." She pulled her arms around herself, as if shielding herself from exposing her thoughts too much. Didn't work. "Stop blaming yourself." Spike muttered something under his breath, but Buffy stopped him, grabbing his coat sleeve. "You did exactly what I asked you to do. You protected Dawn. I'm…" _I'm really going to say this aren't I?_ she thought. "I'm grateful to you."

"Kept her safe? She was tethered to the sodding…"

"How'd she get down?" Spike sighed softly.

"Soon as I came to my senses, I went back up. Don't really remember much of it."

"But you did it. So you can stop blaming yourself, alright? Can we just move on?"

"Why are you so quick to forgive me?" he asked, cocking his head to the side. "Wasn't too long ago that you wouldn't have bothered to even explain yourself to me. Now you're trying to convince me. What's this all about?" Buffy shrugged her shoulders and started off again, Spike keeping up with her pace.

"I don't know. You changed." He couldn't suppress the grin playing across his features, but she wasn't looking. "I'm not saying the things you did before don't matter. I mean, you tried to kill me and you tried to kill my friends, but look at you. You've been working with them. You took care of my sister for months. An evil vampire wouldn't do that. You don't even have a soul, and you stepped up. It wasn't to win points with me, because I was dead. So what was it? It wasn't the chip. The chip wouldn't have stopped you from running off and leaving everybody else to pick up the pieces." Spike stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Dunno. Just thought it was right. Dawn lost her mum and then you." Buffy stood silently as Spike spoke about these things, and she felt her heart begin to pound. Spike was telling her the truth. He had no hidden agendas for once, and good God, why was it affecting her like this? Her cheeks were stinging with warmth. "Didn't think it'd be right to leave and make her lose someone else. I wanted to leave."

"You did?" He nodded.

"You think it was easy staying in _your_ house after you were gone?"

"Oh," she said quietly. Somehow, she'd come to stand closer to him. They were face to face, boots touching.

"That's why I went out and patrolled alone most nights. Still, I always ended up at your grave."

"You…you did?"

"Yeah," he breathed, looking away. "They stopped coming. Not that they were burdened or anything. It just hurt too much. But I made myself. Figured you shouldn't be alone." Buffy could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Who _was_ this vampire? He had changed. He had the same features as the Spike she once new, but he was nothing like him.

"Thanks," she whispered. "I'm sure I appreciated the company." He smiled at her, and even in the dark, his blue eyes called to her, and she felt her entire body quiver. What was this? Why was it happening? Why didn't it feel wrong? His hand came up to brush a lock of hair out of her face, and his fingers lingered on her warm cheek. She fought against the urge to nuzzle against his comforting hand. "It's amazing."

"What?" she managed to utter, despite the fact that as hard as she fought to remain composed, her insides were turning to mush.

"You. Standing here. Never thought I'd…" He shook his head.

"Yeah," she breathed. "How about that?" Both of them knew they should move, but neither could. It was as if they were stuck by some spell, some invisible force. But the longer they waited, the less they cared to move, and Buffy felt her heart begin to pound faster the moment Spike's cool breath passed over her lips. "What is this?"

"Don't know, pet," he whispered, obviously as tempted and caught up by this feeling. It definitely wasn't new for him, but he never expected her to look at him like that. Now, did he kiss her, or did he pull back and safe them both from the pain that might come later. But, neither of them, vampire nor slayer, were that strong. She found herself inching closer, their lips barely a breath apart, and just as her eyes were about to close, something flickered in the not too distant distance.

"Vampire," she breathed. A smile curled over his lips.

"Slayer." Suddenly, her hands were on his shoulders, and she was pushing him aside.

"No! Vampire!" she yelled, taking off in pursuit of her victim. Spike was a bit dazed from the intoxicating scent of slayer. Perfume, sweet breath…arousal? Surely not. But she was looking awfully cozy standing in front of him, close to pressing her lips against his.

"Little help!" he heard her yell, as she was tossed through the air, her back slamming against the very hard wall of a crypt. Spike immediately dashed off toward the fight, and while Buffy half lay and half sat against the wall of the crypt, she listened to the sounds of a very nasty fight, and within minutes, she heard the distinct sound of a stake plunging through dead tissue, and moments later, Spike was standing over her, hand reaching out. She narrowed her eyes, realizing she was a little dizzy. She reached up, and he helped her stand.

"You alright, Slayer?"

"Yeah. I…I guess I'm just a little rusty."

"Let's get you home."

"I'm fine. Just give me a minute." She placed her hands on her lower back and stretched backward and then forward. Spike watched her as she tried to be tough.

"It's alright, you know. I won't tell anybody." She stopped and turned to him. "Nobody's gonna think twice. You haven't done this in months."

"But I'm the Slayer. I should've been able to get that guy in two seconds."

"Every Slayer has their off days. I think I know that a little better than anyone." He watched Buffy's eyes fill with recognition, and he looked away again. Something pulled at him from the inside, telling him to look away for fear of seeing disgust return to her eyes. But instead of turning her back on him, she just shifted in her place.

"I think that's all we're going to get tonight. Maybe we should head back." He looked back at her, and she gave him a half smile. "Thanks for your help." He didn't answer. He just stood there, a bit dumbfounded, as she headed off for the gates, and after a few moments' pause, he hurried to catch up.

* * *

_Please let me know what you think! Thanks!_


	4. Scrapes and Bruises

**Chapter 4: Scrapes and Bruises**

The house was dark when they arrived back from patrol. There was a note taped to the TV screen, and Buffy pulled it off to read.

"Buffy, went to the Magic Box with Willow and Tara. Get some rest! Love, Dawn." She put the note down on the coffee table and turned to see Spike standing next to the door, hand on the knob.

"Well, uh, I made sure you got home in one piece, so I'm gonna take off." Buffy felt something jump inside of her, and she looked up at him.

"Oh. Ok."

"Unless you need me to stay?" he wondered, part of him hoping she'd ask him to, the other part telling him that he was just making it worse for the both of them.

"You probably do have a lot to catch up on, so you should go," Buffy said carefully, moving past him to hang her jacket on the rack. It was then that he saw the blood on her shirt.

"You're bleeding."

"What?"

"Your shoulder." She touched the area he nodded toward, and she felt the fresh blood coat her fingertips. She winced.

"Some powerful slayer, huh?"

"Sit down. I think Dawn left the peroxide on the counter." Buffy watched him head back to the kitchen and then sat down on the couch, waiting for him to return. She was trembling. Why was she trembling? Maybe because she'd nearly been taken out by an ordinary vampire. Maybe because right before that, she'd been a half second away from kissing Spike.

"Got the stuff," he muttered, walking in and sitting next to Buffy on the couch. "Turn around." Wordlessly, she did as he said, and she waited patiently while he tried to move her shirt down far enough to clean the wound. "Uh…that shirt's got to come off, luv."

"What?! No!"

"The wound's got to breathe, for one, and second of all, it's hard to clean it when your shirt's in the way."

"Then give it to me. I'll do it." She quickly took the bandages, cotton, and peroxide and headed into the bathroom. Luckily, her hands were healing quickly, so this should too, but when she got to the upstairs bathroom, stripped down to her bra, and began attempted to fix her own injury, she realized it wasn't possible. Groaning, she held her shirt over her front, and she stepped out of the bathroom. "Spike?" Silence. Maybe he'd gone home. But then she heard footsteps on the stairs, and her skin prickled, and goose bumps rose on her arms. She forced herself to believe that it was because the house was cool.

"Need a hand?" he asked casually, stepping into view.

"Apparently so," she muttered. "No peeking."

"Wouldn't dream of it, pet."

"You so would."

"Just sit down," he instructed. Buffy closed the toilet lid and sat down on it sideways, her back to Spike. The moment she felt him touch her, she jumped a little, and he couldn't help but smile. "All right?"

"Your hands are cold."

"Vampire, luv." Buffy frowned, but she said nothing, and she let Spike disinfect her wound. She winced a few times, feeling remarkably weak. She was the Chosen One, for crying out loud, and she was reduced to requiring a vampire to patch her up.

"I don't know what happened to me out there," she admitted, as Spike placed a bandage on her shoulder. She quickly slipped her shirt over her head, and he didn't exactly make any efforts to look away. But, she stood and turned to face him.

"It was a rough night," he pointed out. "Like I said, everybody has their off days. Can't expect you to be in top shape less than a day after…"

"Yeah, but," Buffy argued, "I should be. I mean, I took care of a bunch of ugly demons on motorcycles, and yeah, I wasn't fighting at the top of my game, but I managed. This was one vampire, and he had me out of the fight before I could even think about going in for the kill."

"Slayer, it's nothing to be ashamed of," he assured her, his hand moving to her shoulder. She glanced at his hand there, and he quickly withdrew it.

"Yeah, well, easier said than done." She padded out of the bathroom and moved into her bedroom, turning on the light and moving over to her bed, sitting down and taking off her shoes. Sensing the conversation wasn't over yet, Spike followed, but he didn't enter her room. Instead, he leaned against the doorframe. "Maybe subconsciously I'm trying to get myself killed."

"You think so?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I mean, you saw me yesterday. Not pretty. And this morning. Everything in this world feels…I don't know…different. I come back, and my house is different, my friends are different, you're different. And if Dawn's researching and patrolling, I'm going to kill her."

"She's not. We saw to it that she did school research only, and she hasn't so much as touched anything sharp or pointy."

"Not even a steak knife?"

"Actually, she went through a vegetarian phase for a little while, if you can believe it."

"Dawn? Junk food queen?"

"If you can believe it. Didn't last."

"See, everything's different," Buffy said, throwing her hands up, feeling the pull on her shoulder and wincing again.

"Not everything's different, Buffy." She looked up at him, seeing the blue of his eyes burning bright. She couldn't help herself from feeling the intense attraction she felt at that very moment. She'd always felt an attraction from him but was always able to render it as part of his evilness. The seductive vampire, luring girls with his baby blues and his sculpted features and then…

"Yeah, well, a lot is, and that's probably why I feel so different," she explained, standing up quickly and moving across her room to her dresser. She began to take off her earrings, and Spike couldn't help but smile at how she was talking to him and doing this at the same time. It was as if they were old friends, and he wasn't even certain if 'friends' defined them even now. "I'm not supposed to be alive."

"Slayer…"

"I'm not. I died, and that means that the world changed to count me out. Things change when someone dies. I wasn't supposed to come back."

"But you did."

"And it screwed everything up. I'm happy to be alive, but I'm not happy that I have to live like this."

"Like what?"

"Well, for starters," she explained, pointing to her shoulder, "this sucks. Being thrown around by a vampire, that sucks too. Being a stranger in your own house…"

"You're not a stranger. As much as I hate defending your group of friends, they're trying to make you feel at home. You've been through something, pet, that most people never have and never well, except vampires like myself, of course." Buffy eyed him.

"You're not like other vampires," she mused. Spike cocked his head to the side. "Sure, you might not have a soul, but you helped a bunch of humans…and an ex-demon. You babysat my little sister just so she wouldn't feel alone. You're here right now. You dressed my wounds. What the hell are you?" Spike raised an eyebrow, sensing the change in Buffy's tone. She sighed and pushed past him, heading down the hall and then the stairs. He was right behind her. "Why are you doing this?"

"You know why. I love you."

"And if you didn't? Would you still act like this?"

"Does that even matter?" he wondered. "I do love you, Buffy." They were in the living room again, and Buffy wasn't sure if she wanted to sit down, pace, or go outside. So she settled for sitting on the coffee table, while Spike paced in front of her. "When you died, I tried to stop loving you, because it would have been a hell of a lot better than missing you ever sodding minute, but I couldn't stop. This isn't right, Slayer. Vampires aren't supposed to feel love, but I do. It's not the bloody chip, so don't even try to push it off on that. Not every bloody demon out there is a textbook case. When I first told you I loved you, the look on your face…" He shook his head.

"Spike…"

"I can't help the way I feel, and right now, you're here, and that's all I wanted. It's all I asked for after you were gone. That you were here, alive. And you think you're not supposed to be here. You think it's wrong that you're back, because it feels different? I know you never cared about what I thought, but put yourself in my shoes for a minute, Slayer. Say…the love of your life comes back from Hell…" She flinched, knowing he was referring to Angel, "and it's the only thing you've wanted since the minute he left you. Say all he can say is that he doesn't feel like he should be here. Not with you. He should be gone."

"Spike, stop," Buffy said quickly. "I said it feels different. I don't want to be dead. I'm not crazy. I was at peace, because it was over. No more worries. Everything was going to be taken care of. Then I came back. It's hard, Spike. It's hard adjusting from peace to chaos." She stood up, slowly crossing the gap between them. "Why? Why you? Why do you love me?" He could see the tears in her eyes that she was desperately trying to keep from falling.

"I know I'm not Angel, pet, but I can't change that. But I'm not sorry I love you, because right now, even though I'm bloody furious that you're even questioning your place, I'm happier than I've been in months, because you're here."

"You shouldn't love me. It's not healthy," was all she could say.

"Well, don't worry about my health, pet. I'm not dying anytime soon." With that, he turned and walked out the front door, leaving Buffy stunned into silence. The tears that stung her eyes began to fall, and she silently cursed to herself for letting herself get all teary eyed over Spike. But the only words she could hear echoing through her head were his: _"I'm not sorry I love you."_ Why was this happening? Wasn't it bad enough that every single one of her relationships ended horribly, with him leaving, and her picking up the pieces? Now she had this seemingly harmless—on the outside—vampire taking care of her and her family, and he was by natural law, her mortal enemy. He was saying the kinds of things she'd wanted to hear from Angel long ago. But it was Spike. Spike!

"Why can't things ever be simple?" she muttered to herself. Despite her confusion over everything in her post-postmortem life, he had stepped up and taken care of things while she was gone, and she couldn't very well let him walk off thinking she hated him. She used to hate him, but now…now she wasn't even sure that she disliked him. Sure, he was frustrating, but he wasn't who he used to be. Hell, she wasn't who she used to be either.

As she pulled on her jacket and went to open the door, she found that it swung open too quickly, pushing her back a little. Spike stood there, his hand on the other side of the knob, and Buffy let out a little gasp. Neither of them spoke, but Buffy stepped out of the way, and after a few moments, he took the few tentative steps into the house and shut the door.

They both stared at each other as if to ask 'what now?' and neither could come up with that answer. Finally, Buffy cleared her throat.

"I don't hate you. I don't even think I dislike you," she started. "But you say you love me, and—"

"And I mean it." Buffy nodded.

"And I don't love you. I don't know how I feel, Spike."

"That's alright."

"No it isn't. I'm a Slayer. You're a vampire. I'm supposed to hate you, but the only thing I feel toward you is gratefulness, because you've been here. And that's frustrating!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm not supposed to like you. I'm not supposed to think anything other than the things the Chosen One is supposed to think toward demons."

"Told you I'm not a textbook case."

"I can see that. Just…I thought you should know. I don't hate you."

"So…what's that mean?"

"I don't know." Buffy eyed him. "Does it have to mean something?" Spike swallowed hard.

"No. Not right now," he offered. She nodded. "You want me to leave?"

"You don't have to." Spike groaned internally. Obviously, she wasn't going to beg him to stay. "The couch is probably more comfortable than your crypt, though."

"True," he said slowly, deciding to refrain from telling her he'd redecorated and now had a big, cozy bed and everything. He'd much rather sleep closer to her than in a comfy bed anytime.

"Alright then. You can sleep on the couch."

"That'll suit me fine."

"I'm going up to bed."

"Good night."

"Good night."

"You're not moving."

"Neither are you."

"Yeah. I'm sleeping on the couch. I'm already here, luv."

"Right. I'm going."

"Is there something you want, pet?"

"No!"

"I meant…did you want to ask me something?"

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind. Goodnight, Buffy."

"Goodnight, Spike."

***

Buffy woke in the morning to a very dim room. It was after sunup, she could tell, but what time it was, she had no idea.

Blinking a few times, she realized that she wasn't in her room, and when she blinked a couple more times, she realized she was on the couch. But it wasn't until that realization hit her that the sensations in her body screamed at her. She was not alone.

She realized her hands were placed against something the cool, hard, smooth chest of a bleach blonde vampire, and she was lying…on top of him! She let out a little gasp and looked up at his face. Sleeping like a baby. Dressed. Double checking herself, she let out a sigh of relief when she realized she too was dressed. Nothing happened.

Buffy slowly pried herself out of his arms, which were wrapped around her waist. She made sure that he was still sleeping before she rushed up the stairs, only to almost smack right into Willow, who was coming out of the bathroom.

"Buffy!" Willow yelped.

"Oh…hey, Wil," Buffy said nervously. "Um…what time did you get in?"

"Oh, um, early enough. Dawn got off to school alright."

"Dawn! She came downstairs."

"Well, that's generally how one leaves the house," Willow said slowly. "Besides, it's not like she didn't see you and Spike all snuggly wuggly when we came in last night."

"Oh my God," Buffy breathed, closing her eyes. "Wil, we didn't do anything."

"Well, you were both dressed, so I didn't think so," Willow replied slowly. "So…you and Spike?"

"No! Not me and Spike. I…" She sighed, defeated. "I got knocked around during patrol, and he patched me up. He left. He came back. We talked. I guess it got so late we fell asleep."

"You guess?"

"Yeah. It's kind of blurry."

"Buffy, are you feeling alright? I mean, sure, he's been helpful, but he's still Spike."

"Wil," Buffy groaned again. "I don't know. Everything's confusing."

"Since you came back."

"Well, yeah," Buffy admitted, seeing Willow's face fall. "But this isn't about that. This is about making decision to sleep with vampires."

"Sleeping's different than…"

"I know, Wil. I've had boyfriends," Buffy said with a roll of her eyes.

"So is that what Spike is?"

"No!" Buffy replied. "I mean…I don't hate him. Not anymore. But he's in love with me, and he keeps telling me that, and I don't love him. I don't think I can."

"But you've thought about it."

"What do you mean? Of course, I mean, he's always talking about it, so I can't help but think of what would happen if I felt the same way. But I don't. I…I don't know what I feel."

"Buffy, maybe you're still weak from the other night. You should take it easy today."

"I took it easy yesterday and got slammed against a crypt by a vamp. And then I almost kissed Spike." She took a few deep breaths, feeling as if she was getting something off of her chest. For a minute, it was like old times, before college, before deaths and resurrections.

"You almost kissed him? What stopped you?"

"Well, if the vampire coming at us hadn't, I would have."

"You would've?"

"Well, yeah," Buffy said, not so certain anymore. Willow looked at the clock.

"Oh God, Buffy, I'm sorry, but I really have to go. I have to stop by campus and then help Anya with some orders at the Magic Box. Tara's already there." She saw the anxiety in her friend's eyes, and she gave her a big hug. "I can stay though. If you need me to."

"No, Wil, it's ok. Go on."

"Are you sure? Hunky vampire on the couch downstairs."

"Wil!"

"Oh, sorry, I mean…stupid, mean…hunky vampire on the couch downstairs." She smiled sheepishly.

"Thanks for trying to help," Buffy muttered. "I can handle the vampire. Go on. Don't be late."

"You're sure?"

"Yes! Go," Buffy replied, feigning exasperation.

"It's good to see you adjusting, Buff," Willow said softly, hugging her friend again. "Are you feeling better?"

"I think so. Thanks, Wil. It's just gonna take some time." Willow nodded. "Wil? Aren't you supposed to be…"

"Right! Bye, Buffy."

"Bye." Buffy watched as her friend dashed down the stairs. She rushed into her bedroom, found some fresh clothes, and hurried into the bathroom to take a shower.

***

He could hear her up there taking a shower, as he sat on the couch, still feeling the imprint of her warmth on his body. She'd been like his own personal blanket, a pause from the cold he constantly felt. Of course, he never noticed how cold he was until he had her in his arms.

When he heard the water shut off, he wondered how long she would mess around up there before finally coming downstairs. Surely she didn't expect him to be gone when she came down. First of all, it wasn't like they'd shagged. Second of all, it was bright and sunny, the deadliest kind of day for a bloke like him.

So, when he heard her upstairs getting dressed, he made his way into the kitchen, pulled out one of the jars of pigs blood that Willow and Tara generously purchased for him, since he'd become somewhat of a fixture in their home lately. In Buffy's home. He knew better than to press his luck. It was only a matter of time before she kicked him to the curb. After all, she was back now. Dawn had her family back.

He poured the contents of the jar into a coffee mug, heated it for exactly 33 seconds, and when he had it at its perfect temperature, he drank it down, his face morphing as he drank.

"Spike?" Spike took the last sip, put the cup into the sink, generously rinsing it out, and then he turned at her voice. She raised an eyebrow at his vamp face, and motioned toward her own forehead.

"Oh. Sorry." His face shifted back to normal. "All clean?"

"Yeah."

"How's your shoulder."

"Already healing fast. Still a little sore though."

"Want me to take a look?"

"No, it's ok. I'll live." Buffy suddenly felt nervous. She was trembling all over, and she didn't know what to do.

"Are you alright? Slayer?" Her heart fluttered. He stepped closer to her. The goose bumps came back.

"I'm fine. I just need some fresh air. I think I'll go to the mall." She hurried past him, avoiding his gaze, and she grabbed her keys. "Shopping ought to make me feel better."

"Shopping with what? You died. They closed your bank account."

"Well," Buffy said slowly, "I guess I'll go open another one then." She cleared her throat and headed to the door. "See you later." She opened the door and shut it swiftly behind her, leaving a very perplexed vampire alone in her house.

* * *

_Thanks again for your feedback! You leave feedback...I write chapters...:)_


	5. Home Alone

Chapter 5: Home Alone

When Buffy returned, it was only a little after noon. She sighed, knowing nobody would be home for hours. It would be her and Spike, and all they had to look forward to was a series of tense, avoidant gazes, innocent conversations that would make the slayer think far too much about the fact that her feelings for Spike were changing, and she had no control over it.

She placed her hand on the doorknob, saying a silent prayer that she'd be able to control herself. Maybe they'd have a pleasant conversation—one that wouldn't lead to an argument—and things would be alright. But the moment she walked in the door, she dropped her keys to the floor with a loud clatter.

The sight before her was of Spike's naked backside, as he slipped up the stairs, pretending not to notice that he'd just had an audience.

"Spike!" she yelled, despite her best attempts not to call out. She heard feet again, and then he was standing on the landing, completely naked, but this time, facing her. Her eyes went wide as they searched his body for only a fleeting moment, lingering a little too long at certain features that made the Chosen One blush like a naïve virgin. "Oh!" She turned around, and she could practically hear the smirk appear on his face. "What the Hell are you doing?! I could have been Dawn!"

"Dawn's not home for another three hours, pet," he breezed, "and if you were Willow or Tara, well, it's not like it'd interest them. Nothing they haven't seen before. Well, I'm not sure about Tara. I'm pretty sure she's always been…"

"What are you doing walking around naked?"

"Well, I was going to get a shower," he explained, smiling at the back of her head. "You're home early."

"This is _my_ house, Spike. My house."

"And you left me here alone. I didn't expect you home for hours. So I thought, why not?"

"Well, put some clothes on when you're done." Spike started to take a step down the stairs, but Buffy held a hand out, turning further away from the sight. _The gorgeous, god-like, hunk of vampire…sight. _She shook her head, trying to shake off the feelings.

"But…"

"Go, Spike!"

"Pet, I…"

"Just get a shower."

"Alright," he said with a shrug, heading into the bathroom. Buffy moved into the kitchen, obliviously stepping past the pile of his clothes on the floor. She sat down on the couch, immediately turning the television on, trying to get the image of him standing there in front of her, completely naked, completely comfortable with his body and his sexuality, out of her head.

She could hear the water running upstairs, and she knew he was standing underneath the shower head, muscles rippling as the water streamed over them, hair soaking and curling, hands moving over his own body, lathering every inch. _No! Bad thoughts. Stop thinking about Spike. He's…he's just a man. You've seen a naked man before. Albeit, not one so…gifted._

"Gah!" she groaned, leaning back on the couch, pulling a pillow over her head before tossing it across the room. This was so not fair. One minute, he was sweet and considerate. The next, he was parading around naked, obviously amused by her reactions. God, if only he could read thoughts. She sighed deeply, thanking the powers that be that vampires weren't endowed with those powers.

It wasn't long before the water shut off upstairs, and after a few minutes, she heard the door open, feet heading down the hall, down the stairs, past the landing, down more stairs, and…Spike was naked again!

"Spike!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry, luv, but you didn't give me the chance to tell you my clothes are down here."

"Oh," she muttered, getting up and moving across the room, as he advanced toward the couch, bending down quickly to scoop up his clothes, giving her a nice view of the other muscles he possessed.

_Why am I still looking?!_ She asked herself. She turned quickly, and despite knowing better, she was surprised when he began to dress behind her back rather than leaving the room.

"Next time, a towel would be nice."

"Point taken, pet. "

"Good."

"Right, then. Up for a movie?"

"What?"

"There's nothing on the telly. I checked before I headed upstairs."

"You think you can walk around naked in front of me and then just…casually ask if I want to watch a movie?" She realized she had her hands on her hips, and Spike was cocking his head to the side, giving her a funny look.

"Wow, it's worse than I thought."

"What?"

"You're wound so tight, I'm amazed you can breathe, Slayer."

"I am not!"

"Look at you. You can barely look me in the eye because you've seen me naked. You've seen Angel naked. You've seen…what's his face. And Captain Cardboard. But when I walk by, you act like you've never…"

"Shut up, Spike." Buffy moved back over to sit on the couch, realizing that the cologne he was usually wore smelled even better when it was freshly applied. She felt the first fluttering of butterflies in her stomach, which turned to stampeding elephants the moment he sat down next to her.

"Here. Take the clicker. See for yourself. Nothing's on."

"I think I will take that, thank you very much," she huffed, taking the remote and flipping through the channels.

"Didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, Slayer."

"Don't try to convince me that you feel bad about that. You might have changed, Spike, but you're still…"

"What?"

"A bastard?" she offered.

"That's the best you can do?"

"OK, I give. Nothing's on. I guess a movie wouldn't be so bad."

"So long as it's nothing girly. Something bloody or something with nudity. Yeah."

"Pervert. I'm not watching some nudie movie with you."

"I'm not asking you to watch porn, kitten."

"Did you just call me kitten?" The room was silent, and Buffy threw up her hands. "I'm going to go lay down. I have a headache." Spike thought about adding some sort of innuendo to that, but he decided against it. As she stepped up on the foot of the stairs, he called out. "Hey, Summers." She turned to him, expecting some lude comment, but he just gave her a half-smile.

"It's good to fight with you, pet. Just like old times." She rolled her eyes but couldn't help herself. She smiled at him and quickly rushed up the stairs to her room. Spike, still smiling, settled down on the couch to watch a movie.

***

As Buffy lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, trying—and failing—to imagine anything other than Spike's naked body, the phone rang. Grateful for the distraction, she picked the phone up off of the receiver.

"Summers residence." There was a pause. Then a slow exhalation of breath.

"Buffy?"

"Giles?!"

"Good Lord, it is you."

"Giles, where are you?" Buffy asked, tears welling in her eyes.

"Well, there's been a delay. Weather's terrible here, and they're delaying my flight another day."

"But you are coming back."

"Most definitely," he assured her. "I didn't know what to believe when I got the call. You're really…it's really you?"

"It's really me."

"Forgive me for this, but, tell me something only Buffy would know." A pause, and then…

"When I was in high school, you had sex with my mother on the hood of a police car." Another pause. "Giles?"

"Yes, well," he murmured, clearing his throat. "It's possible that you told…"

"Trust me, Giles. I was mortified enough already. If word had gotten out…well, you know how it goes."

"Yes, well. It's good to hear your voice again. Are you adjusting?"

"I guess. Sometimes I feel like it. Others, not so much. It's a change."

"I'm sure you'll be back in the swing of things very soon."

"Spike took me out patrolling last night."

"Is he insane?" A pause. "What am I saying? He's a vampire. Of course…"

"Actually it was kind of my idea too. I wanted to get out of the house. Of course, I'm a little rusty. I got thrown against a crypt. Spike had to dust the vamp himself."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm healing."

"Well, do try to be careful. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Safe flight, Giles." Buffy hung up the phone, and she dried the tears that had fallen from her eyes. Sitting up, she looked at the door, debating on whether or not to go back downstairs. Glancing at the clock, she figured Spike would be heating up another cup of blood by now. Her stomach growled a little, despite herself, and she remembered there was some leftover pizza in the fridge. She didn't know how old it was, but it sounded good.

So, she headed back down the stairs, and just as she'd expected, Spike was standing there stirring Weatibix into his blood.

"Have a nice rest?"

"I didn't sleep," Buffy replied, pulling the box out of the fridge, putting a slice on a plate, and placing it in the microwave, trying not to think about the fact that Spike had just heated up pig's blood in it. After a minute, she settled down across from him at the counter. "Giles called." Spike looked up at her, wiping off a blood mustache from his upper lip. "His flight got delayed." Shrugging, she took a bite of pizza. "It was good to hear his voice again."

"Likewise for him, I'm sure." They both sat in silence, before Spike cleared his throat. Buffy glanced up at him warily.

"What?"

"Didn't say anything."

"But you were thinking something."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know you."

"Not as well as you think, luv."

"Oh really. I'm sure you were thinking something gross. Seeing as you walk around naked and drink blood, I'm sure that's not too far-fetched to think." Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Well, you got me there, pet."

"Will you just knock it off?"

"You're the one who brought it up," he reminded her, his voice a bit rough. He leaned in over the counter, and she held her breath, feeling his cool breath just inches from her face.

"I might be alive, and I might be seeing you in a new light, but I'm _not_ kissing you."

"Didn't say I wanted to be kissed."

"Please. You're a guy."

"Yeah? And guys would rather have a good shag than a snog."

"Gross. And we're done with the pizza." She pushed her plate aside, and she started to walk off, but this time, Spike reached out, grabbing her arm, but not tight enough that she couldn't get away. She could have easily wrenched out of his arm, but she just turned to look at him, his eyes fiery on her.

"Just because you don't love me doesn't mean I'm gonna stop trying to convince you that we could be something... I'm not gonna walk around eggshells, pet. You can throw me out if you don't like it."

"Tempting," Buffy warned. "Very tempting."

"I love you."

"Stop saying that!"

"Before you died, you hated hearing it. Now…now, I've got the chance to tell you every day, and I don't see disgust in your eyes when I say it. I just see fear." Buffy wrenched her arm away.

"You know what, Spike? You don't know me. You don't have a clue what's going through my head."

"Because you won't let me close enough to find out. The only thing you want me here for is for somebody to hold you when you sleep at night. I wish I could say that's enough for me, pet, but it's not." Buffy flinched, and she shook her head.

"This is wrong, Spike."

"Then why is it that each time you say that, you sound less convicing?"

"Because I'm tired of doing this, Spike. I'm tired of convincing you that we can't be more than what we already are."

"Why not?"

"_Because, you're a vampire!" _she hissed. "And don't pull that Angel crap on me. That was different."

"How?" Buffy said nothing.

"Spike, please. I'm tired."

"You can only say that so many times, pet. I told you I'm not like the others. You might believe that I can love you, but I can. They say the dead can hear your thoughts, well, I guess that's not true, or else you would've heard everything I ever thought from the second you left. You'd have heard me thinking about all the ways I could save you; about how I wished things had been different. How I wished Glory could've killed me, so I wouldn't have to feel the way I felt." Buffy felt tears spring to her eyes, and she started off toward the living room, Spike following right behind her.

"I can't help the way I feel! You know I've tried to stop it. I've tried to make it go away, but it grows bigger every day. I hate that I love you," he growled. Did she see fear in his eyes now?

"Spike…I'm sorry," she breathed. "I wish it could be different for you."

"Why can't it?"

"Just drop it."

"Tell me."

"No! Just leave me alone, Spike."

"Slayer…"

"Because I can't let myself fall in love with you!" She was shocked by her own words, and the features of Spike's face reflected that very shock. _Don't say anymore, Buffy. Just let it be,_ she urged herself. She'd said it. He knew what she'd said. She could fall in love with him. She could easily fall in love with him after everything...

The tremble in her voice had told him everything he needed to know. She was afraid.

"Buffy…"

"Please, Spike. Just…leave me alone," she whispered, tears continuing to flood her eyes. "I can't do this."

"You can't let yourself fall in love with me," he reminded her. It was a far cry from her usual answers. "You feel something."

"I don't know," she breathed. "Maybe. It doesn't matter. It can't happen." Spike closed the distance between them.

"It's not supposed to hurt like this, pet," he confessed. "All I know is that I want you. I've wanted you since the minute I saw you. You don't love me, but you could."

"Spike…"

"That's all I need to know. I need to hear that."

"No," she whispered, shaking her head, her body trembling now, as his hands grazed her forearms. She couldn't deny that she wanted him, but if she gave him hope that they could have a future together, she knew she'd be lost to him forever. It was scary, but not as scary as it should have been.

"I don't wanna hurt you." She flinched. "I know how it sounds, coming from me, pet, but it's the honest truth. If you can honestly tell me you don't feel something when you're with me, then I'll drop it."

"No you won't."

"I can try."

"You won't."

"Humor me."

"I can't tell you that, Spike," she breathed. "So what if I feel something with you? It doesn't mean we should act on that. Plenty of people want each other, but it doesn't have to…"

"So you do want me. Like I want you."

"Spike!" She wasn't angry anymore, so much as frustrated. She was breathing heavier, and he could see that she was losing her resolve. It would be so easy to give him what he wanted. She knew that. But she was afraid that once she did that, he wouldn't want to let her go. Even more than that, she feared she wouldn't want to let him go either.

"Alright! I want you! So what?" she challenged, before she could stop herself. She froze, feeling his hands at her hips now. God, he was staring at her like he was a starving man, and if it weren't for the chip, she wasn't so certain, in that moment, that he could refrain from devouring her.

His lips were so close she could almost taste them. She found herself being drawn in by her own accord, but then she was getting farther away from him. _He _was backing away. "All I needed to hear, pet." And then he was gone, into the back of the house, leaving her with knees quaking.

She should have been furious with him, she decided, for pressuring her to say what she had. She couldn't change things. She couldn't backtrack either. It was true. The fact that Spike had changed, and the fact that he wasn't tiptoeing around how he felt made that desire grow. She knew there had to be something mentally wrong with her for desiring a vampire, but it wasn't the first time. Only this time, she was even more afraid, because she had no idea what to expect now that he knew. Now, he was going to keep trying, because he knew that she wanted him, and the thing was, she wouldn't expect anything less. In fact, as she sat down on the couch, the thought that crossed her mind only made her more aware of the fact that if he were to continue to pursue her, she wasn't going to tell him no forever.

Her heart was racing. Why couldn't she just hate him for making him tell her what she had? _Because you care too much to hate him_, her head told her. No. No, she couldn't fathom that. She could fall in love with him. Why? She didn't know. She just knew that she could. And it was a real possibility. As frustrated as he made her, and as pushy as he could be, he loved her. And he wanted to know that after losing her, he might have a chance this time around.

She felt like she couldn't breathe. She didn't know what to do. If she went to him now, she'd make a mistake. A very good, very worth it mistake, she was sure, but she couldn't do it. Not now. _Now now? Not ever!_ She thought.

Still, despite herself, she found herself heading to the kitchen, where she found him leaning against the counter paler than usual, head down, taking deep breaths to try to control himself. _Just walk away. Leave now,_ her head told her. But she was reaching out to him, and she gently placed her hand on his shoulder. He turned swiftly, pulling her close, hands on her hips, eyes boring into hers. He looked into her eyes, expecting to see fear or anger. Hell, maybe he wanted to see it, because at least then, he'd be able to convince himself that this was wrong, and it'd be better for the both of them. But he didn't see that. Instead, he saw her gaze soften and heard the whisper on her lips.

"Spike…" Without hesitation, he brought her to him, his lips capturing hers, catching her off guard. He wanted her to hit him, to push him away, because then he would know, but her hands moved up his arms and tangled together at the back of his head, kissing him back with such intensity, the vampire wasn't certain this was real.

"Buffy," he breathed, pulling back to let her breathe. He ran his cool fingertips down her cheek, ran them through her hair, watched her catch her breath. He saw her lower lip quiver, and she leaned into him again, pressing her body against his. "Slayer," he moaned into mouth, as she opened up to him. He turned with her, backing her against the counter, lowering her onto the countertop, kissing her without restraint.

"Spike," she murmured, hands on his shoulders, pulling him down to her. "Oh God…yes…"

"I need you," he groaned, grinding against her, smelling the scent of her arousal.

"Yes," she panted, as he suckled at her neck. But at the sound of footsteps in the foyer, it was as if lightning had struck them. Spike sprang up from the counter, and Buffy sat up and then put her feet on the floor, lips red and swollen from his kisses. They looked at each other as if they'd both been shot, and before they had a chance to come up with some excuse for their visitor, Dawn came walking into the kitchen.

"Hey guys," she said nonchalantly, tossing her book bag onto the very countertop her sister had just been about to engage in the wildest sex she'd ever had in her life.

"Dawn! You're home early." Dawn wrinkled her brow.

"Um…no I'm not. It's 3:30." Buffy glanced at the clock.

"Huh…"

"Geez, what happened to you guys," Dawn muttered, casting glances at both her sister and the vampire. Dawn raised an eyebrow and smiled coyly at her sister. "You guys had sex, didn't you."

"What?!" Buffy was mortified. "No! No sex!"

"Right, whatever," Dawn said with a roll of her eyes.

"Absolutely no…no sex," Buffy said defiantly. "That's not what we were doing."

"What were you doing, then?"

"I was helping her work out the kinks in her back from last night's patrol," Spike said dumbly. "Uh…she got roughed up by a vampire."

"Okay…" Dawn said skeptically.

"I did," Buffy murmured with a too eager nod. She turned around and moved her shirt so Dawn could see the bandages. "Spike was just helping me with a sore muscle."

"You guys suck at lying, you know that? Anyway, I have homework." Dawn grabbed her book bag and an apple from the counter and headed off upstairs. Buffy nearly collapsed against the counter.

"You were helping me work out the kinks?!" Buffy asked. "Could you have been more obvious?"

"Well, I wasn't exactly lying, was I, pet?"

"Shut up," Buffy muttered.

"You're mad."

"No."

"Let me guess." He cleared his throat. "Can't happen again. Big mistake. It's wrong."

"It probably is wrong," Buffy replied. To his surprise, and pleasure, she didn't add anything else.

"But?"

"But…I don't know. I'm confused."

"All right, then."

"I don't want to be confused."

"So…"

"So…I don't know." Spike smirked a little, moving around the counter toward her. He placed his hands on her shoulders, pulling her closer. She didn't even attempt to fight him.

"So, maybe I can help you make up your mind." Like magnets, they were at it again, kissing, caressing, moaning, drinking each other in. When they pulled back, he cocked his head to the side. "Convinced that this is right yet, pet?" She couldn't help but smile.

"Right? I don't know. Wrong…well..." She shrugged her shoulders. It had always felt right before. And it'd always turned out awful. Maybe this time…maybe it would be different. "We'll see."

* * *

_Author's Note: Please let me know what you think! Feedback is always helpful and welcome!_


	6. Helping Hand

Chapter 6: Helping Hand

Stake in one hand, axe in the other, Buffy came down the stairs at nine sharp to head out and patrol. Tara and Willow were playing a game of Monopoly with Dawn, and Spike was nowhere to be found. Buffy frowned and walked into the living room, smiling when her friends and sister looked up.

"Patrol time?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah," Buffy answered.

"Want us to come with?"

"It's alright. I have a feeling it's gonna be a quiet night."

"Well, be careful, Buffy. Just because you heal fast doesn't mean you should go getting yourself thrown around like a ragdoll," Willow said with a concerned frown. "You're sure you don't want us to come?"

"It's alright. You guys did enough patrolling while I was gone. You deserve a break. I'll see if Spike wants to come."

"I'm sure he does," Dawn said innocently, causing Buffy to force back a gasp of shock. "Gross, Buffy. I didn't mean it like that."

"What have you been teaching her?" Buffy asked her friends. Willow and Tara feigned offence, but Buffy figured she'd picked up quite a vocabulary on her own just by hanging out with Spike.

"He's probably up for a good fight," Willow offered. "He's out on the porch right now."

"Thanks," Buffy nodded. "See you when I get in. Dawn, remember, it's a school night."

"I know," Dawn rolled her eyes. "I'll be in bed in an hour. Promise."

"Alright. Night."

"Night, Buff. Be safe," Willow called out the door. When Buffy stepped out onto the porch, the cool night air hit her, followed by a puff of smoke. She coughed and waved her hand in front of her face.

"Ah, sorry, luv."

"Up for some patrolling?" she asked slowly, part of her wondering with worry if their kiss-fest from the kitchen earlier today would resume in the graveyard, the other part craving for it to happen. She swallowed hard, trying to tell herself that she was being ridiculous. But, the harder she fought her thoughts, the stronger her desire for him became, and it was impossible to deny now.

He moved toward her, tossing his cigarette out onto the sidewalk. She expected some innuendo or for him to grab her then and there, but he just gave her a cocky little smile.

"Sure, pet. Let me grab my coat inside." Unable to form words as the scent of his cologne invaded her nostrils, causing her knees to quake just a little, she just nodded. She felt like an idiot. A teenager with no will power when it came to the wiles of a sexy, mysterious older man. For a moment, she began to wonder how old Spike was when he died. How much older was he than her, not counting the hundred plus years he'd spent as a vampire? He was definitely older. Maybe late twenties, early thirties. Body of a god.

She licked her lips unintentionally and leaned against the railing of the porch. Within a minute, Spike was at her side, coat on, lighting another cigarette.

"Ready?" he asked. She just nodded, and he took a long drag. She watched the way his lips moved as he inhaled and then exhaled the smoke. Visions of what he was probably very capable of doing with that mouth ran through her head, and she nearly tripped going down the sidewalk.

"You're sure you want to patrol tonight, Slayer?"

"I'm fine."

"That's not what I asked, pet," he smiled.

"I want to patrol." She made a mental note to get back into the training room as soon as possible. Maybe when Giles returned, he'd start training her again until she felt she was one hundred percent again. "You know what they say…it's like riding a bike."

"Yeah, but last night, you were almost killed."

"Was not." Spike shook his head and tossed his nearly finished cigarette into the street. They walked in silence, brandishing weapons that, quite frankly, Buffy was surprised hadn't gotten the police called on them. It wasn't every day you looked out your living room window to see two people coming down the street with shiny, pointy weapons…well, unless Sunnydale was your home town.

The shrill scream of a woman nearby had both Buffy and Spike dashing down the street at full speed. As Buffy expected, they followed the sounds to an alley behind an abandoned apartment building.

"Can you see anything?" Buffy whispered. Spike just shook his head. The scream came again, and Buffy darted ahead, leaving Spike to man the exit, just in case the bad guy decided to make a run for it. The Slayer stopped in her tracks when she saw a woman cowering against the cold, brick wall. Looming over her, was a demon that stood about eight feet high, and his skin was a pale red.

"Get away from me!" the woman cried, shielding her face. A snarl escaped the demon's mouth, and he inched toward the woman.

"Excuse me," Buffy said innocently, causing the demon to turn his ugly, yellow eyes in her direction. He lurched toward her, drool hanging off his lips like a big Saint Bernard. "Yeah, you. I got kind of turned around. I was looking for the mall, and…" She playfully flipped her hair, "I guess I just got lost." He growled louder, and Spike came running, stopping next to the slayer, eyes wide with surprise at the sight of the beast. "Oh, you're not gonna help me? A poor, defenseless girl who's lost her way?" The demon came closer, hands outstretched, knife-sharp fingernails the size of tree branches glistening with some sort of slime. "Oh well." Buffy shrugged her shoulders and moved forward, delivering a swift kick to the demon's gut, sending him flying back against the wall, hitting a dumpster and leaving a large dent in the side.

"You should probably run," Buffy suggested to the terrified woman, who wasted no time scrambling to her feet and running off for safety. Buffy stalked over to the demon, kicking him hard in the side of the head, causing him to groan and fall over. But it was only a second before he was scrambling to his feet, charging at her. She came toward him, tumbling forward, feet over her head, catching the demon and tossing him backward.

As she came to her feet again, she heard the sounds of battle behind her, and she turned quickly to see Spike laying into the demon, game face on. Buffy couldn't help herself. Something about the feral growl coming from Spike was getting to her. In a good way. When vampires went all fangy and bumpy, that was never usually an erotic thing, but the fact that Spike was fully charged at that moment sent her mind to other things.

"Slayer!" Spike barked. Buffy snapped out of her thoughts just in time to dodge a swing from the demon. She spun her legs out, tripping him, but he only stumbled and didn't fall. He kicked at the Slayer, sliding her several feet back, knocking the breath from her lungs momentarily. Spike sprang forward, tackling the demon, who pushed him off with one arm, slamming him against the dumpster. Spike let out a painful growl, and Buffy, frozen with fear, watched as the vampire fought to get up, only to receive another hard blow to the chest.

Without thinking, Buffy managed to pull herself up, find the axe that'd somehow been discarded in a dark corner, and she ran after the demon, bringing the blade down on its neck in a fatal blow. A gurgling hiss erupted from the neck of the decapitated demon, before it turned to dust, showering down over both its opponents.

Gasping for breath, slowly regaining it, Buffy moved to Spike's side, kneeling down in front of him, eyes questioning him.

"I'm alright," he wheezed.

"I thought…" Buffy gasped, "I thought only vampires turned to dust."

"Guess he's not a textbook demon either, eh, pet?" Buffy couldn't help but smile at Spike's ability to joke at a time like this, and she held her hand out to him, helping him to his feet. He winced and doubled over.

"Spike? Are…are you ok?"

"Think I might've bruised a rib," he muttered. Buffy felt a cold trickle down her back, and she knew that her healing wound from the night before had been busted open.

"Do you have any bandages at your crypt?" she asked, nodding toward the cemetery across the street as they exited the alley.

"Think so."

"Come on." Leaning on each other for support, they hobbled across the street.

"What a pair we are," Spike couldn't help but utter. Buffy let out a chuckle which made her back hurt.

"Ow. No laughing," she murmured.

"Right." Within minutes, they reached Spike's crypt, and Spike pried the door open. They walked in, and Spike, obviously more able to see in the dark than Buffy, found his matches and lit one, lighting a candle. He went about lighting others to brighten up the place. Buffy looked around in surprise.

"You decorated."

"Yeah. Had some time on my hands."

"Right," Buffy said quietly, shifting out of her coat. Spike immediately saw the blood seeping through the back of her shirt.

"Buffy…you're bleeding."

"Yeah. I know," she mumbled. "Does it bother you?"

"No more than it did the other night, pet," he said, holding his side, trying not to read too much into the fact that this was the first time she ever really showed any concern about how the scent of human—of Slayer—blood might affect him. He raised up his shirt a little to see a purple bruise forming. "Bugger." Buffy moved toward him.

"Is it broken?"

"No. Don't think so. Just gonna be a bit sore for a few days. Lucky for me, I heal almost as fast as you do."

"Yeah. That's why you looked ready to run a marathon right after Glory had her way with you." She tried to pull off a sarcastic tone, but her own discomfort hindered that.

"That was external, pet. For the most part. The internal stuff is different."

"Well, that's good to know," Buffy considered slowly. She shook her head, and moved around, looking for something to patch herself up with. He saw her poking around and cleared his throat.

"Um, it's downstairs," he said, motioning toward the steps that would lead underneath the crypt. "It's better lighting, but I can bring it up here."

"It's alright," Buffy said slowly. "Better lighting sounds better for wound tending."

"Alright. Down you go. Slayers first." Buffy started down the ladder and found her feet touching cement soon enough. Spike was right behind her, and as Buffy took the next few steps down into Spike's underground lair, she squinted into the darkness, until a spark near her head engulfed a torch in flames. She gasped, and Spike took it into his hands, moving about, lighting other torches on the walls, illuminating the large, decorated bedroom. The bed, a large, comfortable looking piece of furniture sat against the far wall adorned in black and red silk sheets. She found herself blushing, and she wasn't even sure why.

"You really did have a lot of time on your hands." She couldn't stop the next words from escaping her lips. "Awfully big bed for one person." Spike looked up at her as he fished through different drawers for supplies. He couldn't suppress a smirk at her comment.

"Wishful thinking, I guess," he uttered. Buffy studied him for a moment, as he went back to looking through his things. Wishful thinking for what? It wasn't as if he'd known she was coming back. Surely Spike hadn't gone all those months without being with a woman. She knew how he loved sex, because he practically oozed eroticism when he walked into a room. He'd had some interesting conquests, she knew, like Dru and Harmony, but she didn't want to know anything about that. The thought made her shiver, and, she realized, a little jealous.

"Here. Off with your shirt." His words would have made her flinch a day ago, but, tonight she moved over to sit on the edge of the bed, the only available place to sit, conveniently. She raised her shirt off of her body, feeling a tad bit embarrassed by the fact that her bra was black and lacy. _What the hell was I thinking?_ she wondered to herself.

Spike moved toward the bed, his eyes glowing at the sight of the flickering flames dancing over her golden skin. As much as he wanted to make her his, he knew that after the small but definite little glimpse of hope she'd given him earlier, he couldn't push it. He had to take it slow with her. Control wasn't an easy thing for a vampire. Especially a vampire who wasn't the average vampire. He could feel love. He did love. Maybe he couldn't prove that, but he knew it in his silent heart. When he loved, he loved passionately and with intensity. It had never been like this before. Not even with Dru. With Buffy, it was forbidden, but it was true.

He sat down behind her, slowly running a damp cloth over her bleeding wound.

"You have running water down here?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at him.

"I knew a guy. Did Clem's cave up. That was before Clem found his own way to make money. Now the git has himself an apartment. His neighbors actually bought it when he told them he has a skin condition." Buffy couldn't help herself, and she giggled. _I'm giggling for him? God, I'm losing it._ "There. Isn't bleeding anymore." He rubbed some sort of ointment onto the wound that tingled a little, and then he bandaged her up. "Good as new."

"Thanks, Spike," she said tiredly, as his hands moved up to her shoulders. He gave one of them a squeeze, and she found herself leaning into him. Within moments, she was leaning against his chest. He felt a twinge of pain in his side, but at this moment, he didn't care. He had to control himself. But control was a hard thing to keep hold of at a time like this.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked after a moment.

"What?"

"Is it because I was dead?" Spike said nothing. "I haven't exactly been Sane Girl since I came back. I'm…I'm sending you mixed signals, I know." Still, nothing. "Spike?"

"Maybe partly because you were dead," he admitted. "But you know the other part. I've told you a dozen times. It won't change. It can't." Buffy closed her eyes. "It never will, pet. As for the mixed signals, I have all the time in the world. I can wait for you to love me too."

"What if…" She leaned into him a little closer, resting the back of her head against his shoulder. He could hear her pulse pounding in his ears. He could smell the sweet, tangy scent of her skin. He wanted to taste her.

"What if you can't?" She didn't say anything, but she knew. "I'm not a beggar, pet. I might come on strong. I might come at you time and time again, trying to convince you that this isn't going to change for me, but if you give us a chance, and you try to believe it…try to feel that I love you, and you still can't love me, I'll leave you alone." It would be hard, but he knew he'd do it, because even though he was immortal, and he had his entire unlife ahead of him, he wasn't sure how many time she could be shot down by the one woman he ever truly loved. _Good thing she can't read thoughts, you bloody wanker,_ he cursed to himself. Sometimes, he realized, he reminded himself too much of William, the young man he once was; the young man that hated his life so much that he'd ended up as a vampire, a loathsome creature that's only purpose was to kill, to feed, to destroy.

"Spike," she whispered, closing her eyes, not wanting to turn around and look at him. The feeling of his cool hands on her shoulders was soothing, and for a fleeting moment, feeling that sensation for the rest of her life didn't sound too awful. "I can't even think straight."

"Don't think, pet. Just feel. Listen to what your heart tells you. You know I love you. You can feel it." She was silent. "Can't you?" Buffy shivered, but she found herself nodding. "And you wonder how I can love, when I don't have a soul." Another nod. "I don't know, pet. I've asked myself that a million bloody times. When I fell for Dru…but that was different. It was like fire when it happened with you, pet. It consumed me. Tortured me. I didn't have an answer. I just knew I had to be with you."

Buffy continued to tremble at his words, but she couldn't fight him anymore. She knew he loved her. She'd known for a long time, but the idea of a soulless vampire loving anyone, especially her, was a difficult concept to grasp. Not only did it confuse her about who she was, but it made her question everything she'd been taught in her years as the Slayer.

"I don't know how," she finally whispered. _Bleedin' idiots_, he thought to himself. She'd been hurt too many times before. She'd died, never thinking she'd have to deal with new feelings like this before, and when she'd come back, he'd been there. He wanted to be there. He wanted to show her everything that love could be, but she had to let him, if she wanted to try.

"You know how to feel. You feel with everything you have, everyday. You fight with passion. That's feeling something."

"Not since I came back," she breathed. "Sometimes I feel like I'm in a fog." He could hear the tears in her voice. _I'm afraid of loving you, because I don't know what that means_, her head and her heart screamed. She felt as if she were giving a part of herself away right now. Something she'd wanted to keep to herself. But she couldn't help herself with him. She felt closer to him than anyone else right now. As much as she wanted to pretend that everything was fine, it wasn't. Not yet. But it could be. She just had to let herself feel it. She had to let herself live as if she were alive, not waiting for the next shoe to drop; for another apocalypse to avert by martyring herself. "I want to feel right again. It…it just takes time."

His hands squeezed her shoulders again, letting her know he was there.

"Then let me help you through it," he whispered. He pressed a soft kiss to her collarbone, and she trembled, shrugging her shoulders at first, but soon giving in to the way his touch made her body react. She turned her head and looked up, looking into his eyes, seeing for the first time how honest he really was. An honest vampire. That was new. This was going to take some getting used to, especially since he could go from an out and out bastard at one moment and be this sensitive, sensual being the next. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that it was just who he was. She'd known that for some time, but only now was she beginning to truly understand the ins and outs of Spike. Not the demon, but the man.

He looked down into her eyes, wondering if she was about to run off, leave him wondering once again. But she didn't. She only gave him a little nod, and it was all he needed to know that she was going to let him try to help her. She reached her arm up, brushing her hand against the back of his neck, as she rested against his chest. She closed her eyes, letting herself feel. Letting her body take over for her. No thinking. Just feeling. But the closer his lips neared to hers, the more she thought…and she thought about how desperately she wanted to kiss him.

He pressed the lightest of kisses against her lips, waiting for her to make the move, wanting her to feel right. It was only a moment before she was deepening the kiss, leaning more and more into him, craning her neck further, her fingers softly raking the back of his neck, as her tongue explored his inviting mouth.

As much as he wanted to ignore the pain throbbing in his side, her elbow grazed the bruise, and he let out a groan, a weakened version of what she was used to hearing when his chip fired off.

"Oh God," she breathed, standing up quickly, pulling on her shirt. She was going to run. He knew it. But, again, she surprised him. "I'm sorry. I forgot…"

"It's alright, pet. No harm done." He stood to face her, and she smiled a little.

"Would it be stupid to say I'm nervous? It's not like…it's not like I haven't done this before. This…r…this…"

"You can say it…relationship."

"Relationship…thing," she muttered. She wasn't certain what they had was a relationship. It wasn't even sex. Yet. She knew that was coming. It was inevitable. She'd seen him naked, and ever since, she couldn't stop thinking about how amazing it would feel to be pressed up against him. How it would feel to have him inside of her.

"Yeah, well," he said with a shrug, tossing her the rest of the bandages for her to wrap around his middle, "it means something else when it scares you." Her eyes locked on his as he said those words. "Because if it ends up better than you expected, it was worth it."

"And if it doesn't…"

"At least you'll have taken a chance to find out." He grimaced internally, thinking that sounded awfully like something William Pratt, his former self would have said. But she didn't seem to flinch at it, so he figured they were still alright.

"Can you raise your arms?" she asked, stepping toward him, fingers trembling. He raised his arms as far as he could, which was pretty far. Vampires had a high threshold for pain, but bruised ribs still caused a lot of discomfort.

Smiling slightly, she began to circle the bandage around his waist, not wanting to get it too tight, but wanting it to be comfortable enough that it might protect him from some pain. He'd taken care of her, and now it was her chance to do the same for him.

"There," she said with a nod of approval when she finished. "All better." Spike took one of her hands in his, curling his fingers around hers. It was such a simple gesture; so human. Her knees trembled as he looked right into her soul, and she looked into the depths of his gaze, seeing so much more than a soulless demon. He was a man..looking at a woman with more love than she'd ever seen. How it was possible, she didn't know, but it was comforting.

"Thanks, luv," he breathed, caressing her cheek with the back of his other hand. He leaned in, brushing his lips over hers again, and in that kiss was a promise that she wasn't going to regret it. The knot twisting in her stomach told her she hoped she wouldn't, but something else deep inside told her not to think about it. Whatever happened, happened, but she was ready to experience something new. She was ready to give living another chance, and she was ready to do it with a little help from somebody who loved her.

* * *

_Author's Note: Again, thanks for all of the support and the feedback! Please keep it coming! I always appreciate your opinions!_


	7. Return

Chapter 7: Return

When Buffy woke in the morning, she opened her eyes to find herself in her own bed at home. Sunlight was just filtering in, and she suddenly remembered that for the first time since coming back, she didn't have Spike to wake up to. She'd left him to rest in his own bed to recover from the bruised rib he'd received from their fight with the alley demon.

With a frown, she sat up, feeling the aching muscles in her back and chest from the blow she'd received, and she glanced at the clock. It was after eight. Dawn would be at school already. Willow was probably on campus, and Tara was either down in the kitchen or at the Magic Box. So, she took the opportunity to head into the bathroom and take a nice warm, shower, wincing each time the water stung her wound. She examined it as best she could in the mirror, seeing that it was already starting to heal again. She just had to make sure she didn't get her ass kicked tonight.

After she was all cleaned up, she dressed, making sure to wear a loose fitting shirt over her uncovered wound to let it get some air. When she headed down the stairs, she could smell breakfast in the kitchen, and her stomach growled. She could hear Tara's voice, but who was she talking to? Maybe Willow didn't have class today?

But when she stepped closer to the kitchen, she became aware of a man sitting at the counter. Not just any man. An older man. A British man. A man with luggage. She froze in place the moment Giles came into view. Tara was spooning more hash browns out onto his plate. She looked up, a bit startled.

"Buffy! Good morning." She smiled. Giles tensed a little before turning in his seat to see the Slayer. Buffy felt the tears immediately come to her eyes, and he stood, slowly walking over to her. Surely, this was a glasses cleaning moment, but he couldn't bring himself to reach for them.

Buffy closed the rest of the gap, pulling her arms around the man who'd been like a father to her for five years. His arms closed around her, and she squeezed her eyes tightly, clutching him, hoping he wasn't leaving again. Sure, she'd quit the Watcher's Council some time ago, but right now, she needed him as her Watcher more than ever.

When they pulled apart, Giles couldn't stop the smile from spreading over his face, though his eyes were full of concern.

"How was your trip?" Buffy asked.

"Quite long, actually," he nodded, holding her out at arms' length, as a proud father might do to his daughter before her very first school dance. "We have a lot to talk about."

"Yeah," Buffy muttered. "Can we do it over a little training?"

"What?"

"I'm not exactly…in primo slayer mode lately," she responded, turning around, tugging down the neck of her shirt to reveal the bandage.

"Good Lord," he muttered. "What did that?"

"A crypt wall…after a vampire threw me against it like I was a rag doll." She watched the color slowly drain from his face. "Ready for that training session now?" Giles took off his glasses and proceeded to clean them.

***

Buffy spun on her heel, kicking the training pads Giles had slipped over his hands for this very training technique.

"Good. Once more, a little more force." Buffy spun again, this time on her other heel, kicking with her left foot. "Excellent. I'd have you get on the pommel horse, but your shoulder could use another day or two of healing."

"Thanks, Giles," Buffy muttered, stretching her hood shoulder.

"Tell me exactly what happened that night," he said, as he searched through the equipment chest, looking for a good board for her to break.

"The night I got hurt?" She thought back to that night, thinking about her conversation with Spike as they'd walked. "Spike and I were patrolling…we were talking." She decided it would be best for now if she left out the fact that their talking would have ended in them kissing had the other vampire not broken up their moment. "A vamp showed, and I went off after him."

"So soon after…"

"Coming back from the dead? It's ok, Giles. I'm starting to accept it. You can say it."

"Right," he said slowly. "What were you thinking going in there?"

"I definitely wasn't thinking about being weaker," she said with a shrug. "But Spike helped, and he took care of the rest. I just kinda lay there trying to catch my breath."

"Yes. Well, Spike was rather helpful this past summer."

"I noticed a big change in him," Buffy offered. "I know he's helped before, but I guess I wasn't prepared for how much he changed while I was gone."

"He didn't take your death very well. None of us did. At first I thought perhaps it was his way of manipulating the group, trying to get on everyone's good side due to a mutual loss. But, he took care of Dawn, looked after her like she was his own sister. I was wary of him, but he never gave me reason to doubt he was helping her." Buffy felt her throat becoming dry. Giles was actually talking Spike up? She'd never thought she would see the day.

"Well, he did help me…a lot, after I came back. He took care of me that night, and he helped out with this new fun injury," she said with a roll of her eyes. "And we went out again last night. We both got it big time, thanks to some gross, red demon. He's dead now though. No worries."

"Yes, well," he said with a nod, "it's good you weren't patrolling alone. I don't think you should go out tonight, Buffy. In fact, I strongly advise against it. The rest of us can hold our own for a night or two. You need time to recuperate."

"Great," Buffy said with a heavy sigh. "I can't wait until I'm functioning on all Slayer cylinders again. This weak Chosen one thing sucks."

"I'm sure you'll be feeling more like yourself in a few days. Good as new. Resurrection is quite a draining spell for the intended deceased, after all."

"Yeah. Noticed that." Giles planted his feet firmly on the mat and held the board out. Buffy shook out her legs, prepping her muscles for impact. She grew very still, staring hard at the center of the board, focusing on that only. Sucking in a sharp breath, she spun again, kicking hard enough that when the board broke, Giles stumbled back.

"Like I said," he winced, his hands tingling from the force of the impact, "in a few days, you'll be good as new."

***

After Giles and Buffy's training session, Anya closed the shop for a late lunch, and the group headed to a small café. Tara, who normally wasn't talkative, took the opportunity to fill Buffy in on some things she'd missed while she was gone, while Buffy tried to listen intently. Anya would break in with a quip here and there, and Buffy tried to smile and be patient with the very literal ex-demon. Still, all through lunch, Buffy couldn't stop thinking about the night before.

She'd opened up to Spike and decided to take a chance, and the moment she let go of her reservations, she'd felt so free. Now, a knot was forming in her stomach again. Relationships never turned out well for her. At least not relationships that involved sex. Friendships, she could do, but actually sharing a part of herself with Spike that was so personal scared her a little. Having sex with Angel had resulted in his turning evil. Having sex with Parker resulted in her feeling like crap for weeks. Having sex with Riley…well, it was good sometimes, but there was always something missing. Maybe it would be different with Spike. Better. If he made love as well as he kissed, well, she was in for some serious, serious trouble. And not exactly the bad kind. The kind that sent chills up and down her spine and made her ache for his touch.

"Buffy? Are you feeling ok? You haven't had more than two bites," Tara said softly. Buffy snapped out of her thoughts.

"Oh…I guess I'm not that hungry," Buffy said quietly. "Big breakfast. It was delicious, by the way." Tara smiled, but she didn't hide the concern that shone in her eyes. "I'm fine, Tara."

"You don't look fine. You've been looking off in the distance and blushing for the past three minutes," Anya pointed out. "Xander says I do that when I think about sex." Buffy's eyes widened, Tara stifled a smile, and Giles fought the urge to clean his glasses.

"I don't know what I was thinking about," Buffy muttered, taking a sip of ice water.

"You weren't thinking about sex with Xander, were you?" Anya asked, gaze prepared to shoot daggers. Buffy made a face.

"No, Anya."

"It's good, but he's mine."

"Yes, Anya. He's yours," Buffy said with a slight laugh. Anya showed her sparkling engagement ring to the Slayer. Buffy remembered something in the back of her head about Xander getting engaged to Anya, but she couldn't remember much else about it. "It's beautiful. He has good taste in engagement rings."

"I think so," Anya sighed dreamily. "By the way, I'm supposed to ask you to be a bridesmaid. Xander said he insisted."

"Oh," Buffy said slowly.

"You'd be up there with me and Willow," Tara offered. "Willow's also acting as best man."

"Oh. Alright," Buffy said quietly. She looked around, suddenly craving being back at the Magic Box, releasing a little tension through training. "We should be getting back. Willow will be waiting for us." Buffy got up, taking her check up to the counter to pay, while the rest watched after her for a moment before quickly following after.

***

Willow still wasn't at the Magic Box by the time Buffy and Giles finished up their second training session. She had called and left a message with Anya, explaining that she would meet everyone at the house later that night. She was helping a classmate study for an exam. Giles looked a little put off by this, like he was eager to talk to Willow yet dreading it at the same time.

After she'd cleaned up and changed back into her jeans and T-shirt, she figured she's stop by Spike's crypt on her way home and see if he was doing alright. However, when she was getting ready to head out the door, the phone rang, and Anya answered.

"Magic Box. Oh! Hi! Yeah. She's here. Oh. Ok. Love you." Anya hung up. "Buffy? That was Xander. He needs you to pick up Dawn from school. He's running late at work."

"Oh. Ok. Thanks. Tell Giles I'm taking his car, and I'll get it back to him in one piece."

***

"Where's Xander?" Dawn asked, climbing into the passenger's side of Giles' car. He'd left the car at Xander's apartment building, giving strict rules that it not be touched by any of them until he returned, if he ever did, that was. But, of course he had.

"Had to stay over at work. How was school?" Dawn shrugged.

"No homework. That's a plus, right?"

"Big plus," Buffy agreed.

"How's your shoulder?"

"It's ok," Buffy replied, pulling out onto the road. "I trained with Giles this afternoon. You got to see him before you left for school, right?"

"Yep. But he didn't look too happy with Willow," Dawn pointed out.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It was kind of tense. They didn't say much to each other, and she looked worried. But she left before they got the chance to talk." Buffy wondered if they were talking about the thing they didn't talk about this morning right now.

"Oh," she muttered. She knew it was something to do with her. It had to be. The reason he was back was because she was too.

"Spike didn't sleep over last night. Did you guys have a fight?"

"What?" Buffy asked, concentrating hard on the road. It had taken everything in her to keep from swerving off the road at the abrupt mention of his name. "Um, no. No, we didn't have a fight. We both got roughed up by a demon last night. We went back to his crypt to get patched up. He passed out on the bed before I left." The moment she realized what she'd said, her heart nearly stopped.

"I knew it! You are having sex with him."

"No!" Buffy exclaimed, "and don't use that word."

"Sex?"

"Ack! It sounds weird coming out of the mouth of my baby sister," Buffy groaned. Dawn smirked. "We're _not_ having sex."

"Did you ever think it's just as gross when you say it?" Buffy rolled her eyes at that.

"Spike bruised a rib, and he fell asleep. Nothing happened. I came home."

"You're spending a lot of time with him. Are you guys…a couple?"

"Dawnie, it's complicated," Buffy admitted. Dawn's eyes went wide.

"Oh my God!"

"What?"

"You didn't deny it."

"What?"

"You didn't say you're not a couple. You guys are dating?" Buffy felt her cheeks glowing, and she chewed on her lower lip. "What? You're the one that told me to stay away from him, because he's evil. It wasn't _that_ long ago." Buffy gave her a look. "I'm just teasing you. If you guys start dating, you have _no_ idea how happy I'll be."

"Why would you be happy?"

"Because! You guys are _so_ meant for each other." Buffy looked at her sister skeptically.

"You think so? Why?"

"Well, because it's your perfect romantic story! Two lovers from opposite sides of the tracks find a common bond, and they fall madly in love with each other."

"OK, I'm cutting you off. No more soap operas."

"Oh, come on," Dawn whined. "I'll stop talking about it, but just so you know, if you start dating Spike—which you'd be stupid not to, by the way—you'll totally have my support."

"Thanks," Buffy said slowly. "Why all this sudden interest in my love life, Dawnie?" Dawn shrugged.

"Hey, it's just good to have my big sister back. It's good to see you happy. Well, happier each day. I know it's not easy, and Spike seems to get that. He's been good to you, and he was really nice to me while you were gone. He's good, Buffy. He really is." Buffy let those words sink in, echoing what her heart was already telling her.

"You realize that we haven't fought since I came back? That's weird," Buffy noted.

"I've just been going easy on you, because you were dead and everything." Buffy couldn't help but let out a laugh at that. God, it felt good to laugh like that. "Just wait…the sisterly torture's coming."

"Oh, I'm sure it is," Buffy pointed. "But I can give as good as I get. And you'd better not even _think_ about looking for my diary."

"Afraid I'll find some juicy details about Spike in there?" Buffy's face turned pink again, and she gasped at her sister.

"Shut up! You are gonna pay, little sister. Mark my words."

"We'll see about that," Dawn laughed. They rode in silence for a few blocks, until Buffy pulled up in front of the butcher. "What are we doing here?"

"I noticed Spike was almost out of pig's blood last night. I just thought I'd stop and get him some more."

"Mmm-hmm."

"It's just blood."

"Yep. Blood for your vampire boyfriend."

"Shut up, Dawn," Buffy said with a roll of her eyes, but she couldn't stop the smile tugging at the corners of her mouths.

"Whatever. I know I'm right." Buffy shook her head, got out of the car, and headed in to make her order. Five minutes later, she came out carrying the sack, placed it gently on the floorboard of the backseat and turned toward home. "The cemetery's that way."

"I know. I'm taking you home."

"No way! I want to say hi to Spike and see for myself that he's ok. He's kind of like my big brother, you know? Come on. He took care of me. The least I can do is help you deliver some pig's blood."

"Alright, alright," Buffy muttered, turning the car around and heading off toward the cemetery. _No, this won't be uncomfortable at all_, she thought. Trying to suppress the butterflies in her stomach and the thoughts of Spike that made her knees tremble, she pulled through the gates of the cemetery and parked near the groundskeeper's office.

They walked silently across the cemetery together, Buffy carrying the bag of pig's blood, Dawn looking around, shivering.

"What are they gonna do?" Dawn asked. "About your headstone, I mean. How are we gonna explain the empty grave?"

"Willow's gonna take care of that, I think. I think she can hack into the files and erase my plot. I'm sure she can do a spell to make the headstone disappear."

"Yeah. It's nice to know a witch," Dawn said with a nod. They came upon Spike's crypt in a matter of minutes, and Buffy slid the door open. When she entered, it was empty, but she knew he had to be home. Where else would he be right now?

"Spike?" A pause.

"Down here, pet." Buffy froze.

"Oh. Um, I have Dawn with me," she called. That was code for 'you'd better have clothes on.'

"Yeah. Come on down!" he called. Buffy led the way, just in case he was perhaps delirious from pain and actually was naked. But when she made it down the steps and reached up to take the bag of pig's blood from Dawn, she turned to see Spike standing in front of a mirror, bandaging himself. Of course, all that anybody could see was circle of cloth surrounding air. It was like watching the invisible man bandage himself up.

"How's your rib?"

"Almost healed. Not very painful. Think I'm up for some grunt work tonight." Buffy's eyes widened. "Patrol?"

"Oh," Buffy stammered. "I'm not patrolling tonight. Giles thinks it'd be better if I rest a couple days."

"Oh. Alright," he said with a shrug. "What's this?"

"Fresh from the butcher." She handed out the bag to him, and he gratefully accepted it.

"Thanks, luv. I'll pay you back."

"Nah, this one's on me." Spike raised an eyebrow in surprise, and Dawn smiled inwardly to herself, deciding that if these two were going to get together, she'd better let them have every opportunity to get there.

"Whoa, Buffy. I need some fresh air. I'll be outside."

"Are you ok?" Buffy asked, turning to her sister?

"Yeah. Yeah. I just forgot how…claustrophobic I can get." Buffy furrowed her brows.

"OK. I'll be up in a few minutes."

"Oh, take your time. I'll be alright. I might walk to the car."

"Don't even think about…"

"How could I?" Dawn asked, rolling her eyes. "_You_ have the keys."

"Right," Buffy said with a sheepish smile. "OK. Take it easy. Sit down if you have to."

"Will do," Dawn said, turning to climb back up, smiling proudly to herself, amazed that Buffy hadn't caught on.

Buffy turned back to Spike, and she smiled nervously. He eyed Dawn as she disappeared up the ladder, and he shook his head. _Clever little bit,_ he thought to himself.

"You're…um…you're sure your rib's ok?" Spike lifted the thin layer of bandage to show her the almost faded bruise.

"It's a bit tender, but it'll be fine by morning, like I said."

"Yeah," Buffy said slowly. "Um…well, I don't want to keep Dawn waiting." Spike moved toward her, and she couldn't make her own feet move in any direction. He reached out, resting his hands on her hips, making her entire body quake.

"Don't think she'd mind waiting a few minutes. You heard her."

"Spike," Buffy warned, but not convincingly. She placed her hand on his bare chest, feeling how the cool skin contrasted with her warm hand. She was mesmerized by the pale, cool flesh, and she wondered what it tasted like. Closing her eyes, she tried to think other thoughts, but the only ones she could think were the ones that were about to get her into trouble. _ Sweet, delicious trouble_.

"So," he murmured. "No patrolling tonight?"

"Nope. I'll be sitting at home watching reality TV all night, because apparently, it's taking over the world."

"Or, you could stop by here…"

"Spike, they'll all be out patrolling. It'll be a little suspicious." Spike cocked an eyebrow, and he could practically feel the tremors running up and down her spine, as he caressed her lower back.

"Or I can come by."

"Dawn'll be home," she pointed out, as he leaned in to brush his lips against hers. "Speaking of…she's probably still up there right now."

"Right…you don't want anybody to know." She heard a hint of pain in those words.

"Not right now. It'd be too much for them to deal with. Too much for me to explain." Her hands found his, and their fingers laced together. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms, kiss her breathless, and show her what it really was to be loved. But, he knew the timing wasn't right. "If this…whatever this is…works out, which I'm not sure it ever can, I will tell them. Just be patient with me, ok?" Her voice was so innocent, and there was a hint of a pout on her lips. He couldn't resist. He pulled her against him, his lips crashing against hers hungrily. He held her so close, and despite the twinge in his side, he kept pulling her tighter against him. She was never close enough. He never wanted to stop touching her.

But the kiss had to end sometime, and Buffy slowly backed away, placing her fingers against her lips, feeling the tingle left from his amazing kiss.

"Come back tonight," he suggested. "Tell the Bit you forgot something at the Magic Box."

"Spike…"

"Alright," he said, backing off. "But I'm going to call you at ten sharp."

"Call me? How…"

"Ten sharp. If you change your mind—if you want to see me—let me know."

* * *

_Author's Note: Thanks for the support and the encouragement! I'm thrilled those of you who've left me feedback are enjoying the story! Please, keep me up to speed on what you think of each chapter! I appreciate it greatly!_


	8. Ten Sharp

Chapter 8: Ten Sharp

At five after nine, Dawn came bounding down the stairs with her book bag slumped over her shoulder. Buffy had been perched on the couch watching mindless amounts of television since after dinner. She looked up to see her sister standing in the doorway.

"Where are you going?"

"Um…Janice asked me to come help her study. Big bio test coming up."

"Oh," Buffy said slowly. "Do you need a ride?"

"No. She's coming to pick me up. She has her license now." Dawn seemed to have a 'hint hint' tone to her voice.

"Oh. OK. Well, wear your seatbelt," Buffy said with a yawn.

"When are you taking me to get my permit?"

"When you can go two minute without tripping over your own two feet," Buffy teased. "Besides, state law says you can't get your permit for another week." Buffy smiled sadly. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for your birthday, Dawnie."

"Hey, it's no big deal. You were kind of…well, dead."

"I know. But I still wish I would've been here."

"Well, there's still my sixteenth, and I expect a brand new car."

"Well, take that up with the powers that be, because I think I have thirteen dollars and some lint in my jeans pocket."

"Don't worry," Dawn said with a shrug, as a honk sounded from outside. "Mom's life insurance covered a lot while you were gone, and Anya says there's still some left."

"Yeah," Buffy said, feeling a little twinge in her heart. She smiled. "Sounds like your ride's here. Have a good time."

"Thanks, Buffy. I'll just ride with her to school tomorrow."

"Alright. Call me if you need anything."

"Alright, alright," the teen said with a roll of her eyes for show and a smile. "See ya!" Dawn headed out the door, leaving Buffy to the glow and murmur of the television. With a sigh, she turned off the set and headed upstairs.

Once in her bedroom, she removed the bandage from her wound and examined it over her shoulder in the mirror. It looked much better. Another day and it would be healed. She was thankful for that benefit of being the Chosen One.

She piled her clothes into the hamper and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. By the time she was dry and dressed, it was a quarter 'til ten. She shivered, knowing he'd be calling in exactly fifteen minutes, and she had to give him an answer. Nobody would be home until well after midnight, unless someone got hurt, but still, Buffy wasn't sure she wanted to chance inviting Spike over in order to avoid being caught heading to his place.

However, the image of the look on Giles' face should he catch the two together was amusing. It was then that she realized what she was planning. They were planning to have sex. This wasn't just about hot kisses and mindless groping in the dark. This was about the growl in his voice and the passion in his eyes when he looked at her; raw need dripping from his every word.

Her body was responding to just the thought of him. She could only imagine what it would be like when they finally…

_Riiiiiing. Riiiiiing._ Buffy jumped, and headed over to her phone.

"You're early."

"What?" It was Willow.

"Oh! I…um, never mind. Is everything alright?" Part of her hoped they needed her to come help, because she wasn't sure how to act in the other situation that was about to present itself tonight. Sure, she'd had sex, but she'd never felt so…desired before. What if he was disappointed when it was all said and done? She froze. Now she was wondering if she was good enough for Spike. Him? A vampire. Wow, she had it bad.

"Everything's fine. Just wanted to call and tell you it's pretty slow out here tonight. But we're expecting at least two 'unusual puncture mark' victims anytime now. We'll be late, so don't wait up."

"Oh. Ok," Buffy murmured.

"Is Spike over there?"

"What? Why would he be here?"

"Well, because he usually sleeps there, and we saw him leave his crypt a few minutes ago."

"Oh. No. He's, um…he's not here. I don't know if he's coming or not." Her cheeks stung at that.

"Oh. OK. Well, we'll see you in the morning."

"OK. Night, Wil."

"Night." Buffy hung up, her fingers lingering on the receiver. Fantastic. He was most likely going to come over, and they were going to have the house to themselves. All night. She felt a familiar heat pool between her legs at the thought of what they might possibly get themselves into. Well, what else were they going to do? Make popcorn and watch movies?

She found herself pacing, wondering what she should say to him should he actually call. Who was she kidding? Of course he was going to call. The sensible thing to do would be to tell him she wasn't feeling well, and that she was going to get some rest. But, when it came to desire, nothing was sensible.

The phone rang again, and Buffy looked at the clock. Ten. Sharp.

"Hello?" Her voice was soft, quiet, almost inaudible, but he could hear her perfectly.

"Evening, luv," he breathed, his voice smooth as silk. A tingle ran up her spine.

"Spike. Hi…"

"Have you changed your mind?"

"About?" she asked slowly, playing innocent. She could hear him smirk on the other line.

"Have you changed your mind about meeting me?"

"No," Buffy replied quickly. "They're all out there, and they already saw you leave." A pause.

"Hmm. So you're alone?" _Lie_, she urged herself. "The Nibblet's there?"

"She's at a sleepover," she prattled before she could stop herself. _Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ Why had she told him that? The tingling sensation spread outward from her spine, making her body ache for his touch. _Oh. That would be why._

"The others?"

"Long night ahead of them," she admitted.

"Do you want to see me?" he finally asked, knowing that he probably shouldn't play games if he wanted to see her tonight.

"Yes." The word left her mouth in a rush of breath.

"I'll be right there." The line went dead, and Buffy lingered with the receiver at her ear for a moment before hanging up.

She rushed down to the living room, straightening her hair in the mirror on the wall. Her hair was still somewhat damp and hanging loosely down her back. She'd chosen a soft, black tank top and a pair of matching pajama shorts sans underwear as her bedtime ensemble, and part of her knew that this was exactly what he was hoping to see when he got there.

"What am I doing?" she murmured, running her fingers through her hair. _What feels good_, a voice whispered in her head. Before she had the chance to think twice and go upstairs to change, he knocked on the door. Her heart nearly stopped, but she managed to put one foot in front of the other and make her way to the front door. Preparing herself for all possible situations, such as him tackling her against the wall and kissing her into oblivious, or simply him sweeping her up and carrying her to the nearest bed, she turned the knob, opened the door, and greeted him with a pleasant smile. "Spike."

"Hello, luv," he said with a tilt of his head and a raised eyebrow. He looked her over from head to bare feet, and he smiled approvingly. "I'm glad you had a change of heart." He held his hands out. In one hand was a DVD from the nearest rental place, and in the other was a package of microwavable popcorn.

***

The popcorn had barely been touched, but the movie was almost over. She couldn't believe it. The movie had been a slaughter-fest, and despite the fact that she was a Slayer, and she'd seen much worse on a nightly basis, she didn't care to watch. Mostly, she stared at the screen but thought about why exactly he'd brought a movie and popcorn. The best she'd come up with so far was that he'd done it to torture her. Yes. That had to be it. He'd come over, knowing she was expecting that he was expecting sex, and he'd brought a movie and popcorn. And to make matters worse, she'd been disappointed. Then she'd wondered what that said about who she was. Disappointed that she was getting popcorn and a movie instead of what would probably be incredibly fantastic sex.

"What'd you think?" he asked, snapping her out of her thoughts, as he popped the DVD out of the player and put it back in its case.

"Um…not bad," she offered.

"Not bad? It was bloody brilliant!"

"You got the bloody part right," Buffy muttered. Spike sat back down beside her on the couch. His cool hand brushed the side of her leg, and she shivered, her nipples hardening under her black shirt. She quickly covered herself with her arms, trying to be nonchalant.

"Come on, Slayer. You can't tell me that wasn't one of the best horror films you've ever seen."

"I haven't seen enough to compare. My life is a horror movie. Remember?" Spike shook his head.

"You didn't touch the popcorn."

"What is this?" Buffy asked aloud.

"What?" He eyed her, his azure eyes burning into hers. She swallowed hard, cheeks flushing red. He was going to make her say it, and he was going to enjoy it. _Bastard_.

"Popcorn and a movie? That's what you wanted to come over for? After earlier in the crypt? And after last…"

"What were you expecting pet?" he asked, clearly amused.

"Nothing!" she insisted.

"Nothing? Then what's got you wound up so tight? You're awfully tense." She just stared at him.

"It's nothing. I just figured you'd…you'd come over and try to…to grope me and…and get me into bed, so…so I'm just…shocked…no, surprised that this is what you had planned." She tightened her jaw, trying to lie as best as possible. It was useless, she knew.

"Are you disappointed?"

"No! I'm…_so_ not disappointed. I'm happy, actually. I didn't want you pawing me anyway. I'm too tired." Was it possible to turn anymore red? She could feel her cheeks practically sizzling. Were they as red as they felt? Still, this back and forth banter had her responding to him in the same way she did when she thought about the things he could do to her with only a look.

"You're a terrible liar, pet. Did anyone ever tell you that?" Buffy looked at the blue glow of the television, trying to ignore him, but he reached for the remote and the screen went black. "Besides, what makes you think this is all I had planned?"

"Sorry," she said with a shrug. "Maybe if you'd saved the movie for last, I'd have been more cooperative, but…" She shrugged and stood up, making a show of heading out of the room, but he grabbed her wrist and tugged her down into his lap. She couldn't hold her faux anger anymore, and she let out a little giggle. "Just wanted to see how long you'd last before you couldn't take it anymore. I'm impressed."

"Oh, please! Like you're God's gift."

"Hardly," he chuckled, licking his lips. "Wouldn't be nearly as interesting, would it?" Buffy rolled her eyes, and Spike smirked at her again, but she couldn't stop the smile from spreading over her face again. _Damn it. _Why'd he have to be so damned irresistible? And how had she resisted him before? Oh yeah. The raging hatred and mortal enemy thing.

He had a firm hold on her. One arm around her waist, the other under her knees, holding her in his lap, hoping she wouldn't try to get away. And she didn't. He made the first move, pressing his lips against hers. She was surprised at the softness of his kiss, and she relaxed against him, inhaling the scent of his cologne and the cigarette smoke clinging to his black t-shirt.

Somehow, she found herself falling back against the couch cushions, knees bent, leaving enough room for him to crawl between them and rest against her. She moaned softly, as his lips pressed against the hollow of her throat, and she fought the urge to gasp for breath. Closing her eyes, she let her body take over.

His hand moved to cup a breast in his hand, caressing her nipple through the fabric of her shirt. She moaned into his mouth, as his tongue sought entrance. She opened up to him, her tongue brushing against his, reveling in the feel of her own warmth against his cool caresses. It was breathtaking.

His other hand moved between them, brushing over her thigh and then moving under her shirt, his fingers seeking the warmth of her stomach. She felt her muscles shrink under his touch, and she let out a giggle. The last thing she wanted was to let him know she was ticklish, but when she opened her eyes and saw the devilish gleam in his eyes, she knew he knew. Thankfully, he didn't explore that newly learned fact.

His hand moved further up under the shirt to touch her other breast, feeling the nipple harden under his cool fingertips. He looked down into her eyes, and he watched as her cheeks turned pink again. He was in awe. The Slayer, the most powerful woman in the world, was reduced to nervous blushes beneath his intent, heated gaze, while his hands took their time exploring the soft flesh of her well-toned body.

"So bloody perfect," he muttered against her neck. Her hands roamed up his back and into his hair, pulling him to her for more kisses. She smiled against his lips, when his hand moved away from her breast and caressed her inner thigh.

He could feel her heat against the crotch of his jeans, as he slowly began to grind against her. He was hard now, straining against the not-so-stretchy material of his pants, and Buffy gasped at how the friction made her almost instantly wet.

"Oh God," she murmured, arching her back, as he tasted the flesh of her shoulder. "Spike…unh…" Another grind had her throbbing now. He'd barely touched her, but God, she was so ready for him.

"What is it, kitten? Tell me what you want?" he murmured. He saw the amused twinkle in her eyes, but it quickly faded, as her body continued to respond to his actions.

"Say it again," she found herself whispering.

"Kitten?" She smiled, biting her lower lip. His lip curled up in a smile, and he realized she rather enjoyed the new pet name he had for her. She arched her neck up so she could kiss him again, hungrily, her hands moving to grab at his shirt. He helped her out by pulling back and raising his shirt over his head. Her hands started at his shoulders, slowly moving down his body, over his firm abs, gently caressing the spot where his bruise had already faded.

"Does it still hurt?" she whispered. He shook his head.

"Told you. Good as new," he breathed. She smiled again, and he resumed kissing her, as her fingers explored his cool, bare skin. She felt him shudder against her, as the warmth of her fingers trained paths from the back of his neck to the edge of his jeans. "Mmm…need to see you…" He raised up again, and she managed to halfway sit up, her body trembling even more now, because this was about to go past the point of no return. She wasn't looking for an escape. She was only looking into his eyes.

His fingers started at her waist, lifting ever so gently, tickling her ribs, as he lifted the shirt over her head. It lightened the mood when she began to giggle, and when he tossed the shirt to the growing pile on the floor, he raked his eyes across her chest, his mouth watering at the sight of her.

She blushed again. She'd never been well blessed in the breast area, and that'd always been kind of a hang up each time she'd revealed herself for the first time with a guy. But the way Spike looked at her made her feel differently…made her feel perfect. His lips were on hers again, and he was pulling her to him, one arm around her waist, pinned between her back and the couch cushions, as he trailed kisses from her lips, down her throat, and down her chest.

She gasped at the feeling of his cool, wet tongue against her breast, circling the sensitive flesh, as he caressed the other with his free hand. However, his hand began to move down her stomach, making those muscles jump again, and when he reached her shorts, his cool hand pressed against her hot center.

She closed her eyes, biting her lower lip, arching her back again, as he began to rub her slowly, a thin layer of cotton acting as the only thing separating him from what he wanted. He inhaled deeply, her scent filling his nostrils, and Buffy would have made a face had he not smiled reassuringly as he gazed into her eyes.

"Tell me," he breathed. "What do you want?" Buffy groaned, muttering something incoherently. He nibbled her earlobe, as he continued to stroke her. "What, luv?"

"Not here," she managed to gasp. "Up…upstairs." His eyes sparkled. The thought of making love to her in her own bed was thrilling. She wanted this. She wanted him in her bed.

He managed to make it off the couch, pulling her along with him. He lost his hold on her for a moment, and the moment her feet touched the ground, she was springing back up, her legs wrapping around his waist, her breasts crushing against his chest.

He carried her up the stairs with ease, making his way blindly to her bedroom. When his knees hit the bed, he fell forward, and they toppled onto the bed together, her legs still wrapped around his waist, grinding against the bulge that was becoming uncomfortable for him now. He stood, unwrapping her from around him, and he reached down, taking the waist of her shorts in his hands and slowly, torturously sliding them down her legs, immediately finding, with great appreciation, that she wasn't wearing panties.

He tossed the last piece of her clothing aside, and slowly parted her legs, and she watched with awe as he admired her. Her scent was making him dizzy with fever now, and as much as he wanted to taste her, he had to be inside of her. She was glistening, ready for him, and when she saw the sudden need in his eyes, she sat up, eyes on him, as she began to work with his belt. His hands moved to her shoulders, gently kneading them, his eyes never leaving hers.

The belt slid out of the loops easily, and in moments, Buffy was pulling his jeans down, finding herself wondering why she was surprised he wasn't wearing underwear. She gasped a little at the sight of him before her, and she realized that he was bigger than she'd ever had before. He had at least a good inch in length on her past lovers, and he was slightly bigger around.

She slowly lay back on the bed, her eyes meeting his again. He crawled over her, and she could feel the tremors running through his body as fast as they ran through hers. Her breathing quickened, and as he slid his cock against her center, she closed her eyes, her hands reaching for him, gripping his shoulders. She sought his mouth, her lips pressing needful kisses against his. His arms wound around her tightly, and he began to slide into her. As much as he wanted to lose control at that very moment, he fought hard to make this right for her. He wanted it to be the best moment of his existence, and the painful thought that this might be his only chance with her flitted through his mind. If this was his only shot, he wanted to make it memorable for the both of them.

She found herself holding her breath, feeling her body stretching to accommodate him. She marveled in the fact that he wasn't as cold inside of her as she would have thought. It wasn't like anything she'd felt before, but it felt good.

He pulled back a little before pushing in a little further, feeling her nearly milking him, her muscles tight and starting to pulsate around him. It took another couple of strokes before he felt her relax and start to breathe normally again.

Her eyes were glazed now, and he kissed her forehead, beginning to make love to her. He kissed her eyelids, her nose, her mouth, nibbled her lower lip, let her moan into his mouth, and he buried his head against her shoulder, as he picked up the pace.

"Oh God," she murmured. "Spike. I need you, Spike."

"I'm here, luv," he breathed. "I'm here." He pulled her knee further up and elevated her hips just slightly, causing the friction to graze against places she'd never thought could feel so good.

"Unh…Spike. Oh God. Don't stop," she breathed, resting her forehead against his shoulder, as he threw his head back, a growl escaping his throat. He'd wanted to take it slow, their first time, but he couldn't help himself, and she didn't seem to be complaining.

"Buffy," he groaned, as he felt his body losing the fight with control. She was starting to shudder, and he looked down at her face, the face of an angel, and she clenched her eyes shut tightly, her mouth opening in a silent scream, as she arched back, her body stiffening for only a moment, before he felt a flood of warmth surrounding him.

A few strokes later, and he watched her eyes widen in surprise as his seed filled her, cooler than she'd expected, but judging by the way her lips curled in a smile, he gathered it wasn't an unpleasant sensation.

The moment he left her, rolling onto his side, he found himself gasping for breath, which he had no use for, but God, the things she could do without even trying. Her body could respond to his in ways that were unexplainable, and she had no idea how amazing that felt.

She turned her head, looking at his still face, as he lay with his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling unnecessarily. He looked so human, and she couldn't help but reach out to touch his chest, as if searching for his pulse. But there was none, obviously. However, his hand found hers, and he curled his fingers around hers.

"I…I…" he stammered. "You're amazing. The things you do…"

"I didn't do anything," she admitted, the blush returning to her cheeks, as she rolled to her side to study his face.

"You did plenty, kitten," he practically purred. He turned to his side, daring himself to kiss her. The look in her eyes told him she wouldn't turn him down. And she didn't. She moaned softly against his lips, her body still recovering from what had just happened. The sky hadn't fallen. There were no flying pigs of any kind. The world hadn't ended, and she felt amazing. Her body was still on fire, and all she could think about was next time. "You're so beautiful."

"You…I've never," she murmured quietly, "I've never been able to…not that fast…" He smiled a big smugly, but he quickly thought better of it. Deciding to go for the less cocky approach, he caressed her shoulder.

"It's been a while for you."

"I guess, but still…wow."

"I was 'wow' worthy?" he asked, smile turning smug again. He couldn't help it.

"Get over yourself," she scoffed, but leaned forward to kiss him again. "But yeah. That was pretty 'wow' worthy." She sat up in bed, and Spike wondered if this was it. Maybe to her, it was that one amazing experience that she thought was better left at a one-time-thing. But, when she turned in the bed to face him, he slowly sat up across from her.

"Slayer," he murmured, "I…"

"I wasn't 'wow' worthy?"

"You were bloody fantastic," he said with a shake of his head. "I can't even…you know…I just…"

"Ohh…a speechless vampire. I think that qualifies as…" But she was interrupted by a kiss, and the rest of the words spilled out into his mouth. He didn't want to ask the question. He knew if he waited long enough, he'd know if she wanted him again, but the moment she slowly pushed him back, he thought he knew the answer. Their kiss broke apart, and what he thought was the end of something completely beyond this world, his head was hitting the pillow, and she was crawling over him. Well, he had his answer. For now. Who knew what the next hour or day or week held. But, when she smiled and whispered into his ear, something told him he had nothing to worry about right now, so he was going to enjoy every single moment.

***

Another hour in the bedroom and a long, pleasurable shower later, Buffy and Spike were sitting on the couch downstairs after having made sure to clean up the living room a little. Clothes were put back on. Well, his were. She'd changed into something a bit warmer, some grey pajama pants and the same black tank top, and he was thankful for the fact that she was comfortable enough to curl up against him and watch TV.

"They'll be home soon," Buffy said with a yawn.

"Want me to go?" he asked.

"Mmm…no. Stay." She found her eyes growing heavy.

"You're sure?"

"Sure. I'm sure." Her words were getting more distant, and he kissed the top of her had. He hated to ask. He knew he shouldn't. But, he was a glutton for punishment. He had to know.

"Buffy, wake up."

"I'm awake," she mumbled. But, he gently pushed her back, placing his hands on her shoulders. He smiled as she blinked sleepily in front of him.

"This thing," he said quietly, "I…I don't want to scare you."

"I'm not scared, you stupid vampire," Buffy said with a roll of her eyes, obviously becoming lucid again. "Amazing sex doesn't equal scary."

"Unless I start dropping a certain word around."

"OK. Tonight was…it was perfect," Buffy admitted. "Can we just…leave it at that? I don't want to talk about the 'l' word or anything else. I'm happy. You made me happy tonight. Several times." Spike chuckled at that, but he couldn't help but let a little fear slip out in the quiver of his voice.

"So leave it at that?" he asked. "You mean…it's just…tonight."

"What?" Buffy asked. "I…is that what you want?"

"Are you mad, woman? That's like asking a starving man if he wants to skip dinner." Buffy smiled a little.

"OK. So…we're agreed? This…we can keep doing this?" He answered her with a kiss. "I like that answer." He kissed her again, and they settled back to watch the TV again. Soon, she curled up into his lap, and held her for a good while, before finally carrying her up, placing her in her bed, and then returning to his usual sleeping place, the Summers' couch.

* * *

_Author's Note: I'm so happy those of you sending feedback are enjoying the story! I hope those of you that aren't saying anything are enjoying it too! Let me know what you think! Thanks!_


	9. Progress

Chapter 9: Progress

"Buffy?" Buffy's eyes snapped open at the sound of her friend's voice. It was Willow. She glanced at the clock. One thirty A.M. She didn't even know how she'd gotten to bed, but she figured Spike must have carried her. Yawning and turning on her light, Buffy sat up, squinting at her friend.

"Wil? What's wrong?"

"It's…I couldn't wait until morning. I was gonna talk to you earlier, but I couldn't you get you alone."

"What's up?" Buffy asked, stretching a little. She quickly discovered that some muscles weren't used to the strenuous activities she'd participated in earlier.

"You…you know how Giles wanted to talk to me earlier."

"Yeah. I meant to ask you…I just…it slipped my mind."

"It's alright."

"How'd it go?"

"Aside from Giles threatening to send me away for witch rehab?"

"What?!"

"He thinks…he thinks I'm getting too powerful." Buffy thought for a minute.

"But I thought the whole point of being a good witch was to be powerful."

"He thinks I'm messing too much with the dark stuff." There was silence, and Buffy shivered.

"Oh. Like what you used to bring me back."

"Sort've," Willow murmured. "Buffy, I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I knew the risks. Something could have gone wrong, and I just…I wasn't thinking. We all wanted you back so much, and…" Willow's eyes were brimming with tears, and Buffy reached out to place her hand over her friend's.

"Wil, we already talked about this."

"Maybe I am getting out of control, Buffy. I…I mean, Tara's gotten on me a few times about using spells to do little things. I try not to use them so much, but sometimes…sometimes I just forget, and it's…it's easier to do a spell."

"Wil," Buffy whispered, "I…I need to tell you something. And I hope you'll listen. I feel like telling you is…is more important, because you're the one that brought me back. Yeah, the other's helped, but I think you knew more of what you were doing." Willow nodded slowly. Buffy squeezed her hand, prepared to let this out now. Maybe it was the fact that tonight had been one of the best nights she'd had in a long, long time, or maybe it was the fact that she truly was getting over what had happened to her, but the way Willow sounded worried her, and she needed to tell her, even if it didn't sound so great at first.

"What?" Willow asked. "Is it about the spell?"

"Wil," Buffy said again, clearing her throat. "When…when I came back, I didn't want to be here."

"What?"

"I told you I was grateful you brought me back and…and that's truer now than it was then. But…Wil, I was happy. I was finished," she whispered. Willow's face continued to contort into a dismayed frown.

"Buff…"

"No, I need you to hear it," she said with a shake of her head. "Where I was…I was at peace. I knew everything was alright, and I didn't have to worry. And then I was ripped out of that…" Willow flinched. "I came back here, where everything was violent and confusing, and I had to come back to a life full of pain…and…and confusion." Buffy's own eyes were welling with tears.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy. I'm sorry we…"

"Wait. I'm not finished." Buffy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I was out of sorts for a day or two. Understandable, right?" Willow nodded. "But ever since then…I've been trying to focus on what's here now, and I know I still have things I have to do. Like I told you…I'm not done here. And…I like to think that someday, when I'm old and grey, but still have fabulous fashion sense," she quipped, "that I'll be able to go back there…wherever I was, and know that it's the right time."

"Buffy…"

"It wasn't my time. I chose to jump, because Glory didn't give me any other choice. I couldn't let Dawn die. But, when I died, I left her, and I left all of you to try and pick up the pieces. And you brought me back. It was the right thing to do."

"You…you forgive me?" Willow wondered. Buffy smiled, and without words, she pulled her friend in a warm hug, and when she let go, she smiled.

"I owe you, Wil. I owe you for bringing me back, even if I wasn't sure I wanted to be here. I know now…it's what I needed." Willow smiled, feeling a little better. "Maybe Giles thinks you're getting too far in, and I don't know if you are or not…but whatever it was you did, it brought me back here, and it gave me another chance." Buffy's tone grew darker though. "But you're my best friend, Wil. Maybe…maybe you should cut back a little more, even if it's for a while. I don't want to see you get hurt." Willow looked away and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right."

"So what else did Giles say? Or do I wanna know?"

"Besides the fact the fact that the spell could've gone wrong, and you could've been a zombie?" Buffy nodded. "He said I could have disrupted the cycle in which Slayers are called." Buffy froze.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Buffy muttered.

"What?"

"When the Master killed me," Buffy murmured, "I was only gone for a few seconds, but it was enough. Kendra was called. When Kendra died, Faith was called." Buffy watched Willow's expression change. They'd been so worried about getting their friend back that they hadn't even stopped to consider that there was more than likely a brand new Slayer running around out there.

"We…we haven't heard a thing from the Watcher's Council. Nobody's contacted Giles."

"It's ok, Wil. I should've thought about that as soon as I came back."

"You had a lot on your mind. But…I guess it's good to know that there's somebody else out there that can take care of themselves against demons. One less person for you to protect, right?" Buffy nodded, but she didn't feel so sure.

"Right." Willow frowned and looked at the clock.

"I'm sorry I woke you up. I just thought you'd want to know."

"I'm glad you did," Buffy admitted. "I…I needed to talk to you."

"Thanks for telling me. I'm glad things are better for you now." Buffy smiled.

"Me too. G'night, Wil."

"Night." Willow disappeared, returning to her and Tara's room. Buffy sat up for a few minutes, thinking about everything Willow had just said. Mostly, however, she thought about the fact that there was probably another Slayer out there, most likely one without training. At one time, only one Slayer existed at a time, until she went and let herself get killed by the Master. Then poof, two Slayers and no way to turn back the hands of time. Then she went and got herself killed again. Why hadn't she thought of it at all?

She fought for over an hour with the mattress, trying to find a comfortable position, but she just couldn't sleep. Finally, she decided to go downstairs and get a glass of water. She tiptoed down the stairs, hoping not to disturb Spike, but when she peeked into the living room and found the couch without anybody on it, she immediately became alarmed. She hurried over to the front door, looking out on the porch to see if he'd gone out for a smoke, but he wasn't out there. She padded into the kitchen, looked out the back door, and still found no trace of him.

She shrugged her shoulders and groggily moved over to the sink, filled a glass half full of water, drank it down, and headed back out of the kitchen. But, as she was leaving, she could smell the distinct smoke from his brand of cigarette. She looked over toward the basement door to see a sliver of light playing across the floor.

Silently, she moved toward it, and she opened it up.

"Spike?" She closed the door behind her and headed down the steps into the basement, lit only by one of the lights in the far corner, where Spike was spread out on a cot, looking up at the bottoms of the kitchen floorboards, blowing a steady stream of smoke from between his lips.

"Hoped you might come down here," he admitted, putting out his cigarette and sitting up on the cot. Buffy slowly crossed the room and sat down on the cot next to him. She looked down, noticing that he was barefoot, wearing sleep pants and nothing else.

"Willow woke me up, and I couldn't get back to sleep."

"Everything alright?" he asked, leaning against the cool bricks of the basement wall. Buffy scooted back to do the same. Their shoulders touched, and Spike placed his hand on her thigh, testing the waters. She didn't react, so he kept it there.

"I didn't even think there might be another Slayer out there."

"What are you talking about?"

"Remember? Faith's only a Slayer because Kendra died. Kendra was a Slayer, because I died."

"Oh," Spike said slowly, realization hitting home. "You think another one was called when you…"

"Yeah," Buffy said with a shrug. "I mean, why wouldn't there be? I died for all of a minute when the Master got me, and that was all it took for Kendra. It's not like the Powers that Be would have a lull period between Slayers. There always has to be one. Well, I guess three now."

"You want to look for her?"

"It'd be impossible to find her. I'm not even sure the Council would help us. Oh, I'm sure they could find her, but…"

"No use thinking about things that might not even have happened."

"What?"

"Just because you died…maybe it doesn't happen every time now that there's more than one Slayer. With Faith…"

"Locked up," Buffy added.

"Well, yeah, but she's still Chosen. Maybe this time, instead of calling another Slayer when you died, maybe…"

"Maybe it reverted back to the way it's supposed to be," Buffy finished. Spike nodded. "And then I came back and screwed it all up again." She shrugged. "Maybe."

"No use worrying your head about it now. If it did happen, maybe you'll get to meet her someday. I don't see why you're so fixated on this." Buffy sighed. He was right. Why worry about something that she had no control over, if it even happened anyway? She had better things to think about, such as finally feeling happy. If a year ago, somebody had bet her a thousand dollars that she'd be starting up a relationship with her mortal enemy, she'd have taken them up on it, because it would have sounded absolutely ridiculous.

But nothing felt ridiculous about the way he gently kneaded her thigh, or the way she placed her hand over his.

"Why'd you come down here, anyway?" she wondered, eyeing him. He smiled at her, shrugging his shoulder.

"Wishful thinking." Buffy giggled, and she shook her head.

"Yeah, wishful thinking, that's for sure."

"Hey," he pouted, feigning hurt, "why'd _you _come down here?"

"I smelled smoke, and I saw light. I wanted to make sure you weren't trying to burn the house down."

"Oh, you know me so well, luv," he breathed, as she leaned in to kiss him, teasing his lips with her brief kisses before she pulled back.

"I'm wide awake now," she muttered.

"C'mere," he offered, laying down and moving over to give her some room. "Sometimes it's better if you don't sleep alone." Buffy eyed him, considering her options, before she lay down next to him, turning so her back was to him. He turned to spoon against her, and he wrapped his arm around her waist, his hand splaying out across her tummy. She smiled, as his nose buried into the back of her hair.

"You smell so good," he murmured. She placed a hand over his, and she closed her eyes, smiling into the darkness.

"Good night, Spike."

***

"The Bronze? Tonight?" Buffy asked, as she and Dawn stood on the front porch. Xander would be by any minute to pick her up for school.

"Sure! Why not? It might be fun. You and Spike can dance, and…"

"What makes you think we'd want to dance together?"

"Oh, whatever," Dawn replied with a roll of her eyes. "You two think you're so smooth. Maybe the others don't see it, but come on. You look at him like he looks at you."

"And…how might that be?" Buffy asked, a defensive tone thick in her voice.

"Like he's sex on a stick."

"Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed, only to be answered with an amused smile from her little sister. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure. Sure. Maybe you don't even see it yet, but you two are totally meant to be together. You'll see."

"Oh look. Xander's here! Have a good day at school."

"Uh-huh, change the subject."

"Oh, go to school, Dawn." Dawn gave her sister a quick hug before sprinting off to hitch a ride with Xander. Buffy waved to her friend, who gave her a wide smile and a wave back. When Buffy turned back around to go inside, she smacked right into Tara, who seemed a little agitated. "Oh! Sorry, Tara."

"It's ok."

"Is everything alright? Did something happen?"

"N…no," she hesitated. "Everything's fine. I'm just running late. I promised Anya I'd help her do inventory at the Magic Box."

"Oh. Ok. Well, see ya later?"

"Sure, at the Bronze?"

"Oh, Dawn got to you too?"

"Oh yeah," Tara said with a smile, happy to be distracted from whatever was on her mind. "It'll be fun, I guess."

"Sure! That is if music hasn't changed into something completely awful. I miss the music they played when we were kids. Whatever happened to that?"

"Ah yes. Good times," Tara agreed. "See you later, Buffy." Buffy gave her friend a quick wave and sighed, heading back inside. As she was coming through the door, Willow was squeezing past her, muttering something about being late and waving at her friend. Buffy finally managed up inside the quiet house, leaning against the front door.

She closed her eyes, thinking about everything she had to do for tonight. Pick out an outfit, do her hair, makeup, maybe do her nails. As she was thinking about it, a pair of lips crashed down on hers, and two strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him and away from the door.

When they finally broke away, she stared at him in shock for a moment before relaxing in his arms.

"You know, the fact that you're jobless, and I have nothing better to do while I wait for the sun to go down bodes well for the both of us."

"Oh yeah?" she asked, her lips curling into a devilish grin.

"Mmm," he murmured, as he went in for another kiss. She kissed him back, her tongue teasing his lips as she begged for entrance into his mouth. He backed her up against the door again, turning the lock and putting up the chain. No interruptions. Scooping her up into his arms, he carried her up the stairs and into her bedroom.

***

"What do you think? For the Bronze tonight?" Buffy asked, standing in front of the bed, holding a white blouse up to her chest and a black skirt to her lower half. Spike made a face.

"Hideous. Toss it," he teased. Buffy's jaw nearly dropped.

"Well, who asked you, Mr. Fashion Tasteless?" she asked, tossing the clothes aside, revealing her naked form.

"Ah, much better," he commented, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back, admiring her. Buffy rolled her eyes but crawled back onto the bed. Spike sat up, leaning his back against her headboard, and she straddled his lap, pulling her arms around his neck.

"Well, I can't go naked."

"So don't go at all," he suggested with a shrug.

"I have to go," Buffy reminded him, nibbling on his lower lip for a moment, before pulling back to look into his eyes. "They want me to go, and I think it might be fun."

"More fun than…" He raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I can cut out late, and…" Her words fell only against his lips, and she moaned as she felt a stirring against the back of her leg. She smiled, situating herself in his lap, grinding her hot center against his growing erection. She moaned softly, holding on around his neck, as his fingers gripped her hips. She let go with one arm and reached down to stroke him until he was completely hard. Then, while never taking her eyes off of him, she raised her hips and guided him inside.

She was slick and hot, and though they'd just shagged less than twenty minutes ago, she was still so tight that it took him a couple of strokes to fill her. Her eyes closed, and she rolled her head back, a low moan escaping her lips. His hands gripped her hips harder, as she began to ride him slowly. His head flew back, hitting the headboard.

"Bugger," he growled, pulling her against him, kissing her breathless. A soft, mewing moan followed a string of hot kisses that made her melt.

He took the opportunity to flip her onto her back, pulling her legs around his waist, as he drove into her, making her gasp in pleasure. She bit her lip, trying to control the cries from slipping through.

"S'alright, kitten," he whispered between kisses. "We're home alone." At his reminder, she let out a cry that made him shutter in pleasure. It was raw…primal."

"Fuck!" she cried out, her nails raking down his back, as he angled her hips to give her more sensation, and he circled his thumb around her clit, feeling her inner muscles beginning to contract. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, and he continued pumping into her, and after a few more strokes, he felt her entire body shutter, and her neck arched back against the mattress. "Spike…" It was only a matter of moments before he spilled himself inside of her, continuing to pump inside of her until he began to go soft. He lay atop her for a moment, and she smiled up at him, her skin covered in a fine sheen of sweat. He bent down, tasting the salt against her lips.

When he pulled back to look into her bright, green eyes, he wanted to say so many things to her. He wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to tell her that she was everything to him. But those words only led to painful conversations about their relationship and about the status of his non-existent soul. So, he said nothing. He only kissed her once more, and he slid out of her. He rolled onto his side to watch her, as she took in big gulps of air. He smiled lazily at her, placing his hand against the warmth of her stomach. She turned to look at him, and she smiled back, perfectly content for now.

"Buffy?"

"Hmm?"

"Save a dance for me tonight?" he asked, half-kidding. What was the harm, really? People could dance and be friends? She just wasn't sure how her friends, namely Xander, would react. After she pondered it for a moment, a smile broke out on her face once more.

"Okay." And she pulled him into another smoldering kiss.

* * *

_Please let me know what you thought of the chapter! Thanks! If I'm posting and only three people are reading, I'm going to take the story off of and post elsewhere. _


	10. The Bronze

Chapter 10: The Bronze

The lights were bright and hot, and the music was louder than she remembered. As the group, minus Spike, walked into the night club, they made their way through the throng of dancers to a table in the middle of the room. Dawn was the first to sit down, and Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara, and Buffy all circled around it. Buffy looked around, searching for any hint of a bleach blond vampire, but so far, nothing.

Spike had left at sundown to do whatever it was Spike did when she was alone. The thought amused Buffy, because she figured that one of those possible things would be so much more fun if he _wasn't_ alone when it did it.

"Wanna dance?" Willow asked, cutting through her delicious thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Dance! Come on!" Just like old times, Buffy, Willow, and Xander all headed out to dance on the floor, while Anya, Tara, and Dawn watched, shaking their heads in amusement. Buffy couldn't help but laugh as Xander pulled out his awkward but entertaining moves, and Willow danced like nobody was watching. She'd used to be this shy little girl, and now she danced with confidence. She crooked her finger toward a shy Tara, who shook her head, but was soon overcome by the smile and charm of her lover. She quickly took the dance floor, and Willow spun her around. Soon, she was laughing, and as Buffy danced along with her friends, she couldn't help but search around, wondering where he was. Surely he was coming. From the sound of it, he'd planned to.

Buffy looked over toward the table and notice Anya was making her way onto the floor, and some kid was asking Dawn to dance. Buffy caught her sister's awkward glance toward her, and she gave her the big sister 'be good' warning glare.

She had to admit, it was fun to get out and dance again. As a matter of fact, the last time she could recall having fun at the Bronze was when Spike awkwardly tried to make small talk. God, if she only knew what she knew now, that night would have ended so much differently.

After a few minutes, Buffy felt her throat going dry, and deciding the crowd was too loud to excuse herself from her friend, she just walked up to the bar and ordered a coke. As she was sipping at it, the music changed into something softer, slower, and everyone coupled off, even Dawn and whoever that boy was with his hands that were thisclose to being inappropriately low on Dawn's back. Buffy kept an eye on them for a minute, before she caught a whiff of that familiar cologne. Then, a cool breath on the back of her neck.

"Dance with me," he breathed, inhaling the scent of her hair and skin. He noticed she was wearing some tangy, fruity body spray. She wore the same white shirt she'd held up earlier, though the skirt was different. It was black leather, but it was shorter, and he couldn't help himself. His hand grazed over her hip, and she spun around to face him.

"Spike!" She didn't sound angry. More…surprised than anything. Then she smiled.

"Hello beautiful," he murmured, loud enough that she could hear over the blaring music, but soft enough that only she could hear it. And again, "dance with me." She looked over toward her friends, deciding they were lost in their own little worlds with their respective partners, and she shrugged. What the hell? Just because she was, for all they knew, single, didn't mean she couldn't dance with a vampire.

She led him out to the dance floor and draped her arms around his neck. Smiling, she cocked her head to the side.

"I didn't know vampires liked slow dancing."

"When it's with a hot, young Slayer like you, it's another story." He was practically purring. She laughed a little and shook her head.

"What do you think? Do we look like a couple, or do we look like friends dancing?"

"Who says we're either?" She made a face.

"Tease," he murmured.

"Shh," she blushed. She looked out the corner of her eye and saw Willow and Tara watching them questioningly, and when she turned her head, she gave them a little shrug and a smile, and Tara smiled, before she lifted her hand to Willow's cheek, leaning in to distract her with a kiss. Spike felt the urge to do the same, but Buffy shook her head.

"Don't even think about it."

"What?"

"You know what." She let out a little sigh, wishing she could kiss him right now. But, she wasn't ready to share her relationship with him with the rest of the group. This was almost pushing it, but she figured she'd take any opportunity to see Spike try to dance. Actually, he wasn't half bad, and she didn't know why that surprised her. In over a hundred years of roaming the planet, he surely picked up some dancing lessons somewhere. Maybe he ate a dance instructor and something stuck.

Buffy looked over toward Dawn and her dance partner to make sure they were misbehaving, but Dawn was too busy watching her sister to pay much attention to the guy with his arms around her waist. Dawn's face was plastered with a knowing smile, and Buffy rolled her eyes at her. Dawn just shrugged and winked at Buffy, who blushed.

She had never really been a blusher. Damn vampire, she thought, and looked up at him through her lashes.

"Wanna cut out of here, pet?"

"I can't."

"C'mon. They won't notice."

"Maybe not during the slow songs, but…"

"I need you," he murmured, starting to push a little, his hands moving along her waist, his fingers skimming over the skin just above the waist of her skirt. She felt those familiar tingles rushing through her to her core.

Buffy looked up again, seeing a none-too-happy Xander dancing with Anya. Anya said something in his ear, and he turned his attention back to her. Looking back at the vampire who was doing things to her without barely touching her, she bit her lower lip. She considered it for a minute, before she nodded. She leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Meet me outside. Ten minutes." A gleam flickered in his eyes, and he nodded, letting her go. They walked off in opposite directions. Buffy moved to the table, and he exited the club, presumably not to return.

Before the slow song was over, Xander made his way to the table.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"Dancing…with Spike?"

"Come on, Xander. I didn't have anybody else to dance with."

"Yeah! But…but Spike?"

"Give him a break," Buffy warned. "When's the last time he did something to…"

"He's a vampire. Enough reason to hate him for more than one lifetime," Xander pointed out. Buffy sighed and shook her head.

"Xander! The song isn't over yet," Anya pouted, making her way to the table.

"Sorry, sweetie," he said quietly. "I'll dance the next ten songs with you, alright? I'm just talking to Buffy for a minute."

"She looks annoyed. I don't think she wants to talk to you," Anya said matter-of-factly. Buffy raised an eyebrow. For once, Anya said something right. But, she shook her head.

"It's ok, Anya. He was just asking me why I was dancing with Spike."

"Why were you dancing with Spike?" she wondered. Buffy gave an exhausted sigh.

"Who else was I gonna dance with? We're friends…he…"

"You can't be friends with a vampire, Buff. You tried it with Angel, and look where…"

"Can we _not_ talk about this?" Buffy asked. "Can't we just try to have some fun?" Xander flinched.

"You're right. I'm sorry, Buff. I didn't think…I know it's your first time here since…since everything. I didn't think." _He thinks I'm dancing with Spike because I'm not myself_, she assumed.

"Don't worry about it," Buffy said with a shrug. "I'm gonna go get some fresh air. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Want me to come with?" Xander asked.

"No! No…I'm fine. I'll be back in five minutes." _Or ten. Or twenty_, her mind hoped. And she was off, moving through the crowd, trying not to step on feet or knock drinks out of unsuspecting hands. And finally, she made it outside the doors, her eyes scanning the crowd outside. A line of impatient partiers were eager to get into the club. Where was he?

She walked off away from the crowd, knowing he'd be lurking in the shadows, waiting for her.

"Spike?" she whispered, turning the corner, finding the dark, cool alley filled the echoes of rustling leaves on the pavement. She turned around, only to feel two strong arms grab her, turning her around. She gasped, but immediately relaxed when she saw him, the moonlight shining down on him, making his blue eyes almost glow. How was it possible she could see them so well in the dark?

Her mouth was dry again, and before she had the chance to speak, he pulled her to him in a crushing kiss. She gasped against his kiss, but surrendered to him, letting him pull her into the shadows. She felt her back hit the brick wall of the side of an old building, and she moaned, as he began to grind into her. He was so hard, and the moment his hands crept up her skirt, pulling at her panties, she was wet; ready for him.

"Do you want me?" he growled against her lips, as her fingers fumbled with his belt.

"Mmm…Spike. Yesssss…." She felt his tongue and his lips on her neck, and she pulled her arms around his neck. He swiftly grabbed her behind the legs, pulling them up. They wrapped around his waist, and Buffy freed his straining cock from the confines of his jeans, guiding him inside of her in one fluid motion.

"Fuck," he groaned into her mouth, as he guided her up and down, listening to her suppress her own cries through clenched teeth and pursed lips. "So tight…so fucking tight, Slayer."

"Spike. God…Spike! Unh…oh…mmm…." A gaggle of giggling girls passed by, and Spike carried her further into the alley, pressing her back against the wall when they were further into the shadows, and he sought her lips with his own. "Unh….mmmm….Spike…I'm…oh God…YES!" Her cries were getting louder now, and it was only a matter of time before somebody heard and came to check out the situation.

But, as her pulsating inner walls began to strangle his cock, he let go, filling her with his seed, as she rode out the wave of an amazing orgasm. In minutes, he was lifting her off of his softening cock and stuffing himself back into his pants, while she pulled up her panties.

"You're terrible," she hissed, though clearly not a bit angry.

"They don't call me the Big Bad for nothing, pet," he grinned, licking his lips.

"_You_ call yourself the Big Bad," she scoffed. "Get over yourself." He pushed her back against the wall.

"Take it back," he teased.

"If I don't?" she asked, batting her eyes innocently, knowing he could see her quite clearly in the darkness.

"Buffy?" came a worried voice from nearby.

"Willow," Buffy hissed. She and Spike quickly parted, and she took the lead heading out of the alley.

"Wil?" Buffy came rushing out of the darkness to find her friend standing there with a concerned looking Xander.

"Are you ok? Xander said you came out to get some air…"

"Yeah," Buffy said slowly. "I did." She noticed her friends staring at her strangely, and she realized she probably looked a bit disheveled. Not missing a beat, she cleared her throat. "There was a demon in the alley. Come on, let's go back inside." Xander and Willow exchanged glances but ultimately followed their friend back into the club.

Once back inside The Bronze, she made her way back to the bar to get another coke and was surprised to find Spike sitting there already having a drink. How had he gotten back so fast?

He could smell her halfway across the room, and he smirked a little when she sat down next to him and ordered her drink.

"I told them there was a demon," she muttered.

"Yeah? Did you take care of him?" Buffy felt her heart still hammering against her chest.

"Yeah. I took care of him."

"Lucky bastard," he muttered, taking a sip. Buffy took her own drink in her hands, took a long, refreshing gulp, and then smiled, satisfied.

***

"So? Who was he?" Buffy asked, as she and her sister sat in the kitchen sharing the rest of a pint of double fudge mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"Who?" Dawn asked innocently.

"Who?!" Buffy scoffed. "Mr. 'Can't Keep His Hands to Himself.' He was all over you! I so don't approve."

"Come on! He was not! No more than Spike was all over you!"

"That's different!" It came out before she could stop herself.

"Because he's your boyfriend."

"He is not!"

"Then what is it?"

"Mind your own business."

"You know, I thought you were a cool big sister, but now I'm starting to think you're pretty lame. Will you just tell me? I already know! I just wanna hear it from you."

"Dawn…" Buffy's voice was turning more serious.

"Come on. Tara and Willow are sleeping, and Spike's out smoking. Nobody's gonna hear but me. Please? You know I'm on your side, so you can at least practice revealing the big news on me." She had a point.

"You're too young to hear this."

"Oh, so there's sex stuff! I knew it." Dawn smiled smugly.

"If you say a word…"

"Buffy, I have my own life, you know. I have more to worry about than who your stupid boyfriend is."

"Then why do you wanna hear this?"

"Ugh! Just tell me!"

"Alright," Buffy replied, holding her hands up. "If you mention a word of this to anyone, I will kill you. I'm serious. I will make it slow and painful."

"I swear. Now spill." Buffy took another bite of ice cream, and then she paused for a few seconds to swallow, making Dawn bounce impatiently on the other side of the counter.

"Alright...alright." She cleared her throat. "Yes. We're…a couple."

"Oh my God, I knew it!"

"Shh!"

"So you guys are actually having…"

"Now _that's_ none of your business!"

"Oh come on!"

"Nope. Not telling you. But we're waiting a while to tell anybody else…just to see what happens."

"How long have you guys been…you know…together?"

"Really just a couple of days. I started feeling things for him when he came back, and…well, one thing led to another, and here we are."

"Yeah…wow. I'm jealous."

"Yeah? Well, it'll happen for you someday. When you're a little old lady, and I'm dead and buried…permanently, not just temporarily. Because I refuse to let my little sister…"

"Whoa, Buffy, chill. I'm not even thinking about sex right now."

"Yeah, right. When I was your age…" She cleared her throat. "You know what? Let's go watch Disney movies and drink chocolate milk." Dawn rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to bed. You're ridiculous."

"Love you too, Dawn," Buffy smirked.

"Love you," Dawn called back, as she left the kitchen and hurried up the stairs. Buffy sighed, taking another spoonful of the ice cream into her mouth. When she felt his hands on her hips, she smiled, spinning to lean against the counter and look into his eyes.

"Want some?"

"Depends on what you're talking about," he said with a cocked eyebrow. Buffy reached over, dipping her finger into the ice cream tub. She brought it to his lips, and keeping his eyes on her, he took her wrist and sucked on her finger, taking it in and out of his mouth a few times, devouring the sweet treat she'd offered to him. She trembled as his eyes darkened, and he replaced her finger with her lips, kissing her hungrily.

"Mmm," she moaned into his mouth, tasting the sweet, melted ice cream on his tongue. He pressed her harder against the counter, and she began to squirm, breaking free of their kiss. "Mmm…ok. Alright." She laughed. She pushed on his chest, and he backed off. She smiled, taking one last bite of ice cream before stuffing the nearly empty container back in the freezer.

"I thought you birds only ate the really unhealthy stuff after a bad break up."

"Mmm…it's good for just about any occasion," Buffy commented with a shrug. "Just so you know, Dawn knows about us." Spike eyed her.

"And…that doesn't bother you?"

"Why would it? She's my sister?"

"Where's Buffy, and what have you done with her?"

"Give me a break, Spike. She's already kinda known all along anyway. She's not going to tell anybody, because I threatened to murder her."

"Oh. Well, looks like our secret's safe then." He smiled, pulling her close again. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, before she wrenched herself away from him.

"Where are you going?"

"There's a cot in the basement with our names on it." Spike definitely liked the sound of that. He half-ran, half skipped to the door, and Buffy had to suppress a shriek, knowing he was in full pursuit. As soon as the basement door shut behind them, the vampire became the hunter, and the Slayer became the hunted.

***

When she slipped back upstairs to her room before sunrise, Buffy felt lighter than air. It was amazing how feelings changed so quickly. She knew that the feelings she had right now were new. She was having fun, and she wondered if those happy feelings she had were making her think she was falling for him. She knew she could. Easily. That was obvious now. But, the idea of falling in love was frightening. Especially when it was with someone she never expected she'd find a piece of herself in. He was part of her, and she knew he always would be. She just hoped she wasn't confusing him or herself.

Sex…good sex was fun. It made her want to be with him. Made her think about him. Made her see the good he actually had in him, rather than the evil she'd been programmed to see from the moment she'd been called as the Slayer. He wasn't as bad as she'd thought, but was she really falling for him, or was it just a reaction to, well, really, _really_ good sex?

Sighing, she slumped down on her bed and crawled under the covers, wishing he was there with her to hold her until she fell asleep.

* * *

_Let me know what you thought of the chapter! Thanks!_


	11. Kinda Dating

Chapter 11: Kinda Dating

The days passed, and soon, a month had gone by, and Buffy was feeling much more like her old self than usual. Except for the fact that her old self wouldn't have let her sneak down to the basement each night with Spike for a little after hours…training. Nor would her old self have let him sneak into her room on occasion, especially since neither one of them were particularly quiet in the throes of passion. Despite the fact that Dawn knew her sister and Spike were secretly a couple, Buffy didn't exactly want her sister or the rest of the household to hear their escapades. Their wild, raw, completely erotic escapades.

Everything had pretty much gotten back to normal. Giles was officially moved back to Sunnydale, Xander and Anya were making wedding plans, and Willow and Tara were happy and in love, well, when they weren't privately arguing about Willow's increasing use of spells. Buffy heard them arguing until three in the morning once. That was a long night. A long night of waiting for the house to grow silent so she could slip down to the basement and be with him.

It was mid November, and the air was significantly cooler than it had been a month ago. Dawn was breaking out the light sweaters, and Buffy was pulling on her heavier leather coat when it came to patrolling.

Lucky for her, she was in better shape than ever, thanks to training with Giles. She hadn't gotten hurt once since the night before Giles' return, and it was nice to know she could go out, do her job, and come home with plenty of time to spend distressing with the only man who'd ever been able to make her…relax so many times in the course of a half hour.

Money was growing thin, and Buffy knew she was going to have to go out there and get a job before too long. She had no qualifications, unless being able to stake a vampire in 3.2 seconds was worthy of putting on a resume.

"What do you think of light blue for the bridesmaid's dresses?" Anya asked thoughtfully as she thumbed through a bridal magazine. Buffy and Willow looked at each other.

"Light blue's pretty," Buffy said quietly, "but I'm not sure how good it would look on all of us." She looked at Willow with the flame-colored hair.

"Ugh. Willow, won't you let us dye your hair for the wedding?"

"Yes, because that's the gift I want to give you for your wedding. My fried roots," Willow said bitterly. Buffy raised an eyebrow at her tone. Well, she wasn't really surprised that Willow's mood wasn't so fantastic, considering last night, she'd overheard Tara telling Willow that if she continued using spells for the little things, she was going to move out.

Buffy thought about it. Willow had been using her powers quite a bit lately. She'd come home late one night last week and whipped out an amazingly tasty meal with just the flick of a finger and a few foreign words. She'd also used her powers to help her study for a test, which she passed with flying colors. Sure, it seemed harmless, but Buffy could understand where Tara was coming from. It was a little ridiculous, especially since Willow used to be happy to study all by her lonesome without any help from a spell.

"Well, green might work better," Anya said with a shrug. "Buffy has green eyes, and Willow…yeah, I think green."

"Whatever you want, Anya. It's your wedding," Willow said with a shrug, turning back to her computer screen. "I'm never gonna get this done."

"You're right. It is my wedding. Why am I asking for opinions? I should take my own advice and get whatever I want. That's what human women do, right? They become similar to demons when it comes to wedding planning. Except demons don't get quite as pushy at a bridal outlet." Anya was in her own little ex-demon world now, and Buffy took the opportunity to get some solo training in while Willow worked on typing up a paper that was due tomorrow.

Buffy shut the door to the training room and started out easy with a hundred sit ups and crunchers, and then she began her stretches. After a few minutes of good stretches, she got up and moved toward the punching bag. Only about halfway through her sixth swivel-kick did she feel his eyes on her from the shadows near the far wall of the building. She stopped, turning to see him leaning against the wall, a smirk on his face.

"How long have you been here?" she asked casually, hands on her hips, sauntering across the room, her hips swinging a little more than usual. She saw him smile in approval.

"Snuck in through the tunnels," he admitted. "Don't mind me. I like to watch you train."

"What are you doing? Here? I thought you had a poker game with…who was it?"

"Clem and Erg."

"OK, the fact that you know somebody named Erg is enough to give me the creeps." Spike chuckled a little. "How'd it go?"

"Well, why don't you come out with me tonight, and I can show you?"

"What?"

"I won. Three hundred dollars."

"Wow. That's…impressive."

"You really should let me show you how to play. You might win enough to keep the bills paid another month or so."

"I'd rather earn my money the normal…legal way, thanks."

"Alright then," he shrugged. "You're missing out."

"I think I'll live," Buffy replied, stretching out a little more.

"Go out with me tonight."

"What?"

"C'mon. I've got money to spend. Let me take you…"

"On a date?"

"Yeah…that's generally what it's called with a man takes his lady out for drinks, dinner."

"You don't eat."

"C'mon, Slayer. I'm trying to be romantic." Buffy couldn't help but giggle at that. She moved toward him. "Let me take my girl out for a night on the town."

"What part of town are we talking about? _Your_ part of town? Something tells me your buddies at the demon bar wouldn't be so thrilled that you brought your Slayer girlfriend." Spike raised his eyes at the term she'd just used.

"Girlfriend? Is that what you are to me?" Buffy rolled her eyes and closed the gap, pulling her arms around his neck, as his hands rested on her waist. "That's what you said, right?"

"Mmm…yeah," she said with a shrug.

"Your friends out just outside that door, luv," he warned, as she stood on her tiptoes to shut him up with a kiss.

"Mmm...hmm…" She pulled back, and he eyed her warily.

"What's going on? You're Buffy, aren't you? Do I need to check you for a computer chip and…"

"Shut up," Buffy said, swatting his arm. "Of course it's me." He felt as if the room was spinning. She'd never referred to herself as his girlfriend, but that's basically what she was, even if they hadn't exactly come out to her friends about it.

"So…you wanna tell me what's got you calling yourself my girlfriend and not punching me in the face when I suggest taking you out on a date?" He watched as he leaned back a little, cocking her head to the side like he often did. Her fingers laced together behind his neck.

"Maybe because I'm tired of sneaking around."

"What?"

"Well, we kept things quiet just to see what happened, and so far, well, I'm enjoying myself. And I _know_ you are, Mr. Sneaks In My Room At Three In the Morning."

"Did you have a stroke?" he asked, eyes narrowing. "Or did something hit you in the head? I'm not entirely convinced that you're really you right now." Buffy rolled her eyes and leaned into him again, her lips pressing against his, her tongue flicking out to tease him, as her fingers traced seductive trails down his neck and his chest.

"Convinced yet?"

"Mmm…might take a bit more…" Buffy gave his lower lip a little bite. "Ow! Bugger….Alright, woman! You're the bloody Slayer." Buffy smiled, satisfied. "So…you want to tell your friends about us?"

"The other night, I lay in bed listening to Willow and Tara argue for hours, and all I wanted to do was go downstairs, but I couldn't without somebody hearing me. I might be Chosen, but they have ears like you wouldn't believe." Spike smirked a little. "It's getting harder to sneak around. Dawn already knows. I'm not sure my friends will be as accepting as she was, but I'm sick of having to wait until the middle of the night to have sex with my boyfriend." She placed her hands on her hips, stomping her foot in frustration. "I wanna have sex at home in the middle of the day without having to sneak around, like normal people." Spike chuckled, shaking his head.

"Alright, pet. How do you suggest we tell them? Might want to tell the Watcher in a public place where there are witnesses. Preferably, for me, at night. If he wants to kill me, I'd rather have the advantage, pet."

"He's not gonna try to kill you."

"Oh, no? He's the closest thing you've had to a father in years, and you're the daughter he never had. You can't tell me he ever approved of any of your boyfriends." He watched her shift on her feet.

"He didn't mind Riley that much," she said quietly. "But he didn't throw a party when I started dating him either."

"See. Now, I'm thinking a bar with no wooden tables. Walls made of cement. No wooden fixtures. Not even toothpicks in the appetizers. Sound good?"

"Wow. I think I've finally found something that scares the Big, Bad Spike."

"I'm not afraid of the old man," he argued. "But I don't think he's as willing to keep me from turning to dust as you are, luv." Buffy shook her head, standing on her tiptoes and kissing him once more.

"We'll tell them all at the same time. We can shock them all at the same time."

"No offense, luv, but those friends of yours are pretty dense. If they paid any attention at all…they'd have picked up on something weeks ago."

"Well, they didn't. And we're telling them."

"Tonight?"

"Well…we could do that, or you could take your girl out for a night on the town." She watched the smile curl up on his lips.

"We'll tell them tomorrow, then." Buffy nodded in agreement and kissed him again, this time, letting him deepen it. The door opened suddenly, and Buffy and Spike both turned to see Dawn walking in. She made a face, closing the door behind her.

"Get a room," she complained.

"Dawn! What are you doing here?"

"Hello? You promised to help me pick out an outfit for the dance Friday night."

"Oh," Buffy murmured. "I forgot. Um, alright, sure." Buffy turned back to Spike, blushing a little. She leaned in, whispering. "We'll go after patrol tonight."

"Sounds like a plan, luv," he whispered. He leaned down, pressing his lips against hers, tasting the sweetness of her kiss. Both of them heard Dawn audibly force a gag, and they broke apart. Buffy shot a glare in her sister's direction.

"See you tonight, Spike."

"Tonight," he said with a nod, watching her walk away.

***

"So he actually asked you on a date?" Dawn asked, as they walked around the mall. Dawn had already found her dress for the dance, but now they were taking their own sweet time window shopping.

"I guess it'll be a nice change from patrolling. Of course, we're still doing that tonight." Buffy shrugged. "And…big news."

"You're pregnant!"

"What?! No!" Buffy exclaimed. "Vampires can't make babies…I don't think. I hope not, because we haven't exactly thought about having to be care…oh, why am I telling you that?" Dawn rolled her eyes and shrugged.

"Well, you might want to look into that, because it's not like that many women have had sex with a vampire and lived to tell about it. Well, except for you, that is."

"Thanks," Buffy muttered. "_Anyway_, the big news is that we're telling everyone tomorrow."

"Really?" Dawn asked.

"Yep. No more secret keeping."

"Why tomorrow?"

"Well, things have been going alright, and we're sick of sneaking around. So…"

"Xander's gonna freak. You do realize that, don't you?"

"Well, it's not really his business. He's sleeping with Anya, and we all know that not everybody's crazy about her. I mean, she used to be a demon, and she was evil. I mean, vengeance demon, hello? She was a demon for a lot longer than Spike, so she's probably killed way more people." Buffy furrowed her brows. "Did I just say that?"

"Yeah. You really did just compare how many people your boyfriend has killed with the number Xander's girlfriend has."

"This might be the most disturbing conversation ever."

"So? What are you gonna wear tonight?" Buffy smiled at her sister, grateful for the change in subject.

"I don't know. Whatever I wear to patrol in."

"Oh, come on! It's a date. It's special!"

"Why am I taking dating advice from a fifteen year old?"

"I'm just saying…he wants to take you out. Wouldn't it feel nice to get something new…something he'd really, really like?" Buffy couldn't deny the fact that that sounded great, but she shook her head.

"We can't afford that right now, Dawnie." Dawn sighed, her shoulder slumping, but she grinned evilly at her sister a moment later.

"It's not like he's gonna really be that interested in what you're wearing…it's what's under_neath_ that counts, right?"

"Dawn!" Buffy yelped, as her sister responded with a fit of giggles. "That is so wrong." _But oh…so right._ Dawn sobered up for only a second before cracking once again. Buffy caught on to her sister's contagious giggles, and the two spent the rest of the afternoon talking about each of their upcoming dates: Buffy's with Spike and Dawn's with, as Buffy referred to him, Mr. 'Can't Keep His Hands to Himself.'"

***

Buffy stared at the clock, as she put away research books in the back of the shop. Only another hour or so before she headed out to patrol, and she was certain it would be a quick one tonight. Though, she had no idea what Spike had in mind for their date, but the thought of not having to hide after tomorrow was a relief. However, she wasn't certain how things would be between her and her friends once the news was out. She figured Tara would be very supportive and that Willow would also be supportive, if not a bit cautious and overprotective. Xander, on the other hand, would be shocked and probably disgusted, not to mention a hypocrite, considering the woman he was about to marry used to be a demon, and was certainly far from being a normal human even now.

"Giles?" Buffy asked, moving toward the research table. He looked up from his reading material. "Any word from the Council about a new Slayer?"

"I'm afraid not. The Council doesn't appear to be very cooperative…"

"Since I stooped cooperating," Buffy said with a slow nod.

"I wouldn't worry. If there is another Slayer out there…"

"She'll need to be trained," Buffy insisted.

"Or maybe she'll hate the whole Chosen thing, and she'll ignore it."

"It's kind of hard to ignore demons and vampires coming at you every single day. Believe me. I tried. They find you. It never fails." She made a face. "I don't see why nobody else thinks this is a big deal."

"I honestly don't know what you're worried about, Buffy. If another Slayer was Chosen when you died, which we aren't certain even happened, we'll surely hear about her eventually, when the Council is desperate enough to ask for our help." Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

"I guess."

"I was reading about locator spells to track Slayers. Even _potential_ Slayers," Willow said eagerly. All eyes turned on her. "It's true. I guess some watchers hire powerful witches to help them track down potential Slayers to train just in case something happens to the current Slayer." Buffy shivered.

"Well, that makes me feel all good and tingly." Of course, with a job like hers, one wasn't exactly going to be handed life insurance. She'd once read about Slayers being killed within hours of being called. It wasn't a pretty job, but somebody had to do it.

"Well, they do want to prepare them in case one _is_ called. Maybe she already had a watcher, and she's trained. I could do a locater spell and find her if it'd make you feel better."

"Do you even know how?" Tara asked a bit sharply. Willow turned at the tone of her voice.

"Well, no, but I could learn. There are a few translations I need to work out, and a few supplies I'd need."

"I don't think that'll be necessary," Giles said with a shake of his head. "The only Slayer we need to focus on right now is the one that's standing in this very room. We just want to make sure we keep her safe, so I think it'd be better if we all keep researching. I believe it's almost the season for some species to start laying eggs."

"Demon eggs," Xander shuddered. "Sounds all cute and fluffy, but when they hatch, watch out!"

"Yeah. Getting demon slime out of leather isn't of the fun," Buffy muttered.

"Speaking of clothes…" Xander said, eyeing Buffy's ensemble. "Aren't you a little dressed up to go hunting vampires?"

"What? This?" Buffy looked down at the black, leather pants that went with the shimmery red and black halter tied around her neck. To top it all off, she was wearing heels.

"Yeah, Buff," Willow said slowly. "You look like you're getting ready to go on a date, not crack demon skulls."

"I'm not going on a date," Buffy said immediately, getting an eye roll from Dawn, followed by a mouthed 'smooth' from her lips. "All of my patrol clothes are dirty." That wasn't a lie. She hadn't done laundry in over a week.

"Isn't that a new outfit?"

"Oh…I…well, yeah," Buffy said slowly.

"That's it. I knew it! Who's the guy?" Xander asked with a knowing smile. "I'm surprised at you, Buff, keeping him a secret like that. What? Aren't we good enough to meet him? Or are you embarrassed by him?" Buffy felt her cheeks grow hot.

"I'm not…shut up, Xander," she finally said, crossing her arms.

"So," Willow said teasingly, "when do we get to meet his mystery..." Suddenly, a look crossed her face, and it wasn't one that Buffy was particularly fond of. It was one of those realizations, as if something had just clicked into place. And at that moment, in Willow's head, it had. Her mind flashed back to watching Buffy willingly go out on the dance floor with Spike at the Bronze. Then there were the nights she could swear she heard more than one voice in Buffy's room, but chalked it up to the TV in Dawn's room. "Oh my God…" Buffy's eyes widened.

"Wil?"

"It's…" Buffy's eyes widened.

"Uh…hey, Wil! Can you help me with something in the back?" Willow immediately jerked her friend out into the training room, slamming the door shut in a non-so-discreet manner. Willow just stared at her friend, certain moments coming back to her, making so much more sense now.

"Buffy…you and _Spike?!_"

"Shh!"

"Why are you shushing me?"

"Because I haven't told anybody, obviously!" Buffy hissed. "I was gonna tell you all tomorrow."

"How long…"

"Almost a month," Buffy considered. "Wil, I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know the right way, and I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into."

"But _Spike? _Buffy, he's a vampire."

"Yeah, I kinda noticed that," Buffy said with wide eyes. "He's…he's not…well, you spent more time with him this summer, seeing as I was _dead_. He's not evil, Wil."

"No, I guess not," Willow considered. "But…but you _hated_ him. Now you're…what?"

"I'm kinda dating him."

"Kinda dating him? What does that mean? Are you kinda dating him like…like I don't know…like Dawnie's kinda dating that guy you hate, or are you kinda dating him like…I'm dating Tara." Buffy caught the tone of her voice and all that it implied.

"The second one," Buffy squeaked out.

"You're…you're…"

"Yeah, Wil, I'm…sleeping with him." She squirmed a little at that. It wasn't so much sleeping as it was insane, passionate sex, followed by a little snuggling and then going their separate ways as to not create any suspicion.

"Wow," Willow breathed. "Wow."

"Yeah."

"So…so you two…wow."

"You said that already," Buffy said with a half smile.

"Buff, I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine. I can take care of myself. Besides, he's all chipped and everything."

"And if he wasn't?" Buffy flinched at that but shrugged her shoulders.

"Wil, I'm not worried. I know what I'm doing." She let out a little sigh. "He might not have a soul, but he's far from evil."

"Don't let Giles hear you say that," Willow said with wide eyes.

"Yeah…well, I'm telling everyone else tomorrow. That was the plan, and that's what I'm sticking to."

"Giles…"

"Giles isn't my father, Wil. He's my Watcher, and I know he's gonna hate the idea. I'm sure Xander will too. But, it's my life."

"I'm pretty sure they'll see it more like your death."

"Probably," Buffy muttered.

"Buffy, this is big news," Willow said as if she were running out of breath, her hand clutching her chest.

"Wil, I'm not asking that you all be Spike's best friends, but I'm asking for a little support here. He's been…I…I don't know…he's been amazing since I came back. I know it sounds crazy. I don't know what'll happen…if it'll last. But…"

"You love him."

"I…I don't know," Buffy whispered.

"You care about him?"

"Yeah. I do. A lot. And I know he loves me, which, yeah, I know, sounds impossible. But he does, in his own way."

"Wow, Buff," Willow whispered again. "You…you, uh, you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Yes, Wil." Buffy rolled her eyes. "Just don't say anything to the others." She furrowed her brows. "If you want to tell Tara, you can, but…I'm not sure she'll be surprised."

"Why's that?"

"I don't know. Just…she looks at me sometimes…like she knows something. But it's nothing judgmental. It's…just…like she knows."

"Hmm," Willow said, secretly a tad disappointed that Tara had never even began to mention anything about a possibility of Spike and Buffy being together to her.

"Just…don't mention anything to Xander and Giles. Not until I have the chance to talk to them. I just can't do it tonight."

"Ok," Willow nodded, her voice still dripping with concern.

"Wil," Buffy breathed, placing her hands on her friend's tense shoulders, "trust me. I know what I'm doing."

"I know. I…I just don't wanna see you get hurt. You've been through enough." With a sad sigh, Buffy hugged her friend, closing her eyes and shaking her head slightly.

"Don't worry. I'm gonna be fine."

* * *

_Let me know what you thought of the chapter! Thanks!_


	12. Playing with Fire

Chapter 12: Playing with Fire

Two hours, three beheaded demons, and a staked vampire later, Buffy and Spike were sitting in an empty movie theater, as the glow of the movie previews washed over them. Buffy eyed Spike curiously.

"What is it, pet?" He suppressed the smile that threatened to pull at the corners of his mouth. He knew it was killing her to figure out why he'd brought her here of all places. She was probably disappointed, but she didn't have to know quite yet that it was all part of the plan.

"Well…I'm just wondering why you decided to come to this movie. It's a girly movie. And...it hasn't gotten any good reviews." She watched as he settled in against the seat, his heat tilting back a little.

"Which means nobody's coming to see it." Buffy caught the seductive tone in his voice, and she couldn't help but smile. She looked around. Despite the fact that they had their pick of every seat in the theater, they'd settled into the very back corner. Spike had no intention of watching a movie with her.

"So…this is all for some cheap thrill of getting your rocks off in a movie theater."

"No," he said slowly, grabbing her and lifting her into his lap, hands secure around her hips. "It's about getting _you_ off in a movie theater…"

"I don't buy the whole selfless thing," Buffy said with a roll of her eyes.

"Yeah? Well…I wouldn't mind a little…reciprocity."

"Ooh, big word. Did you learn that in Bad Date Etiquette 101?" Spike could tell if she wasn't trying to trust him, she'd have punched him in the head as soon as he'd dragged her in here.

"Alright, so I lied. It's not as public as you probably would've thought…but trust me; it's not the end of our evening."

"Ohh, it had better be worth it. You do know that first dates are supposed to make good impressions."

"Yeah, but it doesn't count when the first date comes after a solid month of shagging at least twice a day."

"Pig," she muttered, as her arms circled around his neck.

"Oink, oink, baby," he smirked, one hand trailing up her leather-clad thigh while the other moved to her neck, pulling her down to crush her lips against his.

***

"Well…that was…" She pressed her forehead against his, her breath still coming in ragged gasps. His hands tightened around her waist, and he leaned in, kissing her clumsily, before he pulled back and smoothed her hair down, looking into her sparkling, green eyes.

"Yeah," he murmured, still inside of her, not quite ready to let her go.

"Never did _that_ in public before."

"Ah, but you're forgetting the night at the club."

"Oh, right. The alley. I forgot," she teased.

"Please!" Spike scoffed. "That was very memorable."

"Get over yourself," she laughed, kissing him again. She held onto his shoulders and slid off of him, quickly pulling her underwear and pants up. She shook her head. As much as she enjoyed the sex, she was a little disappointed, because she was hoping for something a little more….oh, romantic. Of course, Spike wasn't exactly a flowers and hearts kind of guy, though he could be quite romantic with his words when he wanted to be. Still, part of her longed for a little gesture that spoke deeper than kinky sex in an empty movie theater.

"C'mon, pet. Let's get out of here."

"Where to next? The adult video store?"

"Well, now that you've reminded me…" He ducked a slap. "Kidding, luv! Don't get your knickers in a twist."

"You've already twisted them enough for one night," she smirked. Spike leaned in, his lips a breath apart from hers.

"Just trust me, Buffy," he encouraged, his bright, blue eyes weakening her knees. She just nodded, and he took her hand, pulling her up and out of the theater. On to phase 2 of their date. She could only imagine what he had planned. While Spike had a twisted sense of humor, she knew that despite his lack of a soul, he could think up some amazing things when he wanted to.

It was a bit awkward walking down the street now, after they'd just made a very private, very interesting memory together. Spike watched her out of the corner of his eye, seeing the way she clenched her fists and then relaxed them, trying to focus on something besides her curiosity as they went to their next stop.

"Did you stop to think that maybe I was distracting you with the movie theater?" he finally asked, lighting a cigarette. He took a slow drag and released the stream out into the cool, night air. Buffy looked over at him.

"I guess I was just expecting something else. I mean, it wasn't anything different than we normally do, except it was in a movie theater," she blushed. Then, she rolled her eyes. "I don't know why I was expecting anything different. You _are _a sex-craved vampire, after all." Spike chuckled, shaking his head.

"That was just for fun," he teased. "The real date's actually much better. Besides, who're you calling sex-crazed, pet? I seem to recall you doing a fair share of waking me in the middle of the night so you could get your jollies."

"Jollies?" Buffy asked, a grin appearing, her eyes twinkling in amusement. Spike shrugged his shoulders. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry I'm giving you a hard time. You don't have to do anything special for me just because we're…officially…dating."

"I just heard an apology from the Slayer. What's next?" he wondered with faux-astonishment.

"Well, don't get used to it. It doesn't happen very often."

"I'll keep that in mind, luv." He reached out, his fingers brushing against hers. She felt a tingle go up her arm, and she shivered. She realized what he was trying to do, and she couldn't help but smile inwardly. She reached out, curling her fingers around his. _If the Council could see me now…what would they think? Holding hands with a vampire. _

***

"Willow, what's wrong with you?" Xander asked, as Willow thumbed distractedly through a spell book.

"Huh?"

"You know something. It's about Buffy's date, isn't it?"

"What? I don't know anything?" It came out more as a question, and Xander cocked an eyebrow.

"Wil, for somebody who doesn't know anything, you sure do look like you're busting to talk about something."

"I'm not!" she exclaimed. "I'm just...I'm tired. I'm gonna call it a night. Tara?" Tara looked up at her suspiciously. "I wanna go home. Let's…let's go." Dawn eyed Willow. She knew something. Judging from the way Buffy dragged her into the back room, she knew something other people weren't supposed to know yet. Dawn's eyes widened, but the moment Xander looked her direction, she looked away, pretending to read a book.

"Wil, if you want to talk about it…"

"I don't!" she squeaked. "I…Tara, let's go home." Willow stood quickly, and Tara followed after.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Dawn called, rushing out to follow them home. Xander blinked a few times, trying to discern what had just happened.

"What the Hell was that?"

"I think she's avoiding you." Anya said with a shrug, going back to her bridal magazine. Xander's jaw hung open as he stared at his future wife, Ms. Obvious. He decided that whatever it was that Willow knew, he'd learn about it eventually. Nobody was that good at keeping secrets, right?

***

"You know, don't you?!" Dawn squealed, as they made their way closer to home.

"Know what?" Tara wondered..

"You know?!" Willow asked. "About Buffy and…"

"Yes!" Dawn exclaimed.

"Whoa!" Tara exclaimed, her voice reaching a volume it rarely ever came close to. She took a deep breath. "What's going on?" Dawn glanced wonderingly at Willow. While Willow looked more reserved, Dawn looked as if she was about to bust out into a happy dance.

"Buffy and Spike are dating," Willow finally answered.

"What?" Tara asked slowly.

"Willow!" Dawn exclaimed.

"Buffy told me I could tell Tara, because she thought she already kind of knew." Both turned to the other witch, who looked a little surprised, but not as surprised as most would be by the news.

"I…I knew they were closer than before. I knew something was going on, but I didn't really think it was my business."

"Ugh, are you kidding? This is huge!" Dawn exclaimed. "They're dating! They're…well…I don't wanna think about…that." She made a face.

"Dawnie," Tara said quietly, "how long have you known?"

"Not long. I'm glad she told me first though, because a.) I already knew, and b.) I would have so not forgiven her if she hadn't."

"This is…wow, I mean, she dated Angel, but I never thought she'd date Spike. So when she told me, I guess…I don't know. She says she knows what she's doing," Willow said with a shrug. Tara glanced at her girlfriend. "I wish she would've told me sooner."

"Maybe she was worried about what you would say. People tend to want what they think is best for the people they love. Maybe Buffy is happy with Spike. That's a possibility. I mean, I haven't known him as long as you guys have, but he seems like he's changed a lot since I met him."

"He has. Spike's great," Dawn explained. "Sure, he might not have a soul, but he has a chip, and even if he didn't have the chip, he'd still love her. I mean, a chip doesn't do that. A chip just gives him a migraine when he hurts a human."

"She has a point," Willow muttered. "But it's still dangerous. I mean, look what happened when she slept with Angel. He lost his soul, and people died."

"Well, Spike's been without a soul for over a century, and he can't hurt anybody because of the chip," Dawn insisted.

"She's been through a lot, Willow," Tara said quietly. "She seems so much happier now, and if that's because of Spike, that can't be a bad thing."

"You're right," Willow whispered. "We should give her our support. "I think she's gonna need it even more after Xander and Giles find out. She's um…telling them tomorrow."

"I don't think it'd be safe to leave home tomorrow," Dawn said with a smirk. "Unless we leave wearing armor and carrying shields. Xander's head might _actually_ explode. And Giles…he might break his glasses this time."

They continued on toward home, and Willow became very silent.

"Willow?" Tara asked quietly. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh…nothing. Just thinking."

"About what?"

"I don't know. It's nothing," Willow said with a shrug.

"Is it about Buffy?" Dawn wondered.

"Yeah. I can't help but think…I mean, before she died, she wouldn't have given Spike the time of day."

"So?" Dawn asked. "People change."

"But that fast? She comes back, and all of a sudden she's ready to…it doesn't feel right to me. Maybe…"

"Maybe what?" Dawn asked, a bit defensively.

"Maybe she really _did_ come back wrong."

"Willow," Tara said with a shake of her head.

"No!" Dawn exclaimed. "She didn't come back wrong. She's…she's Buffy! She's fine."

"Maybe," Willow muttered, "but I don't get it. She used to hate Spike. Dawn, before you were old enough to understand…Spike did some really bad things…"

"Yeah? So did Angel. I'm sure Riley wasn't perfect either. You didn't bat an eyelash when she started dating _him_, did you? You were even supportive with Angel…"

"That's different."

"How? Just because he had a soul? He had it because he was cursed. He…he didn't _want_ the soul."

"Dawnie," Tara said soothingly.

"No! She's telling me my sister's wrong. And she's not! She's Buffy. She's fine! Just because she's dating another vampire doesn't mean there's something wrong with her." Dawn stalked off ahead of the two.

"Dawn, wait!" Willow called. But, Dawn didn't turn around. Shoulders slumping, Willow looked at Tara. "I'm just worried about her."

"I know, sweetie," Tara said cautiously, "but everything's fine since Buffy came back."

"I know, but I need to know that she's really herself. I need to do a spell."

"Willow! You talked to her, didn't you? She's the same person…"

"Yeah. In every way except that she's with Spike!"

"Why can't you let that go?" Tara wondered.

"I just want to know that she's the same Buffy that threw herself off a tower to save her sister. If she is, then I won't say anything else. But, if she's not, and Spike's taking advantage of that…she needs to know." Tara sighed helplessly but nodded at her girlfriend. "She's my friend, and I love her. I just want to make sure she's really with him because she wants to be...not because some part of her changed against her will." She didn't say it aloud, but she thought to herself_, I don't want her to be with him because I messed up…because I changed her when I brought her back._

***

"Oh my God," Buffy murmured, as they walked into Spike's crypt. It was aglow with hundreds of candles. A spread of food lay on a table cloth draped over the crypt, and Buffy couldn't help but place her hand over her heart. "How'd you do this?"

"I set it up…paid Clem to come light the candles. There's a lot of 'em. That's why I had to distract you with the…uh…movie."

"That we didn't watch and left before it was over?"

"That's the one," he smiled. Buffy smiled back, and she made her way over to the set up, seeing some of her favorite foods there.

"Why this? You don't have to eat."

"I've got my own in the fridge, pet."

"Oh," she murmured with a knowing nod. "Right."

"Promise that next time, we'll go someplace that doesn't involve shagging in public."

"Well, that's not exactly on the con side of my list." She moved toward him. "But the sex part'll still come in, right?" He pulled her to him, kissing her hotly. When he pulled back, her eyes glimmered seductively.

"Count on it, luv."

***

"Still hungry?" he murmured, as he pushed her bare back against the cool wall of the crypt, feeling her legs tighten around his bare waist, as she ground herself against him, her black, lacy underwear acting as the only thing separating them.

"Mmm..." she moaned against his lips, before he broke away, kissing a trail down her neck and lower, taking a nipple between his lips. She threw her head back, her hands tightening on his shoulders.

"You're sure?" he teased, his tongue circling her nipple, eliciting another needy moan from the back of her throat. One hand teased around the waistband of her underwear, before slipping inside, softly brushing against her wet folds. "I could always have Clem bring more…"

"Shut up and take me downstairs," she growled. He chuckled, his tongue darting out to taste the flesh of her neck that just covered her heartbeat. It grew faster as he continued to tease her, and they stumbled down below his crypt, managing to stay tangled together, backing up toward the bed, nails scratching flesh, hands teasing. Her hand moved down, gripping him firmly in her hand, stroking him. He gasped against her mouth, letting her know she was playing with fire.

The look in her eyes told him she wanted to do a little extra something for him tonight, and the moment she let go of her grip on him, he sat her down on the bed. Her hand immediately reached for him again, stroking him until he was completely firm in her hand. Spike had to hold onto her shoulders to keep from falling over at the feel of her warm little hand on his cool, hard cock.

The moment her wet, warm lips pressed against the tip, he felt like he might lose control, but he held on for dear life, enjoying the sensation that washed over him, as she took him in, her tongue trailing along a prominent vein on the underside of his cock.

"Fuck…Buffy," he murmured, when she moaned, the vibration tingling up his length, making him quickly begin to lose the battle.

Her head bobbed a little faster, taking in only a few inches of him, torturing him as he wanted desperately to feel her warmth completely envelop him.

"Buffy…gotta…gotta have you. Now." Buffy understood, and she pulled back from him. He climbed over her in the bed, and she opened up for him, expecting something other than she received. Instead of slipping inside of her, he found his control again, and he began to kiss his way down her body, settling between her legs, his cool fingers prodding at her slick entrance. She gasped, as she felt his cold tongue circle her clit once before he resumed the work with his fingers, bringing her to a quick climax, lapping up the product of his trembling fingers.

"Spike," she breathed, after the intense orgasm, her hands pulling at him, urging him to come up. He crawled up her body slowly, kissing the path back up to her lips. She could taste herself on him, and she found it wildly erotic.

Within moments, he entered her, pulling her legs around his waist, burying as much of himself as he could in her, until she let out a little cry, whimpering his name. He soothed her with soft kisses, as he began to make love to her. He was gentle. Slower than he'd ever been, but God did it feel good!

Sex between them was always amazing, and as many times as they'd attempted to take their time, they always ended up begging for more. Begging for the frenzy that always came to pass when they were together.

Just as he'd expected, she began to grind her hips to his rhythm.

"Please, Spike," she breathed, her eyes closing tight, as his put a hand between t hem, his thumb rubbing against her swollen clit.

"Slow down, luv," he breathed against her ear. "We have all night." A smile pulled at her lips, and she nodded.

"Yeah," she breathed. "I guess we do." She pulled him back down against her, kissing him tenderly, and they made love, taking their time to explore one another, trying to memorize the little details about one another that they would onto for a long time to come.


	13. Interruptions

Chapter 13: Interruptions

"No! I'm not helping you," Tara hissed, as she and Willow went round and round in their bedroom. Luckily, Dawnie slept like a rock, and Buffy still hadn't returned.

"It's just a little spell, Tara. I just want to make sure…"

"What if you mess it up?"

"I won't!"

"How do you know?" Tara asked. "What if something goes wrong…what if you hurt her?"

"The spell won't even…she won't even notice."

"Wil, you know as well as I do that spells can be tricky, especially when you're dealing with resurrection spells and…"

"Nothing'll go wrong. The spell to bring her back didn't…"

"Then why are you so worried now? If the spell to bring her back worked, why do you even want to try…"

"I just want to be sure."

"So you're not sure she's fine."

"Tara…"

"You can't just mess with people's lives like that. Yeah, you brought her back. We're all happy. It's great, Willow, it really is, but how long before one of us gets hurt because you're trying to make sure you didn't make any mistakes in the first place?" Tara rarely ever got angry enough to say something like this, but she was fed up with Willow's use of her powers. She was a great witch, but she could just as easily do something terrible by accident with those powers she seemed to be trying to hone every day.

"Alright," Willow said quietly. "I won't do the spell if it'll make you happy."

"It would," Tara said with a nod.

"I'm sorry. I hate fighting with you."

"Me too." Tara looked away. Willow reached out to hug her, and Tara softened, hugging back. They shared a soft kiss before Tara broke away.

"I'm gonna go get a shower. You're going to bed?"

"Yeah. On my way now." She sat down on the edge of the bed. Tara smiled, and Willow waved her out the door. As soon as she heard the shower turn on, she reached under the bed, pulling out a spell book. She took a deep breath. She didn't want to lie to Tara, but she needed to make sure. As confident as she was, this was her friend's life at stake, and if there was something wrong with her, Willow definitely wanted to find a way to fix it.

She quickly rushed around, finding her candles and other things for the incantation, and once she was all set up, she knew she only had a few minutes before Tara would be out of the shower. She had to work fast.

Glancing over the words, she prepared herself for what she was about to do. It wasn't really a spell that should touch Buffy. It should just give her a feel of what the Slayer had become when she returned from the grave. Whatever had changed might be able to be fixed.

She closed her eyes, letting the words spill forth, foreign to many, but not to her. She knew what she was saying, and as soon as the words began to flow, a charge surged through her, and she could see exactly what she needed to. As painful as it was, she could see Buffy's death, but more than that, she saw Buffy's soul plucked out of the throng of souls waiting for their final destination.

She was in Heaven. Willow trembled, realizing that she truly had brought her friend out of a peaceful eternity. As much as Buffy seemed to be getting past it, she didn't know how it was possible. She could feel what Buffy felt. She could feel everything. It was bound to change a person. And not in a bad way.

She continued to see. She saw the violence surrounding Buffy's retrieval and her return back to Earth. Her throat closed, as she felt the same struggle Buffy felt in trying to break free from her coffin. She tumbled back on the bedroom floor, her hands clawing at air as Buffy's had clawed at the lining of the casket.

And then she opened her eyes. She was lying on the floor, and the candles around her had blown out. Her heart raced. Her lungs burned. But now she knew. The spell had worked. It had worked better than any spell she'd ever done. Buffy was still Buffy…only a Buffy who had experienced things that none of the rest of them could say they had. It still didn't explain Buffy's feelings for Spike, but at least now she knew that that relationship wasn't her doing.

The door to the bedroom opened, and Willow heard a little gasp. She sat up quickly to see Tara standing there, and for the first time in a long time, she couldn't read the expression on her face.

"Tara…I…" Tara said nothing. Instead, she just turned around and walked out of the room. Willow got up to go after her, but on the landing, Tara turned back.

"Just don't."

"Tara…baby…I…"

"No," Tara said, shaking her head. "Just…don't." She turned and took off down the stairs, grabbing her coat and leaving, not knowing where to go in the middle of the night. All she knew was that she wasn't staying there.

***

She'd fallen asleep before he had, but when she woke, he was sleeping soundly beside her. He was so still that it would've been frightening had she not known that he was undead.

Rolling on her side to face him, she propped herself up on her arm, smiling as she traced her gaze along the features of his face. His cheekbones weren't quite so prominent when he was asleep. She rarely ever saw him this relaxed, and she felt a soothing warmth flood through her at the thought that she could break him peace.

Her body ached, but in a good way. She'd never made love with him in such a way before. It was tender and passionate, but it was also intense and emotional. She'd never felt so many things during sex before, and while it was definitely of the good, she couldn't help but feel a little freaked about the whole thing. She'd never wanted to cry during sex before. She'd never felt that connection with a partner. Not Angel, not Riley…And this connection was with somebody who didn't have a soul.

She was starting to realize something though. Having a soul didn't matter when you were a one-in-a-million vampire like Spike. He was nothing like Angel or any other vampire. He had his pros and his cons, but the pros seemed to overshadow the cons in a big way.

She shivered as the cool air surrounding her made her skin prickle. She lay naked next to him, and as soon as she reached out, her hand gently caressing his smooth, cold chest, she pulled a blanket around herself. Spike woke at the feeling of warmth against him, and he peered over to see her studying him.

"If you looked at research books as hard as you're looking at me right now, you might not need those little Scoobies."

"Oh…I woke you up?"

"Don't mind, luv," he chuckled, turning on his side, propping himself up to mirror her. "You're cold."

"I'm ok."

"Probably shouldn't sleep here. I'm used to the cold, but…"

"It's quiet here," she protested. "And you have blankets. Thanks for that, by the way."

"Even a vampire needs a blanket every now and then. People think that when you live in a crypt, they can barge in anytime they want, even if you happen to be naked at the time." Buffy smiled.

"I'll keep that in mind," she laughed. Spike smiled back at her, but that quickly faded. He reached out, caressing her honey-blonde locks.

"Why are you here, Buffy?" Buffy furrowed her brows.

"Because you brought me here?"

"No. I mean…still? Here with me."

"You want me to leave?"

"You know that's not what I'm asking," Spike replied, his cold hand gently gliding over her shoulder, running under the sheet and over the curve of her hip. "We both know this probably never should have happened."

"Probably not," she agreed. "But I'm glad it did."

"It's like a dream. I think I might've had this very dream before. The things you do to me…it's like you're a different person." She flinched.

"You can't die, go to Heaven, be ripped out, and expect to be the same person you were before you sacrificed yourself to make sure thousands of hell dimensions didn't spill out on this town."

"I know, but it's like when you came back, you saw me…more…I don't know…you just…you saw me." He cleared his throat. "You treat me like a man. Still…"

"Because you haven't given me a reason not to." She didn't even bat an eyelash as she said it. "I don't know why I feel this way, but it doesn't feel wrong. I don't feel like disaster's waiting to happen around the next corner. That's good, right?"

"Sure," Spike replied, his fingers softly massaging her outer thigh. She looked over her, his body aching for her touch, wanting to touch her in return. But deep inside, he felt the pain of what was inevitable. Losing her. Whether it was death or anger that tore them apart, it would happen someday. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I'm not sure of anything," she admitted. "But right now? No complaints." She yawned, stretching and rolling onto her back, away from him. She sat up in the bed, the sheet falling off her, exposing her bare breasts, but she didn't seem to care, because she felt Spike's cool hand press against her back, rubbing slow, gentle circles.

"Oh God, that feels good," she moaned, ducking her head down, stretching her neck.

"Lay on your stomach," Spike commanded softly. She turned to look at him, and he nodded. "Go on. Trust me." She sighed but didn't object. She sprawled out on the bed, lying on her stomach, waiting for him to do whatever it was he was about to do. When she felt him crawl over her, a tingle ran up her spine. She closed her eyes, and when his cool hands began to run down the length of her back, his fingers working out the knots she had from training and patrolling, she melted under his touch.

"Oh my God," she mumbled into the pillow. "I hope you know I'm not going to forget this apparently new talent you have. I get knots. A lot."

"Don't hear me complainin', do you, luv?" Buffy remained silent, letting herself relax and completely fall into a semi-conscious state as he massaged her. He listened to the soft little mewls and moans that came out of her, as she rendered herself completely vulnerable beneath him. He leaned down, pressing his lips against the places his hands had just touched, as he worked his way down her body. She bit her lip, feeling a familiar pooling between her legs, and he could immediately smell her arousal. His tongue danced out, tracing sensual patters as he kissed her, lightly suckling her honey-gold skin.

"You better not be giving me hickeys," she giggled, though she showed no signs of stopping him.

"How's this feel?" he asked, his hands moving up to her shoulders.

"Fantastic," she murmured. "No. Better than that. I'm not sure there's a word for it, but oh, God, don't stop." His eyes darkened, his desire for her growing each time a little whimper of delight sounded from her lips. She felt him hardening against her backside, and she smiled a little.

He felt her starting to shift, so he shifted his weight so she could roll over beneath him. He caught the familiar gleam in her eyes, and she blushed.

"You know, the front side could always use a little massaging too." Spike let out a little growl, and she laughed, pulling him down to kiss her, as his hands explored her, massing her hips, her breasts, and the sensitive spots that he'd discovered she had in their time together.

He pulled her legs apart, quickly joining with her, holding onto her and kissing the valley between her breasts as she arched her back against the mattress.

"Oh God," she breathed, her fingers raking at his back. "Mmm…I've never liked getting massaged so much in my life."

"Gotta spice it up a little. That's all it takes."

"I hope you don't expect me to pay you for it."

"Oh, there are plenty of ways to reciprocate, pet," he whispered against her lips, moaning when her tongue darted out to taste his cool kiss.

His thrusts became more deliberate, and soon, she was partly dangling over the foot of the bed, her hands gripping the sheet. She looked up, only to see the underground of Spike's crypt upside down. She closed her eyes, feeling him moving inside of her. She found it hard to breathe, but when his hands moved over her breasts, his fingers flicking over her nipples, she almost forgot to breathe anyway.

He pulled at her legs, bringing her back up so she was lying completely on the bed, and he watched the redness slowly drain from her face. Her hands were on his hips now, pulling him closer, deeper.

"Oh God! Yes!" she cried out. "Please…oh God! Spike…unh!" Her words and her cries drove him on, and he was completely oblivious to the slamming of the crypt door upstairs.

"Spike?!" Came Xander Harris' frantic call. " Have you seen Buffy?" Buffy and Spike stopped mid-fuck, and with wide eyes, Buffy scrambled to get out from under him as soon as he'd pulled out. She made an attempt to cover them both with a sheet, figuring it'd be easier if he didn't see them still in the act of what he'd walked in on them doing.

His legs were already in sight, and in a minute, he was standing at the top of the few steps that were left, peering into the dimly lit basement.

"Spike?" Buffy and Spike exchanged glances. His eyes questioned her, and she shrugged, her own eyes full of horror. "I need to find Buffy. It's Willow…she called, and I thought I'd find Buffy, because she might be able to..." His eyes focused on a flash of gold from across the room, and he realized that gold wasn't gold at all. Instead, it was the very blonde hair of his very naked, very embarrassed friend, sitting in bed next to a very naked vampire. "Buffy!"

"Xander…"

"What the hell is…" Buffy quickly pulled the sheet tighter, and she shivered.

"What about Willow?"

"What the _hell_ is this, Buffy?" Xander asked, ignoring her question.

"I…I was gonna tell you. Tomorrow, actually. But that's not important right now. Xander, what's wrong with Willow?"

Xander finally turned his back and moved out of sight. Buffy scrambled to pull her underwear on under the covers. Spike quickly helped her get her bra on, and he fastened it behind her. That was about all they could do under the covers. The rest would have to wait until they had more privacy.

"While you were down here fucking the undead, she was getting her heart broken. I'll be upstairs." Xander disappeared up the steps, and Buffy looked at Spike, and he wasn't able to read her expression.

"You alright, pet?"

"That stung a little less than I thought," she admitted. "I should go…"

"Go on. Willow needs you."

"I'll see you tomorrow, ok? We still have to tell Giles."

"You really want me there?"

"I think if he sees us together…it might make it better."

"Or worse," Spike added. Buffy knew he had a point, but she leaned in to kiss him. With that, she leapt out of bed, scrambled to put her clothes on, and hurried up to find out exactly what had happened to Willow.


	14. No More Secrets

**Chapter 14: No More Secrets**

Once Buffy climbed up the ladder, she saw no sign of Xander. She quickly adjusted herself to make sure all of her clothes were on decently, and she pulled her coat on. Outside the door, Xander was pacing angrily. He looked like a father trying to come up with some kind of lecture for his teenage daughter after catching her with her boyfriend.

He turned when he heard her clear her throat, and he came at her.

"What the hell was that, Buffy?"

"Xander, it's not really…"

"Not really my business?"

"Well…no. It's not your business."

"How long has this been going on?"

"I don't think that matters, Xander," Buffy said, furrowing her brows. "What I do with Spike is my business, just like what you do with Anya is yours."

"You aren't comparing your relationship to that _thing_ with my relationship to Anya, are you?" he asked, his eyes narrowing. Buffy sighed heavily, crossing her arms to cease her desire to punch him in the face.

"What's wrong with Willow? Where is she?" Xander was silent for a minute, but when Buffy's eyes widened, he gave in.

"Tara walked out on her."

"What? Why?"

"She didn't say on the phone. When she hung up, I was heading over there, but I figured she could use you too. She didn't try to call you?" Buffy considered explaining that the underground of Spike's crypt didn't exactly get the best signal, but she figured that'd only make it worse. She just shook her head.

"So you're lying to all of them?"

"Xander…let's just…" She started off, throwing her hands in the air, stalking off toward home. Xander jogged to catch up.

"No. No, I'm curious. So when did it start? Before you died? After you came back? All this time?"

"Xander!" Buffy exclaimed. "It's none of your business! I don't have to tell you everything that goes on in my life. It's not like you ever really approved of any of the guys I've dated, so…"

"Dated? You're…you're dating him? Buffy, that's worse!"

"What?"

"If you were just…just using him for sex, that'd be one thing, but you're dating him? You have feelings for him?" Buffy could have said anything, but he was being childish, so she decided to go that route. She folded her arms again as she walked.

"So?"

"So?! He doesn't have a soul, Buffy!"

"You think I don't know that? You think I don't lay awake some nights wondering how he can be who he is and not have a soul? You don't know anything about Spike…"

"I know he's a vampire. He's a killer. What else do I need to know?"

"If you took the time to stop being such a jerk, you'd see that he's not like other vampires."

"Oh yeah. The 'he's not like other guys' speech," Xander said with a roll of his eyes.

"Well, he's not," Buffy said with a shrug.

"This is wrong, Buffy. You're a Slayer!"

They turned onto Revello Drive, and Xander continued talking.

"I'm guessing it started after you came back. You were different toward him."

"And why shouldn't I have been?" she asked, not even attempting to deny it. "I wasn't here, but everyone talked about how he stuck around and helped."

"Yeah…"

"Would someone as evil as you claim Spike is have stuck around to take care of my little sister when I was dead? Don't _even_ attempt to say it was to get into my pants, because, hello, I didn't have any pants to get into! I was dead and buried…in one of the ugliest dresses I've ever seen, by the way." Xander was caught off guard. "Spike stuck around, because I asked him to protect Dawnie, and he did that. He protected her through Glory and through my being dead and everything. And when I came back, I felt like I could talk to him, because I was afraid…"

"Afraid of what?" Xander asked. Buffy sighed, shaking her head. "Buff?"

"I was afraid…I was afraid of letting you know that I was happy where I was. I was finished. And then you brought me back and…and now…"

"Now you wish we hadn't?"

"Not _now," _she admitted. "But at first…yeah. In some ways." His features softened for a minute. "And I could talk to Spike about it." His features hardened once again.

"So you decided having sex with Spike would be easier than telling your friends how you really felt?"

"I didn't want to hurt anybody!" she yelled. "Xander, you didn't go through what I did."

"The hell I didn't!" he yelled back. "You jumped off that tower and left us all to pick up the mess! Do you know how hard it is to try to explain exactly how you died after you fall off of a tower at that height and have no broken bones? Or…or how you try to plan a funeral and keep the obituary out of the paper, because you don't know how to tell anybody else that your best friend died, because you're not sure if it really happened or if it was another one of those Slayer things, where there's always an answer for bringing you back? Well, this time, there was! I'm not sorry we brought you back, but if you're spending your time with Spike…how is that any better from being dead?" Buffy couldn't control herself, and she actually surprised herself when her hand came in contact with his cheek.

"You don't know anything about me and Spike," she spat. "So just shut up about it." Tears were stinging her eyes, and when she turned around to avoid the hurt expression of Xander's face, she saw that they were standing in front of her house. Without a look back at him, she stalked up the steps and into the house, slamming the door behind her.

***

Spike leaned against the wall of the Summers' house and took a long drag on his cigarette. He'd heard the whole of Buffy's conversation with Xander. He'd followed them, staying in earshot until he'd heard the slamming of the door, while Xander looked on in shock as his friend walked away from him. When Xander had disappeared inside to beat Buffy to Willow's door, Spike had headed off around the house to keep listen, just in case things were to get out of hand. He wasn't ready to go back to the crypt yet, and he was sure Buffy wasn't going to go back to him tonight, but he wanted to be there just in case she needed him.

He could hear the witch crying in her room, and he could hear the attempts of Dawn and Xander knocking at her door. But, when he heard a familiar voice, he perked up.

"Wil? Open up, it's me," Buffy said softly as she tapped on her friend's bedroom door. A sleepy Dawn had woken up when she'd heard Willow sobbing to Xander on the phone. Now, she was downstairs with Xander, who hadn't even been able to get Willow out of her room. He felt a little hurt by that, considering he and Willow had been best friends since Kindergarten, and she'd called _him_. But, now, she wouldn't come out for anyone.

To Buffy's surprise, the lock turned, and she heard footsteps retreating across the room. She turned the knob slowly and entered the room. Willow was sitting on the bed again, and she had a suitcase packed beside her.

"Wil? What's going on?"

"I…she left me, Buffy," Willow cried. "I…I can't believe she left."

"What happened?" Buffy asked softly, crossing the room to sit next to her friend. Willow shook her head.

"It was awful, Buffy. It was…it was my fault." Buffy furrowed her brows and placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I…I called Giles. He's coming to get me."

"What are you talking about, Wil?" Willow sniffled, taking a few shaky breaths.

"He's taking me to England. He…he wanted to take me right after he came back…when he found out how I brought you back. I didn't think I needed it, but he's taking me. It's…it's kind of a rehab for witches."

"You're going to stop being a witch?"

"Not exactly," Willow explained. "It's…well, kind of like Hogwarts in Harry Potter."

"Seriously?" Willow shrugged.

"If you study and do things right, you become a more powerful witch," she explained. "But they teach you how to control yourself…how to...use the magicks only when you need to." Buffy still looked confused. "Tara says I use spells too much, and I know she's right. It's just…at first it was easier, but now…"

"What happened tonight, Wil?" She could see the hesitation in her friend's eyes. "Willow? Talk to me."

"We were talking about you and…and Spike," she explained. Outside, Spike's cigarette dropped from between his lips, but he didn't make a move to pick it back up.

"Me and Spike? You told Tara?"

"You said that I could…I just…"

"No, no. It's ok. I don't mind," Buffy assured her. "Why though…"

"I told her I was worried about you."

"What? Wil, I said I could take care of myself. I meant it."

"I…I know. I just…I thought that maybe the spell…when I brought you back…" She looked away. "I thought maybe something went wrong. I thought I changed you somehow…because I didn't know how you could go from…from how you used to feel about Spike to actually…well, sleeping with him." Outside, Spike felt a little sting in his undead heart.

"Wil," Buffy said, a little unnerved, "I told you I'm fine."

"I…I know," Willow stammered. "I just wanted to make sure. I wanted to know that I didn't do anything wrong. Tara didn't want me to do a spell, but…but I did anyway, and she found out."

"What kind of spell?" Buffy asked quietly, trying to control her own worries now..

"It wasn't anything that could hurt you. I just wanted to see what you saw…so I could know if you were the same...if I'd done something wrong."

"And?"

"And…you're the same Buffy. There's…there's nothing wrong with you. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. If I knew it could hurt you or change things, I never would have done it," Willow explained quickly. "I just wanted to make sure I did things right. And I did! But she left me, and I couldn't explain. But she's been warning me for weeks. I guess I just…I thought I could do anything, because I had the power to."

"Wil," Buffy said quietly, "you know I love you. You know I'm your friend, but you…you thought something was wrong with me. I told you I was fine."

"I know, Buffy! But…it's…well, it's _Spike_."

"That doesn't matter, Wil. Being with Spike is my decision." Spike strained to hear more outside the window. "Just because I choose to be with him doesn't mean something's wrong with me. Sure, he doesn't have a soul. Sure…it bothers me sometimes. But, I don't think about it when I'm with him. He's not…it's not like you think. He's not…he's not evil, Wil. I don't know how things would be if he didn't have his chip, but I like to think it wouldn't be any different." She swallowed hard. "I don't know…maybe it would be different, but it's not like that now, so I don't care. Wil, you can't do spells on people just to make yourself feel better."

"I'm sorry, Buffy," Willow cried. "I didn't think…I didn't think it'd hurt anything. It didn't."

"Not this time. But, Wil, your spells haven't always gone to plan. Things could have turned out…"

"That's why I needed to know. You came back, and that was good, and you were getting better. But then…Spike…I just…I had to know." Buffy sighed heavily.

"I'm fine."

"I know that. Now…"

"And I want you to be fine too."

"That's why I'm going. I…I didn't think I was hurting anyone until she walked out, Buffy. I don't wanna lose her." She was sobbing again, and Buffy gently rubbed her shoulder. "You don't have to stay. You must be…"

"Pissed? I am. A little. But you've been here for me when I needed you. Yeah, you did a spell, yeah, you thought something was wrong with me, but you were worried about me, and I can't be mad about that." She hugged her friend. "But I don't want you to stay." Willow looked up at Buffy when they parted.

"You…you don't?"

"I want you to leave with Giles…and I want you to become the best witch you can be…and learn how to control yourself. Then I want you to come back, and I'll help you…"

"You don't have to…"

"Wil…we're friends. That's not gonna change…unless you turn me into a toad or something." Willow couldn't help but smile a little.

"I don't know how long I'll be gone…"

"That's ok. You still have a place to stay when you come back. Don't forget that."

"I'm…I'm really sorry, Buffy. I did what I thought was…"

"I know." A car pulled up outside, and Buffy looked toward the window. "I think Giles is here. He's…well, he's gonna want to know what happened, and I guess the bright side is, he won't be too mad at you when he learns I'm sleeping with Spike." Willow cringed.

"Yeah…I guess," she breathed. "Alright…I'm ready. I…I just wish Tara…"

"I'll talk to her," Buffy promised. "I'll tell her where you're going. That's a step forward, right? She can't be too mad about that." Willow felt the tears receding, and she nodded. She knew she didn't deserve a friend as good as Buffy, but she thanked her lucky stars that she was fortunate enough to have her. "Come on. Let's go. I was hoping to have Spike here for this, but it might be better this way." She pulled her arm around Willow, and the two headed downstairs to face Rupert Giles.

***

"Willow, go wait in the car. I'll be out in a moment," Giles said slowly, never taking his eyes off of Buffy.

"But…"

"Go!" he snapped, his patience short with her, but not as short as it was with Buffy right now. Willow quickly picked up her bag and left to head outside. Xander and Dawn were right behind her. Giles was too angry to even take off his glasses.

"How long has this been going on?"

"It doesn't matter," Buffy replied shortly.

"Bollocks!" he spat. Giles rarely used that kind of slang, but when he did, it meant he was pretty pissed off. "What were you thinking? I mean…were you even thinking? It's Spike for God's sakes! He's a demon! An evil one at that!"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Giles. You don't know Spike…"

"You sound like a child!" he growled. "After everything Angelus did? After Jenny…? You still think spending your time with a vampire is a good idea? Or have you conveniently forgotten the past?"

"I haven't forgotten anything!" she yelled back. "But Spike isn't Angelus!"

"There is no difference except for a piece of government plastic! That's the only thing keeping him from being the same…the same…animal!"

"That's not true! He's never been…"

"You're blind," Giles said with a delirious chuckle. "You have no idea the way the world works. What was I thinking ever believing you could handle things on your own? You have a lot to learn."

"I know enough," Buffy seethed. "And you should know enough to know that when I'm pissed off, I'm stronger than ever, so maybe it would be a good idea if you left. We'll talk about it when you get back from England." Giles and Buffy were at a standstill, and the threat hung thick in the air.

"We do have a lot to discuss, and mark my word, Buffy," he warned, "I'm not blind to the demon he is. If he so much as crosses a line while I'm gone, I'll put a stake through his heart the moment I return." With that, he stormed out the door, leaving Buffy shivering and alone inside. But, she felt an odd comfort wash over her when she felt those cool hands on his shoulders.

She spun around and did exactly what he didn't expect her to do. She hugged him. No. She clung to him. His arms were strong around her, and his chin rested atop her head. She was crying now, and he didn't know what to say or do, because what he was about to do was going to hurt her. Or maybe it wouldn't. He could never be sure.

He held her, though, for as long as she needed until she began to pull back.

"Buffy," he said quietly, gently squeezing her shoulders. She wiped her eyes and looked up at him.

"Sorry. I'm just…they don't understand." She stepped back a little, not able to read the expression on his face. "What's wrong with you?"

"Buffy…I…I don't know what to say."

"What do you mean? Say what?"

"Probably the worst timing anyone's ever had," he breathed, his hands still fixed on her shoulders, as if he wanted to keep her from running after he said what he had to say.

"Just say it," she said, her body stiffening under his touch. "What?"

"I have to go," he whispered. She flinched.

"Go? Go where?"

"I…I just have something I have to do, and I have to leave for a while."

"I don't understand." She shook her head, trying to speed up her thoughts, which seemed to have slowed tremendously. "You're leaving Sunnydale?"

"I have to, pet," he whispered. "There's something…"

"You're leaving? I…I can come with you," she said quickly. She had to get away anyway. Get away from Xander and from the emptiness that the house was going to have now that neither Willow and Tara would be there. "Where are we going?"

"I…I have to do this alone, pet." The look of hurt in her eyes had his head screaming at him to take it back and to forget he'd even said it. But he couldn't.

"Oh," she whispered, wrenching out of his grasp. "You're…are you…breaking up with me?"

"No! God, no, pet," he urged, stepping toward her again.

"Then what…"

"I have something I have to do. I just…I have to do it alone."

"You're scaring me," she remarked, shivering as his hands found hers. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Because…I…" He shook his head. "I love you, Buffy. I'm not leaving you. I just have to…leave for a little while."

"How long?"

"I don't know."

"You're…you're coming back?"

"I'll always come back, pet," he promised.

"I can go with you," she pointed out.

"No you can't, luv. Your little sis needs you right now, and the hell mouth isn't going to defeat its own demons."

"Why are you doing this?"

"You heard what he said better than I did. You saw the look in his eyes. You know he means it."

"Who?"

"Giles."

"What'd he…"

"He's right. I'm no better than…than Angel after he lost his soul again," he muttered. "All that's keeping me like this is…is this bloody chip."

"That's not true," Buffy said a bit angrily. "You know that. You're not a textbook case. Remember?"

"I remember, luv," he whispered, caressing her cheek. "But I'm not…"

"Not what?"

_I'm not the kind of man you deserve_, he thought. He bit his tongue. "I'm not…I can't explain. I have to do this."

"Do what?!" she asked, getting annoyed now, still worried, because she'd never seen him like this.

"Trust me," he pleaded, kissing her forehead and then her lips. "Trust me."

"I…I don't know what to say, Spike. You're just…you're leaving and…"

"And I'm coming back. You'll see…you'll understand when I come back. I have to do this."

"What do you have to do for yourself that's so important you're leaving in the middle of the night?"

"It's not for me, pet. Not completely. It's for both of us. It'll make it right." He kissed her once again, holding her tight against him, feeling her shaking with fear and confused anger at the same time. "I'll be back, pet. I wouldn't dream of never seeing you again." He kissed her one last time and then he was gone, leaving her with only the memory of a cool touch against her warm lips. She ran to the window, hearing a motorcycle rev up somewhere down the block. The roar of the engine dissipated as he grew further away, and then there was silence.

She sat down slowly on the couch, the big, empty house closing in around her. She could hear Dawn and Xander talking out on the porch. She could still smell the scent of Spike's leather coat, his cigarettes, his cologne. She could still hear the echoes of Willow's cries upstairs and Giles' angry yelling. Only, everything was different now. Willow and Giles were gone. Spike was gone. She was left with her little sister and a friend that might not be a friend anymore. What the hell had just happened?

***

"She broke through two sets of restraints in the last two days. She's getting stronger," a young nurse said, as she looked up at the older gentleman standing next to her. "She's sedated now, but as you already know, she's stronger than most patients, even under heavy sedation. If I may suggest so, Dr. Monroe, I think she needs to be moved to a more secure…"

"This is a maximum security prison, Nurse Wheeler," Dr. Monroe snapped. "There's nothing else to do for her but continue to sedate her and hope that…"

"Hope that what, Sir? That she doesn't find a way to break down the steel door? Forgive me, doctor, but I think she might be strong enough to do just that." The nurse walked off, and the doctor stepped closer to the small window in the door to look at their prisoner. She was strapped down to her bed. Both wrists and both ankles were strapped tightly to the mattress, while three thick belts held down her chest, her stomach and her hips. He watched as even in her sedated state, she struggled mercilessly against her restraints.

"Excuse me, Dr. Monroe," came a voice from nearby. The doctor turned to see a man about his same age walking toward him wearing a tan coat and carrying a briefcase. Three men in business suits stood behind him.

"Mr. Travers," the doctor said with a respectful nod. "I was just keeping an eye on the patient…"

"How are her vitals?"

"The same. But she's growing stronger each day." Quentin nodded.

"The Council has a more suitable facility for her transfer. We've come to collect her."

"You don't understand, Mr. Travers. She killed three guards last month when they tried to take her down for tests. Unless you have a better sedative…" One of the men behind him took out a syringe and a clear bottle. Dr. Monroe cleared his throat and stepped aside. "She's all yours, Mr. Travers." Quentin stepped up to the door and peered in at the young woman.

"We're taking you home, Dana."

* * *

_Let me know what you thought of the chapter! Thanks!_


	15. Slip of the Truth

**Chapter 15: Slip of the Truth**

"Hello?" Her voice sounded like she'd gargled with glass shards.

"Buffy?"

"Spike?!" she asked, sitting straight up in bed. "Where the Hell are you?"

"I was calling to check on you. It was awful timing…"

"That's the understatement of the year," she fumed. "What the hell was that? You just left, Spike. You didn't say where you were going…you didn't…"

"Buffy, luv, I'm sorry," he breathed. "It's just…hearing you talking to Willow and to the old man…I just…I had to do this."

"Do _what?_"

"I…I can't tell you."

"Then why the Hell are you calling me, Spike?" Not only did he hear the anger in her voice, but he heard worry too. He felt a lump in his throat at the thought of it. "Where are you?"

"I'll be home soon, pet. I promise."

"How soon? And how do you know you're gonna be welcome when you come back?" She was testing the waters. He knew it.

"Do you want me to come back?" Buffy sighed.

"I should really hate you right now," she muttered. "You ran off just as soon as my best friend was off to the airport. I think that earns you the 'most moronic boyfriend move ever' award."

"I'll make it up to you, pet. I just…I had to go just then. I'd have brought you with me, but it's something I have to go through alone, and I know you won't understand until I get back. If you'll listen."

"It'd better be a good explanation. And I mean _really_ good. Don't expect me to forgive you just like that. You're going to have a lot of making up to do." She could hear him smile on the other line.

"I'll do my best, pet," he promised. "Just try not to have any dreams about staking me while I'm gone."

"You'd better have a _really_ good reason for leaving when you did. Because Xander's going to be here soon, and I'm sure he's gonna have nothing but bad things to say about you, and how am I supposed to defend you when I'm this pissed off?" Spike paused on the other line, and Buffy closed her eyes, rubbing her forehead.

"Just remember," he began, "that I'm doing this so I can be better for you."

"What does that even mean?" Buffy asked.

"Exactly what it sounds like."

"Look, Spike, I don't care, ok? I like you just the way you are. You can't…"

"Trust me, pet."

"No. I don't."

"Sure you do."

"Ugh. It'd be easier to hate you," she muttered. He chuckled on the other line. "Oh no. You don't get to laugh about this. I'm still mad."

"I know, luv. I'm sorry. I have to go now."

"When will you be home?"

"I'm not sure," he explained. "It depends..."

"Fine. I'll be here. Hating you."

"You wish."

"Ugh."

"I love you," he whispered. She shivered.

"I…" She stopped herself. "Bye, Spike." She hung up the phone and flung it across the room. Dawn came rushing into the room, still in her pajamas. Buffy looked at the clock. 7:15.

"Are you ok?" Dawn asked with wide eyes.

"Fine. That was Spike."

"Is he ok?"

"He's _fine_," Buffy remarked through gritted teeth.

"And…how about you?" Dawn smiled nervously.

"Gee, I don't know, Dawn. One of my best friends is running off to England for witch school, my other one is disgusted with me, the man who's been a father to me for the past six years looks like he'd rather kill me than let me date Spike, and my boyfriend has run off to parts unknown to do something that's apparently going to make things better for us, but he doesn't have the decency to tell me what that is!" She took a few deep breaths.

"I can, um, stay home from school today if you want."

"You're not using me as an excuse to skip school," Buffy muttered, climbing out of bed. "Come on. I'll make you some breakfast."

"It's ok. I already ate."

"What'd you eat?" She watched her sister squirm. "Dawn?"

"Ok, ok. A brownie and a slice of cold pizza."

"Yum," Buffy said quietly, her stomach rumbling. "Eat something green and leafy at lunch. Oh yeah. And drink milk." Dawn made a face, but she didn't protest. "Go get ready for school. I'm not going to break."

"Yeah, but every girl I know that gets dumped by her boyfriend…"

"I did _not_ get dumped," Buffy scoffed. "He even made sure to tell me that's not what was happening. Stupid vampire and his stupid secrets." She kicked the wall.

"Um, Buffy? Probably shouldn't make any new holes in the wall. I mean, we've only got so much money." Buffy made a face in return, and she stormed down the stairs to find something to eat for breakfast.

She grabbed an apple off of the counter and headed out onto the back porch. Sitting down, she peered out into the yard. She realized she hadn't had much outside time during the day lately. Usually, if Spike was over, she was keeping him otherwise entertained. Still, it didn't bother her much that she didn't get much alone time anymore. She liked spending time with him. Of course, that was until he had to mess it all up by going off by himself.

She tried hard to be angry enough with him that she could be fine without him there, but it didn't work. It would've been better if he had gone off without any explanation and hadn't called. Then she could be really pissed. But, he said he had a good reason, and he even apologized for the awful timing.

She took a bite of apple, but found she had no appetite. She tossed it aside and stretched out her muscles. With a sigh, she realized that she should probably go by the Magic Box and train today, even though that meant she was probably going to have to see Xander, since Anya would be there and everything.

_Screw it_, she thought. She decided to stay home and work out in the basement. There was a punching bag there at least, though the most action the basement had seen in the past month was only that of the sexy kind.

With a frustrated sigh, she headed down to the basement to work out some of her frustrations, hoping to avoid the rest of her friends today…for the sake of anyone in a ten mile radius. She was just angry enough to do something she might regret later.

***

After bribing a truck driver, Spike had secured himself a spot in the back of a semi that would drive until nightfall, when he'd be dropped off at the nearest airport. He couldn't think about what he was about to do. He had never considered what he was about to do. It was just something he'd realized that he had to do. Yeah, she liked him the way he was. Yeah, things were great. But what happened if the chip stopped working? What if it was true about the chip? Maybe it really was the only thing keeping him the way he was now. As much as he didn't want to believe that, he knew that there was a possibility that it might happen someday, and if that did happen, what if he hurt her? What if he hurt Dawn? He couldn't take that chance. They were all he had now. His family.

"_You took care of my sister for months. An evil vampire wouldn't do that. You don't even have a soul, and you stepped up. It wasn't to win points with me, because I was dead. So what was it? It wasn't the chip. The chip wouldn't have stopped you from running off and leaving everybody else to pick up the pieces."_

The words echoed in his head. She truly did believe that. Still, the only way he could be sure that they actually had a shot at making this work was if he made damned sure that all of his bases were covered. It meant more for him to know that she could look into his eyes and feel things for him and not regret it rather than be confused about how she could care for somebody without a soul.

His head hurt as he thought about why he was cursed with this bloody disposition. How had he fallen in love with her in the first place? It had been a gradual process, yes, but the simple fact that he could feel love and _know_ it was love with astounding for a vampire. How could anything soulless love anything at all? He'd been told for so many years that he was evil. Disgusting. Nothing but a demon walking around inside a corpse. And he'd started to believe it. That was, until she'd made him feel like a man for the first time in over a century.

"_Sure, you might not have a soul, but you helped a bunch of humans…and an ex-demon. You babysat my little sister just so she wouldn't feel alone. You're here right now. You dressed my wounds. What the hell are you? Why are you doing this?"_

"_You know why. I love you."_

"_And if you didn't? Would you still act like this?"_

He closed his eyes, trying to focus on something other than those unpleasant thoughts. The truth was that he didn't know, but he really didn't want to risk hurting her to find out. Still, he knew he'd hurt her by leaving, and he was going to have a lot of making up to do when he returned, but when he returned, he was going to have a part of himself that had been missing since the moment he was sired. He was going to be better for her. Buffy would no longer have to think about his actions or his words, because she would know they came from the heart.

Just a few more days, and he would have something he'd never realized he wanted so much until now. He was going to have his soul, and he was going to return to the woman he loved. He was going to make this work. He had to.

***

"How's she doing?" Quentin Travers asked as he stepped into sight of the large, six-inch-thick glass window that gave a full view into Dana's room. She was strapped down onto her bed, though she continued to test her strength against the restraints.

"She's growing stronger, Sir."

"Perhaps it's time we considered a therapist…"

"She's barely lucid, Sir. She's strong, but she's not going to talk to anyone. She's beyond Help. The most merciful thing to do would be to…to kill her and let someone else be called."

"You may be right, but our duty is to protect our Slayers, not murder them."

"Sir, she's a lost cause. She was locked up for murder."

"Let's give her three more days with the experimental medications. If our calculations are correct, and if these treatments work, we may be able to talk with her."

"If you ask me, Sir, there's no helping her." Quentin found himself alone now, staring in at Dana. He knew the doctor was right, but there was a reason this girl had been called. They had to give her a chance. If it didn't work, what was one more Slayer behind bars? At least there was still one active Slayer in the world.

***

Buffy was just coming up to grab a quick snack when a knock came to the front door. Frowning, she prepared herself for a tongue lashing from Xander. Though, when she looked at the clock, she realized he wouldn't be off of work for another few hours.

To her surprise, Tara stood on the other side of the door.

"Tara?"

"Hey," Tara said awkwardly.

"You didn't have to knock. You still live here, you know." Buffy moved out of the way to let her best friend's girlfriend…or maybe now, ex-girlfriend, come in. Tara walked in nervously and shut the door.

"I just came to get a few things. Is Willow…"

"Not even in the country."

"What?" Tara's jaw dropped a little.

"She had Giles whisk her away to England. Some school for witches…I don't know. It was a little Harry Potter-ish." Despite the words she spoke, her tone was quite sad.

"She went willingly?"

"I guess…when you left…she called him. She wanted to go." Tara winced a little. "Tara, you can stay, you know. The house is kinda quiet. I don't think we'll be seeing Xander around for a while. He freaked when he found out about Spike. Of course, he found out by finding us in bed together, but still. Dawn would love it if you'd stay too."

"I don't know, Buffy. I mean…it would be…"

"At least until Willow comes back?" Buffy asked. "Tara, what Willow did…I forgave her, but I want her to get help. And just so we're clear, I'm not mad at you for what you did. True, she's my best friend, but I understand why you left. It was for her own good."

"I'm not so sure anymore," Tara admitted.

"Well, you have plenty of time to figure it out. Please stay," Buffy urged. "I could use somebody else here that's in my corner with the Spike situation…" She paused. "You are in my corner, right? I guess I shouldn't…" Tara held up a hand.

"I'm not here to pass judgment," she replied quietly. "I think that it's good Spike has something to focus on. Some_one_, I mean. You're good for him. And…he's good for you too."

"Yeah?"

"Not saying you need a vampire in your life or anything, but you smile more when he's around. I think that's good." Buffy smiled a little.

"Yeah. Well, he's not exactly around right now."

"What? Where is he?"

"He ran off to do something secret. He wouldn't tell me what. He just said it was going to be better." Buffy shrugged. "So it's just me and Dawnie. We could use the company."

"If you're sure. I do have another place…"

"Is it filled with the ingredients to make yummy S'mores?"

"Well…no."

"See! You should stay. S'mores make everything better." Tara couldn't help but smile.

"Thanks, Buffy. I guess…yeah, I guess I'll stay for now."

***

Dawn had gotten home an hour ago, and she was up in her room studying for a big English test. She had the good portion of _The Great Gatsby_ to read, and she wasn't thrilled with the idea of spending the rest of her day doing some for school. But, she had to keep her grades up, because if she even looked as if she was struggling with school, social services would come sniffing around.

Tara was fixing dinner, much to Buffy's delight. Since there was nothing that needed cleaned, fixed, or slayed, Buffy was sitting on the couch watching TV. She shifted her position on the couch, only to feel something between the couch cushions. She fished it out and was surprised to find Spike's lighter. She sighed, clutching it in her hand. Tears stung her eyes, threatening to fall. She missed him. Buffy the Vampire Slayer missed a vampire. A lot.

She placed the lighter securely in her pocket, and she stood up, knowing that if she sat there and thought about it too long she'd get upset. So, not wanting that, she grabbed her coat.

"I'm going for a quick patrol! Be back in a half hour!" But just as she was about to go out the door, someone knocked on the other side of it. Furrowing her brows, she opened it up to come face to face with Xander. She cringed inwardly. "Hi."

"Hey." His voice was low. She knew he was still mad. Still, he was her friend. As much as she didn't want to see him right now, she couldn't turn him away. "Come in if you want." She walked away from the door, leaving him to make the choice. When she heard his shoes on the hardwood floor and the door shut behind him, she prepared herself for more venom.

The room was filled with silence for a few minutes. Buffy awkwardly sat on the edge of the couch, waiting for Xander to speak. He paced nervously in front of her, until she had to look away.

"I came with all these things to say to you, but now I don't know what to say, Buff," Xander said quietly.

"Yeah," Buffy said slowly. "I guess there isn't much to say. I know how you feel about Spike."

"It's not just Spike. It's you _and_ Spike. I don't get it, Buffy."

"I don't expect you too. You've always hated Spike."

"And so have you. Until recently anyway. What's up with that?" Xander sat down across from Buffy, and she flinched, remembering Spike doing the same to her after she'd come back from the grave. "It's not a spell, so what is it?"

"It's…it's me," she confessed. "I've changed."

"Not for the better."

"Xander…"

"No. Spike's a…a vampire. Did you forget I was there when Angel started killing people we know?"

"Xander, it's not like that."

"Then what's it like? Just because he has some fancy chip in his head, that makes him a lovable teddy bear?" Buffy rolled her eyes. "He's evil, Buffy."

"No he's not."

"He doesn't have a soul!"

"That doesn't matter!"

"It did before. With Angel."

"Spike's not Angel, ok? He's different. He's…I don't know why, but when he says he loves me, I believe him." It was Xander's turn to cringe.

"You honestly don't think this is a way for him to get close to you so whenever he has the chance, he can use what he knows about you to kill you."

"No. I don't think that."

"Maybe the spell did go wrong. Maybe something's wrong with you." Buffy stood up quickly.

"There's _nothing_ wrong with me. As a matter of fact, Willow did a spell to make sure, and that's why she's gone."

"What?"

"She wanted to make sure the spell didn't go wrong, so she did another spell, and she found out that I'm 100% the same Buffy that came back. The only difference is that when I came back, I saw Spike with new eyes. He did a lot of good over the Summer, and you're sitting here telling me…"

"Buffy! I don't care what he did this Summer. He only did it because he didn't have anything better to do. He couldn't hurt anything but demons."

"I don't expect you to understand," Buffy said, crossing her arms. "But I figured that because we're friends, you'd try." She saw the hurt in Xander's eyes.

"You know," he said after a few moments, "in high school, I wondered what it was about me that was so…unappealing to you." Buffy sighed, but he didn't let her speak. "I watched you swoon after one guy after another, and all the time, I had to sit there and listen to you talk about them, like I was one of your girlfriends. Then Angel turns into the big bad wolf, and after he's all re-souled, I'm not allowed to talk bad about him, even after everything he's done. You couldn't even give me that."

"This is about high school?" Buffy asked, mouth agape.

"Not just about high school! You didn't give me the time of day then. Thankfully, I found Anya, but I was your friend, and you didn't even care that every time I expressed any interest, you shot me down."

"Xander…"

"Look, I'm not trying to get jealous here. I'm _not_ jealous of Spike. But each guy you pick is worse than the rest. Except for Riley. So what? After Angel, you have a one night stand, try it with a good guy, and when he leaves, you shack up with the next bad boy you see?"

"Oh that's great," Buffy said angrily. "That's what you think of me?"

"Buff…"

"Is everything ok in here?" Tara entered the room cautiously. Xander turned to face her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I…I live here," she said softly.

"Why?" He turned back to Buffy. "What the Hell is she doing her after what she did to Willow?"

"If you would've opened your eyes," Buffy said hotly, "you'd have seen that Willow's been using her powers a lot more than she should be. Tara…"

"It's ok, Buffy. You don't have to…"

"No. He's so quick to bite anybody's head off lately. He should know what an idiot he is."

"Oh, I'm an idiot, says the girl fucking a vampire."

"Yes! You _are_ and idiot!" she spat. "Tara asked Willow not to do the spell, and what did she do? She did it anyway? I love Willow, but I can't blame Tara for leaving. I asked her to stay, because everybody's gone. Willow's gone. Giles is gone. You're too thickheaded to understand what's going on. Spike left…"

"He left?"

"He's coming back," she explained. Tara slipped out of the room to check on dinner. Buffy could hear the creaks of the floorboards on the stairs where Dawn was listening in.

"Oh, I'm sure he is. He won't leave that easily."

"Xander, I don't want to fight with you…"

"Well, this is how it's gonna be from now on if you don't wake up, Buffy."

"So, if I keep seeing Spike, you're just gonna throw away the past six years?" Xander said nothing. "That's great. Thanks, Xander." She turned to walk out of the room.

"Buffy."

"No!" She spun around again. "Nobody really liked Anya when you started dating her, but none of us told you that if you didn't stop dating your ex-demon girlfriend that we'd stop hanging out with you. But when I fall in love with Spike, you're the first one to judge me and tell me that we can't be friends if I keep seeing him." The room went silent, and Buffy didn't understand why Xander was looking at her the way he was. "So just…leave if that's how you want it to be."

"What…"

"Leave!"

"No. Buffy…you said…you're in love with him?"

"What?"

"You're in love with Spike?!" His features twisted into a grimace of disgust, and she felt her heart stop for a second.

"I…"

"This is worse than I thought. I don't…" He shook his head, turning toward the door. He walked out without looking back at her. Before the door slammed behind him, he called out, "I don't even know you anymore."

* * *

_Once again, I'd like to thank you all for our support and continued feedback! Please keep it coming!_


	16. I Love You

**Chapter 16: I Love You**

Dawn slowly descended the stairs, her mouth hanging open slightly. Buffy folded her arms across her chest as she turned away from the door that Xander had just exited from. Tears stung her eyes, still threatening to fall, and she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

"Buffy? A…are you ok?" Dawn asked softly. "I heard what he said. He was totally out of line."

"I'm ok, Dawnie," Buffy assured her sister. "Sorry you had to hear that." Dawn smiled a little.

"He's just upset. He'll get over it."

"The old Xander might have, but I think…maybe I really am an idiot."

"For being with Spike?"

"No! Not because of Spike. But because all those years, even after I knew Xander liked me…I guess I just flaunted Angel in his face…you know?"

"Well, you didn't feel the same way about him, and he knew that. Yeah, it might hurt, but he can't control who you date."

"Thanks Dawnie," Buffy said with a sigh. She hugged her sister, and when they pulled apart, the younger Summers girl had a grin on her face. "What?"

"You said you love Spike." Buffy hesitated to respond, but Dawn continued. "Was that the first time you said it, because it kinda sounded like it was? Have you told Spike yet? Or are you waiting until he comes back? Oh, that'd be so romantic!"

"Dawn," Buffy laughed nervously, "I…no, I haven't…I mean, Spike doesn't…"

"You do love him though, right? I mean, you said it."

"Dawn…" Dawn's face fell.

"You were just saying it to piss off Xander, weren't you?" Buffy didn't answer. "Oh my God! You meant it! You love Spike!" Buffy gave her sister a half-smile and a little shrug.

"I…I guess I do. It just came out, but it didn't feel wrong, you know? It felt like…well, it felt like it'd been bubbling up for a while. I guess Xander pushed the right buttons, and it came spilling out."

"Yay!" Dawn squealed. "Ok, so when are you telling Spike?"

"Dawnie, I don't know," Buffy said, her shoulders tensing. "I have a lot of things to think about, and I don't know when he's coming back."

"So tell him over the phone."

"I can't do that," Buffy muttered.

"Why not? People do it all the time!"

"Not over the phone!"

"Well…be original then. Tell him on the phone. Breaks the ice for the first time you have to say it to his face."

"It's not that simple, Dawnie," Buffy explained patiently. "It's just…I…"

"What? How's it so difficult? I mean, you love him, so why…"

"I'm gonna go patrol now," Buffy interrupted. "Tell Tara I'll eat whenever I get home." She turned and headed out the door without another word. Frustrated, Dawn turned on her heels and headed into the kitchen, where Tara was stirring sauce in a pan.

"You ok?"

"Me? What about you? Xander didn't have to be such a…"

"It's ok, Dawn," Tara replied quietly. "Willow's been his best friend since they were kids. I don't blame him for being upset."

"But you didn't do anything wrong! And he's going off on Buffy for being in love with Spike."

"In love?" Tara asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Buffy was yelling at Xander, and it slipped out. Good news? She didn't deny it!" Tara smiled, knowing Dawn had been rooting for her sister and the vampire for quite some time. "But Buffy's being lame. She doesn't want to talk about it, and she's not going to tell him over the phone."

"Sometimes that's just something you have to say in person. Especially the first time," Tara explained.

"Yeah, but this is different. I mean, Spike's a vampire, which means he's probably gonna be around forever. Buffy might be strong, but she's human, which means she's not. With her being the Slayer and everything…well, you never know." Dawn shivered. "She shouldn't wait, you know?"

"You have a point," Tara nodded. "But maybe Buffy's not ready for that yet. I mean, they haven't been dating that long, and before that, they were mortal enemies. Technically, I guess they're still mortal enemies. They just choose to ignore that little fact." Dawn shrugged at Tara's explanation.

"Yeah. But it's stupid. Buffy's been hurt enough, and Spike loves her. I mean, he's said it God knows how many times, so she can't be afraid of rejection. So…what _is_ she afraid of?"

***

Despite the fact that it was still light out, two very brave demons had wandered out of their dwellings only to be greeted by the Slayer. Two Fungus demons, of which Buffy guessed were both male, had come at her as soon as they'd seen her, and one was already melting into a large puddle of sticky, smelly goo, while the other was not only playing the part of the soon-to-be dismembered villain, but also as the listening ear Buffy needed.

"So, apparently, I love him," she said with a shrug as she kicked the demon in his round belly. He groaned and fell backward, but he came at her within moments, growling. "See, I don't know what to do about it." She knelt down, bracing herself against the ground, as the demon lunged at her. She flipped him onto his back, standing on his chest, as he struggled to breathe. "My sister says I should tell him, but what's he going to think?"

"I don't know," the demon gurgled with a helpless shrug, as Buffy let him up, only to kick him back against a crypt wall as soon as he was on his own two feet.

"Me neither," she frowned. "Maybe I'm just being stupid. It's been known to happen before." Roundabout kick to the chin. The demon smacked against the wall again. "I guess I'm just afraid that it's all…well, you know…I'm the Slayer, he's a vampire. We're supposed to be like oil and water, but my _God_, the more of him I get, the more I want."

"That's nice?" the demon guessed, getting a hard hit in to the Slayer's shoulder, sending her back and then kicking her in the stomach. She gasped for breath, but as she was doubled over, she fell into a full front-flip, kicking the demon to the ground again.

"I don't expect you to understand," Buffy muttered, sitting on the giant beast, delivering a few hard punches to his head, dizzying him. "But if you knew me, you'd know that me saying…those words…to somebody…well, it's kinda a big deal. See, my first _real_ boyfriend was a vampire. Long story short, he turns evil and tries to kill people I care about. He didn't always fail. I killed him. He came back. We got back together. Guess what? He left." She punctuated her sentence with another hard punch.

"S…sorry?" the demon offered.

"Then came Parker." She gritted her teeth. "One night stand. It was fun for him. Sure. He gets sex with the pretty blonde girl, and the pretty blonde girl turns out to be pretty stupid for trusting him." She sighed. "Then came Riley. Oh…he was sweet, and he cared about me. But he was part of a secret organization that, you guessed it, dealt with demons. Capturing them, testing them, experimenting. We both had our own things, you know? Me, killing demons, him tracking them down, helping his psychotic boss without realizing she was trying to build a master race." Buffy punched the demon again, who struggled beneath her. "My mom dies, and I guess he wanted me to cry on his shoulder, but I couldn't do that. And he left."

"Don't see why. You seem like a lovely girl," the demon choked out, as Buffy squeezed his slimy neck. "Guess what I'm getting at is that I'm…" It hit her.

"Afraid of getting left?" Buffy squeezed the neck harder and snapped it, getting up as soon as the demon's gooey remains began to decompose into the ground.

"Exactly," she muttered. She wiped her hands on her pant legs and started off further into the graveyard. As she walked, she strained to think about a time when her life didn't consist of spending hours upon hours walking over graves, waiting for the earth over certain ones to move and give way, as a new undead being emerged. She couldn't really remember that life. It was a blur.

But as she was walking, she felt a prickling sensation down her back, and she froze. Turning, her thoughts flashed back to a night when she'd fought for breath, clawing her way out of a cold, damp grave, and in a sense, being born out of Heaven and into a life she'd thought she'd left behind.

The ground was green and flat, seemingly undisturbed. But this was the spot. This was where she'd been buried, apparently in a private ceremony. This was where she'd taken her first free breath in this new life, and she'd recalled her death in every painstaking detail.

She shivered, turning away from it, not wanting to think about those things. She was getting past it all, but the memory was still there and she was sure it always would be.

She was lost in thought as she continued through the graveyard, and before she knew it, she stood in front of Spike's crypt. She frowned, wishing she could knock and he'd come to the door. But she knew he wouldn't. He was away, and only God knew where. She paused. If there really was a God, did he keep tabs on the eternally damned? She shivered again at that though. It didn't seem right that Spike could be put into that category. He was much less a demon in character than any other vampire.

With a sigh, she let herself in, having to squint in the darkness as she stumbled around, searching for a matchbox and a candle. After a few long minutes filled with muffled expletives as the Slayer gracelessly stumbled about the dark crypt, she finally found what she was looking for, and she lit a candle, sending a soft glow out about two feet. She found more candles, lighting them so she could make her way to the ladder and find her way down without breaking something; a vase, his precious television, her own neck.

Downstairs, Buffy lit torches on either side of the wall, illuminating the room enough for her to make her way over to the bed. She smiled a little, not at all surprised that the sheets will still rumpled. Sitting down, she reached out, taking one of his trademark black shirts into her hands. She brought it to her face, touching the fabric to her warm cheek. She inhaled deeply, her heart fluttering at his scent. She lay back on the bed, her head hitting the pillow, and she held the shirt against her. Closing her eyes, she continued to breathe in and out slowly, taking in the scent she missed going to sleep to and waking up to every morning.

Yes, the vampire slayer had it bad. But oddly enough, she wasn't embarrassed or ashamed of herself. She and Spike had a closeness that she'd never shared with anyone before. Maybe she'd gone through a lot, emotionally, with Angel, but she was a much different person now. She wasn't a little girl anymore. She was a woman who knew herself a lot better than she had back then, though she wasn't certain that what she did know was enough yet. Only time would tell.

***

By the time she returned home, it was late. She'd fallen asleep in Spike's bed, and by the time she woke up, there were vampires prowling about the graveyard. She'd been able to dust three of them, before two more ran off into the night. Vampire activity was going up, apparently. There had been nights years ago when one or two a night were all that rose from their graves. Vampires must be getting thirstier, she figured.

Yawning, she walked into the kitchen, warming up the leftover pasta courtesy of Tara. After eating a few bites, she headed back up the stairs for a shower. By the time she crawled into bed, it was after midnight.

She wasn't even remotely tired. The nap at Spike's crypt had rested her, and even after a grueling vampire chase in the cemetery, she wasn't ready to nod off quite yet. She frowned, staring up at her ceiling, wondering what Spike was doing.

As if on cue, the phone rang, and Buffy immediately picked up the receiver, not wanting to wake the entire household.

"Hello?" she asked slowly.

"What are you wearing?"

"Spike?"

"Hello, luv." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Hi, Spike," she whispered, wondering if he could hear the smile tugging at her mouth. "Why are you calling so late? Tara and Dawn are asleep."

"You sure?"

"Uh…yeah?"

"Go check."

"Wh…why?" At the tone of his voice, she felt a flourish like butterflies in her stomach, while a heat surged further southward.

"Just go on, pet. Put the phone down and make sure they're fast asleep." Buffy frowned but did as he asked. She headed down the hall and peeked into Tara's room. Tara was passed out on the bed, a book folded over her chest. Buffy closed the door gently and looked into Dawn's room. Dawn had headphones plugged into her ears, one leg was draped over the bed, and her face was buried into a pillow, which was no doubt getting covered in drool.

Satisfied that her housemates were sleeping, Buffy returned to her bedroom, closed the door, and headed back over to her bed. She turned her bedside light off and picked the phone back up.

"I'm pretty sure my sister's drooling and Tara's out for the count. What do you want?"

"You're adorable when you're naïve, kitten." Buffy felt a twinge deep down at his newer pet name for her. She should be offended and disgusted that he used something so girly and cute, but she had to admit…she kinda liked it. Not kinda. Really. She shivered

"You mean…Spike! No! What if somebody wakes up and picks up the phone?"

"Who's gonna wake up from their dreams to make a phone call this late at night? C'mon, luv. Live on the wild side."

"I do that every day. It's not easy being the Slayer and a vampire's girlfriend."

"Don't tell me those gits are getting onto you…"

"Oh no. But they're getting the full brunt of my frustrations in very violent ways. I told a fungus demon about my entire romantic history." She left out the part about the 'I love you' thing. She just couldn't say it over the phone. God, when his voice was as smooth as it was right now, she wanted to tell him everything, but she bit her lip.

"Bet he got a kick out of that."

"A kick…a broken neck," she mused. "Where are you?"

"Further away than yesterday."

"Fine, I won't ask again," she shrugged. "Have you done what you wanted to do?"

"Not yet, pet. Going in the morning."

"The morning?"

"It'll be dark where I am, luv," he promised.

"Good," she breathed, "because even if I am mad at you, I'll probably tackle you the minute you walk through the door, so I don't want a pile of dust showing up on my doorstep."

"That bad, eh?"

"You have _no_ idea," she muttered, rolling her eyes again.

"Oh, I think I have an idea. I went a long time fantasizing about you, pet. But now that I've been where I've been…going a day is like…"

"Ok, no poetry," she laughed. "What do you want?"

"You know what I want."

"Unless you're right outside my door right now, I don't think that's gonna happen, Spike."

"What if I was right outside your door?" he murmured. Buffy's eyes widened and she got up to go check, but before her feet hit the floor, he chuckled softly. "I'm not really there, pet. But what would you do if I was?" _Oh_. That was his game. She smiled.

"I don't know. I'm still mad at you for leaving."

"But you'd fancy a shag, wouldn't you?"

"You're so British," she laughed.

"Then tell me what you'd want. In your words, pet." Buffy licked her lips, her heart hammering against her chest.

"It's late," she teased.

"You're smiling."

"What? How do you know that?"

"I can tell by your voice," he chuckled. "I can hang up and we can do this when I get back if you'd rather…"

"No!" she exclaimed a bit loudly. Clearing her throat, she steadied her voice. "Fine. I'll play your game."

"It's not a game, pet. Don't tell me you've never done this before."

"None of my boyfriends ever took off in the night…well, at least not with the intention of coming back."

"I'll be back, luv. I promise. And I'll explain to you why I did it. Why I left. Why I had to."

"It had better be good." She realized the focus of the conversation was changing, and the way they were going, those three little words were threatening to surface. No. It wasn't the right time. Not yet. She had to wait. "So, remind me why you called."

"I was thinking about you," he breathed, a little chuckle in his voice. "Wondered if you were thinking about me too."

"Now that you mention it," she grinned, "haven't thought about you all day."

"You are a terrible liar."

"So I've been told."

"Last time I told you that, the night ended pretty good for the both of us, right?"

"You could say that," she laughed. There were a few moments of silence before Spike spoke again.

"You didn't answer my question."

"What question?"

"What are you wearing?"

"My pajamas, you perv."

"Describe 'em to me."

"Ugh. This is weird."

"Isn't weird, pet. It's just…another way of communicating."

"Oh yeah. Communicating, says the vampire who'd rather fuck first and talk later." She heard a sharp intake of breath. "What?"

"Sorry, pet. Just didn't expect those words out of your mouth," he teased again, knowing perfectly well that he'd heard a lot worse come from those perfect, pink lips. Just thinking about what those lips could do made him harden a little in his hand. His free hand held the phone, and he wondered if she was touching herself yet. No, probably not, he figured. It was going to take a little coaxing. He didn't mind. He rather enjoyed that.

"Oh please," she laughed.

"You're right. You're definitely not a lady in the bedroom."

"Ass!" she laughed. "I hate you."

"You do not." _You're right_, she thought. _I love you_.

"Tell me," he said again, his tone a little more demanding. "The sexy black knickers?"

"Actually," she said, chewing her bottom lip, touching the neck of the shirt she wore. "I'm wearing one of your shirts." He hardened a little more but was silent. "Spike?"

"Go on, luv."

"It smells like you," she offered. "And yes, I'm wearing the black underwear I wore the other day…on our first date."

"Tell me you didn't wash them," he said smugly.

"Ew! Yes, I washed them, sicko!" He laughed again.

"What else?"

"Um…nothing," she said sheepishly.

"Take off your knickers," he breathed.

"I'm not in the mood," she lied. She slipped them off in one fluid motion.

"And the shirt."

"Mmm…I wanna keep that on." Her free hand was already toying with a nipple through the fabric of Spike's shirt.

"S'alright," he said with a cocky smile that she could picture in her mind. "I've got a pair of your frilly pink knickers here."

"Please tell me you haven't been wearing them."

"Nah, they don't fit."

"Spike, you're kinda killing the mood." Actually, she was wetter than ever.

"Wish you were here, pet."

"This is corny." She pinched her nipple once before letting her hand travel downward.

"I can hang up…"

"No!" she exclaimed. Hearing a soft snore from down the hall, she lowered her voice. "Don't hang up. Talk to me. Tell me about where you are."

"Well, right now, I'm in a seedy little hotel room. Curtains are shut, can hear the couple in the room next door shagging like rabbits."

"Must be torture for you," she laughed.

"Not a total loss," he muttered. She heard a hitch in his voice.

"Are you…"

"Aren't you?" She was about to deny it, but she circled her thumb over her clit and entered two fingers right away. She bit her lip to keep from moaning. "S'what I thought. Now…tell me where you are."

"You _know_ where I am."

"Play along, pet. Set the scene." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"I'm laying on my bed…the lights are out, the door's shut. The wind is rustling the braches against my window."

"Dark and stormy night, eh?"

"Dark is right."

"What are you doing right now?"

"Just laying here…talking to you. What are you doing?"

"Right now, I've got my hand on my dick, and all I want is to bury it inside of you." Buffy couldn't help but let out a little moan, as she slowly slid her fingers in and out. "Do you want me, pet?"

"Mmmm…"

"I'll take that as a yes. How many fingers do you have inside of you right now?" She paused. How the hell did he know?

"Two," she answered.

"Insert another one." He heard a little moan as she did so, and he gave his cock another stroke. "Are you grinding your palm against your clit, Slayer?" Buffy realized that yes, she was.

"You're sure you're not watching me?" He chuckled at that.

"I just know you, luv. I know the way your body works, the things that get you off."

"Unh," she groaned, as she pumped her fingers a little faster. "Spike…"

"What is it, kitten?"

"Oh God," she muttered, his words sending a little thrill through her.

"Tell me what you need pet," he whispered.

"I need you inside of me," she breathed, leaning back against her pillows, her heels digging into the mattress as her fingers continued to work their own magic. "Oh God. I need you, Spike. I need you now."

"I'm there, pet. I'm kissing you. Your lips. Your neck…" Buffy's hand trailed down to each spot he told her. "Open up for me. I want to taste you, luv." She pulled her legs up a little, spreading them, her fingers doing as he commanded. Her fingers circled her clit and then plunged back inside as he expertly described every detail of how he wanted to make her scream his name. "You taste so good, pet. Want to drink you in." Buffy came at those words and she shuddered, clutching the phone as she continued to pump her fingers in and out. "You should taste yourself, luv. It's indescribable. Do it." She hesitated, but finally brought her fingers to her lips, tentatively tasting her own flavor. He could hear her lips smack, and he nearly went over the edge.

"Oh God, Spike," she breathed, her hand against her chest as she relaxed against the bed. "You so need to come home…now."

"I'll be there soon, I promise," he whispered. "Now…what do you want to do to me."

"Oops," she giggled. "Sorry." He cleared her throat, thinking for a few moments. "I'm running my hands down your body, circling your nipples. I know you like that. I'm crawling over you, my legs straddling your hard cock." He could picture the blush in her cheeks as she said it. As much as a minx she was in the sack, there were certain words that she couldn't help but blush at.

"Fuck, Buffy," he moaned, as he continued to pump, closing his eyes as he pictured her over him.

"I kiss you again, making my way down your body, my tongue tasting your cool, sweet skin." She felt like the narrator of a very bad romance novel, but she could hear his breathing change. She was turning him on. And the thought of it turned her on again, and her fingers began to explore her wet center once again. She closed her eyes, her own needs directing her words. "I'm on my knees, looking up at you. I take you in my hand…and I lean forward. But I stop."

"Tease," he sputtered. She heard him groan next.

"I crawl back over you, kissing up the same trail, nipping at you. I kiss you hard, biting your lip, and I stroke you as I guide you inside."

"Christ, Buffy…I'm gonna…"

"Then I…" Her words trailed off, as she focused on her next orgasm that was just around the bend. Spike was silent now too, save for the ragged breaths. If she wasn't so caught up in the moment, she might have wondered if his breathing was just a habit from his human days, or if it was only one way to control himself from coming too soon.

"Buffy," he murmured again, letting out a primal groan. "That was…"

"Oh God," she groaned through gritted teeth. "I'm gonna…"

"Go ahead, kitten," he urged.

"Oh God, Spike!" she cried. The thoughts in her head were raging now. _Need you. Want you. Fuck me. Love you. God, I love you! Love you. Oh…_ "I love you…" And she came, her body shuddering, as arched against the mattress. She heard Spike suck in a sharp breath, and then it hit her. She'd said it aloud.

"I love you too," was all he answered.

"I…" The words wouldn't come now. She was too stunned. Too completely shocked at herself. There were several moments of silence.

"You didn't mean to say it, did you."

"No," she said, completely embarrassed now.

"S'alright. I understand." His voice was low, and she felt a twinge in her heart.

"It's not like that, Spike! I didn't meant to say it, but that…it doesn't mean I didn't mean it."

"What?"

"I…I didn't want to tell you over the phone," she groaned quietly. "Guess it's too late for that."

"You…you mean…"

"Yeah. I do," she said, a sheepish smile playing over her features, as if he was standing in front of her to see it.

"And when did you come to this conclusion, pet?" He sounded more in awe than anything.

"I kinda…blurted it out to Xander when I was yelling at him. I'm sorry, Spike. I did this all wrong."

"Don't apologize, pet! I just didn't expect you could ever say it to me. Not like this…"

"Like what?"

"Never mind, luv." His voice cracked. _She means it? I don't even have a soul. She never thought she could love me_. His thoughts raced, tormenting him. He had to hear it again. "I…I just can't believe you said…"

"I know. It kinda snuck up on me. I feel like a big moron. Idiot Buffy, more like it." He smiled on the other line. "Spike…I do though. You know…I do…" He said nothing. He was waiting for her to say it again. She took a shaky breath and covered her eyes, her face turning all shades of red. "I love you, Spike."

"I love you too, Buffy," he breathed. Now that the phone line and their own separate rooms were filled with uncertain tension, they were going to be able to pull through it. Those words had been said and meant, and now it was time to move on.

A few minutes and awkward sentences later, they were saying it again, and it was beginning to feel a lot more familiar on her part to say it and on his to hear it. Then they were saying goodbye, and Buffy was hanging up, only to fall back onto the mattress, completely stunned, completely sated, and completely ready for him to come home.

* * *

_Thanks for the support! I appreciate your feedback! Please let me know what you thought of Chapter 16!_


	17. Light in the Dark

Chapter 17: Light in the Dark

"It's working, it's working," Mr. Travers insisted, as he paced nervously back and forth in front of Dana's cell. "It has to be working."

"She's still struggling, Sir."

"Yes, but look at her vitals. Her heart rate has dropped to a normal level. She's even speaking in her sleep. She's coming around."

"When she does speak…"

"She talks about yellow eyes and razor sharp teeth," Travers pointed out. "She's a Slayer, and she's having dreams that coincide with her mission in life."

"She's still insane, Sir."

"I asked you to give me three days. Three days have come and gone, and she _has _made improvements. I have no doubt that she'll be calm enough soon that we can attempt a conversation."

"Normally, Mr. Travers, I'm willing to agree with you, but I don't see it with this one. I think she's a danger to the Council and to…" Of course, he knew Travers was in full control of the Council, and until his word would be taken over anyone else's.

"She's not a danger to anyone," Mr. Travers insisted. "If I'm wrong, she's still restrained, and there's no way she'll be able to get out of that room even if she were to break her bonds again." Travers shook his head. "She's going to pull out of this."

***

While Dawn was at school, and Tara was working on some homework from a class she'd missed a lot of lately due to the craziness that had surrounded them when Xander decided to stop coming around and Willow took off with Giles to England, Buffy had cleaned each room of the house from top to bottom.

She hated cleaning. But, cleaning helped her lose focus on the fact that all she wanted was for Spike to come home. It didn't help that she hadn't heard from him since that night on the phone. He'd been preparing to do whatever he was about to do, and she'd hoped to hear from him after he'd done it. She'd hoped he'd already be on his way home by now. But, nothing.

She had to admit that she was pretty ticked off. She tells him she loves him and he doesn't call back. That wasn't Spike, because he'd been in love with her for a long time now. What if he was hurt? What if he was perfectly fine and just letting her hang there waiting until he was ready to come home? If he was fine, he was going to get an earful next time she talked to him. Why couldn't he call?

A knot had formed in the pit of her stomach, and now she was starting to think that maybe now that she'd told him how she felt, and she was finally about to be happy, everything was going to fall apart. Honestly, it wouldn't have surprised her any.

Now, she sat on the front porch drinking ice water and watching the cars roll down the street. It was a nice day, but she had no interest in doing anything except waiting for Spike to call. Groaning, she muttered to herself, "when did I become the girl who waits for the guy to call?"

"When did you become the bridesmaid that doesn't show up for her dress appointment?" Buffy turned at the voice she least expected to hear.

"Anya?"

"And Willow's out of the country." She sat down on the porch step next to the Slayer. "This wedding is going to be a disaster."

"Sorry, Anya, but I didn't think…well, I really didn't think I'd be invited to the wedding anymore after…"

"Well, you're still invited, because you _have_ to be my bridesmaid. I don't have anybody else, you know. I don't know very many people. I have demon girlfriends, but they wouldn't look very nice in the dresses I have picked out." Buffy furrowed her brows.

"You…you _have_ talked to Xander, right? I mean, you do know he's not talking to me right or Tara right now."

"Yes. He told me," Anya said with a nod. "You're having sex with Spike, and Tara left Willow, because Willow was doing spells behind her back."

"And…you're here anyway."

"Xander's a man. His pride was hurt, because you'd rather have sex with vampires than with him, and he's mad at Tara because Willow's his best friend, and he doesn't want her to get hurt. And before you ask, no, he doesn't want to have sex with you. I asked. He's just mad, because you kept it from him, and you didn't give him a chance when you were in high school." Buffy blinked, her jaw dropping a little.

"And how do you feel?"

"When I was a demon, I had sex with plenty of vampires. I can't blame you. And we both know Willow's never been my favorite friend of Xander's. So I'm here."

"But don't you think you should talk to Xander, since it's his wedding too?"

"No," Anya said cheerfully, smiling and shrugging.

"Ooookay," Buffy muttered.

"Come on. The dress shop is open until five. Can you call Tara?"

"Tara's in class, but I…I can try. Anya, are you sure you want us in your wedding? Don't you think it would be awkward?"

"You want to talk awkward? Picture this: my guests, mostly demons with very prominent bodily differences than Xander's guests and family, who, by the way, I've never met. I think I'd rather have tension at the altar than in the audience." Buffy shook her head.

"I guess I'll go, but I don't think it's a good idea."

"Oh come on. By the time the wedding get's here, Xander might be over it."

"I don't know. He doesn't exactly like Spike, and he looks at me like I'm…well, like I'm some kind of a demon for loving Spike."

"Loving? So what Xander said is true? It's love?"

"Anya…"

"Fine. Alright. Just come with me and try on the dress so the alterations can be done. I'll try to soften Xander up. He really is miserable without you guys." She sounded disappointed. "I thought I was enough for him, but I guess he really does need friends."

"Fine. Fine, I'll come," Buffy offered. It would be nice to get out of the house and not wonder where the Hell Spike was, even if she was going to spend a couple of hours trying on a dress with Anya, who wasn't exactly her favorite person. It was better than being alone, though. "I'll call Tara and see if she can make it too."

***

He woke face down in the sand, dark walls surrounding him. His body ached. He felt as if a fire had been lit inside of him, and the moment he was conscious enough to feel every bit of pain that he was in, he writhed on the ground, curling up into a ball.

The past few days had been a blur. He'd found who he was looking for, and he'd been tested. Whatever the tests had been, he couldn't remember them. He could only feel the scratches and the burns on his body that were the results. He had no idea how many of his bones had been broken, but he was certain that they were the cause of his agony now. It didn't help matters any that since he'd gone under, he'd dreamed about every single person he'd ever tortured, killed, harmed. It was like a gruesome live-action slideshow playing in his head.

He groaned, slowly sitting up. Yes. Some bones were definitely broken from whatever the hell kind of trials he had been through. He knew they were healing, and he was thankful for the fact that he was a vampire just then, because he'd be in top shape, physically, in about another day. Still, the rest of the pain didn't even compare to that.

A memory, a flash of a young woman with fiery red hair went through his head. She was crying, cowering in some filthy, damp alley, while he came upon her, thirsty for a kill, a newborn vampire with Dru at his side.

"_Eat her up, my William_," she tittered madly. Another scream, as a younger face, a young woman's face appeared a few feet from them. "_But save room for dessert_." He lunged at her, sinking his teeth into her sweet, young flesh.

"AHHHHGHH!" he screamed, clutching at the back of his head, as the vivid memory sparked his chip to fire. That was new. "It's not real! It's not real!" He felt his stomach heave, and he crouched over, vomiting into the sand. That was new too. He hadn't thrown up since he was a human.

A sliver of sunlight filtered in from somewhere in the cave, and he reached out for it, needing to be sure. When the sunlight met his pale flesh, it sizzled, and he screamed again, throwing himself into the farthest, darkest corner, as memories of his past victims continued to torture him, making him beg for unconscious, for death, for anything that would make the pain go away.

And then another memory—a happy memory—filtered through his mind. _"I love you_…" He groaned, holding his head in his hands. He'd through good and hard after getting off the phone with her that night about forgetting this and going back to her. She loved him without the soul. Why do it? But, the more he thought about it, the more he had to do it. He had to be sure in his own mind that he was good enough for her. Without a soul, he couldn't be sure of anything when it came to love. He'd never been sure of how he could love her. He just knew he did. And he knew he had to do this. He wanted it. He wanted more than anything to look Buffy in the eyes and tell her that he loved her with everything in him, and that he had a soul mate, because he couldn't have that. Not without a soul.

Two years ago, he'd have thrown himself in front of a picture window on a sunny day for having those thoughts, but now it was all he wanted. To be hers. For her to be his. For whatever bit of time they had left together in her life.

"_No! Please! Please don't!" _The bad memories invaded his head again, and he screamed out, holding onto a sharp rock, trying to keep himself from falling over.

"Buffy," he breathed. "Buffy." As soon as the painful memories rushed in, he thought of Buffy, and though those memories were still there in the foreground, the intensity of the pain they caused him was somewhat muted by thinking of her. By thinking of the fact that whatever pain this was causing was worth it, because this was what he needed to be able to give her everything. Well, everything except for a stroll through the park in the daytime. But he could give her all of himself with the part of him that had been missing since Dru sired him.

***

"The color's nice," Buffy said with a pained, fake-smile. "I like green. It'll look nice with Willow's hair…you know, if she's back before the wedding."

"Yeah. It goes…with everybody," Tara said quietly, examining herself in the mirror. The dresses were shiny and green, and while they weren't the most gorgeous dresses ever created, they could have been a lot worse.

"You both look so beautiful. Of course, not more beautiful than I'll look in my wedding dress. All eyes should be on the bride."

"Yes, Anya," Buffy said with a forgiving smile. "All eyes on you." Under her breath, she muttered, "whatever takes the focus off of us."

"What?" Anya asked.

"Hey! Why don't you try on your dress again?" Anya's eyes lit up!

"I should! I do look very attractive in it." She nodded self-assuredly, and she pranced off to find the dress. Buffy turned to Tara, and their expression both read the same.

"Oh my God," Buffy whispered. "We're radioactive!"

"Yeah," Tara grimaced. "But Anya likes them. Besides, isn't it tradition that the bridesmaids have horrible dresses?"

"Sadly, I think so," Buffy muttered. "I'd never do that to my bridesmaids. I'd let them wear whatever they wanted…" Tara raised an eyebrow.

"Thinking about weddings, Buffy?"

"Well, sure. I mean, look where we are. A dozen Bridezillas running around looking for the same dress will make you think about it."

"You know what I mean."

"You know, I think I wanna try some more dresses on," Buffy said quickly.

"Wow, you're _really_ good at avoiding difficult conversations." Buffy smiled at Tara's words.

"It's what I do best...well, next to slaying, that is." Anya came walking around the corner wearing the dress she'd picked out. It was gorgeous. White with delicate lacework and beads that sparkled but weren't too tacky.

"Wow, Anya," Buffy said with a surprised smile. "It's gorgeous."

"I know," Anya grinned, twirling around in front of a mirror. "I'm so glad I decided to wear a traditional human gown instead of a traditional demon gown. This much more appealing to the eye." She twirled again, and Buffy and Tara exchanged glances. "I can't wait until Xander sees me in this. His jaw will drop!" She looked at the bridesmaids. "His jaw will drop, right? I don't want to wear it if it doesn't have the right effect."

"I'm sure his eyes'll pop out like a love struck cartoon character," Buffy assured Anya. Anya smiled.

"Oh! That's sweet." She smiled and hurried off to change back into her regular clothes. Buffy and Tara changed back into their own clothes as well, after the sales lady came through and quickly placed pins in the places that needed adjusting.

When all was said and done, Buffy found herself prepaying for alterations. She grumbled as she closed her billfold. She felt a little childish that she was feeling so grumpy about having to pay any money toward anything that had to do with Xander's wedding day. It wasn't like he wanted her to be happy or anything, so why was she going along with this?

With a sigh, she knew. Because they were friends, even if he was acting like a toddler having trouble sharing his toys.

As she was waiting for Tara and Anya to finish up, she spotted a head of dark hair ducking past the window. Furrowing her brows, she called over to the other girls.

"Hey, I'm gonna wait outside." Tara waved at her, and Buffy headed outside, where sure enough, Xander Harris was leaving against the brick building. Buffy crossed her arms defensively but walked over to him. Right now, she didn't care if he didn't want to talk to her.

"What are you doing? Are you _trying _to get Anya to call off the wedding? I'm pretty sure she'd do it, considering she's pretty into those myths, like not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding."

"Chill, Buffy. I was just coming to see if she was done."

"Yeah, well, she's finishing up inside."

"Oh. Ok. Good." Buffy cleared her throat.

"It's your wedding too. You could just tell her you don't want us there, and…"

"I do want you there, Buff. You, Tara, and Willow." Buffy looked at him as if he'd grown a second head. "What I said the other night…I'm sorry. I talked to Willow on the phone last night, and she's not even mad at Tara. She's upset, yeah, but she knows what she did was wrong, and she knows why Tara left."

"Oh," Buffy said quietly. "Well, that's good, I guess."

"I don't like that you're with Spike. I hate it, actually. The thought of you and him it makes me sick."

"Do you have a point?"

"Yeah…I'm getting there. My point is that you can make your own decisions. Right now, your decision is to be with Spike, and I'm sure that someday you'll figure out that's the wrong choice for you." Buffy gritted her teeth. "Everybody has to make mistakes."

"What makes you think that this thing I have with Spike is a mistake?"

"Well, the problems kind of list themselves, Buff," Xander said with a raised eyebrow. "He…"

"If you say something about his lack of a soul one more time, I'm seriously going to punch you in the face. Hard."

"Whoa." He held his hands up. "While that's number two on my list, the first is that he's not good enough for you. He's a killer with a muzzle on. He's…he's Hannibal Lecter!" Buffy rolled her eyes. "The only thing stopping him from killing you is that chip. He can't so much as bite you. But all it takes is one little malfunction…one crack in the glass, and he can break through and…" Buffy flinched.

"That's enough, Xander," she warned.

"I'm worried about you, Buff. We've been through a lot together, and I know he's gonna hurt you someday. I guess I'm just disappointed, because I thought you'd have better sense than to…"

"I can't help that I love him, Xander." He flinched like she'd actually hit him. "When I came back, I tried not to care about him. But I couldn't help it. It bothered me a lot that I was starting to care about him, but he hasn't given me one reason since I've been back not to trust him. I do trust him. With my life. With Dawn's life."

"Maybe that's number one on my list. You can't trust a vampire. Not even Angel. Look how he hurt you."

"This has _nothing_ to do with Angel, Xander. Just…stop acting like you even have a clue about what's going on."

"I know enough. I know too much."

"What's going on?" Buffy turned around to see Anya and Tara coming out of the store. Xander cleared his throat. He immediately moved over to put his arm around his future wife. But he looked at Tara.

"Tara, I wanted to say sorry for everything I said. I was upset, and I jumped to conclusions. I talked to Willow last night, and she…she said she understood why you did what you did." It was Tara's turn to flinch, but she just nodded.

"I…it's okay. I mean, you've known her forever, so I'm…I'm glad she has a friend that's got her back, you know?" Xander nodded, and he looked back at Buffy.

"I just want to see my friends happy." Buffy really couldn't believe him. He only wanted his friends to be happy if he was happy with the reasons they were happy.

"I've gotta go. Dawn'll be home soon. Tara? You coming with?"

"I have a study session. I'll probably be home late."

"Alright," she shrugged. "See ya later." Giving a small wave toward Xander and Anya, she trudged off toward home.

* * *

_Please keep the feedback coming! I appreciate your support and your comments!_


	18. Safe

Chapter 18: Safe

"Something's wrong," Buffy breathed, as she paced the living room, phone in her hand, clueless as to whom she should call.

"Buffy, calm down," Dawn urged.

"He hasn't called, Dawnie. Something had to have happened. He…he would have called."

"It's alright," Dawn soothed. Spike had been gone nearly a month, and she'd still not heard a word from him since that night on the phone. Where was he? Was he ok? Did he even exist anymore? Her heart pounded at the thought of losing him before she could truly let him into her life.

To top it all off, Willow's calls were becoming less frequent, as her studies and counseling at the school in England were becoming more time consuming. Xander still wasn't coming around, except to take Dawn places if she needed a ride. But if he and Buffy happened to run into each other at the Magic Box, which happened about once a day, they'd have polite conversation that stayed within the bounds of neutral conversation.

"I can't take this," Buffy breathed, flopping down on the couch. "What if he doesn't…"

"Don't _even_ finish that sentence," Dawn said with a glare that, had Buffy not been the Chosen One, might have scared her a little bit. "He's totally in love with you. Whatever he's doing, he's probably got a good reason, and he's gonna come back."

"You're right," Buffy said with a nod. Over a week ago, she'd finally stopped letting herself think about how much she had changed since she'd started falling for Spike. She'd stopped letting herself think what she would have done before the feelings for the vampire arrived. The reality was that those feelings _were _there, and she accepted it that way. Still, at this moment, she knew it would be much easier if she didn't love him. "Stupid vampire. He's gonna get it when he gets back."

"That's the spirit," Dawn said with an encouraging smile.

"If he's not hurt, he's gonna be in a world of pain by the time I'm done with him."

"Yep. Just don't hurt him too bad, because, well, it's Spike, and he's your boyfriend."

"Right," Buffy said with a nod. She looked at the clock.

"You should probably finish getting ready. Big party and all. Just make sure Mr. Grabby Hands keeps his paws in his own pants." Dawn made a face. "I mean…in his pockets." She rolled her eyes.

"I don't have to go."

"Yes you do. You deserve a life, but if I smell alcohol or smoke on you when you come in the door, you're dead," Buffy warned.

"No drinking. Promise. What I can't promise is that there won't be any making out."

"I don't need to hear that. Just…be careful, Dawnie."

"Yeah, like you were little miss perfect at my age. You burned down a gym, remember."

"That's so not what I'm talking about, Dawn." Dawn sighed and nodded.

"I know. Jake's sweet. He's…well, he's not like other guys."

"I've heard that one a _lot_," Buffy said with a roll of her eyes. "Look, Dawnie, I'm your sister and I love you, but I'm not opposed to breaking my no-kill policy toward humans if he so much as hurts…"

"Buffy, relax!" Dawn exclaimed. "I'm fifteen. I'm so not ready to…"

"Uh-huh. Tell that to your hormones when they start talking back to you." Dawn rolled her eyes.

"Be careful, Dawnie, I'm serious. You should be dating and having fun, but not too much fun. Remember, my first time ended with my boyfriend losing his soul and going on a rampant killing spree."

"I'm not planning on having sex with any cursed vampires tonight, Buffy. Seriously though, I can stay home." Buffy sighed, shaking her head.

"It's ok. Just be home by eleven, ok?"

"Alright. You're sure…"

"Dawn, go get ready!" Buffy exclaimed, feigning exasperation. Dawn smiled, hugging her sister and then running up the stairs, two steps at a time to prepare for her party date with Jake.

***

A thud outside the door startled Buffy awake, and she sat up on the couch, realizing it was near time for Dawn to get home from the party. She wondered if that was her coming in, and as she stood up to peer out the window, she didn't see a car or anything.

"Little jerk didn't even walk her to the door," she muttered to herself. "Coming, Dawnie!" She made her way to the front door and unlocked it. But when she opened it up, it wasn't a partied-out Dawn standing before it. Instead, it was a weary, half-conscious Spike leaning against the doorframe. "Spike! Oh my God!" He practically fell into her, and she helped him stand.

"Buffy," he murmured, his bloodshot eyes closing for a moment. Had she not known exactly what a drunk Spike was like, she would have suspected that he was, in fact, drunk. But there was something wrong, and she helped him into the house. He collapsed on the couch, and Buffy knelt next to him.

His skin was even paler than usual, and his nose was bleeding. She quickly grabbed a tissue and wiped at his nose, as he groaned, fighting to stay awake.

"What happened?" she asked softly, feeling the tears stinging her eyes. "Where were you? How'd you get back?"

"I…" he muttered. "I needed…" His eyelids fluttered, and then he was out. Buffy quickly began to shake him, trying to get him back, but he was passed out. She bit back the urge to cry, wondering what he'd been through and why she hadn't heard from him. Her anger had melted away the minute she'd seen him leaning against the doorframe, but now all that filled her was curiosity and worry.

She looked down at him, realizing that the shirt he wore was ripped in several places, and was that…yes…it was a large, burned-through hole at the shoulder. What the Hell had happened to him?

Firsts things first, she needed to clean him up. He had a few cuts on his hands, and she could see some fresh blood seeping through the black material on his chest.

Rushing to the kitchen, she grabbed a bowl, filling it with warm water. She grabbed a fresh sponge out from a drawer near the sink and hurried back into the living room. He was still unconscious on the couch, and the first thing she had to do was get him out of that shirt. So, she helped him sit long enough to get the shirt off of him, and she gasped at what she saw beneath that. Gashes. Not cuts. Gashes, that if he wasn't a vampire, would require stitches.

Dipping the sponge into the bowl, she wrung it out and began to gently dab at the gashes on his chest. They looked like….like knife wounds. Shuddering, she ever-so-gently cleaned him up, and watched as his eyes rolled back and forth beneath his eyelids. She gently brushed the sponge over his chest again, and this time, he winced.

"Spike?"

"Make it stop," he muttered. "It hurts…"

"Spike…it's ok. I'm here," she whispered, placing her hand against his cheek. "I'm here…" She leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I love you," she breathed against his skin. "You're safe." He relaxed again at her soothing tone, and she continued to clean him up while he slept.

***

By the time eleven o'clock rolled around, Buffy had bandaged up Spike's chest wounds, and he was knocked out on the couch. When she heard a car pull up in front and the door close, she peeked out the front window to see Jake get out of the driver's seat and come around to open Dawn's door. He had some manners, she would give him that, but he was still sixteen, and that worried her. She knew what sixteen year old boys were like. Well, she knew what fifteen year old girls were like, for that matter. It hadn't been too long ago that she was that age.

She turned away when she noticed they were making out, and she turned her attention back to Spike, sitting down on a cushion, trying not to bump his feet. He looked much better now. He was his usual pale, not the horribly pale he'd been when he'd come inside. She was anxious for him to wake up now so that she could find out exactly what had happened to him.

The door opened slowly, as if Dawn was trying to avoid waking anybody up, but when she saw Buffy sitting on the couch, her exhausted expression turned to one of surprise.

"Buffy!" she squeaked. "I'm not late, am I?"

"No, you're right on time," Buffy said with a distracted nod. Dawn's gaze traveled down to a head of bleached blonde hair resting on a pillow.

"Oh my God!" she hissed, dropping her purse on the floor and hurrying into the living room. "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know," Buffy muttered. "He turned up about a half hour ago, and he was barely conscious."

"Buffy…is he…is he ok?"

"I think so. He's starting to look a little better. But I haven't gotten to really talk to him yet." Buffy looked up at her sister, ready to ask her about her date, but Dawn could tell her sister's mind was on Spike, and anything she said to her probably wouldn't be processed. "How'd it go?" Dawn tensed a little but smiled, shrugging.

"It was ok. Somebody spiked the punch. Don't worry, I didn't drink any of it."

"Good," Buffy said with a nod. "And Jake?"

"Jake's really sweet." Her smile brightened. "He asked me to be his girlfriend." Buffy half-smiled, wondering exactly what the point was when two people went from dating to being boyfriend/girlfriend. Of course, things had been a little backward with her and Spike. They'd had the hot, fantastic sex first, and then they'd started to date. Her eyes nearly bulged. "He asked me to go out again tomorrow night."

"He didn't try to…you know, he's not trying to pressure you, is he?" Dawn's jaw tensed.

"Buffy, Jake's a really good guy, and…"

"That's not what I asked, Dawn." A small groan from Spike interrupted the conversation, and Dawn let out a breath she'd been holding in. "Spike?" He only groaned. Buffy placed her hand over his bandages, preparing to check and make sure he wasn't bleeding or anything. But, when he felt her hand against his chest, he reached up, taking it in his own hand. He didn't open his eyes, but he squeezed her hand, and she swallowed hard. "It's ok, Spike."

"It's good to have you back," Dawn whispered.

"Hear that?" Buffy asked. "Get some rest, Spike. You'll feel better in the morning." Spike relaxed again, and Buffy motioned toward the kitchen. "You hungry?"

"Nah. I filled up on junk food at the party. I couldn't eat another bite. I'm gonna get a shower and go to bed."

"Okay," Buffy said slowly. "G'night."

"Night," Dawn chirped before rushing up the stairs. Buffy stared after her for a few seconds, before Spike shifted on the couch, and she turned her attention to sun-proofing the house so she didn't wake up to a pile of ashes covering the couch.

***

Buffy woke in the morning with a sore neck. When she opened her eyes, she realized she was staring at a leg of the coffee table. Groaning, she stood up, rubbing her neck. She looked over to the couch, where Spike was no longer laying. Her heart began to race, and she wondered if she'd dreamed it all, but when she stood up and tripped over the same leg she'd been staring at, the water in the bowl sitting on the top of the coffee table sloshed around, spilling out onto the glass top.

"Oh," she muttered, narrowing her eyes and looking through the dim house. When she walked into the kitchen, Dawn was sitting there in her pajamas, looking far from happy.

"If you're wondering where your boyfriend is, he's hogging the hot water. Like he needs it. He's a friggin' vampire." She rolled her eyes.

"Whoa, moody," Buffy muttered.

"Sorry. I have a meeting before school, and I don't want to smell like cigarettes all day." Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"Oh come on, Buffy. It was a high school party. Of course kids are going to be smoking. I didn't. But geez, I smell like a bar."

"How would you know what a…oh, never mind." Buffy rubbed at her sore neck again. Sleeping on the floor was only pleasant when it followed animal sex with a certain platinum-haired vampire. Even then, the results were the same. "Ow."

"There's not gonna be any water left. Tara had a shower before she left, and…"

"What time is it?"

"Seven."

"OK. Doesn't your school have showers in the gym?"

"Yeah, but Buffy, they smell like B.O." Buffy crinkled her nose.

"Can you make due for one morning? Spike's been through a lot…of which I know nothing about right now, but…"

"Fine, fine. But you're gonna be the one to tell him that if he wants a shower in the morning he's either gotta get up with the chickens, or he has to wait 'til after I'm gone."

"Noted. Go on." Dawn cringed and headed upstairs to get dressed in her gym clothes, packing her school clothes in with her books. When she was gone, Buffy went back to the kitchen and dug around in the fridge. She found an unopened container of pig's blood from the butcher. She wondered at what point pig's blood went bad. She was definitely not going to smell it, but hey, it wasn't like it'd kill him to drink a little bit of old blood.

She poured the sticky liquid into a mug and put it in the microwave. When she heard footsteps coming down the stairs, a whirlwind of questions and emotions flooded through her.

The loud beep of the microwave distracted her, and she turned to retrieve his blood, just as he walked in. When she turned around, her curious eyes met his tired ones from across the counter. She gave him a quick once over. He was wearing the shirt she'd taken from his crypt, and apparently the same jeans he'd been in last night. But, he looked refreshed.

"I thought you might be hungry," she offered, handing the mug out to him. He didn't really have much of an appetite, but at the first scent of blood, he felt the hunger beginning to rise.

"Thanks, pet."

He reached out, taking the mug from her, drinking the blood down in a few quick gulps, his features changing in the process. She didn't take her eyes off of him.

When he was done, his features changed again, and he was no longer on the bumpy side. She smiled a little and took the cup from him, rinsing it out so the blood wouldn't dry to the sides. She sat down across from him at the counter, and they could only look at each other. He had so much to tell her and didn't know where to begin, while she had so many questions to ask, and didn't know which ones to ask first.

"Are we gonna talk about it?" she finally spoke.

"What part do you want to hear first?" Buffy shivered at that response, not quite sure how to take it.

"How'd you get back here?"

"Honestly, pet, I'm not quite sure of that myself." Buffy narrowed her eyes at him. "The past few weeks…I don't remember much about what was going on around me. I've been sort of…in my own head."

"Okay," she said quietly. "Where did you go?" Spike cleared his throat.

"Africa."

"Africa!" she exclaimed. "What…"

"It's the only place I could go. I had to do it then, because I didn't know when I'd get the chance again."

"Do what, exactly?" He tried to read her features, wondering how and when he should give her the news. But, he winced in pain first.

"Spike?"

"Could you help me, luv? I need a little help with the bandages." He motioned toward his chest.

"Oh. Sure. Um, follow me." He followed her up the stairs and into the large bathroom. He sat down on the edge of the bath tub, and she pulled a stood over to sit across from him. He removed his shirt slowly, and she could see that some of the faded bruises he'd had last night were completely gone, whereas some of the darker ones were barely visible now. The gashes had healed up a little, and they weren't quite as deep anymore.

Buffy reached for the peroxide, but he stopped her.

"No need for any of that. They'll heal fast enough on their own."

"Right," Buffy said quietly. She bit her lower lip, as she began to re-gauze and bandage his chest. "Spike, what the hell happened to you?" Spike reached up, taking her hand in his for a minute, holding her palm flat against his covered wounds. "You didn't call. You…you didn't…"

"I need to hear you say it, pet," he whispered. "I need to know you mean it before I tell you what I'm about to tell you."

"Spike…you're…you're kinda scaring me." She blinked a few times, trying to figure out what he was hiding.

"When you said it on the phone, I wanted to come back to you; forget what I was gonna do completely. But I had to…but I…I need you to say it." The softness of his voice and the vulnerability in his eyes made a lump form in her throat, and she fought to find her voice again.

Swallowing hard, she put her free hand against his cheek, and she leaned in, brushing her lips faintly against his. When she pulled back, she looked right into his eyes, her cheeks blushing a bit, but she didn't care. She had to get used to saying it aloud.

"Spike, I love you." He let out a slow breath, afraid to blink as he read her emotions. A small smile curled up on her lips, and she continued to blush. He smiled back, feeling nothing else behind her words except for the truth.

"I love you," he said with a nod. "I don't think I would've left if you'd said it before…"

"I don't understand, Spike. Why did you leave?" His eyes searched hers for a second before he looked away. He let go of her hand, and she continued to work on patching him up. "I'm not mad anymore. I'm just…I just need to know why you had to go." He swallowed hard, trying to find his own words. Finally, he opened his mouth again.

"I wanted to be good for you."

"You _are _good for me, Spike." She crinkled her brows in confusion. What was he getting at?

"I…I wanted to make sure…to be sure…I wanted this for us."

"Wanted what? I don't…" Spike placed his hand over hers again.

"Spike…"

"I didn't know it would hurt, but it…it was worth it." Buffy shook her head.

"You're not making any sense. Where'd you get these cuts, Spike? Is that what you're talking about?"

"I knew going in that I'd be tested." His voice had the hint of a quiver in it. "I knew if I didn't pass the tests, I wasn't worth of…of anything." She felt a twinge of sadness in her heart. Had he really not felt that he meant so much to her? "But I passed, Buffy. And I got what I came for. I just…I didn't expect it'd hurt the way it did. Angelus told me about it once. I didn't really think he was serious. But I could feel them. Every last one of 'em. I remembered every single person I ever killed, and I could feel the pain." Buffy's features changed so slowly as he spoke, but when he looked back into her eyes, they were wide with knowledge.

"Oh my God." She put down the bandages, her hands suddenly sweating. She rubbed them against her pants, trying to dry them off.

"First I thought I made a mistake. I tried to…I tried to cut it out."

"Spike…you…"

"But then I thought of you, and the pain wasn't so bad. I know how it sounds, but that's how it happened, luv. And the next thing I knew…I was on your doorstep. This is the first time I've been able to…to even think about anything else, pet. Seeing your face brought me out of it. I can't explain what it's like…"

"Your…you…"

"I can feel it, Buffy. My soul." Her face turned a bit of a paler shade.

"Why'd you…"

"I don't figure you'd understand it. But it's something I had to have. I had to prove to you…I had to prove that I was the kind of man you could love." She wasn't sure she could find the words, but she forced them out. The same expression lingering on her face, she took a deep breath.

"You didn't have to prove that. I already knew." It hit him then, and he reached out for her hands, squeezing her warm fingers in his cold ones.

"I guess…I just needed to prove it to myself, luv." He looked down. "I've never experienced anything like it, Buffy. I can see all of them. Like pictures in my head." His voice broke. "They were terrified, and I…I wanted them to be." Buffy didn't even bat a lash. Instead, her hand moved back to his covered wounds.

"You wanted to go through all of that just to prove to yourself that I could really love you?"

"Didn't exactly fancy the pain part, but…yeah." Buffy blinked a few times before standing up. He was a little stunned by her actions.

"If that wasn't romantic, I'd punch you in the face."

"I…what?"

"You know…everybody's been questioning everything I've thought…everything I've done since I came back. That's exactly what you did when you went to Africa." She knew she shouldn't be getting mad right now, especially when he had enough on his mind, but she couldn't help herself. "There's nothing wrong with me. The only thing that's different is that I gave up trying to hate you. And when I did that, I fell in love." She shook her head, as he stood up to face her. "And you couldn't even see…"

"Buffy," he muttered, taking her hands in his again. She didn't pull back, but she didn't look him in the eye. She looked down at their joined hands. "I knew it was you. I knew nothing was wrong. But I didn't want to hurt you. I needed to make sure that…that if something ever did go wrong, that I wouldn't hurt you."

"The chip."

"I don't care about the soddin' chip, Buffy. I could hurt you in other ways, even if it the chip did fire." His voice was careful, and she shivered. "I couldn't let it happen. I wanted to get my soul back, because you've had enough pain for three lifetimes."

"Vampires aren't supposed to be selfless either," she muttered. "You scared the hell out of me, Spike."

"I'm sorry, luv." He swallowed hard, and he sat back down. She sat down too, now able to look into his eyes again.

"What you did…I don't know how…"

"I didn't just do it for you, pet," he said with a soft smile. "I did it for us. It's safe to say that now, right?" Buffy couldn't help but smile, and she leaned in, kissing him again.

"Yeah. I think it's pretty safe."

* * *

_Author's Note: Thanks again for the awesome feedback! Please keep it coming, and I'll keep the chapters coming too!_


	19. Help

**Chapter 19: Help**

"Oh my God," Buffy breathed, as she lay naked, draped over Spike in her bed. "I forgot how good this was." He nuzzled his nose against her hair, taking in her scent, closing his eyes. "I didn't…you're ok, right? I didn't think that asking you if you'd rather sleep on my bed would result in a trail of clothes down the hall leading my room." She kicked one of her socks off of the mattress.

"I'm not complaining, pet," he said breathlessly. She smiled, continuing to lay on him, gently resting her chin in the middle of his chest, as her hand caressed the bandages covering his soon-to-be non-existent wounds. "S'all I could think about when I wasn't with you." He wrapped his arms snugly around her. "Don't know what it is about you, Slayer, but you make this easier."

"Make what easier?" Spike thought for a moment, letting out a slow breath. Buffy lazily traced circles on the uninjured part of his chest, waiting for his answer.

"When I first started re-living it…feeling what they felt…I wanted to haul myself out into the sun and get it over with. Thought that would make things right, but I can't ever make up for what I did. I know that. Seeing you…seeing the way you're looking at me just like now…it helps me."

"Good," Buffy said with a nod, patting his cheek. "You didn't know what was going to happen to you when you were sired. You can't blame yourself for the things you did before…"

"Can't I? Up until I got that bloody chip put in my skull, I was still…" He took a deep breath. "We've been saying I'm not like other vampires. Not the textbook case. But what if that's not true? I fell in love with you, sure, but I still craved blood. I even craved the hunt. If I could've killed someone…"

"Spike," Buffy cut him off, "do you still crave blood?"

"Well, yeah. I'm a vampire."

"Do you want to kill?" Spike furrowed his brows at that question. His own answer surprised him.

"Not really, no." She could feel him shudder beneath him. "Those dreams were enough to keep me off of that for the rest of my life. It'd be better for everybody if we didn't switch up my diet. No human blood."

"Well, I wasn't exactly volunteering any of my friends. Not like you could, Mr. Chippy."

"That's Mr. Soul…y…now." He made a face.

"Yeah, you really should leave the cute names to me," she teased, moving up to kiss him. "I'm just glad you're back. Next time you decide to take off to Africa or something like that, tell me."

"Don't plan on going anywhere just now, pet." He smiled at her. When she looked into his eyes, she could see he was still going through an emotional war inside. He probably would be for quite some time.

"So…you really are ok?"

"If you're asking if I'm going to go off brooding and trying to atone for all the nasty things I did in my past for the rest of eternity, no. Nothing I do is gonna change what happened. Doesn't make it any less wrong. It's something I'm gonna have to live with. We've all got our demons. Guess I just have a little bit more than most." He ran his thumb over her lower lip. "I figure I can throw myself into working with you again. We make a good team, don't we pet?" Buffy nodded.

"Yeah. We do," she agreed. Despite the fact that she knew she shouldn't think so, part of her was glad that he wasn't going to loathe himself for the rest of time for what he'd done. He was a vampire after all. He didn't have to have a soul at all, but he'd gone for one. That was enough atonement, in her book, and even that was a lot. She sighed, curling her fingers into his hair.

"What is it, pet?"

"Nothing. I'm just glad I don't have to sleep alone anymore." Spike raised an eyebrow. "I mean…well, not on the nights you stay over." Her cheeks blushed.

"Oh. There for a minute I thought you were asking me to move in." Buffy smiled nervously at that.

"Well, you're here most of the time anyway," she explained. "But you've got your crypt, and it's safer there. At least at the crypt you don't have to worry about somebody accidentally leaving a curtain open or…" He hushed her with a kiss.

"We don't have to make any plans right now, pet."

"You're right," she nodded. _Lame, Buffy. Really lame_, she thought to herself. She heard his stomach growl and smiled. "C'mon. Let's get you some more blood."

***

It had started off normally. They'd been down in the kitchen. Buffy was picking at part of a double fudge brownie, while Spike nursed a mug of blood. When Buffy had left the room to use the bathroom, Spike's thoughts had begun to wander, and by the time Buffy returned to the kitchen, he was slumped over on the bench, gripping either side of his head and writhing in pain.

After the pain had stopped, Buffy had helped him into the living room to sit on the couch. His nose was bleeding, and when it had finally stopped, she'd asked him what was wrong. He stared at her, realizing this was a lot more serious than he'd imagined before.

"I was thinking about a girl," he muttered. "Young thing, about fifteen. It was 1922, and she was walking home from some town social or something." He closed his eyes, rubbing his temples as the pain throbbed in his head. "I cornered her in an alley. Taunted her for a while." He winced at the memory, and he caught the same wince in Buffy's features. "I thought it made the kill more exciting. Fear. I could smell it pouring out of her. Then I snapped her neck." He groaned a little, the pain intensifying for a minute.

"You…you mean the memory triggered the chip to fire?" Spike nodded weakly.

"Yeah. S'happened before. Just thought it was part of the process of adjusting to the soul and everything. But…it's getting worse." Buffy felt that lump growing in her throat again, while a knot twisted tightly in her stomach.

"Ok. Then we have to do something about it."

"Like what, Buffy? The bloody Initiative is…"

"The Initiative. Riley!" she exclaimed, her eyes brightening. "I can call him."

"How're you gonna do that?" he asked, rubbing his temples.

"He left a number I could contact him at…if there's an emergency."

"You think it'll work? You think they're allowed to just…just send their numbers off for people to reach them? It isn't that simple, pet."

"I have to try, Spike," she encouraged. "Getting your soul back shouldn't mean you should be in agony like this. I'm guessing whatever happened when you got your soul back triggered a defect. I don't know the jargon, obviously, but Riley would know someone…"

"Fantastic. My fate's going to be left up to Captain Cardboard. I should just stake myself now and…"

"Stop that," Buffy wanted. "Don't move. I'll be back." She headed upstairs to her bedroom and began rummaging through old letters and other pieces of information she'd written down. Somewhere buried between a phone bill and an e-mail account password was the number Riley had scrawled down for her before their breakup. It was an in case of emergency number that someone would always answer.

Taking a deep breath, she picked up the phone and dialed. Two rings later, and a gruff voice picked up.

"Pauly's Pizza."

"Pauly?" Buffy asked. "Um…I'm looking for a Riley Finn. Um…he said this number would be…"

"Don't know a Finn. Sounds like you got the wrong number."

"Oh, I get it," Buffy guessed, "this is one of those government cover ups. Oh…wow, I probably shouldn't have said that. Look, if a guy name Finn comes in…tell him that Buffy called, and there's a problem with the chip. He'll know what I'm talking about."

"Yeah, and if you see any pigs flying around, let me know, 'cause we're running out of bacon." The line went dead, and Buffy scoffed.

"Jerk." She hurried back down the stairs, where Spike was in the throes of what seemed to be another misfiring of the chip.

"Any luck?"

"Pauly the pizza guy needs to learn a few things about customer service." She frowned, shaking her head and running her fingers through her hair. "We can't do anything right now, but when the sun goes down, we'll go out and break in the back way. There's got to be something there we can use to fix this."

"Buffy," Spike murmured, "if it can't be fixed…"

"We're not thinking that way." She tried to sound positive, but she sounded more concerned than anything. "Sit here. I'm gonna give Willow a call and find out if there's anything I can make you to help with the pain."

"Pain's gone now," he muttered.

"Just in case," she offered. He nodded, and she headed off to make a telephone call.

***

"This is horrible," Spike grimaced; taking a slow, second sip of the brew Buffy had made for him.

"Is it helping?" He'd had another episode with the chip just after she'd gotten off the phone with Willow.

"Yeah," he murmured. "But it tastes like poison."

"Good thing you're a vampire and can't be harmed by anything but pointy wooden stakes or sunlight." She smiled at him, and if it wouldn't have hurt his head, he'd have growled at her. "Come on. Drink it down."

"I'm not a child, you know."

"You're stalling." Spike grumbled something into the cup but drank it down anyway. Buffy got up again and continued pacing. But she was distracted from her thoughts when the doorbell rang. Furrowing her brows, she went over to answer it, and she was surprised to see Xander standing there.

"Xander?"

"Hey, Buffy," he said quietly. "I, um, I was on the phone with Willow when you called her. She beeped back over…said something sounded wrong. Is everything ok?" Buffy leaned out the door a little, trying to keep it as closed as possible.

"Uh, yeah," she nodded. "Everything's great. Just, um, needed a little girl talk." Xander caught a faint whiff of cologne. She forced a smile, though she wondered why she should even have to. He knew he still wasn't her favorite person right now.

"Are you sure? We might have some differences right now, but I still care about you, Buffy."

"I'm fine, Xander. Aren't you supposed to be at work, anyway?"

"I took a long lunch. Are you gonna let me in?" Buffy cringed inwardly.

"I'm really…I was just getting ready to…"

"What's going on?" he asked, reading her like a book. Buffy didn't have time to answer, however, because a loud scream from the living room spoke volumes. "What the…" He brushed past her, barging into the house only to see Spike writhing in pain on the couch. Buffy rushed past Xander and sat down next to Spike.

"What happened?"

"Another memory," he murmured. "I…it just hit me. It was worse than the last time. I…AHHH!" He gripped either side of his head, and Buffy winced, hating seeing and hearing the pain he was in, when he was normally a very strong individual.

"What's happening to him?" Xander asked, eyes wide with concern. Buffy felt like spitting out some childish remark like 'why do you care, or what's it to you?' but she couldn't. Not right now.

"His chip's misfiring." She handed Spike the brew that Willow had told her about, and he took another sip.

"Isn't working," he groaned.

"Come on. Let's get you upstairs."

"No…basement. It's darker," he groaned. Buffy helped him up, but the pain was so strong that he had trouble holding himself up. But, with her support, the two managed to get down the stairs together, while Xander looked on in shock.

"We'll figure something out. I'll call Giles, and…"

"He won't know a bloody thing," Spike groaned. "Don't think 'Behavioral Modification Software Throughout the Ages' would be a topic in any of his books." Buffy frowned.

"You're right." Sighing, she stood up angrily. "There has to be _something_ we can do." A few more back and forth paces, and then, "I'm gonna try to get Riley again."

"Don't bother, luv," he whispered, reaching out and gripping her hand. "Even if you did get through, don't think he'd wanna help me."

"I have to do something. I just…" He grabbed his head again, and he gritted his teeth. "I'm gonna go make you some more of that tea. Just try not to…to remember anything else." She rushed up the steps and into the kitchen, where Xander was standing, awkwardly leaning against the wall. She glanced at him once before gathering up the ingredients for the brew again.

"When'd he get back?"

"Do you really wanna talk about this?" Buffy eyed him suspiciously, wondering why he even cared.

"Buffy…" He didn't sound ready for a fight, so she decided to go ahead and give him a chance. Though the second he started acting like an ass, she was going to be ready to throw him out.

"He got back last night."

"Ok. What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know. His chip's been misfiring. That's why I called Willow. I needed her help putting something together for his headache. Something that would work on vampires, obviously."

"Yeah," Xander said stiffly. "So what're you gonna do?"

"I don't know. I tried to call Riley, but I got Pauly's Pizza instead." She made a face. "I was gonna take Spike with me after dark, but I think I should go now…go down to where the Initiative was. Maybe I can find something."

"Go alone?"

"Well, why not? Spike's probably better off resting."

"I could go with you."

"Why would you wanna do that? Why would you want anything to do with helping Spike?"

"Damn it, Buffy, I'm trying here."

"Yeah? Well, it's gonna take a lot more than that. You have no idea how much of a jerk you've been to me. To a lot of people, actually. You used to be one of my closest friends, but I guess the moment I start having a life separate from our little group of friends, all of my actions are…are what? Subject to your stupid jabs at my expense? Some friend." She crossed her arms and glared at him, feeling her cheeks growing hot with anger.

"Buffy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things I said. I just know you can do a lot better than Spike, and…"

"I don't want anybody else. You could parade the nicest guy on the planet around in front of me, and I wouldn't care. I don't want anybody else. You don't get that."

"He's not good for you, Buffy."

"That's not for you to decide." A knock at the door was music to Buffy's ears, and she brushed past Xander to answer it. The man standing before her was unfamiliar, but something about the way he stood reminded her of how stiff and straight-laced the Initiative soldiers had been. "Uh…can I help you?"

"Miss Summers?"

"Yeah."

"I'm Agent Cooper. I'm here about Hostile 17."

* * *

_Author's Note: Please let me know what you thought of the chapter! Thanks!_


	20. The Choice

**Chapter 20: The Choice**

"Uh….that was fast."

"Agent Finn left a few of us behind in case you ever needed us."

"Uh…ok." Despite the situation, she couldn't help but a.) be creeped out by the fact that her ex was keeping tabs on her and b.) be pissed that now she knew he knew she'd died _and_ come back and hadn't so much as heard a word from him. "Doesn't explain how fast you got here. I didn't call him even an hour ago."

"Agent Finn keeps you at the top of his priority list…even if…uh…Ass Face is involved." Buffy heard a snicker from Xander in the kitchen.

"Well, be sure to thank Agent Finn for me," Buffy started, "but tell him he doesn't need to look after me anymore."

"I'll relay that message, Miss Summers." He held up a kit. "Where's Hostile 17?"

"Um, _Spike _is in the basement. I'll lead the way." Agent Cooper stepped inside, and Buffy, still a bit dazed by the suddenness, closed the door after him and lead him into the kitchen, avoiding Xander's gaze at the same time.

As she reached the basement door, Buffy blocked it, turning to face the agent.

"Just to be on the safe side," she warned, "if you do anything to make him worse, I'm going to send you back to your boss with a missing limb or two. You got that?"

"I'm only here to examine the chip, Miss Summers," he said with a nod. "Besides, Agent Finn gave the same instructions. Hostile 17 is not to be harmed in anyway unless necessary."

"Unless necessary? What does that mean, exactly?" The agent didn't budge. Spike screamed from the basement.

"We should hurry," he urged. "Please let me through." Buffy caved and moved out of the way, letting the agent through. But, she followed quickly after him, and Xander was right behind her.

***

After a few scans with some durable-looking wand that could pass for a metal detector, Agent Cooper finished his assessment, and after he stepped out of earshot to make a phone call, he returned to deliver the news.

Buffy was sitting on the cot next to Spike, who was leaning against the wall, his gaze looking distant. Xander stood silently in the corner, wondering what was going on.

"I've talked to Agent Finn, and he told me that whatever you decide to do about Hostile 17, I should follow those orders."

"Orders? You mean, I'm in charge of what happens to him?"

"Yes," Agent Cooper said with a firm nod. Buffy glanced at Spike, who seemed to be in another place entirely, and then she looked back at the stranger.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Something must have happened to offset the function of the chip. Now, I can either repair it, or I can remove it completely." Buffy looked at Spike, who didn't seem to have heard.

"Remove it? Yeah, that's a great idea," Xander spoke up. "Why don't we line our friends up right now, yank that sucker out, and let him have a taste."

"Xander, shut up."

"You aren't seriously considering taking out the chip?" Buffy looked at Agent Cooper, at Spike, and then back at Xander.

"I don't think it's a bad idea." Xander's jaw dropped.

"Maybe screwing vampires makes you foggy in the head, because I clearly remember him biting anyone he cared to before he got that chip put in his brain."

"It's different now."

"What? Because you're fucking him?"

"Shut up, Xander!" Buffy yelled. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"He's right, pet," Spike suddenly spoke up. He even sounded distant.

"No he isn't," Buffy demanded.

"We don't know what'd happen if…"

"See, even a vampire has more sense than you, Buffy." Buffy clenched her fists at her sides.

"Get out."

"No. I'm not letting you let them take it out."

"You don't have any say here, Xander," Buffy warned.

"I do have a say. I have a say as to whether or not my friend keeps all her blood inside of her body and out of the mouth of a bloodsucking fiend." Buffy started toward Xander, but Spike reached out, taking her hand and gently tugging her back down to the cot.

"Take it out," she said up to Agent Cooper without missing a beat.

"Don't listen to her," Xander urged. "She's blind by what she _thinks_ is love."

"My orders are to follow Miss Summers' orders over Hostile 17."

"It's alright, luv," Spike murmured. "It might be better off…"

"No. I don't think there's anything to worry about. You have a soul, Spike. That's going to keep you from hurting anybody."

"He has a_what_ now?" Xander's jaw had dropped a little more. Buffy let out a hot breath.

"That's where he went. He went to Africa and got his soul back."

"You don't have to explain," Spike pointed out. "He doesn't understand."

"You're right. I don't," Xander replied. "Why did he…"

"That's personal," Buffy explained. "You wouldn't understand, like Spike said." Xander shook his head.

"Alright. So he has a soul. How do you know that'll keep him from killing? Humans have souls, but that doesn't stop them from murdering each other. He's not a human. He's a demon." Spike let out a loud groan, gripping his head again, shuddering and grinding his teeth to stop from screaming. Shaking her head, Buffy stood up.

"That thing's killing him, and I don't want to risk this happening again when there isn't anyone around to help." She looked right into Agent Cooper's eyes and gave him a nod. "Take it out."

"Yes, Miss Summers." Buffy caught his arm as he started to open up his case of instruments. "Is there something else?"

"Yeah. If anything happens to him…" Her tone was warning enough. He held up a hand.

"Understood, Miss Summers. This will only take a few minutes. You're free to stay." Buffy nodded but looked at Xander.

"You get out."

"Buff…"

"I understand you want to protect me as a friend, but all you're doing is pissing me off. So leave. I'm not ready to talk to you right now." Opening his mouth to speak again, but deciding against it, Xander just gave her an understanding nod and headed up the stairs, leaving against his strong desire to stay and observe just in case.

***

A few hours later, Spike woke with a hell of a headache. But, the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was her face looking down at him. Her eyes were full of concern, but she showed no trace of fear at all. That made him happy, because it meant that the commando hadn't "accidentally" killed him on behalf of Captain Cardboard, and it also meant that she wasn't worried that he might spring up and kill someone without a moment's notice.

When he thought about his own thirst, his stomach rumbled, but the only taste he desire was that of whatever blood might come from Buffy's fridge, whether it be cow's blood or a sodding pigeon, it was all the same to him. The thought of human blood that had once made a fire course through his veins and his mouth water, now made his stomach twist into knots and the guilt return.

He smelled warm blood almost as soon as he was fully conscious, and he slowly sat up, his hand moving to the back of his head.

"You heal fast," she remarked, "but I thought a scalpel poking around in your brain might take longer to heal. When he was done, all he had to do was put some gauze and a bandage back there." Spike could feel the scratchy material on the back of his head. "Here. Warmed this up for you."

"What is it?"

"Cow this time. Ran out of pig."

"I'll take it," he muttered, as she placed the warm mug in his hands. He drank it down in seconds and then placed the mug down on the floor. "You think this was a good idea, luv?" He motioned toward his head.

"Well, let's see." She moved closer to him, pulling her hair away from his neck and running her fingers along her pulse point. "Do you want to bite me?"

"Would be lying if I said no," he managed to joke. "But I don't want to eat you, if that's what you're asking. At least…not in _that_ way."

"Well, see? You made it through step one. Not eating the girlfriend. Let's see how you do with your girlfriend's sister. She'll be home soon."

"You sure you want to do that? What if…"

"Spike, you might have been a vampire for a long time, but you've been a chipped vampire for what? Two years? All you've had is animal blood. Now you have a soul."

"It doesn't make me hungry…thinking about human blood. Doesn't get me going the way it used to."

"That's the soul talking, sweetie." She paused, furrowing her brows and looking at him, as his own eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"You called me sweetie."

"Yeah, the pet names don't work so much when I say them, do they?" She reached out, taking his hand in hers and lacing their fingers together. "You're not gonna hurt me. You're not gonna hurt anybody I care about."

"Still, to be on the safe side, I think it might be best if you don't leave me alone with anyone for a few days."

"I can do that," she assured him with a nod. "But I really don't think…"

"Well, even if I'm not tempted to feed, I might be tempted to hit the whelp." He motioned toward the door Xander had existed a few hours prior. "And I might hit him a little too hard, if you know what I mean."

"Ah. Well, you'd be second in line. He needs to grow up."

"He does care about you, pet."

"Yeah, but he doesn't care that I love you. Well, he cares in the bad way. He hates it. I can't help the way I feel, and he just needs to accept it and move on." She rested her head on his shoulder and let out a content little sigh. "I'm happy, and I know exactly what I want."

***

"Can you tell me what year it is, Ms. Mullens?" Quentin asked, as he sat across from Dana in a large, bright room. She sat with shackles around her wrists and ankles. He was only answered by a few nonsense words. She wouldn't look him in the eye. "You've been having nightmares, haven't you? Vivid dreams? About demons. Bloodsuckers. Vampires." Dana winced, shrinking back in her chair.

"Yellow eyes," she murmured.

"Yes. That's right."

"Darkness. Dead."

"Yes, Dana. Vampires. The undead."

"Evil. Wr…wrong." Her fingers flexed, as if she was trying to claw at something. Judging by the faded scars on her arms, she was trying to hurt herself.

"Dana, do you know why you're in prison?" She flinched away again. "You were tried and convicted of murder and sent to a women's prison. Do you remember that?" Dana didn't answer. She just fixed her gaze to a spot on the table, and she didn't look up. "You went into a sort of catatonia for a while, but last May, you came out of it. Do you remember that?"

"Demons."

"Yes. That's when the dreams started, yes?" She was shaking now. "Dana. You were called upon. You were Chosen. These dreams can only be seen by a slayer. That's what you are, Dana." Dana shrunk back a little more, jerking at her wrist shackles. "We would like to try another experiment that may make you more focused. More able to be rehabilitated, trained, molded into a champion of the people." Anything would be better than having to exterminate a slayer. She was called on for a reason, and Travers knew that even he didn't have the power to say who got called and when.

"Bad. Killer."

"Yes, Dana. What you did was wrong, but you're not the same woman you were when you committed those murders."

"Guards..."

"Yes. You did that after you were called, but you had no idea of your strength. We can train you."

"Mr. Travers, could I speak with you please?" A male voice on the intercom grated at Travers' nerves. "Well, you think about that, Dana, and I'll go speak with your doctor." Quentin stepped out of the room, and Dana looked around, seeing nobody near, but knowing there were eyes on her. But, she was overtaken by a primal force, a fear of being caged like an animal. Her body began to shake again, and she began to pull desperately at her shackles, feeling pain coursing through her as the metal dug into her skin.

She began to scream. It was a wild, animalistic sound, and when she heard the clanging of steel doors, she felt helpless. She heard the marching of expensive boots against the bright, blinding white linoleum, and she closed her eyes, her head pounding.

"Kill. Evil. Bad. No. Hurt…" She began to whimper, her head down on the table. The guards came in, armed and ready for any stunt she might pull.

"We're taking you back to your cell now," the younger one said warily. He began to undo her chains from the table restraints, trying to keep in mind that she was still restrained without the help of the table. "Get her feet, will you?"

The other guard did as his co-worker asked, and the moment Dana was free of the table, they began to march her toward the doors.

"Dust to dust," she muttered.

"Quiet," the older guard snapped. She began to mutter incoherently, and he couldn't help but lean forward to try and understand her better. But, just as he did that, her arms came up, trapping him between her and the steel links of her shackle chains. He groaned in pain, as she squeezed the chain around his neck.

"Oi! Let him go!" the young guard yelled, cocking his gun and pointing it right at him. She turned slowly, staring him right in the face, her eyes wild, almost black, as she listened to the strangled breaths of her prey.

"Evil…"

"No! No…we're just doing our jobs, miss," the guard reasoned. But she closed her eyes, squeezing harder until she heard the neck snap under the pressure. The gun fired, but obviously the young guard was a bad shot, because without opening her eyes, the wild Slayer lunged at him, pushing him down onto the floor, taking control of his gun and emptying a shot into his belly. He screamed, as he tried to struggle for the gun. Alarms began to blare somewhere close. The coppery scented blood invaded her nostrils, and she realized that this must be what vampires smell right before they finish off their prey.

She saw something shiny glinting in his blood soaked hand, and she reached for it. It was a round keychain, her chance for freedom. Grabbing the keys and the gun, she made a run for it, letting her senses take over, somehow not fearing the alternative to an escape.

***

Buffy shot up in bed, gasping for breath as she focused on the clock. Three-thirty. She rubbed her temples, her head pounding from the dream. Something was wrong. This was the first time in so long that her dream had been so vivid that she could experience nearly every sensation in the dream. Whoever she was in the dream, she was wild. She was using her senses to guide her. She'd been the wild creature, and the feeling was more disturbing than she could have imagined.

Looking over at Spike, who seemed to be completely worn out from the procedure hours earlier, she decided not to wake him just yet. Instead, she pulled herself out of bed and hurried down into the living room, stumbling toward the inn table.

She immediately reached for the phone and for the pad of paper next to it. She dialed Giles' number to his flat in London, hoping he'd be home. After two rings, she was greeted by a calm "Hello?"

"Giles," she gasped, "it's me."

"Buffy?" he asked, alarmed, his mind immediately going to Spike, wondering if the animal had gone too far with her this time. "What's happened?"

"I had…I had a dream. A Slayer dream." There was a pause, a clearing of a throat, and she heard him fumbling for something, probably a pad of paper.

"Listen to me carefully, Buffy. I need you to describe that dream to me in as much detail as you can, alright? I'll start researching as soon as I've visited with Willow."

"I think you might wanna start now. Something's wrong. And I think it's closer to you than it is to me."

***

Thirty minutes later, Buffy was strumming her fingers impatiently against the couch cushion, waiting for Giles to return to the phone. He'd put her on hold to call Quentin Travers, one of Buffy's least favorite people in the world. Travers was trying to do his job, yes, but it didn't help his likability factor any when he put her and her friends lives in danger.

The line clicked, and she heard Giles voice, this time filled with a little more anxiety.

"I've just spoke with Mr. Travers. He was quite helpful."

"Him? Helpful? Giles, this must be bad."

"I'm afraid so," he muttered. "It seems there has been another Slayer called into action."

"Oh," Buffy said slowly. "And…"

"She's the woman in your dream. She escaped the Council's headquarters today. She was an inmate, charged with murder and serving multiple life sentences. She was there when you died, Buffy. She's out of control, and I'm afraid she's escaped..." Buffy felt her stomach twist into knots.

"What should I do?"

"I can't imagine she'll be stable enough to leave the country right now, Buffy. The Council's got some very skilled people in its employ, and they're out searching for her right now. Try not to worry, Buffy. I'm going to help them. I'll call you as soon as I've heard anything."

"Thanks. And…and, Giles? Be careful."

"Yes. I will. Take care." Buffy hung up, and she rested her head in her hands. She was so focused on thinking about that dream that she didn't hear the footsteps approaching her. She jumped at the feel of his cool hand on her shoulders.

"Oh!"

"What happened?" Buffy moved over on the couch for him to sit down next to her.

"I guess another slayer _was_ called when I died. Problem is that she was in prison for murder. And she's escaped."

"How do you know all this?"

"I had a dream. I called Giles and he contacted the Council. I guess they were in control of her, and she escaped from them today."

"What should we do?"

"Giles doesn't think she'll leave the country, so he's not too worried about what we do. I feel like I should do _something_."

"Right now, sounds like they don't need you. Don't worry, pet. I'm sure they'll take care of it."

"Yeah. You're probably right." She wasn't convinced, but it wasn't like she could just take off for London without much money to her name, and with Dawn to look after.

"Come on. Let's go back to bed." He rubbed the back of his head, where the bandage was starting to bother him.

"How's your head?"

"Much better without that sodding thing in there." Buffy nodded slowly, and she yawned. "It'll be even better after a few more hours of sleep."

"Ok. You're right. Sleep first…think later." They stood up, and Spike took her hand, leading her back up to her bedroom, as she tried to push the new piece of information to the back of her mind, at least until morning when she could think about it more clearly.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thanks again for the fantastic feedback! Please keep it coming! :)_


	21. Plans

Chapter 21: Plans

The phone hand rung at eight, and it had been Giles on the line, calling to say that Dana had been captured just a few miles from the Council's headquarters. Despite her strength, her body hadn't been trained for the chase. However, Giles was certain that if she were to escape again, they might not be able to catch her.

"So, everything's alright?"

"For now, yes. I'm going to be observing her. Quentin Travers seems to believe that she can be rehabilitated."

"Are you kidding me?" Buffy asked. "She was in prison before she was called. And look at what she did just trying to escape."

"Yes, I agree with you, but I'd feel better if I was in on this particular case," Giles explained. "I don't trust that they'll be able to contain her."

"Giles," Buffy said quietly, "she's strong. I could feel that strength in my dream. If she does escape again, promise me you'll stay out of her way. She's getting stronger every day, and if she…"

"I'll take every precaution, Buffy. There's nothing for you to worry about. This is all under control."

"Call me if…if it gets _out _of control, ok, Giles?"

"Of course. How…how is everything in Sunnydale?"

"Good. Dawn's grades are fine, and Anya's still planning the wedding. I…I'm gonna have to go out and get a job soon, but we're still ok for right now."

"And Spike?" Buffy chewed her bottom lip for a moment. There really was no use in telling him about the chip extraction or the soul right now. He'd only jump to conclusions and come back on the next plane, and right now, he was needed in London.

"Like I said…everything's fine."

"I'll take your word for it." He didn't sound convinced.

"Good. How's Willow?"

"She's doing remarkably well. She may be coming home sooner than expected."

"Well, she's always welcome back here. I just hope she and Tara can work things out." She cleared her throat when she heard Spike stirring upstairs. "I have to go. Thanks for calling, Giles. Keep me up to date." She hung up and started toward the stairs, but before she even made it to the hallway, the phone rang again, startling her. Furrowing her brows, she picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Miss Summers?"

"Which one?"

"I'm looking for Buffy Summers."

"That's me. Who is this?"

"Miss Summers, this is Quentin Travers."

"Oh," Buffy muttered.

"I understand your feelings toward the Council, so I wouldn't be calling you unless this was urgent."

"I just talked to Giles. He said you caught that Dana girl."

"Yes, we captured her again, but Miss Summers, she's growing stronger."

"He also told me that. What's this have to do with me?"

"We've been informed that you're running out of money, what with the problems your recent death and then resurrection caused."

"You're…offering me a job?"

"Yes." Buffy sighed. If it wasn't for the fact that it was about time to really start looking for a job, she'd have probably hung up on him.

"Look, I don't know what it is you want from me, but…"

"Miss Summers, you know as well as anyone at the Council that becoming a Slayer changes who you are."

"Well, sure."

"It changes your priorities."

"Whoa. No, no. Only if you _want_ them to change. Believe me, when I was called, I didn't really want anything to do with the whole slaying thing. There are times, even now, when I'd really just like to give it up."

"Well, we at the Council…"

"And I'm guessing this isn't going to include Giles?"

"We believe that we're making remarkable progress with Ms. Mullens."

"Yes, and that was demonstrated when she broke out. I don't know what you're trying to sell me, but…"

"We will pay you and take care of your expenses if you'll fly to London and work with her."

"Work with a convicted murderer?" Buffy asked. "No thanks. If you ask me, she's better off behind bars…like Faith. Actually, Faith looks like a sane, 'wouldn't-hurt-a-flea' type compared to this girl."

"Ms. Summers, surely you can understand. You are associated with a vampire, are you not?"

"That's different. He didn't have a choice. She's human. She had a choice when it came to killing people. She chose murder."

"Ms. Summers, if we can rehabilitate her…"

"Some people are beyond saving, Mr. Travers. I would help if I didn't have people I cared about who could get hurt. You don't know what it feels like to have the power of a Slayer. I do. I know what's running through her head right now. But I don't know what it's like to be criminally insane. It's not a combination I'd like to see up close and personal."

"I wish you would re-consider."

"Sorry, but I can't help you." Buffy hung up the phone. She felt a knot in the pit of her stomach. She knew she should try to help the situation, but trying to help the Council rehabilitate this woman and try to get her out there as a Slayer? There was no way that could _ever_ be a good idea. From the way Giles talked, she was far less lucid than Faith, who was pretty brutal for quite a while. No, the only good that could come out of this situation would be if the Council kept the new slayer under lock and key for the rest of her life.

"Hey," came a familiar voice right next to her ear. Buffy jumped and turned around quickly. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, pet."

"It's alright," Buffy said, shaking her head. "Giles called. Dana's been captured, but she's getting stronger. Quentin Travers called and offered me a job to help them rehabilitate her. Try to make her into a good Slayer." Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah? And what'd you say?"

"I told him no, of course. She's in prison for murder. There's no way she can be helped." Spike nodded slowly.

"You think she can't be…"

"Spike, the woman was in prison for murder. She could barely communicate _before _I died and made her a slayer. She's having the dreams, and her strength is growing, but she doesn't know how to use it. And she's already made a mess over there. If I went over there…no…I couldn't do it. She can't be helped."

"You think so?" Buffy heard the tone of his voice, and she shrugged her shoulders.

"The man you were before Dru turned you…you never would have hurt anyone, would you?" Spike chuckled, shaking his head.

"I dunno, pet. I don't think I _could _have, but I certainly thought about it from time to time. Bunch of pillocks didn't know poetry…" He muttered a few more choice words under his breath.

"When Dru turned you…you lost that part of you that chooses from right and wrong…and you lived without it for a long time. Until you met me, apparently."

"Until I got the chip, luv. I stopped caring about the kill after that, though. Focused more on you. Wanting to do right for you." He shrugged slightly.

"And you made a choice to get your soul back. Dana…she made a choice, with her soul intact, to kill people, and she went to prison for it. Can you imagine what a woman like that could do with the strength and speed of a Slayer?" She shuddered a little. "I can't help her, Spike. If it was anyone else who didn't have her track record…maybe."

"Even Faith?" Buffy glared at him for a minute. "Sorry, sore subject."

"It's ok. You know what? Giles said not to worry about it, so I'm not gonna. So I'm all yours today. What do you wanna do?" Spike wiggled his eyebrows at her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Headaches?"

"Not really."

"Not really means yes. So, until you're feeling one hundred percent, you're resting."

"Oh, come on, pet!" Spike urged, pulling her into his arms. "You don't mean that."

"Yes I do!" she said with a defiant nod. "You heal fast. You can deal, right?" Spike muttered something under his breath, and Buffy stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. "You can pick out the movie. Make it as gross as you want." Spike sighed.

"Suppose that'll do for now, Slayer," he challenged. She tried to wiggle out of his arms, but he held her firmly against him, trailing his lips down her neck expertly, until he could feel her trembling in his arms. Then, he forced himself away from her, knowing he'd got her going. Now, she was gonna be just as miserable as he was. "I'll go pick out that movie now." He left her standing in the middle of the living room, knees weak, heart pounding, a pool of heat starting to form between her legs.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that!" she called, hurrying to catch up with him.

***

Giles paced back and forth in Dana's room. This was his first chance to see the girl, and she was strapped down to her bed with extra restraints this time. Only she wasn't struggling. She'd been given something to relax her, and she lay there following him around the room with her gaze.

"Can you tell me your name?" Giles asked slowly. Dana hesitated and then nodded. "Go on."

"Dana. D…Dana Mullens." He double checked her chart.

"Very good. How old are you, Dana?"

"E…eighteen? No…nineteen."

"Yes. Very good. And do you know why you're here?" Dana looked around as best she could with the strap secured around her forehead. "Do you know why you were in prison?" Dana started to shake under the restraints.

"Because I'm bad," she breathed. Giles pulled a chair closer to Dana's bed and sat down.

"Tell me if you recognize these names: Travis Elderton, Jessica Monroe, Eric Lyons." She began to shake.

"Yes," she whispered.

"How do you know them, Dana?"

"I killed them." She closed her eyes, beginning to struggle against the restraints.

"That's why you were in prison, Dana." Giles cleared his throat. "How about Jason Ellis, Michael Knight, and David Finster?" Dana didn't flinch. "Do you know those names, Dana?"

"No," she murmured as she continued to tremble.

"They were guards that you…"

"They were bad. They were going to hurt me." She shivered, and Giles stood up. "Demons. Demons…" She was losing focus.

"Dana. Dana, look at me." Dana wouldn't look at him. She was no longer lucid, and after a few minutes of waiting to see if he could get her to speak again, Giles left the room and stood with Mr. Travers.

"That's as lucid as we've seen her so far," he said with amazement. "She's never even batted an eyelash when we ask her about the people she's killed."

"Did you see the fear in her?" Giles asked. "Something has that girl truly frightened, and I don't think it has anything to do with her dreams. I think it has to do with the murders."

"She was convicted, Giles," Quentin said with a nod. "She did commit the crime, but when they found her, all she could say was that she killed them. She didn't give them an alibi."

"You think she killed them to protect herself?"

"Unless we can get the medication just right so we can keep her permanently lucid, we might never know. I needed you to see her for yourself. Tell me you'll stay. You'll help her." Giles looked back at the helpless young woman who was now trembling as God knows what ran through her head.

"If you can find a way to make her permanently lucid, I may be able to help you. Right now, I have a Slayer of my own to get back to."

"I thought she wasn't your Slayer anymore. Thought she didn't need a Watcher." Giles gritted his teeth.

"Keep in touch, Mr. Travers." He turned and walked out, leaving the council to update Buffy on Dana's condition.

***

"So she's becoming more stable?" Buffy asked, as she tried to bite back a giggle. She was lying naked on the living room floor, and Spike was tickling her sides and nibbling on her ear. "Oh. God...I mean…good! Good…uh. Yeah. Thanks for calling, Giles. Oh! Um…no. No, I just…uh, I dropped something." Spike's wandering fingers moved lower, caressing her thighs. She closed her eyes, trying to block out the images as she talked to Giles. "OK. Yeah. Willow? She's ok…uh…good. Good. Umm…ahhh…huh? No. Nothing's wrong. No, I'm just, uh…sorry, there's a…" She went silent. "What? No!" His fingers got a little more curious and he slipped one inside of her, and she gasped for breath. "Spike!" _Shit._ "Uh…Spike! Don't touch that. The glue's still drying." Spike furrowed his brows and she shrugged at him. "Listen, Giles, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, ok?" She hung up and reached over to slap him hard on the chest. "What the Hell?!"

"The glue's still drying?"

"What? I had to think fast. I thought it was pretty good, myself." He rolled to his side, pinning one of her legs under his own. He raked his gaze over her body, letting one hand follow. He caressed his way down her breast and her side and he stopped at her thigh, gently kneading the flesh there. She moaned softly, leaning into him, pressing her lips against his. "Mmm….so much for being careful."

"S'worth it, pet. It's much better than watching movies all day." She pressed against him a little bit more, the closeness and the brief contact enough to harden him a little bit once again. 'Speaking of…shall we have another go…or is the glue still drying." Buffy burst out laughing, and rolled away from him, covering her face, as he moved over her, burying his face against his shoulder, chuckling softly as her arms wove around him. He finally pulled back to look into her eyes, brushing the hair from her face. "S'alright. You're adorable when you're embarrassed."

"C'mere," she whispered, pulling him down against her and straining upward to capture his lips with hers. With a sigh, she pulled back, looking curiously into his eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking…Christmas is coming up." Spike thought for a moment.

"Yeah. I guess it is. Anything you want?"

"Not really. Unless world peace counts," she muttered.

"Oh, but then it wouldn't be nearly as interesting, would it? No big bads to take out your aggression on. Of course, all that energy could be put into something else." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, trailing his fingertips up and down her thigh.

"I was actually thinking we'd have the house to ourselves."

"How do you figure?"

"Dawn's going to visit Dad, and Tara's going to London to visit Willow." Spike furrowed his eyebrows.

"When'd this happen?"

"A few days before you got back. Tara's taking our presents to Willow. They might have problems, but she doesn't want Willow to feel totally isolated at Christmas." She cleared her throat. "As for Dawn visiting Dad…he's finally back in the country. She apologized for not being around. She seemed to buy his excuses for not being there when Mom died. Thankfully, he never heard about me dying, because that's one awkward conversation I don't want to have. 'Hey Dad, I died, but don't worry, I'm alive again.'"

"Good point," Spike said with a nod. "So she wants to go, huh?"

"I think it's more that she feels obligated. Plus, she doesn't want to be the one to say she didn't try to have a relationship with him when it doesn't work out. My Dad's got too much going on." She sighed.

"What is it?"

"When I was about five or six, Mom was pregnant with Dawn. I got up in the middle of the night to get something to drink, and I heard them arguing. Dad said he never wanted kids, and she told him he could leave. Of course, he didn't. He said he loved me too much to go. It's just that he never expected to have another one."

"Dawn doesn't know about that, does she?"

"God, no," Buffy murmured. "I mean, Dad loved her. You could tell. It's just that after the divorce, he got a life, and he was too busy for us anymore. He doesn't exactly have the best dad gene, you know?"

"Not everybody's cut out to be a dad. My pop wasn't, that's for sure." Spike's voice was low and the tone he used showed his obvious uncertainty about even talking about the subject, so Buffy just kissed him again.

"Well, he invited me, but I said I had other plans."

"Why don't you go? Spend some time with him." Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"Because I'd rather spend time alone with you."

"But don't you think you'd feel better if you had a chance to talk to your Dad?" Buffy sighed, her hand caressing the side of his face.

"You know what?" Her hand began to trail downward.

"What?"

"I don't wanna talk about family right now," she whispered, her hand disappearing between them. He stiffened when her hand encircled his cock. "Do you?" Well, she had him. When he said nothing, she pulled him back down for another kiss, and all conversation was forgotten.


	22. Phone Call

Chapter 22: Phone Call

"Maybe I was wrong," Buffy mused, as she and Spike sat together on the couch watching TV. Dawn was expected home any minute now.

"Wrong about what, luv?" His arm was wrapped around her shoulders, and she was leaning against him.

"Dana."

"What about her?"

"Maybe they do need my help."

"You're saying you want to go to London?"

"No," Buffy muttered. "I've just been thinking about it. All those years I thought of you as…as a machine. A killer. I didn't let myself look past that."

"I was a killer, pet."

"Yeah. But there were reasons. There are always reasons. I didn't even think about that when I told Mr. Travers I wouldn't take the job."

"They've got it under control, pet. Don't worry about it."

"What's wrong with me?" She turned in Spike's arms to look at him. "I'm the Slayer. Yeah, my job is to protect the world from demons and vampires. I'm supposed to _help_ people. Even if those people are warped Slayers." She sighed, shaking her head.

"Giles doesn't even want you there, pet. Maybe he's not officially your watcher anymore, but he's probably right. I'm sure if it gets out of hand you'll hear from him."

"Being the Slayer sucks, you know? Just thinking about seeing that girl…it gives me the wiggins. Being her in that dream was bad enough." Taking a deep breath, she shrugged. "But, I'm the Slayer. I can't exactly turn my back on something that's happening to another person who didn't ask for this. Next time somebody from the Council asks me to help with her, I think I'm gonna do it."

"You're sure about that?"

"No. But if I didn't help, and something happened to Giles or…or anybody in her way, for that matter…no. If they call again, I'll know they need me. Right now, I trust Giles. I won't worry until he worries."

"So, you're worried about regretting doing something while you have the chance?"

"Yeah, I guess so." She watched him pick up the phone. "What?"

"If you don't talk to him, Buffy, you might regret it one day."

"No! I'm not talking to him, Spike. He's…he's…"

"He's your dad. He might be a lot of other things, but he's still that." Buffy frowned.

"What about having the house to ourselves?"

"We'll have other chances. I'm not saying I wouldn't love the chance to have you naked for days on end, but you won't have a good time staying home, knowing you probably should've gone." Buffy frowned deeper, taking the phone.

"Fine. I'll call him. But if I'm going, you're going too." Before Spike had the chance to respond, Buffy had the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" Hank Summers asked as he picked up.

"Um…hey…Dad. It's me. Buffy."

"Oh! Buffy…hi! How are you?"

"I'm ok. Uh, I was just calling to make sure that it's still ok for Dawn to come visit."

"Sure. Sure, it's fine. It'll be good to have her here."

"Yeah. About that. I was…um, I guess I was just wondering if you'd care if maybe…maybe I came too." She didn't feel like a twenty-year-old woman. She felt more like a ten-year-old little girl afraid to bother her busy father in his office.

"Oh. Well, yeah, that'd be great, Buffy. It'd be nice to have both of my girls here. I thought you had plans for Christmas, though."

"Um…" She glanced at Spike, almost accusingly. "Well, not anymore. I thought I'd bring my boyfriend with me if that's ok."

"Your boyfriend? Dawn mentioned you were seeing someone. Some…Pike…"

"Spike," Buffy corrected. "His name's William, but everyone calls him Spike."

"Well, I'd like to meet him. Uh…I've only got two extra rooms."

"That's ok, Dad. I'm twenty, remember?"

"Right. Of course. We'll have a great time. I can't wait to see you girls again."

"Yeah. O…ok. Well, I have to go. I'll see you next week."

"Next week, then. Bye."

"Bye." Buffy handed the phone back to Spike, and he hung it up for her. He cocked his head to the side. "What?"

"What exactly do you plan on telling him when I keep making excuses for why we need a dark room with heavy, dark curtains? Or when I don't go outside in the daytime?"

"I'll tell him you get migraines," she said with a shrug. "Believe me. I lied about things up until I was fifteen, and he never caught on. My dad's not a hard one to fool."

"Must've been torture for you not getting away with things when you lived with your Mum."

"Well, she didn't figure out about the Slayer thing on her own, did she? I was pretty good at hiding that. Keeping out of trouble, on the other hand…"

"I'm home!" Dawn called, before the door was even all the way open. She'd started doing that nearly every day, just in case she was to walk in on a situation she really didn't want to see.

"We're in here, Dawnie," Buffy called out. Dawn stepped into the living room, throwing her book bag into the corner chair.

"Hey guys."

"How was school?"

"You know. Same old same old."

"Yeah, I know the feeling."

"What'd you guys do today? Wait. What did you guys do in the last…five minutes? That's safe to ask, right?" Buffy rolled her eyes.

"I actually talked to Dad." Dawn raised her eyebrows.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I, uh, I asked if he'd mind if I came with you at Christmas."

"You're coming with me? Oh, thank God!" Dawn exclaimed. "I was tempted to fake being sick so I didn't have to go alone."

"And Spike's coming too." Dawn's lips curled up into an amused smile, and then she let out a little laugh.

"What's so funny?" Spike wondered.

"Oh, this is gonna be awesome. I can't wait until Dad gets a load of you." Spike stood up, crossing his arms across his chest.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Dawn laughed, gulping for breath, waving her hands in front of her face. "Oh. I can just see the look on his face when Buffy comes through the door with you. He's probably expecting something like…well, the preppy losers you used to date. I mean, Angel was lame, and he was a _vampire_. And Riley. Oh God. Don't get me started on the guys before we moved to…"

"Ok, that's enough, Dawnie! Thanks," Buffy warned.

"Sorry," Dawn snorted. "It's just that Dad definitely won't be expecting _him_. I mean, bleach blonde hair, pale, pale skin, dresses all in black."

"Well, I like him, and that's what matters." She smiled and turned to Spike. "You just have to avoid sunlight and any sort of confrontation with my dad, and you'll be fine."

"Let's see, sunny L.A., staying inside all day with a man I barely know? Piece of cake."

"Don't worry. I'll be there. I won't leave you alone in the house with him."

"Good idea," Dawn said with a nod. "'Cause if he's anything like he was with your date to the seventh grade dance, Spike might end up biting him."

"Not making me feel any better here, Nibblet," Spike said with a sigh. "Guess I ought to make arrangements for someone to look after my crypt."

"You're actually hiring a crypt keeper?" Dawn asked with a giggle.

"Well, yeah. Who else would I hire?"

"I don't know. I…" She looked up at the clock. "Oh, crap! I gotta call Jake. Don't pick up the phone!"

"Wouldn't dream of it," Buffy muttered, knowing her sister couldn't hear it, as she was already halfway up the stairs. She turned back to Spike and smiled, placing her hands on his shoulders, as he drew her in, his hands resting comfortably on her hips. "I'll feel better with you there. My dad's kind've a stranger to me. I haven't seen him in so long. I don't even know how to act around him, you know?"

"You don't have to act like the proper daughter, Buffy. The man deserves a little bit of the cold shoulder. After what he did to you and your sis after Joyce…Look, I'm not saying you should try to make him miserable the whole time, but I don't think he deserves any slack for what he did. Abandoning you when you needed him the most…"

"Ok, you're not helping me _want _to go."

"Alright, pet," he said with an understanding nod. "What do you need?"

"I need…I need you to be…the supportive boyfriend. If I get mad at him, you're mad too. If I'm happy, you're happy too."

"So if you say you hate him, I'm supposed to list the reasons." Buffy smiled.

"You're better at this than you think." Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. "I know what I said before, but…but, you don't have to go if you don't want to. I'm sure it won't be that exciting for you."

"Let's see, I get to spend a weekend away from the Hellmouth, hopefully not killing vampires or any other sort of demon, and I'll be doing it with the most gorgeous creature ever to grace the face of the earth. I can think of worse vacations, pet." He pulled her in again, the scent of her shampoo wafting into his face. Their lips met in a tender kiss, but they were interrupted by Dawn bounding down the stairs.

"Buffy?" Buffy turned in Spike's arms, but he kept them firmly around her. She leaned back against his chest with a smile.

"Yeah?"

"I have a little favor to ask." She looked nervous.

"What'd you do?"

"Nothing! Um…Jake's parents…they have to go out of town on Christmas. Jake doesn't wanna go with them, but they don't want him spending Christmas alone."

"Ok…"

"So…I was thinking maybe we could take Jake with us. I could introduce him to Dad too. You know, we could kill two birds with one stone. Or…would that be two birds with two…anyway, can he come?"

"I don't know, Dawn. I don't know the guy that well, and…"

"Well, it'll be the perfect opportunity for you to get to know him. Please? He can't spend Christmas alone. Come on…" Buffy glanced at Spike who just raised an eyebrow, and she sighed.

"You'll have to call Dad and ask him if he has the room, because he's _not_ staying in your room."

"Spike's staying in _yours_."

"That's different. I'm not fifteen." Dawn rolled her eyes.

"I was kidding," she muttered. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind the couch. Thanks, Buffy!"

"Don't thank me until you asked Dad." Dawn nodded and bolted back up the stairs to make another call. Buffy turned again in Spike's arm.

"You're _sure_ you haven't been on worse vacations?"

"Believe me, pet. I think I can find some way to pass the time." His hand moved down her spine, gently cupping her ass. She smiled against his lips and nodded.

"Alright. But don't even think of trying to get out of it now. You're stuck with me for Christmas, mister." He chuckled against her lips.

"I think I can live with that."

* * *

_Author's Note: Thanks again for your feedback and support! Please keep it coming! I'm not sure how much longer this story will be, but I might be slowing down in my posting rate over the weekend. I've been under the weather, and I might take a couple days off to rest. _


	23. Los Angeles

**Chapter 23: Los Angeles**

"Did they say when they'd be back?" Anya asked, flipping through a bridal magazine, as she and Xander sat around at the Magic Box.

"Sometime after Christmas," Xander said with a shrug. "I can't believe she's going to see her dad. He hasn't been there for her in years. He wasn't there when Mrs. Summers died. He wasn't even around to hear about Buffy dying, which now that I think about it, was probably good, because she's going to visit him now. Still, I think it's only gonna make things worse."

"Maybe," Anya considered. "You know, when I was human…well, the first time around, I didn't get along with my family either. But, I always managed to find time to spend with them."

"That's different, An," Xander explained. "Their dad used to be a pretty good guy, but then he just stopped coming around. He would cancel their visits."

"Are you madder that she's going to visit her father, or is it because she's taking Spike to meet him?" Xander was silent for a few moments, but Anya could practically hear the meltdown coming. His fingers tapped the table, his breathing increased, and finally, he slammed his hand against the hard wood of the table.

"What's she thinking, huh? He's a vampire. And not only that, but he doesn't have a chip. He could kill her. He could kill any of them, and…"

"And he hasn't. He could have done it the second he had his chip taken out, but he didn't. He has a soul now."

"Just because he has a soul doesn't make up for everything he did in the past." It was Anya's turn to get angry. She stood up, crossing her arms. "Anya? What…"

"What about the things I did, huh? I've been around a long, _long _time. I've done more things than Spike could ever think about doing. I've eviscerated men just because they made their moody girlfriends cry at the wrong time of the month. I did it without question."

"That's different. You're…you're…"

"Human? That's what makes all the difference? Come on, Xander." She shook her head, exasperated. "Is this really because you hate Spike, or is it because you don't want her to be with him? Is this some kind of…of sick control game?"

"You know that's not it!" Xander exclaimed, standing up to face his future bride.

"Then why are you acting like this? If you're going to hate Spike, then you should hate me too, because when I was a demon, I was worse than you could have ever imagined. I made Spike look like a…a kitten!"

"An…"

"No. Look, I want to support you, Xander, but I just can't take much more of this. I sit here and listen to you talk about how evil Spike is, but the only difference between him and me is that I'm human. That doesn't change the past. And I'm sure if Spike was human, you'd still hate him, because Buffy loves him, and you can't change it." Xander was stunned into silence. "If he's so awful because of the things he's done, then I must be a monster." She turned on her heels, throwing the bridal magazine down on the table, and she stalked out of the shop without another word, leaving Xander to realize just how much of an idiot he'd become.

***

"I can't believe you're making him drive his own car. He could ride with us," Dawn commented, as they drove down the highway shortly after sunset.

"Then you'd have to be the one to explain to him why Spike drinks blood when he gets hungry. I want to drive straight through, so we can get there before sunrise. Dad's not gonna be home until tomorrow afternoon, so he left a key for us to get in."

"You could've at least let me ride with him."

"I'm keeping an eye on his driving skills. If he passes my test, you might get to ride home with him. Right now, I'd rather you be in the car with me."

"Says you, who lets her lead food boyfriend drive." Buffy looked at the speedometer. It read 80 mph.

"Spike! Slow down."

"What? Oh, c'mon, pet. There's nobody out here."

"We'll hit the interstate soon, and I'd like to get to L.A. in one piece."

"You sound like mom," Dawn murmured from the back seat. "Remember when she _tried _to teach you how to drive?" Dawn could help but giggle. "You almost took out an old lady in the grocery store parking lot!"

"Ok, enough with the walk down memory lane," Buffy muttered. "I'm sure Dad's gonna have enough 'fun' stories about me to share."

"I can't wait."

"Just so you know, since your boyfriend's coming, I'm sure he's gonna have plenty of stories to tell about you."

"Like what?" Dawn challenged.

"Oh…I don't know. How about…the Dolly Parton concert you held in front of your mirror and stuffed animals when you were six. I remember you had one of my bras…"

"Training bras," Dawn quipped, getting a glare from Buffy and a stifled laugh from Spike.

"You stuffed them with _my _socks and had mom's new makeup all over your face." Dawn's face drained of color. "I'm pretty sure we took pictures. Maybe Dad has that one."

"Oh my God. I'll kill you if you bring that up."

"All's fair," Buffy said with a nonchalant shrug.

"Nothing your dear old dad could have to say about Buffy would surprise me." Dawn burst out laughing, and Buffy slugged him in the shoulder.

"Do you _want _to sleep alone tonight?" Spike smirked but kept his mouth shut. They drove in silence for the next few minutes, until Dawn let out a sigh. "What?"

"Nothing. Just hoping this huge pool Dad told me about on the phone is actually as huge as he says. I can't wait to go for a swim."

"Never fancied swimming, myself," Spike said with a shrug.

"That's 'cause it's physically impossible for you to appreciate how cool the water is," Buffy quipped. "Of course, swimming on a hot summer day would be pretty impossible for you too."

"Yeah. Don't think the strongest SPF would help you there," Dawn joked. "Whoa…" She swooned a little.

"Dawn? You ok?"

"Mmmhmm," she muttered. "I think this carsickness pill is finally kicking in."

"There's enough room to lay down, right?"

"Yeah," Dawn muttered. "I think I'm gonna do that." Dawn lay back in the seat, and it wasn't long before they could hear her snoring softly. Buffy eyed Spike, smiling. He caught her grin out of the corner of his eyes.

"What?"

"Just thinking about seeing you swimming. You don't know how, do you?"

"Sure I do. I've had a lot of time to practice, you know. Not like I have to worry about drowning. Just don't care much for it is all."

"Well, you've never swam with me before."

"Swimming's always better when hot, naked women are involved."

"Would you settle for a partially-clad Buffy?"

"Settle? You don't know how beautiful you really are, do you?" He glanced at her for just a moment to see her smile inwardly, shrugging her shoulders a little. "And I gotta say, pet, the minute we get in that pool, there'll be no 'partially-clad' about it."

"Spike!"

"She's sleeping."

"Yeah, but I don't need her learning anything by…by osmosis." Spike smirked again.

"She's not a child, Buffy."

"She's fifteen. It's close enough." Buffy relaxed against her seat, wiping her suddenly sweating hands on her pant legs. Spike reached over, placing his hand over hers. She looked at him, and he met her gaze. She smiled and rolled her eyes at him but looked forward, curling her fingers around his, and they continued on in comfortable silence.

***

"This is it. Up on the left," Buffy said tiredly, as Spike coasted down the road in the quiet but very expensive-looking neighborhood. "1630…yep, that's it." Buffy's eyes widened at the sight of her father's large house. She knew he'd always had a good deal of money, and right now, she felt a twinge of anger that she and Dawn had been just getting by since Joyce's death. Spike could sense her thoughts, and he squeezed her hand.

"S'alright, Pet. You said he left a key?"

"Yeah." She turned, reaching into the backseat to nudge her sister awake. She squinted when Jake pulled in behind them in the drive.

"What?" Dawn muttered against the seat.

"We're here. Get up." Dawn muttered something unintelligible and stretched herself into a sitting position. Her eyes widened immediately.

"Holy crap! _This_ is Dad's house?" It was a spacious two-story modern house and from the wave of chlorine-scent that filled their nostrils, they could discern that a large swimming pool waited for them in the back. "Think we can guilt him into switching with us? I mean, it has to be, what? Three times as big as ours?" Buffy had to fight the urge to wonder aloud why he could afford this house but couldn't afford to send a little cash their way once in a while. The last time she'd gotten anything from the man was when she'd visited over the summer in high school.

Jake came around from his car and pulled his arm around Dawn's waist. Buffy couldn't help but stare at the two of them. Jake was admiring the house with Dawn, who looked slightly skittish. It was nice to see her sister happy, but being the big sister, she was going to make sure she wasn't _too _happy.

"Jake, I think Dad said you can sleep on the pull out downstairs."

"Yeah. Thanks for letting me come along, Buffy."

"Yeah, thanks, Buffy. Nobody should have to spend Christmas alone." Buffy nodded.

"You're welcome. Besides, it'll give us a chance to talk." Jake looked slightly concerned, but Dawn shrugged.

"Don't worry. If she gets too bad, I have lots of blackmail stories to share. I used to read her diary. A lot." Buffy's eyes widened. "So Buffy? Be nice." Dawn was joking, of course, but not about the blackmail part. Buffy had hid her diary in just about every place she wouldn't expect anybody to look for it, and Dawn had always managed to not only find her sister's diary but hide her own. Very well. It sucked being the Chosen One and not being able to find a damned diary in order to repay the 'favor.'

The four tired travelers made their way up to the front door. Buffy found the spare key exactly where her dad had told her it would be. When they stepped inside, Spike found the light switch, and with a flick, the downstairs was illuminated.

"Whoa, Dawn, your dad's loaded."

"Ok. Buffy, the beach is like…practically in the back yard. Is it ok if me and Jake take a walk?" Buffy tensed up.

"I don't think that'd be a good idea."

"Oh, come on. I'll take my cell, and…"

"Dawn," Buffy said quickly. "Hey, let's go check out the kitchen. The guys can get our bags, right?"

"Uh, right," Jake said quickly. He and Spike began to take the luggage to the separate rooms. The living room for Jake, and the two free rooms upstairs for the rest of them.

Buffy dragged her sister into the kitchen.

"What's your problem?" Dawn snapped. "We just wanna go for a walk."

"My problem, Dawn, is that he's sixteen and you're…well, you're not. My problem is that it's late, and we should all get some sleep."

"Yeah, like you and Spike plan to sleep in the pool?"

"What?"

"I'm not _that_ heavy of a sleeper." Dawn rolled her eyes. "Besides, we just wanna go for a walk. That's it. You've let me go miles away to a party with him, but you won't let me go about a hundred feet away to walk on the beach?"

"It's L.A. You've been here maybe three times."

"Gee, if we run into any problems, I can always call Angel." Buffy's mouth set in a thin line. "He's only about fifteen minutes away, after all."

"No. We're not here to see Angel. We're here to visit Dad, and it's my job as your big sister to make sure that you're in one piece when he gets here tomorrow. So no walks on the beach until tomorrow. When the sun's high and there are people around as witnesses."

"What? In case somebody tries to kidnap me or in case I get the urge to ravage my boyfriend in the sand?"

"Don't joke about that," Buffy warned. "You're still a…"

"A kid? No, I'm not. Yeah, I'm fifteen, but I've been around for thousands of…"

"Really, only a couple."

"Yeah, in this body. But…"

"Dawn, don't pull the age card on me. I don't care if you're fifteen or fifteen thousand. Just humor me tonight, ok?" Dawn clenched her teeth and gritted out a response.

"Fine." She turned to walk out, but Buffy gently grabbed her hand, turning her back around.

"Dawnie," Buffy said softly, "I don't mean to treat you like a little kid. I know you're growing up. Just…I need you to listen to me. I know what it's like to have a new boyfriend…one that just makes you smile every time you think about him. I know what it's like to think about…well, a lot of things. But please, listen to me. You're young, and Jake's probably not gonna be the one you end up with. Just think before you do anything you might regret not…you know, doing with the right person?" Dawn yanked her hand away.

"You didn't wait. Angel wasn't the right one. Neither was Parker. Or Riley." Buffy stiffened again.

"I loved Angel. I loved Riley. Parker was…well, he was there in a confusing time of my life. I was having trouble getting adjusted to school. I was…"

"Alright. Ok. Look," Dawn murmured, "thanks for worrying about me, but you don't have to. I know what I'm doing. They force sex-ed down our throats every year. I'm not stupid." Buffy felt a little taken aback.

"Dawn…"

"Please…can we not talk about this, Buffy?" She could tell by the look in Dawn's eyes that Dawn had just let slip something she hadn't really wanted to, even without saying it outright. "I love you. You're my big sister. But you're not my mother." Dawn turned to walk away, but Buffy called out again.

"Dawn."

"What?" she asked without turning around.

"Please…just…be careful. If you need to talk to me, please…just…"

"I know. I will." With that, Dawn left the kitchen, and Buffy felt her knees starting to give way. She leaned against the marble counter top and took a few deep breaths.

"Buffy?" She looked up to see Spike standing in the doorway. He examined her trembling frame, as her skin turned a slightly paler shade. "What's the matter?" He came to her, pulling an arm around her waist. She looked up into his eyes.

"I _think_…I think my little sister just told me she's having sex…or she's…she's thinking about it."

"What?" Spike asked, eyebrow raised.

"She didn't…she didn't exactly come out and say it, but…" She shook her head. "This is too much to process."

"Can I do anything?"

"I think the damage has already been done. Just…help me keep them away from each other."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm on your side. Nibblet is just a kid. But you know what it's like to want to be with somebody so much you'd do anything to make it happen…don't you?" He looked into her eyes, and she trembled. "It's not going to be easy."

"This can't be happening, Spike. She's fifteen!"

"And a smart girl."

"Not very smart," Buffy muttered. "If I didn't love her so much I'd kill her."

"Why don't you talk to her? You are the Slayer, after all. You could always torture it out of her."

"I just tried to talk to her…"

"Go talk to her again," he urged. "It's late, but you won't feel better until you do." Buffy nodded.

"OK. You um…you keep Jake busy, ok?"

"Right. What'll we talk about? How much hair product he uses?"

"Hey, you could both talk about that." She ran her hand over his gelled back locks.

"Funny, Slayer. Remember, I know where you sleep." Buffy smiled a little and stepped up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

"I'd say don't wait up, but you'd better."

"Don't worry. I'll be waiting for you when you're done." Buffy sighed, nodded, and headed off to find her sister, hoping she wouldn't have to threaten her with sending her away to a convent. Her sister was smart. But she was young and vulnerable, even being the sister of the Slayer. She had a lot to learn about life, and Buffy just hoped that she wouldn't learn too much too fast.

* * *

_Thanks for your support and your patience while I rested from my health issues. I'm feeling a little better, and I hope to get back on track with posting a chapter a day. :) Let me know what you thought of Ch. 23!_


	24. Staking a Claim

**Chapter 24: Staking a Claim**

"Look, Dawn, I'm sorry about…about in the kitchen. I know you're not a kid. I know that. I'm just worried about you." Buffy and Dawn sat side by side on the bed in Dawn's room. "I'm not mom. I'm not trying to replace her. It's just…you're my baby sister, and I guess I'm just…"

"Way overprotective?" Dawn suggested. Buffy swallowed hard but mustered up a nod.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess so."

"Besides, you weren't too much older than me. You were seventeen. And your boyfriend was…what? Over a hundred?" Buffy was silent. "I think that's way worse than me and Jake."

"Alright," Buffy said quietly. "You've got me there. Yeah. I was seventeen. No. I didn't regret it. But, there were still consequences."

"Buffy, Jake's not a cursed vampire," Dawn reminded her.

"You've got me again." Buffy sighed. "Ok. I'm…I'm gonna try to understand that you're growing up. You are smart, Dawn. I'm more worried about _him_ not being smart." She cleared her throat. "I guess I just want…no…I don't really want to know, but I just…"

"You wanna know if I've slept with Jake?" Dawn pointed out. Buffy just gave her a little nod, uncertain as to whether or not she wanted to hear this. "You know it's none of your business."

"Dawn…just…you _can_ talk to me, you know? I want you to know that. Even if it's something you don't think you can talk to me about. I'm still your sister, and that's never going to change." Dawn nodded.

"If it'll make you feel better. No, we haven't." Buffy breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"Yeah, it does make me feel better." Dawn raised an eyebrow.

"It doesn't mean we won't. We almost did once, but I…I kinda chickened out."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Buffy explained, putting her hand on her sister's shoulder. "It just means you need more time."

"You're just saying that to keep me from doing it, aren't you?"

"Maybe partly, but it's true, Dawn. When you're _really_ ready, you'll know." Dawn was silent for a moment before giving her sister a little nod.

"Ok. Not to sound like a Whitney Houston song from the 80s, but….how will I know?" Buffy smiled a little and shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess everybody's different."

"Well, how did you know?"

"With Angel?"

"Oh, I know all about that. Diary, remember?"

"Right," Buffy said awkwardly. "Well, with Spike…I don't know. I knew before I died that he loved me. But when I came back, that's when I really saw it, you know? He was always there. He helped me. I saw how much he'd changed. Especially with you. He looked after you, and he didn't have to. I asked him to help protect you from Glory, and he didn't have to stay after I died, but he did anyway. And I started to care for him. And then it just…it happened." Dawn smiled.

"That's romantic."

"Yeah. It is, a little, isn't it?"

"See, I want that."

"You can have it, Dawn," Buffy whispered, squeezing her sister's hand. "You don't have to grow up all at once. You don't have to do anything you're not ready to do. But I do want you to know that I'm here to talk. Even if it's about something I'm not ready to hear. I'll be here, 'cause that's what big sisters are for."

"You mean that?"

"Yeah," Buffy said with a smile. "I know what it's like to want to talk to somebody about something…and not knowing where to turn. I had my friends, but it wasn't the same. Xander freaked out whenever I talked about guys, and Willow had her own boy…and girl problems to deal with."

"Yeah. I guess things like that tend to happen when your boyfriend turns into a werewolf and then down the line you find out you're gay." Dawn shrugged and let out a sigh.

"I don't think you're ready for any of this, Dawn. But that's not my choice to make. Just promise me that whatever you decide to do, you'll talk to me about it, because there's nothing scarier than going through something alone."

"Well…I wouldn't be _alone…"_

"You know what I mean."

"Right. I know. If I need to talk, I will. Don't worry. I don't have any plans to do anything right now. I'll wait until it feels right."

"Don't confuse hormones with rightness. That isn't always of the good."

"Ok. Ok. It's late. Can we eighty-six the awkward sex talk for the rest of the night?"

"Sure. I'll leave you alone."

"Speaking of being left alone…you should probably go get Spike. He might be chip-less, but Jake is a teenager, and I know from firsthand experience this past summer that Spike's got a short temper when it comes to us teenaged-types."

"Oh. Right, yeah, I should do that. G'night, Dawnie."

"Night, Buffy." Buffy hopped up and headed out of the room, hoping that she'd come off a little less overbearing and a lot more supportive. It was scary to think of Dawn growing into a young woman, but it was something that would happen one day. She just hoped that it would be the right decision for her sister, and not because of some curiosity she needed to satisfy.

***

Jake sat awkwardly on the couch next to Spike, who was staring at him like a father glaring at his daughter's first date.

"So, Jake, is it?" Spike asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Did you grow up in Sunnydale?"

"Born and raised," Jake said nervously.

"Any oddballs in your family?"

"What…what do you mean?"

"Anybody who doesn't like to go out in the daytime?"

"You mean like you?" Jake asked, getting a disapproving look and realizing he probably shouldn't have said that. "Uh…no. Unless you count my Uncle Larry. He, uh, he doesn't like sunlight at all. But he doesn't like moonlight. Light in general. He sits in a closet all day."

"Any family members with strange skin conditions?"

"Uh…no? My little sister has acne, if that's what you mean," he chuckled.

"Oh, so it's funny to make fun of a bird for having bad skin?"

"No…I…"

"What if Dawn were to wake up one morning with the same problem? Would it be funny then?"

"Uh…no. I was just…"

"You should treat her like a lady, but if you're doing it for the reason I think you are, then you should think twice, if you know what I mean."

"Um…huh?"

"Dawn has a lot of people who care about her. Big, strong people. Her big sis? A lot stronger than she looks."

"Really? She's just a tiny…"

"Oh, she packs a hell of a wallop, believe me." He smirked when he saw the lad shudder. "I'd be careful this weekend. Not sure where the strength in Buffy's family comes from. Her mum was a strong lady, but I've never met her dad. So I'd watch out."

"But, aren't you just as worried? I mean, you're meeting him for the first time too, so…"

"Jake," Spike said with a shake of his head and a snicker, "I think the attention's gonna be on you. After all, you are dating his youngest. He knows Buffy's an adult, but Dawn is still young. She's still the baby of the family." Jake swallowed even harder.

"You're just saying this to scare me, right dude?" Jake asked, fingers running through his short but too-long-for-Spike's-liking hair.

"Just saying…._dude_…that I'd be careful. Don't try anything stupid, or you'll be answering to a lot of very strong people."

"Stop threatening my boyfriend!" Dawn called from the top of the stairs, as Buffy made her way into the living room.

"Hello, luv," Spike said with a smile in Buffy's direction before shouting loud enough for Dawn to hear. "Not threatening him, Nibblet! Just giving him some advice."

"Well shut up anyway!" Dawn called. Moments later, they could hear her bedroom door shut, and both Buffy and Spike turned their attention to Jake. He smiled nervously.

"Well…uh, I'm beat! I think I'm gonna go to sleep. You, uh…you mind giving me some privacy?" Spike stood up and moved to put his arm around Buffy.

"One more thing. I'm a _very _light sleeper, so I wouldn't try pulling anything tonight," Spike said with a nod toward the young man. Jake looked at Buffy who only nodded at Spike's words.

"Wow. Dawn said her family was crazy, but…"

"Don't go there, Jake," Buffy warned with a smile. "It's easier to just nod at smile." Jake nodded, but he didn't smile.

"Ok. Um…good night?"

"Good night, Jake." Buffy waved Spike out of the room, and lingered behind. "For the record, my little sister really likes you, so try not to mess it up."

"Oh…ok. Um, thanks?" Buffy nodded, and she left Dawn's boyfriend alone to try and sleep after the awkward conversation.

When she started to the kitchen to get a drink of water, she felt Spike's arms pull her against him. He turned her and pushed her back gently against the wall. His lips immediately found her neck, and she stifled a surprised giggle.

"Hey," she hissed under her breath. "At least wait until Jake's sleeping."

"That could take hours."

"It'd be your fault for freaking him out," she teased.

"Hey, it's the Nibblet's future we're talking about. Did you two have a good talk?"

"Yeah. And I'm relieved to the power of ten."

"So that means…"

"That means," she said with a nod, "that my somewhat innocent little sister is still…somewhat innocent." She cringed inwardly, realizing she probably shouldn't have said that, despite the fact that she owed her sister several jabs for the diary reading incidents over the past several years. "Don't tell her I told you that."

"Wouldn't dream of it, pet. Saves me from having to rip his throat out."

"You wouldn't."

"Maybe not, but if you came down those stairs and said something different than what you just told me…"

"Aw, look at you. Protective big brother type."

"When you say it that way, it makes our situation sound a little dirty doesn't it?" he asked with a gleam in his eyes.

"I guess so," she giggled. With a shrug, she leaned in to kiss him, pressing her body against his. She could feel him already beginning to strain against his jeans, and she sighed softly.

"Ready for bed, luv?"

"I'm not relaxed enough yet," she said thoughtfully. "Know what gets me nice and sleepy?"

"I can think of a couple things," he teased.

"Well, yeah. But…come on." She started to lead him away toward the patio doors, but she stopped. "Wait. Dawn and…"

"Nibblet's already snoring away. Carsickness pills must not have worn off yet. Jake's somewhere between awake and asleep, but I think he'll be having nightmares all night."

"You're awful."

"Vampire."

"With a soul. Be nice," she grinned. He answered her with a rough kiss, capturing her bottom lip between his teeth for a minute. When he pulled back, he cocked his head to the side.

"Nice? That's not nearly as fun." She smiled again, her hands moving to his waist. She wiggled her body against his as she kissed him, and she heard that familiar moan escape the back of his throat. Her tongue darted out to taste his lips, and his hands grew tighter on her hips.

"Gotta have you…now." His hands were moving hungrily up her sides, caressing the sides of her breasts.

"Can't…not yet," she breathed, nodding toward the pool. "Wait 'til…mmpfff…sleep…" Spike's mouth against hers made it hard for her to get her thoughts across, but he picked her up in his arms. Her legs wrapped around his waist, and she ground against him. He could smell her arousal and knew she couldn't wait anymore either.

"Pool later," he managed to growl out, as he walked blindly with her up the back stairs, silently thanking the powers that be that Hank Summers had a set of back stairs, so they wouldn't have to separate in order to avoid Dawn's boyfriend's attention.

Buffy's hands were buried in his hair, and her lips were hot against his. He had one arm around her waist, and the other was holding onto the stair rail to keep them from falling back.

Buffy and Spike tumbled blindly down the hallway upstairs, and when they found their room, which wasn't easy, as Buffy wasn't familiar with her father's new house, Spike rushed her inside, depositing her onto the bed. Both stared at each other for a moment as he stood, and their chests heaved, gulping in huge amounts of air as the anticipation built. Spike turned, stalking back to the door, shutting it, and again, thanking the powers that be, because this door had a lock. _Who's the lucky vampire?,_ he thought with a cocky smile.

The minute he turned from the door, he felt two tiny but strong hands push his chest back, pinning him against the door. Her eyes were a fierce shade of green, and her soft lips were a soft red from their urgent kisses.

"I've been wanting this all day," she whispered, her words sending shivers down his spine. As she pressed into him, her hands traveled down, one cupping his ass and pulling him against her. He sucked in a sharp breath, feeling the heat radiating from her already.

"Bloody hell," he murmured, as her hand moved around to stroke the growing bulge in his jeans. Using all the strength he could muster while he was completely under the influence of the scent of her arousal, her darted forward, capturing her in his arms and tackling her to the mattress. She laughed for a moment before she grabbed the back of his head, pulling him down for another bruising kiss.

His hand was already fumbling with the buttons on her jeans. She scooted back on the bed as he helped her maneuver out of them. As he slipped the jeans off of her legs, she raised her shirt over her head, tossing it across the room. Spike pulled back for a moment to take in the sight of her tanned skin glittering with a fine sheen of sweat, her small but perfect breasts heaving and straining against her black, lacy bra.

"So beautiful," he murmured, dipping down to capture her lips with his own again, one hand clenching in her hair as the other reached down, rubbing her through her panties. He could already feel the dampness against his fingertips through the lacy garment. "Let's get you out of these." His fingers began to draw down her panties, but she suddenly used her strength to flip him over and onto his back. She climbed over him, straddling his lower half and pinning it to the bed. She wiggled her hips, the friction making his pants far too tight against his hard cock. "Oh fuck."

"You have _way _too many clothes on," she murmured, her voice low, saturated with seduction. Her hands trained up under his black shirt first, fingers tweaking his nipples just to watch him squirm. He clenched his jaw shut, as her fingers continued to torture him, trailing sensuous circles along his cool flesh.

His hands moved up her hips, her sides, her back, finally finding the clasp of her bra and expertly unhooking it, sliding the straps down her shoulders and letting it fall down her arms. She shook it off and onto the floor, and raised himself up on one elbow, pulling her down with his other arm, taking a hard nipple between his teeth.

Buffy's head fell back, and she continued grinding against him, her body screaming at her to hurry up and undress him.

Her hands were on his shoulders then, and she pushed him back, sliding down his body, her hands working at the button of his pants. He watched as she slid them off, his cock popping out, throbbing for her attention. He immediately reached for it, but she swatted his hand away, crawling back up him, her legs on his thighs. She smiled and curled a hand around his erection.

He hissed inwardly, and she bent down to place a kiss to the tip, running her thumb across the little slit. His eyes rolled back, and he bent his head back as her warm, wet mouth enveloped him, and her tongue slowly began to torture him in all the right ways. Her bright, green eyes stared up at him so innocently while her mouth and fingers were wrapped around his cock, and the sight of it when his eyes met hers nearly made him come on the spot.

The warning sign of his throaty moan made her reluctantly pull back, crawling back up to straddle him. His hands roamed up her thighs and her sides, and he captured her breasts, expertly massaging them for a moment. She threw her head back again, her hands against his chest. But he brought his hands back down to her waist, and in one fluid motion, he had her pinned against the mattress, and he was crawling over her, his hands clawing at the black lacy piece of material that kept him from what he wanted most.

"Spike," she whimpered, as Spike tossed the black undergarment over his shoulder, "please…" He moved up to kiss her neck, and she turned, seeking his lips. This time, this kiss was tender, and he lingered for only moments, before moving back down, settling between her legs and without pause, taking her throbbing clit into his mouth.

"Oh God!" she cried out, grabbing the sheets and nearly yanking them off the bed. Her hips bucked against his face, but he dug his nails into her hips, holding her still, as his tongue circled around the slick little bud.

One of Buffy's hands slid into Spike's hair, and she held him there, as he brought her closer to climax. When she felt him insert two fingers inside of her, she arched her back, her breath catching in her throat. Spike moaned, sending a tremor through her.

"Spike…please. I need to…" It was then that she felt his cool, spongy tongue replace his fingers, and his thumb began to circle her clit, applying just enough pressure to send her over the edge and coming into his mouth. Something like this never could have been as sensual with anyone else.

She gave his hair a little tug, and he crawled back up her body, taking his cock into his own hand. She moaned softly, as he positioned himself perfectly and slid home. She closed her eyes, her walls stretching to accommodate him. She let out a little gasp, and she was met by his lips.

Her arms encircled him, and he hooked one of her knees over his hip and set the pace.

"So fucking tight," he murmured into her mouth, clenching his eyes shut for a moment, trying to keep himself in control. Buffy closed her eyes, her hands moving over the tight muscles of his back. She moaned softly into his mouth as he continued kissing her, but it wasn't long before she gained the advantage again.

Unhooking her knee from his hip, she rolled him onto his back, being careful to steady herself on him. Her hands were tight against his chest as she moved up and down on his shaft, slick with her come.

"Oh God," he murmured, as the vision of her, long hair swishing in front of his face, tickling her breasts and making the little rosy nipples perk up again made him come closer to the edge.

"Hold on," she breathed, picking up the pace a little, angling them just enough that he hit the right spot as he thrust into her. She was silent, her eyes focused right on his, but he could see her lips quivering, and all he could think about was how amazing that perfect little mouth really was. His fingers dug harder into her hips, enough that she groaned a little, but she didn't dare ask him to stop when she felt so good.

She threw her head back, face to the ceiling, eyes shut, inner muscles clenching around his cock, and she felt the world spin around her when he grabbed her, pinning her against the bed again, his forehead resting against hers as he picked up the pace, pounding into her harder.

"Oh God. Oh fuck. Yes! Spike!" she cried out, her nails piercing the flesh on his back, her teeth leaving marks on his shoulder that were deep enough that blood came seeping out. The coppery taste stung her tongue.

The animal within Spike raged with need, and she could feel him fighting it. She knew what he wanted, and right now, she wanted to give him anything he wanted. She pulled her hair back from her neck, and he looked at her, eyes wide with surprise as he continued to move inside of her. "Not too deep."

The bones in his face shifted, and the demon came out. He rested his head against her shoulder for a moment, and she caressed his back, bracing herself for the pain. But when she felt his sharp teeth penetrate the flesh of her neck, she only felt the pleasure intensify, and she cried out as he drank from her. Her legs wrapped around him, and she drew him in as much as she could, feeling her heart pounding as if it were about to break free of her chest.

""Unh….oh…God. Right there." She arched against him, and she pulsed her muscles again. He withdrew his teeth and when he looked back at her, his human face. She smiled up at him, tracing the features of his smooth face with her fingertips. "Love you…so much." Hearing her say it only made him want her more, and he pressed his lips to hers, pulling her tightly into his arm as he plunged into her with renewed strength. The moment he triggered her next orgasm, the bubble burst, and he came inside of her, crying out against her shoulder as she milked every bit out of him.

He held her for several long moments, not wanting to let go of her, but when he pulled out and rolled onto his back, she rolled with him, nestling herself against his cool body. He could smell the scent of dried blood, and he pulled her hair back to examine the damage. Two small, pink marks were all that was left of his claim.

"You realize," he whispered, "that this means your mine now."

"Mmm," she muttered lazily, her body still coming down from such a high. "You realize I've been yours for a while now." She looked up at him, her green eyes sparkling and filled with life. "And you're mine?"

"Yeah. Have been for even longer, pet." He kissed her lips. "You bloody broke the skin."

"That's the point," she giggled, knowing all about claims. Giles had lectured her on them shortly after she'd begun dating Angel, though it was nothing she'd considered doing with him after their first time together resulted in his evilness.

"You…you know what this means though, don't you, luv?" Buffy nodded, smiling sweetly at him, as she kissed his chest.

"Yeah. It means…"

"It means we're mates now. We belong together. Is…is that what you want?"

"It's too late to change my mind now, isn't it?" she teased. Spike could barely even swallow. Claiming was a very old vampire myth, and he'd never heard of it being practiced during his entire life or afterlife. Frankly, he hadn't been sure about its validity until now. As he looked into her eyes, he could see that the bond between them was even stronger now.

They were quiet for several long minutes, and she could feel his uncertainty now.

"You don't regret it, do you?"

"'Course I don't. I'm just worried you might regret it, is all. There's a lot…what if you want a family someday. I can't…"

"Spike, hold on," Buffy whispered. "I'm not a kid. I'm not a teenager that doesn't know what she wants. I know what I want now, and that's you." She ran her fingers through his messy hair, smiling at the way it curled when the gel wore off. "And that's not gonna change."

"It might…"

"Spike?"

"Hmm?"

"Shut up and kiss me." Spike did as she asked, his lips dancing along hers for several moments. When she pulled back, she kissed his forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said softly.

"And don't think I didn't know what I was doing," she warned him. "Even in that state, I can make snap decisions. I promise." She kissed him again and jumped out of bed, pulling him out with her. "We don't have to make a big deal of it, Spike." He looked at her as if she'd grown another head. The Buffy he knew even a couple of months ago would have freaked out at the idea of being bound to him like this. "You should know by now that I don't plan on falling in love with anybody else. You're the only one I want, and I hope I'm the only one…"

He shut her up with a fierce kiss, pulling her strongly against him, not wanting to let her go. He couldn't believe this; couldn't believe her. God, he'd never felt so much happiness in his entire unlife, except for the night he watched her walk down those stairs and back into his life after months of anguish and realization that his eternity would mean nothing without her.

"Of course you're the only one, Slayer. Just never expected I'd be the one you'd want."

"If you haven't figured that out after all the sweaty, nakedness…"

"You know what I mean."

"I know," she said with a reassuring smile. "People change. I guess it's lucky for the both of us that I changed my mind about you." She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. "Now, unless you want me to call Giles and ask him if he can help us break the claim…." Spike shook his head. "Good. Then follow me. We've got some swimming to do."

* * *

_Author's Note: Thanks again for your support and kind comments about my health. I'm still getting back into the swing of the story, so please let me know what you thought!_


	25. Baby Steps

Chapter 25: Baby Steps

By the time morning came around, Jake was ready to get out of the house. Not only was the conversation with Spike last night still weighing on his mind, but the fact that the house was dim due to Spike's so-called migraine problems was making him a little stir-crazy. So, he and Dawn had convinced Buffy to let them go out and hang by the beach for a while. Buffy had agreed, mostly because she was feeling extra frisky, and she wanted some more alone time with Spike before her dad arrived home, which was supposed to be in a few hours.

Now, Buffy was draped over Spike in the bed, and they were both still sweaty and panting pretty hard. Buffy felt a little crick in her neck, and she sat up, rubbing the sore spot. Spike sat up next to her, pulling her hair back and examining the bite marks.

"How's it look?" she wondered.

"Barely see anything. Slayer healing, eh?"

"Guess so." She yawned and stretched a little.

"Does it hurt?"

"Nah. Just feels like I got a shot or something. It's a little tender, but it's nothing I can't handle." She shrugged her shoulders but narrowed her eyes when she saw him staring at her funny.

"What?"

"Do you…you know…feel any different this morning?"

"I don't think so. Why?" Spike shook his head.

"It's nothing. I was just wondering, is all."

"Why were you wondering?"

"Rumor has it that sometimes there are a few extra…goodies that come with claims." Buffy wrinkled her brow.

"What kind've extra goodies?" Spike shrugged it off, getting out of bed.

"Oh, things like telepathy, or even feeling each other's pain."

"Really?" Buffy said with a raised eyebrow. "Well, can you tell what I'm thinking, right now?" Spike smirked.

"You're thinking I need to come back to bed." Buffy's jaw dropped.

"Wha…"

"Lucky guess, pet," he chuckled. "Hit me."

"What?"

"Throw something at me."

"What?! No!"

"Come on, Slayer. We need to know if you can feel what I feel."

"Oh, great. I hurt you and I feel the same pain. No thanks."

"Oh, just do it, Slayer. This is why we're trying it on me, not you." Buffy rolled her eyes and got up out of bed, strutting over toward him, her skin glowing just slightly despite the dimness of the room. She smiled sweetly at him, placing her hands on her hips and cocking her head to the side. She couldn't help but notice something stirring again down south. This was turning him on. Oh, this was definitely of the good.

"You really want me to hit you?"

"What are you waiting for?" he challenged, his voice a bit strained now. "C'mon, Slayer. Give it to me good." She laughed, shaking her head and turning. But she quickly spun around, her fist coming at his face. He caught it, squeezing her wrist and making a face at her. "Good try. With her free arm, she swung around, but he grabbed that wrist too and twisted her around so that her back was now pressed against the door. He moved into her, his firm cock resting between her thighs. She slid against it, moaning softly as her juices coated him.

He leaned into her, pressing soft kisses to her collarbone, trailing up her neck to her ear. He murmured soft words in her ear that made her knees feel like jelly while the rest of her seemed to ignite.

"What were we talking about again?" she murmured, as his lips locked against hers. He moaned softly against her, and he gave her lower lip a little nibble, biting down just enough to remind her they were checking for pain. "Oh…right." And she shoved him. Hard. He stumbled backward, falling against the corner of the bed and tumbling down onto the floor. She heard his head smack against the leg of the bedside table. Her eyes widened, and she gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. "Oh my God! Spike! Are you ok?" He stood up, shaking off the shock.

"Never better, pet. Lucky I've got a hard head." He winced, touching the tender area. "More importantly, are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she said with furrowed brows. "I didn't mean to…"

"It's alright, luv. I told you to do it," he chuckled, bridging the gap between them. Still, Buffy moved behind him to examine the damage. Not even a mark.

"Hmm. Yeah, I guess you do have a pretty hard head." She frowned, and he turned to face her.

"C'mon, luv. Your dad'll be here soon. Should probably get cleaned up." Buffy's lower lip stuck out just slightly.

"But I thought we were gonna…" She saw the gleam in his eye that accompanied his trademark smirk.

"Didn't say we had to get _separate _showers, did I?" Buffy smiled, and she quickly tackled her lover, tossing him onto the bed. He laughed at her urgency and pulled his arms around her.

"Alright, then. The shower can wait. But not long…'cause I've got plans for you in there."

"Oh really?"

"Mmmm," he murmured against her lips. "How about a little preview?" He made his way down her body, spreading her legs, his fingers tickling her in the process. She burst out laughing, and she turned over on her belly.

"No tickling!" she laughed. "That's so not fair." She pushed him off of her but took his hand. "C'mon, Tickles. It's shower time."

***

"What'd I tell you, Giles?" Quentin Travers asked, as he stood in front of Dana Mullens' room.

"It's unbelievable," Giles said with a shake of his head. "What was it you gave the girl?"

"The same thing we've been giving her every day. I told you it would work eventually. She's completely lucid."

"It is a significant change, yes," Giles said quietly. Over the past few days, Dana had gone into a complete shutdown. She'd appeared to be comatose, but just hours ago, she'd awakened, wondering where she was. "Has she any memory of what she's done?" Travers hesitated, and Giles turned to face him.

"That's the interesting part. She has no memories of her crimes. That's what she claims, anyway."

"Have you told her about them?"

"Not yet. But what would be the point of that anyway? The girl doesn't realize she is a murderer. But she realizes she _is_ chosen to do great things. All she has to do is learn how to do them." Giles was stunned. "Think about it, Giles. She's a clean slate. She knows who she is. She knows she's supposed to do something important, but she doesn't seem to recall the events leading her to our care."

"You're suggesting training her, aren't you? Turning her into an active Slayer…without telling her about the terrible things she's done?"

"Why ruin the progress we've made, Giles? She doesn't know she's a killer…"

"But what if she still has those instincts buried somewhere inside of her? What if she does it again? What if her next kill is a human rather than a demon?" Quentin turned back to peer into the room, where Dana looked around, confused and frightened, but she no longer had the frantic, untamed look in her eyes anymore.

"Honestly," Travers breathed, "I don't think that girl exists anymore."

"Doesn't exist? She's sitting right behind this door, Travers. Do you honestly expect me to put all my faith into some drug we know very little about, and just assume that she's forgotten?"

"No, but I do expect you to understand that the world needs a Slayer who is willing to make sacrifices…"

"What are you asking of me?" Giles asked, stepping closer to Travers.

"I'm asking you to do what we've already done. I need you to ask Ms. Summers for her help."

"She won't do it," Giles said with a shake of his head. "She knows how dangerous it could be. Besides, she could be hurt. A murderer with the strength of a Slayer."

"An _oblivious _murderer," Travers corrected. "She has no memory, Giles, and I see no reason why it shouldn't stay that way. She's been tormented enough. She has a clean slate, and all we have to do is train her, and she could become a powerful force against evil." Giles sighed heavily. Deep down, his gut told him that this wasn't all it seemed to be; that Dana, while appearing quite innocent right now, might eventually end up causing more harm than good as a Slayer. But at the same time, he knew that his job as a watcher was to train Slayers against the forces of evil, and if he could make any difference in her, perhaps it would be in making her into a finely tuned warrior for the good side. Maybe it would counteract the past. Then again, it might bring it back. It was a tossup.

"She's on holiday right now."

"That's alright. I'd like to give Ms. Mullens a few days to adjust. We can bring in a team to evaluate her. We have mind readers to be certain she is unaware. We can condition her and test her responses to stimuli…be certain her aggression has ceased." He watched his co-worker carefully. "We can do this safely, Giles. Just have a little faith in the Council. We're still the good guys, remember? All we want is to make the best out of a bad situation. We can rehabilitate her. Look how far we've come with her already."

***

"Are you still mad at me?" Xander asked, caressing Anya's hand as she sat across from him reading a bridal magazine. She didn't answer. "Well, you can't be too mad if you're still planning for the wedding."

"I can plan for _my_ wedding. I'm thinking I'll start a new tradition. Only the bride has to show up." She didn't look up from the book.

"Don't be…"

"What? Stupid? Sorry if I'm not as smart as Buffy. Or not as pretty. Sorry if I'm not worthy enough for you to get jealous over…"

"Anya!" Xander exclaimed with frustration. They'd had this conversation several times over the past couple of days. "I'm not jealous of Spike. For the last time, I don't want to be with Buffy. I want…"

"But you used to. You're upset, because you wonder why she could keep having sex with vampires and not give you a second thought. You never ask me about all the men I've slept with, and Xander, I've slept with a lot. A _lot, _a lot."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because it doesn't matter who I've slept with. You've never liked any of the guys Buffy's dated, because they got to sleep with her, and you didn't. You poured your heart out to her when you were in high school and she turned you down."

"That was years ago. I don't care about that anymore. I want _you_, Anya. That's all I want."

"But you do care about it, because if you didn't, you wouldn't be so angry at her for being with Spike."

"Spike's a vampire."

"So was Angel."

"And look how great that turned out." Xander stared at his future bride, trying to guess who was going to win this argument. She always won. Always.

"You've spent the past month or so obsessing over Buffy being with Spike. Who cares? I don't, because I have _you_. And I hoped you'd feel the same way." He could hear the hurt in her voice, and he saw the worry in her eyes when she smacked her magazine down onto the table top. "Maybe you don't like Spike, but you cut her out of your life because of him. It shouldn't be that important to you. The relationship that should matter is yours with mine. I don't care if I'm selfish. I don't care if you're mad at me for being selfish. It's what I want, and if you can't get over Buffy being with Spike, then I can't go through with marrying you. I don't want to be the one you settled for, Xander."

"I'm not settling," Xander insisted, taking her hands in his. She didn't pull away. "I love you. I do. And if you want me to try to work things out with Buffy and Spike, then I will. If that's what it takes to prove to you that…"

"You shouldn't have to want to do it to prove something to me. She _is_ your friend, and I know that she hasn't always been my favorite person, but I'd like to think you wouldn't give up on somebody so easy. Even if it is somebody you used to be madly in love with." Xander sighed, shaking his head. He smiled a little.

"I was a sixteen year old kid back then. I thought I was madly in love, but I never felt anything close to mad, scary love until I met you. God, Anya, I never felt so sick, terrified, or exceedingly happy than when I was with you." Anya's face softened. "You were the craziest woman I ever met, but the crazy made me love you more. Yeah, what Buffy did in high school hurt me, but the idea of you calling off the wedding because of some stupid issue I have…that hurts more. Please, Anya. Just…please, don't give up on me. I love you more than anything. I love you, you crazy ex-demon." Anya's tears welled more before spilling over. She threw herself across the table at him, folding her arms around him.

"That's the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me," she cried. Xander kissed her softly.

"I'm sorry, An. I'll fix things. I promise. I might not be inviting Spike to any family get-togethers, but I'll make things better. I will." Anya nodded.

"Good, because I want a smooth and happy wedding. I don't want angry stares at the altar."

"You'll have a perfect wedding. We will, I mean." He smiled at her. "Not much longer now, and all this wedding stuff will be behind us." Anya bristled a little, but he squeezed her hand to reassure her. "Then we can get on with the married stuff. Sound good?" Anya smiled, nodding her head.

"Yeah. Sounds perfect."

***

"Spike! Give me the towel! I'm serious!" Buffy yelled, as she and Spike held a standoff in the bathroom. Spike stood next to the bathroom door, as naked as Buffy was, and he held the only towel in sight in his hands.

"You're gonna have to come and get it," he teased, tongue darting out between his teeth for a second. She glared at him, thought long and hard about throwing the soap at his bleached head, and then she darted out of the tub, tackling him out into the hallway and against the hallway wall. He threw the towel toward the stairs, and Buffy started to run for it, but he caught her by the waist and pulled her back against him, his hand moving down her shoulder and around to capture a breast. His lips pressed against her neck, and she moaned, as his free hand moved between her legs.

"Spike," she moaned, not even bothering to fight him anymore. "I'm all clean…"

"Yeah," he murmured with a chuckle, "and you're still all…_wet_."

"Oh God," she murmured, as he slipped a few fingers inside. "Oh…k…Oh God." She turned in his arms, and he slipped his fingers out of her, drawing her close. Her arms wrapped around his still damp back, and they stumbled back into the bedroom, door hanging wide open.

"Want me to make it quick?" he asked, tongue sliding out to taste the flesh on her neck.

"Mmm," she breathed, sliding her leg up and bringing him in. She gasped softly as he buried himself inside of her, and she closed her eyes, head arching back into the mattress.

"Tell me what you want," he whispered, his lips against hers, tasting the minty freshness, tongue sliding along her newly brushed teeth. Her breath still carried the coolness that the mint provided.

When she didn't answer, he started a quick pace, but she shook her head.

"No. Go slow," she breathed. "Make love to me." Her eyes glittered with need and with love, and he smiled down at her, stroking her face, brushing the wet hair out of her eyes.

"Alright, luv," he whispered, kissing her softly. His lips moved down to her neck, softly suckling her there, and just as he began to move slowly within her, the door downstairs opened, and Buffy gasped. "Oh bollocks."

"Shh. Come on," she breathed, pushing back on him as he pulled out. "Get dressed."

"Little hard, pet."

"Yeah, I can see that," she teased, receiving an eye roll from him in response. She dressed quickly, however, as the baritone voice echoed up from downstairs.

"Anybody home?"

"Uh, yeah! Just a sec, Dad!" Buffy called, clasping her bra on and pulling a shirt over her head. Once she was fully dressed, she pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and threw a sympathetic glance Spike's way. "Make it up to you later?" Spike only nodded, and when she flounced out of the room, he focused on getting rid of the raging erection left after an unsatisfactory encounter. Maybe if he thought about how Hank Summers might kill him if he found out the tryst going on under his roof, it would help it go away.

***

"Wow, look at you," Hank said, voice drenched with surprise as his daughter came down the stairs, looking a little flustered but just as beautiful as the last time he'd seen her. Maybe more if it was possible.

"Hey," she said awkwardly, trying to figure out whether she should hug him or punch him. She settled for a nod in his direction. "Um, Dawn's out on the beach with her boyfriend."

"Ok. Well, that'll give us some time to talk. Didn't you bring someone?" He glanced up toward the stairs, expecting someone else to come following after his daughter.

"Uh, yeah. He's um, taking a nap."

"It's the morning."

"Right. Well, he's…he has a headache. He'll be down in a little while."

"Oh. Ok," Hank said cautiously. "I'll just take my things up to my room and change. I'll be down in a few minutes, and then we can talk."

"Great," Buffy replied quietly, fighting back the tears that stung her eyes. She watched as her father disappeared up the stairs with his luggage, before she sat down on the leather sofa, heart racing rapidly. God, what had happened to make him go from a doting father to a barely there figure that was barely more than a sperm donor. What kind of a man stopped being a dad? Better yet, what kind of a man avoided his kids after their mother's death? Those questions raged within her, making the anger completely overshadow the twinge of happiness she felt at seeing her dad again.

Before the divorce, she'd been somewhat of a Daddy's girl, after all. But now…she didn't know what would happen to what little of a relationship they had left. She'd acted as a sister and a parent to Dawn for the last year, and she wasn't even sure if there was a place left for her dad anymore. After everything he'd done…or rather hadn't done over the past few years, she didn't know if she really wanted him in her life anymore after all.

Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself for this long overdue chat. All she had to remind herself was that she had to take baby steps. That's all she needed to do to work toward the closure she so desperately needed.

* * *

_Thanks again for your support and encouragement. Please keep it coming!_


	26. Answers

**Chapter 26: Answers**

As she waited for her dad to come down, knowing Spike was hanging back in her room to give her time with her father, Buffy settled down on the couch with a picture album that sat in the center of his coffee table. She hadn't really nosed through anything in the house, but now, she wondered what pieces of her father's life would be inside to perhaps tell her why he'd been absent for so long.

But when she opened it up and began to thumb through the pages, all she found were pictures of her as a baby, and then there were pictures of her with a tiny Dawn. She smiled, touching the picture of her sitting on her father's lap, while he had an arm around her mother. Joyce held a tiny newborn Dawn in her arms, as they all sat on the sofa the day Dawn came home from the hospital. Despite the false memories, it warmed Buffy's heart.

She smiled a little, as she reached the pages and pages full of awkward school pictures, leading up to the last year that they were all living together as a family. Buffy couldn't help but roll her eyes at the badass persona she'd seemed to have taken on. Leather jacket. Dark makeup. Hair highlighted with…what was that? Magenta?

"Wow," she muttered. "Thank God for changing tastes." She continued to look through the pictures, which stopped about a third of the way through the book. There were packets of developed pictures that had yet to be added to the album. Curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she was already opening them up to peer inside.

Her heart fluttered as she skimmed through the pack of photos from the summer she'd spent with her dad in L.A. It was the summer after she killed the Master. Each picture she was featured in showed the same glassy eyes; the same distant smile that held no real emotions whatsoever, except for the hidden ones that raged behind a calm demeanor.

She stuffed the pictures back into the envelope and opened up another one. These looked a little newer. They were of what looked like a family Christmas. Only, Buffy didn't recognize anyone there. Well, except for her father. He had his arms all over some woman who looked like she'd stepped right out of a magazine. A few pictures later, he held two little girls on his lap, one on each knee. Buffy felt a stab of jealousy just then and quickly put the pictures away. She could hear him coming down the stairs, so she put the album back where it belonged.

When Hank re-emerged, he walked into the living room slowly and scanned the room, obviously trying to figure out where he should sit. He settled for the chair across from the couch, and he sat down slowly, eyes on Buffy, who was looking anywhere but at him.

Several awkward, silent moments passed before Hank cleared his throat.

"So, did you have a safe drive up?"

"We got here, didn't we?" _Wow_. She hadn't expected to sound so harsh so quickly.

"Oh. Yeah. Well, I mean, no problems?"

"It was fine."

"Good. Did you…what is that?" Buffy caught her father's gaze, and she watched him wrinkle his brow.

"What's what?"

"On your neck." Buffy's eyes widened, and her hand flew up to the bite mark.

"Oh. That. Ummm…" She had to think fast, but before she had the chance to respond, her red face told him something else completely.

"Ah, on the other hand, maybe I don't want to know." Buffy quickly put moved her hair over the spot so it would be out of sight, and hopefully to God, out of mind.

"Good call," she said with a nervous smile. "How was your trip?"

"Long. Boring. But I'm glad to be home."

"Yeah," Buffy said quietly. Hank smiled again, seeming to relax some. "What?"

"I don't know. It's…you've just grown up…so much."

"It's been a while. You should see Dawn. You might not even recognize her." Hank looked a little defeated.

"I guess I deserved that."

"You guess?"

"Buffy, I don't want to argue with you…"

"Oh really? That's funny, because I have a few good years of arguing pent up that I'd just love to get out."

"Buffy," Hank said, holding his hands up in defense, "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for everything you and Dawn have been through. I don't know what to say to make it up to you, but I want to try. If you could…if you could cut me a little slack…"

"A little slack? You didn't even call when mom died!" Buffy spat.

"Ok. Wrong choice of words," Hank said quietly.

"Surely you didn't think us coming up here was all about some big, happy family reunion. Because this is _far_ from a happy family. We're barely a family anymore. After everything…"

"Buffy," Hank breathed, "I don't have any good excuses to give you for why I was gone. I'm not even gonna try, because you deserve better than that." Buffy's arms folded across her chest. "You're a grown woman now."

"Grown woman? Yeah, I guess I am," Buffy said quietly. "I had to do a lot of that growing up stuff when Mom got sick. I had to play nurse to her, go to school, take care of Dawn, see my friends, my boyfriend, be the Sl..." Hank furrowed his brows. "I had to drop out of school, Dad."

"I know. I…I'm sorry I…"

"If you could've done something. Sent money to help pay for a nurse…anything. Mom made money, but not enough to pay for her medical bills and pay a nurse. Dad…when we called you, we really weren't looking for money."

"I know. I didn't think you were," he explained. "I was out of the country, and I…"

"You couldn't pick up a phone while you were busy with…who was it, again? Your secretary, or…"

"I was wrong, ok?" Buffy's jaw closed tightly, and she let her father continue. "I got busy with work, and that's when the visits became less often, and eventually, you were caught up with, whatever it was that your mother wouldn't tell me you were caught up in your senior year, and then I guess I just stopped trying. When I had to cancel our visits, you got upset, and when I could make one, your mother always said you were busy." Buffy flinched. "Was she lying to me, or were you…"

"She wasn't lying," Buffy said quietly. "She didn't tell me you called that often."

"I know. She told me that she was worried about you, because you were…you were into something. She wouldn't tell me what it was, but I asked if there was anything I could do. She said there wasn't, and that you could take care of yourself. She just didn't want you getting distracted. And don't think for a minute that I blame her. Whatever it was, you were better off focusing on…whatever it was."

"I don't blame her."

"From then on, I guess I just stopped trying. You were going off to college, and by then, you were too busy to visit." Buffy sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

"You didn't call, Dad. I tried calling you a lot, and…and you never called back."

"I was out of the country a lot, sweetheart," he explained. "I was…I was seeing someone, and I was traveling a lot."

"So that made you, what, incapable of picking up a phone and dialing a few numbers?" Her eyes were glassy again, this time due to the tears that were building up. She forced them back, however, not wanting to let him see her cry because of him.

"I don't have any excuses there, Buffy. I talked to your sister a couple of times, but she…I don't know, she seemed so distant. That first year, while you were in school, she was just sad because you weren't home so much. She wanted to come visit me, but I was so busy, Buffy. I had projects lined up that would keep me away, and I didn't want her staying her by herself."

"So…when Mom got sick…"

"I was with Rosa. We were traveling around Europe. I did leave a number for you…"

"Yeah. And when Mom died, we tried to call you, but the number wasn't any good. So I had to leave a message with your secretary, which funnily enough, was a temp, because your real secretary was with you."

"When I found out," Hank explained, "I wanted to come see you, but Rosa needed me here." Buffy was appalled.

"You wanted to stay here with your girlfriend instead of being with your kids when our _mother_ just died?"

"I'm not saying my reasons were right, Buffy. There was just so much going on, and…"

"It doesn't make up for the fact that you chose your stupid girlfriend over us. Are you even still with her?"

"No," he said quickly. "We're not together anymore. And…and I didn't choose her over you. I…she was in the hospital. She went into premature labor, and the baby was…" Buffy felt a cold chill run up her spine. "Buffy, I had to be there. And I thought…I thought you and Dawn could take care of yourselves. I planned to come visit. I swear to you, I did. But with the baby being so sick, I just…"

"You have another kid?" Buffy wasn't sure if she should be even more hurt or disgusted by the fact that her dad chose his secretary and their kid over her and her sister.

"Had," Hank said quietly. "The baby didn't make it past a couple of months. He was too early, and even though we got to take him home, there were complications. He was…"

"A boy," Buffy said quietly. This wasn't the time for some son-he-never-had speech, and she knew that. So, she just bit her tongue.

"After that, Rosa packed up her and the girls and left. She said she couldn't stay anymore. And it hurt, Buffy. Losing all of them like that. I thought about coming to see you all, but I just couldn't do it. As much as I loved you, I couldn't."

"You couldn't come see your own daughters?"

"Because it just made it hurt worse. You and Dawn were already angry with me, and I knew that. What kids wouldn't be mad at their dad for not calling…not coming by. After everything you went through…I just thought my being there might make it worse." Buffy took a few deep breaths.

"Well you were wrong. Yeah, we would've been mad at you if you had come back, but at least we would've known you actually cared. Instead, you just…you disappeared, Dad. You were gone, and we didn't know what to do." She couldn't hold her tears back anymore.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your son, but having a family with someone else doesn't erase the family you left behind." She shook her head. "I can't…I'm going upstairs. I just can't deal with this right now."

"Buffy, please," Hank called after her, standing up as she hurried out of the room. He took a deep breath, preparing to go after her, but by the time he reached the staircase, he could hear her door slam and the lock turn. He knew that all he could do now was wait until she was ready to talk to him again.

***

The moment she came through the door, eyes red from crying, face streaked with tears, he realized that he'd never seen her like this. Sure, he'd seen her more upset than he'd ever seen, but she'd usually held it in, maybe letting a few tears slip out. But he'd never seen her cry like this before. And it broke his heart.

"Buffy?" It was all he had to do before she let him take her into his arms. He stood there, holding her, rubbing her back, letting her cry it all out. He fought the urge to tear out of the room and give Hank Summers a good beating for upsetting Buffy like this, but he was tamed by her hands clutching his shirt and her warm tears dampening and soaking through the fabric.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, pulling back and wiping her eyes. He took one of her hands in his and used his free hand to brush away a few stray tears. "I didn't think I'd get so upset. I knew…I knew I'd get mad, but…"

"S'alright," he assured her. "What happened?"

"I think…I…part of me wanted him to give me a really good reason why he didn't call, but the best he could come up with was that it was too hard." She shook her head. "I don't understand, Spike. I just…I just don't get it."

"I don't either, pet," he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. "Don't know how anybody wouldn't want you in their life."

"The worst part," she whispered, "is that he had another family. He did. And that family's gone now, and…and I know I shouldn't feel like this, but it's like…like Dawn and I are second best."

"What do you mean, pet?" She shook her head.

"He had a baby with some…Rosa woman. It was when Mom..."

"That so?"

"Yeah," she breathed. "I had a brother." She shook her head. "He died, and Rosa left him. And he just stayed alone. He didn't come see us. I want to be mad at him for it…I want to hate him. But he lost a baby, and…"

"And that's terrible," he said comfortingly, "but it doesn't mean he can cast off the two girls he already had." Buffy looked up into his soft, blue eyes, and she sniffled.

"That's what I said."

"You were right, luv. He might be hurting, but you and Dawn…you had a world of pain of your own to deal with. You shouldn't have had to go through it alone." Buffy relaxed in his arms again, and they lay down together on the bed. She took solace in his cool embrace, closing her eyes and simply thinking of nothing but the way his arms felt around her. When she was there, she felt like she could breathe again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "You shouldn't have to…"

"Shh," he assured her. "I'm here for you, pet. I'll always be here for you." He kissed the top of her head, and she looked up into his eyes. He gave her a reassuring smile and gently rubbed her back. "Don't forget that, alright?"

"'Kay," she agreed with a nod, leaning up to kiss him. "Thank you." He squeezed her a little harder, and she completely relaxed, trying not to think about her anger or frustration; trying to focus on everything she had despite the sloppy tear in the fabric of her life where her father used to be.

***

"I don't understand," Dana said, pacing her room frantically. Giles was alone with her, but he felt assured that she was still restrained by shackles. "What are these for?"

"They're just precautionary, I assure you." He attempted to sound convincing.

"Why am I here? Who are you?"

"You've been having dreams, correct?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I can't remember much of anything."

"You feel stronger? Feel like there's something you should be doing?" Dana looked at him, eyes wide and frightened. "You're a Slayer, Dana. Do you know what that means?"

"No," she whispered, lower lip trembling. "I can't remember…"

"You were in a state of catatonia. You're coming out of it."

"How?"

"Mr. Travers," he said with a nod toward the window. "He administered a drug that…"

"He drugged me? Why? What was wrong with me?" The door opened, and Travers stepped in.

"That'll be enough for today. We should let Ms. Mullens get her rest."

"What the Hell did you do to me?" Dana asked furiously, moving toward the man.

"Calm down, Dana. You'll feel much better after you've relaxed.

"What's a Slayer?" she urged.

"Rest now," Travers suggested. "You've had a big day. We'll talk more tomorrow." With that, he and Giles stepped out of the room, and the door heavily clinked shut behind them. Travers turned to Giles. "So…will you help us? Will you train her?"

"I'm making you no promises, Mr. Travers," Giles insisted. "But I would like more time with the girl. I want to be certain that I'm not about to train someone who may very well be intent on killing innocent people."

***

"I don't know how to introduce you," Buffy said quietly, as she sat next to Spike on the bed. "I feel like you're more than my boyfriend."

"I kind of am, luv." Buffy looked up at him. "We're bonded now. A claim is like a marriage. It might not be on paper, but its…well, it's physical…in us." Buffy nodded.

"Yeah. I know. I'm still a little wigged about the whole 'extra goodies' thing." She shivered a little.

"Yeah. Thing is, and I don't plan on finding this out for many, many years, is that when one of us goes, the other goes."

"You mean…if some demon kicks my ass and manages to snap my neck, you'll die too? Like that? Poof?"

"Poof," he said with a somber nod.

"And you claimed me knowing that?"

"Well, sure. Not like I'd have anything to live for if you weren't here." He saw a sad smile pull at her lips. "Problem is, if I get dusted…"

"So goes me."

"Yeah," he muttered. "In theory."

"Well, let's not think about that then. You just stay away from sunlight and pointy things, and I'll try not to get myself killed. Deal?" She held out her hand matter-of-factly, and he shook it before bringing it to his lips for a tender kiss. "Maybe that's the only 'extra goody' we get, huh?"

"Maybe," Spike replied quietly. "We're going to have to tell your watcher. He'll need to be on the up and up in case he decides he's had enough of a vampire hanging around his slayer."

"You're right," Buffy replied quietly. It would have to happen sooner or later. Better to make it sooner. "Still don't know how to introduce you to my dad. I'm tempted to not introduce you at all and just leave."

"But then you'd always regret not fixing things between you."

"Have you been watching Dr. Phil?" Spike made a face at her.

"You do know he's an Ethros demon, don't you?"

"What? No way!"

"Ponce gets in good with Oprah, and he makes it big. Thinks he's God's bloody gift to…"

"Is Oprah a demon too?"

"Polls aren't in on that one yet," Spike said with a raised eyebrow. Clearing his throat, he got back to the subject at hand. "S'alright, pet. I'm here, so just remember that."

"Alright, but please don't wig out on him. I mean, he might be the bastard that left me and Dawn high and dry, but he's still my dad. I don't want my…pseudo husband to make him into a tasty snack."

"I'm off humans, luv. You know that."

"Yeah, I know," she teased. She took a deep breath. "I guess it's now or never, huh?" He stood up, and he pulled her up with him.

"Now or never."

* * *

_Please keep the reviews coming! If I'm wasting my time posting here, I'll just stop! Thanks!_


	27. Meet the Parent

Chapter 27: Meet the Parent

It was just after sundown when Buffy and Spike emerged from upstairs. Dawn and Jake were seated in the living room with Hank. Dawn seemed to look somewhat happy, and Buffy was glad for that.

"Buffy!" Dawn exclaimed, waving her sister over. "We were just talking about that time we went to Disneyland, and you totally threw up on Goofy."

"I did not!" Buffy exclaimed, her hand seeking out Spike's as they walked into the living room together. He laced his fingers through hers and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "That was you, liar."

"No, I think she's right, Buffy. Remember, you just had that big plate of nachos," Hank explained. Buffy made a face.

"Ok. Enough with the trip down memory lane." Spike smirked next to her. When Buffy and Spike sat down on the couch, she looked across at her father, who looked somewhat uncomfortable now. _Good_, she thought. _I hope he squirms_. Deciding to put her earlier outburst behind her for now, she looked at Spike and then at her father. "Dad, this is Spike. Spike, this is my dad, Hank Summers."

"Mr. Summers," Spike said casually.

"Nice to meet you…Spike." The way Hank said Spike's name sounded oddly similar to the way Giles said it…only not British. "Do you have an, um, actual name, or did your parents have a sense of humor?"

"Dad."

"S'alright," he chuckled. "My given name's William Pratt, but I haven't gone by William in centu…uh, decades." Buffy smirked, internally. _Yeah. Try over ten decades_.

"Decades? Exactly how old are you?" Hank asked, eyeing Spike. Spike cleared his throat and smiled a little.

"Twenty seven."

"And my daughter is twenty."

"I'll be twenty one next month," she corrected.

"Still, that's…that's quite an age difference, don't you think?" Hank wondered. Buffy thought hard about asking him why he wanted to play the concerned father now, but she decided against it.

"Not really," Buffy replied with a shrug. _Besides_, she thought_, if you knew how old he really was, you'd know he looks great for his age_. Hank, realizing that he wasn't in any position to criticize his daughter's choice in men, backed off.

"Alright. How's your head, Spike?"

"Huh?"

"Buffy said you have migraines."

"Oh. That. Yeah. It's fine, thanks."

"Well, how do you all feel about pizza for dinner? There's a great little place down the road. I'm paying," Hank offered.

"Yeah, it's about time," Buffy muttered under her breath. Spike was, seemingly, the only one to notice.

"Anchovies?" Dawn asked.

"Uh," Hank said with a grimace, "I forgot you had your mother's taste in pizza. Alright, I'll get one with anchovies just for you." He patted her head, and she smiled up at him, like she was five or something. Buffy grimaced.

"Great," Buffy murmured. "Spike and I are gonna go for a walk. We'll be back before the pizza gets here." Spike raised an eyebrow and looked at her, and she just nodded at him.

"Right. If we're late, save us some."

"Why are you looking at me?" Dawn scoffed. "It's not like you're going to eat much anyway." She pulled her lower lip under her upper teeth, pretending to have fangs. Buffy rolled her eyes, and she shook her head.

"Dawn, can I talk to you for a minute?" Buffy asked. Hank was already on the phone ordering pizza.

"'Kay," Dawn said with a shrug, following her sister into the hall. "What's up?"

"How'd your talk with Dad go?"

"It was ok," she said with a shrug. "We didn't talk much, because Jake was there, but…it was nice to see him again." Buffy nodded.

"Look, Dad's gonna have a lot of things to tell you when he gets the chance. I just…I don't want you to get hurt."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Just…I don't want you to get your hopes up about us being one big, happy family again."

"Dad said you were kinda upset earlier," Dawn noted. "What happened?"

"We just got to talking. I got upset when we talked about…about after Mom died and why he didn't come see us." Dawn bristled.

"Why didn't he?" she asked quietly, a hint of hesitance in her voice. Did she really want to hear this?

"Maybe I should just let him…"

"Buffy, spill," Dawn ordered. "I can take it. I'm not a kid."

"I know, Dawnie. I'm just…"

"Being the protective big sister. I get it. Spill." Buffy sucked in a sharp breath.

"Dad had another family."

"What?"

"That secretary he was with? She had some kids, and…and they had a son together."

"Really?" Dawn asked, a little caught off guard. "We have a…a brother?"

"No," Buffy said firmly. "He died, Dawnie. He was born early…around the time Mom died. And he was sick, so Dad stayed here. And when he died, Dad didn't…he didn't want…"

"He didn't want to see the kids he forgot about," Dawn pointed out bitterly.

"Dawn, just don't…don't freak out on him too bad when he tells you, ok? I just…I know he's not been Father of the Year for…well, a long time, but…he thought he was doing the right thing."

"By completely ignoring us?" Dawn's voice was getting louder now.

"Dawn…"

"No. Don't try to make excuses for him."

"I'm not, Dawn. Believe me, I'm the last person who'd do that. I'm just saying…yeah, we lost somebody, but so did he. He lost a son, and then his family left him."

"Serves him right," Dawn spat. "He left us."

"Dawnie…"

"Forget it." Hank stepped into the hallway.

"Pizza'll be here in twenty." Dawn didn't look at him.

"I'm not hungry." With that, she headed up the stairs, and the door slammed loudly in place. Buffy turned to look at her dad.

"What'd you say to her, Buffy?"

***

Buffy sat next to the pool in her silky nightgown. Her legs were dangling into the cool water, and she stared at the reflection of the moon on the water's surface. Everybody had gone to sleep, and after a long, long discussion between Dawn, Buffy, and their father, everyone seemed to be in much better spirits, except for Buffy. She couldn't shake the fact that he'd just knowingly let his daughters struggle through the hardest time of their life.

The smooth sliding of the patio doors was followed by a swish as they closed shut. Spike sat down next to her, clad in his everyday clothes, seeing as he didn't wear pajamas.

"S'late," he murmured, lighting up a cigarette and taking a long drag.

"Yeah, I know," she whispered. "I was quite the party crasher wasn't I?"

"What're you talking about?"

"I should've let Dad tell Dawn."

"You were preparing her. You know how she is. She would've handled it worse than you did." Buffy turned her head, resting her head on her own shoulder for a second, her silky blonde hair draping down into her eyes. Spike pushed it out of the way so he could see her better.

"I wanna hate him, Spike. I should hate him. But he's my dad." She turned back to look in the water. "I don't think I'm ever going to get over what he did. How he just let us fend for ourselves. I don't know what I would've done without Willow and Xander and Tara." She smiled sadly, thinking about how different things were now. "They helped pull me through it. If they hadn't been there, I don't know if I'd even still have Dawn."

"You would've made it work, luv. You adapt to any situation."

"Some are harder." She shrugged and watched the ripples in the water that came from the motion of her wiggling toes just beneath the surface. "You know, it's funny. I thought I was mad at him for not being there before Mom got sick, but you know, I'm really not. I kinda gave up on him like he gave up on me. What gets to me is that he couldn't take time out of his own life to even pick up a phone and call his daughters." Spike reached over, brushing a lone tear from Buffy's cheek.

"Don't stake me for sayin' this, pet, but…he's human. He makes mistakes."

"But this…this was…I don't know if I can ever forgive him."

"Do you want to?"

"Want to? Yeah. I think so. I just…I want to be mad at him, too."

"That's normal, pet. I've been around long enough to see when someone loves somebody so much that all they want is for that person to be happy. That's what I see when your dad looks at you. Me, on the other hand, he looks at like he'd cut of my wrinklies and serve them to me on toast." Buffy couldn't help but smile a little at his attempt to lighten the mood. "You only get one dad, luv. Like it or not, that man in there is your dad. Maybe he isn't the best one. I know if I ever had the chance to be a dad, I'd never let my daughter out of my sight until she was thirty. But I can't speak for him. Everybody deals with things differently."

"When did you get so wise?"

"I have my moments," he smiled, pulling an arm around her. "Look, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. But I'm sure your mum wouldn't want you to stay mad forever."

"I don't know. She got pretty mad at Dad there at the end."

"Yeah, but that was different. She wasn't going to have to be linked to him any longer. You, however, have your whole life ahead of you, not taking into consideration your Slayer status." Buffy shrugged.

"I guess. I guess I can give him a chance to be my Dad again." She eyed Spike. "This doesn't mean I forgive him yet, 'cause I don't. But…like you said, he's human. He makes mistakes. God knows I've made my share. Nothing like abandoning my family, but still. I still want him to feel bad though. Really bad for what he did."

"Luv, I think you've got a head start on that one just with my being here." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She sighed, feeling a lot better than she had when she's slipped out here.

"How do you make everything seem so clear?" she wondered. "It's like…a cloud's lifted."

"Maybe it's part of the claim."

"Nah, it's been like that for a long time. Thanks."

"Didn't do anything…"

"Sure you did. You were here. That's…well, it's a lot, Spike. Really." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I never thought I'd say this, but…I don't know what I'd do without you." They sat like that for several minutes, before Buffy finally pulled back, standing up and slipping her gown off to reveal her completely naked body underneath.

"What…"

"I believe I'm supposed to make up for earlier, right?"

"Oh…right," he recalled, memory going all foggy at the sight of her hardened nipples just ready for his mouth. She slipped silently into the pool, the water cold against her skin. But it was a cold she was used to, what with Spike as her living block of ice sleeping next to her most nights.

She disappeared under the surface for only a moment, coming back up, hair drenched, skin sparkling in the moonlight. "What're you waiting for?" Without further prodding, Spike stepped out of his shoes and socks. The pants came sliding down his hips, and the shirt was next. She smiled as he looked apprehensively at the water before making a louder-than-she'd-hoped splash.

He disappeared under the surface for a very long minute, and had she known he didn't need to come up for air, she'd have panicked. When he finally broke the surface, she giggled at the sight of his hair, half slicked back, half curled. Oh, what a sight he was. A gorgeous sight, but it still made her giggle. He took her into his arms, backing her up against the dark corner of the pool, his eyes sparkling as they stared into hers. He began to go back under the water, but she pulled him back up.

"I thought I was making it up to you?"

"We'll get there, luv. I think I'm gonna like this swimming thing." He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. "Think I'm gonna like it a lot." With that, he disappeared under the water, throwing her legs over his shoulders. She let out a soft gasp as she realized that this would be a new experience for her. Never since she'd met him had she been so happy that he didn't need to breathe.

She leaned her head against the side of the pool, gripping onto the edge as hard as she could, as Spike expertly worked on bringing her to orgasm beneath the surface of the water.

When she came, she let out a strangled moan, which immediately led to the barking of a neighbor's dog. Just like that, a light in the house flipped on, and Buffy tugged at Spike's ears, bringing him up.

"Oi…what…"

"Shh!" she hissed, clasping her hand over his mouth. "Don't move." The water lapped softly against their bodies, and soon it died down. She could see her father peering out of his window into the dark night, but when he didn't see anything in the yard, he disappeared and the light went out. Buffy slowly moved her hand from his mouth. "That was close."

"Right," he muttered. "Now where were we?" He moved in for another kiss, but she put her hand against his mouth again. He tugged it away. "What's the idea, pet?"

"I think we should call it a night. Apparently I'm not as quiet as I thought…" Spike narrowed his eyes at her.

"You think you're quiet? Maybe we ought to grab a camera…record…"

"Ew, no!" she hissed.

"Quiet, luv. Don't want to wake the neighbors." He kissed her softly. "Come on, let's get you up to bed. No need to towel off…you're already…" His hands moved to touch her under the water, "soaking wet."

"It's the pool."

"Liar," he teased, kissing her again. With that, he pulled himself out of the water and helped her out. With that, they gathered up their clothes, clutching them to their soaking wet bodies, and quietly slipped back into the house and up the stairs to the privacy of Buffy's room.

***

"No. Dad, I'm not taking your money."

"Buffy…"

"No! We're doing fine."

"That's not what Dawn tells me," Hank interjected. "I can't make up for not being there, but I can help you get back on your feet."

"We don't need your help." She folded her arms across her chest. Yeah, they did, actually, but she could be stubborn about it. "It's too late to make up for…"

"That's _not _what I'm trying to do. I can't make up for any of the mistakes I've made. I know that now, and I'm not trying to. I just want to make sure that my children have what they need. Dawn's worried about child services…"

"She is?" Hank gave her a little nod. "I…I didn't know that."

"She wants to stay with you, and Buffy, I know you love your sister, but love isn't going to keep the state out of your home if you can't provide for her. I want to help you." He cleared his throat. "If you need it…I can take her in for a while, until you find a way to pay the bills."

"No!" Buffy exclaimed. "Dawn has a life back in Sunnydale. She has school. She's not staying here."

"Um, hey, does _Dawn _get any say in this?" Dawn asked from the doorway. Buffy and Hank turned to see the youngest Summers girl come waltzing in, freshly dressed, hair still damp from the morning swim she and Jake had taken out on the beach. It was a small miracle that Dawn hadn't wanted to use the pool, because even though barely anything had happened, Buffy didn't want to think about her sister swimming where she and Spike had gotten a little frisky.

"Dawn," Buffy said quietly. "Well, yeah, you get some say. Of course." She eyed her sister carefully. "Why didn't you tell me you were worried about getting taken away from me?"

"Because I didn't want to stress you out. I know you have…a lot of things to do that keep you busy from getting a job. We still have _some _of mom's money. But…but, it's not gonna last much longer."

"I know," Buffy shivered, reality being served up in a heaping helping, much more than she would have liked right now.

"Look, I know it's late…my offering this, but I want to help you, Buffy. I know I haven't been the best dad. Actually, I've been a pretty lousy one," Hank admitted, "but I'm still your dad, and I want to help. I can have Dawn stay for a while if it's what you need. I can take care of her transferring schools."

"No!" Dawn exclaimed. "I wanna stay in Sunnydale. Jake's there." Catching the gazes of her father and sister, she continued. "And Xander, Tara, and…and Willow, when she gets back. I don't wanna leave, Dad."

"You're sure, honey? I know your mom had legal custody, but…"

"But now you're…I guess you can have it back," Buffy said quietly. "You want to fight me for Dawn?"

"No!" Hank said quickly. "I don't. But if it's best…if you don't want to take my help, I could make it easier for both of you."

"Well separating us isn't going to make anything easier," Buffy pointed out matter-of-factly.

"Then please…take this," Hank offered, holding out an envelope.

"What? So it'll help you sleep better at night?" Hank put the envelope down on the coffee table and stood up, putting his hands in the air.

"I don't expect anything from you. If you leave and I never hear from the both of you after this trip, I'll know you made the only choice you felt you could make. But I can't say I won't hate myself for the rest of my life for screwing up more than I ever thought I could. You can have the money. I won't take it back. If you don't want it, that's your choice, but I'm not attaching any strings here. I may have messed up, but I'm still your dad, and I don't want to see you suffer any more than you already have." With that, he walked out of the room, leaving Buffy and Dawn alone, staring at the package he'd left behind.

"Buffy…maybe we should…"

"Dawn, we don't need his money."

"Yes we do," Dawn urged. "You might be the Slayer, but Slayers don't get paid. Now, I think you should, because it's probably the hardest job anybody could think to have. And you don't have time for a real job. This'll get us through for a while." Buffy frowned.

"Maybe he's right. Maybe you should stay in L.A. for awhile."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Dawn scowled. "No way. I'm going home with you. Take the money, Buffy. It won't fix what he did, but he owes us."

"I can't, Dawnie. It'll be like…like I'm letting it go if I accept it. I can't let it go. Maybe it'd be healthier if I did."

"Maybe," Dawn said quietly. "You're right. You shouldn't take it if that's how you feel." With that, she snatched up the envelope.

"What're you doing?"

"You heard him. He's not taking it back. I'm due for some new clothes. Oh, and there's a nice car I saw somewhere between here and Sunnydale. I think I'll buy it."

"What?! Dawn, give me that," Buffy warned, holding out her hand.

"No. If you're gonna be stupid and not take a little help from our dad…our dad who's trying to offer us _something_ after everything that's happened, I'm gonna spend it on something practical."

"Yeah, like a shiny new car? Fine. Give it to me," Buffy seethed.

"Only if you promise you'll put it in the bank."

"Fine!" she hissed. "But I'm not promising I'll spend it."

"You'll spend it. Because pretty soon, mom's funds are gonna drain dry, and then where'll we be?"

"I hate that I can't just tell you to get lost and threaten to beat you up like when you were little."

"Shyeah, like that ever worked anyway," Dawn said with a roll of her eyes. "Now come on."

"Where are we going?"

"To the bank."

"Now?!"

"Yes, now."

"He actually got to you, didn't he?"

"I don't forgive him for abandoning us, but I don't hate him either. And I know you don't, Buffy. He's trying, and the money? He has plenty of it. So stop being so stubborn."

"When did you turn into the rational grown up?"

"I have my moments," Dawn said with a smirk. "Come on. Please."

"Fine. Just…hold on. I need to talk to Dad first." With that, she left the room, only to find her dad just around the corner. "Oh! Geez. Eavesdropping, much?"

"I'm glad you came to your senses. That's the girl I raised."

"For fourteen years," Buffy pointed out.

"Yeah, but you were always headstrong and had a lot of common sense when you wanted to." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Like I said, Buffy, I can't make up for what I did. But I do love you and Dawn. That never changed. I'm never going to forgive myself for what happened when your mom got sick. Life just turns out differently than you expect." He shook his head. "I never thought Joyce would get sick, you know? Even when we were dating, I never saw her sick. Not even a sniffle. I just didn't know how to believe it."

"Yeah. She was always super Mom. If she didn't feel well, she hid it. But it got to the point when she couldn't hide it anymore." Buffy felt her eyes dampening again. "Then we thought it was over. We thought the surgery was the end of it." She let a few tears fall free. "I was scared, Dad. I didn't know what to do when I walked in and found her like…like that."

"I'm so sorry, Buffy," he whispered. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I should have been. I…"

"Don't," she said briskly. "Please, just…don't."

"Ok. Is...is there anything…?"

"I didn't know how to go on after that. It was like I was on pause, and the world around me was in slow motion. I had to be strong for Dawn. I couldn't let her see me cry, but that just…it made it worse. She needed me to be strong, but at the same time, she didn't need to be alone feeling like she did." She shook her head. "I didn't want to involve her in the funeral arrangements, but that made things worse. I just…I wanted to protect her, you know?"

"I know, Buffy," he said, guilt playing over his face.

"And you…you weren't there. And for a minute, I thought that was good, because…because I could do it on my own. But when it came down to it, I needed you. You weren't there, and I needed my dad!" Her shoulders were shaking now, but the anger was gone. When he looked at her, all he could see was his little girl desperate to cling to a part of her life she'd thought she'd lost. But she was having trouble letting go of all of the hurt.

"It's ok to not be strong sometimes, sweetheart," Hank whispered, reaching out to touch her shoulder. She moved away from him. He'd sounded so much like her mother just then.

"Mom said that to me once," Buffy sniffled. "When she was laying in bed sick. She told me it was ok. I'd never let her see me cry like that before." She couldn't stop the outpouring of emotion now. The floodgate had slammed opened, and there was no off switch.

Hank stepped closer to Buffy, and this time, she didn't shrink away. "Before the surgery, when she thought she was gonna die, she told me…do you wanna know what she told me?" Hank swallowed hard and nodded slowly. "She told me to forgive you. She knew I was upset that you didn't come to us. She said she knew you were a good man, and whatever reason you had for being away, it had to be good." She wiped at her eyes. "And I told her nothing was more important than our family, and you let it slip away. You let us go." She blinked a few more tears out, and a fresh batch began to well in her eyes. "I want to hate you, Dad. I want to, but I can't. And it makes me angry, because I think hating you would be the only thing that would make me feel…"

"Better?" he guessed. Buffy nodded.

"But I don't! I don't hate you. I didn't know about Rosa. Or about your baby. I just…even if I had, I'm not sure I could've cared then. Not with mom…not with everything going on." She swallowed hard. "I needed my Dad. I needed you, and you weren't there."

"I'm so sorry," he offered, not knowing what else he could possibly say. "I wish I could fix it. I wish I could take it back." Buffy was standing before him now, a completely wreck, and the lump in his throat grew bigger. "Can I…" She only nodded, and he stepped in, enveloping her into his arms. With that, she crumpled against his chest, and he held her tight, kissing the top of her head. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry."


	28. Merry Christmas Eve

Chapter 28: Merry Christmas Eve

The next few days went much more smoothly. Sure, things were still tense between the Summers girls and their dad, but at the same time, the air was clearing, and Buffy and her dad had actually shared a couple of laughs. Things would never be the same between Buffy and her father. They'd never have the relationship they'd once had, and she was sure of it, but it was nice that they were talking now. In the past couple of days, Buffy had had a couple minor little outbursts in his direction, but they'd managed to talk through things, and the tears had ceased for the time being. Still, Buffy wasn't quite sure she would ever see him again after this visit. Part of her was oddly at peace with the idea.

Today was especially cheerful around the Hank Summers home. It was Christmas Eve morning, despite the fact that it looked more like late afternoon with all of the shades drawn, and any uneasy feelings were set aside while everyone passed around gifts. Back before the divorce and everything, it had been a tradition for them to do their family Christmas on Christmas Eve and go around visiting other relatives on Christmas day. This year, they'd decided to go with the once time-honored tradition, despite the fact that that tradition had fizzled out the year after the move to Sunnydale.

Hank had presented Buffy and Dawn with gift cards to stores he knew that they had in the Sunnydale area. At first fearing that his gifts wouldn't be good enough, he was eased by his daughters' telling him that money for clothes was always of the good.

In return, they'd bought their father a gift card to a restaurant they remembered him enjoying. Spike couldn't help but realize that the Summers family wasn't big on the whole going out and shopping for the perfect gift aspect of Christmas. But they seemed pleased with their presents, so he didn't say a word.

Dawn had bought Jake some advanced guitar lessons, which he thanked her for with an uncomfortably long kiss that made Buffy squirm. Spike just squeezed her hand, and she reminded herself that it was Christmas, and she and Spike did much worse in the shower that morning.

Jake had presented Dawn with a lovely little charm bracelet, and Buffy couldn't help but glance at Spike, wondering if he'd gotten her anything. She'd told him one night that he didn't have to worry about it, but he never mentioned it either. Still, if he didn't, that was ok, because she wasn't too thrilled with the gift she'd finally settled on for him.

"Here Dawnie, open mine now," Buffy urged, pushing a gift her sister's way. Dawn handed Buffy an unwrapped present in exchange. The two grinned at each other as if they were still small children hurrying to be the first one to open their gift. Dawn squealed with delight when she saw a shirt similar to one she often snagged out of Buffy's closet.

"I got you your own so you stop stealing mine," Buffy laughed.

"Thanks, Buffy!" Dawn laughed. "Now hurry up and open mine, slowpoke."

"Ok, ok." She quickly tore the paper off and tossed it over her shoulder. Inside was a heart-shaped locket, sans chain.

"I couldn't afford the chain."

"Oh, Dawnie, it's beautiful. I have the perfect chain at home." She grinned, examining the little trinket.

"Open it up." Buffy used her nails to gently pry open the locket, and inside was a little black and white picture of Buffy, Dawn, and their mother taken a few months before Joyce grew ill. Buffy's eyes welled with tears, and Spike gently rubbed her back.

"I love it, Dawn. Thank you…thank you…" She placed the locket back in the little box it came in, not wanting to lose such a touching gift.

"Ok. Who's left? Buffy, Spike?" Hank asked, scanning the sleepy Christmas crowd.

"Oh yeah," Buffy muttered. She pulled out a little box, and he pulled out a box that was coincidentally, quite similar.

"You go first," Buffy offered, handing him his gift. Spike eyed her with a curious smile before taking the gift from the wrapper. He couldn't hold his tongue at the sight of the little black box.

"Something you want to ask me, luv? 'Cause traditionally, the man does the asking…"

"Shut up and open it," she said with a coy smile and a roll of her eyes. He opened the top of the box, and Buffy's heart jumped at the look in his eyes. He was utterly shocked.

"Where…where did you…"

"Anya gave me a great deal," Buffy remarked. It was a simple white gold ring, similar to one he already wore, only in the center was a solid black stone. "It's obsidian. I picked out the least girly one. It just reminded me of you for some reason. Plus, hey, it goes with everything you wear."

"I love it, pet. Thank you." He leaned in to kiss her, and Buffy's hand squeezed his thigh, eliciting a clearing throat from the other side of the room. Reluctantly, she pulled away. "Ooh, my turn!" Spike handed her the box, and she braced herself, wondering if vampires had good taste in Christmas gifts.

"Guess there's a jewelry theme this year, eh?" he asked, as Buffy opened the box and focused on the necklace delicately placed inside. It was a dainty white gold, teardrop necklace, only in the center of the pendant was a gorgeous peridot stone.

"Spike…it's gorgeous…I love it!"

"Was gonna get you your birthstone, but I thought this would match your eyes." Buffy could have melted right then and there, but instead, she turned around, motioning for him to put it on her. When he had the little clasp fixed, Buffy touched the beautiful stone, and she smiled from ear to ear.

"Wow," Dawn whispered. "That's…how did you pay for that?"

"Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed. "That's…"

"S'alright," Spike said with a chuckle. "I didn't nick it. I had some money saved back, and…"

"You steal things?" Hank asked. Spike cleared his throat, and Buffy jumped to the defense.

"He was kidding," she said with a forced laugh. "He's such a kidder." Spike followed Buffy's lead and forced a fake laugh, too, and Buffy smiled at her dad.

"So, uh, Spike," Hank said thoughtfully, "I don't think I ever asked how long you and Buffy have been…together."

"Not quite two months," Spike pointed out.

"That's an awfully expensive present to get a girl you've only been dating a couple of months." Spike pulled his arm around Buffy's shoulders.

"Yeah, well, she deserves it."

"I won't argue there," Hank offered, "but, uh what is it that you do, exactly? You never really…"

"Spike's between jobs right now, Dad," Buffy pointed out. "He, um, he uh…well, he's done some work in graveyards, and sometimes…he, um, helps out at our friends' magic shop." She bit her tongue. Saying the work 'friends' in reference to Xander and Anya felt like a big stretch these days, and that made her sad. She flinched and looked up at Spike. "Right, sweetie?" Spike had to take a moment to figure out his answer, as hearing her call him by those pet names still felt so new.

"Uh, right," Spike said with a nod. "I play a bit of poker too, and I'm pretty good at it if I do say so myself." Hank looked at him suspiciously. "Do you play poker, Mr. Summers?"

"I do, actually. There isn't much profit in gambling, unless you're lucky."

"He gets lucky a lot," Buffy pointed out, suddenly realizing how dirty that actually sounded. Her eyes widened, and Dawn snorted a laugh. Even Jake, who was usually pretty laid back, couldn't help but stifle a laugh. "I mean…well, you know what I mean."

"Well, I do hope you'll take care of my daughter. Same goes for you too, uh, Jake. I know you're sixteen and just getting a little independence, but that doesn't mean you can treat my daughter any…"

"Dad," Dawn warned. It was Buffy's turn to smirk. Finally the pressure was being focused somewhere other than on Spike. "Hey, I have an idea. Let's go to the mall… and see if we can spend some of these gift cards." Buffy shot her sister a look, and Dawn backpedaled. "Uh, I mean, let's…uh, watch movies! Yeah, I hear the Grinch is going to be on later…"

"Oh, what the heck? Let's go to the mall. I've forgotten what it's like to shop with teenage girls. At least I won't be alone in my misery, right fellas?" He looked from Jake to Spike. Buffy looked at Spike, panicking.

"Um, you guys go on. I'm kinda beat…all that getting up early and stuff. Spike, you look kinda pale…is your head hurting?"

"He _always_ looks kinda pale," Dawn whispered under her breath. Buffy shot her a glare, but Spike cleared his throat, catching on to Buffy's hint.

"Uh, yeah. You, uh, wanna grab my…um…headache pills, pet?"

"Sure," she said with a nod, standing up. "Go on…it's ok, really. If Spike's feeling up to it, I'll drag him with me later before some of the shops close."

"If you're sure," Hank said with a concerned head tilt. "Well, alright. We'll bring home something for lunch."

"'Kay," Buffy said with a nod. "Have a good time. And Jake? I hope you lift weights, because knowing my sister, she's gonna have a _lot_ to carry."

"Oh yeah, like _you _have room to talk, Miss Buy-Every-Pair-of-Shoes-in-the-Store." Dawn flashed her sister a teasing grin as she disappeared around the corner. Buffy relaxed against the couch, shrugging her shoulders.

"I didn't buy _every _pair," she insisted. At that moment, Spike pounced, pulling her around and laying her back that he could crawl over her on the couch.

"Alone at last," he murmured suggestively, as his hands began to maneuver up her silky shirt. Buffy laughed.

"You don't waste any time, do you?" she giggled, as his lips and tongue tortured the soft flesh of her neck.

"Mmmffffflufff," he murmured. She laughed harder. His fingers dug into her sides, tickling her ribs.

"Oh my God! No! Stop!" she laughed, kicking her legs but not hindering the vampire one little bit.

"How long'll they be gone?" he asked before diving down to suckle at the hollow of her throat. She tilted her head back and tried to focus on his question.

"Mnah," she moaned, closing her eyes.

"Hmm?" he urged, his hands working with her zipper, shimmying her jeans down her hips enough that he could slip a few fingers under the waist of her underwear, feeling how wet she was for him.

"Shopping…could be…oh…hours," she moaned. "Plus, it's Christmas Eve. Last minute shoppers. Could be….days," she teased.

"Who's the lucky vampire?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. Buffy smiled before sucking in a sharp breath as his thumb began a rhythmic dance around her clit.

"Oh fuck," she moaned. "Spike…" He started to pull her pants all the way down, but she stopped him.

"Not here. Too…weird," she said with a shake of her head.

"What? We did it in the bloody bathtub last night and this morning in the…" Buffy shot him a look and he sighed, pulling himself off of her, trying to remain upright while his cock strained harder against his jeans. "Up you go, then." He pulled on her hands, tugging her up. As soon as she was standing, she took off in a mad dash for the stairs. "Oi! Wait up! Do you know how bloody hard it is for a man to run when he's this sodding…hard?" But she showed no signs of stopping. Instead, he was hit in the face by her bra first and then her shirt as they came floating down the stairs. He took the garments in his hands, wondering for a moment how she'd gotten the bra off first, but picking up the speed as he realized he didn't really care. The only thing his cock would let him think as he shortened the gap between him and the Slayer was: _Naked Buffy._ By the time he reached her bedroom door, she was lying on her bed, legs spread for him, every inch of her naked body looking particularly delicious.

Buffy could see his eyes darken from across the room, and she smiled, waving her finger in the air as he started to cross the threshold.

"Ah, ah."

"What? Buffy, come on…"

"You have to be at least _this_ naked to enter," she said with a sultry grin, moving her hands down her breasts to clamp against her pussy. She began to wriggle there on the bed, and he stood, jaw dropped, at the sight of her starting without him.

"Think I'm gonna like this ride," he practically purred from the door. She laughed as his shoes went flying, making two hard smacks against the wall. As she arched her back, her own hands moving rhythmically against her sopping pussy, he finished undressing himself and pounced. She gasped as she felt his cool body slide over hers, his mouth attacking hers with such ferocity that she lost her breath for a moment.

Her scent was driving him mad, and he began to descend down her body, wanting to go slow and torture her. But his own needs won out, and he found himself already suckling on her throbbing clit.

"Oh God. Spike…oh…yeah," she moaned, her voice going up an octave at the end. "Please…oh God…don't stop." He plunged two fingers into her tight entrance, always amazed at how tight she was after all of the mind blowing shagathons they'd had over the past couple of months. It was just one more thing he adored about her.

He replaced his fingers with his tongue, the cool, firm pressure bringing her over the edge, as his thumb tended to the needs of her clit.

"Oh God! I'm gonna…ohhhhh….." She let out a few slow breaths as Spike lapped up her juices and then rested his chin on her stomach with a satisfied grin.

"Merry Christmas Eve, luv."

"Oh…best…present…ever," she gasped between hearty gulps of air.

"Thought the necklace…"

"Close second. Definitely," she said with an urgent nod. He crawled back up to kiss her, and she moaned at the taste of her own come on his lips. His tongue danced with hers for several long minutes, and he groaned against her lips when he felt her hand wrap around his cock. She began to pump slowly, rubbing her thumb over the tip, making his shudder and bury his head into her neck.

"Your turn," she said, eyes twinkling. She let go of his cock long enough to use her strength to pull him onto his back. She straddled his knees, her hips keeping them firmly against the mattress. Spike folded his arms behind his head so he could see her better, and she smiled, reaching a hand between her own legs and bringing it back to his cock, slathering it with her juices.

"Oh fuck," he grunted, nearly coming right on the spot. She smiled devilishly and brushed her hair behind her shoulders. Finally, she swooped down, taking him in as far as she could stand, and then rolling back up, sucking her cheeks in and lingering a little longer on his tip. She released him, and his cock flopped back onto his belly. "Christ!"

"More?"

"Oh God yes," he groaned, as her hand began pumping him again. She smiled with satisfaction, leaning down again, this time to trace her tongue along the head, tasting the salty drop of pre-come that was slowly beginning to slide down his shaft.

He watched her intently. Those gorgeous green eyes sparkled as her matching necklace swung back and forth, and her breasts bounced along with her. The longer he watched her, the closer he felt to exploding, and when she could feel that familiar quiver, she reached down, cupping his balls, giving them a firm but gentle squeeze.

"Slayer!" he roared out, spurting into her mouth, as she took down every last drop. When he was finished, she released him, crawling up to rest against him, smacking her lips a little.

"Tasty," she smiled.

"Glad you enjoy it, pet. I prefer the taste of Slayer."

"Hopefully just one Slayer," she warned him.

"Just one. Just you," he promised, stroking her soft hair. After a few minutes of silence, she couldn't help but chuckle again. "What's so funny?"

"You," she laughed.

"Me? Why am I funny?"

"You could've been an actor. I've never seen you so…well-behaved. I thought for sure you'd…"

"Ye of little faith."

"What? No. It's just…well, things with my dad haven't been…well, fantastic. They've been bordering on terrible, but you're Switzerland. You're neutral."

"Not neutral, luv. I'm completely on your side. Think he's a bleedin' idiot."

"Well," she said, patting his chest, "at least when he's in the room, you behave."

"And I don't other times?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. She laughed.

"They've been gone less than fifteen minutes, and we're already naked. And sweaty." Her hand traveled between his legs, feeling his cock twitch as her little hand wrapped around it. She began to pump him until she felt him begin to stiffen again. With a smile, she kissed his lips.

"Right…" Spike suggested, "no more talk about your dear old dad then." Buffy smiled, and she let him roll her onto her back, and after several minutes of clumsy kisses, mindless groping, and desperate cries of desire, he plunged into her, roaring as he did so.

She bit his shoulder, knowing she was playing with fire, and she moaned against his cool flesh, as he began to rock his hips against hers. She moved with him, helping him set a steady pace, and as she suckled on his cool neck, she let her teeth do some of the work, scraping and nipping, but not breaking the skin.

"Buffy," he groaned, as her hand moved to his ass and pulled him in closer.

"Here…" She lifted up a leg, draping it over his hip so he could adjust better, and he slid a little further into her, feeling as if he were being pulled into an inferno. A very wet, very tight, very mouth-watering little inferno.

His thumb pressed against her clit again, and she nipped at his shoulder.

"Playing with fire, luv," he groaned into the pillow case her head rested on. She heard him loud and clear, but her mouth moved up his neck again, and her tongue trailed along, feeling the rumble from the strong groans he let out. She smiled, reveling in the knowledge that she could do such things to him.

"Yes!" she cried out, as his teeth grazed against her neck in response, and his thumb continued to torture her clit. He was pounding into her now, and he wondered if the average woman could take it. But this was no average woman. This was the bloody Slayer.

"Getting warmer," she moaned, letting him know he too was playing with fire. But when the head of his cock hit her cervix, she climaxed and cried out, her teeth digging into his neck until she tasted blood.

"Buggering…fuck!" he spat out, his face changing, his teeth elongating. She pulled back, surprise in her eyes. This wasn't the first time they'd done this, but damn, each time felt like the first time. She turned her head, pulling her hair out of the way. He found the soft, slightly discolored puncture marks, and he closed his mouth over it, sinking his fangs in until he felt the warm surge of blood pooling into his mouth and rushing down his throat as he spilled his seed inside her.

When he heard her cries turn to whimpers, he pulled back, his face turning back into the same smooth, flawless one she'd grown to adore. His fangs retracted, and he was left with Slayer blood on his lips. He quickly licked it away and pulled out of her, rolling on his side, feeling that primal reaction to gasp for breath despite his needing to.

"Oh…my God," Buffy breathed, hand pressing to her wounded neck. She turned to face him, and he saw the blood still seeping out. Leaning forward, he pressing his lips against the soft flesh and tenderly traced his tongue over the marks until the blood ceased. When he pulled back, Buffy surveyed the damage on his neck. It wasn't bleeding anymore, but she could see teeth marks.

"That's…that's gonna be interesting to explain," she said with a sheepish smile.

"S'alright," he said with a sated smirk, pulling her against his cool body. They lay together, both enjoying the silence that came after earth-shattering sex. It was a time when no words needed to be spoken. But Buffy lifted her head anyway, smiling.

"Spike?"

"Hmm?"

"Merry Christmas Eve."

* * *

_Thanks again for your awesome and helpful feedback! Please keep it coming, and I'll keep writing the chapters. :)_


	29. Daddy's Little Slayer

**Chapter 29: Daddy's Little Slayer**

"I have to say…this is a first," Dawn mumbled through loud crunches on a handful of potato chips. "A campfire on the beach on Christmas? Definitely not on my list of bad Christmas traditions." She wriggled her toes in the sand. Jake smiled at her and took another large bite of his third hotdog. The boy was skinny as a rail and just starting to get a little muscle on him, but he didn't look like he could hold much more food inside of him. But as was the case with most teenage boys, it was a mystery where they put all that food.

Spike was seated in the sand, knees bent, legs open, Buffy sitting between them, leaning her back against his chest. Hank and Spike were fully dressed, but Jake was in his swimming shorts, and Buffy and Dawn both wore their swimming suits. Dawn's was a blue bikini with a matching sarong, while Buffy opted for the black bikini with a matching sarong around her hips.

"Want a s'more?" Buffy asked, offering the gooey glop of melted chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers to Spike.

"No thanks, not hungry," he said with a smirk. She situated herself between his legs, only to feel something poking her in the backside. She looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes questioning his. He leaned in, brushing his lips over her ears. "Sorry, luv. It's your bloody fault wearing that skimpy little thing." Buffy just grinned at him and popped the rest of the s'more in her mouth. "On second thought…" He pulled her sticky hand up to his mouth and licked her fingers. Each newly clean finger popped from his mouth with a resounding smack. Dawn made a face, and Hank cleared his throat.

"Who wants more hot dogs?" he asked.

"Uch, I'm stuffed," Buffy groaned, placing her hand on her belly.

"Me too," Dawn replied.

"I'll take another one…sir," Jake said, clearing his throat. Hank popped another hot dog off of the stick he'd been holding over the fire. It landed on Jake's plate, and the teen quickly gobbled it up.

"Spike? Are you sure you're not hungry? You haven't eaten much…" Spike had eaten half of a hot dog out of courtesy. But he'd gone through two bottles of beer.

"Don't have much of an appetite, but thanks," Spike replied. He whispered something else in Buffy's ear, and her cheeks turned bright pink.

"I think we're gonna go for a walk. 'Kay?"

"Alright, but don't be too long. I could use some help cleaning this up."

"Don't worry," Buffy said with a quick nod. "We won't be long." She stood up, and Spike stood with her, quickly kicking the other half of his hot dog into the fire without anyone noticing. But just before they could turn to leave, a shrill scream startled everyone around the fire.

Peering around, there was no sign of life. The beach was always empty at night. It was L.A. after all.

"Did you hear that?" Jake wondered.

"We _all _heard that," Dawn replied, quickly glancing at her sister. Buffy looked around, trying to spot whom the scream might have come from. Luckily for the group, a vampire was amongst them, and with his keen night vision, he quickly pinpointed the area.

"There." He pointed.

"I'll be right back," Buffy said quickly, moving away from the campfire.

"What? Buffy, you could get yourself killed!" Hank warned. "Spike and I'll check it out, alright?"

"Shyeah," Buffy muttered, just as another scream pierced the air. "Dawn, Jake, wait here with Dad. Spike?"

"Right behind you, luv." The two rushed off, and Hank called after them, but it was no use. He started to go too, but Dawn caught his arm.

"She can handle herself, Dad. She's uh…taking self-defense classes."

"That doesn't mean she won't get hurt," Hank pointed out. "Stay with Jake, honey. I'll be back." Hank rushed down the beach, and Dawn winced. Finally, she started off after him.

"Hey!" Jake called. "Wait up!"

***

"Ow! Bugger," Spike spat as he turned out of a roundhouse kick to find a fist in his face. He grabbed his opponent by the collar of the shirt and held him up off the ground. He leaned back before delivering a quick head butt.

"Spike! Over here!" Buffy called, waving at Spike as she stepped through a haze of vampire dust. Spike threw the demon at Buffy, and he landed on the pointy end of a makeshift Mr. Pointy. Buffy waved his remaining dust away and knelt down in the sand to comfort the girl.

"Are you alright?"

"I…I think so. What…what were those guys?"

"Nothing you need to worry about anymore. Where do you live?"

"Just over there," she pointed out.

"Alright. Spike, will you walk her home?" The woman looked at Spike, wondering if she could trust him.

"Who are you?" she finally asked, turning her attention back to Buffy.

"Just a concerned citizen?" Buffy offered. The woman furrowed her brows, but Spike ushered her away, just as the rest of the group came running up breathlessly.

"What part of 'wait here' don't you people understand?" Buffy asked, hands on her hips. Her ripped sarong fell at her feet, and she looked down, groaning. "That was new, too."

"What happened?" Hank asked, doubling over, hands on his knees as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Uh," Buffy stammered, "um, mugger. Yeah. Big, ugly mugger. Lucky for him he got away."

"How many were there?" Dawn wondered, treading carefully on the boundaries of the conversation.

"Just two," Buffy assured her. But when Dawn's gaze focused over Buffy's shoulder and her eyes widened, she felt her stomach drop.

"Uh…ya sure about that?"

Buffy had no time to turn and look or to avert her dad's or Jake's eyes, because the vampire was right behind her. He clawed at her shoulder, and she reached around, pulling his arm hard, flipping him over into the sand. Her hand was firmly on the stake, and her arm twitched, as if independently knowing what she was supposed to do. So, instead, she kicked him in the stomach and leaned down to deliver a jaw-cracking punch to his face. Hank stumbled backward a little at the sight of his daughter mid-fight.

But, Buffy let the vampire up, hoping he'd run off. Instead, he lunged for Dawn, who screamed, especially when Jake jumped in front of her to protect her. However, just before his brain could register the danger enough to let out a scream, the strange-faced attacker disintegrated into dust before his eyes.

"Whoa," Jake muttered, falling down into the sand, completely unconscious. Buffy's chest rose and fell, and her heart was charged with adrenaline. But when she saw the surprised look on Dawn's face and the more-than-flabbergasted one on her dad's, she didn't know what to say.

"Are you hurt?" Buffy asked Dawn and then Jake.

"I'm fine," Dawn stammered. "Buffy, I can't believe you just did that…you know…in front of…"

"What was that, Buffy? What…he wasn't…"

"He wasn't human," Buffy muttered. "Dad, I beg you not to ask me what happened. Just…trust me. Everything's fine."

"I don't know what to…"

"I don't wanna talk about it right now. Please, just…let's get back to the house. Then we'll talk, ok?"

"That was totally awesome," Jake murmured, standing up and brushing the sand away from his swimming shorts. "That was the coolest thing I've ever seen. How'd you do that? And what was wrong with that guy's face?"

"Uh…it's been a long night. We…uh…"

"Dawn, your sister's like…a superhero or something." Dawn rolled her eyes.

"I think you hit your head harder than you thought. It was just a mugger."

"No way. She totally dusted that guy. You saw it, right Mr. Summers?" Hank swallowed hard and caught the pleading look of his daughter.

"Uh…it was a mugger, like Dawn said. Buffy did rough him up a little though."

"Oh," Jake said, shaking his head and squinting his eyes. He rubbed the spot on his head that hurt from where he'd fell on what must've been a rock or a seashell. "Well, it was still awesome." Buffy felt a little creeped out by the way her sister's boyfriend was looking at her like she was some kind of marble statue up for display in some ancient museum. He looked at her like…like…She brushed off the thought.

"Come on. Let's um, let's go back to the house." She turned at the sound of shoes on sand, and Spike came jogging back over, running his hand through his slicked back hair.

"So…what'd I miss?"

***

"How'd he take the news?" Spike wondered, as Buffy walked into their room and closed the door. She frowned and padded over to the bed to sit down next to him.

"When I told him I'm the Slayer, he said he heard Dawn call me that."

"When?"

"A couple days ago when he was eavesdropping."

"And he didn't pick up on it?" Spike asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, considering he's human and hasn't had to come face to face with many demons, that he knows of, he's never heard of a Slayer. He just thought it was some cool nickname. That's my dad. Blissfully unaware. Well, he was until now."

"So what's he think?"

"I don't know," Buffy said quietly.

"Think he'll keep the secret?"

"My Dad? He'd be too afraid somebody'd think he was crazy and lock him up. He's not gonna say anything."

"So, uh, does he know you're dating a vampire? A very good-looking vampire, if I might add?" Buffy rolled her eyes.

"No. I didn't want to give him a heart attack. We're leaving in a couple days, and at least he knows now to be careful when inviting people into his house. Besides…I gave Angel a call, and he's gonna do a little patrolling and make sure no more vamps come around this area anymore."

"You called Angel?" Spike asked, shoulders stiffening. Buffy cringed.

"Can we please not do this?"

"So, what's it going to be? Tea at his place or a quick shag on the…" Buffy smacked the back of his head.

"I didn't even tell him I'm in L.A. I just told him that I heard from my dad, and he said there were some strange guys with weird faces in the neighborhood."

"Oh," Spike said quietly.

"Look at you," she teased, standing up temporarily just so she could maneuver herself into his lap. "So adorable when you're jealous."

"Not jealous, pet. Just…seething hatred for my grandsire."

"Oh, c'mon," Buffy urged, nuzzling his cheek with her nose. "You're not a teensy, weensy bit jealous?"

"Of him? Please!" he scoffed. "How often do I have to remind you that he's nothing but hair-product, forehead, and teeth?" Buffy rolled her eyes. "But I forgot. You like your men on the toothy side." He looked away.

"Ha! See? Jealous."

"Am not!" she insisted, his fingers digging into her hips as she wiggled around on his lap, the friction causing the bulge in his jeans to grow. "Or should I be?" Buffy's jaw dropped.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, come on, pet, he's the forbidden love. The bloody Romeo to your Juliet."

"Um, huh? First of all, Romeo and Juliet? They died for each other. Angel? Already dead? And I'm not suicidal."

"So you wouldn't die for me?"

"Well if your theory about our claim holds true, I'll _have _to die for you…if you die, that is." She kissed his lips, but she felt him sigh against her. "Come on. Don't be like that. I don't think about him like that anymore. Of course, when you get all mad like this, I wonder what it might be like to see you two wrestle it out…all oily and…"

"Alright, I get the picture," he smirked.

"You know I only swoon for bleach-blonde, extremely well-muscled men who are very well versed in the art of the female orgasm." She smiled, batting her eyes at him, brushing her lips over his. "You know, the ones who can make a girl come by biting her…by…touching her in all the right spots." She took his hand, guiding it inside of her bikini bottom, and he caressed her damp folds. A little growl escaped Spike's throat, and Buffy smiled, biting his lower lip.

"When you put it that way," he murmured, lying back on the bed with her straddling his hips. He couldn't help but feast his eyes on her toned body clad only in a black bikini. He could see her nipples hardening against the fabric, and he pulled himself up again, pulling down one side of the bikini top and taking a breast into his mouth. She moaned softly, her fingers curling into his hair while his tongue circled her nipple hungrily. "Alright, off with you." Spike growled a little as he pulled Buffy's bikini top off swiftly, tossing it over his shoulder. She giggled as he hoisted her up and then tossed her down onto the mattress, expertly sliding her bikini bottom down her long, slender legs.

He undressed faster than she'd ever seen him undress before, and she couldn't stop the giggle bubbled up when he got caught in his jeans. He stood up and hopped around for a few seconds before he got his foot unstuck. Finally, he was free, and he returned to her, his body pressing against hers, her heat warming him, his chill cooling her. A perfect match.

The way his hands moved over her body made her treble with need. A small pool continued to grow between her legs, and a familiar tingling throb began to torture her.

"Tell me what you want," he breathed, his eyes fierce but full of desire. He kissed her hard, but she gave back as good as she got and took his lower lip between her teeth. She bit down, and she moaned softly. When she let him go, her eyes were dark, the needful glisten making him harder.

"No foreplay," she growled, as his hand traveled between her legs, brushing over her soaking center.

"Tell me, kitten," he urged, making her shudder once again. She gripped his cock in her little hand and pushed him against her entrance.

"Fuck me," she hissed, letting him go and arching back as he plunged home. "Oh….fuck yeah!" Spike had to suppress a chuckle at her eagerness, and he closed his lips over hers.

"Careful luv," he whispered between kisses. "Full house tonight." Buffy grinned, and she flipped Spike over onto his back, placed her hands on his chest, and began to ride him fast and hard. But when she saw her bikini top hanging over a post on her bed, she raised an eyebrow. She grabbed the flimsy garment and immediately put it across Spike's mouth before secure a knot behind his head. He looked at her with a little bit of surprise, but she bent down to kiss his neck.

"Guess we'll have to be quiet then."

***

"Bloody Hell," he murmured as they lay side by side in the bed, both breathing hard and coming down from near-backbreaking orgasms. Buffy gently massaged a crick in her back, wondering exactly how far she'd arched back during that one. She tasted blood in her mouth from where she'd bit her lip.

Spike twirled her bikini bra with one finger and looked at her.

"You're the loudmouth," he finally noted. "Why'd you gag me?"

"'Cause it's more fun that way."

"For you," he smirked.

"Oh, I don't know about that. You seemed to enjoy it an awful lot." She crawled over him, folded her hands on his chest and rested her chin there. She let out a little sigh, and he reached up to stroke her hair.

"S'wrong?"

"I don't know," she said with a little shrug. "I guess it's just that when we go back to Sunnydale, we get on with our real lives. Vacations are nice, but as was proven tonight, evil doesn't take a holiday."

"That's all that's bothering you?" He searched her sparkling, green eyes. "Tell me, pet."

"It's stupid, really."

"What?"

"Well, it's been nice here, you know? You don't have to go off to your crypt or do whatever it is you do when we're not together. We go to sleep together, wake up together…it's been…nice."

"Isn't that what we were doing _before_ this little vacation?"

"Yeah, but…I mean, there was the crypt, and…and sometimes…" Spike narrowed his eyes and watched her grow more flustered.

"Are you telling me you want us to move in together?"

"What? How did you…maybe?" She shrugged her shoulders again and rolled off of him so she could sit up to face him. "I mean, you're practically there all the time anyway. And, big plus, everyone in the house already knows you're a vampire. We could…we already have the place vamp proofed, you know." Spike was stunned. He wondered if the last couple of months had been one big, fantastic dream. She'd said she loved him, she'd let him claim her, she'd introduced him to her dad. Now she was asking him to move in with her?

"You're sure about this, pet?"

"Well," she said thoughtfully, "I think so. I mean…we're practically married…you know, in a mystical way." She brought her hand up to her neck to prove her point. "This sounded better in my head, you know." He just stared at her, a silly smile pulling up at one corner of his mouth. "Spike? Say something. Anything tha—" And he kissed her, pulling her down on top of him. He tickled her sides until she began to laugh against his lips and had to pry herself away to get her breath.

"So," she gasped, a grin spread across her face. "That's a yes?" Incredulously, he stared up at her. Sitting up to face her, he leaned his forehead against hers.

"What do you think, luv?" And he kissed her again, pulling her back down against the mattress, this time not letting her slip away.

***

"Giles? What…what are you doing here? I thought you had work to do at the Council?" Willow wondered, stepping out of the way to let Giles into her room.

"Yes. Yes, that's precisely why I'm here. I need your help."

"Oh. Ok. What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to conjure a truth spell." He said this with more reluctance than anything. Willow squirmed.

"I don't…I don't think that's a good idea. Those kinds of spells and me? Not very mixy. Besides, why can't you do it?"

"Because in your time here, you've grown exceptionally stronger, Willow. I've spoken with your tutors, and they all believe you can do this. I believe that a powerful witch will see better results than a somewhat powerful Watcher. I'll observe you, of course. I just need this to be as accurate as possible."

"Oh," Willow said quietly. "Well, I, um, I could try. What do you need a truth spell for?"

"There's a girl…Dana…"

"The new Slayer. Go on."

"Right. Yes. Mr. Travers at the Council swears this drug he administered has brought her completely out of the state she was in when she arrived. She seems not to know anything about the murders she committed, but she's being taught about what it means to be a Slayer. They want to start training her."

"Oh," Willow said quietly. "You're going to train her?"

"I thought about it, but I honestly think it's time I go back to the states."

"Doesn't the Council have, you know, super-mojo psychics?"

"Yes, but they work for the council, and I'd rather have someone a bit…more trustworthy."

"Right. Ok. Well, let me get the things I need, and I can come with you. They'll let me in won't they?" She began to collect the things she needed for the spell, and Giles continued to talk.

"I don't see why not. I just need to know it's safe to leave her before we go back home."

"We?" Willow asked quietly, eyes widening in surprise. Giles removed his glasses, contemplating his decision, but he turned back to her with confidence.

"Yes. I think it's time you returned home. If all goes well, you, Tara, and I will be on a plane by the end of this week."

"Do you really think I'm ready, Giles?"

"Tara seems to think so."

"She…she does?"

"We spoke yesterday while you were with one of your tutors."

"Oh," Willow said, slightly concerned that Tara hadn't told her about the conversation. "I thought…I thought Mr. Travers wanted Buffy to train Dana. So I thought you would bring her here, and I'd have more time here to…"

"The more I think about it…I…my job is to train Buffy. Buffy's is to slay. She doesn't have time to go traipsing off to England to help train another Slayer. There are other perfectly good Watchers out there, and I've spoken with Mr. Travers. He's willing to accept that for now, but he's still pushing for Buffy's help. I told him that decision would be up to her."

"But you don't see her budging?"

"Not after I tell her that everything's fine…which is exactly what I hope to tell her once we do this spell."

"Right. Ok. I've got everything. Let's go."

***

"She's telling the truth. She doesn't remember anything past waking up here," Willow said with a confident nod as she and Giles stepped out into the hallway.

"You're sure?"

"I can do it again just to be safe, but the spell worked right. I did it exactly how I practiced with one of my tutors. Everything went right. She really doesn't know, Giles." He knew she was telling the truth. He knew the mechanics of a truth spell, and she'd done everything spot on. Still, Willow's powers tended to go a bit off in the past. That worried him some, but he felt confident in Willow's results for the moment.

"Well then," he said quietly, "I suppose that is good news."

"So, I guess she's gonna get a Watcher now?"

"I suppose so," Giles replied quietly. "I've requested that Mr. Travers let me pick the Watcher myself. I know who I trust and who I don't."

"Good," Willow said slowly. However, he could tell there was a question ready to burst forth.

"What is it?"

"Well, I was thinking…what if…what if you bring her back to Sunnydale? You could keep training Buffy, and you could train her. It's not like Buffy needs that much training these days, right?" Giles considered this for a moment but shook his head.

"She needs constant supervision, Willow. I know she doesn't _remember_ the murders, but…"

"But she also doesn't have any homicidal tendencies. You were in there when I asked her if she had any…you know, homicidal tendencies…" Willow raised her eyebrows. "I think she's pretty safe. But, I guess you're the Watcher. You should decide. But think of the plus side…you could keep an eye on her." Giles turned back to Dana's room. "Don't you trust yourself more than anybody else?"

***

A few days later, the cars were loaded up, and Dawn was practically beaming since Buffy had just given her permission to ride home with Jake, as long as they promised not to make any little detours on the way home.

It was just past sunset, and everyone was standing out in the driveway saying goodbye. Dawn had just said her goodbyes with her father, and now Buffy was the one being hugged. She patted her dad's back and closed her eyes, wishing for a moment that things were the way they used to be between them.

He finally let go and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Thanks for coming. I'm glad you…I'm glad you were here."

"Me too," Buffy replied quietly.

"If you and Dawn need anything, just call. And please, make good use of the money I gave you. I don't want you girls to worry about a thing."

"Ok. Thanks." They stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments.

"Buffy, I wanna see you again. Maybe I can come visit…I mean, your birthday is coming up."

"Yeah. Maybe. We can make room if you want to…" Hank nodded.

"Good. Alright. Well, you should be…you know…"

"Right. Bye, Dad." She gave him another half-hug and headed off toward the car where Spike was waiting. Hank stood out by the garage door, waiting until they left to go inside. And as they waited for Jake to pull out of the drive, Buffy and Spike looked at one another.

"You alright, luv?" Buffy turned her gaze back to her dad and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I am."

* * *

_Thanks again for your feedback. Please keep it coming!_


	30. Back to Basics

Chapter 30: Back to Basics

"Duck!" Buffy yelled at Spike before sending a stake flying through the air. He hit the ground in plenty of time to avoid the wrath of Mr. Pointy. The vampire behind him wasn't so lucky. The sharp piece of wood clattered to the grass with a muffled thump, and Spike took the weapon in his hands. He hoisted himself off the ground and tossed it back to Buffy, who lodged it into the chest of a now-exploding vampire.

"Tough tonight, weren't they?"

"Nothing we can't handle." She smiled when she saw the way hearing her say 'we' made his eyes sparkle. They started walking together, side by side, hand in hand. It was silent now, but Buffy knew better than to assume all was peace and quiet now.

They'd gotten home just before sunup, and the rest of the day had been spent sleeping and recovering from the road trip. It was nice to be home and in familiar territory now.

"Think your Dad's got over the shock of you being Slayer yet?"

"Yeah, the freak out's probably starting right about now," she admitted. "He's seen vampires for himself now. It's not like he can choose not to believe it. He can't say I'm crazy, right?"

"Come back here!" Buffy and Spike stopped at the sound of a male voice followed by a female's frantic yell. With a glance back at each other, they took off running toward the noise. They practically flew through the cemetery, jumping over headstones in their path. But when they saw a shower of dust explode just a few yards ahead, they stopped in their tracks to find Anya lying on the ground, panting heavily while Xander stood with a stake in his hand.

"You got him. You saved my life," Anya pointed out, as Xander helped her up. "I want you to know that I find that very sexy. We should go home now." Xander pulled an arm around his future bride, but she stiffened. "Not another one!" And with that, a vampire barreled into the two of them, separating them and throwing them to the ground. With that, both Buffy and Spike ran in to intervene, and within moments, that vamp was dust too.

Xander saw a hand outstretch to him, and it was only after he grabbed it that he realized that hand was attached to a bleach-blonde vampire. Spike hoisted him up while Buffy tended to Anya.

"What the _hell_ are you two doing out here?" Buffy asked, putting her stake in her coat pocket. Xander brushed himself off, and Anya opened her mouth to answer.

"We were patrolling."

"And the question would be 'why?'"

"When the Slayer decided to take a holiday, we figured somebody had to take over population control of the vampire world," Xander said a little bitterly, getting a nudge in the ribs from Anya. _Right. On with the making things better_. "How was your trip?" Buffy eyed him cautiously.

"You actually care?"

"Sure I do," Xander said quietly. "I mean, we are still friends, aren't we?" Buffy and Spike glanced at each other.

"Gee, I don't know," Buffy thought. "You didn't seem to keen on my relationship with Spike before my trip. In fact, you seemed pretty dead set on expressing your hatred of the situation every chance you got. What kind of friend does that?"

"I was just…making conversation."

"Well, you can do a lot better," Buffy replied, turning on her heel.

"Buffy," Anya called out, "please wait." Buffy turned again. "I know things haven't been easy between you and Xander lately, but…but he means well. He cares about you, and…" Buffy glanced at Anya and then at Xander.

"Xander," she began, "I don't expect you to automatically like Spike because I'm dating him. I just expect you to show him some common courtesy and show _us_ a little respect. This isn't going away Xander. This isn't some…fling that needs to be….flung."

"You're talking like you're married to the guy, Buff." Buffy looked at Spike, and Xander's face went white.

"You married him? Oh God. That's what your vacation was. You didn't go to L.A. You went to Vegas and married Spike!" Buffy rolled her eyes.

"First of all, no. Second of all, how could I have married Spike? He doesn't have any legal documents. Nobody would have married us." She realized that her arm was now linked with Spike's.

"You're being awfully quiet. No witty British remark that makes absolutely no sense?"

"Actually, just thinking about how bloody stupid you sound, getting your feathers all ruffled about the Slayer, when the bird you're supposed to marry is standing right beside you."

"I'm not getting anything ruffled," Xander defended. "Not anymore. Buffy's a big girl, and she made a choice. That choice happened to be a walking corpse with bad hair, but who am I to judge, right?"

"Right. You expect me to believe you changed your mind?" Buffy asked skeptically. Xander threw up his hands.

"You know what? I'm not doing this. I'm not gonna make nice just to…"

"Xander," Anya urged.

"I'm sorry, baby," he offered, "but this is wrong. Yeah, he's got a soul, and yeah, you've done some bad things too. But the thing is…the thing is, I didn't see you do those things. I saw Spike rip the throats out of innocent people. He tried to kill us who knows how many times. I can't just overlook that." Anya sighed, shaking her head.

"Xander," Buffy interrupted. "You've been one of my best friends for a long time now. I don't know how to fix things between us, but cutting Spike out of my life…that's not gonna happen. I love him, ok? If you can't accept that, then I don't know how we're ever gonna make things right. Call me when you've made your decision." Buffy tugged on Spike's arm, and off they went, leaving Xander and Anya alone in the graveyard.

He turned to his future wife, and he saw the tears in her eyes.

"You aren't over her, are you?"

"An…that's crazy talk."

"No. I don't think it is." She wiped a tear from her eyes and took off her engagement ring, placing it in his hand.

"I love you. I want to marry you. But, Buffy's right. You need to grow up. I can't marry you when clearly you still have feelings for her."

"An, I don't," he insisted. "How can I prove it to you?"

"Stop acting like such ajackass. She's dating Spike. Get over it! It's not like you have to date the guy." She took a deep breath. "Make things right with her before it's too late and she decides not to forgive you." She turned and walked off, leaving him alone with his thoughts and her ring.

***

"Uch, I'm _so_ sick of this," Buffy grumbled, peeling off her patrol clothes and standing in nothing but her bra and underwear in front of the bed. She put her hands on her hips and stared at Spike who was lounging on the bed. "Aren't friends supposed to be supportive? I mean, I thought he'd get over it. I really thought he would. He must enjoy being a jackass."

"Don't let the wanker get to you, luv," Spike assured her. "Or better yet, let him. I'd like a good reason to beat him to a bloody pulp." He got off the bed and started for the door. Her arm darted out, thwacking him in the chest to prevent him from getting by.

"There'll be no beating my friends to bloody pulps," she warned.

"What kind of a friend is he, Buffy? I mean, really. I see the way he looks at you. There's something there, you know? He's got his own girl, so why can't he leave mine the hell alone?"

"Possessive much? I mean, why don't you just pee on me and mark your territory?" Seeing the look in his eyes, she held a hand up. "Ok. That's enough with the putting ideas in your head."

"We have a claim, Buffy," Spike pointed out. "Can't help the possessive thing." Buffy sighed. He had a point.

"Well, what does that tell you? It tells you that we belong to each other. Right? And besides, never since I met Xander have I even remotely thought about him that way." She frowned. "Well, there was that one time, but I was under the influence of a love spell gone _way_ wrong." This didn't seem to satisfy Spike one bit. But he didn't have time to comment, because the phone rang. After one quick ring, Dawn's voice carried up from downstairs.

"It's Xander!" she called. "Says it's important!" Buffy braced herself, shot Spike a 'behave yourself' look, and picked up the receiver.

"What do you want, Xander?"

"Look," he said quietly. "Can we talk? You know…in private?"

"It's late, Xander."

"Please? Buffy, I just want to fix things between us. Can you meet me at the Magic Box in an hour?" Buffy looked at the clock and then at Spike.

"I guess so. Yeah. I'll be there."

"Thanks, Buff." With that, he hung up, and Buffy did the same.

"What'd the pillock want?"

"He wants to meet me."

"Alright, well, let's…"

"Alone, Spike."

"Oh. Well," he said quietly, "you should go then."

"Look," Buffy said quietly, pulling her arms around his neck. "I love you. You know that. And no matter how much of a jerk Xander is, he's…well, he's still my friend. We've been through a lot together, and I know he's just worried about me."

"Or wants to get into your pants." His hand brushed against her ass. Buffy swatted it away, and Spike looked hurt.

"Aw," she whispered against his lips, "I'll make it up to you when I get home. Promise."

"You better," he said with a little chuckle, as she opened her mouth against his, inviting him inside. But, soon, the moment was over, and she was pulling away to get dressed.

"The sooner Xander and I fix this, the sooner we can move on."

* * *

_Thanks for all of your feedback and support! This was just a short update. I'm still not feeling well, and I may have to go to the hospital. So, I'm not sure when I'll have another chapter posted. If I feel better later today, I'll write some more. Anyway, just leave me some feedback, because I'd love to hear what you think!_


	31. Mending Fences

Chapter 31: Mending Fences

"Thanks for coming, Buff," Xander said quietly, as Buffy entered the Magic Box. He was seated at the research table, hands folded in front of him. For some reason, she recalled the intervention the gang had pulled on her after they'd found out Angel had returned from Hell and she'd been keeping him hidden away.

This was quite similar, she supposed, because as it was back then, Xander was here to talk to her about her boyfriend, a vampire.

"I just want to get this over with." She sat down across from him. "What are we supposed to do? Chat it out? Or should I make an opening statement?"

"Buff, it's me," Xander pointed out.

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" she wondered. "Because, lately, you haven't been acting like the same guy I went to school with. I know he's there somewhere underneath the jerk that's been on my back since Spike and I started seeing each other." Xander looked away.

"Anya gave me her engagement ring back." Buffy said nothing, so he continued. "She thinks I still have a thing for you, and that's why I'm acting like this."

"Oh." What else could she really say?

"Buffy, I just want you to know that it's not true. I don't think about you like that anymore. I love Anya. She's…she's everything to me." He cleared his throat. "It's just that seeing you with Spike brings back all the memories of when he was working with Angel, and it brings back how I felt when Angel lost his soul, and we had to follow you around watching you grieve over him until you actually got the strength to kill him." Buffy flinched. "He lost his soul, Buffy, and he hunted us. There was no mercy. And Spike was working with him."

"Spike didn't have a soul then either."

"No. But even after Angel came back, when I looked at him, I couldn't _not_ see the killer he was. That's how it is with Spike. I know you see him differently, but it wasn't that long ago that you looked at him the same way I do. Buffy, you're dating a guy that tried to kill you for years. He hunted you, and he made plans."

"And he failed," Buffy retorted. "And then he fell in love with me."

"How can you know that?"

"Because, Spike's different."

"You keep saying that," he explained, exasperated. "You say that he's changed, and maybe he has. Maybe he has a soul. But when I look at him, I see the guy who locked me and Wil in the factory basement and threatened to kill us if she didn't get a spell right."

"Again, that was before the soul, Xander. He…he started helping us."

"Because he had a chip in his head. He was bored, and the only thing he could kill were demons. As long as he got to kill something, he was satisfied." Buffy looked away.

"Say that was the case at first. Then why did he go out of his way to get a soul? Remember Angel? He was so desperate not to have a trace of humanity in him that he killed Miss Calendar to stop her from finishing that soul restoration translation. Spike went through things that…a vampire with a hidden agenda wouldn't bother with. He came back, and he was still Spike. He loved me." Buffy's voice cracked, but she cleared her throat and went on. "He had the chip taken out, and he's been fine."

"What happens if he gets hungry or bored or…or if he gets sick of being the good vampire?"

"That won't happen. He has a soul now. Just like you. Just like me. He's got that little thing that tells him right from wrong."

"Anybody can have a soul, Buffy. People with souls have murdered. What's to say he won't?"

"Because he wanted it, Xander. He told himself that the only way he could ever be good for me would be to get his soul back. Nobody had faith in him. I did. I didn't think he needed the soul in the first place. But he got it. For me. Nobody's _ever _done anything like that for me before."

"Ok," Xander said with a nod. "Fair enough. But it still doesn't change the fact that he tried to kill me. Or Willow. Or you."

"That's the past, Xander. It really is. To you, he might be the guy that locked you in a basement, but to me, he's the guy that went through Glory's torture and didn't give up Dawn to her. He's the guy that tried to keep her safe. He's the guy that looked after her while I was in the ground. The guy that worked side by side with all of you that summer." It was Xander's turn to flinch now. "Do you really hate him after all of that?"

"I don't hate him, Buff," Xander said quietly. "I just don't trust him." Buffy sighed. That was better than she was expecting, but it still wasn't good enough. "It's not easy to trust somebody who used to eat people."

"Yet it's so easy to trust Anya, who used to eviscerate men because they made their girlfriends cry?" Buffy retorted. "You can't use that 'Spike used to kill people' thing on me, because your girlfriend used to do the same…and then some. If you remember right, she caused a few problems herself when she first came to Sunnydale."

"That's…"

"Different? How?"

"It just is."

"Come on, Xander! This is probably the dumbest conversation I've ever had. You don't like Spike, therefore you don't want me to be with him. Can't you just…get over it?" Xander was quiet for a few minutes. "If you wanna start the 'your boyfriend's worse than my girlfriend' thing, then we can just lay it all out right here. In the end, Anya's list of little nasties is gonna come out much longer than Spike's."

"You know," he finally said after a couple of minutes, "you're starting to talk like him." Buffy shrugged, and he smiled a little. "I'm sorry, Buff. I know I've been an idiot, but I don't trust the guy, and I'm not sure if I ever can."

"Alright," Buffy said with a nod. "Can we at least agree that you can never play the 'Spike's killed so many' card ever again? 'Cause if you ever say that again, I'm just going to bring up Anya." Xander sighed and winced.

"Alright. Deal." He held his hand out, and Buffy shook it.

"This is gonna be Hell for you, isn't it?"

"And you're gonna enjoy every minute, aren't you?"

"You kinda deserve it, Xand." She stood up and began to pace. "Guess there's really only one thing that's gonna get you to talk to Spike. Sort out your issues with him." Now Xander was worried.

"What?"

"Just…stop by my house tomorrow. Make sure you eat a big meal first." Xander raised his eyebrows.

"Wha…"

"Seven o'clock. Don't be late." She turned to leave, but Xander reached out, taking her arm.

"Buff," he said quietly. "Are we gonna be ok?" She turned back to him and cocked her head to the side.

"I hope so. But…if you and Spike can't work things out…I'm not sure how."

***

"Don't see the point in this, luv," Spike muttered, hitting the punching bag a couple of times. "The boy doesn't exactly have a soft spot in his heart for ol' Spike, now does he?"

"He realizes that he's an idiot. That's a step forward, right? I mean, his girlfriend did way worse than you ever did, right?"

"She had several hundred years on me, pet, and she ripped the innards right out of men as her _job_. Should I go on?"

"Uh, no. That's ok," Buffy said with a frown. It was hard to believe that her conscience was now weighing what was worse: killing for food or killing as a calling. Buffy frowned. At least her own calling had her killing evil things.

"Not excusing the things I did, but if he wants to point fingers at whose got the longest list of dirty deeds, then I think Anya's gonna win the lot. Heard she once took out an entire dinner party." Buffy shivered. Spike hit the bag again. "Done a lot of things I'm not proud of. But that's the past."

"And I want Xander to see that. He sees it for Anya…"

"But he's not shagging me, is he?"

"Now there's a picture," Buffy teased. Spike grimaced.

"There's a warm cup of blood on the counter. I figured he's probably gonna push your buttons, so you'll at least want a full stomach."

"I'm not gonna eat him, luv."

"I know. But I also know you have a little more patience with me than with Xander. Humor me, baby."

"Ooh, pet names," he said with a smirk, pulling his arms around her.

"Too corny?" she wondered, as his lips closed over hers. He moaned against her lips and reluctantly pulled away.

"Not when you say it like that. Now if you start in with 'pookie' or 'blondiebear' I might bite you."

"Don't tempt me," she grinned. "Now. Go eat." She smacked his but as he started off toward the steps.

"Sure you can't just lock yourself in the basement with me? It'd be a lot more fun."

"Nope. You and Xander. One on one. As long as it takes."

***

"_Shut up!"_

"_Please! Stop it!"_

"_Shut up, or I'll give you something to cry about, you little bitch!"_

"_No! No!" She blacked out, but she could hear the voices swirling around her. She had to get out. Had to get past them. But how? _

***

Dana woke with a start, eyes adjusting to the dim light on the plane.

"Are you ok?" came a soft voice from nearby. She turned her head to see a somewhat familiar face. It was the witch. Willow. "Do you remember me?"

"You're Willow," she said gently.

"That's right," Willow said with a nod. "You were dreaming, I think. What were you dreaming about?"

"I…I think I was remembering something. From before I was with Mr. Travers." Willow felt a knot form in her stomach. What if Dana remembered the murders? What if those memories triggered her to murder again?

"I'll get Giles."

"No. Please. Don't bother him. It wasn't…"

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Dana looked at Willow suspiciously, but her gaze softened after a few moments.

"You're the first person who's asked me that," she admitted. "I don't know who I am, Willow. Am I a bad person? Do you know who I am?"

"Do you…do you feel bad?"

"I don't know," she said with a shake of her head. "Maybe…maybe it was…Mr. Giles calls them Slayer dreams. Maybe that's what I was having." Willow furrowed her brows.

"Tell me about it. Maybe…maybe I can help."

"No. It was…I don't know. I was trying to get away. They were holding me down. I couldn't…I couldn't breathe. And it went black. That's all I remember."

"Who was?"

"There was a man. More than one, I think. I just…I can't remember." She rubbed her temples.

"It's ok," Willow said quietly. "Hold on." Willow maneuvered herself over a sleeping Tara, who was settled in next to her. She made her way over to the empty seat next to Giles. He was fast asleep as well. She nudged his shoulder, and he woke with a start.

"Oh. What…what is it?"

"It's Dana. She had a dream. Giles, I think she's starting to remember…"

"Remember what, exactly?"

"I'm not sure, but I think maybe she might be remembering the night she killed those people," Willow whispered low enough that Dana couldn't hear.

"You're sure?"

"She was dreaming about these men holding her down, but she can't remember what happened. She said it was like a memory. Maybe she's remembering what happened that night. Giles…I don't think it was her fault. I think she killed them to save herself."

Several long moments passed. Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them. When he replaced them on his face, he turned his attention back to Willow.

"It's too early to assume anything from a few dreams. We'll monitor her closely when we get back to Sunnydale. She opened up to you, yes?"

"Yeah. I guess so."

"Good. Maybe you can befriend her, get her to open up some more. If she feels that she's remembered something else, write it down, and we'll keep track of everything."

"Right," Willow said carefully. "You…you don't think she's dangerous, do you?"

"At the moment, no, but I wouldn't let my guard down completely."

"Yeah," Willow said quietly. "Good thinking." Several more moments passed. "Where's she gonna stay? It's kind of a full house at our place. And she might feel weird staying with you."

"The Council's already arranged for her to have an apartment of her own. Mostly, I think it's so they can keep track of her. I may be her Watcher now, but they're not going to let their guinea pig out of their sight completely."

***

"Wow. Seven on the dot," Buffy said with raised eyebrows, as Xander walked in. Buffy was surprised to see Anya right behind him. She wasn't wearing her engagement ring, so apparently she hadn't asked for it back yet.

"I followed him to make sure he actually came."

"Good," Buffy said with a nod. "We'll get started then."

"What do you want me to do? Where's Spike?" Xander wondered.

"He's in the basement. He's ready to talk to you."

"He is?"

"Yep. Time for you two to have a heart-to-unseating heart. And there's a punching bag down there in case somebody gets pissed off. No use roughing each other up, because that's not gonna win any points with me, and I'm guessing not with Anya either." Xander glanced at Anya, and she shook her head.

"Normally I find you manly and I want to have sex with you when you punch vampires in the face, but you're not here for that. You're here to get over your issues." She looked at Buffy. "Do we get to watch?"

"No. I'm locking them in there."

"You're _locking_ me in the basement with a chip-less vampire?" Xander asked incredulously.

"A chipless, soul-filled vampire," Buffy corrected him. "Go on. I'll let you out when you're good and ready."

"You're taking me hostage?"

"Think of it more as an intervention…I'm preventing you from saying stupid things about Spike to me. You can say them to Spike, and you can talk it out."

Xander wondered if there was any way to actually talk out problems with a vampire.

"You should go," Anya said with a nod. "I'll wait with Buffy." Buffy smiled uncomfortably at Anya, and Xander ran his fingers through his hair.

"Did you tell him no biting? You did, didn't you?"

"He wouldn't bite you, Xander. He might want to if you piss him off, but he won't. Just go. Talk. Try to see what I see. He's not the same man he was back then. He's changed. He's good. Just…go." Xander frowned, but he headed into the kitchen, the ladies lagging along behind.

"What's going on?" Dawn asked, coming down the stairs to find her sister, Anya, and Xander heading into the kitchen.

"Buffy is going to lock Spike in the basement with Xander. They're going to talk out their differences, and maybe after Xander's gotten over his annoying hatred of Spike, I'll agree to marry him again."

Dawn responded with a resounding snort and a laugh.

"Yeah. I think I'm gonna grab my camera."

"No camera. They're doing this now. And they're not coming out until Xander sees that Spike's not the evil monster he thinks he is." Buffy opened the basement door, and Xander took a step down the stairs.

"If I'm dead at the end of this, I'm never talking to you again." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Go on." She cleared her throat. "He's ready, Spike. You boys have fun now." And she shut the door behind Xander, locking it with a firm click.

A beat. And then Anya headed around the kitchen counter, "I'll get the popcorn."

"I'll get the glass to press against the door so I can listen," Dawn offered. Buffy eyed her. "What? I saw it on TV!"

"Ok. Get two."

"No! Three! I wanna hear this too." Anya announced with a nod, tucking the popcorn bag into the microwave.

***

"You've got to be kidding me," Spike grumbled, smacking the punching bag hard with his fist. "What were you smoking? Yeah, I knocked you unconscious. I _might_ have threatened to eat the redhead, but I didn't, did I? I just wanted a love spell for Dru…"

"Come on, man. How do you expect me to trust a vampire that spent decades following that nutcase around like a puppy dog? You realize she wasn't playing with a full deck, don't you?"

"We vampires don't much care about the line between sanity and insanity. You're right. She was a few eggs short of a dozen, but she…she made me who I was."

"A psycho killer with bad teeth?"

"I'll give you the psycho killer part, but my teeth were quite clean. Flossed after every meal." Xander rolled his eyes.

"How do you expect me to trust that you won't hurt Buffy? You spent so many years trying to kill her. Yeah, you have a soul, but I'm not entirely convinced that this isn't some elaborate scheme to render her defenseless so you can snap her neck in the middle of the night." Spike's fists clenched at his sides.

"I'd never hurt her, you berk," he spat. "She's the only reason I stayed in Sunnyhell. I could've left when the Initiative put that sodding piece of plastic in my head. I could've been miserable elsewhere. I wanted to stay."

"You wanted to piss the rest of us off, you mean."

"Well, yeah. You've got me there. But I wanted to be close to her. Didn't know why then. Wasn't 'til later that I fell for her, you know."

"I don't know. I don't know how a vampire could be capable of love."

"You didn't question it when Angel…"

"Oh, I questioned it. I'm still not convinced about it, really. I haven't forgotten what he did to Jenny Calendar. But I haven't forgotten what you did to Willow either. You tried to bite her after you got the chip."

"But I didn't."

"That's not the point. You would've if you hadn't had the chip." Spike sighed heavily looking up toward the basement door. This could go on forever.

"Look, we could be down here for days. Why don't we do it this way. You tell me the thing you hate most about me, and I'll do the same." Xander was silent. "Come on. What's the one thing that gets your blood boiling. The one thing that makes you want to drive a stake through my undead heart?" Spike came toward him, eyes dark. Xander swallowed hard.

"You're not good enough for her." Spike's eyes widened.

"Come on. You can do better than that."

"No. That's it. You're an idiot, Spike. You don't think. You're selfish, and you're going to get her killed one day."

"I'd never do anything to hurt her."

"Maybe not," Xander said with a shrug, "but it doesn't mean it won't happen. You don't deserve her."

"I'm inclined to agree with you there, Harris," Spike said with a nod. "I don't know why she loves me, but she does. And you're right. I'm selfish. I won't let her go. I could be noble and leave, because it's what's best, but I'm not that strong. I love her, and she wants me here, so I'm here." He came closer to Xander. "You think I asked for this? You think I wanted to fall in love with her? Would've been a hell of a lot easier if I hadn't. But I did, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. You can believe me or not, but it's the honest truth."

"You sound like you're telling the truth."

"But I'm a vampire, so how can you trust me?"

"That about sums it up."

"You don't have to trust me. But what I say is the truth. I love that girl, and I'd die for her." He put his hand to his own chest. "It's not easy being love's bitch, but I guess I fit the qualifications." He eyed Xander. "Do you ever look at Anya—really look at her, deep in her soul—and realize that nothing else matters but what the two of you have together?" Xander was silent, but he nodded. "That's how I feel when I look at her, Harris. You ever tell her that I got all soft like this, and I might just bite you."

"You realize they're probably listening at the door," Xander pointed out. Spike glanced up toward the door. He could see the shadows of three pair of feet.

"Bloody hell," he muttered. But, he shrugged it off.

"Look," Xander said with a nod, "I do love Anya. The whole reason I agreed to this was for her. I love her too much to let _you _be the reason my life is ruined. And I love Buffy…" After a glare from Spike, he quickly finished, "as a friend. Honest. I haven't felt like that about her in a long time. She's just…just a friend."

"Like you'd ever have a chance," Spike muttered, lighting up a cigarette.

"I'm not saying we're gonna be best buds or anything. But I want Buffy back in my life, and if that means you have to come along, then I'll deal. I guess it's good. That way I can see for myself if you've really changed."

"Clean out your ears, you ponce! If I hadn't changed, you'd have been dead twenty minutes ago!"

"Spike!" came a cry from upstairs. It was Dawn. Xander and Spike both shared a look before sprinting up the stairs. The door unlocked, and the two came rushing out. Buffy was sprawled out on the kitchen floor, still but breathing.

"What happened?" Spike aside, rushing to her side and taking her hand in his. "Buffy? Wake up…" He gently pat her cheek and looked back up at the girls. "What happened?!"

"I don't know. She said she felt funny and went to get a drink of water, but she collapsed," Dawn stammered.

"Come on, luv," he whispered, lifting her up off the floor and cradling her against his chest. He carried her into the living room and placed her down on the couch while the rest looked on.

She started to move around a bit, and he pat her cheek again.

"Buffy. Luv, come on."

"Mmm…Spike?" Her eyelids fluttered open. "What happened?"

"You took a bit of a tumble, pet."

"Oh," she muttered, rubbing the sore spot where she'd hit her head. "That was weird."

"Can I get you something?"

"Just some water, thanks."

"I'll get it," Xander offered, rushing off to help. Buffy's hand moved to her neck, where the claim marks had almost faded.

"This…it burns a little," she whispered.

"What?" Dawn asked. Spike ignored her.

"Let me see." Buffy lifted her hand, and he examined the spots.

"It looks normal."

"You bit her?" Anya asked.

"What? Buffy?" Dawn wondered, eyes wide. Buffy slowly sat up, putting one hand to her forehead and rubbing her neck with the other.

"It's gone. The burning," Buffy finally whispered when Xander came back with a glass of water.

"Here, Buff."

"Thanks," Buffy muttered. She took it and drank every last drop. When she placed the glass down on the coffee table, she looked up at Xander. "Can you call Giles? I think something might have happened."

"Sure. I can try," Xander nodded, dialing Giles' number on his cell phone. "He's not answering." Buffy squeezed her eyes shut tight, and her head started to pound.

"Spike…I don't feel right. I…" She leaned against him, resting her forehead against his shoulder, as he rocked her back and forth.

"It's alright, luv. We'll get this figured out." He looked up at Anya, Dawn, and Xander. "I need books."

"What kind of books?" Dawn asked slowly.

"Anything having to do with vampire claims."

"Claims?!" Xander asked abruptly. "What…you…you claimed her?"

"I claimed him too," Buffy pointed out, lifting her tired head. "Don't be mad at him. It was a…a mutual thing."

"Come on," Anya urged. "We should hurry. She doesn't look very good." Xander hesitated, but seeing the worried look on Spike's face as he held Buffy told him that she would be safe there. In the back of his head, however, he knew that if Spike were to try anything, she could still kick his ass, even in her weakened state.

"Yeah. We better hurry." He grabbed his coat, and he, Anya, and Dawn headed off toward the Magic Box, leaving a very concerned Spike with a very pale, very confused Slayer.

* * *

**Thanks for your support, once again! I felt a little better this morning and finished this chapter. Hopefully I won't have to go to the hospital now, but I don't wanna speak too soon! Anyway, let me know what you think! Thanks!**


	32. About that Claim

Chapter 32: About that Claim…

"How're you feeling now?" he asked, rubbing her shoulders, as she sat between his legs on the floor.

"It's funny. I feel fine now. Like nothing happened. It was kind of like a wave hit me, and I went under. But then it was gone. I don't…"

"They'll be back soon with the books."

"You haven't heard of anything like this after a claim?"

"I've heard a lot of tales, pet. Some tall, others pretty spot on, but it's hard to separate fact from fiction when you don't see claims very often."

"We had to live on the wild side, didn't we?" She turned in his arms, seeing the worry in his eyes. "I'm not saying I regret it. So don't think that. I'll just feel better when we know what's going on. If only Giles were…"

The front door swung open, and in walked Giles with Willow and Tara. Buffy's eyes widened.

"Speak of the Watcher," Spike pointed out. He and Buffy stood together and faced the three standing in the foyer.

"What…I didn't…you guys are back?" Buffy asked with surprise. "I didn't know that…wow. Hey, Wil…"

"Hey," Willow said awkwardly, but she smiled and let a breath out when Buffy rushed over to hug her. Buffy then proceeded to hug Tara and Giles.

"I'm glad you guys are back."

"What's he doing here?" Giles asked uncertainly, staring at Spike, who stood a few paces behind Buffy. Buffy turned to Spike and sighed.

"Better tell him, pet. He's probably our best chance of figuring this all out."

"Right. Um…Giles? We have…a lot to tell you. You might wanna sit down."

"Um, I think I know most of this. The rest, you can fill me in on later, ok, Buff? I have something I have to do. Um, Tara? You want to, uh, do it…with me?"

"If you're going to shag, you don't have to sneak around like a couple of teenagers," Spike said with a shrug.

"It's not that. Giles…you said we should…"

"Right. Go on. You remember the way?"

"Yeah. C'mon, Tara. Let's go. Buff, we'll see you in the morning. Bye, Spike." Tara waved sheepishly, piling the rest of her luggage by the staircase before rushing out the door with Willow.

"Where…?" Buffy started.

"That's no matter right now. What is it you have to tell me?"

***

It was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Buffy and Spike sat next to one another on the couch, looking up at Giles who paced before them and cleaned his glasses like a parent who'd just found out his daughter was carrying on a sexual relationship with an older man. Well, it wasn't that far from the truth.

"So let me get this straight," he said, replacing his glasses and rubbing his temples. "Spike went to Africa and got his soul back. He returned here, where the both of you resumed…dating…and…there was a claim."

"That's pretty much it," Buffy said with a nod. "But you left out the trip to L.A., which is where it happened." She frowned. "I guess that's not very important, huh?"

"And now…you're experiencing strange side effects?"

"Well, not at the moment. It just happened before you got here. It's over now, whatever it was. I feel fine."

"So, you two…you…you know a claim is irreversible, don't you?" Giles wondered with astonishment.

"Yeah, that's kinda the point," Buffy said with a nod.

"Do you…have any idea how irresponsible it was to do something like that without knowing the consequences? These…these attacks that you're having, Buffy, might be permanent. Is that really something you want to live with for the rest of your life? There could be any number of consequences to suffer because of this."

"Hold on, Giles," Buffy defended. "This is the first time I've felt anything other than the normal, ok? If something was seriously wrong, don't you think I would've noticed before now?"

"How long ago was the…uh, the claim…performed?" Buffy glanced at Spike.

"Few days before Christmas, right? The night we got to L.A. Just over a week ago," Buffy suggested. Giles furrowed his brows.

"Yes. You're right. You would have experienced something much sooner. At least in theory."

"What is it with you guys and the 'in theory' talk?"

"You did tell her that claims aren't as common today as they used to be?" Giles asked, glancing at Spike.

"I did. It wasn't exactly a planned thing. It happened in the spur of the moment, Jeeves," Spike pointed out, getting a glance from Buffy. "But we talked about it after, and there are no regrets."

"Maybe not on your parts, but this is…this…"

"Guess you're gonna be stuck with me a lot longer than you wanted, eh?" Spike wondered.

"Wonderful," Giles muttered.

"Giles, I know you don't like Spike very much, but you know he helped you guys out while I was gone. Even Xander's starting to come around."

"Xander? Really?"

"Well, I locked him and Spike together in the basement."

"Felt like we bonded down there," Spike replied half-heartedly with a slight roll of his eyes.

"It'll take some time, but I need you guys to accept it, because Spike's here with me, and that's not gonna change…unless the theory about one of us dying if the other dies pans out."

"There you go, Watcher," Spike said, patting the older man on the back. "All you have to do is wait until the Slayer bites the dust, and then you'll be rid of me." Giles gritted his teeth.

"Sweetie, I think this is why they're not so up on the Spike love," Buffy said matter-of-factly.

"Can't help it. They bring out the worst in me, pet."

"I thought I used to do that."

"You bring out the animal in me, that's for sure," he murmured against her lips. She smiled, pulling her arms around his neck, and Giles was brought back to a time when they acted quite similar, though that was only under the influence of a spell.

"Alright. I'm going home," he muttered. "Buffy, do get some rest, and I'll call you if I find anything."

"Ok. Thanks, Giles." Buffy separated herself from Spike and escorted her Watcher to the door. "Please, just try to understand. I love Spike. It's not a spell. It's nothing like that. I just…love him, ok? Try to accept that."

"Yes, well, seeing as the two of you are bonded through at least your lifetime, I don't see I have any choice in the matter, now do I?" Buffy couldn't help but smile, and she pulled her arms around him. He hugged her a bit stiffly, but he patted her back.

"I'm glad you're back, Giles. See you tomorrow."

"Yes. Well, goodnight, Buffy." Giles made his awkward exit, and Buffy shut the door. As soon as Buffy turned around from closing the door, Spike was there with her, pressing her back against the solid oak.

"Feeling alright now, pet?"

"I…Spike!" she laughed, as his lips trailed down her neck. She pushed him away. "Oh my God! Is that all you ever think about?"

"It's all _you _ever think about," he teased, wiggling his eyebrows at her. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"They'll be home soon."

"A quickie then. No foreplay?" Buffy sighed, but she couldn't deny the twinkle in her eyes.

"C'mon." She took his hand and dragged him up the stairs.

***

The next morning, Buffy, Xander, and Giles were seated at the research table, while Anya stood behind the counter. Buffy couldn't help but notice that Anya was wearing her engagement ring again. Guess she wasn't that hard to please after all.

"Where did Wil and Tara go last night?" Buffy wondered, looking at the door. Giles cleared his throat.

"About that," he said quietly, "I suppose I've been keeping something from you as well."

"Great. What is it? Let me guess. It's evil."

"Not…necessarily."

"Oh. OK, what is it?"

"Remember me telling you about Dana?"

"How could I forget? The girl who was in prison for murder. The one that became a Slayer after I died last time. Kinda hard to forget." She cleared her throat. "Does the Council need my help? Because I thought about it, and I think I was too quick to say no. I mean, if she didn't remember doing those things…I guess I could try to give her a chance…"

"Buffy. That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. Mr. Travers had a drug he administered to her, and…to all appearances, she seems to be a completely rational human being. Though she may be starting to recall the reasons she was put in prison."

"You mean the brutal murders?"

"I'm not sure. Buffy, when she was arrested for those murders, she was…there was no way to get anything out of her. According to her charts, this is the most lucid she's ever been."

"Are we getting somewhere, Giles?"

"Yes. She's here. In Sunnydale."

"She's…huh?"

"Another Slayer on the prowl?" Xander asked.

"A Slayer who was imprisoned for murder. Is she even allowed to be here? I mean, prison? Hello?"

"The Council took over, and she's here under my…watchful eye." Buffy's eyes widened.

"You're her Watcher, too? What's she doing here, Giles?"

"She seems completely cured and ready to train."

"Seems? Giles. What if she's…"

"What happened to giving her a second chance?"

"I know, but…"

"He's got a point, Buff. We told you we'd give Spike a chance," Xander pointed out.

"Whoa. That's so not even the same thing."

"Buffy, I understand your apprehension. I have the same worries. That's why I'd prefer her to be here where I can keep an eye on her. If it turns out that she's truly not safe to have out on the streets, we'll take care of it."

"I guess," Buffy said quietly. "I just don't want another little fiasco like we had with Faith."

"We'll all do our part to keep an eye on her, right?"

"Right," Xander offered. The door opened, and Tara came in, a worried look in her eyes.

"Giles? Come quick. It's Dana. Something's…just hurry."

***

The group piled into the small living room of the apartment the Council had acquired for the new Slayer. Dana was sitting on the couch, arms wrapped around her knees. She was rocking.

"Dana? What is it?"

"She was remembering something again…I think," Willow whispered. "She won't talk to me."

"Dana?" Giles asked again, placing his hands on her arms. "It's Mr. Giles. Can you hear me?"

"Needles. I remembered needles," she whispered. "And darkness." Buffy and Willow exchanged bewildered glances.

"It's alright now," Giles assured her. "You're safe. There are no needles." Dana shook her head a couple of times.

"Was she asleep when she remembered?"

"No," Willow said, shaking her head. "I was just putting some stuff into this bag. And she started mumbling something about somebody taking a needle out of a case. Out of a bag like this."

"Do you remember anything else, Dana?" Giles wondered.

"No. I'm sorry. I…" Tears flooded her eyes. "I did something bad, didn't I?" Giles looked at Buffy for interference. They couldn't outright tell her the things she'd done. They had to be careful with her. She obviously wasn't strong enough yet.

"Dana," Buffy said, clearing her throat and moving into the position Giles was in. He scooted over so she could get in front of Dana. "My name's Buffy."

"The other Slayer."

"Yeah. Listen. If there's any more of the dream that you can remember…"

"I can't. I'm sorry. I'll try harder," she said with a frantic nod. "I just can't go back to that place."

"It's ok," Buffy assured her. "Giles is the best Watcher around. If there's any explanation for what's going on with you, he'll find it. Ok?" Dana nodded. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, and after a moment, her eyes snapped open.

"You're human." Buffy looked around, startled.

"Yeah. I'm…a Slayer. What's…"

"You have the blood of a demon inside of you." Buffy stood up quickly, and Giles did the same. Dana looked up at her with wide eyes. "I can sense it. I can…" Buffy's neck began to burn again. She placed her hand there.

"Uh…Giles…" She grew faint and fell backwards against Xander.

"Whoa, Buff. Come on. Sit down." Buffy sat down on the couch next to Dana, and immediately the attention turned to her.

"Did she just say Buffy's a demon?" Anya asked, intrigued.

"No," Tara said with a shake of her head. "She said Buffy has demon _blood_ inside of her." They all looked at Giles who was already thumbing through one of the books Willow had borrowed from the Magic Box last night.

"Ah, right here," he said quickly. "Claims…claims…yes. Here. It says that the vampire-human claim transfers blood to both parties…I already knew that. Yes…yes. Ah…here. The blood of the demon, however small in amount, may pulse at the claim site."

"That's it?" Buffy asked as the stinging subsided. "Well I could've come to _that _conclusion. It's just Spike's blood."

"Buffy has a little Spike blood inside of her," Xander said thoughtfully.

"And Spike has Buffy blood," Willow pointed out.

"Creepy," Xander shuddered.

"The book says it's only until your body adjusts. The burning is your body's way of rejecting the blood, and it's seeking a way out. Which would be the site of the claim." Giles examined the two pink dots on Buffy's neck. "The burning attacks should go away with time."

"Ok. So what about the passing out and the…"

"That, I'm not sure of."

"Research mode. Got it," Xander offered.

"Yes, we all should get back. Though I think someone should stay with Dana."

"I'll do it," Buffy offered. "Just for a while. I wanna get home before Dawnie gets out of school."

"I have some errands to run," Tara spoke up. "I can come back when I'm done."

"Great. Thanks, Tara." Everyone filed out of the apartment, and Buffy sat down on the couch awkwardly with Dana. The funny thing was that this girl didn't look like a killer. She looked like any normal…Slayer. She was beautiful with dark hair and deep, mysterious eyes. However, right now, the way she was looking at Buffy made her a tad uncomfortable. "What?"

"You let a vampire claim you?"

"Well…it's more complicated than that…"

"But Slayers are supposed to fight vampires. Kill them."

"Not my vampire," Buffy replied with a shake of her head.

"What makes him different than others?"

"You want a list?" Buffy asked with a slight smile as she thought about him. "First of all, he has a soul. When a person dies, their soul goes to whichever heaven or hell dimension it was destined to go. So when they rise from the dead, the soul's already on a one way trip with no return flight."

"Oh," Dana said quietly. "So he's like a human."

"Except he has no pulse, can't go out in the daytime, can't fix his hair in the mirror, and he drinks blood. Other than that? Yeah, pretty much." Dana looked away, thoughtfully.

"It's all so new," Dana admitted. "I started having the dreams about vampires and demons, and I thought I really was insane. Maybe…maybe I really was. Maybe that's why I was locked up the way I was." Buffy felt a shiver run up her spine, memories from her own past coming back to haunt her. "Did I say something wrong? I didn't mean to…"

"No, it's ok, Dana. It's nothing. Why don't you tell me about yourself. What you can remember, anyway." Dana smiled gratefully at her fellow Slayer, and Buffy sat in silence, half-listening to the girl, her mind wandering to a place in time she hadn't thought about in years.

***

"What's wrong, pet?" Spike asked, as Buffy came through the front door that afternoon with a paper sack in her hands.

"I met the new Slayer today."

"What? She's here? In Sunnydale?"

"In the flesh," Buffy remarked, heading into the kitchen. She put the sack down on the counter and pulled out a few containers of pig's blood. Spike went over and put them away in the fridge.

"So what's she like? She off her rocker like they said?"

"No," Buffy said quietly. "She seems normal, but I think she's starting to remember things about her past. And who knows if that's a good thing or not? I mean, on the one hand, she might be able to face what happened, or she might freak out and start going after people."

"What do you think?" Buffy shrugged.

"She's not cold. She's not angry. She's afraid, but she seems nice enough. She's just worried that she's crazy. The Slayer dreams aren't helping matters any." She frowned and headed back into the living room.

"What's bothering you? Is it her being here?"

"Not exactly," Buffy said quietly. "It's…well, it's something she said. It just took me back to when I was first called. Well, before I knew I was called, I guess." She sat down on the couch, and Spike sat down in a seat across from her. "I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night. My mom and dad thought it was stress from school, but the dreams kept coming. And then I found out who I was, and the big mistake was trying to talk to my parents about it. They put me in the hospital." The look on Spike's face was nothing short of surprise. "They thought the stress of school and my bad grades was getting to me and that I was acting out. I don't really remember how long I was there, but it was awful, Spike. I had to…to pretend to be somebody I wasn't so that I could get out. My parents' divorce was finalized right before I got out, and it wasn't long before me and Mom came to Sunnydale."

"I never knew."

"You're the first person I've ever told," Buffy admitted. "Dawn doesn't even know. They told her they sent me to camp." Buffy laughed dryly and rolled her eyes. "Worst camp ever."

"I'm sorry you went through that, pet. Must've been hard."

"Yeah. When I came to Sunnydale, I told myself I was done with Slaying. But, as you know, that's not the way the story went."

"Not even close," Spike replied quietly. "Why'd you tell me?"

"I dunno," she admitted with a shrug. "I guess I just let myself think about it too much, and I had to tell someone." It warmed his unbeating heart to hear her say such a thing. She leaned her head on his shoulder and laced her fingers through his. "I do have good news, though."

"What's that?"

"Giles found out that the burning at the claim site is your demon blood trying to get out of me."

"That's…_good_ news?"

"Well, yeah. He said it'd go away on its own. He said you have some of my blood in you too."

"Wonder why it doesn't burn?"

"Maybe 'cause I'm not a vampire," she teased, lightening the mood.

"So…that's the reason for the headaches and the passing out?" He saw Buffy tense a little.

"No," she said quietly. "He's still looking into that."

"So there could still be something wrong?" Spike asked standing up. "Fucking hell." He paced for a few moments. "Maybe this wasn't a good idea."

"Shut up, Spike. Whatever it is, we'll fix it. No regrets, remember?" she asked, taking his hand and yanking him back down onto the couch.

"No regrets," he said slowly. "But the Watcher better find out what's going on soon. Can't stand this happening to you 'cause of me."

"Don't worry," she assured him, kissing him softly. "Come on. We have some time before Dawn gets home…"

"You're feeling up to it?"

"Mmmhmm," she murmured, kissing his neck. Her hand moved to cup the bulge in his jeans. "And so are you."

"Bloody hell," he murmured, eliciting a giggle from her. With that, he stood up, threw her over his shoulder, and rushed her up the stairs to ravage her for the next hour.


	33. Something Curious

Chapter 33: Something Curious

It had been a couple of weeks since Giles, Willow, Tara had arrived back in Sunnydale with Dana. Everyone had been keeping an eye on the young woman, who seemed to be doing well. She was excelling in her training, but she showed no aggression outside of the training room. Buffy had even taken her out on patrol on a couple of nights, and though the girl had gotten a little roughed up, she'd never freaked out or anything that anybody had expected she would do. However, her dreams continued to torture her, bringing back memories that seemed to pain her, emotionally and physically. Sometimes she would talk about those flashes. Other times she would opt to stay silent. But for the moment, she didn't seem to pose a threat.

"So what do you want? Big party or quiet get together?" Willow asked, as she and Buffy walked through the cemetery. It was still daylight, but not for much longer, and Buffy expected that Spike would catch up to them shortly after sunset.

"I dunno," Buffy said with a shrug.

"C'mon, Buffy. It's your twenty first birthday. We can conjure you up something…" Buffy shot her a glance. "No! Not conjure. Um, bad phrasing. I just meant, as a group, we can come up with something really big. I expect the same on my big 2-1," she teased.

"I dunno,Wil. I kinda just feel like staying in. You know how crazy my birthdays can get. I'd be happy if all of my friends could be in one room without any snide remarks for one night."

"Yeah, that's a tough one," Willow admitted. "But, hey, did you notice yesterday? Spike said he was hungry, and Xander didn't say anything? I mean, you could tell he wanted to, but he didn't."

"True. He's trying. So is Giles. I mean, Giles had to share his bathroom with Spike for a while, and I know he hated every minute of it. But at least he's being…kinda civil." Buffy yawned.

"Didn't sleep much last night?" Buffy couldn't hide her smile. "Oh…yeah, I know what you mean. Since Tara visited me in England and we worked things out…we've been kinda…"

"Get a room-y?"

"Yeah," Willow said with a slight blush.

"It's ok, Wil. I get it. Believe me, I do." She yawned again. "Plus, I've been helping Giles with Dana."

"She doesn't really seem like the psycho murderess type, does she?"

"No, not really," Buffy frowned.

"Now Faith? There's a girl who can wear her true colors on her sleeve, huh?" Buffy nodded a little but said nothing. Willow decided to change the subject. "So you haven't had any more problems 'cause of the claim?"

"Nope. The claim site is pretty much healed over, and it doesn't burn anymore. I've gotten a little light-headed, and sometimes I have a little headache, but nothing like before. I think that's the worst of it. I hope, anyway."

"What's it like? Being bonded to somebody?"

"I dunno, really. It's kind've like a mystical marriage, if you think about it. Since Spike can't exactly get married legally, this is the next best thing. He tried to make me brunch the other day. Can you picture it? A vampire making pancakes and fresh-squeezed orange juice?" The girls giggled together like old times.

"And you thought being the Slayer meant you'd never get married," Willow said with a grin.

"Yeah. Well, I'm pretty happy. I never thought it'd be Spike I'd be this happy with, but I'm…very happy." She shook her head, stuffing her hands in her pockets as the continued their patrol, making mental notes of all of the fresh graves. So far? Three. "Before Angel went to L.A., he told me I deserved to be with someone who could take me into the light."

"Yeah?" Willow wondered. Buffy nodded.

"I thought he was right, at first. I guess that's why I had so much trouble after what Parker did to me. And then I met Riley, and for a while, I thought I'd finally found what I was looking for. That lasted about two seconds, and I knew that as much as we had in common, he wasn't the guy I was supposed to be with."

"How'd you know?"

"Well, the fact that he was letting vampires drink from him behind my back was sort've a big neon sign in my face, but even before that. He wasn't the one I wanted to talk to about my mom when she was sick. I think Spike actually saw more emotion out of me than I let Riley see."

"You and Spike have had a connection for a long time."

"Yeah. I think the minute I met him, well, first, all I wanted to do was shove a stake through his heart, but I knew it wasn't going to be that easy. I knew he was gonna be around for a long time."

"Aren't you glad you didn't dust him?" Willow chuckled.

"Oh yeah. I've definitely seen a side of him that nobody else has."

"I'll bet," her friend teased. Buffy rolled her eyes, but her smile was all truth-telling. But before she could say anything, her cell phone rang. Furrowing her brows, she answered.

"Hello?"

"Buffy, it's Xander. You need to get to Dana's right away."

"I'll be right there," Buffy said briskly before hanging up.

"Big trouble?" Willow wondered.

"Maybe. It's Dana. Let's go." Willow nodded and followed her friend out of the cemetery.

***

"What happened?" Buffy asked quietly, as she and Giles stepped out into the hall.

"I was driving her home from our training session, and she went into some sort of…of trance. She started to become very unstable, and by the time I got her back here, she was spouting off things that I can only assume are memories. It was as if she didn't know where she was. She was so consumed within the memories."

"Is…is she ok?"

"She is now, but these flashes of memory are coming faster now, and it's making her very unstable. I'm afraid if this continues, she might revert back to…"

"To the state she was in when the Council took her?"

"Yes, precisely."

"So what do we do?"

"I know a spell," he started, "but it could go either one of two ways."

"Let me guess. Good or horribly bad."

"Well…yes."

"What does it do?"

"It's sort of along the lines of how a hypnotherapist might dig up hidden memories for their patients."

"Oh," Buffy said quietly. "So, you mean, just give her all those memories of why she was put in prison, yadda yadda yadda?" Giles nodded. "So it would…what? Give her peace of mind or make her Psycho Slayer?"

"It's quite possible. But the memories are becoming more physically harmful to her. She seemed to be in a lot of pain, clutching at her head as if she had a terrible migraine." Buffy frowned.

"You don't think this has anything to do with what was happening to me, do you?"

"I don't believe there's a connection, but we know so little…"

"Ok," Buffy said with a nod. "Looks like it's gonna be intense no matter what. You should get ready. Looks like we're about to find out what really happened to put her in that place. Let's just hope it wasn't what I think it was."

"Right. I'll get started." He headed off, and Buffy went off to make a phone call, letting Spike know he'd be patrolling alone tonight.

***

"What'll this do again?" Willow wondered, as Giles brought the new Slayer into a trance. She'd spent the past hour explaining her broken memories, trying to piece them all together. Trying to remember had gotten her even more agitated, so Giles had decided to resort to this.

"It'll piece together the darkened parts of her memories. She'll be able to tell us exactly what happened."

"This wouldn't happen to be laced with a truth spell, would it?" Xander asked.

"Yes. Thanks for that, by the way, Willow."

"Just doing my part," the redhead nodded.

"Wait a minute. Is this really a good idea? I mean, if she remembers everything, what if she…you know…goes crazy? Can she hear me?" Giles shook his at Xander.

"That's what the weapons are for, right sweetie?" Anya asked, looking up at Xander. She held a crossbow in her hands.

"The rate at which her memory is returning is quite remarkable. It's highly likely that it will completely return within days, and until then, the agitation is also likely to increase. I think the safest thing to do for everyone would be to do this spell."

"And she'll remember everything when she wakes up?" She was suddenly wondering if this was such a good idea.

"In theory."

"There you go again," Buffy muttered. But, his reasoning was the most logical. "Alright. Do it. But if she so much as reaches for a weapon when she wakes up, she's on the first flight back to Travers and the Council. Got it?"

"I agree," Giles replied. "The last thing Sunnydale needs is a rogue vampire Slayer."

"Again," Xander offered, thinking about Faith. Anya patted his arm. Giles cleared his throat.

"Shall we get started?"

***

Her voice quivered as if she were there; as if it were happening to her all over again. "They're pulling me down the hall. There are three of them. They're dragging me. My feet are bleeding. I can't…I'm dizzy." She gripped the arms of the chair.

"You're safe, Dana. Please, try to focus," Giles breathed, as everybody leaned in, waiting for more.

"He has a needle. He sticks it in my arm, and everything goes black. I can't see. But they're pulling me. They're clawing at me. I can't…I don't know where I am." Tears fell from beneath her closed eyelids. "They're hitting me. Throwing me to the ground. I try to fight, but I can't see them. Then everything's quiet. I'm sleeping."

"What happens when you wake up, Dana?"

"They're dead. They're all dead, and I'm holding the weapon. But I don't remember. I can't…they tried to hurt me."

Buffy felt her stomach twist into knots at the sound of the story.

"What do you hear?"

"Nothing. I can barely see. It's blurry, but I start to run. The door's open, and I run. And it's raining. It's cold, and someone stops me. But they don't understand me when I try to talk to them. They run away from me. Afraid. I can hear myself, and I don't make sense. I can barely run. My legs are stiff, and it hurts."

"Where do you go?"

"I don't…I just fall. I'm sleeping again."

"And when you wake?" Dana hesitated. Her eyes moved back and forth rapidly beneath her lids as if she were dreaming.

"It's dark. It's cold. My hands and feet are cuffed. The people…I can't understand them. They're angry."

"And when do you leave?"

"I don't. A man comes and visits me. He gives me shots to try and make me better. But he doesn't. It only gets worse. They look like animals. Savage animals. I try to escape, and I…" Her voice caught in her throat.

"You killed the guards."

"They were holding me down. They were dragging me. I fought them. I didn't know I was so strong." Buffy felt a chill run up her spine. "Please. I can't…" Dana was whimpering now. "Make it stop. They're bleeding. I'm hurting them. They're…they're so still."

Everyone in the room stood staring at one another, uncertain of what to say or if they should even move.

"Dana," Giles breathed, "is there anything else you remember?"

"Mr. Travers. He comes to visit me. He takes me away, and then…I'm strapped to a table. They're putting needles in me. I can understand them again. They're going to make me better. They're telling me I'm Chosen." She was trembling now. "They tell me the past doesn't matter." Giles stood up, clearing his throat. "Dana, when I snap my fingers, you're going to wake up and remember everything."

Buffy's hands tightened around her weapon, while everyone else grasped something to protect themselves with just in case Dana's triggered memories were to cause her to make any sudden violent movements.

Giles snapped his fingers, and Dana's eyes fluttered open. They were red from the tears, which were still falling. She began to breath heavily, and she gripped the chair arms tighter.

"Dana?" She looked around at everyone, seeing all of their faces filled with doubt and a little fear.

"I remember," she breathed. "I killed them. I killed them. I…" She lurched forward out of the chair, falling on her hands and knees. She heaved, but nothing came up.

"Give her some room," Tara suggested softly. Everyone in the room took a couple steps back.

"They drugged me," she whispered. "They were going to kill me, and they drugged me. I killed them. I can't remember doing it, but I did it. I know I did."

"Sounded like self-defense to me," Willow offered. Everyone cast a glance at her before turning back to Dana.

"I killed the guards. I…I was afraid." She shook her head. "Why did I…"

"The drug they gave you. It…it must have triggered hallucinations," Giles thought aloud. "Of course they wouldn't have run blood tests on you when they brought you in, and whatever it was they administered to you at the prison…" He was silent for a moment.

"Finish, please?" Xander asked, jaw agape.

"It's possible that the combination of the drugs altered her consciousness on some level…played tricks on the mind. It's a theory."

"A theory? It doesn't make up for what I did!" Dana exclaimed.

"You were protecting yourself," Buffy interjected. "Number one on the things-to-do list for Slayers? Don't die. You survived."

"Yeah. But it doesn't change anything," Dana breathed. "It doesn't change what I am. I'm a murderer."

***

"What's going on, pet?" Spike wondered, as Buffy slipped outside to fill him in on the news.

"Dana remembers everything," she pointed out. "You know those weird fits she's been having the past couple of weeks? The ones after her dreams?"

"Yeah…"

"I guess it got really bad tonight, and Giles did a spell…kind of a truth spell, but it helped unlock some memories for her. Well, now she remembers what happened."

"What was it?" he wondered, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

"She was attacked by, I'm guessing, three men. They shot her up with something, and she blacked out. When she woke up, she was standing over them, and they were dead. The doctors in the prison shot her up with something else, and Giles has a theory that maybe the drugs mixing together played a part in her going all…wild, rabid, coma girl."

"That makes no bloody sense," Spike said, shaking his head. "I'm sure it's true, if Sherlock came up with it, but…now what?"

"I don't know. She's beating herself up now. It's like she's just gotten her soul back or something. She's taking it pretty hard."

"But she didn't go crazy and try to kill everyone inside? That's a plus, right, Slayer?"

"Yeah. That's a big plus," she agreed with a nod. "Now, I guess we just help her out, keep training her. She's saying she wants to go back to England, but Giles doesn't trust the Council to help her, you know?"

"Don't blame him. A bunch of limey, sodding…"

"Spike."

"Sorry, they're pro-dust when it comes to vampires, luv."

"Yeah," Buffy said with a half-smile. "But you're sleeping with a pro-duster. But then again, I make an exception for you." She gave him a little wink, but she heard Willow call for her and sighed. "How was patrol?"

"Only one clawing his way out tonight." She shrugged. "Ought to be heading home." He paused, smiling a little at the way it sounded for him to call her house 'home.' "Though Dawn's going to ask me to help her with her history homework. She says I have no bloody excuse, because I've lived through most of what they're covering. Think she'd buy it if I told her I slept through most of it?"

"I don't think so. But tell her _I_ said she can't use you as a reference. If she wants answers, she's going to have to find them the old fashioned way."

"Right. Your sister _is_ a Summers. She knows how to get what she wants. Mind you, you're much more convincing." He leaned in, kissing her deeply for only a few moments before he pulled away. "I'll wait up."

"I'll be home as soon as I can." She squeezed his arm through his leather duster, and she pulled him in for one more kiss before sending him off toward home.

***

"Maybe we should have waited to do the spell," Willow suggested as they all sat around in Dana's living room. Dana had long since passed out on her bed from exhaustion, but nobody was quite ready to make a move to leave yet. Somebody needed to stay with her through the night and make sure she was alright, and while the obvious choice was Buffy, Tara and Willow had offered, since they'd spent more time with her recently. Buffy had given Willow a couple of weapons for a just-in-case scenario.

"No, it was the right time," Giles said with an assuring nod. "The memories were taking a physical and emotional toll on her. If she'd continued to get those memories back in fragments, it might have driven her mad."

"What if it already did?" Anya suggested. "She could be a very good actress." Giles shook his head.

"No. No, I saw her before. She's not acting."

"Truth spell, remember?" Willow asked.

"Well, no offense Wil, but your spells haven't always worked in the past," Xander pointed out, immediately regretting it after the hurt look appeared on Willow's face.

"Hey!"

"I said 'no offense.'"

"I don't think we're gonna figure anything else out right now, guys. Let's just call it a night and see what happens in the morning."

"Buffy's right. Let's all get some rest. Tomorrow is another day, after all. Perhaps Dana will be feeling in better spirits."

"Or she'll try to murder Willow and Tara in their sleep." Both witches shot her disbelieving glances. "What? I was just pointing out a possibility."

"Come on, Sweetie. Let's get you home," Xander suggested, ushering her toward the door.

"I'm gone too. Wil? Call if you guys need anything."

"Alright. We'll be fine though," she assured Buffy. Buffy nodded and made for the door, and Giles followed her out. As they were walking out to the street, Giles placed his hand on Buffy's shoulder.

"And how are you feeling?"

"Me? I'm ok. Just a little tired. I'll be fresh as a daisy tomorrow and ready for research." Giles raised an eyebrow. "Ok. Well, I'll be ready to train while everybody else researches."

"I thought so," Giles said with an amused smirk. "Good night, Buffy."

"Night," she called, stuffing her hands in her pockets and heading toward Revello Drive to snuggle up with Spike for what she was sure would be a very long, very pleasant night.


	34. Birthday Plans

Chapter 34: Birthday Plans

"If you're not going to tell me what you want, then you might end up with a lump of coal as a present."

"It's not Christmas. It's my birthday," Buffy pointed out, sprawled out naked on the bed next to an equally naked Spike. "And I don't want anything."

"There's got to be something, pet. Something in that pretty little head of yours…"

"Seriously. My birthdays tend to rank pretty high on the suck-o-meter. I'd rather just not even think about it."

"C'mon, pet. It's not every day you turn 21."

"Really, Spike. I'd rather just spend the day at home with my favorite person." Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, well…"

"I meant Dawn." His face fell. "Kidding. I wanna be with my family and friends on my birthday."

"So if they're all here, why not have a cake? Some balloons? A keg?"

"First of all, you should know me well enough to know that beer is not of the good."

"Right. I forgot about Buffy the Cavewoman."

"Hey!" She slapped him playfully on the chest.

"Then again, I think I might like to see that." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"I'll bet." She rolled onto her side to face him, lazily tracing her finger around his nipple. "How about you? What kind of shindigs do you have for your birthdays?"

"I'm one-hundred-and-twenty-eight, pet. I stopped celebrating after a hundred, like any vampire with an ounce of pride." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"I meant when you were _human_."

"Oh," he scoffed, reaching over to grab his pack of cigarettes off of the night stand. He lit up and glanced at Buffy, who was narrowing her eyes at him. "C'mon, Slayer. I've been good."

"No smoking in the house," she pointed out, taking the cigarette from his mouth and flicking it out the open window.

"You know, you could cause fires that way."

"Don't change the subject. Birthdays?"

"Oh. That. Nothing special. We didn't go all out for twenty-firsts like they do these days. Mostly, me and Mum would have tea and scones in the morning, and then we'd have dinner, maybe some dancing that evening." Buffy couldn't help but giggle. "What? Making fun of me, are you?"

"No. I just can't picture you sitting there having tea and scones with anybody's mother, let alone your own. I can't even picture you in a coat and tails."

"Not a time I like to think about anyway," he shrugged.

"Oh, don't pout." She leaned over to take his lower lip between hers. "Then again, I kinda like it when you do."

"You wouldn't have liked me then, anyway," he breathed after she'd pulled back and rested her head against his chest. "If that William existed today, I'd probably have eaten him long ago." Buffy made a face.

"How could you eat him and then he still be here today?"

"You know what I mean."

"You couldn't have been that bad."

"I'll tell you one thing, luv. They might have called my William the Bloody after I was a vampire for one reason, but back then? It had an entirely different meaning. I was such a…"

"Hey. I don't like people saying anything about my William. Even from the pre-fangy days." She kissed him again, and he ran his hand down her back. "Mmm…"

"What time is it?" Buffy strained to look at the clock, moving a pillow that was blocking her view. She groaned. "Eight thirty."

"Stay home today. I'm sure Giles can handle Dana on his own." Buffy sighed.

"He's determined to help her, but I don't think she's getting what she needs here. She's doing better, but she needs to talk to somebody that can help her."

It had been a few days since Giles had performed the spell on Dana, and understandably, the girl was still a wreck about what had happened. Some men, men she didn't know from any other encounters in her life, had drugged her, rendering her into a state in which she couldn't remember killing them, but most likely had. She'd spent so long being drugged up in jail that her mental health had deteriorated. Now, she was thinking clearly again, but she had the memories that weighed her down every day. She was training, yes, and she was trying to get her frustration out in the process, but what she really needed was help that they couldn't give her.

"You think she should go back to England?" Spike wondered.

"I'm not sure. I agree with Giles that it's better that she's here, because some people at the Council can't be trusted, but we can't help her with some of her problems. Not even Giles can, and he's probably the smartest person I know."

"What's the girl want?"

"She still says she wants to go back to England, but she's not even from there. She doesn't have any living family. It's just…it's a mess." She sat up, pulling a sheet around herself. At that moment, the phone rang. She frowned and started to reach over Spike to pick up. But, he grabbed the phone for her.

"Buffy can't come to the phone right now. She's all tied up."

"Spike!" she squeaked. "Gimme the phone." She made a face at her, and she smiled, taking the phone in her hands.

"Hello? Oh, hi Giles. No! I'm not. Spike's just being…yeah. Ok. I'll be right there." She handed the phone back to Spike and he hung up.

"Thought you didn't have to be there 'til…"

"I know," she grumbled, getting out of bed. "I don't mind going in early." At his glance, she frowned. "Ok, I do mind, but…" He pulled on her hand, tugging her back into bed.

"You can be late. Slayer doesn't have to be perfect all the time." He claimed her lips with his own, and she moaned against him, but to his disappointment, she pushed back on his shoulders and got back out of bed.

"I have to go. Really…I…"

"C'mon, luv. Can't you just…"

"No, I can't just!" she barked, surprising the both of them. Spike's eyebrows rose, and Buffy took a deep breath, calming herself a bit. "Listen, I have a job to do. As much as I'd like to stay naked all day, I really, _really_ have to go. I don't even have time to get a shower." She could see the hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I just…I'll make it up to you later, 'kay?"

"Right," he muttered, getting out of bed.

"Oh, come on," Buffy groaned. "Don't be like that. I shouldn't have gone off like that." His back was to her, and he was pulling on his pants. She came up behind him, and when he straightened up to zip his pants, she wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his back. She placed soft kisses there. "I'm sorry. Don't be mad, ok?"

"Not mad, kitten. Just disappointed."

"You get me, what, twenty hours of the day? You've got to learn to share," she teased, brushing her fingertips against his back, moving around to stand in front of him.

"I know how to share. Just don't like to," he replied with a smirk, pulling her against him and burying his face against her neck, placing kisses there that made her knees weak.

"Whoa…" He felt her start to sway a little, and he stood back, holding her arms. She looked up at him, eyes glassed over, and she started to go down. He quickly scooped her up before she could hit the floor, and he put her down on the bed.

"Buffy?"

"What…"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I think so. Just…I should eat something." She swallowed hard. "I've gotta go."

"Don't you think you ought to wait it out?"

"I'll be ok, Spike. Really. I just need to eat something, and then I'll feel better." Spike eyed her, and she could see the worry. "It's ok, Spike."

"This is 'cause of the claim."

"Spike, we don't really know that. This hasn't really been happening lately. It's probably just…I just…I need to eat. Ok? Don't worry." She kissed him softly. She turned to go get her clothes, and her own hair flipped into her face. She frowned. She smelled like cigarettes and sweat. Not very becoming.

"Gross," she muttered.

"What?"

"I smell like I've been having sex all night."

"You have, luv. You smell won…"

"Don't even finish that sentence," she warned him.

"Looks like you're gonna be late after all. Go have yourself a bite to eat, and I'll get the water nice and hot."

"Giles is gonna kill me."

"Tell him you ran into a feisty demon."

"Guess it wouldn't be too much of a stretch, huh?" she wondered. Spike chuckled, and he kissed her forehead. Buffy pulled a robe around herself and headed down the stairs to find something to eat. But judging by the way her stomach felt, she wasn't so sure she'd be able to keep it down.

***

"Thank you for finally joining us," Giles murmured, as Buffy stumbled into the Magic Box that morning. Her outward appearance was stunning, and she looked fine, but her eyes gave everything away. "Buffy? Are you alright?"

"Huh? What? Fine." Everyone turned to look at her. "What? I'm ok."

"Buff, at the risk of getting a fist in my face, you look tired." Buffy glared at Xander.

"I'm _not _tired. I just got a late start this morning, is all." She moved across the room and took a seat next to Willow. "Where's Dana?"

"She's in the back…venting," Willow said carefully. Buffy furrowed her brows.

"If she breaks the punching bag, that doesn't mean I have to buy another one, does it?" Anya questioned from the counter. "Slayer training isn't part of the business."

"No, Anya," Giles assured her. "Dana's just very fragile right now."

"If she was fragile, she'd break herself on the punching bag," Anya pointed out. Giles sighed and turned to Buffy.

"Willow performed a locator spell today. It seems there's a Fyarl demon in one of the Sewers below Jorge Street. Would you mind taking a look?"

"Taking a look as in chasing him off, or as introducing him to the sharp edge of my sword?"

"Yes, well, the latter would be best," Giles said with a nod.

"Got it."

"If you're not feeling up to it, I can take Dana…"

"No. I'm totally up. I could use a good slay."

"Or a good…" Xander started, but shut up after receiving a sharp elbow in the ribs from Willow. "What? I wasn't gonna say…oh never mind."

"Who wants to come with?" Buffy wondered.

"I would, but I'm still trying to perfect this relaxation spell they taught me in England," Willow murmured, turning back to her books.

"I'll go," Xander offered. "If…if you don't mind." Buffy hesitated but finally nodded. He was trying. That was good. The least she could do was try, too. But if one of his eyes so much as twitched at the sound of Spike's name, she was sending him right back here.

"Ok. Let's get ready." They both headed over toward the weapons chest, but before Buffy could reach it, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face Willow.

"Are you ok, Buffy?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. You seem a little…you know, tense." Buffy shrugged.

"I don't know," she breathed. "Maybe it's that time of the month." At her own words, she froze. Actually, if she remembered correctly, last week was supposed to be that time of the month. She counted in her head. Yep. Definitely. Something wasn't right.

"Oh," Willow said with a nod. "Ok, well, feel better, ok?"

"Thanks, Wil." Buffy smiled and turned away from her friend. Xander tossed her a crossbow and a clunky sword.

"Ready, Buff?"

"Let's go kick some Fyarl ass."

***

"Whoa, there, Buff," Xander huffed, jogging to keep up with her. "You forget that your non-superhero friends can't walk that fast without having to breathe more than usual."

"Sorry, Xander," Buffy muttered, wiping her hands on the sides of her jeans. She was sweating now.

"If there's something wrong…if you want me to go back…"

"No, it's fine. You can stay."

"What's the matter, Buffy? I know things between us haven't been great lately, but, I thought we were getting past it…"

"We are," Buffy assured him. "It's not you. I'm just…I can't shake this feeling."

"What feeling?"

"I don't know. That's the thing. I haven't felt like this before." She frowned but continued on at her brisk pace. Xander took a few deep breaths before struggling to catch up with her. "I was starting to feel better, but this morning, I nearly passed out again."

"Did you tell Spike?"

"I didn't have to. He caught me before I hit the floor."

"You should talk to Giles."

"I don't think it's anything demon-y," she pointed out. "I don't know if he could help."

"What about a doctor?" Buffy grumbled at that. "C'mon, Buff. Even Slayers get sick sometimes too. You should go. Your Mom would…" A sudden chill ran through her. Oh God. What if… Tears threatened to spill over, but she bit her lip and held them back.

"I'm ok," she whispered quietly, though now the only thing she could think of was that she had some giant tumor growing in her brain. What if she died like her mom did too? What if she just laid down on the couch one afternoon and didn't wake up?

"I'm sorry," he whispered after a few minutes of silence. "I didn't mean to…I'm not trying to say that you'll get sick like your mom did."

"I know." Her voice was cracking now.

"Buff…" She turned to him, tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry. Please…don't…I'm…I'm sorry." She shook her head.

"It's not your fault." She sniffled. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Now…now I'm kinda afraid to find out."

"Don't be scared, Buff. It's probably just…you've had a lot of stress with…you know, with everything. Maybe it's just catching up to you?" Buffy nodded. She and Xander finally turned onto Jorge Street, and sure enough, there was a cock-eyed manhole up ahead. Buffy raced to it, yanking it open, but before she had the chance to jump down and hunt for the demon, the large, horned beast leapt out at her, tackling her to the ground.

"Oof," she groaned, as the demon's large hands pinned her to the ground. Xander jumped forward with a smaller sword, whacking the demon in the shoulder. The Fyarl roared, and Buffy grabbed him, rolling him over into the bushes and out of the sight of possible travelers. Once on the other side of the bushes, Buffy kneed the Fyarl in the groin and kicked him off of her.

He was yelling, flailing his arms at her, and whatever he was yelling, she couldn't make it out. She reached for her own sword, but it was quickly knocked out of her hands. Instead, she grabbed a knife and lunged at the beast. She drove the blade deep into his chest, twisting it. He roared, grabbing her and throwing her against the nearest tree. She groaned as she hit the ground with a thud, and Xander once again hacked at the beast, tearing its arm off at the elbow.

The Fyarl reached for Buffy's knife, yanking it free of his chest, and he tossed it over his shoulder, zeroing in on the Slayer.

"Hey! I'm the one that lopped your arm off. Come after me!" Xander called, trying to divert him from the struggling Slayer. She was shaking a little, trying to stand and catch her breath. The Fyarl tossed Xander aside and came at the Slayer. However, before he reached her, a sword plunged into his back. He roared again, turning around to see Xander, who stood there, seemingly out of ammo and ideas, but just as the Fyarl came at him, he saw two arms circle around the beast's neck. Buffy buried a knife up to the hilt in his chest again, this time getting his heart. He fell to the ground letting out one final, gurgling gasp.

She stumbled back a little, and Xander hurried to her.

"Buff? Are you…"

"I'm fine. I'm fi…" And she began to fall. He caught her and held her up while standing over the corpse of a Fyarl demon. When he felt her trembling, he knew something was very wrong. He held her close and rushed her out of the yard.

"It'll be ok, Buff. Just hang on."

***

"Hello?"

"Spike? It's Xander."

"What? Why are you calling here? Buffy's…"

"I know. Buffy's with me. I mean, not right now. She's with the doctor."

"Doctor? What happened?"

"She got roughed up by a Fyarl demon, and she passed out. I brought her to Sunnydale General."

"I need to…"

"Spike, I don't think Buffy would appreciate it if she found out my phone call brought you out on a sunny day and got you dusted. Just stay there. I'll drive her home when she's feeling up to it."

"Is she awake?"

"Yeah. She's with the doctor. Everybody's here." Spike silently cursed to himself that he couldn't be included in that 'everybody' because he was a sodding vampire.

"Call me when you hear anything, alright? Just let me know she's ok." This was one of the few times Xander had actually heard true fear in Spike's voice. He cleared his throat.

"Yeah. I will. Just…don't worry." The phone went dead, and Spike slammed the receiver down. Don't worry? How the hell was he supposed to not worry when he'd just found out that the woman he loves is in the hospital, and he can't get to her?

He looked at the clock. Dawn would be home soon. If it wasn't for that fact, he'd probably have been searching for the thickest blanket around so he could get to her, but she'd have his hide if he let Dawn come home to an empty house with no note. She wouldn't want Dawn to worry unnecessarily.

"Calm down, mate," he assured himself. "She'll be alright." He swallowed hard. She _had_ to be alright.

***

"Miss Summers, how are you feeling?" Dr. Jones, a pleasant looking woman, sat down on a stool next to the bed.

"Can I go home?"

"Of course you can. I'd just like to talk to you about your test results."

"Test results? I didn't ask for any…"

"We took a blood sample for testing when your friend, Mr. Harris, brought you in. We wanted to rule out anemia, pregnancy, that sort of thing."

"Oh," Buffy said quietly. "My mom…she had a brain tumor. Is that why I'm sick?"

"You're perfectly healthy, Miss Summers," the doctor assured her with an encouraging smile. "Would you like for me to bring Mr. Harris in?"

"Why?"

"Isn't he your boyfriend?"

"No!" Buffy half-gasped. "No, he's, uh, he's not my boyfriend."

"Oh. Well, is the father here? A bunch of your friends…"

"No, he's not exactly a day person. Wait, what? Father? My father? Please tell me you meant to say _my _father?"

"No, I said it correctly, Miss Summers. You're pregnant." Buffy's eyes grew wide, and her mouth opened, closed, and opened once more. But all she could get out was a little squeak. "It's very early, Miss Summers. I would say you're not even a month along yet. The symptoms have been known to occur sooner in some women. "I'll need to do an examination, but I'd guess that you're almost 4 weeks." Buffy's mouth had gone dry, and as the doctor continued to talk, telling her things she'd never thought she'd have to hear, she raised herself up to a sitting position.

"Huh?" The doctor gazed at her for a few moments before taking off her glasses.

"I take it this wasn't a planned pregnancy."

"No…no, it's an _impossible _pregnancy. You're wrong. I can't be pregnant." Dr. Jones smiled a little.

"Sometimes, no matter how careful a couple thinks they are…."

"No, you don't understand!" Buffy explained. "I _can't_ get pregnant. My, uh…he's doesn't…I mean, he can't…"

"You might want to inform him that he's not as sterile as he thought." Dr. Jones eyed her. "Or you might want to tell the actual father."

"What?! There…no, there hasn't been anyone…I don't understand." Her sentences were running together.

"You passed out, because you're slightly dehydrated. Your color's come back, but you're going to need to drink plenty of fluids."

"Okay," Buffy squeaked out, laying back against the bed, suddenly unable to sit up without the world spinning around her.

"Would you like me to send your friends in?"

"Uh…no. Not…not yet. Um, and don't say anything to them."

"I couldn't if I wanted to, Miss Summers. This is strictly between us." Buffy nodded, and the doctor left the room. Placing her hands over her face, Buffy thought about everything. She'd spoken to Angel once, and he'd told her that he couldn't give her children. Didn't that mean that all vampires were sterile? Their hearts weren't beating. How could their swimmers be swimming?

She closed her eyes, feeling her head start to pound. The doctor was wrong. That was it. The test was wrong. It had to be.

She sat up on the table-like bed and looked about the room, zeroing in on her shoes. She slipped them on and walked over to the mirror, looking herself over. She did look better than she had this morning, but now she had the frantic look of a young woman who just found out that her life was about to change forever. She shook her head. It wasn't. Nothing was going to change, because she _wasn't _pregnant.

She ran her fingers through her hair and turned to the door. She grabbed her coat and headed out into the hall. Giles, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, and even Dana were waiting on her.

"Buffy…are you alright?" Giles asked.

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. Just dehydrated," she said with a certain nod. "Um, Xander, could you give me a ride home?"

"Sure. I called Spike. He's worried about you."

"Call him back. Tell him I'm fine. I need to go to the bathroom anyway." Xander eyed her curiously.

"Ok..."

"I'll get the car," Anya offered, hurrying off to do her part.

"Do you need anything?" Willow asked.

"Nah. I'm just gonna go home. Take it easy, you know?"

"Ok," Willow said quietly. "If you want, Tara and I can come home."

"It's ok. I know you're both busy. Spike's there. I'll be ok." She gave her friend a forced but friendly smile and headed off toward the bathrooms.

"That was weird," Tara said softly.

"Yeah," Willow agreed. "The doctor didn't look worried though. She said everything was ok and Buffy was allowed to go home, so…maybe she's just a little shaken up from the ordeal?"

"Can we get out of here?" Dana asked quietly, looking around. "I hate hospitals."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course," Tara said with a nod. She offered one more glance in Buffy's direction, but Buffy had already turned the corner and disappeared out of sight.

* * *

_Hooray for being back up! Hope you enjoyed the last 3 chapters! Let me know what you thought!_


	35. Double Checking

Chapter 35: Double Checking

Buffy was silent the entire ride home. Xander didn't seem to notice, though, as he relayed the events of Buffy's passing out to Anya over and over again. Buffy just sat in the backseat, forehead pressed against the window, eyes closed, hoping she'd be home soon. Clutched in her hand was a little paper bag from the pharmacy. Inside was a little test she'd never thought she'd have to buy. Not even when she was with Riley had she had a scare. She shouldn't be scared now, because vampires couldn't impregnate anyone, but she was bound and determined to prove the doctor wrong.

"Are you going to tell Spike?" Anya asked from the front seat. Buffy whipped her head up to stare at the ex-demon.

"Huh?"

"I said, 'are you going to be alright?' You're not going to vomit all over the back seat, are you? Sometimes Xander and I have sex back there." Buffy, who'd grown used to Anya by now, just shook her head.

"Uh. No. I'm fine," she assured her.

"An, sex in the back seat? Sex of any kind, anywhere? That falls into the 'let's not tell Xander's friends' category."

"Sorry," Anya said with a sheepish smile and a shrug. "Buffy? If you do happen to throw up…and a lot, your dress for the wedding might have to be taken in, and…"

"Anya!" Xander exclaimed with exasperation. "Buffy's had a long day."

"Oh, take her side," she grumbled.

"It's ok. Really, Anya," Buffy assured her. "The wedding's only a few weeks away. I'm sure everything'll be ok."

"Oh my God," Anya breathed. "I'm going to be married in three weeks. Xander, the wedding! It's so soon." She sounded horror-stricken.

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Well, yes! We haven't finished planning, and…I don't have any time! With the work at the Magic Box…"

"You plan the wedding at work, sweetie. I don't see that changing in the next three weeks." Buffy drowned out the rest of their conversation, and before long, the van was pulling up outside of the summers' home. Buffy squinted, noticing that the mail was still in the mailbox. Dawn wasn't home yet, but judging by the clock, she'd be home pretty soon.

"Thanks for the ride, guys."

"Just call if you need anything."

"Thanks, Xander. I'm glad you were there today." Buffy gave him a weak smile before stepping out of the car and heading up to the house. Her fingers were wrapped so tightly around the little brown bag that her knuckles were white. She quickly stuffed it in her pocket and made her way up the porch steps, grabbed the mail, and headed inside.

Spike was pacing in the living room when she walked in. As soon as the door was shut, safely blocking out the sunlight, he rushed over to her.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm ok," she assured him half-heartedly. "Just a little dehydrated. They gave me juice."

"What was it?"

"Orange."

"No, I mean…what's wrong?"

"I just told you, Spike. I was just dehydrated. They gave me lots of fluids, and I'm feeling better." She frowned. "Oh, but I have to pee." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. He started to follow her up the stairs. She turned. "It's ok. I think I can do this on my own."

"Right," Spike mumbled. "I'll fix you something to eat."

"Thanks. Fix enough for Dawnie. She'll be home soon. Oh, better make enough for three. She said Jake might be coming with her."

"Right," Spike said with a nod. "You're sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine. Now…go cook." She smiled sweetly at him and headed up the stairs, hoping she'd pulled off that cool as a cucumber routine convincingly. But by the time she reached the bathroom and closed the door, she found herself leaning against it. Her heart was pounding, and she was gulping for breath. It took her a moment to register what exactly she'd come up here for. Right. The test. There was no way in hell she was pregnant, but she had to be sure.

The voice of reason told her that a test at the hospital would be far more accurate than a home pregnancy test, but the voice of Buffy kicked the other voice's ass.

She took off her coat and found the little brown bag inside. Clutching it in her shaking hands for a few moments, she mustered up the courage to open it.

She walked over toilet, dropped her pants and underwear and sat down awkwardly. She couldn't believe she was even taking a test like this. It wasn't happening. It couldn't be. But, she took a deep breath and did as the instructions told her. When she was finished, she put the stick on the sink and carefully began to read the instructions. Good, this one wasn't one of those one line means no, two lines means yes tests. All she had to do was wait for either a plus or a minus. Plus…positive…pregnant. God, what if it actually said that? What if the world was playing a huge joke on her, and she was the only person that didn't get it?

While she waited, she paced back and forth, trying not to look at the test that sat just a couple feet away. When a knock came at the door, she jumped.

"Huh?"

"Everything alright in there?"

"Uh, yeah! Be out in a minute." She hoped that had sounded convincing, but when she heard his footsteps walking away, she let out a sigh of relief.

Another thirty seconds, and a knock came again.

"Hold on, Spike! God!"

"Uh, Buffy?" _Shit! Dawn!_

"Dawn! Hey, um, I'll be out in a sec."

"Ok, but hurry! I really gotta go."

"Yeah. Ok." Buffy sighed heavily and ran her fingers through her hair. She checked the clock. It was time. "Ok. You're the Slayer. You can do this." She put one foot in front of the other and made her way over to the sink. Without looking, she picked the stick up in her hands. It was hard to look. What if it was true? What if she was pregnant? What did it mean? _Uch, just look at the stupid stick, already, _her mind screamed at her. So, with one more big breath, she looked down to face her fate.

There it was, staring up at her. A faint but obvious plus sign.

"Oh my God." The test shook in her hands, and she quickly wrapped it in toilet paper and stuffed it down in the waste basket. Knees trembling, she sat down on the edge of the tub. "Oh my God. Oh my…oh my God!" Another knock on the door. "What?!"

"Buffy! Come on! Whatever you're doing in there…" Buffy quickly stuffed the pregnancy test box in the paper bag and stuffed it down in the waste basket too. She washed her hands and went to unlock the door. When she opened it, a peeved Dawn stood in the hall, hands on her hips, doing the little dance familiar to all women waiting in line for the next free toilet. But, when she saw the look on her sister's face, her annoyance faded. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm ok."

"Spike said you fainted and Xander took you to the hospital."

"Yeah. But I'm ok now."

"You're sure?" Buffy nodded.

"Ok. If you're sure…"

"I am." Buffy gave her sister a reassuring smile, and Dawn reached out to hug her. Buffy's throat had gone dry, and the tears were threatening to fall, but she didn't let them.

"Ok. I _really_ gotta go," Dawn pointed out, letting her sister go.

"Right." Buffy nodded, and in a blur, she left her sister to her business. The smells coming from the kitchen were enticing, but suddenly, Buffy had no appetite. Pregnant. As in having a baby. As in having Spike's baby. As in…_oh God!_ Spike's baby. Was it even human?

She somehow made it down the stairs without her weak knees giving out, and she moseyed into the living room, throwing herself onto the couch, feet dangling over one arm while she stared at the ceiling.

"Hey, um, Buffy." Buffy looked over to see Jake standing in the doorway, that same admiring gaze he'd looked at her with on the beach in L.A., and the one he'd looked at her with for the past few weeks was plastered to his face.

"Hi Jake," she said with an inward groan. "Dawn's upstairs."

"I know. Um, so have you, uh, beat up anybody else lately?" Buffy frowned.

"You know that was a mugger, right? I don't just go around beating people up for the fun of it."

"Sure. But, you know, it was like you were this kickass chick…"

"Jake," Buffy said, sitting up to glare at him better, "why don't you go tell Dawn, you know, my sister…that you're dating…that dinner's almost ready."

"Is it? I think Spike just started cooking, and…"

"Just go, Jake," Buffy said with an annoyed half-smile.

"Oh. Um, ok." He hurried up the stairs. With a frown, Buffy went into the kitchen, where Spike was stirring something in a pan.

"Up for Spaghetti, pet? Figure it'd be easier to pass my blood off as pasta sauce in front of the boy."

"Yeah, the boy's here. How fun." Spike glanced at her with a raised eyebrow and then smirked.

"He's not still following you around like a puppy, is he?"

"Oh yeah. I hope Dawn doesn't notice. You know how teenagers can get."

"I was one myself once. I think I remember," he chuckled.

"Oh please. You were probably the least rebellious teen ever," Buffy pointed out, trying not to think of the fact that she'd just found out she was apparently carrying a mini-Spike, that if it was human, would probably grow up to be just like his father. A teenaged Spike? Oh God. What a nightmare.

"I was a bit of a ponce," he admitted. "Good thing about immortality is that you have plenty of time to change your image. Folks who don't like you die off, and you have a chance with a new crowd." Buffy just nodded and started to study the features of his face, wondering what a miniature version of him would look like. Or would it look like her? Or would it even be hers? How did it work? Was she just a host, or was she a mother? There were so many questions, and she supposed that the last one would have to wait until after the birth. Oh God! What if it wasn't a normal birth? What if the baby was a demon and decided to burst out of her like she'd seen in the movies? "Buffy? Slayer?"

"Huh?" She snapped out of it quickly.

"Where were you just then? You looked like you'd seen a ghost."

"Oh. I don't know. Daydreaming, I guess."

"Daydreams aren't usually that scary, I hope," he pointed out.

"Well, when you're the Slayer, you never know." She shrugged her shoulders and started to walk out of the kitchen, only to see Jake coming down the hall. She groaned and sat back down at the counter. "Incoming. Horny sixteen-year-old."

***

Dinner went by smoothly, though Dawn did most of the talking. Buffy mostly sat there and pondered her future with Spike and their possibly all-demon, half-demon, or all-human child. It was a mystery as to what she was carrying inside of her, and the even bigger mystery was…how? Under normal circumstances, of course she would know how, but these were far from normal.

Later that evening, after Jake had gone home and Dawn had gone up to bed, Buffy was silently cleaning up the kitchen, while Spike sat out on the porch having a smoke. When she was finished, she stepped out on the back porch to sit next to him. He immediately moved to give her his leather coat.

"It's ok. I'm not cold," she assured him.

"You were quiet at dinner."

"Oh? That? Oh, I was just sitting there, wondering how on Earth you were able to force down spaghetti and blood sauce."

"I put some tomatoes in it. Gave it some texture. Made it more realistic."

"Okay, gross," Buffy frowned.

"Better get used to it pet. We're stuck with each other."

"Stuck? Is that how you see it?"

"'Course not. Just teasing you, pet."

"I know." She scooted in closer to him, linking her arm through his and resting her head on his shoulder. "It's quiet."

"Yeah. Too quiet?"

"I dunno. The gang's out patrolling tonight. They wanted to let me rest. I guess if they come across anything especially hard to kill, they'd call." She sighed. "Do you think it's been too quiet, lately?"

"Hmm?" He took a long drag on the last of his cigarette before tossing the butt out in the yard.

"I mean, we normally can't go more than a few months without some horrible apocalypse-y thing happening. The worst I've had to deal with since I came back is the occasional hard-to-kill but not un-killable demon."

"You mean to tell me you're jonesing for a good fight?"

"Well, not really. I'm just saying…it's too good to be true." She looked away. "Being the Slayer means constantly being out there fighting some baddie, but since Glory, there hasn't been anything."

"Aside from your oh-so-normal resurrection?" Spike asked.

"Well, that didn't come with any demons to slay except for my own personal ones." Glancing at him out of the corner of her eyes, she swallowed hard. "Maybe things are about to change. Maybe…maybe this is the calm before the storm."

"Change? In what way?"

"I don't know. In any way. Good or bad." Spike shrugged.

"I like things just the way they are, myself," he pointed out, stuffing his pack of cigarettes into his jacket pocket.

"You do? You don't, you know, wish for anything?" Spike cocked an eyebrow and glanced at her.

"Evil vampires don't wish," he teased. "Though the minute I fell in love with you…yeah, I wished pretty hard. My wish came true, it did, the minute you told me you love me." Buffy felt the tears start to come. _Oh no, _her head warned her, _not the hormones!_ It was official. She was pregnant, and she was a hormonal pregnant woman at that.

"That's really sweet," she whispered.

"What's the matter, luv? You're acting like…like something bad's going to happen."

"I don't know," she said with a shake of her head, brushing the tears away and biting her lip to try and ward off the rest. "Maybe it's…it's not necessarily bad. I don't know."

"Did the doctor tell you something today? Is that what's got you scared?"

"I'm fine, Spike. Really," she said with a nod. "Xander had me thinking maybe I was…was sick like my mom."

"That little wanker."

"No. It wasn't his fault. I guess the thoughts were already kinda there. I just didn't want to think them." She sighed, and could practically hear her heart fall.

"There something you wanna tell me, pet?"

"I…" _I'm pregnant with your child. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. I'm terrified. I don't know what to do. I need you_. She couldn't form the words. "I'm tired. Let's…let's go to bed, ok?"

***

"Hello?"

"Dana?"

"Yes?"

"This is Quentin Travers."

"Oh…oh, hi."

"I was just calling on behalf of the Council to check on you. How are you doing?" There was a pause, and then Dana took a deep breath.

"Ok. Mr. Giles is a good teacher. I'm learning a lot from him."

"Yes, you would be wise to learn from Mr. Travers. However, I should warn you that while Ms. Summers may be the only Slayer you have to model your actions after, you would be wise to show more…self-restraint."

"Because of what I did in the past? Mr. Giles told me he let you know that I remember now."

"Yes, but the past is behind you, Dana. You're a Slayer now, and that comes first. You are under our watch now, not the prison's. Just remember that. What I need you to know is that while Ms. Summers may be gallivanting around with the enemy, you should be careful. Vampires are not to be trusted."

"But Spike's nice. He's…he's nice to me."

"I'm just saying to watch yourself, Dana. He may be in Ms. Summers' good graces, but he's no longer controlled by a little chip in his head. He's free to kill if he sees fit, and demons are often unpredictable. Just be careful, and don't hesitate to…"

"I'm not going to kill Spike. Buffy would kill _me_," Dana pointed out. "Everybody's been really…really good to me, even if I don't deserve it."

"You're not happy there, are you, Dana?"

"I…I don't know."

"You want to come home?"

"London isn't home. I don't know where home is anymore." She sighed heavily.

"I'll keep in touch, Dana. Just remember, if you want to come back to the Council and work with our therapists, they cannot stop you from leaving."

"I'll think about it. I just…I have a lot to learn from Buffy and Mr. Giles. I want to leave, but…I don't know if I'm ready yet."

"Like I said…I'll keep in touch." The line went dead, and Dana hung up. She sat down on the couch in her empty apartment, and she closed her eyes. Flashes of her past ran through her head, and she felt the anxiety rushing through her. Shaking her head, she decided she wasn't going to let herself panic anymore.

She stood up and grabbed her coat. Fishing through a box next to the door, she grabbed a couple stakes. With one look around her secure apartment, she headed out into the night to join the patrol.

***

Buffy anxiously sat on the side of the bed, wondering how exactly she was supposed to tell Spike. She thought hard about it. Maybe he would find out on his own. Maybe…wait a minute. He could often hear her heart beating. What if he could hear the baby's?

Spike came walking into the room completely naked, and Buffy's jaw dropped.

"Spike! Dawn's still up! She's doing homework!"

"No she's not," he chuckled. "She's snoring. Must've fallen asleep face first in her book."

"Oh," Buffy muttered. Ok, so…maybe he'd find out. She was barely a month pregnant. Did the baby even have a heartbeat yet? She swallowed hard. Or was it still just a little clump of cells? She didn't know much about these things. It scared her to realize that she was going to have to find out eventually, especially since she assumed her life with Spike would mean no children.

Spike came over to her side of the bed, and he had that gleam in his eyes. She bit her lip nervously, and he wondered why she suddenly looked like a shy little virgin. She was preoccupied, he decided. He'd quickly change that.

He knelt down in front of her, and she realized his was her chance to test out his hearing. She let him raise her gown over her head, revealing her toned, naked body underneath. She smiled down at him, cupping his face in her hands. She leaned down to kiss him and ran her fingers through his hair.

When she finally let him go, he leaned in to place a kiss along the valley between her breasts. Then he moved downward. His hands gently massaged her thighs, while he pressed kisses to her stomach, working his way down. This was her chance.

"Did you hear that?" Spike froze.

"Hear wha--?"

"Shh!" she insisted. "Listen carefully." Spike was still now, listening, wondering what little game his minx of a Slayer was up to. She smiled a little, watching the expression on his face. He was so focused, so intrigued. She brushed her fingers through his hair again, and slowly, she brought his head to her stomach. His ear was pressing against her. Surely, if he was going to hear a heartbeat, he would hear one now. But several moments passed, and he finally pulled away to look up at her. Her eyes were filled with wonder and anticipation.

"Didn't hear anything, pet," he said with a shake of his head. She sighed a little and nodded, making a mental note to pick up a book about pregnancy in the morning. _Do they make books about potentially mystical pregnancies or demon babies?, _she wondered.

"Oh…hmm…probably just the wind," she suggested. With a smile, she bent down to kiss him again. "C'mere." He stood up long enough to straddle her legs that dangled over the bed, and he crawled over her, laying her back, kissing her softly.

She loved it when he made love to her like this. When he took his time and explored her. She could tell by the way his hands moved her arms up to rest them against the mattress, that his intention was to make this all about her. She moaned softly, as he scooted them both up the bed, never letting his lips move from her neck. She closed her eyes, relishing the sensation, and she let out a little gasp as his hand moved between her legs, parting her already wet folds.

"You want me?" he murmured against her pulse, as she turned her head to give him better access.

"Always." It was a whisper, but it was enough.

* * *

_Thanks again for your awesome feedback and support! Please keep it coming! Let me know what you thought!_


	36. Waking Up

Chapter 36: Waking Up

"Bloody Hell!" Buffy's eyes flew open in the morning, and she didn't have time to ponder whether or not the whole pregnancy thing had been a dream, because there was Spike waving the tissue-wrapped test right in front of her face. She shot up in bed.

"Oh my God."

"You're telling me, Slayer! Mind you, I've never seen one of these bloody things before, but…"

"Spike, I can…"

"Your little sister's pregnant!"

"What…I…"

"It can't be yours or Willow's or Tara's, not unless they magically conjured up a…"

"Spike!" Buffy exclaimed.

"She must've hidden it. If it wasn't for me tripping over the sodding wastebasket, I never would have…why am I holding this?" He tossed the stick down in the wastebasket next to their bed. "I could kill her. No. The boy. I'll kill him."

"Spike, no!" Buffy hissed in a whisper. "You'll wake up Dawn…"

"Are you deaf, Slayer? I just told you your baby sister, your _fifteen_-year-old baby sister is having a baby herself, and you're looking at me like I'm the crazy person!"

"No, you don't…"

"I knew there was more going on. That little bastard. I'll kill him. Soul or no soul, he's mine, the little pri…"

"Spike!" Buffy exclaimed, clamping her hand over Spike's mouth before he could do anymore verbal damage. "It's not Dawn's test. It's mine." Spike made a muffled noise that sounded as if he was choking, and his eyes grew wide. "Promise not to yell anymore, and I'll take my hand off." He nodded slowly, and she sighed, pulling her hand away. "It's my test. I'm pregnant." She studied his face, not sure what to expect.

"You uh…well, this is…uh…"

"Yeah, that's about where I am right now," Buffy pointed out.

"How did this…uh…how? S'far as I know, vampires can shoot but they can't score, if you know…"

"Basketball lingo, really? You don't even watch sports."

"Slayer!"

"Hey! Don't 'Slayer' me, right now, buster. This is as much your fault as it is mine…I think."

"You _think_? Who else's fault can it be?" She watched his eyes narrow.

"Oh no. Don't you _even_ dare. You _know _you're the only one." She saw the anger slowly recede from his eyes. "I don't know, Spike."

"How long?"

"How long what?"

"The…the baby…pregnancy…that…"

"Oh. Almost a month, I guess," she said quietly, sitting on the bed, resting her back against the headboard.

"That puts it at…"

"L.A. We had a lot of sex in L.A., Spike." It was then that realization hit her. "But we also…the…the claim. Spike. Oh my God."

"You're just now figuring that out?" he asked, the panic in his voice rising.

"Well, gee, I just found out that I'm knocked up with a supposedly sterile vampire's child. That wasn't _exactly _the first thing that crossed my mind. The claim…it has to be."

"You're really…you're pregnant?"

"Yeah," she said with a weak smile. "That explains the fainting and everything, I guess. It's early, but yay for being the Slayer, I get early symptoms." Her voice was thick with sarcasm. She caught his gaze following a trail from her breasts to her belly. "I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't believe it at first. I thought the doctor was crazy. So I picked up a test. Spike, I think…I think this is really happening."

"Unbelievable," he breathed, moving his hand to her flat stomach. "That's…that's really my little guy in there?" She smiled a little. _Leave it to the Big Bad to get all mushy about a baby_, she laughed to herself.

"I…I hope so. I mean, if I'm pregnant because of you, it better damn well be your kid. I'm not carrying anybody else's demon spawn."

"Oi! Don't call our baby demon spawn."

"Well…what if…Spike…what if it's…you know…"

"Evil?"

"Yeah," she grimaced.

"Guess we'll know when we hear the heartbeat. If it's got a heartbeat, it's got a soul, right?"

"If it's…yeah, I guess, if it's ours."

"We'll do one of those…those scan thingies, right?"

"Spike what if this isn't a normal pregnancy? I mean…it's already…not exactly normal."

"I don't know, luv. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

"When we get to it? What if this…what if it's not a baby? What if it's a thing growing inside of me, and it decides to rip its way out?" Spike had seen a lot of bloody awful things in his day, but even that image made him cringe.

"Would it make you feel better if we talked to you Watcher?"

"I don't know," she muttered. "I don't want anybody else to know right away. They'll think…well, probably the same things I'm thinking. I'm…I don't know what to do, Spike." He leaned back a little.

"You don't want it?"

"Spike…I…it's so sudden! I'm not saying I don't want it. I'm just saying that I never expected to ever have kids. When I decided to spend my life with you, I figured that the only kids in my life would be Dawn's or maybe Xander and Anya's. I never thought…this is just…it's so much." She felt tears sting her eyes again. "I'm afraid, Spike. I don't know what this is or what's going to happen."

"Hey, hey, look at me." He was kneeling in front of her now, holding her hands in his and looking up at her like he had last night. "We're in this together, ok? If this…if this isn't a baby…if it's something else…we'll take care of it, ok? I want you safe. You're more important to me than anything, alright? As much as I don't want to tell him, I think your Watcher's the only person we can go to that might have any idea about what's going on."

"Yeah," she sniffled. "I know. You're right."

"But, Buffy. If this is our baby…if this is really something we made together…wouldn't it be amazing to see?" he asked, his eyes full of pride, the look a first-time-father-to-be should have.

"Yeah. Yeah, it really would. I just…I don't know how to do this, Spike." He kissed her hand.

"Me neither. But this might be my only shot at being a dad. Don't know if I'll be a good one. Might be a lousy one. But it's my only shot." Buffy felt a lump growing in her throat. The idea of having Spike's child…it made her heart beat a little faster. In a good way. She never saw herself as mommy material, but the idea of carrying his child…it was scary, but again, not in a bad way. It wasn't end-of-the-world scary. It was…new page in the book of life scary, not knowing what might happen.

"We'll go to Giles," she said between sniffles. "He'll know who to send us to. If this is our baby…we…we're gonna do this together. And I mean together. You're _so_ not going to get out of diaper changing or…or rubbing my swollen feet, ok?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, pet."

***

"What's the matter? Is it Dawn?" Giles asked immediately after he'd come inside and closed the door. He saw Spike and Buffy sitting side-by-side on the couch. They both looked nervous, and he hadn't seen them look like this since they'd told him they were sleeping together. Good Lord, what could it be now? He could only imagine.

"Sit down, Giles," Buffy said calmly. "Everything's ok. Dawn's at school. She's fine."

"Then why did you call me over here? Why do you look like you have a secret that you know I'm not going to be happy about?"

"Well," Buffy said, swallowing hard, "because we do?" Giles felt his blood run cold. He sat down across the room from them. He eyed them both, keeping a special focus on Spike, who looked just as nervous as Buffy. Ok. What was going on?

"What's going on?"

"Giles, you know how with vampire claims, there could be…you know, a lot of different…uh, little extras?"

"Yes," he said slowly, bracing himself for the worst.

"Well, we think…we think we know what ours was." She looked at Spike and squeezed his hand.

"Go on."

"You have to swear you won't tell anybody else." Giles eyed her curiously. "Swear it, Giles."

"Alright. I…I swear. Now what's going on?"

"Now…before you…before you start yelling and cleaning your glasses, just remember that I'm really, really scared, and I just want to make sure everything's…normal."

"Good Lord, Buffy. What is it? What's happened?" Buffy braced herself for a blowup. Maybe she wouldn't have to worry about whether this child was an evil demon or her and Spike's love child. Maybe Giles would murder her before she had the chance to find out.

"I'm pregnant." Giles was frozen. He could have been a figure in an oil painting. A sculpture. He didn't even move to take off his glasses. "Giles?"

"If it makes any difference, we didn't have a bloody clue this could happen," Spike pointed out.

"I see."

"You see? You see? How do you see? We don't even see. We don't get it, Giles."

"No, I don't understand either. I don't understand at all."

"Giles, before you scream or throw things, just please, tell us how we can find out if this baby's, you know…our baby." Giles cleared his throat. There were a number of things he wanted to say to them right now, but the only thing he could think of was getting whatever that thing was out of his Slayer.

"I need to make a phone call." With that, he picked up the phone and walked out of the room, leaving them in silence. Spike was the first to speak.

"Went better than I thought."

"He's so pissed off. I mean, did you see that? He didn't even clean his glasses!"

"You told him not to."

"True, but the man can't help himself. He must be…oh God."

"S'alright, pet," he breathed. "Let's just wait and see what happens, alright?"

"When did you become the calm, level-headed one and I became the nutcase?"

"I think when I put that inside of you," he said, pointing to her belly.

"Yeah? Well, let's hope it was you and not some slimy, scaly demon that decided to make me its baby mama." Spike raised an eyebrow at her. "What?" Giles came walking back into the room. He handed Buffy the receiver and sat back down. The vampire and the Slayer looked at him with questioning glances. "So…what's the what?"

"As luck would have it, Wesley happens to be in the neighborhood."

"Wesley? Why him?" Buffy wondered, crinkling her nose at the memory of the stuffy younger Watcher.

"Wesley has experience in handling…ah…mystical pregnancies. He's agreed to see you."

"Ok, but this isn't gonna be like…a full…uh, visit is it? I mean, I don't want him putting his hands anywhere near my…"

"You heard her," Spike agreed with a nod.

"He's just going to run a scan and take a sample of your blood and see if he can extract some amniotic fluid. With the pregnancy in such early stages, it might be impossible at this point."

"But he'll be able to tell us if our baby's, you know, a baby?"

"Yes, if all goes well," Giles said with a nod.

"Ok," Buffy agreed with a sharp exhalation of breath. "When?"

"He's going to meet us at a doctor's office downtown in thirty minutes. They owe him a favor there, it seems. They won't ask questions."

"Wait a minute," Spike pointed out. "I wanna be there."

"I'll call you as soon as I find out anything," Buffy assured him. She grabbed her purse and cell phone and turned to Giles. "Alright. Let's go."

***

"What do you mean, inconclusive?" Giles asked, glaring at the younger man.

"It's too early to tell, honestly. But I'm fairly certain this isn't a demon pregnancy. If it was, she would most likely have progressed much further than this. You say you're nearly 4 weeks?"

"Yeah," Buffy said quietly. "That's what the doctor said, and that's when the claim happened, so…I'm guessing so."

"I can come back at the beginning of February and run more tests, but if the pregnancy continues to progress at a normal pace, then you can at least be certain that you're the mother and not the host. Most host pregnancies tend to be over quite quickly." He shuddered at the thought of Cordelia's rapid demon pregnancy.

"Ok," Buffy said quietly, feeling somewhat relieved, but scared stiff at the prospect of being in charge of a tiny human being. "So, it's mine…as far as you can tell?"

"You're healthy."

"Good," Buffy said slowly.

"If it'll help you sleep better at night, remember this. Of all the mystical pregnancies that have progressed at normal human gestation, the result has been the birth of a healthy _human _child."

"So…you don't think it'll be born all fangy?"

"I highly doubt it." He bit his tongue, knowing it would be a bad idea to let slip the fact that not only was there a child born to a vampire, but he was human and born to two vampires. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. Still, I'll return later and follow up."

"Thank you for your time," Giles said with a nod. He handed Wesley an unmarked envelope. "For your discretion."

"I won't be telling anyone of this."

"Not even Angel?" Buffy wondered. "I mean, you're not exactly a doctor or anything, but doesn't that confidentiality thingy still hold true?"

"I won't tell a soul," he assured her.

"Good," Buffy said, breathing a heavy sigh of relief. "If he knew, he'd just want to get involved. Considering Spike's the father, I don't think he'll be on the side of keeping this in me." She put her hand over her stomach. "It's not his problem."

"I understand," Wesley agreed. "I really must go."

"Right. Thanks, Wes." Wesley nodded, and he left Buffy and Giles alone in the room. Buffy sighed heavily and looked up at her Watcher.

"So, we can rule out scary soul-sucking parasite," she said with on a positive note. "When he said what he said, I knew…Giles, this baby's human. I can feel it." Giles watched her warily.

"Still, we must ere on the side of caution. If anything out of the ordinary happens in the next few weeks, you must tell me."

"I will. But you have to keep your word. Don't tell anybody. _Anybody_."

"Don't worry, I won't say a word. However, I'll be keeping an eye on you. If this…this pregnancy begins to show any signs of harming you, we must act quickly." Buffy felt her heart freeze in her chest, but she said nothing. All they could do was wait and hope that everything turned out normally. Though, she couldn't help but wonder if Giles would prefer the opposite. Having the seed of Spike growing inside of his Slayer was probably the last thing he'd ever hoped for.

***

The day had dwindled down into a quiet evening, and Spike sat on the couch, while Buffy lay with her head in his lap. They were watching something on TV, though neither one of them really had their minds on the show. Spike couldn't help but think about this child he was going to have with Buffy. So the younger Watcher was pretty sure it was human. That was a good sign, right? Buffy had seemed to think so. While there was still the possibility that some other force had implanted this seed inside of her during their claim, there was also the possibility that this child was a product of their claim, and had they not made their claim at the exact moment they had, the child might not have existed. If that was the case, it was kind of a miracle.

"You realize I can tell you exactly what our baby is the minute I hear it's heart beating," Spike pointed out, stroking her hair.

"That's what I'm counting on. Normal heartbeat means normal baby. Means we're gonna have to do a lot of damage control so this doesn't get out. If people hear a Slayer and a vampire made a baby…" She frowned. "And besides that. What kind of parents are we gonna be? I mean, I can't even get Dawn to clean her room. What if our kid is a messy, mean, half-demon who…who won't do its homework?"

"Don't think like that, pet."

"Think like what?" Dawn asked, walking into the room with a bowl of popcorn.

"Hey Dawnie," Buffy said with a smile. "Finished your homework?"

"Yeah," Dawn muttered. "Is there any way to know for sure if my Pre-Cal teacher's a demon? 'Cause I'm pretty sure he's evil."

"Nah, I think being evil just comes with the territory in Sunnydale." She glanced at Spike and then at Dawn.

"Did you brush your teeth?"

"What?"

"You know. You got to the dentist next week. Want to make sure they're extra clean. And make sure you're flossing."

"Ok, considering you're my older sister, you're pretty much always weird, but what's with the extra helping of bizarro tonight?"

"I just…wanna make sure you have healthy teeth."

"Yeah, well they're my teeth."

"And I'm paying for them to stay healthy!" Buffy pointed out. "Go floss, now. You'll be in _so_ much trouble if I have to pay for fillings or…or root canals." Dawn rolled her eyes and stood up. She glanced at Spike.

"Good luck with _that_," she muttered, heading out of the room. Buffy turned to Spike.

"How was that?"

"I'm impressed, Slayer. Think you're gonna make a real good mum."

* * *

_Author's Note: Hope you guys are still enjoying the story! Let me know what you thought!_


	37. Pitter Patters

Chapter 37: Pitter Patters

Buffy woke on her birthday half-expecting to see her belly swollen to twice its size, but to her relief, she was still as thin as she was yesterday. Spike was sleeping soundly at her side. She smiled a little and she stretched, feeling better than she had felt the past several mornings. She was sure she'd start getting morning sickness anytime.

She picked up her copy of a pregnancy book, which she'd secretly bought yesterday. Today, she was four weeks pregnant. She turned to that section of the book.

"Pregnancy tests can detect pregnancy now…yeah, way ahead of ya," she muttered. "Breast tenderness." She sighed. Yeah, that too. With reluctant curiosity, she turned a few weeks ahead to see what she had to look forward to, barring any complications should the baby actually turn out to be a demon. But, before she could read anything, a hand snatched the book away. "Hey! I was reading that!"

"Happy Birthday, luv." He leaned in, pressing his lips softly against hers. She smiled when he pulled away.

"Thanks."

"4 weeks today, right?"

"Yeah," she said, laughing softly. He frowned and looked as if he was trying to recall something.

"Book said the baby's heart can sometimes be detected at five weeks, but sometimes as early as four." Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"You read that?"

"Woke up last night to go out for a smoke. Thought I'd do a little light reading. Guess what happens next week?"

"Whoa," she laughed. "I'll read for myself, thanks." She smiled at him. He placed his head against her belly. "What're you doing?"

"Shh." She gently ran her fingers through his hair and relaxed against her pillow. It wasn't long before she felt his shoulders shake against her, and he let out a chuckle.

"What?"

"I hear it, Buffy."

"What? You do?"

"Just barely. Your heartbeat's so loud, I can barely hear it, but it's there. It's a lot faster." He smiled and looked up at her. "Our girl's got a soul."

"Girl? And…you know, I've been thinking about it. Demons have hearts too."

"Yeah, but demon heartbeats sound different than a human's. Mark my word, that's our baby in there. But by all means, wait for Watcher Jr. to tell you." He shrugged his shoulders. Buffy couldn't help but smile.

"You're not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?"

"Maybe partly, but it's also true."

"And did our tiny baby who, I don't think even has a mouth yet, tell you that she's a girl?"

"Oh, that? That's just a man's intuition."

"Women have intuition. Men just have…" Spike raised an eyebrow. "Shut up."

"What, you want a boy?"

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'm having _anything_ at all."

"You are? How about me? At least your goods are still working. Mine aren't supposed to…"

"They work just fine, Spike. Trust me." Spike rested his head against her stomach again, and Buffy secretly wished she could hear what he heard. He chuckled. "What? Did she tell you a joke or something?"

"No, your stomach's growling."

"Oh," she laughed. She started to get up.

"Ah, ah," he said, gently pushing her back. "It's your birthday. You don't cook today."

"Oh, I'm liking today better and better."

"Stay put. What do you want?"

"Mmm…strawberries and bananas."

"That's all?"

"Yeah. Oh, and orange juice. With pulp."

"I'll be back."

"'Kay." Buffy smiled and stretched out in bed. She placed her hand on her stomach, feeling the butterflies swarming there. She had to call someone. Giles. She quickly grabbed her phone off the nightstand and dialed Giles' number. After one and a half rings, he answered.

"Hello?"

"Giles!" Buffy chirped.

"Buffy? Is something wrong?"

"No. Geez, you expect doom and gloom with every phone call."

"Well, I haven't exactly received a call worth celebrating recently." She decided to ignore those words.

"Spike heard the heartbeat."

"He what?"

"He heard the baby's heartbeat. It's got a heartbeat. A soul."

"Oh…I see. There's still the matter of it being human…"

"Spike says there's a difference in the heartbeats. Demons have different heartbeats."

"Yes, there is a slight difference."

"Giles, I think it's safe to say this baby's human. I mean, we know it's not trying to kill me. I'm not, you know, getting bigger by the day. The baby has a pulse."

"All signs would indicate that it's human, yes," Giles said uncertainly.

"Why do you sound so disappointed?"

"I'm not disappointed. I'm only thinking cautiously." Buffy sighed heavily.

"Giles, I know you're worried, but stop, ok? I feel fine. I'm a little freaked, still, but I don't feel like there's some demon spawn trying to claw its way out of me."

"Buffy, I just want you to be careful."

"Giles, I _am_ being careful. I'm completely full of care." She sighed. "You're coming over tonight, right?"

"Of course. Buffy, I don't mean to upset you."

"You didn't. I know you're worried about me, but you don't have to be. I'm fine. And the baby's fine. And it's human."

"Wesley will be in town in a few more weeks, and he'll be able to tell you for certain."

"Good. But I already know. It'll be nice to have confirmation though. I have to go, Giles. See you later."

"Alright. Happy Birthday, Buffy."

"Thanks. Bye." She hung up and frowned. Then, biting her lower lip, she picked up the phone again and dialed a different number.

"Hello?"

"Wesley, it's Buffy. Is it ok to talk?"

"Of course. I'm alone."

"Good. I have news. Spike heard the baby's heartbeat today."

"He heard…"

"Super vampire hearing, remember?"

"Of course," Wesley said, dumbfounded. "He heard a heartbeat? What did he say?"

"He said it was definitely human. Apparently there's a little difference in the way a human's heart beats compared to a demon."

"Just a slight difference, and Spike having had plenty of experience with demons in the past, he should know. You trust him?"

"Huh? Of course I trust him, Wes."

"Right. Well, I'll still come by to follow up, and if the tests come back that the child is human, then you should probably proceed with going to a regular obstetrician. I really only have knowledge in determining origins of pregnancies."

"Well, yeah. I wasn't gonna drive to L.A. to have you look at my…stuff every month anyway." She cleared her throat. "Thanks for your help, Wesley. You…you didn't tell Angel, did you?"

"Of course not. Angel has his own…things to deal with right now."

"He's ok, isn't he?"

"Everything's fine, Buffy. No need to worry. I'll see you in a few weeks."

"Ok. Thanks, Wes." She hung up and placed her hand on her stomach. "I know Spike's right. I know you're human. I just don't know how we're gonna do this." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "We'll make it work."

***

"What'd you get her?" Willow asked as she poured over books at the Magic Box.

"I had trouble trying to buy for her this year. I mean, I almost feel like we should get her things that Spike would want too. I mean, it's like they're married," Xander said quietly, tapping his fingers on the table.

"They're not married," Anya pointed out. "Not legally."

"But mystically," Tara said with a gentle shrug, "they sort of are."

"Either way, Buffy's birthday. Not Spike's. I got her that flowy peasant top she was eyeing at the mall," Willow pointed out with a smile.

"I got her some bath salts. Every girl likes to feel pampered and womanly," Anya suggested. "Oh, and I slipped in some sensual oils for when she has sex with Spike." Dawn, who was in the back checking out a book she probably wasn't supposed to be looking at, let out a laugh. "What? They have sex a lot. It's natural. Xander and I have lots of sex. I read in magazines that sometimes people stop having sex after they're married. Xander, we're getting married in two weeks. We'll still have lots of sex, right?"

"So, Tara! What'd you get the Buffster?" Xander asked, anxiously trying to stop his fiancée from speaking any further.

"Um…I picked up some scented candles. At least she'll have something to light when she's relaxing with Anya's bath salts."

"What do you think Spike's giving her?" Dawn wondered, coming up to the table. "He wouldn't tell me anything."

"I'm sure he's giving her something right now," Anya pointed out. Xander made a face.

"Sweetie, when did you turn into a mind-in-the-gutter sixteen-year-old boy?" Anya shrugged. When the door to the training room opened, and Giles came out with Dana, everyone turned their attention toward them.

"How goes the training?" Dawn wondered.

"Good. Giles just helped me balance one handed on the Pommel horse." She shook out her wrist. "Kinda hurts."

"Yeah…that always hurts, you know, if you're not used to it," Xander offered, obviously having no idea what that felt like. His balance was less than stellar.

All eyes turned to the front door when the bell rang, and in stepped an uptight looking fellow clad in something that could only be described as Watcher Wear.

"May I help you?" Giles asked from across the room.

"My name is Dr. Andrew Ownes. Mr. Travers sent me." Everyone glanced at Giles for verification.

"I know who you are," he said slowly, not taking his eyes off the man. "You work for the council. You're a psychiatrist." Dana immediately tensed.

"Not to worry, Dana. Mr. Travers sent me here especially for you."

"I'm fine," she bit out quickly.

"Yes, well he's only worried that all of your needs aren't being met. He sent me to talk to you. It's a free service for you, Miss." Everyone glanced at each other with surprise. "Mr. Travers asked that I tell you that it might be better to talk to somebody about your memories."

"Dana, you don't have to go with him," Giles assured him. She was still tense in the shoulders, but she turned to her Watcher.

"It's ok, Giles. I think…maybe it'll help?" Giles cleared his throat and nodded.

"You can use the training room. Buffy won't be coming in today." Dr. Owens nodded his thanks, and he headed into the back with a nervous Dana. When the door closed, Xander spoke for the group.

"Did anybody else just get the ultimate wiggins from that guy?"

***

Later in the afternoon, Buffy came down the stairs to find Spike watching Passions on the TV. She rolled her eyes but moved to sit next to him.

"Anyone call while I was in the shower?" Spike knew who she was asking about, and he hated breaking the news to her.

"Sorry, pet. Nobody's called."

"Oh. It's ok." She really sucked at hiding her disappointment.

"Day's still young, pet."

"No. It's ok, really. My Dad's got other things to do, you know?"

"No, I don't know. He can take time out of his bloody schedule to call his daughter." He started to get up and move toward the phone.

"Uh, what are you doing?"

"I'm gonna call him and give him a piece of my mind."

"Spike, step away from the phone." She tugged him back down onto the couch with her. "I can't make my dad have a relationship with me. It's ok. Really."

"No it's not." Buffy just shrugged her shoulders.

"We need to come up with a plan."

"What kind've plan?"

"They're going to be shoving drinks at me all night."

"Easy. I'll drink 'em for you."

"Spike."

"Right. Just tell 'em you're not feeling right. They can't force a sick girl to drink something that's gonna make her sicker."

"True. Still. They're gonna know something's up, and I'm not ready to tell them about the baby. It's _way _too soon, and I kinda wanna get used to the idea of being pregnant before my friends have to."

"I'm sure the lot of 'em'll have enough alcohol in the by the end of the night that they won't remember you not drinking."

"You think?"

"We'll play a drinking game." He thought for a minute. "Truth or dare. If you don't do the dare, you have to take a drink."

"That's so tenth grade." She smiled. "I love it. Wait. How do I get out of it?"

"You just ask for truths all night."

"Right, and be subjected to your lame-ass questions?"

"Oi!"

"Oh, sorry. I mean your horribly embarrassing questions about our sex life that I would_ never _answer in front of my friends? Maybe you _are _evil."

"Give me a little credit, pet. Wouldn't do that to the mother of my child."

"Shyeah," she scoffed, but she leaned in to kiss him. "I'm gonna stop by the magic shop. Are you low on pig's blood?"

"I got enough to get me through the week." Buffy paused.

"You know something? We've probably got the grossest grocery list ever." She made a face, but he pulled her in to kiss her tenderly.

"You know, we don't _have_ to have people over," he suggested. "I could give you your birthday present right here…right now." Buffy's eyes sparkled.

"That's tempting. What is it?"

"That was innuendo, pet."

"Duh," she laughed. "No, it'll be nice to have everyone over. You can give me _that_ present after everyone's passed out. How about that? That is…if you can still stand."

"I'll have you know I can hold my alcohol like a…"

"Uh huh," Buffy muttered. Then a devilish glint appeared in her eyes.

"What's that look for, Slayer? What are you thinking?"

"Oh, I'm thinking about having a little fun of my own."

"And what fun do you have in mind?" He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side.

"Watching you squirm all night without any social lubricant."

"What?" As much as he hated to admit it, he felt his cock twinge a little at the word 'lubricant.' Maybe it was the suggestive bravatto in her voice when she said it.

"No drinking. If I can't have a drink on my twenty first birthday, you have to be supportive-boyfriend guy."

"Oh, come on, pet. You can't throw me in there with the lot of them and expect me not to need a good, stiff drink."

"If you take one drink, that's the only thing that's gonna be stiff tonight." She cocked her own eyebrow, and he shuddered.

"You know, I think _you're _the evil one."

"Oh, but I have an excuse for the next eight months."

"Bloody hell." She smiled wickedly at him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I love you. Just remember that when I'm screaming at you for…you know, exisiting." Spike seemed up to the challenge, and he tightened his hold on her.

"I think I can take it. I've been through a lot in my hundred-twenty-eight years. I think I can take a few months of a moody Slayer. Hell, I've already taken, what, five years?" She pushed him away in mock offense.

"Oh, now you're asking for it."

"What are you gonna do?"

"Enjoy _every _minute of my birthday." She winked at him and tugged him toward the stairs.

"Thought you were going out."

"Are you gonna distract me or not?"

"Oh, good plan." With that, he scooped her up in his arms and rushed her up the stairs.

* * *

_Let me know what you thought of the chapter, guys! Thanks!_


	38. Truth or Dare

Chapter 38: Truth or Dare

It was just a small gathering at the Summers' home that night. Buffy was seated comfortably on Spike's lap on the couch to make room for others to sit. Dawn was next to her, and Giles sat on the end. Xander, Anya, Willow, and Tara were seated around the coffee table with Dana.

"Well, that's everything then," Buffy said with a nod, eyes scouring over her presents. She tried to hide the disappointment in her voice that she hadn't gotten one from Spike. Maybe he really had been serious when he'd said he wouldn't get her anything if she didn't tell him.

"Wait a minute," Dawn spoke up. "Where's Spike's present?" Buffy snapped her attention to her sister.

"Dawn, it's ok. He didn't have to…"

"You mean this?" Spike pulled something out of his coat pocket. It was a little brown bag, nothing fancy. Buffy eyed him.

"Look, Buffy. He made you a sack lunch," Xander teased. Buffy rolled her eyes and grabbed the bag from Spike.

"What did you do?" She shook the bag. There was something clunking around in the bottom of it. Spike couldn't help but smile at the curiosity in her eyes.

"Just open it, pet." Everyone looked around expectantly. Spike hadn't told a soul, and Dawn felt a little left out that he hadn't even talked to her about what he was getting for her sister? What if it sucked big time and he was in the doghouse? Did he even think about that?

Buffy turned the bag over, and into her hand fell a little black box, similar to the one she'd received at Christmas time. Only, this one was smaller, and it looked just like the ones guys always pulled out when they proposed marriage. Only she and Spike couldn't get married. So it couldn't be a ring. Could it?

Her eyes widened, and she looked at Spike, lips parted slightly.

"Spike…"

"If you're that pleased by the outside, you won't believe your eyes when you open it," he urged. Buffy tried to swallow, but her throat had gone dry.

The rest of the room was thick with silence, and all eyes were on the little box in Buffy's hand. She delicately pried the lid open, and her eyes widened even more at what was inside.

"Oh my God," Dawn spoke, leaning over to check out the sparkly diamond.

"Hey, that's my line," Buffy choked out, realizing she was forcing back tears. "Spike? How did you…"

"Did a favor for Clem." He caught the skeptical glances of a few of Buffy's pals. "And no, it wasn't anything evil. He owed me for a couple favors in the past."

"Wow," Buffy breathed. "It's…what is it?"

"It's a ring," he nodded.

"Spike," she murmured, her gaze locking into his.

"I figure…we belong to each other now. Maybe we can't get married…but wearing this shows you belong to someone." He cleared his throat and made a grab for the box. "But if you don't want it…"

"Shut up!" she half-laughed, swatting his hand away. She took the ring out of the box and slid it onto her ring finger. "I love it, Spike. Thank you." After thanking him with words, she leaned in to press her lips against his. Everyone looked away a tad uncomfortably, but Anya was the first to speak up.

"That was so romantic! When do we get to drink?"

***

"I can't believe you," Buffy whispered when she'd finally managed to tug Spike into the empty kitchen.

"You really like it?"

"Like it? I love it! I can't believe…it's…wow." She sighed heavily and tugged on the lapels of his coat, bringing him close so she could kiss him tenderly. Finally, she rested her forehead against his. "I love it, Spike. I love you." She leaned back a little to study him. They'd come a long way since they'd first met. They'd gone from sworn enemies out to kill each other to an expectant mom and dad who couldn't keep their hands off of each other. It was amazing the kind of man he'd become.

"I love you," he murmured, crashing his lips down on hers, snaking his arms around her waist. After a few moments, he pulled back. "Think your friends would notice if I stole the birthday girl?"

"I think they might."

"Come on! The game's about to start!" Dawn called from the living room.

"You're _not _playing!" Buffy protested.

"You suck!" Dawn called back. Buffy giggled when Spike's hand grazed her ass, and she pulled out of his embrace.

"C'mon." They headed back into the living room where the group had cleared out the coffee table. Everyone sat in a circle, as if to play Spin-the-Bottle. But there was no bottle. Only about a dozen bottles of different liquor and plenty of shot glasses to go around.

"So what are the rules again?" Xander asked.

"Goes like this," Spike piped in. "You have two choices. Truth or Dare. You take a dare and don't go through with it? Take a shot. You pick a truth and we don't believe you or you refuse to answer? Take a shot."

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Buffy protested, grabbing his arm, squeezing it a little. Her gaze warned him that this could go badly for them. But it was then that she realized that this was going to be his way of getting some absolute truth out of her. She wouldn't lie, because then she'd have to drink, and she couldn't drink because of the baby.

"You ass," she muttered under her breath. He snickered. "You're so gonna get it later, you know that, right?"

"I'm counting on it." His voice was laced with desire, and she felt a shiver run up her spine.

"Come on, Buff," Xander called out. "Birthday girl gets to go first."

Buffy and Spike settled down in the circle, and Spike cleared his throat.

"First things first, blue bottle is off limits to anyone but the birthday girl. Buffy, you can only drink from the blue bottle."

"Isn't that like…really potent vodka?" Tara asked, picking the bottle up. She started to sniff it, but Spike whisked it out of her hands.

"Gotta go all out on your twenty-first."

"Aw, nothing says 'happy birthday, honey' like getting your girlfriend all trashed." Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Are you even old enough to drink yet, Harris? Rosenberg?"

"I'm over eleven hundred years old," Anya said with a raised hand.

"You in, old man?" Spike asked, looking at Giles.

"Excuse me, but you're three times my age!"

"Try about twice. Oh, c'mon, Rupert," Spike chuckled, "you don't expect me to believe you're in your forties, do you?" Giles shot him a glance, but Spike turned his attention to the rest of the group.

"Ready?"

"This sucks," Dawn pointed out. Everyone turned to her. "What? I just wanted to point out the suck factor."

"You know what?" Willow asked. "I don't think I wanna play. Wanna help me cut the cake, Dawnie?"

"You don't have to do that for me," Dawn said with a shrug.

"Come on. I don't feel like drinking."

"I'll help," Tara offered, not wanting to be asked any questions she didn't feel comfortable answering.

"Me too," Dana offered, getting up out of the circle and heading into the kitchen with the rest.

"Wankers," Spike muttered. "Alright then. Guess it's just us." The circle tightened in.

"Ok. I'm starting," Buffy pointed out, grabbing the blue bottle and keeping it close. She eyed Spike. "Truth or Dare."

"Truth," he scoffed.

"Wait," Buffy pointed out. "I think we need a new rule." She suddenly remembered what she'd said to Spike earlier about drinking.

"What's that?"

"Spike doesn't get to drink."

"What?" Spike asked. Buffy glared at him.

"Oh, come on. If I have to drink the…uh…hard stuff, you don't get to drink anything."

"Oh, right," Spike muttered. "Save me to pull your hair back for you when you're praying to the porcelain god, right?"

"Something like that," she said with a snicker.

"I like this. Spike without alcohol in an alcohol-friendly environment," Xander nodded. "So…instead of drinking, what should we make him do? Please tell me it involves ingesting something really gross." Xander was practically filled with glee. Buffy thought for a moment. If Spike could play this little game to get some solid truths out of her, she could…ah hah!

"If we don't believe him, he's got to toss out one cigarette."

"Oh, come on! I've only got one bloody pack…and not many left in it."

"Then it should be a quick game for you." She smiled. "Smoking is a nasty habit, sweetie." Despite the fact that he should probably be pissed off, it was only turning him on to know that she was matching him tit for tat. If he played by her new rules, he might just get a little tit and tat later on.

"Fine," he agreed, tossing his crinkled pack of cigarettes into the circle. "Game on, Slayer."

***

Of course, everyone had at first ganged up on Spike, and his cigarettes were gone in no time. Buffy had even stuck them in a glass of water to ruin them, for good measure. Now, the real fun was starting, and he was ready to ask his first question to his minxy little Slayer.

"Alright, pet. You asked for it."

"Come on, Spike. Whattya got?"

"Truth. Or. Dare."

"Truth," she smiled.

"Where's the kinkiest place you've ever done the nasty?"

"What?!" Buffy barked. "No way in Hell!"

"Drink up, Buffster," Xander grinned.

"It's the rule. Plus, it's your twenty-first. You should _want_ to drink, right?" Anya asked. Buffy rolled her eyes. What was she supposed to do? Pretend that it made her sick? But, when she brought the bottle to her lips, she realized that inside was nothing more than water. Her eyes met Spike's, and he smirked. She took a large swig, and then smiled at him.

"Whoa, slow down there, killer," Xander offered. "Let the rest of us catch up."

"Spike, Truth or Dare?"

"Out of cigs, pet. What makes you think I'll tell you the truth?"

"Because your night could end one of two ways. With the best sex you've ever had, or with and itchy old blanket in the basement to keep you company."

"I think I need a drink," Giles muttered, reaching for a bottle and taking a swig out of turn.

"Right then. Truth." Buffy eyed him, trying to come up with something _really _good.

"How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

"Oh, this oughtta be good," Xander snickered.

"Don't think I…"

"I would reconsider your answers carefully, Mr. _Pratt_. You know your options." Spike grumbled.

"Fine. Twenty seven. Are you happy?" All eyes widened, and Xander was the first to let out a laugh.

"You're kidding, right? No, you can't be lying. I mean, if you were lying, you'd say seventeen or…"

"Sod off, Mr. I Lost My Virginity to a Psycho Slayer."

"Buffy! You told him?" Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

"Everybody kind of knows, sweetie," Anya pointed out. "Besides, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, she wasn't as good as me, right? Right?!"

"Right," Xander assured her, finding her need for instant validation charming.

"Seriously?" Buffy asked. "Twenty-seven?"

"Yeah. With Dru after she turned me. What of it?" Spike asked, clearly wishing he could find a grave to crawl into right about now.

"You mean, you never had sex when you were human? Ever?" Anya asked.

"Wasn't exactly the man of the world that I am now, if that's what you're asking."

"Twenty-seven? That's…that's lame, Spike."

"If you want to play that card, I've got a whole deck waiting for you, Harris."

"We're past that. Giles, how old were you?" Anya wondered.

"It's not my turn," Giles pointed out.

"Oh. Buffy? Do you accept Spike's answer."

"Uh…yeah," Buffy said slowly, still stunned that she'd lost her virginity a full ten years younger than Spike had been when he'd lost his.

"Right then," Spike growled, eyeing Buffy. But, instead of asking her, he turned to Giles. "Rupert. Truth or dare?"

"Why am I playing?"

"You already took a shot. You're in it to win it now, Watcher."

"Fine. Truth."

"Same question."

"Sixteen."

"What?" Xander asked, shocked and outraged. "No way!"

"Sweetie, nobody finds you inadequate. I find you charming, and I really want to have sex with you right now," Anya assured him, patting his knee.

"Way to go, Rupert," Spike snickered. "Wouldn't have thought you'd have it in you? Wait. Or did you. Think he might be lying."

"I'm not lying, but I think I'd like that shot right about now." Giles took another shot of something that smelled like rubbing alcohol. "Somebody can take my turn. I think I'd rather not hear anymore about all of your…affairs."

"Aw, come on, Giles," Buffy pouted. "It's my birthday."

"No thank you," Giles said, shaking his head. "You're all young enough to be my children." He shot Spike a look. "Except you. You could be my great-grandfather."

"Hey, it could be worse. You could have lost your virginity when you were twenty-seven. And dead," Anya pointed out with a nod. She smiled.

"Oh, come off it," Spike spat, longing to drown out the fact that he'd actually answered that question. "Fine. Since the Watcher quits, I get another go."

"How's that fair?" Buffy wondered.

"Dunno. Just is. Buffy. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Why isn't anyone taking a dare? I think Buffy should drink just for not playing the fun way."

"I agree with Anya. Drink up, Buff." Buffy shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her water, making a face for effect.

"Anyway," Buffy continued. "Truth me, Spike."

"Alright, _Slayer_," he murmured. "Tell me, what's your favorite thing about me? And don't get mushy on me. What really turns you on, and why?" Buffy's jaw dropped.

"Can I throw up now?" Xander asked.

"I wanna know," Anya encouraged. "If you say 'penis,' that's boring." Suddenly, Buffy wished she were drunk. Very drunk. At least then she wouldn't have to be responsible for her words. Then again, her friends thought she already had some alcohol in her system. Oh, this could get good. Maybe if she got him hot and bothered enough, he'd end this stupid game and take her upstairs. She felt herself getting wet at the concept.

"Ok." She smiled, wetting her lips a little. "Your hands."

"I call boring," Anya protested.

"What about my hands?" She smiled devilishly at him.

"I like the way they make me feel when they're all over me."

"Whoa. Not drunk enough for this yet." Xander quickly took another shot.

"I like the way they go right where I need them the most without having to ask…most of the time." Spike felt something stirring in his jeans, and he swallowed hard.

"Um…g…good…uh…your turn." Willow and Dawn came marching into the room.

"Who wants cake?"

***

Two hours, half-a-cake, and several drunk Scoobies later, Buffy was ready to go to bed, and she didn't want to sleep.

Willow and Tara had driven Dana home and then come back to hang out for a while longer, but they'd soon passed out asleep on the floor. Dawn was sleeping in the armchair, and Giles, trashed beyond belief, was sleeping with his head resting against the couch. Anya and Xander had held their own for quite some time until they'd disappeared down into the basement for what could only be described as the loudest sex Buffy had ever heard from anyone other than her and Spike.

"Truth or dare, luv."

"They're all sleeping."

"I know. Truth or dare." She rolled her eyes.

"Truth."

"What do you wanna do to me right now?" he wondered. Buffy's lips parted, and she grinned. She leaned in close, her lips a breath apart from his.

"I wanna fuck your brains out." She reached down, cupping the bulge in his jeans, and he groaned against her lips.

"Oh fuck, Buffy." She smiled and stood up. Looking around to make sure everyone was still asleep, she turned out the light and rushed out of the room. "Where are you…"

"Come on. I know it's my birthday and everything," she whispered from the staircase, "but in about ten seconds, there's gonna be a present waiting for you on our bed that needs unwrapping." With that, she dashed up the stairs. Spike sat there, dumbfounded and hard as a rock for about two-point-three seconds, and then he made a mad dash for the stairs.

He caught up with her on the landing, pulling her to him with one arm and pressing her back against the wall. His lips crashed against hers, and his free hand moved down her side, caressing the side of her breast. She moaned against him and tasted his lips with her tongue. She lifted one leg, draping it over his hip, and he ground against her.

"Oh…fuck," she murmured. "Yeah…Spike…" He buried his face in her hair, murmuring little nasties that got her wetter by the second. She framed his face with her hands and pulled him to her for a bruising kiss, and she gave his lower lip a firm but gentle bite. With a wicked gleam in her eyes, she pulled him up the rest of the steps and into her bedroom. She slammed him against it, kissing him hard again, and he moaned as her hands fumbled with his belt and pulled it from the loops. Her hot little hands caressed his abs before helping him out of his shirt.

"Thought I was unwrapping you, kitten."

"Just helping things along," she murmured, dipping down to take a nipple into her mouth; giving it a little bite.

"Bloody hell, woman!" She smiled up at him and went to her knees. Her hands yanked at his pants, and his cock sprang out. She licked her lips and took it firmly in her hand, wrapping her long fingers around it. His head slammed back against the door the minute her mouth enveloped his tip. "Oh…so…good."

"Mmm," she hummed, taking him in as far as she could before rolling back up, circling his tip with her tongue.

"Not complaining here, luv, but…is this really what you…oh fuck…want for your birthday?" She grinned up at him.

"Not exactly." She stood, and before he knew what hit him, she was tossing him across the room and into her bed. He landed square in the middle and looked up at her with surprise.

"Again, not complaining…but should you really be tossing blokes around in your condition?" Buffy said nothing and leaped onto him, straddling his naked waist. She ground her crotch against him and he felt like he was going to come right then and there. "Alright, you're asking for it." She squealed as he took hold of her and flipped her onto her back. Too eager to get her out of her clothes, he tore her shirt in the process of helping her out of it. "Sorry."

"S'alright," she assured him. "I'll be too fat to wear it in a couple months." She pulled him down on her again, kissing him breathlessly, but he found enough restraint to pull back and work on divesting her of her jeans. She never took her eyes off of him as she removed her bra and tossed it aside. Her matching pink, lacy underwear came next, and while Spike was down there, Buffy draped a leg over his shoulder, opening herself up to him. "Present's open. Whatcha wanna do with it?"

Spike couldn't suppress the growl that came from deep within, and Buffy moaned softly, that primal sound making her even wetter. Her scent invaded his nostrils, and his mouth watered. It was all he could do to force back the demon trying to emerge.

"You're the perfect woman, you realize?" Buffy didn't have time to respond, because as soon as the words left his mouth, he was drinking her in, his tongue probing the entrance of her hot little channel.

Her hands moved into his hair, and she pulled a little, which made him moan. She tasted like heaven, and for a moment, he wondered if this was what dying peacefully felt like.

"Spike," she mewled. "Oh my God…please…I have to…"

"It's alright, kitten. I've got what you need." He plunged two fingers into her, curling them up to stroke the spot that made her cry out, which she did. She arched her back, her mouth opening in a gasp, and as he pumped his fingers in and out of her, he suckled on her swollen clit until he felt her stiffen and quiver.

"Spike!" she cried out. Smiling proudly up at her, he rested his head on her belly.

"Happy birthday, pet." He crawled up her body, his cock hard and straining against her thighs. She reached down, stroking him a few times before she let go and felt him slide inside of her.

"Ahh…." She squeezed her eyes shut, and Spike's mouth moved to the hollow of her throat. Her pulse pounded against his lips, and his mouth watered some more. As much as he wanted to drink from her, he knew the little bit inside of her needed that blood more than he did.

"God, you're so tight," he groaned into her neck, as she tilted her hips toward him, and he began to fuck her in slow, even strokes. Those hands of his that she loved so much bunched into her hair, pulling her head up towards his so he could kiss her; drink her in. Her tongue met his in a tangled dance, while their bodies moved in a rhythm of their very own.

"Oh _God_!" she cried out. "Unh…" Her hands, at first running smooth along his back, turned to claws, and she was digging in, which spurred him on. "Please…oh fuck. Faster. Need you…need you." He quickened the pace, and his hands moved to grip her hips. He raised himself up a little getting on his knees while her legs spread out beside him, and he stared down at her as he fucked her. The way their bodies moved together…it was indescribable.

"So…bloody…perfect," he cringed out through gritted teeth. Her back arched again, and she gasped for breath, her hands moving down her breasts before reaching out to him.

"Need you closer," she murmured. "Come back here." He leaned into her, pressing his mouth to hers, tasting the faint tinge of cherry from her lip gloss. He smiled against her mouth. Everything about her was perfection to him.

She opened her eyes, looking up into those soulful blue ones, seeing more love than she'd ever thought she could see one person carry for another. Her mouth opened for more breath, and she smiled up at him. If he'd had a breath in his body, she'd have taken it away just then. So stunning, sweat beading at her brow, skin glowing in the dim light of the room, gaze drinking him in; loving him.

And just like that, she closed her eyes again, and he rode out her orgasm, trying to delay his own until the last possible moment, but when her muscles continued to spasm around him, he lost control and buried his scream against her throat when he came.

"God I love you. Love everything about you," he murmured as she struggled to find her breath. He lay very still atop her; still buried deep inside of her. "Love these lips." He kissed her. "Love this nose." He nibbled it for a moment, getting raspy giggle from her. "Love your eyes." He rested his forehead against hers. "Love you so much." She pressed her palm against his cheek and gently caressed his temple with her fingers.

"I know what you mean," she breathed. "I love you so much." Her lower lip quivered, and he leaned forward to capture it, kissing away the tears that threatened to fall.

"What's wrong, luv?"

"Nothing," she smiled. "They're happy tears." Spike rested his head on her chest, listening to her pounding heart begin to slow, and now that he was growing accustomed to hearing it, he could the faint murmur of their child's heart beating. It was something so intensely intimate and mysterious, and he was in awe. He closed his eyes, and she stroked his hair, and before either of them knew it, sleep had claimed them both.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! Leave me some feedback...pretty please?! :)_


	39. Six Weeks

Chapter 39: Six Weeks

It was before sunrise when the phone woke Buffy from her sleep. Spike was passed out next to her, lying face first on the mattress, arm draped over her stomach. She quickly reached for the phone before it could ring again.

"H-hello?"

"Buffy? Buffy, it's Dad."

"Dad? What…time is it?"

"I'm sorry if I woke you up, sweetheart." He sounded strained.

"What's…what's going on?"

"I just got in. I…I was on a plane all day and didn't have access to a phone. I wanted to call you and tell you happy birthday. I didn't want you to think I forgot." Buffy frowned into the receiver.

"Ok…but you could've called me…you know…later?"

"I just wanted to tell you, Buffy. I'm sorry I missed your birthday."

"It's ok. Really," Buffy whispered, rubbing her tired eyes with one hand.

"Did you have a good birthday, sweetheart?"

"Yeah. I did." She smiled into the phone. "Spike gave me a ring. Um…an…engagement ring."

"He did? That's great, honey. Congratulations."

"Thanks." She cleared her throat. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"There's something I wanna tell you, but you have to promise not to say anything. I haven't told my friends or Dawn yet."

"What is it?"

"Dad…I'm…I'm pregnant."

"Sweetheart, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you. When'd you find out?"

"About a week ago. We're really excited."

"I'm gonna be a grandpa, huh?"

"Yeah." She felt her throat close a little, and the tears started to form. "I'm scared, Daddy. I don't…I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"You'll do the best you can, Buffy. We were young when your mother and I had you, but we made it work. You and Spike will too."

"I know. I just…it's scary. There's a lot going on in my life, and I don't know how to keep a baby safe. I just…" She swallowed hard and took a few shaky breaths. "What if I'm not a good mom?"

"If you're half as amazing as your mother, Buffy, you're gonna be great."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Don't worry, Buffy. I can tell that Spike loves you, and he'll be there. You won't be alone. I'll help you in any way you need, alright?"

"Thanks, Dad."

"I love you, Buffy."

"Love you too."

***

Buffy's eyes shot open, and she immediately glanced at the clock. Seven thirty. Spike was lying awake next to her, his fingers trailing circles over her stomach.

"Morning."

"Hey," she said with a half-hearted smile.

"S'wrong?"

"I just…I had a dream about my dad." She blinked a few times, eyes adjusting to the dim light in the room. "It was real. He was calling me to say happy birthday." She shrugged. "Guess he forgot."

"Sorry," Spike whispered quietly.

"It's ok. I wasn't expecting anything. I just hoped." She sighed and sat up, deciding that thinking about her dad right now would just hurt more than help. "I'm gonna get a shower."

"Haven't heard anyone stirring 'round downstairs. Probably be best to get one while the water's still hot." Buffy smiled a little.

"Come with me. We can save hot water for the rest of them."

"Like the way you think, pet." He stood up and pulled her out of bed, leading her down the hall to the bathroom.

***

The next two weeks flew by quickly, and Anya and Xander's wedding was about seventeen hours away. Buffy was pacing back and forth in front of the bed, while Spike watched her, wondering how she hadn't worn a run in the floor already.

"What're you worrying about, pet? He said he'd call when he gets into town. He's gonna be here. Besides, we already know what he's gonna say. That's our baby in there. Our _human_ baby. Heartbeat gets stronger every day."

"I know. I'm still scared. I mean, what if…"

"Thought we talked about this, luv. No 'what ifs.' Stressing isn't good for Slayer Jr."

"If it's a girl, we're not naming her Slayer." She took a deep breath. "At least I still fit in my bridesmaid's dress. It was kinda tight, but not noticeably so. If the wedding was another week away, I think I'd be in trouble." She sighed and continued pacing. "Where the Hell is he?"

The phone rang. She sighed with relief, and Spike answered.

"Hello?" Buffy eyed him expectantly. "Oh. Hang on." He held the receiver out to her. "It's Giles."

"Oh." Taking the phone in her hand, she answered, "hello?"

"Buffy, Wesley's running a bit late. He wants us to meet him at the clinic."

"Oh. Ok. Now?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Ok, well, sunset should be in a few minutes. I want Spike there, so we'll leave when it's safe." There was a pause on the other line.

"Alright. We'll see you there."

"'Kay. Thanks, Giles." She handed the phone back to Spike and he placed it back on the base. With a heavy sigh, she sat down next to Spike on the bed. "All systems go. Just have to wait 'til sunset." She looked around, drumming her hands on her knees impatiently. "Won't be much longer before we can tell everybody."

"Suppose not," he said quietly.

"I don't wanna do it right away though. Not with Xander and Anya's wedding tomorrow." She looked down. "But I don't think the rest of them'll see it as a thunder stealing moment when we tell them. I don't know how they'll react."

"My guess? Dawn'll be ecstatic. Anya will comment on how often we shag. Harris'll probably turn purple in the face but try to avoid saying anything that might get his face damaged from my fist…or yours. Willow'll be worried; confused, but she'll be supportive, and Tara'll tell you she's happy for you." Buffy raised her eyebrows.

"That was kinda specific."

"When you're an immortal, people watching is a big pastime. You learn a lot about people."

"What'd you learn about my dad when we were in L.A.?" Spike raised an eyebrow and thought for a moment.

"Not really sure. Learned he loves you and Dawn, but he kinda stays in the background. Doesn't want to stir things up."

"Yeah," Buffy said quietly. "That's my Dad."

"Buffy, why don't you call him? Maybe he forgot…"

"Yeah, and that'd be bad enough. I'm his daughter, not some distant cousin's kid he only sees every couple years."

"Then call him and tell him that." He picked the phone back up and handed it to her. "Go on, pet. You'll feel better." Buffy grumbled but grabbed the phone. With a sigh, she dialed and started pacing again. With each ring, she grew increasingly hopeless. Finally, his voice mail picked up. At the beep, she took a deep breath.

"Dad. It's me, Buffy. I…just…call me when you get this." And she hung up. Spike stared at her. "What? What am I supposed to do? Bitch at him for not calling me on my birthday? He didn't call. It's not like he can make up for that. He can't make up for a lot of things." She moved to the window and looked out. "Come on. The sun's down. We should get going." Spike watched her leave the room first and then followed after her.

He knew she had every right to be pissed off at her dad. Honestly, he'd prefer it if he never had to see the bastard that abandoned his daughters again, but Buffy was pretty down about the fact that he hadn't even called her on her birthday. Things were already so strained between them, he could have at least made the effort.

When they reached the landing, Spike reached out and took Buffy's hand. He said nothing, but that simple gesture told her that she wasn't going to have to do this alone. Not like her mother had to. Not like she'd had to do with Dawn since her mother's death. He was going to be there. She could feel it. Her heart just needed to stop self-protecting. Not everybody in her life was going to leave her. Like couldn't be like that, could it?

***

"How are you feeling today, Dana?" Dr. Owens asked, as he and Dana sat across from one another in the training room at the Magic Box. Dana took a sip of water and nodded her head.

"Better. I like it here. The medicine you gave me? It's working. I feel better."

"And you're making friends?"

"Tara and Willow are really nice. Everyone here is. They don't look at me like a freak." She looked down. "They don't look at me like I'm a killer."

"You're not a freak. You don't have a murderer's heart, either."

"But I killed those people."

"It was self-defense, Dana."

"I don't remember that. I don't even remember killing them. I just know I did."

"You weren't in control Dana."

"But I killed the guards."

"The moment your captors injected you with that drug, you became something other than yourself. The medication they gave you at the prison only made matters worse."

"Excuses," Dana spat. "I killed, doctor. I killed, and I can't fix that."

"No. I suppose you can't. But you have a calling now. You are a Slayer. That's who you are. That's what you do. Your duty now isn't to pay for what you've done. It's to prevent evil things from happening to innocent people."

"People…like me? Like I was?"

"Precisely. Dana, you're receiving wonderful training in Sunnydale. Giles is one of the best Watchers in the business. But if you're not completely comfortable here, we can bring you back, and you can train with another Slayer in London."

"No. No, I like it here."

"Alright. Mr. Travers wants you to be happy wherever you are, because you are a Slayer, and far more powerful than he is." That got a little smile out of Dana. "Don't tell him I told you that. You see, he may have a say in how things work, but…"

"He doesn't influence Buffy," Dana pointed out.

"No, I suppose he doesn't. The Council may be back in her graces…to an extent, but she certainly doesn't work for them. Her Watcher does, but she's her own Slayer." He eyed her. "Is that what you want? Independence from the Council?"

"I don't know," Dana said quietly. "Maybe someday." With a shrug, she sighed. "Buffy has a lot of power."

"And with more experience, you will have that power someday. You're already very strong and developing skills faster than we expected after your…convalescence."

"How does the Council feel about Buffy's…you know, the thing she has with Spike." Dr. Owens cleared her throat. "This session is about _you_, Dana."

"I know. I just…she's all about fighting evil, but her boyfriend…well, he's not evil anymore. But…"

"The Council isn't happy with her decision, but the relationship hasn't caused any harm, yet. Perhaps if something were to happen _because _of that relationship, the Council would step in."

"They can just…tell people who they can't date?"

"Not necessarily, but the Council is _always_ looking out for the betterment of humankind. A Slayer is human, and humans have selfish tendencies. What's best for a Slayer might not be best for humankind. Do you understand?"

"I think so."

"Slayers, however powerful, are human, and humans act with passion. With instinct. The Council tries to see above those things when it comes to the safety and order of the universe. If it wasn't for us, for our Watchers, there would be no direction for those who secretly save the world a little bit each day. The world would be in complete chaos." Dana flinched. "When Mr. Travers read about your behavior in the prison, he knew a new Slayer had been chosen. His instincts were right. And we were able to pull you out of the grasps of a system of justice that only exists because the Council works for powers that are so far beyond…are you alright?"

"Yeah. I…" She was breathing a little faster now. "So the police…they're really…they don't have…"

"They have their own powers, of course, but only by government laws. The Council answers to another set of laws completely, which is why we must work in secret. If the rest of the world knew about the demons and other unseemly creatures of the world, nothing would be safe. No one could be trusted."

"How did this session turn from me being a killer to you trying to convince me to keep the secret?"

"I'm only telling you what you need to know, because there are decision that have to be made that, as a human, might be very difficult."

"But I have to do what's right to protect the world."

"Yes." Dana nodded.

"I got it. But what does that mean about Buffy and Spike? That she's…she's selfish?"

"We're all selfish beings, Dana," Dr. Owens remarked with a slight smile. "Buffy's lucky that the man she chose to love can force back the demon. He has a soul. He fights for good. He's not a threat. Mr. Travers isn't happy about him, but as long as the vampire continues to fight for the good of the world, there isn't anything he can do about it."

***

"What's the deal, Wes? What's growing in me?" Buffy asked, lying on the exam table as Wesley fidgeted with the ultrasound machine. Spike and Giles were up near Buffy's head, both watching the screen. Wesley furrowed his eyebrows.

"A completely healthy human, it appears." His voice carried no hint of restraint. "See that flicker there? That's the heartbeat."

"Told ya," Buffy muttered.

"You told? I told you first," Spike pointed out, getting a smile from Buffy. "So, Wes, this means that's our kid, right? I mean, mine and Buffy's. No offense. I'm sure handsome and all, but…"

"Spike," Buffy laughed. He smiled.

"Sorry, luv. But…that is ours, right?"

"Once I get the test results back. It should be around a week."

"Goody, more waiting," Buffy whined. "It's ok. I was right about it being human. I know I'm right that it's ours. I don't think a demon would implant a regular human baby in me. I mean, that would be a complete show of its lameness, right? I mean, if an evil demon was going to knock up the Slayer, you'd think it'd go all out with, you know, horns and mucus, and…"

"Not _really_ the point, luv," Spike reminded her.

"Right. But it's healthy? It looks ok?"

"Everything looks fine. I'll call you when I get the results, but I suggest you make an appointment with an actual OBGYN."

"Ok then." She breathed out a sigh of relief that she hadn't known she'd been holding in. Looking up at Spike, her eyes widened. "Oh my God, Spike. We're having a baby. I mean, we're…going to be parents. An actual…crying, pooping, puking thing is gonna come out of me, and not in an evil way. I don't know if I can handle that." Spike took her hand and squeezed it gently.

"You're the Slayer, pet. You can handle anything." Buffy looked up at her Watcher, as Wesley wiped off the jelly-like goo he'd put on her stomach before the scan off.

"Do you feel better now that you know, Giles?" she wondered.

"Well, yes. Now that we know it's not a demon, and that, despite its origins, it seems to be a normal pregnancy, there shouldn't be much more mystery about it." He cleared his throat. "I would go to the Council to ask for more references on claims, but I don't think it'd be a wise idea to mention the fact that you're carrying the child of a vampire."

"Which we'll know for sure in about a week," Wesley reminded him.

"Right," Giles agreed.

"Ok, but what about that Owens bloke?" Spike wondered. "The minute Buffy starts looking the part of an expectant mum, you can't tell me he won't be reaching for the nearest phone to sound the alarm." Buffy froze.

"He's right," she murmured. "Giles, if the Council finds out…they're gonna want to do tests, and…and I…they can't, Giles."

"Not to worry, Buffy," Giles assured her. "I don't expect Dr. Owens to stick around very long. He's growing tired of America. I give him another week, two at the most, and then he'll be gone." Buffy relaxed a little.

"Still, how are we gonna keep this from the Council, when you're on their payroll?" Buffy sat up, pulling her shirt down to cover her stomach.

"Whatever happens, Buffy, this…this child you're carrying _is_ human, and that means we'll do whatever it takes to protect it." He looked at the expectant parents. "Whatever happens, the Council won't touch you or this child. That's a promise."

***

When Buffy and Spike entered the house that night, Dawn was sitting in the living room watching TV.

"Hey Dawnie. Did anybody call while we were gone?"

"Mmm…nope. Just Jake. He said he couldn't come over and study, because he's grounded for failing a history test. Does that make _any _sense to you?"

"Not really," Buffy shrugged.

"Expecting a call?"

"Not really expecting. Hoping."

"Oh," Dawn said quietly. "He'll call. I'm sure he will, Buffy. Maybe he was just busy."

"Maybe," Buffy shrugged. "Anyway, I'm tired. Think I'm gonna go to bed." She turned to Spike. "You coming?"

"Sure thing, pet. Be up in a minute. Just a little hungry." Buffy nodded in understanding and headed up the stairs while Spike went into the kitchen for a little blood.

Upstairs, Buffy changed out of her clothes and slipped into her pajamas. They weren't the sexiest things in the world, but they were comfortable: a pair of grey workout pants and a black spaghetti strap shirt. She moved over to the mirror and stood with her side facing the glass. She placed her hands on her back and leaned back a little. No tell-tale bump yet. But being her luck, she'd wake up in the morning no longer able to fit into her dress.

It wasn't long before a pair of invisible arms wrapped around her, and she smiled, looking down to see the hands that had no reflection. Spike's lips were already on her neck. But when she frowned and turned in his arms, he knew she wasn't in the mood.

"Sorry," she muttered at the sound of his disappointed sigh. "I shouldn't let it get to me. I mean, it's not like he hasn't done this before."

"S'alright, pet."

"I mean, if he'd called, I could've told him he was gonna be a grandpa. He'd have yelled at me and told me I was too young, like a dad's supposed to, right?" Spike gently rubbed her shoulders and followed her to the bed. They sat down together, and she grabbed her brush. But, she just sat there and turned to Spike.

"I don't get it. What kind of person abandons their daughter, tries to make things right, and then starts completely ignoring her again? I just don't get it. And it's not just me he's ignoring. It's Dawn. This is just…it sucks. That's what. It sucks. He's such an asshole."

"Buffy, try and relax, pet," he whispered, placing his cool hands on her shoulders. " Don't want to go to bed angry, do you? You've got a big day tomorrow. Well, you more than me. Can't even believe I'm even invited to the bloody wedding."

"Yeah, well, Xander knew that if he didn't invite you, I wouldn't go. Besides, he's coming around." She smiled a little. "Sorry. Didn't mean to take out my 'daddy issues' on you." He smiled a little and kissed her shoulder before moving his lips up to her neck and running his hand down her arm before caressing her thigh.

"No worries, luv." With that, he reached out and turned off the light.

* * *

_Let me know what you thought of the chapter, please! Thanks!_


	40. The Wedding

Chapter 40: The Wedding

After a beautiful wedding ceremony in which Anya gracefully got through her vows without making mention of Xander's penis or any of their sexual escapades, the crowd gathered together in the reception hall. The wedding party sat at a long table at the front, and the bride and groom pieced on cake and other goodies while people Buffy had never met before came up to slip them cash and wish them congratulations. Buffy couldn't help but feel a little saddened by the fact that she would never get this. She'd never get the wedding reception. She'd never be the beautiful bride walking down the aisle toward the man she loves.

But it was something she could live without, because Spike was the one she wanted. She didn't need the fancy party or the dress, but it was nice to fantasize about.

"The best…woman would like to make a toast," Tara announced, clinking her spoon against her glass. Everyone at the reception tables turned to look at the wedding party. Willow smiled nervously and stood up.

"Thanks sweetie." She cleared her throat. "I've known Xander since we were playing in the sandbox at school together. He's always been a good friend to me, and he's literally saved my life more times than I can count. There was a time when I thought maybe I could be the girl sitting by his side on this day, sharing these memories with him, but obviously things have changed." She patted Tara's hand, and the audience chuckled. "Now, I'm just happy to share this memory with him. Watching him sitting there, looking all grown up in that tux…don't let the suit fool you. He's still the same boy that stole my Barbie when we were five. But, he's also a good man, and Anya's lucky to have him in her life." She raised a glass, and everyone raised theirs as well. Buffy brought the glass to her lips when everyone else did, though she didn't take a sip. Surely nobody would notice. Nobody cared about the bridesmaids anyway. All eyes were on the bride and groom.

The dance floor began to crowd with couples, and Buffy spotted Spike hanging around the punch bowl. She smiled and sauntered over to him, where she found him pouring the contents of his flask into it.

"Spike!" she exclaimed, swatting his arm.

"What?"

"I'm _thirsty_. I can't drink that now!" Spike smiled at her and handed her a cup.

"That's why I dipped this for you first."

"Oh," she muttered. "Well, what if I want more?"

"How much longer are we gonna be here? I wanna take you home, rip you out of that god-awful dress and ravage you."

"It's not _that_ bad." Spike cocked an eyebrow. "OK, it's hideous. I like the sound of the ravaging part, by the way. But we need to stick around a little longer. It's what good friends do." She looked down at her green dress and frowned. "Maybe I'll take it back, have it altered…a lot…make it into a snazzy cocktail dress. My present to myself for after the baby."

"You know you look beautiful."

"Yeah, but I'm gonna get really fat."

"Not fat, luv. Pregnant. And I think it's sexy."

"Ok, here's a side of you I didn't think I'd see. The pregnancy bump gets you going, huh?"

"Something about the way a woman glows."

"It's called sweat from puking all morning."

"Ok, getting a little less sexy when you put it that way." Buffy giggled at that.

"Well, you're stuck with me. You'll be stuck with fat, sweaty, barfy Buffy. If you can't handle that…"

"Oh, I'll handle it."

"Dirty," she hissed, leaning in to give him a little kiss. "Come dance with me."

"I don't do dancing, luv, unless it's the naked, dirty kind behind closed doors. Or, if you're into it, with a few pair of eyes watching…" She swatted him again.

"You danced with me at the Bronze."

"That was different."

"Why? Because you were still trying to get into my pants?"

"Well…yeah." Buffy made a face at him.

"You're such a jerk."

"But you love me."

"Yeah," she frowned. "You're my jerk."

"C'mon then," he said, taking her hand, giving in. "Let's show these tossers what real dancing looks like, shall we?" Buffy smiled and followed him out to join the crowd. She had to admit, Spike had cleaned himself up for the occasion. Not that he was normally dirty, but he was wearing a pair of black suit pants and a white, button down shirt with a black coat over it so he wouldn't draw attention to exactly how pale he was.

He had left the gel out of his hair, and it was curly, which Buffy found adorable. She wondered if their baby's hair would be that curly.

As they danced, Spike watched as Buffy's eyes darted to Anya and Xander, and he could see the jealousy there. When she would look back at him, she'd just smile and keep dancing.

"I know what you're thinking," he murmured against her ear.

"What's that?"

"You're thinking about what you're giving up to be with me."

"What?"

"The white dress. The wedding registries. The party in your honor."

"I'm not…" At Spike's glance, she shrugged. "Was it that obvious?"

"A little."

"It's not that big a deal. I don't care that I won't get those things. I mean, I'd rather be with you than anyone else. It'd be nice to have all this someday, but you can't marry…"

"A dead guy?" Buffy flinched at his words. "I might walk and talk like a man. I might shag and feel emotions and fall in love, but it doesn't change the fact that my heart's not beating. Doesn't change the fact that if it weren't for the demon inside of me, I'd be lying six feet under; food for the worms."

"Spike…"

The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if he was just being a selfish bastard. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch. He loved her. And he knew without a doubt that she loved him. He saw it in her eyes every night. He saw it in her eyes right now. And they were having this baby together which was a miracle in itself. But when it all came down to it, he was dead. Not just dead. He was a corpse that couldn't go out in the daylight. Couldn't take his kid out to the park on a sunny day to help teach them how to write a bike. Couldn't be a normal dad that a normal kid deserved.

Suddenly, they were standing still in a sea of swaying, smiling bodies. She was looking up at him, wondering what on earth was going through his head.

"I'm sorry, Pet. I have to..." He couldn't finish the sentence. He walked off, and she felt her heart stop. Tears welled in her eyes at the sight of him leaving the dance floor and going out into the hall. Him walking away…well, that was a sight she never wanted to see.

"Buffy?" Dawn tapped her sister on the shoulder, and Buffy turned around, tears in her eyes. "What happened? I saw Spike leave, and…"

"I..he's just…um…"

"Go on," Dawn urged. "Don't let him get away." Buffy nodded, blinking back her tears, and she hurried off as fast as she could in those heels. She found Spike searching the guest coat closet for his blanket.

"What the _hell _are you doing?"

"I have to go, Buffy."

"Go where?"

"Away from this…"

"Away from me? And the baby? Where to this time, Spike? Australia? Brazil? Where?"

"Don't do this, Buffy, please."

"No! No, we're doing this right now!" She grabbed his arm and tugged him down the hall. He didn't put up a struggle, and he followed her into the ladies' dressing room. A quick peek around told her nobody was in there changing, so she reached around him and locked the door. "You are _not _getting out of this."

"I don't want out of it, Buffy. I want to be with you; with our baby. But what happens when you're not home, and the kid gets sick at high noon? Or what happens when he asks why daddy can't teach him how to play baseball on a hot summer's day?" Buffy swallowed hard. "And you. You deserve a family that doesn't have to wait until it's past the kid's bedtime to go out and do something."

"Spike, please!"

"I love you, Buffy. I love you. Have for a long time. You're…you're all around me. But…but, maybe this isn't fair to you. Maybe I'm the one that's supposed to let you go."

"Where is this coming from? Why now? Why? We've been fine!"

"Watching you watching them," he said, shaking his head, "it just made me see all the things I can't give you. You deserve more than what I have to offer." Buffy shook her head.

"I don't want those things. I want _you_, Spike. I want you, and I don't care what that means. I don't…" She sniffled and took a deep breath. "Our baby? Our baby's gonna love you, because you love it. I've never seen a guy so…so in awe. I watch you put your head on my stomach and listen to the baby's heartbeat, and I fall in love with you all over again." She grabbed his hand and placed it against her flat stomach. "I love _you_, Spike, and whatever kind of life we can have is what I want, because you'll be there. I don't care if I never have the white dress. It was just…just a fantasy. I don't care about this whole…wedding thing. As far as I'm concerned, we're already married. That claim bonded us. That claim gave us this." She looked down at her stomach where his hand still lingered under hers.

Spike closed his eyes. He could hear her heart beating so fast right now. He hated making her feel this way. He wanted all of the things she claimed she wanted, but the doubt was still there.

"What happens in thirty years when you resent me for not letting you go?"

"Resent you?" She backed away. "You didn't choose this for me. _I_ did. This is what I wanted. I died, Spike, but before that, I only saw the things I thought I wanted. When I came back? I wanted you. I wanted as much as you as I could get in whatever amount of time I have left here. You can't just give up."

"I'm not…"

"It sure as hell sounds like you are!"

"No! I just want you to be happy!"

"Well, newsflash. These tears? Not happy!" Spike reached out for her, and he drew her in close.

"Why do you want to be with me? Why do you…"

"Why? Because of this," she muttered through her tears. "You…you're willing to let me go if it would make me happy. You'd just give it all up so I could have the kind of life you think I should have." She shook her head. "But the kind of life Anya wants? Not the kind of life I want. I'm the Slayer, Spike. I'm not exactly a candidate for normalcy. You know me better than to think I could ever want a life with somebody who couldn't accept me for everything that I am, good and bad." Spike felt a lump rise in this throat, and he gently cupped her cheek with his palm.

"Just don't want you to regret…" Her hand moved up to his and rested above it. She shook her head, smiling a little.

"No regrets, remember? We've talked about this before. You asked me…what if I want a family someday? I have my family. You, Dawn, and this baby are my family."

"And you're mine," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. He felt her shaking in his arms. "I want you to be happy. I want to do this with you and not have any doubts that it's exactly what you want."

"Of course it's what I want, you big, dumb vampire!" she exclaimed, pulling back to look in his eyes. "I thought I was the one that was supposed to get all hormonal and crazy. Look at you."

"Buffy, I didn't mean to upset you."

"Well you did. Your intentions were good, but..." She shook her head. "After everything…how could you question what I want?"

"I'm sorry, Buffy." She nodded.

"I know. And if you hadn't been thinking of mine and the baby's best interest, I'd have had you tied to a chair to keep you from walking out of my life." Spike cocked his head to the side.

"I'm not going anywhere, as long as you'll have me."

"I'll _always_ have you. And if you _ever _think that you're not good enough for me again, I swear I'll kick your ass. Even if I'm puffy, bloated, and wider than a whale. I'll find a way." She pulled her arms around him again and rested her head on his chest. "Don't ever scare me like that, again, Spike."

"I won't, pet. I'm sorry."

"Let's just…move past this right now, ok? No turning back. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our baby. If I want the white dress, I'll buy one. If I want presents, I'll lie and tell people I'm getting married so I can get the gifts." Spike chuckled at that. "Ok?"

"Ok," he assured her. "And just to be clear? I don't plan on ever letting you go. So even if you ask me thirty years down the road, I won't change my mind." Buffy smiled.

"Good. You better not. If either one of us ever thinks about giving up, neither one is bowing out, ok? We made this happen, Spike. We made this bond, and that's a forever thing." She placed her hand on his chest and looked at her ring. "This ring…it means more than a little piece of paper saying we're legal ever could. Understand?" Spike took that hand in his and placed a soft kiss there.

"Perfectly."

"You better." She moved away from him and looked in the mirror. "Thank God for waterproof mascara." He came up behind her, placing a kiss on her shoulder.

"Let me make it up to you."

"We can't…not…here." He spun her around in his arms, and his blue eyes sparkled as they stared into hers. He leaned forward, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead and then to her lips. When he finally pulled back, he watched her lower lip tremble. She nearly melted into him.

"Ok. Here's good."

* * *

_Please let me know what you think. I made this chapter shorter, because I've noticed people have stopped reading. I don't wanna waste my energy with longer chapters if hardly anybody's gonna read it. _


	41. Waiting and Hoping

Chapter 41: Waiting and Hoping

"Dawn! Hurry up!" Buffy called up the stairs. "You'll be late for school!"

"I'm coming!" Dawn exclaimed, feet pounding on the floor upstairs as she hurried to get ready in time. Buffy headed back into the kitchen, where Spike was sitting reading the paper and drinking his morning blood.

"I'm so changing her bedtime if she doesn't start getting out the door sooner," Buffy grumbled. She started over to the stove, where the butter in the skillet was completely melted. She cracked an egg, and it plopped and sizzled on contact. But when the smell hit her, she felt her stomach lurch, and she covered her mouth. "Oh…" She moaned and rushed to the trashcan, emptying the contents of her stomach. Spike stood up quickly and moved to help her.

After a few moments, however, she stood and closed the lid. "Good thing it's trash day, 'cause that's pretty gross." Her face was pale, and she looked like all she wanted to do was lay down.

"Ok. I'm leaving!" Dawn called from the front room. Buffy rushed to tell her sister goodbye, but she'd already hurried outside. With a sigh, Buffy turned back to the kitchen.

"You alright, pet?"

"Fine. Just…ugh, get that…ew, out of here." She crinkled her nose at the stove, and Spike turned the heat off the burner and scraped the egg into the trashcan. With that, he promptly lifted the bag out of the can and tied it up. He placed it by the back door and looked at Buffy.

"You'll have to help me on this one, pet." She nodded and took the bag out and put it in the trash can by the street. When she returned, Spike wasn't in the kitchen, so she headed upstairs, where he was brushing his teeth. She stood in the doorway, head cocked to the side at the sight.

"Don't forget to brush your fangs, too," she teased. He looked at her and shook his head before spitting the toothpaste out in the sink. Buffy stood beside him and looked in the mirror. She placed her hands on her hips and turned to the side. Ah, the tell tale signs: the first sign of a bump.

"We're gonna have to tell them soon, pet," he pointed out. "Think you can get away with calling it bloat for another week, but pretty soon, that's gonna be a lot bigger."

"Yeah," she muttered. Today was the start of her seventh week, and Wesley still hadn't called with the results from the DNA test. She wasn't really worried about it anymore, anyway. What mattered was that this baby was human. It was hers in her heart, and if it didn't happen to be in any other way, she'd love it still.

"You sure you feel up to going to the shop today?"

"No," Buffy grumbled before gargling with mouthwash to get the vomit taste out of her mouth. She spat the green, foamy liquid out into the sink. "But I promised I'd help Giles run the place while Xander and Anya are on their honeymoon." She looked down at her belly. "Time's moving too fast. I don't feel like we've had enough time with this…you know, just to ourselves? I've got to tell everyone when Xander and Anya get back."

"You'll feel better once the secret's out. Won't have to try to explain why you're not drinking."

"Yeah, I thought for sure somebody was gonna call me on it when I didn't have a hangover after my birthday. Luckily, most of them had hangovers of their own, so they didn't notice." She smiled and gave Spike a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for your help this morning."

"You've got to be hungry. I can make you something."

"Nothing sounds good. The thought of food makes me…" She made a face.

"Alright?"

"Yeah. Just…ugh. Don't mention food."

"Right then, but you'll have to eat something soon. Little Beth needs her nourishment."

"Beth?"

"Short for Elizabeth," he pointed out. Buffy sighed. "So it's Beth today? What'll it be tomorrow?" They'd been trying out names on their mystery baby. Spike always had girls' names in mind. One day she was Buffy Jr. Another day she was Willa, which could be passed as naming her after Willow, but it was obvious he derived it from William."

"You know, if our baby comes out a boy, you're the one that gets to explain to him why he was Buffy Jr. for nine months." Spike got down on his knees, lifting her night shirt and pressing his lips to her slightly distended belly.

"Don't listen to your mum. She thinks that just 'cause she's the Slayer, she knows it all. Well, your pop knows a thing or two that she doesn't."

"Ok, I believed you when you heard the baby's heartbeat, and while you might have great eyesight for a guy over a hundred years old, you can't possibly see or know what our baby is. I don't even know if it has those…parts yet."

"Mark my words…it's a girl."

"And if it's not?"

"It is."

"Spike."

"Alright. If I'm wrong—which I'm not—then you name him whatever you want."

"I was going to anyway," she teased. "I like William."

"Anything but that."

"You said."

"Ok, name him whatever you want except for William." Buffy rolled her eyes. Spike pressed his lips against her belly again. "Don't listen to Mummy. She doesn't know what she's talking about." Buffy swatted the top of his head.

"You're already trying to be the favorite parent and it's not even here yet. Not cool, Spike." She walked away from him and started toward the door. But, he stood and pulled her back toward him.

"Not so fast, luv. We're not finished here." She smiled as his lips moved to her neck.

"Oh we're not?"

"House to ourselves…you don't have to be at the shop for an hour. C'mon."

"You're a bad influence, but ok," she giggled, as his lips pressed against hers. She pulled away.

"Ok, if we're gonna do _that,_" she laughed, reaching for her toothbrush, "I've gotta do this. Mouthwash doesn't take care of everything." Spike went ahead and stripped down, got in the shower, and got the water nice and hot like Buffy liked it. He realized about five minutes in that she was taking her own sweet time just to torture him. He poked his head out of the shower curtain, and she was just wiping off her mouth. She smiled innocently at him. "What?"

"Clothes off. Now."

"Ooh, somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed." Spike looked down at his semi-hard cock, and Buffy's gaze followed his.

"Yeah. I got up. You wanna do something about that?"

"Why 'Mr. Pratt," she whispered seductively as she stripped out of her night clothes. "I'm a mother. I can't do those things." She batted her eyes and placed her hand on her cheek. Spike growled and tugged her naked form into the tub with him.

Before he devoured her mouth with his, he breathed, "you're not my mother." Buffy smiled against his lips as he backed her up under the stream of hot water. She leaned her head back, letting the water soak her to the scalp. She moaned softly when Spike began to kiss her neck and trail his way down to her belly. He was on his knees, and she smiled devilishly.

"Sit back," she murmured. He did as she asked, leaning against the back of the tub. She stood over him, her pussy, dripping with water and her own juices, was right before his eyes. He leaned forward, nuzzling her with his nose for a moment before he tasted her. He moaned softly, grabbing onto the towel rack to keep herself steady. But the moment his hands moved to her hips, her knees gave out. He pulled her down into his lap before maneuvering himself to lay down. She placed her knees on either side of his head, grabbing either side of the tub with her hands to steady herself. She moaned, gently thrusting against his face as he explored her with his expert lips and talented tongue.

"Taste so good," he murmured, digging his fingers into her hips, holding her still while he thrust his tongue inside of her.

"Mmmm…oh…Spike!" She bit her lower lip and sucked in a sharp, hissing breath. He felt her thighs clench around his jaw, and a rush of juices flooded over his lips. She breathed and writhed shakily above him, and he continued to circle her clit with his tongue until she slowly slid off of him and turned herself around. Spike felt her little hand close around his cock as her ass wiggled in front of his face. He bent forward, tasting her again, inserting a couple of fingers inside of her wet channel. She moaned as her mouth enveloped his cock, taking him in as far as she could.

She flattened her tongue against the underside of his cock, and as she took him in and out, her tongue provided enough friction that she knew it wouldn't be long before he lost control.

His thumb brushed over her clit roughly, and she whimpered, the vibrations running from her throat to his cock, making him shudder in response.

"Fuck, Buffy. You keep that up, and…" She brought a hand to cup his balls, giving them a firm squeeze, and he bucked his hips. She'd have gagged had her other hand been controlling the amount she took in at the base of his cock.

Just as he was about to come, she released him and moved around, impaling herself on him. He let out a hiss through his teeth at the sensation of her slippery, wet folds enveloping him, squeezing him, making him feel as if he were melting inside of her.

"Christ," he breathed, pulling her to him roughly for a searing kiss. She moaned against him as she rode him, and when he pulled away from the kiss, he bent down to take a firm nipple between his teeth. He gave it a little tug, and she yelped, digging her nails into his shoulder.

"You wanna play rough?" she asked, picking up the pace. But all thoughts were lost to her when that expert mouth moved to her neck, suckling on the claim scar. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her hold tightening on him as she milked his cock with every stroke, pumping him until the bubble burst, and she felt him shudder beneath her. She continued to ride him as he came, staring into his eyes, seeing how vulnerable he was right now. God, the power was invigorating. And at that thought, she came and collapsed on top of them as the water continued to shower down on them from above. "The rough thing kinda fizzled out there, didn't it?" she finally asked after several minutes.

"S'alright."

"God, I love this."

"Sex with me or in a bathtub?"

"Both," she giggled. "But we really should get clean before the hot water runs out." With that, she stood and helped him up, and they went about washing themselves…and each other. Needless to say, Buffy was going to be late.

***

"Is everything alright?" Giles asked as he waved a hand in front of Buffy's face.

"Huh?" she asked, snapping out of her space-out fest.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Oh. Yeah. I was just…thinking." _About Spike's perfect mouth and how amazing it feels when he's between my legs. Oh God…_ She felt those familiar tingles, and her panties grew a bit damp. "Um…I think I need to train."

"Do you need me?"

"Nah, that's ok. Just need to work out a little frustration."

"Did you and Spike quarrel?"

"Huh? Oh. No. We're fine. I know that's not something you want to hear, but…"

"Buffy, you know I want what's best for you. While I think you can do _much_ better than Spike, he's been quite supportive of you lately. I can see you love him very much, so if the two of you were to fight, I wouldn't be happy about that."

"Thanks Giles," Buffy breathed. "I'm glad you don't completely hate him. He's a good man. I know, I know. It's not easy for you to look past the demon part. But the man is a lot more powerful than the demon, I promise." She placed her hands on her belly. "He makes me happy, and he's giving me something I never thought I'd have." She smiled a little. "Not that I really ever really let myself want this, I know now that it _is_ what I want. I want this baby, and I want Spike. And I want all of my friends to stay my friends, because my life wouldn't be the same without any of you, ok?"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. You're a grown woman, and you're following your heart."

"Yeah. Something most Slayers never get to do. Lucky for me, I get a family that slays together." She grinned. "Wonder if our motto should be 'The family that slays together stays together?'" She shook her head. "Anyway, I've gotta train." She started for the training room.

"Dana's in there."

"Oh." Buffy placed her hand protectively over her barely-there bump. "I don't know what to do, Spike. I mean, Dana's in touch with the Council. She could tell them, you know?"

"I've spoken to Dana on the issue of the Council. She seems to understand that there are special circumstances. She doesn't have a problem with you and Spike, does she?"

"No," Buffy said thoughtfully. "She doesn't treat him any differently when she's around him, if that's what you mean. I talked to her about it, and I think she kinda gets it. She's just a little weirded out. I think she sees it as sleeping with the enemy. I guess it kinda is. But Spike's not the enemy. He just happens to, you know…be the enemy?" She sighed. "You know what I mean. Uch. I have to train." She shook her head and started back into the training room. Dana was doing what looked like a gymnastics routine, but it was very obvious that she was staging a mock slay. The way she ducked and rolled and punched and kicked made that quite obvious.

Buffy moved to the punching bag and wrapped her hands to help with the impact. She looked down at her clothes, all loose fitting and comfortable, and wondered if maybe it was obvious. If it was, nobody had mentioned anything lately.

She started out easy enough, focusing all of her energy into the punching bag. But when the damp spot of her underwear chafed against her, she was reminded of why exactly she'd needed this little workout. And then her mind began to wander. She thought about the way his arms wrapped protectively around her. The way his muscles moved under her touch as he pumped in and out of her. She thought about the way the muscles in his arms would tremble under his own weight as he held himself up, picking up the pace.

She found herself biting her lip as she punched faster and added in a swivel-kick here and there for variation.

When Dana took a break to rest from her vigorous solo workout, she noticed Buffy's routine was growing more fierce and a little sloppy. She rushed over, almost afraid to touch her fellow Slayer. But, she ended up tapping her on the shoulder. Buffy swung around, startling Dana.

"Dana. Sorry." She let her breathing calm. "I…I knew you were in here. I just…"

"You were working out your issues. I get it. I've got a lot of 'em myself."

"Yeah," Buffy said quietly. "What were you working out this time?" Dana frowned.

"Mr. Travers wants me to come back to England for an evaluation."

"He does?"

"Yeah. I thought I wanted to go home, but I'm torn. I mean, I still have a lot to learn from Mr. Giles, but the Council…after everything they did for me? I feel like I owe them." Her eyes widened. "Not that you guys haven't done a lot for me. I mean, I'm lucky you didn't throw me out on the street after you found out everything I've done…"

"Whoa," Buffy said, shaking her head. "You're still on that? Dana, what happened wasn't your fault. You know that."

"I know. But I still…I still did those things. I still get caught up in it." She frowned. "I guess that's another reason I was in here today. The last patrol I went on? I nearly got impaled on my own stake." Buffy winced at the memory of it happening to her last year.

"You're trying too hard."

"That's what Giles tells me," she pointed out. "I'm trying too hard to…how did he put it? I'm 'overcompensating for my past mistakes.'"

"Well…you kinda are. I mean, I'm not saying you shouldn't be feeling these things. It only proves you're human. It's just…don't let yourself try to make up for it in slaying demons. You're not a bad person. You just have to have a little more faith in yourself." She placed her hand on Dana's shoulder.

"Thanks, Buffy." She swallowed hard. "I'm going to go to London. But…after my evaluation, I wanna come back. I like it here. I have friends here." She smiled a little. "Willow and Tara. And…I mean, I know we don't hang out very much, but we have one huge thing in common here." She motioned back and forth between them. "It might sound stupid, but I feel like we're close because of that." Buffy shook her head.

"It's not stupid. We're two out of three living people in this world who know what it feels like to have this power. It does kinda make us part of an exclusive club, huh?" Dana smiled.

"Yeah. It does."

"I'd like it if you came back." _I'd feel better knowing you were here, because I'm not sure I can trust you where the Council's involved_. She felt terrible for thinking that way, but how could she not? The Council would in no way smile upon the birth of a child of a vampire and a Slayer. And on the other end of that spectrum, there was the possibility that they would welcome it and want to poke and prod at it and run god awful tests. Either way, she wanted to keep her child as far away from the Council as possible. It wouldn't be possible to keep it a secret, of course, but she didn't want to have to feel the threat of having to possibly throw her life on the line. She wanted to be happy with Spike and her baby and Dawn. She didn't want to have to spend her life running and fighting people who were _supposed_ to be on her side of the good and evil spectrum.

"Thanks, Buffy. You've been really great to me. I wish there was something I could do to pay you back."

"It's ok. Really. Just…keep doing what you're doing, Dana. You're becoming a pretty kick ass Slayer." Her stomach twisted into knots. She just hoped she could trust her.

***

"Bloody television," Spike muttered, clicking the set off and tossing the remote onto the coffee table with a loud thud. He felt his stomach starting to rumble, so he headed into the kitchen to warm up a mug of blood. Buffy had pre-poured it for him that morning, so all he really had to do was heat it up.

He popped the blue mug into the microwave and hit the one minute button. That was when the phone rang. Spike reached over the counter for the phone on the wall and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Uh, yes. Is this Spike?" a proper, British accent asked.

"Yeah. Sherlock Jr., right?"

"Wesley W…"

"Yeah, right. You're calling for Buffy?"

"Well, yes."

"She's not home right now."

"Considering the DNA test was run on you as well, I can tell you the results now."

"About bloody time. Buffy's been working herself up…" Well, she hadn't really, but he didn't need to know that.

"Yes, well, the results have come in."

"And…what are we looking at here? Tell it to me straight, Percy. Is this kid gonna have its mum's eyes and my hair, or…"

"Well, I can't say for certain who the child'll look like, but I can tell you, without a doubt, that this child was conceived from the both of you. Don't ask me to go into specifics, because that's where the areas get gray. The best possible scenario I've come up with is that the moment the claim occurred…"

"That's when my swimmers got through and…"

"I wouldn't put it that way, but yes," Wesley said with certainty.

"Thanks, uh, Wesley. Buffy'll be happy to know. So, no worries then, right?"

"The only advice I can give the both of you is to set up an appointment with an OBGYN right away. Make sure Buffy takes care of herself."

"Done," Spike said quickly. "And this hasn't gotten 'round to Captain Forehead, has it?"

"Who?"

"Uh, your boss."

"Angel? No, of course not."

"Make sure it stays that way. The last thing Buffy needs is him barging in, trying to tell her what to do."

"It's none of my business, but it sounds as if you're jealous."

"Not jealous, mate. Just know what I want, and I know what my lady wants. But I also know that Angel has a way of upsetting her, and she doesn't need that right now. Not when she's still getting used to all of this. If she wants to tell him, I won't stand in her way, but right now…"

"I understand. I do have to get back to work."

"Right. Well, thanks for calling." Spike hung up, and turned to get his cooling blood out of the microwave. When he turned around, taking a sip, he nearly spat it out all over the counter. Buffy was standing here, arms folded, a smile playing at her lips.

"I heard what you said."

"What?"

"To Wesley…about Angel." Spike cocked his head to the side.

"Oh. I suppose you're mad?"

"Exactly the opposite," she replied, moving around the counter. "Angel left a long time ago, ok? He's got a new life." She moved her arms around his waist. "And so do I. Wouldn't change a thing." She stood on her tiptoes to give him a closed-mouth kiss. As much as she loved him, tasting pig's blood wasn't exactly on the top of her list right now.

"Good. 'Cause I've got some pretty good news. Think you'll be happy to know." Buffy flashed him a bright smile.

"So the results are in?"

"Yep. Buffy Jr. is gonna be making her way into the world in just over seven months, and she might just have her mum's beautiful, green eyes." Buffy let out a little squeak.

"So…so…?"

"So, our baby's exactly that. Ours."

"Ah! I knew it." She practically leaped into his arms, and he put the mug of blood down on the counter. She giggled, as he smiled down at her. "Wow." She shook her head. "I can't believe it. All that waiting…now…now it's really…real, you know? Not that it wasn't before. But it's just…knowing that this really is our baby makes it sink in a little more."

"I know what you mean, luv."

"Ok, this calls for a celebration."

"What kind've celebration?"

"You're taking me out tonight."

"Where to?"

"You haven't decided yet," she teased. "But you're thinking…mood lighting, dancing, lots and lots of wild, monkey love, maybe before we even get home." Spike felt a twinge in his groin.

"You know just what to say to get a man's motor running," he growled against her neck, placing cool kisses there that made her skin prickle. She bit her lower lip and sighed happily.

"Well, while it's running, why don't we take it for a spin?" she suggested, raising an eyebrow. He let out another little growl, and she laughed as he rushed her out of the room and up the stairs for a little preview of the wild monkey love that was to come.

* * *

_My weekend ended up being less busy than I thought, so I was able to finish the chapter! Hope you enjoyed it!_


	42. Voraos

Chapter 42: Voraos

"You've _got_ to be kidding me," Buffy laughed, as she and Spike pulled up outside of the cemetery. "You never even kissed a girl? I mean, ok, I got the whole virgin at twenty-seven thing, because from what you've told me, you weren't exactly suave with the ladies. But you never kissed anyone until Drusilla? Seriously?"

"It's not that funny," Spike muttered, as he got out of the car. Buffy got out too and slammed her door shut.

"I know. It's just…you're so different now. I mean, I can't picture William the Bloody being a virgin. I just…I can't. Not with all those…you know, _things_ you can do."

"Oh, like what?" Buffy shook her head, refusing to answer.

"C'mon, kitten. You know what's gonna happen when I get you inside tonight. Wait a minute. I seem to recall you saying something about _before _we get home. Don't remember anything happening at The Bronze, except for you groping me and then leaving me hanging. Little tease." Buffy giggled.

"Yeah, that's me," she laughed. "Ok, I have an idea." She smiled, turning to face him. "We get through patrol tonight, and we can go to your old crypt." Spike stiffened a little. "What?"

"I…uh…let's not go there."

"Why not? Is it already rented?" she snorted.

"'Course not. It's just…it's still sort of…mine at the moment." Buffy's jaw dropped.

"What?"

"There's a lot of stuff pet. I mean, what'd you think I did? Hired movers to put it all in storage?"

"You mean, you still have a place to go in case I decide to throw you out."

"Well, no, but…now that you mention it."

"Oh, you…ugh! Men!" She brushed past him.

"Buffy! Come on, it's not like I was staying there or anything. I've been there every night and every morning with you since I officially moved in. Even before that…c'mon, pet."

"You don't get it, do you? Having your own place just kind of tells me that this living together thing is only temporary."

"It's not."

"Well then…why did you keep everything there? I mean, you could've sold it. That bed alone…pretty fantastic. Sturdy too. I think we've almost broken mine twice. And the sheets? To die for." Spike furrowed his brows. "Are you madder that I kept the place or that I didn't trade beds?" Buffy sighed.

"Sorry."

"S'alright, pet. I know a mood swing when I see one. Glad to see that you don't have super Slayer mood swings, 'cause that might just lead to you accidentally staking me in the heat of an argument."

"Never," she scoffed.

"You're mad."

"No."

"Buffy."

"Ok, yes. I mean…it's like your Bachelor pad. You've had God knows how many women down there."

"Two."

"Huh?"

"You and that…that…"

"Harmony?"

"Yeah. Sorry, pet. Saying her name leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I never knew that stupid had a human form until I met her."

"Technically, an undead human form," Buffy pointed out.

"Missing the point, luv. It's not like it's my secret place where I keep all the memories of all the women I've shagged in the past. That's not it. Only memories I think about from my time with Harmony are the times she was gone and I was thinking about you." Buffy felt her heart thud a little harder against her chest.

"Oh," she said quietly.

"I haven't stepped foot in the place since I moved in with you. It's not my secret get away from my hormonal, pregnant sex-kitten."

"Sex kitten?" she asked with a roll of her eyes and amused smile.

"Fact is, I'm happier when I'm at your house. Feels a lot better than some old crypt."

"It didn't used to, did it?"

"No, but you're there. You make it home." Buffy sighed.

"Ok, stop saying things like that. You make it impossible to be mad at you. I miss our fights sometimes."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. They always got me in the mood." She glanced at him awkwardly and blushed.

"Hate to ruin it for you, pet, but that was never a secret."

"What?!"

"Please. Your scent…God, there's nothing like it." Buffy crinkled her nose. "You have no idea how many times I'd go back to the crypt and beat myself stupid. Just one whiff of you, and I knew I was in for hours of…"

"Ok, now that's kinda creepy. You sound like some horny teenager beating off in his bedroom."

"Well, there's not much difference when it comes to you. You bring out the horny teenager in me, Buffy. What can I say?" Buffy made a face, but she couldn't help but smile.

"That's sweet. And kinda weird." Spike sniffed the air.

"And it's turning you on."

"Ok, that's just…" Something came flying at her from behind, and she hit the ground with a thud. "Oh!"

"Buffy!" Spike called, seeing her scrambling to get up. It'd happened so fast, and he couldn't remember how she'd landed. Not only did they have to save their own lives, but they had to save their baby's.

"Slayer!" a particularly slimy demon roared, charging at his prey. Spike pulled a knife out of his coat pocket and tossed it at the large beast. It landed square in the demon's back, and the beast snarled and howled, trying to pull the foreign object from its flesh.

"Let me help you with that, mate." Spike grabbed the knife and twisted it, causing the demon further pain. He then pulled the knife out, and Spike kicked him hard in the chest, sending him flying into the wall of a crypt. Spike immediately went to Buffy's side, helping her stand.

"You alright, luv?"

"Yeah. I'm just…ow." Spike's hand immediately went to her belly. "It's ok…I think it…" But before Spike could question her further, the demon let out a loud snarl. He charged again, and Buffy lunged forward, grabbing the demon by the neck and squeezing hard until no breath was left in the hulking, slimy mass. When it fell to the ground, she took Spike's knife and drove it into the heart, just to be safe. "Gross," she muttered.

"The baby?"

"It's ok. I landed on my side. I think it's…" She felt her throat go dry. Spike moved toward her, and she closed her eyes as he pulled her into an embrace. "I can't do that, again, Spike. I froze when I thought the baby was hurt. I…I can't do that, or I'm gonna get us killed."

"S'alright now, pet. It's over. Next time'll be different."

"It has to be," she breathed, clutching her stomach. "God, it has to be." Spike knelt down in front of her and placed his ear to her belly. When he looked up at her with a reassuring smile, she let out a sigh.

"Heart's beating the same as this morning. And the yesterday. And the day before. It's alright, Buffy."

"Good," she said with a nod, as Spike took her hand. "Let's just get home. I've had enough patrolling for one night." Shakily, she walked alongside him as he led her back to the car.

***

When they arrived back at the house, Buffy was feeling the aches in her sides and back from the fight. Spike had one arm around her when they came through the door.

"Hey guys," Dawn said with a wave from the stairs as she descended in her pajamas. She saw the look of worry in Buffy's eyes. "What's wrong? You're hurt."

"I'm ok, Dawnie," Buffy assured her. "The demon just caught me off guard." Dawn looked at Spike for confirmation, but he was too busy looking concerned. He helped her with her coat and placed it in the closet. She started toward the stairs but winced at a twinge in her back. "Ok, couch it is." Spike and Dawn both followed her into the living room, and they sat down on the couch together. Dawn leaned forward to look past Spike.

"You look worried. What's wrong? Is it bad?"

"No. I'll be ok. I'm just…"

"He just knocked her around a little," Spike spoke up. Buffy looked at Spike, catching his gaze. They were planning on telling their friends in a few days, but all Hell would break loose if that happened and Dawn didn't have the info already.

"It's more than that," Buffy pointed out, giving Spike a little nod to let him know it was ok. "Dawn, there's something I need to tell you, but you have to promise not to freak out or tell anybody, ok?"

"Oh God," Dawn murmured. "Buffy, it's bad, isn't it?" Buffy could see the flash of horror in her sister's eyes. She knew the poor girl couldn't take much more bad news in her life.

"God, no," Buffy said quickly. "No, it's not bad. It's…it's really good, actually." She smiled at Spike. "We think so anyway."

"Ok…so what's the what?"

"Well," Buffy murmured, clearing her throat, "you're gonna thinking, 'huh?' and 'how is this possible,' but…"

"Buffy!" Dawn exclaimed, exasperated.

"Right. Um, Dawn? I'm pregnant." Dawn's face was frozen for a moment, but slowly, her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open.

"Oh my God. Oh my God! Oh my…oh my God!" she exclaimed. "How did this happen?" She frowned. "Don't give me the details. Just…I mean, I thought…you know…vampires?"

"It happened with the claim," Spike announced.

"Oh my God," Dawn breathed. "I'm gonna be an aunt? This is _so_ cool!" Buffy smiled.

"We think so too. You're the first person we've told…besides Giles and Wesley." Dawn's face fell. "Well, we had to tell Giles, because we didn't know how it happened. And Wesley's the one that ran some tests and…and everything."

"Oh," Dawn said with a slow nod. "So the baby…it's human, right?"

"A hundred percent," Buffy assured her. "But you can't tell anyone. I wanna tell the rest after Xander and Anya get back. Ok?"

"Ok," Dawn assured her. "You know, it's gonna be hard to keep this secret."

"Well, try," Buffy warned her. "It's still really early."

"How early?"

"About seven weeks."

"Seriously? I have to wait…what, seven more months?"

"Give or take a week or two," Buffy said with a nod.

"Oh well. Oh my God. This is so awesome, Buffy!" Dawn leaned over Spike to hug her sister, and when she pulled away, she hugged Spike. "I can't wait to see you with a baby. You're such a softie, I just know you're gonna be a good dad."

"Uh, thanks Nibblet," he muttered. "Don't let that get around though."

"Oh, and mar your reputation? Surely not," Dawn giggled. "Ok, so we have to make plans. The nursery? Where's it gonna sleep? I mean…"

"Not quite sure about that yet," Buffy said quietly. "We're still in the, 'holy crap we're gonna be parents' stage."

"Oh," Dawn said with a nod. "Wow. I can't believe it…a baby!" But suddenly her frown turned somber. "You're hurt though. The baby?"

"The baby's fine, Nibblet," Spike assured her. "Heart's strong and healthy."

"How do you…"

"Spike has _really_ good hearing," Buffy offered.

"Oh," Dawn accepted with a nod. "Ok."

"There's one thing though," Buffy said quietly. "It's about Dana."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I'm sort of on the fence about her finding out. She does have close ties with the Council. She's young and she trusts them. At least Giles knows he doesn't have to tell them anything." She placed her hand on her belly. "We're not really sure how they'd react to a Slayer being pregnant by a vampire, especially with the claim involved and everything."

"You think they'd want to hurt the baby?"

"Yeah. Or study it. Either way, I can't let that happen."

"I won't say anything to Dana, but Buffy, she's got eyes."

"Yeah. Well, I'm hoping to delay her finding out for a while. I just don't want to deal with the Council right now. At least not until the morning sickness is gone and I stop barfing all the time." Dawn made a face. "Sorry for the visual."

"It's ok. My lips are sealed. But I can't _wait_ 'til you tell everyone else. I can't wait to see the look on Xander's face."

"Yeah," Buffy said weakly, "I'm sure it's gonna be a shock."

***

"You're certain you want to leave now?" Giles wondered as he drove toward the airport with Dana in the passenger's seat. "It's so sudden."

"I know. I just want to get this evaluation over with. They'll see I'm doing better, and they'll let me go."

"Yes. Yes, you are doing better." Dana could hear the apprehension in his voice.

"You don't really think so, do you?" It stung a little to think that. This man had become her teacher. He'd become a big part of her life, and it was frightening to feel like she wasn't trusted.

"Of course I think you're doing better, Dana. I'm just not certain the Council will feel that way." He glanced at her for a moment before returning his attention to the road. "They helped you, yes, but you need to remember that you're a Slayer. You don't work for them."

"But I do."

"You don't have to do everything they tell you, Dana. If that was the case, you'd have no time to be anything other than a Slayer." Dana swallowed hard at that and she looked away; looked anywhere but at her Watcher.

"Yeah, but that's what I am now. That's all I can be anymore."

"That's not the case, Dana. You can be a lot of things. Look at Buffy."

"Look at Buffy," Dana repeated. "What's so different besides the fact that she has a boyfriend? A vampire boyfriend, at that? She goes out every night and gets herself all bruised up, same as me. Only difference is that at the end of the night, she's got somebody to take care of her."

"Buffy doesn't need taken care of."

"That's not what I mean." She shrugged. "And I don't want a boyfriend either. The only thing I really need is a stake and a string of luck to get me through the night."

"Dana, being the Slayer may have once been about that, but Buffy's proven time and time again that it _is_ possible to have much more."

"Maybe she had to prove it, because she had the friends and the family to protect. I don't have anybody."

"That isn't true."

"Well, the people I know? They already have their Slayer. They don't need me."

"You have a lot to learn, Dana. And you sound as if you're not coming back."

"I told you I was."

"Then why are you speaking to me like you're about to go off and do something very stupid?" Dana shot Giles a look.

"I'm not gonna hurt anyone, if that's what you're asking."

"I didn't say you were. Dana, you have got to understand that there are people in this world who are good."

"Yeah," Dana said quietly. "I know. I just need a break."

"From training?"

"No. Just…a break." She closed her eyes and leaned against the headrest. "I don't know if I'll come back right away."

"Dana…you really must continue your training."

"You're the one that just said I can have more than that. How can I if my life's scheduled for me? Between you and the Council…" Giles felt a twinge of familiarity in the girl's words. He remembered how he'd unintentionally hurt Buffy by putting her through things he never would have if it weren't for the Council. Sure, Buffy had turned out just fine, but he couldn't risk making those mistakes with Dana. Not when her disposition was so very different from Buffy's. There was no telling what she might do if she wasn't allowed a little freedom. He was certain she wasn't a threat, but she was still a little unstable. She was going to have to be looked after closely.

"I'll go with you."

"What?"

"To London."

"No. Giles, thanks for your concern, but I have to do this on my own. I have to show the Council that I'm gonna be fine. Then I'm gonna leave."

"And go where?"

"I don't know. But…but I'll come back to Sunnydale. It's the only place that feels…somewhat real to me anymore." She sighed heavily. "Trust me, Giles. I know it's not easy, but you have to try."

***

"She did? Wow," Buffy murmured, lying in bed with her hand absentmindedly rubbing her belly. "Ok. Well, thanks for calling, Giles. Tell her to be careful. Ok. Bye." Spike was sitting on the edge of the bed removing his shoes.

"What was that all about?" he asked after he heard her hang up.

"Dana left."

"What?"

"She was talking about it earlier. I just didn't expect it to be tonight. She was kinda torn about it. It was like she didn't want to go…but she didn't want to stay, you know?"

"She's got a lot of things on her mind, pet. She went from not even knowing who she was to realizing she'd done some pretty gruesome things. Now she's going the right away again, and it's hard for anything to feel real."

"Sounds like you have some experience."

"Yeah, well, I had help. When I got my soul back, I had you to come home to. Dana doesn't have anybody. She's just looking for a place to fit in. Look at me. I don't fit in, but I'm not alone. I've got a family now." He placed his hand over hers on her belly.

"Look at you, Mr. Insightful," Buffy murmured. She shrugged a little and ran her fingers through his hair. "It's better this way, anyway. I can tell everyone about the baby while she's gone, and we won't have to worry about the Council or anything. For a while, anyway." She frowned.

"Don't worry, pet," he breathed, resting his head on her belly. "If they try one thing, any little thing…" He let out a slow, even breath. "They won't know what hit them." Buffy closed her eyes as Spike raised her shirt to place a kiss on her bare stomach. "You hear that, little bit? You're staying safe inside your mum until it's time to come out. I'll protect you…always."

Buffy watched him as he kissed her belly and talked to their baby. Her green eyes filled with tears when it hit her that Spike was her rock. Sure, she was the Slayer, and Slayers were supposed to be tough and fierce, but he was there when she couldn't be. When she was tired or scared, he was her rock.

As she watched him, she thought about the night she came back. The night that seemed like so long ago, but in reality, really wasn't. He'd held her. He'd made her feel safe in a world that no longer made sense to her. That was the night she realized he wasn't the demon who thought he loved her. He was the man that did love her. That would do anything for her. And as she watched him now, she realized that that wasn't going to change. He was going to be there.

He heard her breath hitch in her chest, and he looked up, his blue eyes boring into her green ones.

"What is it, pet? What's wrong?" he wondered. "Are you hurt?" He examined her sides for any signs of bruising, but there was nothing but smooth, golden skin that prickled with goose bumps at his touch.

"It's nothing," she said with a little smile. "I just love you." He crawled up the bed and over her to kiss her softly. Her hand moved to caress the side of his face. "Thanks for being here, Spike. I couldn't do this without you." He smiled a little and placed a kiss against her neck.

"Yes you could," he murmured, "but you don't have to. I'm here for the long haul, even if you get sick of me and want me out."

"Good. I like it that way," she smiled, leaning up to kiss him again. After a few moments, she sighed and pulled back. "Can we forget about the wild monkey love tonight?" Spike hesitated for a moment and pulled back, a little hurt. She shook her head and pulled him back toward her. "No…I mean…" She placed her hand on the back of his neck and brought his mouth down over hers. Her tongue gently slid against his lower lip, and she let out a soft breath. "Will you just…make love to me?" He smiled a little and leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead before easing her up to help her out of her clothes.

***

He lay there, unable to sleep, while she snored softly at his side. He'd never tell her she snored. As a matter of fact, it had to be a pregnancy thing. She'd never snored before. He'd spent many sleepless nights lying at her side, watching her breathe, watching the way her lips would curl up into a smile during a happy dream. Not one snore had ever escaped.

His hand brushed her naked hip, and he saw that smile return to her face. God, he loved these nights. He loved every night with her. When she'd asked him to make love to her, he'd seen right into her soul. She was afraid. She was damaged, but who wasn't? She had a lot of problems in her past, and he had realized that she was still afraid of being left. He'd never leave her. He knew that. She had to know it now. Being away from her was painful. It physically hurt in his gut and his soul to be away from her for too long. It'd kill him to be away from her.

His hand moved to the slight swell in her belly, and he felt the skin shrink back in response. He smiled a little at that. Her body had its own rhythm, and that didn't stop, even when she was in her deepest of sleeps.

As he lay there, not a sound could penetrate the constant thrumming he heard from her body. Her slow, steady heartbeat. The tiny, faster heartbeat coming from their little mystery. Slower than a hummingbird's but faster than its mum's.

He sighed and lay back, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't concentrate. All he wanted to do was wake her up and stare into those beautiful green eyes. He wanted to kiss her and make her feel the happiness he felt right now. Every time he looked at her, he fell in love with her a little bit more. He couldn't help himself. He'd fallen long ago, but there was no end to whatever had opened up and swallowed him whole. He just kept falling, and when he looked into her eyes, he could see that she was still falling too.

He'd been damned to an eternal life of violence and murder. Now, he was a lover, a friend, and soon, he'd be a father. It was funny the way things changed.

Still, he couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he thought about the future and what that held in store. He felt a tightness in his chest. The anticipation was getting to him. He just wanted to know that everything was going to be alright.

With a sigh, he rolled toward her and placed a kiss to her soft lips. He then pulled himself out of bed and dressed. Fumbling around for the pack of smokes Buffy had yelled at him for buying, he headed downstairs and settled down on the back porch steps. He lit up and took a long drag before letting it out, the smoke curling up into the night air like breath fog on a winter's day.

But something else filled the air that night. The sound of footsteps carefully approaching from the trees had him on full alert. He stood up, peering out into the yard, letting the moonlight guide him. And when he saw a figure emerge from the trees, he swallowed hard, flicking his cigarette into the yard.

"Who are you?"

"It's not important who I am." It was a male voice, rough and menacing. He didn't recognize the face which was partially hidden beneath a cloak hood.

"I think it bloody well is," Spike replied, stepping down off the porch and coming up to stand in front of him. The man was older with a gray beard and piercing, yellow eyes. The demon in Spike immediately emerged to threaten the mysterious stranger. "You ought to talk, mate. It's been a long time since I've gone on the hunt, but you should know I'm not above hunting _you_."

"My name is Voraos_._"

"What do you want?"

"I've come to warn you." Spike's face shifted to human again, and he cocked his head to the side.

"What's the warning?"

"You're in terrible danger."

"Like I haven't heard that one before. Keep talking, mate."

"The Slayer is with child." Spike immediately reached to grab the man by the throat, but his hands moved through him.

"How do you…"

"I've come to warn you. Strong forces will target the child."

"It's mum is the Slayer. Not a surprise there, mate."

"You do not understand," Voraos pointed out. "This child, the child of a vampire and a Slayer—a human child—is unheard of." Spike swallowed hard, finding it more difficult now, as his throat had gone dry.

"You mean the demon world's gonna come in droves to hunt us?"

"The demon world does not care about your child. It is only one more target in the Slayer's life to them. It is human, therefore, not a threat."

"So what forces are coming, if it's not a legion of hell beasties?"

"Look within, vampire." With that, Voraos was gone, and Spike was left alone in the cool, night air.

"Oi! Vor-ay-yos! Come back here, you sodding piece of…" But the night was silent. "Oh, fucking Hell."

* * *

_Hope you liked the chapter! Lemme know what you think! :)_


	43. SelfDoubt

Chapter 43: Self-Doubt

"Voraos. How is it spelled?" Spike couldn't help but give Giles a 'you've got to be kidding me' look.

"Let me think. Hmm…nope, he didn't stick around long enough for a sodding spelling bee." Giles cast an annoyed glance at Spike but went on.

"Tell me exactly what he said again."

"For the last time, Rupert, all he said is that we're in danger. And he said to look within, whatever the bloody hell that means. Look within what? Within myself? Within the city limits? Could mean any sodding thing. Bloke wasn't very precise." He leaned back in the chair at the Magic Box. Buffy paced in front of the table, while Giles sat there looking through books.

"So something wants to hurt my baby? Can't say I'm surprised."

"Spike, you said that he said forces _will_ target the child. Not that they're targeting it now."

"Yeah, but I don't see what difference it makes. Whether they're after it now or later, doesn't make it any better."

"But he said demons don't care. That it's just something else for them to target to get to me. So who is it? A witch? A god?" She shuddered at the memory of Glory. "I wanna know what's after my baby so I can stop it before it's too late."

"Here," Giles gasped, pushing his glasses up. "Voraos." Buffy stopped pacing, and Spike leaned forward to listen to the Watcher's words. "Voraos is an ancient prophet."

"Oh great. I'm prophecy girl again."

"No, not necessarily. Voraos works differently. He appears out of the ether to warn of upcoming challenges and trials. His words may not bear any meaning at the time they're spoken."

"So…you're saying he's telling us this is going to happen, but nobody's after the baby right now?" Spike deducted.

"Quite possibly," Giles considered.

"So this Voraos guy isn't evil?" Buffy wondered. "He's just telling us to look out?"

"I'm the only other person besides Wesley that knows about the baby, correct?"

"Well, Dawn knows now," Buffy pointed out. "But I don't think she's looking to destroy her shot at being an aunt. And Wesley? He seemed pretty ok with the whole thing." She looked at Spike. "You didn't tell anybody, did you?"

"'Course not." Buffy nodded.

"Ok, and I didn't. And Giles?" At his annoyed glance, she shrugged. "Just checking." She frowned and grabbed the book Giles was reading from. "Ok, so Voraos was warning you that somebody's gonna come after our baby. Somebody within. Like…Council within?" Spike's eyes widened at the thought.

"It's very possible," Giles agreed. "They may sign my paychecks, but I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them." He shook his head. "Still, we can't be sure of anything. Not until the truth is out. And when are you planning on letting others know about the baby?"

"After Xander and Anya get back from their trip," Buffy replied. "But I'm starting to think that's not such a good idea. I mean, if word gets out about me having this baby…what's gonna happen? I mean, demons are gonna be coming after me thinking I'm weak now. And I'm gonna have to worry about the things this Voraos guy said coming true."

"Buffy, we'll take every precaution to insure yours and the baby's safety," Giles assured her.

"Yeah," Buffy said quietly. "Scary thing is…this doesn't feel any different than any other day in my life? Except it's not just me I'm trying to save now." He placed her hand on her stomach. "Looks like I'm just gonna have to be more careful from now on."

***

Patrol that night was a bust. Buffy and Spike hadn't run into any demons or new vampires. Both were glad they could turn in early. Dawn was staying at a friend's for the night, and Willow and Tara were pulling an all-nighter at the Magic Box researching protection spells and other things.

Buffy was the first to speak when she and Spike entered the bedroom.

"So what do we do? We just…wait until we tell people we're pregnant, and then we wait for…for what? Dissention in the ranks?"

"Dunno," Spike said quietly, as he and Buffy changed into their sleepwear. Spike's consisted of absolutely nothing, while Buffy settled on a comfy pair of stretchy pants and a white tank top. Then they piled into bed together.

He immediately moved to a position he normally found himself in at night. Facing her, his hand on her belly.

"Won't let anything happen to you. Either of you. You know I'd die before I let anything happen, right?" Buffy smiled a little and nodded.

"I know that. I just wish…" She shook her head, hating all this confusion. "I just wish what Voraos said was a lot clearer. I hate not knowing."

"Just take it a step at a time, luv. That's all we can do."

"I know. You're right," she agreed. She smiled a little and leaned in to kiss him.

"Let's get some rest, yeah? Feel a lot better in the morning." She nodded in agreement, reached over to turn out the light, and curled herself into his arms to fall asleep against his chest.

***

"_Spike, the baby!" Buffy exclaimed, as she rushed down the hall to the nursery. Spike was right behind her. The shattering glass in the room down the hall was enough to make them pick up the pace. As they reached the room, Buffy saw the demon standing over the child's crib. He reached in, and the child began to wail._

"_No!" Spike screamed. He lunged at the demon, which reached out, knocking him back against the wall. Buffy went in wielding a battle ax in one hand, and she forced the demon around and out of the nursery. Spike moved to check on the child. He saw the pink-faced, squalling infant kicking its feet in the air, little fists flying as if it were attacking the demon. But when he lifted it out of the crib, he noticed a scratch on the poor child's cheek. The demon had hurt it._

"_S'alright," he whispered, holding the child close to his chest. But the scent of blood filled his nostrils, and he felt his hunger growing. The demon inside of him roared. No. It couldn't be like this. He hadn't tasted a drop of human blood in…God, how long had it been? The thought of it made the desire burn deeper. "No!" _

_The roars of the demon in the hall echoed those of the demon in his body, and he pulled the child back, looking down at its helpless form. He brushed his finger over the cheek, gathering the warm blood there. Just a taste, he thought. Before he could stop himself, he brought his finger to his mouth and drank down the droplet of pure human blood. The most powerful blood he'd ever tasted. It was all that was needed to bring the demon out. His face changed, and the child stared up at him, shocked into silence, fear glistening in her tear-filled eyes. _

"_Spike?" Spike turned to look into Buffy's eyes, the same eyes their child had. But he saw fear fill those eyes too when Buffy saw the demon in him, blood staining his lip. "No! Spike!" But before she could move to stop him, he held the child up, exposing its tender little neck, and then he sank his fangs deep within._

***

"No!" he screamed, sitting up in bed, fear paralyzing him as Buffy sat up next to him.

"Oh God. Spike? What is it?" she asked frantically, placing her hand on his bare back. He shrunk away from her.

"No…don't…oh God, stay away from me."

"Spike?!"

"Don't…I…" Buffy turned on the bedside lamp and looked into his fear-filled eyes.

"Spike? What happened?" She got out of bed and moved around to stand in front of him. She placed her hands on his shoulders. "Spike? What is it? What happened?" He was shaking now, and she began to rub her hands up and down his arms. But it didn't help. "It was a dream, wasn't it?"

"I hurt the baby," he breathed. "It was me, Buffy."

"No," she whispered. "The baby's ok. The baby's fine…here…feel." She took his hand in hers and placed it over the barely-there bump. He let his hand linger there for only a moment before withdrawing it.

"I drank from it. I…I hurt the…"

"Spike!" Buffy exclaimed, "it was just a dream."

"He said 'look within,'" he panted. "It's me. I'm gonna hurt our baby." Buffy felt the fear rising inside of her, but she wasn't afraid of him. She was afraid of what these thoughts were going to do to him.

"No, baby," she breathed. "You're not…you're just afraid. Your dreams are just…they're not real, Spike. Our baby's fine."

"He said…he said…strong forces. What's stronger than a vampire?" he wondered. Buffy placed her hand against his cheek and looked into his eyes.

"A Slayer." Spike blinked a couple of times. "Strong forces could mean anything, Spike. It's not you. I know it's not."

"How can you…I don't want to…" He rubbed his temples and moved away from her. "I can't hurt the baby. I can't hurt you."

"You won't."

"You don't know, Buffy. You just…"

"Spike, please…just stop. Please." But he was pulling his clothes on. "What are you doing?"

"I can't…I need to…I can't be here. I'm not safe."

"Spike," Buffy pleaded, tears forming in her eyes. "Don't do this!"

"Just to be safe," he uttered. "Please…don't stop me. I have to go."

"No!" she screamed, not caring if she woke up the entire neighborhood. "Listen to me! It's not you! It can't be you!" She pulled her arms around him, trying to use her own strength to keep him from leaving. But he was too upset. He wriggled out of her arms easily, and he moved to the door, turning to face her.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this. Not if it means hurting my family." And with that, he was gone, and she couldn't even move. It was like a dream; a dream where her feet felt cemented to the floor, and she couldn't run to save her life.

* * *

_I know...I know. Short chapter. Let me know what you thought! Thanks!_


	44. Look Within

Chapter 44: Look Within

After the shock had worn off, she'd reluctantly decided to wait until sunup to go after him. She knew he'd gone to his crypt, but if she went to him in the daylight, there'd be no running away. She wanted to be angry at him; wanted to feel some sort of rage toward him, but she couldn't. She knew he wasn't running away from _them_ or their baby. He was running away from himself, because some old prophet guy had told him something that made him doubt himself.

Just before sunup, she dressed and made her way out of the house and over to Restfield Cemetery. It was all she could do to put one foot in front of the other. She hadn't slept after he'd gone. She'd just lay there thinking about all of their conversations in the past couple of months. They'd put these insecurities behind them at Xander and Anya's wedding. They were in this for the long haul, and she wasn't letting him back out now.

The moment she reached Spike's crypt, she could smell the scent of smoke from the lit candles. She thought about knocking, but desperate times called for desperate measures. After a few swift bangs with her foot, the door flew open and dimly lit a path to Spike's old chair, where he was not sitting.

She could see the glow of torchlight coming from his underground room. Swiftly, she made her way across the crypt and started down the steps. She could hear him moving around in there, and she prepared herself for what she was going to say to him.

The moment her feet hit the stone floor beneath, she narrowed her eyes and peered around for any sign of him. There he was, sitting on the edge of the bed, obviously no sign of sleep in his haggard features.

"What're you doing here?"

"I'm here to kick your ass." She marched across the room and stood in front of him. He stared her stylish yet affordable boots. "I seem to recall promising you that if something like this happened again, I'd kick your ass. So get up, Spike. Let's have this out." He looked up at her, his eyes sad; weary. He realized that despite her even tone, her eyes matched his.

"Buffy…"

"No. You don't get to talk. I get to talk. Because I remember not so long ago you promising me you were going to stay. The long haul, remember? Neither one of us are backing out, because we have this bond." She placed her hand on her stomach. "You left me, Spike."

"I didn't leave you. I was…I was protecting you."

"Bull. You were protecting yourself, and you know it. You're afraid of slipping. You're afraid of screwing up so bad that your dreams are twisting the words of some ancient prophet and playing tricks on your mind."

"He said 'look within,' Buffy. And I had that dream. It was so real. It was…"

"It was a _dream_, hence the not being real. Spike, you can't keep running. You haven't slipped. The only human blood you've had is mine, and that's because I _let _you drink from me. And you always know when to stop. You love this baby. I know you'd never hurt it."

"What he said, Buffy…" Buffy sighed heavily and sat down next to him on the bed.

"You love our baby. You wouldn't target it. I mean, that doesn't even make any sense."

"But what if…"

"What if what? You can control yourself. You've done that for how long now? Come on, Spike. You can't for one second tell me that you've ever thought about hurting our baby."

"I haven't. I just…what if…"

"No! It's not you, Spike. I've seen the way you are…the way you talk to the baby, especially when you think I'm sleeping." She smiled a little. "You'd never hurt it. You'd never hurt me. I trust you, Spike. I trust you more than anyone." Spike snapped his gaze up to hers.

"Maybe you shouldn't."

"Maybe you're being an idiot." She sighed with frustration. "You think you're the first soon-to-be father who's worried about not doing the right thing? You think you're the first to…to dream about doing something so horrible?" She swallowed hard. "I'll let you in on a little secret. Soon-to-be moms? Not so carefree either. I had a dream last week that I took the baby on patrol with me, and instead of staking the vampire…" She couldn't finish that sentence. His features softened, and he looked down again. "My point is, Spike, they're just dreams. I know the difference between a prophetic dream and a regular, fear-induced nightmare."

"You're starting to sound like your Watcher."

"He has some good points most of the time," she said quietly. "When I want to listen, anyway." She placed her hand on his shoulder. "You don't want to walk away?"

"How can you ask me that?" Spike asked, eyes boring into hers. "I want this more than…more than anything. But what if…"

"Oh stop it! Stop asking that question. We've never been parents before. We're bound to screw it up a time or two, but you know what? Mistakes happen. But we love this baby too much to let something bad happen. This baby's gonna be fine, Spike. But if you're gonna keep walking away every time you get a little freaked out, then I can't do this with you." Her throat felt like it was going to close up.

"Buffy…"

"I love you, Spike. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes. Like right now. Like last night. You walked out on me, Spike, and you told me you wouldn't do that. I know you thought it was the right thing to do, but all it was…you let this guy get to you. You let him feed on your worries and make them grow." She watched as his shoulders slumped, and he so very much reminded her of a little boy just now. "Spike, you can't keep doing this. You can't. If there's any doubt in your mind about having this baby with me, tell me now, because as much as it'll kill me to do this without you, it'd be better to…to make a clean break before…"

"No!" he spat, standing up and turning toward her. Buffy stood too, coming face to face with him.

"Then grow up, Spike! You have to be a man and not some scared little boy. You're not gonna hurt this baby. Nobody is, do you hear me?"

"I want this, Buffy. I do. I want to be there for you and for her." He motioned toward her stomach. "But the prophecy…"

"You need to pick it apart again, Spike. He told you demons would only be interested in the baby because she's mine. Just another way to get to me, right? Well, how would that work in your case? Huh? I thought you gave up wanting me dead years ago."

"Well," he said quietly, her reasoning somehow making more sense now. "Yeah."

"It's not you, baby," she whispered, taking his hands in hers. "It's not. You'd never hurt our baby. I believe in you."

"I wouldn't. I never…" He was shaking now. She placed her hands on his shoulders, moving closer to him, looking into his eyes.

"You wouldn't," she agreed with a nod. Finally, she sighed, knowing she had to say what she was about to say if any of this was going to work. "I know we said this was a forever thing. I know we said that nobody got to walk away. But if you can't see that this baby needs you in its life; if you're gonna walk away again…maybe next time I won't come after you." Spike froze beneath her touch. "I love you, Spike, more than I ever thought I could. But I need you to fight. I need you to fight all of your worries and your fears, because I have a lot of my own that I'm dealing with. I can't walk away from our baby. She's here with me, every day, growing and getting stronger. I can feel her, and I can feel that she needs you." Spike felt a tear slide down his cheek. "You won't hurt her, baby. I know you won't. Please, just trust me. Trust yourself, ok?"

Spike nodded.

"A girl can only be walked away from so many times before she wonders if maybe she's supposed to be alone. I don't want that, ok? I want you. You understand?" Spike nodded. Buffy sighed with relief. "Good. Now if I ever see that Voraos guy, I'm so kicking his ass."

"He's kind of incorporeal," Spike managed weakly.

"Oh. Well, I'll just glare at him a lot then." Spike cocked his head to the side.

"Why are you trying to make this better for me? I walked away from you, and…" She held up her hand to stop him.

"Because I'm starting to realize I'm not the only one with mood swings," she grinned. "If I get to be a head case for nine months, I guess you do too. But I'm warning you, Spike. Next time? I _will_ kick your ass."

"I thought you said you'd let me go?"

"I lied. Picture me as that novelty wedding cake topper where the bride's dragging the groom by his collar, ok?" She saw the smile curl up on his lips. "I need to you talk to me when you feel like this. Not to sound like my parents or anything, but we're a team. We're in this together."

"God, I was such an idiot," Spike muttered, putting his head in his hands.

"Little bit," she winced.

"I swear I don't know why you're being so bloody nice to me. Couple of years ago you'd have put a stake in my heart."

"A couple of years ago, I wouldn't have let you in my pants." She caught his glare and smiled.

"I wanna take you away."

"What?"

"Let's go somewhere," Spike suggested. "Someplace far away from all of this."

"Like where, Spike?"

"I dunno. Anywhere. Just wanna take you away." Buffy smiled a little.

"You have no idea how good that sounds. But, I have to stay. Evil's ass awaits my foot." She scrunched her nose up at her own line but shrugged. "We're here in your bachelor pad. That's far enough away for now, isn't it?"

"Thought you didn't like it here?"

"Didn't say I didn't like it here. It's quiet," she said softly. They both settled back down on the bed, and he pulled her into his arms, lying back against the pillows. She sighed, resting her head against his chest. "Feels like nothing can touch us here, you know?"

"Mmm," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. He sighed softly, wondering how he'd gone from being completely lost this morning to having the woman he loves back in his arms. He shook his head a little. She was too good to him, really, giving him all these chances to make it right. He knew in his heart he'd never hurt his child, but it worried him that he'd let this prophet get to him the way he had. Next time he saw him, which he hoped he never would, he was going to give him a piece of his mind.

After a few minute, he heard her sight against him, and he gently shook her shoulder.

"Buffy?" She didn't answer. He smiled a little and nuzzled her hair with his cheek. He strengthened his hold around her and closed his eyes, letting sleep wash over him too.

***

"I'm not finding _anything,_ Giles," Willow muttered as she closed the thirteenth book she'd looked through that day. "What exactly did he say, again?"

"He told Spike that…that Buffy was in danger."

"What kind of danger though? I mean, she's always in danger." Giles looked at Willow and Tara. They knew there was something he wasn't telling them. All he'd been able to tell them last night was that a prophet had come to Spike and warned him of an impending danger. He couldn't tell them it was because Buffy was pregnant.

"Danger? There's danger?" Everyone turned to see Anya and Xander standing there, both looking slightly more tanned than usual and equally happy.

"You're back!" Willow chirped. "How was the honeymoon?"

"Hot," Xander said quickly.

"Yes. We had lots of sex," Anya smiled.

"I meant…the weather was hot, sweetie, but I'm sure they could have guessed the rest."

"Yeah, well," Tara interrupted, clearing her throat, "you're back in time to help us research.

"Who's the big bad this time?" Xander asked, as he and Anya made their way across the shop hand in hand.

"No one exactly. We're not sure," Giles pointed out, picking up another book. "Spike was visited by the prophet Voraos."

"Who now?"

"Voraos?" Anya asked. "I've heard of him. He's the prophet that warns about impending…oh…"

"What?" Xander wondered, turning his head to look at his wife.

"Impending danger," Anya muttered. "Welcome back to the Hellmouth."

"Where's Buffy?"

"Probably at home," Willow suggested. "We didn't make it back last night. We spent an entire night here and found nothing." Giles shifted uncomfortably behind one of the chairs. Xander narrowed his eyes.

"Wait a minute. You know something."

"What?"

"There's something you're not telling us."

"Is that true, Giles?" Willow asked.

"No. I…"

"What's going on, guys?" Everyone turned again to see Buffy and Spike walking hand in hand into the shop. The sun wasn't completely down, but Spike carried his blanket with him. He draped it over the counter.

"Researching your creepy prophet," Tara muttered. "We haven't found anything." Buffy's eyes went wide when she spotted Xander and Anya.

"You guys are back already?"

"Gee, we missed you too, Buff." Xander moved over and gave his friend a hug. She let go of Spike's hand temporarily.

"Have a good time?"

"Yeah. We had fun."

"And by fun, he means…"

"We get it, Anya!" Willow and Tara called in unison. They glanced at each other and smiled knowingly. Dawn came walking out of the back room. Giles had promised to pay her if she'd straighten up the training room and not break anything.

"Hey guys," Dawn said with a broad smile. "Have a good honeymoon?"

"Yep. Hey Dawnster. How've you been?"

"Same," Dawn shrugged. Dawn caught her sister's gaze.

"Hey! Oh, are you guys telling now?"

"Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Telling what?"

"Wil, it's…" Buffy looked at Spike at a loss for words. He shrugged.

"Probably better tell them, kitten," he suggested. "They're all here, after all, and nobody's gonna know what to look for until they know." Xander glanced at Anya and mouthed 'kitten?'

"Yeah. You're right." Buffy let out a sigh and walked over with Spike to sit down at the research table. With each step she took, she could feel the questions building up in each of her friends' minds. She couldn't believe she was about to tell them she was pregnant. She'd wanted to wait a little longer, but with this warning from Voraos, it was best if the Scoobies knew what they were getting into, just in case.

"What's going on?" Anya asked, as she and Xander scooted in between Willow and Tara. Dawn and Giles both gathered around, despite already knowing what was about to be revealed.

"Ok, you guys know about how when we were in L.A., Spike and I…you know…claimed each other?" Everyone was silent, glancing around at each other nervously before looking back at the Slayer. "Ok, well, something…happened."

"You mean, besides the burning sensation where he bit you?" Anya concluded.

"Uh, yeah," Buffy nodded. "Something pretty big." She found it hard to swallow. "Well, what happened, and…and before anybody jumps to any conclusions about evil or something, we've already had it checked out, and everything's fine and totally not evil."

"You're not making any sense, Buffy," Willow said slowly, eyebrows furrowing together.

"Right," Buffy muttered. "Uh…" She looked at Spike for help.

"Oh." He cleared his throat, plastered a grin on his face, pulled his arm around his lady and leaned back in his chair. "We're having a baby." Everyone gaped at Spike and then looked to Buffy with the same slack-jawed expression. They were waiting for confirmation. She just smiled and nodded.

"I'm seven weeks pregnant. It's human. Spike's the father. We're keeping it. Oh, and it's not evil. I think that covers it, right Spike?"

"Wait a minute. You're having a what now?" Xander looked back and forth from Buffy to Spike. "I mean…how? Wait, not how. I know how. But…how?!"

"We believe that it was because of the claim. Vampires cannot procreate, but since the literature tells of many possible outcomes with claims, it's possible that this is why."

"And the math adds up," Buffy pointed out. "But I'm sure you don't want the details."

"Uh, no thanks."

"Wow…a…a baby?" Willow wondered, her tone apprehensive but supportive. She reached over and took Buffy's hand. "And you're happy?" Buffy smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. I'm really happy." She squeezed her friend's hand.

"Congratulations," Willow grinned. "I'm gonna be an Aunt."

"Yeah, but I'm the only _related_ aunt," Dawn insisted.

"You knew, Dawn?" Anya wondered.

"Well, yeah. I haven't known very long though."

"Uh, Giles, Spike and I need to clear something up with you."

"What's that?"

"Voraos told Spike that the baby means nothing to the demon world."

"Right."

"So that would mean vampires too, right?"

"Well, yes, I suppose it would." Buffy nudged Spike.

"See."

"See what?" Buffy looked at Spike, and he looked down.

"Had a dream I hurt the baby," he muttered. He could sense Xander about to speak up, and he snapped his head up. "But I wouldn't. Wouldn't ever do a thing to hurt it."

"He wouldn't Giles. I told him that it's probably just him worrying about being a dad."

"I'm no psychologist, but I would have to agree with Buffy. You have a soul, Spike. And as much as it pains me to admit it…you've been a very doting father-to-be thus far." Xander glanced at Giles like he'd grown another head. "He's been quite supportive of Buffy, and the last thing she needs is…well, the opposite." Spike stared up at Buffy's Watcher, incredulous that he'd just defended him. But, he didn't want to say anything to ruin the moment.

"So…" Tara murmured, "the baby of a vampire and a Slayer. That's…"

"Unprecedented," Giles finished.

"Yeah," Anya said with a slow release of breath. "This isn't fair."

"What, sweetie?"

"We're the married ones. We're supposed to be the first ones to have babies."

"Gee Anya, I'm sorry I miraculously got pregnant with a child—probably the only one I'll ever have—that wouldn't exist under normal circumstances before you got pregnant up with the first of probably many babies."

"It's ok," Anya shrugged. Buffy rolled her eyes and looked at Xander.

"I know this is a shock," she murmured carefully, "but I want you to be in my baby's life. You're gonna be Uncle Xander, after all." Xander seemed to perk up at the idea. "The baby'll have plenty of aunties, but there's only one uncle in this group." She glanced at Giles. "Well, except for you, of course. But you'd be like…like a great uncle or something." She made a face and dismissed it.

"Uncle Xander," Xander thought out. "I kinda like the sound of that. Even if it is the spawn of Captain Peroxide over here." Spike moved to give him the finger, but Buffy held his hand down.

"Hey. I thought you two were starting to get along."

"Yeah, but then he goes and knocks up one of my best friends. Forgive me for being a little…you know…"

"A little what?"

"I don't know. I'll think of it later." He sighed. "If you're happy, Buff, and if that thing coming out of you doesn't try to eat any of your friends…well, I'm happy too."

"Aw, thanks, Xand. That's…sweet."

"Ok." Buffy let out a breath she'd been holding for a few moments. "So now that you're all up to speed, the only thing I can say is…if Dana calls, don't mention this to her."

"Why not?"

"'Look within,'" Spike quoted. "Could be the Council. We know she's got them sniffing at her skirt."

"Dana doesn't wear skirts." Xander looked at his wife with exasperation but let it go.

"So, I guess we keep looking for more info on this Voraos guy, and…what?"

"Buffy doesn't patrol alone," Spike spoke up.

"Huh?" She glanced at him warily.

"Remember what happened the other night?" Buffy frowned and nodded.

"You're right."

"So, the Scoobies'll be on the prowl again?" Willow noted. "I could go for a little vamp dusting." Everyone stared at her. "What? It's good for stress relief, and with exams coming up and everything…"

"Look at you, Wil. You're so badass," Dawn grinned. Willow smiled sheepishly. Buffy sat back and watched her friends talk about how they were going to help her protect the baby from either accidents during patrol or whatever inside evil was going to rear its head and come for the kid. It was nice to not argue or feel tense around them.

She reached over and took Spike's hand in hers, and nobody batted an eyelash. For the first time in a long time, she didn't feel like she was being judged. She felt like the different pieces of her life were slowly coming together. And she smiled.

* * *

_Hey guys! Thanks for reading. Let me know what you thought of the chapter! I always love to read feedback!_


	45. Road to Redemption

Chapter 45: Road to Redemption

"Oh my God," Buffy moaned as she hung her head over the toilet. "I'm never eating again." Spike sat on the edge of the bathtub gently rubbing her back. "Are you secretly feeding me at night or something, because how is it possible to have this much…ugh…" She retched again, and Spike grimaced but held her hair back for her. "Ok. Ok. I think I'm done." She flushed the toilet and stood up on shaky legs. Spike helped her over to the sink, and she groaned when she looked at herself.

Her face was sticky with sweat but it was paler than a sheet, and she had dark circles under her eyes.

"You look beautiful, pet."

"Oh shut up. You're just saying that so you can try and get some. Well, I'm not in the mood." Spike just smirked at her, dampened a wash cloth with cold water, and dabbed at her face, while she brushed her teeth. "Evil…horny…man." He chuckled at her as she garbled her words between brushstrokes. She spat the toothpaste out in the sink and rinsed. "And we have to find a new doctor. Ours is an idiot."

"What?"

"She says I've _lost_ weight. _Lost? _I can't fit into any of my jeans, and my comfy pants aren't comfy anymore! I'm a whale." He thought for a moment about reminding her that all the morning sickness she'd been having probably hadn't helped her in the weight department. But, she didn't look like she was in the mood for it. He went for the best thing he could think. It was the truth, but he knew she wouldn't buy it.

"You're sexy," he reminded her.

"Right. A sexy, sweaty, puking whale." She turned and lifted up her shirt, examining her belly in the mirror. It still wasn't huge, but it had grown quite a bit in the past month. They'd already had a preliminary doctor's appointment and then a second appointment. First scans of their budding baby were taped to the fridge and framed on the end tables downstairs.

Nothing out of the ordinary had occurred in regards to the demon community. Slaying was at its usual two-per-night average, and Buffy had an entire team with her when she went anywhere. Willow and Tara would cast confusion spells, Giles, Anya, and Xander would hold crosses, and she and Spike would do most of the fighting. Except now, she felt nauseated a lot, and she'd actually thrown up on one of her vamp kills before dusting him. Not a pleasant way to go, even for a vampire.

Maybe Buffy felt miserable, but Spike was enjoying the perks of this pregnancy. Her breasts were swelling. They still weren't huge, but they were a little bigger, and despite the fact that he reassured her that her normal size was just right, he decided to partake in enjoying this new size while it lasted. She'd slap his head and call him a 'perv', and he'd spend a few hours showing her just how much of a 'perv' she was herself.

She was coming to the close of her eleventh week, and she was definitely feeling it. She fell right to sleep most nights, though she tried to make sure Spike didn't feel too neglected. He was taking it like a champ though, and when she was feeling up it, he'd take advantage of every curve on her pregnant body.

She was still thin in the arms and the legs, but her belly was definitely noticeable. She would sometimes wake up feeling Spike's hand caressing the smooth skin, trying to feel the baby, though the doctor explained to them that it would be a few weeks before Buffy would feel anything, and even longer before Spike could feel for himself.

Padding back into the bedroom followed by Spike, Buffy slipped out of her pajamas and stood in nothing but her underwear in front of her mirror. Spike came around behind her, wrapping his arms around her, cradling her belly in his hands. He placed soft kisses to her shoulder, and she smiled, leaning into his touch.

Just as he dipped one hand further, sneaking his fingers into her underwear and caressing her soft mound, the phone rang, and Buffy groaned.

"I'll kill whoever it is for interrupting," he growled into her ear. She smirked at the invisible air around her in the mirror, and she turned to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Buffy? It's Dana."

"Dana! Hey…um, what's going on?"

"I was just calling to see how everyone's doing."

"We're…we're ok. I thought you'd be back by now."

"Yeah. Well, the evaluation's going longer than I thought, so the Council's got another Watcher training me."

"Oh. So when do you think you're coming back?"

"I'm not sure. I'm learning a lot here, actually. Mr. Travers isn't sure he's satisfied with my progress yet."

"Figures," Buffy muttered. "I'll tell Giles you called."

"Thanks, B." Buffy froze.

"What'd you call me?"

"Huh? Oh…I don't know. What'd I say?"

"You called me 'B.'"

"Huh. That's…kinda weird," Dana laughed. "You can call me 'D' if you want. Look, I've gotta go. Mr. Travers is staring at me like some watchdog."

"Oh…ok. Well, call back soon?"

"Yeah. Bye!" The line went dead, and Buffy frowned, hanging up the phone.

"What'd she want?"

"She was checking in." She turned to Spike.

"S'wrong?"

"She called me 'B.'"

"Yeah?"

"That's…that's what Faith called me."

"Oh," Spike said quietly. "Right. She knows Faith?"

"No. No, she doesn't. That's what's weird."

"Maybe it slipped out?"

"Yeah, you're probably right." Buffy frowned and placed her hand on her stomach. "It's weird to think about Faith right now. I know she's in prison, trying to make up for what she did. But there's so much that went down between us…A few years ago, I think she'd have been thrilled that I was pregnant just so she could enjoy tearing the baby out of me herself." She shuddered.

"But it's past now, luv," he assured her, running his fingers through her soft, blonde hair. "She's locked up; key's thrown away. Nothing to worry about now, right?"

"I guess." Buffy sighed and slumped down on the bed. "And I'm not looking forward to Dana coming back. I just…I know the sooner she gets back, the sooner she'll let it slip to the council about the baby, whether she means to or not." Spike sat down next to her.

"S'only a matter of time before they find out."

"I know. I just don't feel ready to take on whatever the Council has to throw at me. 'Look within.' It has to be them. Too bad that Voraos guy doesn't make follow-up visits. I mean, he could at least stop in. 'Hey, figure out my mysterious words yet? No? Well, here it is, all spelled out in black and white.'" She frowned. "Stupid prophets and their prophecies."

***

"I want a baby."

"Huh?"

"I want a baby. Let's make one."

"An, we just got married."

"Which means it's time to start trying. I mean, I've only got a measly twenty or twenty five years left of childbearing years left." Xander furrowed his brows and walked around the counter at the Magic Box.

"Sweetie, we've got lots of time to have babies. Do you _really_ think we're ready for that?"

"Well, I'm making money now, and you've got a great job. Why not? Buffy and Spike's baby will need a playmate."

"You want our baby to have a playmate that might try to eat it?"

"Oi! I'm standing right here," Spike announced.

"And so am I," Buffy muttered. "No, our baby won't be eating anybody else's, but I'm pretty sure it's trying to make me puke myself to death."

"Ah-hah! Evil!"

"No, normal," Buffy replied, sitting down at the research table. "You know how doctors tell pregnant women to increase their calories, blah blah blah? Well how am I supposed to do that if everything I put in my mouth comes back up?"

"Do we really have to talk about vomit? I mean, it's going to scare away the customers."

"What customers? You're not open yet!"

"Sorry. You don't have to take my head off." Anya announced, moving over to flip over the Open sign.

"Sorry." Buffy frowned and put her hands on her stomach. "Xander? Spike won't tell me the truth. Do I look fat?" Xander looked at Spike for help.

"Oh no. You're on your own, mate."

"C'mon…"

"Nope. You made that crack about our baby eating your baby. Suffer." Xander looked at Buffy and knelt down in front of her. Spike rolled his eyes. "Ponce."

"Buff, you look great. You have that natural pregnant glow."

"Well, you would too if you spent your entire morning hanging over the toilet bowl."

"Can we _not_ talk about vomit? Please?" Anya asked, marching back over to the register.

"Ok, what would you like to talk about, Anya? Oh! I know. Spike and I were discussing the baby's room. We're thinking a bunny rabbit theme. What do you think?" Anya's eyes widened, and she stomped her foot.

"Xander, she's making fun of me."

"Oh, I wouldn't do that."

"Yes you are! I don't like pregnant Buffy. She's…mean. And sweaty." Buffy felt her own forehead and grimaced.

The door opened, and Giles came strolling in with his morning coffee and two newspapers. One to keep up on things in the U.S. of A. and the other to keep up to speed on the goings on of his mother country.

"Giles? Could you tell Buffy not to talk about bunnies? You know how that freaks me out and ultimately affects my work."

"Buffy, don't mention bunnies to Anya," Giles muttered, sipping his cup of coffee.

"Hey! Don't talk to me like a kid. I'm a mom now too."

"Not for another 6 months or so," Anya pointed out. "I've read about human gestation." She wrinkled her nose at Buffy. "Nine months is nothing compared to the gestation of a vengeance demon. An old friend of mine was pregnant for three years before she had her baby. But it turned out to be a fire-breathing demon that killed her right after the birth…" Buffy's eyes grew wide.

"Stop talking now," she pleaded. Anya shrugged her shoulders.

"Don't have to worry about that, pet. Remember? Bitty Buffy's all human."

"So it's a girl? You found out then?" Xander asked, eyebrows raised.

"No," Buffy smirked. "Spike's dead-set on it being a girl."

"Emphasis on the word _dead_."

"Xander," Buffy warned.

"What?" The door to the shop opened again, and a few customers trickled in. Giles cleared his throat as if to put a halt to the talk of mystical pregnancies until the customers left. Buffy frowned and opened up a pregnancy book while Spike started reading through some book on demons.

They'd all but given up on researching the Voraos for now. All they could find about him was that he was a prophet. Well, he'd come to Spike, spoken his prophecy and left. Giles was fairly certain he wouldn't return again. The bigger concern now was keeping Buffy and the baby safe from whatever inside danger was looming. Because the prophecy was so vague, the possibilities of where this danger was coming from were numerous, and that's what scared Buffy most of all.

***

"I'm getting phone calls now?" She shrugged out of the grips of the two guards that held her arms, but before she could take a step ahead of them, they had her roughly in their hands again. It was all she could do to keep from busting their heads in, but she couldn't do that. Not now. Not when she still had a lot of time to do for a lot of nasty mistakes. She didn't want to add two more life sentences to her already bleak future.

"Just keep moving, Lehane." The gruff guard gripped her arm tightly. They led her into a little room that had nothing but an old phone hanging on the wall, receiver resting on top. They let her inside the room and shut the door, sliding a steel lock into place to avoid an attempted escape.

Faith moved slowly toward the phone, wondering who in the hell would be calling her? It wasn't Angel. He'd helped her. He'd done what he'd had to do, and she was sure she'd never see him again. It wouldn't be Buffy. No way in Hell could she ever expect to hear from her again.

"Hello?" she asked, as she brought the receiver to her ear.

"Faith Lehane?"

"Who's this?"

"You don't need to know that right now."

"Then why don't I just hang up?"

"Because if you do, you won't hear my proposition." Faith was silent for a moment.

"Proposition?"

"What would you say if I told you I could move you out of prison?"

"Legally?" There was no answer. "I'd say you must have some kind of power to be able to do that." There was a soft chuckle.

"You're on the road to redemption, Miss Lehane. I understand that better than you'd think. Believe me, I do."

"So what? You want me to work for you? Be your right hand?"

"Yes. Yes, I want you to work for me. But not just me. For the innocent people in this world."

"And you trust me to do that? I'm in prison for murder, dumbass. I'm doing my part by staying under lock and key."

"You really see it that way?" When there was no answer, the voice continued to speak. "You think you're helping the world by staying behind bars, when you hold a power so great that…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you know I'm a Slayer. Big deal."

"It is a very big deal, Faith."

"I'm staying put. I don't work for anybody, man. Last time I did that, it got me eight months in a coma."

"If you come to work for me, you'll be using your Slayer powers to fight the forces of evil. You'll be doing a Slayer's job, not an assassin's."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I don't expect you to believe anything else."

"Yeah, well, believe this. I'm not going anywhere. This is where I belong. This is where I'm staying."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Faith didn't answer. "No, I didn't think so. You made mistakes. We all have. It makes us human. What matters is what you do with the rest of your time here. Would you rather be watching the hours tick by from your cramped little prison cell, or would you rather be out there ridding the world of evil, one demon at a time?" Still no answer. "Faith? Are you there?"

"What's your name?" She heard a chuckle on the other line.

"Very well then. My name is Quentin Travers, and I'm with the Watcher's Council." He heard her breath hitch in her chest. "I realize we haven't been on the best of terms in the past, Miss Lehane…"

"I get it. I get it. You just want me in your custody so you can lock me up and do whatever the hell it is you were gonna do to me in the past."

"I'm offering you the chance to start over, Faith. The chance to get back the life you lost years ago. Put the past behind you for good. So what do you say?" When he didn't receive a response from her, he took that as a yes. "When would you like us to arrange your transfer?"

* * *

_Thanks for reading! Leave me some feedback....please! I'd appreciate to know what you're thinking about the story!_


	46. Late Night Chat

Chapter 46: Late Night Chat

"Ow! Son of a…" Buffy grunted and did a partial somersault, using her legs to send the newborn vamp flying back into a tree.

"Buff, another one!" Xander called, as he and Anya lunged into the second vampire's path. Spike, sending one glance in the Slayer's direction, chose to give the Scoobies a hand with the other vampire. Buffy, even in her hormonal, queasy state, could still kick ass like no other.

"Tara!" Willow tossed a stake at her girlfriend, who was hiding behind a tree, waiting for the perfect moment to attack. When she heard Xander and Anya struggling, she rushed out, running with the other two as they pinned him to a tree. Tara drove the stake into the demon's chest. A burst of dust covered them, and they walked it off, brushing of their respective jackets.

"That was amazing, baby," Willow breathed in awe. Tara blushed in the moonlight.

"It was nothing."

"Oof!" Buffy hit the ground with a thud as her vampire lunged at her, knocking her down. Spike rushed to help her, but she was up and staking the vampire within a second. When it was over, she brushed herself off and looked at her friends.

"You ok?" Spike asked, his fingers brushing hers as he came to stand beside her.

"Yeah. Yeah, just a little…ugh…cramp?" Spike's hand moved to her belly. "Oh. Not there. My back."

"C'mon, pet. Let's get you home."

"I'm ok, Spike," Buffy assured him. "Bitty Buffy's ours. She's strong." Spike's lips curled up into a grin. "What?"

"You just called our baby 'Bitty Buffy.' _And_ you called her a girl." Buffy couldn't help but smile.

"Well it's catchy. It's your fault, you know?" Spike smirked, and Anya and Xander meandered over breathlessly with the rest of the group.

"Well, that was fun, kids," Xander gasped.

"You can go home, Xander," Buffy chuckled, smiling a little.

"You sure? I mean, I've got strength in me for at least one more. Ok, maybe not so much one more vampire, but if a fiendish kitten comes along? I'm your man."

"No, it's ok," she laughed. "Really. Go on. See you guys tomorrow."

"Want us to hang around?" Willow asked. "I mean, we are going back to the same place and everything." Buffy shook her head.

"I think we'll give the cemetery one last go-around and head back. Somebody should probably get back to Dawn. She gets comfortable with us letting her stay home alone, and she might get comfortable with letting certain teenage boys come over while we're gone."

"Ah, gotcha," Tara said, holding her hand up. "We'll see you both later then." Willow and Tara turned to leave, and as Buffy looked down to brush some vamp dust off of her coat, Spike and Willow shared a secret glance. Spike raised an eyebrow, and she gave him a little nod. He nodded back, and their respective partners were none the wiser.

***

"Isn't Faith the Slayer that's in prison for murder?"

"Does that bother you?"

"It probably should, but I don't have much room to talk." Dana took a sip of her tea as she sat across from Quentin Travers in a white room, similar to one she'd been holed up in after she'd been taken out of the prison. "Why is she coming here?"

"For the same reasons you are. To be evaluated. To be given a second chance." Dana eyed him. "Neither you nor Faith had the kind of upbringing that Miss Summers had. Faith's moral grounds were a bit…askew. We tried dealing with her once before, but that didn't go to plan. She ended up turning herself in to police custody to try to start making amends. But you and I both know that what's done can't be undone."

"Unfortunately," Dana muttered. "Is she safe?"

"She's a bit rough around the edges, but I'm confident that she'll be fighting on the right side."

"Fighting? As in a war?"

"If it ever came down to it, I suppose."

"Ok," Dana said quietly. "Look, I've done all your tests. I've trained with some of your Watchers. I don't understand why I'm still here."

"You're not ready to go back to Sunnydale, are you?"

"Well…I don't…I'm not…I kinda want to travel."

"Of course." Travers sipped at his own tea. "Your past haunts you, doesn't it?"

"Well…yeah. It should. I mean, I did some pretty bad things."

"And none of it was your fault," Travers reminded her. "You were innocent before any of this started." Dana nodded slowly.

"Yeah, but…it doesn't change…"

"What if it could?" Dana's eyes widened with surprise.

"What are you talking about?"

"What if you could go through life not remembering the things you did?"

"Then I wouldn't be myself," Dana pointed out. "I'd be a Slayer, but I wouldn't…" She shook her head. "Look, I've made a lot of progress. Dr. Owens put that in my file, didn't he?"

"Yes, of course he did. And Mr. Giles has nothing but rave reviews for your performance in training and on the field."

"So what's this all about? You can't erase my bad memories. I mean, that's just not possible."

"What if it was? Would you want…"

"Would I want to not have to remember the awful things I did? Sure. But…that sounds like…I don't know what it sounds like, and I don't want to think about it."

"Of course. I'm sorry for frightening you."

"If you took away all of my painful memories, I wouldn't have much but a few childhood memories left." She shook her head. "No, my memories make me who I am, even if I'm not sure who that is anymore."

***

"You liar!" She made a face at him as they walked through the cemetery, finally alone.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. You are _so_ wrong."

"No I'm not."

"_Yes_ you are." She stomped her foot a little with exasperation, and he grinned, loving it when she got all irritated. Irritation was sexy on his Slayer.

"I think I know you a _lot _better than you know me, kitten. I've got over a hundred years on you. I've done a lot of things I've never told you about."

"Yeah, well, that doesn't mean anything. I know who you are _now_ and that's what counts." Spike rolled his eyes and jumped out of the way to avoid tripping over a weed-hidden gravestone.

"Try me. What's my favorite song?"

"Oh, trick question. You're expecting me to say "I Wanna Be Sedated," but I know you secretly have man love for the lead singer of 3 Doors Down." Spike scoffed.

"When you're wrong, you are _so_ wrong that it's scary." Buffy grinned.

"Oh, but I'm not saying your favorite song is one of theirs. Nope. I happen to know your favorite song is "Hanging by a Moment." Spike's eyes widened, and he cleared his throat.

"What gives you that idea?"

"Only because that's the first song that comes on when you wanna be all romantic and…tender."

"Tender? Baby, that's the last word I'd use to describe…"

"What? What's wrong with tender? And I happen to like doing it to that song."

"Doing it? What are you, sixteen?"

"Shut up. You're trying to distract me. I'm right though, aren't I?"

"If you tell anyone, I'll hold out." Buffy's jaw dropped.

"You would not. You can't go more than twenty four hours without sex, and you know it." Spike made a face. "Ha! See, I do know you better."

"What about you, miss "Wind Beneath My Wings?"

"Hey, I never said that was my _favorite _song."

"But you wanted it played at our wedding."

"I was under a spell."

"Doesn't mean it affected your choice in song, does it, pet?"

"What are you, memory man?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"Ass," she muttered, as he drew her into his arms and planted a soft kiss to her lips. She moaned softly and opened her eyes, smiling up at him.

"What?"

"Tender," she grinned. Spike grinned a little and kissed her again, not so tenderly. When he pulled back, he cocked an eyebrow.

"Still tender?"

"You're a teddy bear, but you just won't admit it." He growled a little and devoured her lips with his own once more. When he pulled back, he smiled.

"Oh fine," she said with a roll of her eyes. "You're the big bad. Ravish me against the wall of this crypt." Before she could say another word, his lips were over hers, and her back was pressed against the wall.

"You asked for it pet," he breathed into her ear, causing her eyes to roll back and her hands to grip his arms.

"Ohhh…" And then she melted into his embrace.

***

She woke up alone in her bed at about two thirty in the morning. She frowned, remembering Spike falling asleep right next to her after she'd tired him out. Maybe he was outside having a smoke. Whatever his reason was for being gone, Buffy still had to pee. So, she pulled herself out of bed, pulled on her robe, and headed into the bathroom.

After she'd done her business, she started back toward the room, but she heard a faint murmur from downstairs. It was a low voice tinged with a British accent. Her frown grew deeper, and she silently padded down the stairs. When she reached the foot of them, she could hear a softer voice; a female voice.

Moving stealthily through the shadows, Buffy made her way toward the kitchen. She craned her neck to peer in, and she found Spike sitting at the counter next to…Willow? Since when did they have little middle-of-the-night chats?

"Are you sure about this?"

"Of course I'm sure. I love her. I need to do this for her." Buffy's heart began to hammer against her chest, and she was amazed that he of the super hearing wasn't catching on to her presence.

"But now? With everything that's supposedly going to happen? I don't know if this is the right time, Spike."

"It's the right time." He sounded solid in his reasoning. Whatever the hell his reasoning was for.

"And you're not going to say anything to her? You're just gonna…"

"That's how it has to be." Buffy felt her breath catch in her chest, and her face felt numb.

"But…just…not saying anything?" _Not saying anything about what_? Buffy wondered. Though something nagged at her, telling her she already knew the answer to that question.

"Look. If I do this…this is my way of showing her my family matters to me. She says she knows it, but…this way, she'll know without a doubt." He cleared his throat. _I already know that, you idiot!_ Buffy's mind hissed.

"I think she already knows that, Spike." _Thanks Wil,_ Buffy's mind called out. Willow shook her head. "You know Buffy hates having her life planned out for her…you do this, and there's no going back. Not for her. It'll be a permanent thing. At least it will be for her. You've gotta be really sure about this, Spike."

"I'm sure. Just…do me a favor, will ya?"

"What?"

"Be there for her. She's gonna need you there when…you know how emotional she's been lately."

"Oh. Yeah. Yeah, ok. She's my best friend. Of course I'll be there for her." After a long pause, she continued. "If this is what you really think is best for Buffy and the baby, I'll help you." Buffy felt the cold sting of betrayal that matched the bitterness of her tears. How could they do this to her? Behind her back? He was really going to do it. He was actually leaving her, and he wasn't planning on telling her. He was just gonna go.

No. This wasn't going to happen. She wouldn't let it be that way. When she heard the screeching of bar stools against the kitchen floor, she silently made her way back down the hall and headed up to bed, fuming with anger and ready for a fight. But by the time she got back to bed, all she could do was sit down and let the tears fall. She let herself cry silently into her hands for a few minutes, trying to get her hormones in check. She was prepared to fly off the handle the moment he came walking in, but when she heard his footsteps approaching, she immediately dove under the covers and closed her eyes, hoping he wouldn't listen for her heart thundering away and breaking in her chest.

* * *

_Hey guys! Please let me know what you thought of the chapter. I've been getting more people telling me they've lost interest, so I'm kinda worried here! I have a new trailer for the fic, by the way. You can find it on youtube and metacafe. Just look for After the Fall 2nd Trailer, or look under the user of BuffyXenaDQFan. :) Thanks!_


	47. Confrontation

_Hey...just wanted to clear something up. I've been getting a lot of feedback mentioning that maybe Spike's going to get his soul. He already did that earlier in the story. ;)_

Chapter 47: Confrontation

When Spike woke in the morning, he was alone. He furrowed his brows, listening intently for sounds coming from the bathroom. He could hear noise coming from downstairs, but all was quiet on the upstairs front.

He pulled himself out of bed and slid into his jeans. After pulling a t-shirt over his head, he ran his fingers through his hair and headed down the stairs.

Dawn, Tara, and Willow were sitting at the kitchen counter eating breakfast. Spike stretched as he walked in barefoot, and Willow smiled at him.

"Morning."

"Good morning," Spike said with a nod. "Where's Buffy?"

"She's not here?" Dawn asked.

"Woke up alone," he said, not bothering to disguise his disappointment.

"She didn't have a doctor's appointment, did she?" Tara wondered.

"No, I would've known about that." He headed over to the fridge, retrieved a mug full of blood and put it in the microwave.

"Ok, Spike? Last time you warmed up your blood, it spattered on the inside of the microwave. You have _got_ to remember to clean it if that happens," Dawn whined, a little grossed out.

"Sorry Nibblet. I'll try to remember that next time." He smiled at Buffy's little sister. He looked at the clock. "You're gonna be late for school."

"Nah, Xander and Anya are picking me up on their way to the Magic Box. They'll just drop me off." Spike wandered out of the kitchen with his mug of hot pig's blood, and he picked up the phone in the living room. He immediately dialed Buffy's cell phone. After three rings, he heard her familiar voicemail message. After the beep, he sighed.

"Hey, it's me. Where are you? Give me a call back. I love you." He hung up and sat down on the couch, replaying last night in his head. He hadn't said anything to her to piss her off. They'd shagged at his crypt, come home, shagged a couple times more and fallen asleep. She'd gone to sleep with a smile on her face.

"Spike?" Spike looked up at Willow's voice. "You look worried."

"I'm not. I'm sure she had something to do…just forgot to wake me up." He didn't sound convincing. At all.

"You don't think she heard us last night do you?" Willow wondered. Spike furrowed his brow.

"I'd have heard if she was coming down the hall or something."

"She's the Slayer. She can be pretty stealthy," Willow reminded him. Spike swallowed hard, worried now, but he shook his head.

"No. No, with her hormone surges, if she'd heard us talking, I'd have been hearing about it by now. No…I don't think so." Willow sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"I'll stop by the Magic Box on my way to campus. Maybe she went to get some early training in with Giles?" Spike looked at the clock and shook his head.

"If I know my girl at all, I'd guess she's praying to the porcelain god right about now."

***

"Are you alright?" Giles asked, handing Buffy a damp cloth to wipe her mouth as she came out of the bathroom of his apartment.

"Fine," Buffy muttered, chewing on a mint to get the terrible taste out of her mouth. She made her way into the living room and sat down on his couch. Giles cleared his throat.

"Do you want to tell me?"

"You know, it's amazing you got your old place back when you came back from England."

"Buffy."

"What? Tell what?" Buffy asked, frowning about the fact that she couldn't get out of talking about this.

"Would you like to tell me why you showed up at my door at four thirty this morning with an overnight bag?"

"Not really."

"Did you and Spike quarrel?"

"Not yet, but we're _so_ gonna." She flipped open her phone and saw she had one voice mail. She threw it back in her purse.

"What happened, Buffy?"

"What happened…well, it hasn't happened yet." Giles removed his glasses and rubbed his temples before replacing the spectacles upon his head. "I woke up early this morning and Spike wasn't in bed. So I went downstairs, and he was in the kitchen with Willow. They were talking."

"Talking about what?" Giles wondered. "It's very odd, the two of them…"

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Buffy frowned. "Giles…Spike kept going on and on about how it was best for me and the baby, how he had to do this to prove that his family was the most important thing…" She felt the tears stinging her eyes. "He's leaving, Giles." Giles watched as his Slayer broke down into tears, burying her face in her hands, shoulders heaving. Not long ago, Buffy probably wouldn't have shed a tear over Spike's skipping town, but the more he saw them together, the more he knew this bond of theirs was strong.

"You're sure?" Giles asked, gently placing his hand on Buffy's back. She nodded, sniffling.

"I think so. He's thought about it a couple of times, but I thought…I thought we were past that. Giles, he thinks it's better for us, and I can't convince him…I need him, Giles. He doesn't see how much I need him." She bit her trembling lower lip. "I love him. God help me, I love him, and I can't stop. I can't make it stop. If I could, it'd be so much easier." She sniffled and wiped at her eyes.

"You're absolutely certain he's talking about leaving?"

"I don't know what else it could be. I don't understand, Giles. Being away from him right now? It's killing me." She swallowed hard. "I don't want to be the one that gets left again. I'm done with that. I'm sick of getting hurt." She shook her head. "No. I'm not going to let him." Giles threw her a half-smile.

"Then why are you sitting here on my couch right now?" Buffy frowned and looked away. Giles squeezed her shoulder. "You know you won't solve anything just sitting here."

"I'm so going to kick his ass. I mean it this time."

"I wouldn't be offended if you did," Giles teased. Buffy smiled a little and let out a soft chuckle, but that quickly faded, and she felt fresh tears emerge. "Go home, Buffy. Sort this out. You won't feel better until you do."

"You're right. I just…if I see him right now, I'll…I don't know what I'll do." Giles nodded.

"Alright. I have to get to the store. Feel free to stay here and rest for a while."

"Thanks Giles," Buffy sniffled. Giles nodded, grabbed his jacket, and headed to the door.

"Everything will be alright, Buffy. I'm sure of it." Buffy nodded, and the moment the door shut behind Giles, she burst into tears once more.

***

Faith stared out the tinted window of a limo as it drove toward the airport. The man sitting next to her was stiff and proper, and he smelled like he'd taken a bath in the awful cologne he was wearing.

"What'd you say your name was again?"

"Dr. Owens, Miss Lehane."

"So you're a shrink."

"I'm a highly certified…"

"Yeah, yeah. So, what happens when we get to London?"

"I'll be overseeing your care, and you'll be placed with a Watcher to start your training."

"And the Council's just trusting that I'm a good girl now? They don't think for a second I'd rip their throats out?"

"Would you?" Dr. Owens asked. Faith rolled her eyes. "I didn't think so."

"Why's that?"

"Because if you weren't reformed, you'd have killed me the moment we pulled away from the prison gates, and you'd have made a run for it." The man had a point.

"Ok. So what are they gonna do to me? Lock me up?"

"You'll be given a flat near Council headquarters. You'll be monitored for a while, but when the Council feels you're ready, they'll send you on your way."

"On my way to what?"

"Your new life."

"I thought this was a way to get my old life back, you know, minus the killing."

"You'll still be a Slayer. You'll just be a free Slayer."

"And what do they get in return?" Dr. Owens said nothing. "I don't think this is really on the up and up."

"I assure you, Miss Lehane. The Council has no plans for you except to have another Slayer fighting the ever-growing forces of evil. Prison is in no way the place for a young woman such as yourself."

"What was it written in my file, doc? Psychopathic murderer? And Miss Goody Two Shoes didn't help matters any."

"Miss Summers hasn't been very cooperative with the Council lately."

"Really?" Faith asked, raising an eyebrow. "Didn't think she had it in her. Sounds like somebody's living life on the rebel side."

"She has some…unusual alliances. Mr. Travers wants his Slayers in top form. The other Slayer…"

"The other? You mean there's three of us now?" Dr. Owens nodded. "No shit? Well, as far as I know, I didn't die, but I was in Hell for a good long while. She shrugged. "Looks like B got herself into a mess again. What was it this time? She have to let her boy toy Angel bite her to save the world? He take a little too much?"

"She threw herself into a portal that was about to tear down the walls between the dimensions. She was brought back several months later thanks to her witch friend." Faith raised an eyebrow.

"Willow's got mad Wicca skills now, huh? See, last time I spent much time with her, she was barely floating pencils." She frowned. "Bet she'll be floating a lot more in my direction if she ever sees me again."

***

"I don't think this is a good idea, Mr. Travers," a young doctor spoke up as he paced in front of Quentin's desk. "You're talking about a drug that is brand new. We don't know what the consequences might be."

"That's why we test." He looked up at the younger man. "Part of what makes us powerful, John, is that we take the initiative. We deal with chemicals and medicines unknown to the medical world, except for those under our employ. This drug could change things. We need to test it."

"On a _Slayer_, sir?"

"Why not on a Slayer? She's the perfect candidate. And we have another coming in tomorrow morning. Both with traumatic pasts. Both are excellent Slayers, but they have their…little hang ups, if you will. They're fierce, but their judgment is clouded. They've murdered. They've taken human life. And now every time they fight, they have to think harder, go for the kill knowing with absolute certainty that their prey isn't human."

"But without that filter, sir, they may take human life again." Quentin shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. One person compared to thousands if it comes down to it?" John felt a shiver go up his spine. In this time under the Council's employ, he'd heard a lot of shady things, but he'd never heard someone talk so casually about human life being so…insignificant. "John, if we can take the pain away from these women, their minds will be clear. Their consciences…and isn't that a good thing?"

"Well…well, sure, but…something could go wrong." Travers rubbed his temples and shook his head. "And Dana hasn't agreed."

"She'll agree."

"And if she doesn't?" Travers cleared his throat.

"Dana's the newest Slayer. She has the least strength of the three active Slayers." He shook his head. "Whatever she decides, the outcome will be the same." His phone rang, and he waved his hand at John. "I need to take this." John swallowed but nodded numbly before backing out of Travers' office and rushing away.

***

When Buffy entered her house, everything was quiet. She knew Spike was around, but she wasn't quite ready to see him yet. She stepped into view of the hall mirror and examined her face. Her eyes were a little red from crying, but otherwise, she looked ok.

She heard movement coming from upstairs, and she took a deep breath. The best thing to do was to get it over with.

She took the stairs one at a time, slowly making her way up to her room. When she got to the top of the stairs, she saw him moving about her room, carrying things around. She furrowed her brows and silently crept up to the doorway. To her horror, she found him piling things into a suitcase, and she felt her stomach twist into knots. The tears formed again, and it was all she could do to keep herself from letting them fall.

She looked down at the ring on her finger, remembering how happy she'd been when he'd given it to her on her birthday. And before she could stop herself, she sniffled. Spike spun around at the sound, and his look of surprise immediately changed to one of worry when he saw the sadness in her eyes.

"Buffy? What…"

"So," she breathed, her voice shaky but quiet, "you were gonna leave before I got back?"

"Buffy…"

"No. I get it. You didn't want to hurt me, right? Thought you'd sneak off while you had the chance?" Spike started to come to her, but she held her hand out. "Please. Spare me. If you're gonna pretend like you care…"

"Buffy, I do care. I love you. You know that."

"So, why? I thought we settled this…twice."

"Buffy, you have to trust me."

"Trust you? You're leaving me!" Spike was a little taken off guard.

"I'm not leaving, Buffy." Buffy let out a dry laugh and gestured toward the suitcase.

"Ok, so that's not a suitcase lying open on _our _bed."

"Well, yeah, it is, but…" He sighed heavily, knowing that he'd brought this on himself. If he hadn't been such an idiot and tried to leave before, she wouldn't have this look on her face just now.

"You were talking to Willow last night. You said it was best." She sniffled again.

"So you did hear. Bloody hell."

"Yeah. So you want to tell me why you and my best friend were planning your little trip behind my back?"

"We weren't planning my trip…" At her glance at the suitcase, he gave up. "Alright, we were. But it's not what you think."

"Then what is it?" Spike smiled a little, and that seemed to piss her off more, so he reached into the bag and pulled out a pink bra and one of her cute tops.

"Don't think these are quite my size, luv." Buffy's features softened a little. "And this girly perfume?" He pulled the bottle out of the suitcase. "Doesn't exactly match my look, does it?"

"What…"

"Remember what I said to you? I wanted to take you away."

"What…I…but…" She suddenly felt like the dumbest person alive. "Huh?" He smiled a little and put the items back in the suitcase.

"I was going to take you away for the weekend," he offered. "I wanted to…to surprise you."

"Oh my God," Buffy groaned, her anger at him, which had given way to embarrassment and shock, now turned into anger at herself. "You've _got_ to be kidding me. Do I look like the biggest idiot in the universe or what?" Spike moved toward her and took her hands in his.

"I'm not leaving. Not going anywhere unless it's with you, pet." Buffy felt the tears falling now. "What's the matter?"

"I'm so stupid. I can't believe I…"

"It's not like you didn't have reason to wonder," he admitted, his features darkening. "I left you once before."

"Yeah…but you came back all…you know, soul-y. Spike, I'm sorry. Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad."

"You should be. I left in the middle of the night. I didn't…I didn't answer your calls. I just…I thought the worst. I'm sorry." Spike pulled his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "You should be yelling at me right now. Getting all fang-y. I deserve it."

"I think I'll let it slide," he chuckled. "Bitty Buffy's not helping your hormones any."

"Normally, I'd yell at you for blaming my hormones, but I think I'll let them take the fall for me this time." Spike chuckled.

"There's my girl." He tilted her face toward his and pressed his lips to hers. Then a thought occurred to her. She pulled back.

"Wait a minute. What was with the talk about Willow being there for me?" Spike swallowed hard, and Buffy flinched at his hesitation. "You're hiding something from me." She backed out of his arms.

"Buffy…no," he insisted firmly. "I just wanted her to be on the lookout, because I didn't want you to think that something bad was going on and I was trying to keep you from hearing about it." Buffy frowned and looked down.

"Oh."

"Buffy, it's alright. I love you, and I'm not leaving."

"I know that. I know. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You've been through a lot, pet. You've got a lot on your mind. Just know this. I will _never _leave you. I know better than that." He winked at her. "Besides, this life would be worthless without you." He kissed her nose. "Alright."

"'Kay," she muttered. "I'm still sorry."

"Don't be, kitten. S'all behind us now, right?" She nodded.

"Good." He smiled and pulled her into another embrace. After a few long moments, she pulled back. "So where are we going?"

"Was gonna make us reservations at a nice hotel outside of town. Just the two of us all weekend. No vampires. Well…excluding the present." He motioned toward himself and she smiled.

"That sounds….mmm…" She kissed him and smiled against his lips. "Perfect." He kissed her back and held her close before she let out a soft sight.

"What is it?" He smiled when she giggled.

"I really need a shower."

"Go on, then. I'll make you something to eat, alright?"

"Yeah. Thanks." She kissed him on the cheek and hurried off to the bathroom, wondering how she ever could have doubted him.

Spike sighed with relief and headed down the stairs. Just as he neared the bottom steps, the front door opened, and he had to jump over the banister to get out of the path of the sunlight. Willow came walking through, a sheepish look upon her face.

"Oh God. Sorry! I didn't know you'd be lurking by the door."

"S'alright. Just going to make Buffy something to eat."

"She's here? I stopped by the Magic Box, and Giles said she was at his place. I went by, and she wasn't there, so I…is she ok?"

"She's fine now. In the shower." He shook his head and headed into the kitchen with Willow right behind him. As he started searching for things in the cupboard, Willow looked at him anxiously.

"Did you two fight?"

"She came in all ready to beat the bleedin' hell out of me. She heard the two of us last night. But, I explained everything." Willow's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"You did? What'd…what'd you tell her?"

"That I'm taking her away for the weekend." Willow frowned. "What? It's true. Get her out of the house in time to let you birds do your girly decorating." Willow shrugged.

"You know we could easily do it in two seconds with a spell."

"Yeah, but that leaves out two days of naked Buffy, so I'd prefer it if you did it the hard way. No matter, I'm still taking her away." Willow smiled.

"So she's not mad? At either of us?"

"No. Don't worry, Red. She's none the wiser to my little plan."

"Our plan. You asked for my help, so it's _our _plan."

"You're the one that wasn't sure about it."

"Yeah, but I'm starting to come around. Helping Anya plan her wedding was like pulling teeth. This? Well, _this_ is fun, because it's a surprise. Buffy's gonna have her white dress and her big day…er, well, evening, I guess." She smiled.

"Glad to see at least one of her friends approves."

"Oh, come on. The rest of them are coming around. Xander hasn't threatened to stake you in weeks."

"Remind me to thank you," Spike scoffed. "He'd better be on his best behavior. I guarantee I won't think twice about putting my fist between his unusually large ears if he thinks of doing anything to ruin Buffy's day."

"I'll be on Xander patrol until the commitment ceremony. I'll gag him during, if I have to."

"Always knew you were into the kink, pet." Willow made a face.

"Do you just exude perverseness? 'Cause I don't see how Buffy puts up with it." He caught a faint smile as she turned away from him to look at the clock. "Oh, I have to get going. If I don't see you before you head out of town, just…yeah, just call me and tell me when you're heading back to town so we can have everything ready. Of course…I have to tell everybody what we're doing before we do it, but I'm sure they'll be on board the surprise wagon."

"I'll let you know." He watched her leave the kitchen, but at the last second, he hurried around the counter. "Uh, Willow?" She turned, surprised at his use of her first name. That was a rare occurrence indeed.

"Yeah, Spike?"

"Thanks for helping and everything."

"She's my best friend. She more than deserves this." Willow flashed him a pleasant smile before hurrying back out the door. Spike smiled and leaned against the wall, pleased with himself that he was going to be able to give Buffy her special day, complete with presents and a white dress. Maybe it wasn't a wedding, but it was the start of a very interesting, but hopefully happy marriage, as far as he was concerned.

* * *

_Hey guys! I just want to thank you for the encouraging feedback I received yesterday. Please keep the feedback coming, because I look forward to reading it and hearing what you all think! Sometimes it actually does sway the direction of the story. If I'm on the fence about an issue and enough people mention it, it usually helps me make up my mind. :) _

_Don't forget to check out the video if you haven't already! :) Go to Youtube and search for After the Fall 2nd Trailer, or look for the screen name BuffyXenaDQFan, and you should find it on there. :)  
_


	48. A Cabin in the Woods

Chapter 48: A Cabin in the Woods

"So," he murmured, placing lazy kisses to her shoulder and her neck as he hovered over her, watching as the redness in her cheeks slowly disappeared and her eyes de-glazed from their passionate encounter, "I'm starting to reconsider the packing thing."

"You don't wanna go?" Buffy wondered, running her sweaty fingers through his hair, giggling as curls sprang free from the prison of gel.

"Oh, I wanna go," he murmured, is hand moving between them to stroke her wet folds. "I just want you naked all weekend." Buffy grinned.

"Yeah," she murmured. "I like the sound of that. Ah…oh…yeah." She bit her lower lip as he continued to caress her, dipping one finger inside of her and then adding another. She squirmed beneath him, and he smiled as she arched her back and brushed her belly against his.

Her arms snaked around him, and she bucked against his hand until she began to tremble and let out a choked gasp at her completion. Spike smiled cockily and kissed her swollen lips, taking her bottom lip between his teeth for a little nibble. He pulled back and brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking on each of them hungrily before sliding them out with two satisfactory smacks of his lips.

She smiled up at him, and he chuckled, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Kiss me," he purred. And she did. He gathered her up close and rolled onto her back, taking her along with him. She straddled his hips and placed her hands on his chest, beaming down at him.

"Mmm, just think," she murmured, closing her eyes and basking in the deliciousness of her thoughts, "two whole days…and we can be as loud as we want."

"Of course, until the people in the neighboring rooms call management."

"Yeah, but we don't know them, so it's ok," she teased.

"Like the way you think, pet." She giggled and pulled herself off of him, climbing off of the bed. He reached out for her, but she was too fast. "Oi! Where you going?"

"Bitty Buffy might be the size of my pinky finger right now, but she's already dancing on my bladder." Buffy rushed into the bathroom, and Spike stretched out on the bed, folding his arms behind his head. He sighed languidly and waited for Buffy to return.

It seemed only a moment went by before he felt a nudge in his ribs.

"You fell asleep," she laughed, climbing back into bed with him.

"I did?"

"Yeah. I must've really worn you out." She curled up against him, resting her head on his chest. Spike caressed her shoulder and smiled. "Is it sundown yet? I wanna get out of here." Spike smiled a little and stretched, pulling her a little closer. Just as they both got comfortable, the phone rang. Buffy groaned and reached for it, since it was closest to her. "Hello?"

"Buffy, it's Giles."

"Unless you're calling to tell me that the world is ending…I'm kinda busy. And I'm leaving town."

"Yes, I think it's best that you do." Buffy sat up when she heard the urgency in Giles' voice.

"What happened?"

"A friend of mine from the Council just called. He's pretty certain Quentin Travers is sending a few Council members to…evaluate you."

"What? Now?! What about Dana."

"He's personally working on her evaluation, so he won't be coming. But, Buffy, there's going to be no hiding this pregnancy from them. They don't know I know they're coming, so it would be best if you left until I tell you it's safe to come back."

"Ok," she said slowly. "Well, Spike and I are leaving for a couple of days."

"A couple of days might not do it. And your friends? The Council is rather good at getting information."

"What are you saying?" Buffy groaned.

"I'm saying that I'm sending the lot of you to my cabin."

"You have a cabin?"

"Well…yes."

"Since when?"

"I told you about it. Last Thanksgiving."

"No you didn't."

"I didn't?"

"No." She heard a sigh on the other line.

"That's not the point. Right now, the best thing for you to do is to pack yourselves up for at least a week and lay low there. I've already spoken to Xander and Anya, and they're heading home to pack as we speak." When she didn't respond, he continued. "It's a very remote location in the woods. You'll be safe there until you hear from me."

"Let me guess…no phones?"

"There is a landline there, yes, for emergencies. I'll call you when the coast is clear."

"Giles?"

"Yes?"

"You know…you really suck right now."

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry. It was supposed to be a…you know…getaway. Just the two of us. You know…things are happy again."

"Oh…I'm sorry, Buffy. But unless you want to risk the Council finding you...they'll be checking the hotels around the area."

"Right," Buffy muttered, running her fingers through her hair. "Ok. I'll tell Spike." She hung up and searched for Spike, who was already getting dressed.

"So what's going on, pet?"

"Two days of nakedness are out the window," she frowned. "We're going to spend a fun-filled week cramped in a little cabin with five other people. The Council's coming, and Giles thinks it'd be better if we flew under the radar for a while."

"Right." He pulled his shirt on over his head.

"We can still go away, right? Just the two of us? After the Council's gone and everything?" Spike smiled a little.

"Of course, luv. Are you kidding? Two days of naked Buffy? That's all I'm gonna be able to think about to get me through the sodding week."

***

As soon as the sun went down, Xander and Anya's car pulled up outside of the summers' home. Willow, Tara, Spike, Buffy, and Dawn all hurried out of the house and put their things in the trunk.

"I can't _believe_ we have to take one car," Dawn pouted, as she scooted into the front seat, forcing Anya to straddle the console in the middle. Spike, Willow, Buffy and Tara all managed to squeeze into the back seat. Buffy was seated on Spike's lap, and she was thankful to be short enough that her head didn't get smooshed to the car ceiling.

"Giles thought it'd be safe if we just took one. That way there fewer trails to follow," Anya deduced.

"Speaking of safe, Dawn, what about Jake? I mean, I know he's not the most observant of guys…"

"It's ok. He's out of town. He had to go visit his grandparents in San Francisco."

"Oh. Ok, good."

"Don't worry. The Watcher's Council doesn't care about the Slayer's sister. I doubt they even know I have a boyfriend."

"I _really_ hope this isn't a long drive, because, hello? Pregnant woman here. Not good with long car trips," Buffy groaned, as they turned the corner and sped away from Revello Drive. With the thought of Slayer barf all over his car now firmly implanted in his mind, he tapped on the gas, hoping the directions Giles had given him wouldn't get them lost.

***

"Oh sodding Hell. You have _got_ to be kidding me."

"It's not _that_ bad."

"Take a good look, Harris. It's a bloody box with windows."

"Giles said it has two bedrooms and a large common area," Anya insisted, as they pulled their luggage out of the trunk of the car.

"I get it. This is a joke on old Spike." Spike let out a dry laugh. "Bet the Council isn't even coming. Bet he just wants to see how long it'll take me to bite one of you wankers."

"Spike!" Buffy hissed.

"What? I'm just joking, pet. I wouldn't bite any of them. Alright, I might bite Harris, but…"

"Hey! Buffy, tell your boy friend to keep his fangs to himself."

"He wouldn't bite you," Buffy insisted. "He's harmless as a puppy dog." Spike shot a glare at her, and she winked at him. "Isn't he cute?"

"Oh, I'm cute now, am I?"

"Wouldn't go that far," Xander muttered under his breath.

"Come on, it'll be fun!" Buffy insisted. "Me and all of my best friends hanging out for a week. No patrolling. No demons."

"Except for the one you're _shagging_," Xander reminded her.

"Yeah, well, that's just a big plus." Buffy grinned and took hold of Spike's hand. "C'mon, let's check out the place."

After Xander unlocked the door, everyone piled their luggage in alongside the wall. It was dark, and nobody could find a light switch. Spike searched his coat pockets before coming up with his lighter. With a little flick, he produced a flame, holding it close to the walls as he felt along for a switch. In a moment, the room was bathed in light, and everyone looked around.

"Not bad," Tara nodded, sweeping her gaze around the place. The living room was larger than Buffy's. There were two couches and a couple of chairs surrounding a coffee table, and a decent-sized TV sat on an entertainment center against the wall. A little kitchen was off to the side, and three doors were spaced out along the walls.

Buffy made a beeline for the bathroom, and everyone else checked out the bedrooms. They were small but they'd each accommodate two people. Spike immediately grabbed his and Buffy's suitcase and placed it on one bed.

"Hey, who said you get this one?" Anya asked, hands on her hips.

"'Cause the Slayer's sleeping with me, and she's pregnant." Nobody could say much to that. It wouldn't be very fair to make the pregnant girl sleep on the couch or the floor. Besides, they all knew it was better for them if she got a good night's sleep, because pregnant Buffy was an unpredictably emotional Buffy.

Buffy returned from the bathroom and everybody turned to her.

"So…how bad is it?" Willow cringed.

"Not bad at all. Giles pulled through, ladies. A nice, big bathtub and plenty of counter space." The ladies immediately went to deposit their makeup cases in the bathroom. Spike ran his fingers through his hair and glanced awkwardly at Xander.

"Looks like we're outnumbered."

"Us? What about you? You're the only living dead here."

"I meant the fact that we're both men. You know we're going to be forced to do unspeakable things like chop wood or kill little creepy crawlies."

"You think there are creepy crawlies?" Xander asked, suddenly panicked. Spike furrowed his brows.

"I'd imagine. We _are_ in the middle of the woods, Harris."

"Yeah. Right." He cleared his throat in a rugged, manly way and shrugged his shoulders. But then he got an idea.

"Who needs us rugged, tough men when the Slayer's here? She's killed a lot worse than a stray centipede or two."

"What?!" Buffy exclaimed, rushing out of the bathroom. "Centipede? Where?" Xander was dumbstruck.

And mimicking Spike's earlier words, Xander groaned, "you've _got_ to be kidding me."

***

Buffy had fallen asleep in one of the bedrooms. Anya was attempting to cook something in the kitchen, and Willow and Tara were desperately trying to help her in order to avoid eating something that tasted like the bottom of a high school locker room shower. Dawn was reading a girly magazine, and Spike and Xander were sitting on the couch fighting for control of the remote. Well, not so much fighting as exchanging words in a way that only two full grown men could.

"Give it back, you peroxided pillock."

"Where'd you learn to talk like that?"

"I've been around you too much. _Way _too much."

"Then go for a walk, Harris."

"I sat down first."

"Listen to me, you wanker." Spike leaned in close, eyes narrowing at Xander's wide-open ones. "If I have to sit through one more episode of "I Love the 90s…"

"The best part's coming up."

"Honey, I've seen this one!" Anya called from the kitchen. "Backstreet Boys were mentioned somewhere in the middle." Xander groaned. "I mean…uh…shoot. Who was famous in the 90s?" Spike smirked.

"Don't even start," Xander grumbled. Spike yanked the remote out of his hand and flipped the channel. Xander opened his mouth, ready to protest, but when he saw what was on, he raised his eyebrows. "_You_ watch Jeopardy?"

"Why not? Keeps the brain active."

"Considering you don't make brainwaves, because of the whole being dead thing…"

"Shut your trap, you limey…"

"Bite me, fang-boy."

"I might just do that."

"Hey!" a muffled yell followed by the thud of what could have only been one of Buffy's boots hitting the wall stopped the conversation in its tracks. There was a squeak, two more loud thuds, and then the door flew open. Buffy stood there, eyes wild, hair messy, teeth clenched. And Spike felt his jeans grow a little tighter in the groin area. "Will you two stop acting like five-year-olds for two minutes? I'm _trying _to sleep!"

"He started it," Spike muttered, turning the TV off and tossing the remote onto the opposite couch, just to piss off Xander. His stomach grumbled, but before he made his way to the kitchen, he made a pass by his and Buffy's room and kissed her on the cheek. "Sorry, kitten. You hungry?"

"A little." She sighed and realized that she should probably stay awake now, because if she didn't, she'd never get back to sleep later. Spike took her hand and they walked into the kitchen together. Buffy's nose crinkled at the stench coming from the stove. "What is that?"

"Tomato soup."

"Why is it black? Did you…burn it? How do you burn soup?"

"I don't know, ok?"

"You're over eleven hundred years old, Anya," Willow muttered, pouring out the ruined soup into the sink. "You never got curious…you know, picked up a cookbook?"

"I can cook some things," Anya insisted. "Right, sweetie?"

"Yeah. She makes a mean lasagna," Xander commented, flashing a smile at his wife. Spike opened up the fridge and pulled out a mug of blood. He sipped at it slowly, and he caught Xander's glance. The young man was grimacing, and Spike deliberately created a little blood mustache over his upper lip and then smiled, making quite the display of licking it off. "Now that's just wrong. If I have to put up with _that_ for a week I'm gonna go crazy."

Spike couldn't resist. "All work and no play makes Harris a dull boy." Xander glared at him and started toward the vampire, but Buffy pulled something out of the freezer and slammed it down on the counter. No words needed to be said. Everyone went back to what they were. To say it was going to be a long week would be an understatement.

* * *

_Let me know what you thought of the chapter. This MIGHT be my last update until Monday. I'll see how things go, but I haven't even started on the next chapter yet. Anyway, feedback, please! :)_


	49. Morning Habits

_Sorry for the delay in the update! If there are any typos, I apologize. It's been kind of a rush-y day._

**Chapter 49: Morning Habits**

"I guess I don't get it," Anya muttered, pacing around in her pajamas. "Why are we hiding out? I mean, the Council's going to eventually find out about the baby."

"Yeah, but we'd like to keep that little tidbit of information from them for a while, because they might be the danger that that Voraos guy was warning Spike about," Buffy explained, propping her feet up on the footstool. She looked at the clock. It was nearing midnight. Dawn had fallen asleep about twenty minute ago in one of the comfortable chairs, and Willow and Tara had perched themselves on the other couch. Xander and Anya had taken the other bedroom because they were newlyweds, and knowing Anya, she wouldn't let a few friends get in the way of having sex with her new husband. So, to save everybody's eyesight, everyone had willingly given the room away. For a couple nights, anyway.

"An? Honey? You coming to bed?" Xander stepped out of the bathroom, towel over one shoulder, wet hair slicked back. Anya's face lit up.

"I have to go now."

"You two have fun," Buffy called with a knowing smile. She got up and headed into her and Spike's room, where Spike was sitting in bed reading. She raised an eyebrow. "Wow, look who's being anti-social." Spike looked up as Buffy closed the door.

"What? Wanted to read. S'wrong with that?" Buffy placed her hands on her hips as she sauntered across the room.

"I know Xander's not your favorite person."

"Actually, he would be my _least_ favorite person."

"C'mon, baby," she whispered, crawling into bed and nuzzling his cheek with her nose before placing a kiss there. Her minty-fresh breath made him shiver. "He's trying."

"I know, luv, but he…he brings out the demon in me." Buffy saucily raised her eyebrow and gave him a devilish grin. She whisked the book out of his hands and straddled his lap, placing kisses to his neck.

"Thought I was the only one that did that."

"Oh…you bring the demon out…in a good way. The boy? A very, very bad, evil way."

"Come on," Buffy urged him. "Did you ever think that maybe he's jealous that he's not the only guy in the group anymore?"

"Or maybe he's jealous that he had to settle for the ex-demon instead of the Slayer." Buffy frowned and pulled back a little.

"He doesn't think about me like that anymore."

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah. Well, he married Anya."

"Doesn't me he doesn't want you. Just means he knows he can't have you." Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

"If he feels that way, that's sad, you know? We're happy. He should be happy too." Spike's hands gently caressed her hips, and she teasingly wiggled in his lap, feeling his erection pressing into her.

"Yeah, well, he takes one step out of line, and I'll…"

"Do I have to lock you two in the basement again? I mean, I'll do it. He doesn't hate you, Spike. And you don't hate him."

"No, but I could live without him."

"Just so you know, you sling it back at him as good as he shells it out. He's intimidated by you. If it came down to a fist fight, we both know who'd win, so he tries to be witty, and you throw it back in his face."

"Why shouldn't I? I've got my pride."

"So does he, baby. I think he's just irritated that he can't threaten to stake you anymore because you're, you know, all sweet and cuddly." She chewed on his ear. Spike grimaced.

"Say that a little louder, will you? I don't think my poker buddies heard you."

"Come on, Spike," Buffy urged. "I know Xander hasn't exactly been on the Spuffy wagon, but…"

"The what?"

"Spuffy."

"What the bloody hell is Spuffy?"

"I just put our names together. It's cute. Spike plus Buffy."

"Know what else you could make out of that?"

"What?"

"Bike. Or Spiffy. Oh, how about…" He considered 'Spikey,' but that only brought on unwanted memories of a certain blonde vampire he'd love to forget. Buffy frowned.

"But then it's not cute."

"Exactly." At her glance, he sighed. "I'm a _vampire_." He cleared his throat and formed his hands into faux claws. "Grr?"

"Right. You're bad, I get it," she giggled, suckling on his neck. "All I'm saying is that you can be the bigger man. You can show him how willing _you_ are to get along."

"But I'm not."

"For me?" Spike sighed when her warm breath tickled his neck.

"You're evil, you know that?" he wondered, threading his fingers through her hair. She grinned, kissing him and gently nibbling on his lower lip.

"I know. That's why you love me." He couldn't disagree, and he smirked against her lips before flipping her over in the small bed.

"Yeah, and now I'm gonna show you _exactly_ why you love me." She bit her lip, giggling as he kissed his way down her body, and showed her, for the first of many times that evening, one of the many reasons she loved him so much.

***

"Do you hear anything?" she whispered sometime after sunrise, sitting up in bed. Spike shook his head. Buffy felt her cheeks turning red. "You don't think they heard us last night, do you?"

"Over the porn stars in the next room? Unlikely," Spike muttered. Buffy couldn't help but laugh. "Would think they'd have the decency to be a little quiet. At least _we _tried." Buffy leaned into him, stifling a giggle against his shoulder before placing a kiss there. She then climbed out of bed and pulled on a bathrobe.

"I'm gonna go get a shower," she offered. Raising an eyebrow, she grinned. "You know, it'd only be fair to save the hot water for everybody else. Why don't we…you know, shower _together?" _Spike practically leapt out of bed, pulled on a pair of boxers, which he'd not wanted to take but had because Buffy'd insisted he not walk around naked in front of her friends, and he rushed out the door after a robe-clad Buffy.

Once safely inside the privacy of the locked bathroom, Buffy turned the shower on and pulled off her robe. She stifled a yelp as Spike pulled her naked body against his cool, boxer-clad one. She smiled wickedly and kissed him roughly before dropping to her knees, yanking the boxers down his lower half. As soon as he stepped out of them, he felt her warm fingers wrap around his hard shaft and he sucked in a sharp breath. She looked up at him through her long eyelashes, and she placed a finger to her lips.

"Shh," she whispered. Well, he definitely wasn't complaining, but as the head of his cock slipped in past her soft, wet lips, he had to lean forward and grip the sink to keep himself steady. She moaned softly as she took him in, her tongue teasing his tip each time she rolled back up. Her eyes never left his, and he felt like he could come right then.

She pulled back all the way and smiled up at him. Before he could protest, she began to stroke him with both of her hands, one after the other. He threw his head back, slowly pumping his hips to the rhythm of her hand strokes.

When she took him back into her mouth again, he bucked forward, but she kept her hand at the base of his shaft, controlling the amount she took in. And when she began to tease him with her tongue, he lost control and came into her mouth with a muffled groan. She smiled up at him again and rose to place a soft kiss to the side of his mouth. When reached her hand under the shower stream and nodded.

"I think it's hot enough." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and stepped into the shower. He was right behind her, and he intended on giving her entire body a good cleaning…after he dirtied her up a little more.

***

By the time Spike walked out of the bathroom toweling off his hair, while Buffy was finishing brushing her teeth, the rest of the group was up, and they all turned, and he saw their jaws drop in shock and eyes widen in surprise to see him wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. He couldn't help but smirk, wondering if they were more surprised that he was barely wearing anything or that he actually had the decency to put something on.

"What?"

Xander turned to see the Anya and even Willow and Tara staring. Judging by the looks on their faces, Spike didn't often walk around with that little on. Anya tilted her head to the side, and she glanced at Xander. He hoped to God she wouldn't point out the difference between Spike's chiseled torso and his not-so-chiseled, but still not bad to look at one. Anya opted not to say a word, to which Xander decided to be eternally but secretly grateful.

"Um, good morning, Spike," Willow said quietly, trying not to gawk at Spike. Just because she wasn't so much into the guys anymore didn't mean she didn't appreciate a nice male physique when she saw one. "Um…is Buffy almost done?"

"Yeah. Should be out in a sec. Did you run the thing by…"

"The ceremony?" Xander asked, a little loudly, causing Spike to stalk across the room.

"Why don't you speak up, Harris? Don't think she heard you try to ruin the surprise."

"Sorry," Xander said, holding his hands up.

"So you're all up to speed?"

"Yeah," Willow pointed out, trying to speak below the volume of Buffy's electric toothbrush's buzzing. "No pastor, so we don't need to call and reschedule. But we might have to resort to a little magic to get everything else done. I mean…the dress…with the measurements you gave me…what if she's gotten bigger…"

"We'll take care of that if we have to, sweetie," Tara said quietly. "I'm sure we can sneak out and take care of everything without magic…well, unless we have to use magic to get there, and then…" Tara stopped. "You get it, right?"

"Yeah," Willow said with a smile.

"Alright, good. And I don't want _anybody _ruining the surprise. Got it?" His gaze snapped to Xander.

"Why does he look at me when he says that?"

"Says what?" Buffy came out of the bathroom, drying her mouth on a towel. She quirked an eyebrow at the sight of her boyfriend standing in nothing but his boxers in a roomful of her friends.

"Oh, you know, that he wants to bite me, but I'm not worth it, blah blah blah," Xander covered.

"Spike," Buffy warned before padding into the bedroom, bathrobe pulled tightly around herself. Spike spun around to glare at Xander again.

"Thanks, you stupid git. Now she's…"

"Hey, I didn't ruin the surprise. If I'm supposed to be quiet for you, then you're gonna have to suffer the consequences." Anya's eyes widened as she watched her husband and the vampire exchange glares and words. Suddenly, she jumped up and grabbed Xander's arm. "Wha…" She whispered something in his ear. "_That_ got you in the mood?" And then their door slammed behind them. Spike shook his head, trying to get the mental image of the whelp shagging the ex-demon out of his head.

"Well, while they're doing _that_, I'm gonna get a shower and everything," Willow decided.

"Breakfast'll be ready when you get out," Tara assured her. They shared a brief but tender kiss before Willow headed off to the bathroom, and Spike couldn't help but find the idea of the two of them a little sexy. Though he would never in a million years tell Buffy this, he'd often imagined what it would have been like to be with both Buffy and the Buffybot at the same time. Of course, he'd had the Bot, and nothing compared to the real thing; the way the true Slayer moaned in his ear, said his name is just the right needful whisper. A shiver rolled up his spine, and he realized he was getting turned on. And this was bad, because he was wearing nothing but boxers.

Just as he was about to turn and go into the bedroom, Buffy burst out, hand over her mouth, and rushed through the bathroom door.

"Hey!" Willow exclaimed, toothbrush hanging out of the side of her mouth as she stood in nothing but her bra and underwear. She quickly covered herself with a towel and ran out as Buffy heaved into the toilet. About a minute later, the toilet flushed and the pale-faced Slayer stepped out into the living room.

"Sorry, Wil," she muttered sheepishly. Willow grimaced but nodded in understanding.

"It's ok," she assured her friend. "Do you need to go again, 'cause I can wait to take a shower."

"No, I think I'm ok. I just need some fresh air."

"Come here, Buffy. I have some herbs in my bag. I was gonna use them for a locator spell, but they work good in a tea. It should help your stomach."

"Thanks Tara." Willow headed back into the bathroom, and Buffy settled down in the kitchen. Spike finally headed back to get changed.

"The great thing about our normal schedules is that everybody usually cleared out of the bathroom before my morning sickness starts."

"It's ok. It's just for a week."

"Yeah," Buffy said slowly. "But I'm not sure if all of us are gonna make it out of here alive."

"It'll be ok," Tara agreed with a grin. "But maybe you should do something about the guys. It's toned down a lot over the past month, but now they're just acting like…"

"Big babies?"

"I wasn't gonna say it…but…you know…"

"Yeah," Buffy said with a nod. "Last time I had to lock them in the basement together. What could I do out here that's just as bad that…" Her eyes widened.

"Buffy?"

"Oh. Oh…" A wicked smile spread across her face. "Where's Anya?"

"With Xander. His and Spike's display of manliness got her all…well…you know."

"Oh," Buffy pouted. "Ok, well, when they're done then."

"What are you planning?"

"Oh. This is gonna be good, Tara. Better than _The Parent Trap_ even."

"Huh?"

"You'll see," she smiled. "This is gonna be great."

***

"You must be Faith."

"You must be Dana. Hey, Dana."

"Hi," Dana said slowly. Faith nodded.

"Hey back."

"So you're here to be evaluated too, huh?"

"Guess so. But I gotta say, I could totally get used to this place." She looked around the lobby of Council Headquarters. "No bars on the windows or the doors."

"Not totally true," Dana murmured, looking away.

"Right on, so you're a rebel too?"

"I was in prison for murder…just like you."

"Oh. Right," Faith said with a slow nod. "But since you're here, you must be back on the straight and narrow too, huh?"

"I didn't mean to do the things I did," Dana immediately defended. Faith put her hands up.

"Whoa. I wasn't accusing you."

"Mr. Travers has told me about you. About the men you killed." She saw a flicker of familiarity in Faith's eyes. She wasn't sure if she was seeing regret or simply discomfort with talking about it.

"Yeah. I did kill them. It was a choice. A wrong one, but it was a choice."

"And now you're…what? Trying to be a good Slayer again?"

"Same as you, it looks like." The two sat down across from each other. Both were aware of the man peering down at them from the stairs. "So what do I have to look forward to?"

"You? I don't know. They sent me off to Sunnydale after they were done with me here."

"Good ole' Sunny D. So you met B?"

"Huh?"

"Buffy. The other Slayer."

"Oh." Dana smiled. "Yeah. I did. She's…she's nice."

"Wound a little tight, huh?"

"Well, she's good at what she does. She's careful. She's really smart."

"Yeah, but the girl doesn't know how to let loose."

"I don't know about that," Dana said with a shrug.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, it's nothing." She frowned and looked into Faith's eyes. "I'm leaving here in a few days."

"Going back to Sunnydale?"

"I wasn't going to, but…they've been asking me some really…really weird questions. I just kinda want to get back to training and talk to Mr. Giles."

"What kinda questions?" Dana noticed Travers approaching and she shook her head just slightly.

"Just…if they ask you about your memories…"

"What?"

"Just…they might ask you some weird questions, and…" She cut herself off when she heard him stop behind her.

"Ah, so you two have met at last." Mr. Travers patted Dana on the shoulder and smiled warmly. "Welcome, Faith. I was just informed you got in."

"Well, not 'just' informed. You've been watching us for the past five minutes." At Travers' stern look, she stood up. "So, you wanna tell me what I'm supposed to do now?"

"I'll have someone take you to your flat."

"And then what?"

"Then nothing. You'll be assigned to a Watcher, and he'll contact you. Tomorrow, you'll begin your evaluation and your training."

"Oh," Faith said slowly, feeling a little bit of déjà vu. It had felt similar to this when the mayor had prepared to take her to her new place, which had turned out to be pretty fantastic. That was, until she and Buffy had had a hell of a fight. Then she'd never seen the place again.

"So is Slayer Jr. coming with, or…"

"No, Dana is needed elsewhere. It's just the two of us, Faith. I know that the Council has not been kind to you in the past, but I have every intention of making your stay here worthwhile." Faith glanced at a nervous-looking Dana and then back at Travers.

"Alright, well, lead the way, boss." She flashed him a smile and stepped out of the way. He gave her a little nod and headed off. Faith turned to follow, but Dana grabbed her arm. Spinning out of the girl's hold, Faith shot her a questioning glance. But Dana said nothing. She only watched as Faith slowly turned back around and followed Mr. Travers out of the building.

* * *

_Let me know what you thought of the chapter! Thanks....:)_


	50. Kumbafreakin'yah

Chapter 50: Kum-ba-freakin'-yah.

Faith's eyes flew open at the sound of urgent knocking on her door. She glanced at the clock and wondered who the hell was coming to see her at this hour.

She grabbed the knife under her pillow and made her way over to the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's Dana. Can I come in?" Faith sighed and unchained and unlocked the door. She opened it a little and the girl squeezed in.

"You know what time it is, right?"

"Yeah. Sorry. My place isn't very far away and…"

"And you thought you'd stop and borrow a cup of sugar?"

"You don't have to be so rude," Dana bristled. Faith raised an eyebrow and flicked on the light switch.

"Baby has bite."

"Look, you weren't listening to me earlier." Groaning, Faith put her knife down on a table and made her way over to a chair. She motioned for the younger girl to sit down. Dana sat apprehensively, eyes darting about the place.

"Ok, so you come here to warn me, but you're looking around like at any second I might jump up and slit your pretty little throat."

"No I'm not," Dana said, quickly shaking her head.

"Whatever. Ok, what's got you so worried, kid?" Dana sighed.

"I don't know. I just…I trust the Council, you know? They helped me and sent me with Mr. Giles so he could train me. But now they're asking me all of these questions about my memory."

"What about it?"

"You know what I did, right?"

"For the most part, I guess."

"See, I don't remember doing what I did. The people I killed? I was drugged, and they were trying to kill me. I remember coming out of it, and I was standing there covered in blood. And then I started running, but I couldn't get very far. They put me in jail and pumped me up with some other kind of drug that must have mixed with the other drug and…"

"What's this got to do with me?" Faith wondered, hoping to hurry up this little chit-chat.

"Anyway," Dana continued, a bit irritated, "I went into this…kind of a catatonic state. But I mean, I wasn't unconscious or anything. I was…I don't know…wild. And then I guess Buffy died, and I was called, and I got so strong…and I ended up killing more people. I didn't know what I was doing."

"Ok…"

"Then the next thing I know, I'm waking up, and I'm at the Council, and I don't remember much of anything. Mr. Travers gave me something to help me remember, and I did. I remembered everything, eventually."

"That's great, so…"

"So, if he has a way to bring memories back, don't you think he has a way to take them away?" Faith furrowed her brows.

"Maybe."

"He's been talking about what it would be like if I didn't have those memories. The ones of killing those men." Dana frowned. "It'd be nice to not have to think about that every day. So I guess…what I'm asking…what would you do? You killed people. Would you want to forget about it?"

"That's an interesting question." Faith cracked her knuckles. "I'm not proud of what I did. But if I didn't have those memories, I might do it again, you know?" Dana nodded.

"Yeah. Maybe you would. But me? I didn't have a choice when I killed. I didn't know what I was doing." Faith flinched.

"Look kid…not everybody gets everything handed to them on a silver platter. But that's what makes everybody what they are. We can completely fuck our lives up, or other people can do it for us. The past might help make us who we are, but it's the end result that counts, right?" Dana smiled a little.

"You sound like Buffy."

"Great," Faith muttered.

"What happened between you two?"

"What do you know?"

"Not a lot. Just that you went…what'd they say…rogue?"

"I just had a better offer," Faith pointed out. "At least I thought I did. I was your age. I wanted some recognition, I guess. I got dealt a shitty hand in life, and I show up here, and who's getting all the credit for the slaying?"

"Buffy. I know how that feels," Dana sighed. "But she's good. She knows a lot more about what she's doing than I do. The first time I saw a vampire…" She shivered. "Well, let's just say I wasn't exactly Miss Stealth." Faith nodded.

"Yeah. It's intense. But after a while, the intensity starts to feel good, and it just becomes part of you. It's safer than drugs, I guess, except for the constant risk that you're gonna get your neck ripped out if you make one little mistake." Dana's eyes widened.

"So you asked about me and B?"

"Yeah."

"Well," she thought, "I never really fit in with her friends. One night, I made a mistake, and I killed a human. She wanted to tell somebody, and I was freaking out. I played it cool though, because I knew the minute I freaked out, she'd go running to the cops. So I guess…I tried to make her see it was her fault too. It wasn't. I knew that. But I couldn't accept what I did. I saw myself as better than humans, because I was the Slayer. A Slayer," she corrected herself. "Then this guy came along and made me an offer I thought I couldn't refuse." She smiled sadly. "He was like a dad to me."

"That mayor guy, right?"

"Yeah," Faith muttered. "Anyway, I did some pretty shitty things to B. I tried to hurt her and her friends and her boyfriend. Long story short, I ended up in a coma for eight months. When I woke up, I wanted revenge, and I almost got it. I managed to do some damage. Jumped in the sack with Buffy's latest boy toy. The Council was after me, and I managed to get out of Sunnydale before they could find me. Ran off to L.A."

"Wow."

"Yeah. So imagine my surprise when I get a call from Quentin Travers himself."

"Don't you find it kinda…you know, weird?"

"Yeah. But this is better than my jail cell. I can just as easily pay for what I did from the other side of the bars." Dana eyed Faith.

"Maybe that's why they brought you here."

"What?"

"Your past is pretty painful. So is mine. Maybe they really do have some way of…"

"You think they wanna pump us up with some experimental drug and hope for the best?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I'm sure as hell not sticking around to find out." Faith started to get up, but Dana grabbed her arm.

"No! You can't. If that's what they're doing…if you leave, they might think I warned you."

"So?"

"So what'll they do to me?"

"That's not my problem." Dana stood up, a little taken aback.

"Maybe not, but we're Slayers, Faith."

"So we should form a little club and have sleepovers? What?"

"I'm just saying…if you watch my back, I'll watch yours. We can keep an eye on things. Find out what's going on. If they start asking those questions again…" Faith sighed and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Alright. As long as I'm getting three squares a day, I'm alright with that. I see any needles coming at me, and I'm out of there, you got that?"

"I'll be right behind you."

"Alright. So we're not trusting this Travers guy." Dana shrugged.

"I did before, but I'm not so sure now. I just want to get out of here."

"You're not going anywhere 'til my 'evaluation' is over. I don't leave, you don't leave."

"I know. Maybe I should call Mr. Giles."

"Leave them out of this," Faith barked. "I'm sure they've got enough heroics going on over there. If there's a problem in the Council, I'll take care of it. As soon as that's done, I'm out of here."

"_We_ will take care of it."

"Right, whatever. Tomorrow, we'll check the place out."

***

It was still a sunny late afternoon in Sunnydale. Xander was a late lunch out on the back deck while Anya balanced her checkbook. Dawn was reading so she wouldn't fall behind at school, and everyone else was settled around the TV in the living room. On one couch was Spike lounging back, feet propped up on a footstool with Buffy lying next to him with her head resting in his lap. Willow and Tara were sprawled out on the other couch.

Tara had popped in _Interview with the Vampire_, and they were all watching intently. Once in a while, Spike would scoff. This particular time, Buffy looked up at him.

"What?"

"Please. Coffins? No self-respecting vampire sleeps in a coffin. Except for Dracula. But I'm not so sure that's for safety as much as it is for kink." Buffy made a face.

"I didn't need to know that, baby." She patted his knee.

"And hello? Does anybody else notice the fact that his face doesn't change when he goes in for the kill? That's just impossible."

"I think he's dreamy," Tara admitted. At Willow's glance, she shrugged. "What? He is."

"Yeah. And look at his eyes. They're just…and those lips," Buffy awed. Spike looked down at her skeptically. "What? Come on. You can't tell me that's not one good looking piece of man right there."

"You think Brad Pitt is better looking than me?"

"Well, no."

"Then what are you going all googly-eyed over him for?"

"Because he's a hot vampire."

"Not really."

"Well in the movie."

"But not really."

"Oh fine. You're the hottest vampire ever. Are you happy?"

"Not if you say it like that. You're patronizing me." Buffy rolled her eyes but didn't move from her place in his lap. She continued watching the television. A few minutes later came, "oh please! What's he gonna do next, rip his shirt open and show off his rippling muscles as his Nancy-boy Fabio hair whips in the wind?"

At that, Willow and Tara whispered something and burst into a fit of giggles.

"Oi! What are you birds laughing at?"

"Nothing," Tara insisted. "Willow just asked if I could imagine what you'd look like with long hair." At that, Buffy burst out into hysterics. Spike grumbled but kept his eyes on the movie. From what he remembered from seeing the movie years ago, there was a naked woman eventually. Maybe that was worth sitting through hours of absurd fake vampires.

"Oh. Oh, now look at this. This is just…have you ever seen anybody _brood_ so much? He's giving Capitan Forehead a run for his money." Buffy's nails dug into his thigh. "Hey!"

"Shut up and watch the movie, Spike." Spike sighed and leaned back into the couch. He gently stroked Buffy's hair as she lay in his lap, and she let out a contented sigh. If she were a cat, he figured she'd be purring right about now.

The door flew open, and Xander came in carrying a plate full of hamburgers and hotdogs.

"Who's hungry."

"Xander, did you forget…"

"No, he didn't," Anya spoke up, walking in with a plate full of foil-wrapped grilled veggies.

"Thanks!" Willow beamed. She and Tara went to help set the small table off to the side of the kitchen. Spike gently squeezed Buffy's shoulder, and she sat up. Her stomach growled, and Spike turned his head to look at her. She blushed.

"What? Bitty Buffy's just telling us she's _really_ hungry." She smiled and stood up, stretching out. "Dawn? Lunch!"

Spike went to the fridge and poured some pig's blood into his favorite mug. When he sat down next to Buffy at the table, he reached for a burger. Xander and Anya glanced curiously at him.

"What? I eat things other than blood. You know that. Just prefer blood."

"Then why with the stealing of our food now?"

"Because I'm hungry, you git."

"Since when it's it _your_ food and not his?" Buffy wondered.

"It's not. It's just thought that when we picked up the blood at the butcher, that was his portion of the grocery bill." Buffy shrugged.

"Well, I hope you accounted for the fact that I eat like a horse now." She rubbed her small belly. "I don't know what it is, but even though I feel awful in the morning, I'm starving at the end of the day."

"It's called being pregnant," Anya pointed out. "Just wait until your ninth month. Your belly will be so big you won't be able to see your feet or put your shoes on without sitting down. And your back will hurt, and you might not be able to sleep."

"Gee, thanks for the rundown, Anya," Buffy muttered, stabbing her fork into her potato salad. Spike took a long sip of his blood.

"Ok," Xander sighed, putting his hamburger down. "I know that's your diet and everything, but man, that's disgusting."

"Do you want me to starve?" At Xander's look, he held a hand up. "Wait. Don't answer that." Xander glanced pleadingly at Buffy.

"Can't he just drink that in the other room?"

"No!" Buffy protested. "Look, the dinner table is for family. You guys are my family. And Spike's my family. So we're gonna sit here and be one big happy family, or I'll make the rest of this week miserable for anybody that doesn't want to…"

"Whoa, ok, Buff. This is me backing off."

"Please," Spike spat. "You don't know when to quit."

"You just bring it out in me Spike. What can I say?"

"How about nothing? Just shut your gob." Buffy slammed her fork down on the table.

"That's it."

"Buffy…" She stood up, yanking Spike by the arm and grabbing Xander by the shirt collar. "Should you really be manhandling in your condition?"

"Shut up, Xander." She dragged them into Xander and Anya's room. Once they were inside, she nodded to Tara, who brought over Xander's plate and Spike's mug of blood. She handed them to the Slayer, who placed them down on a small dresser. "You guys are going to eat dinner together. You're going to sleep in here _together_. You might get out by morning, but that's if you play nice."

"C'mon, pet. It was just…friendly banter."

"Yeah? Well, learn how to be friendlier." Buffy slammed the door and held onto the knob.

"You really think that's gonna keep us in here?"

"No," Buffy said with a shrug toward her friends. "Tara?" Tara uttered something in Latin that Buffy couldn't quite let out. Then she smiled brightly at her friend.

"You can let go now." Buffy let go of the door knob, which was now shaking with one of the guy's efforts to open it.

"Oi! Come on, Buffy. Let us out!"

"No! You're going to be so happy and nice to each other by the time you get out of there that you'll be singing Kum-ba-freakin'-yah!"

"Not bloody likely!"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear another word from either one of you until tomorrow."

"If I may," Xander interjected, "I don't exactly know about Spike, but eventually, I'm gonna have to use the bathroom, and…"

"Yeah. I know. And to get out, you have to give me the passphrase."

"Passphrase?"

"If, and only if you want to go to the bathroom, you have to knock on the door and say: 'I was wrong about Spike. Boy, he's swell.'"

"Oh no."

"Oh yes. And Spike?"

"Luv?"

"If you need more blood, you have to say: 'Xander Harris is a good guy. I don't know why I threatened to bite him all those years.'"

"I will not!"

"Oh, I think you will. Have a good evening, boys!" With that, she stalked back over to the table where the rest of her friends were now seated again. Dawn glanced at her sister.

"You ok, Buffy?" Buffy put on a bright smile.

"Great! Pass the ketchup?"

* * *

_Hope you guys are enjoying the light-hearted stuff. :) I can't believe I've made it to 50 chapters already! Wow...well, I'd love to know what you thought of the chapter! Thanks! Oh yeah...and many thanks to Hyde's Bride for the idea for Buffy's plan! ;)  
_


	51. Leaving Differences Behind

Chapter 51: Leaving Differences Behind

After a long afternoon and evening, the cabin had quieted down, and everyone had gone off to bed. Well, Buffy was sleeping in her and Spike's bed, and Dawn was bunking with her. Anya had taken one couch while Tara and Willow took the other. Inside the other room, well, that was a different story. Spike was leaning against the door smoking a cigarette, while Xander tried desperately to pry open a window, which apparently had been magically sealed too.

"Will you put that thing out?"

"I'm hoping Buffy'll smell it and come in here to yell at me for it. Then we can make a break for…"

"Shut up, Spike. She's not coming in here."

"You know, if you weren't such a sodding ponce all the time, we wouldn't be stuck in here together.

"Me?" Xander asked. "Please. You can't help but being an ass. Any opportunity you get to be a sarcastic, arrogant jerk, you take it." Xander banged on the window to no avail.

"You just don't approve of me and Buffy. You can't stand that she loves me. It kills you to see me with her, because you think she can do better."

"She _can_ do better," Xander offered. "But she wants you. I can't make her see differently. Look, Spike, I accept that she loves you. I can see that you love her too, in your own way. That doesn't mean that _I_ have to like you. And you don't have to like me."

"Good, 'cause that's not gonna happen." Spike put out his cigarette. "But it bothers Buffy that we don't get along."

"Yeah, well, she's gonna have to get used to it, because that's never gonna happen either, Spike." Spike moved across the room and sat down on the bed. He removed his shoes and leaned against the headboard. "What are you doing?"

"Getting comfortable. I figure it's gonna be a long night. Might as well make the most of it."

"Why do you get the bed?"

"Because I sat down first."

"But this is mine and Anya's room."

"So?" Xander practically growled and Spike smirked.

"That's just it about you, Spike. Your feeling of self-entitlement. 'Look, I think I'll take that Slayer. She looks hot. Let's make all of her bloody friends look like jackasses to her so that I come out smelling like a rose.'"

"That's the worst fake accent I've ever heard," Spike muttered. "And it's not like that. I don't give a bloody damn about how you look _or_ smell to her. She loves me, and I'm not going anywhere. Get used to it."

"Oh, I'm used to it. I just wish you'd grow up."

"Me?" Spike laughed.

"Yeah, you. You're gonna be a dad. The last thing Buffy needs in her life is some _vampire _doing a half-assed job."

"You're trying to give me advice on parenting? That's rich. I don't see Anya carrying the fruit of your loins, so until you've got a brat on the way, don't talk to me about being a good dad, alright Harris?"

"Look, it's just that Buffy's had it rough when it comes to her dad. Her kid deserves better than that." He cleared his throat. "I know what it's like to have a bum for a dad. My dad didn't leave, but he wasn't really there for me either."

"You wanna swap bad father stories?" Spike asked, eyes narrowing, "when my mum was pregnant with me, he beat her until she nearly had a miscarriage. He left when I was just a boy." Xander looked at a loss for words. "You know what he said to me the night he left? Huh? He said, 'I would have preferred to have a son, not a boy who's as worthless as a little girl." He flinched at the memories. "He was dead within the year. Too bad he didn't stick it out long enough for me to turn, because I'd have taken him out myself for what he did to my mum." He glanced at Xander who was staring at him with…what was that, pity?

"Spike, I didn't…"

"No, forget it," Spike said quickly. "But from that moment, I swore to myself that if I _ever_ became a dad, I'd do right by my kid. I'd honor his mum. I'd be the best bloody dad I could be." He glanced at Xander. "You think that just because he gave you a hard time that you had a lousy dad? At least you had a man in your life to try and set you straight, make sure you knew how to work for what you wanted." He pointed at the wall. "Buffy? She had a dad, and he abandoned her. And not just once. She hasn't heard from him since we left sodding Los Angeles. You have no idea what it feels like to watch her heart break a little more every time the phone rings and it's not him on the other line." He shook his head. "I never want my kid to go through that. That's why I'm here, Harris. I'm here because I love that woman and the baby she's carrying with everything in me. They're my life. Maybe it doesn't make sense to you. Hell, it doesn't make sense to me sometimes…how she could want me. But she does. I'm not about to give that up."

"I get that," Xander said quietly after a few moments of pause. "I do. I didn't want to get it, but I see the way she looks at you. She really does love you. And as much as I didn't want her to get hurt, a part of me almost wanted you to hurt her so she could see what I saw. But you've been there for her. And I see now…you're good for her. I just…"

"You don't think I'm good enough. You said that already."

"If it helps," Xander offered, "nobody's ever gonna be good enough for my best friend." Spike nodded.

"I know you're looking out for her. I know you've known her longer than I have. But I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna marry her. Maybe it won't be in writing on some fancy certificate, but I'm gonna make her my wife, and if you think I'm gonna let you get in the way of that…" Xander held his hands up.

"Are you kidding me? If I know Buffy, she's gonna be completely floored when she finds out what you're planning. And if _anybody_ tries to get in the way of her big day…well, I'd feel pretty sorry for them." Spike nodded.

"Good."

"Just so you know, Spike, I don't hate you. I used to. With a passion. But now you're like the annoying, drunk uncle that's always around. He's not _too_ bad, but sometimes it's a little too much to take."

"Oi," Spike defended. "I don't drink _that_ much."

"No, but you get what I mean."

"Yeah. I can accept that. And just so you know, sometimes you can be like the fly in the room in the middle of the night. It just keeps buzzing around, annoying the hell out of you until you just have to get up and chase it around with the swatter. Eventually, it gets the idea and moves on." Xander thought for a moment and nodded.

"I can accept that."

"So," Spike said slowly, "we're not friends?" He held a hand out, and Xander slowly took it, giving it a little shake.

"Not friends," he agreed. "But we'll lay off the bashing of each other while Buffy's around?"

"Yeah. Let's see how long that'll last," Spike smirked. Xander smiled back, and he nodded his head.

"Alright. Well, let's get some sleep." He threw a pillow on the floor, turned out the light and lay down on the floor. Just as he was closing his eyes to try and force sleep to come, he felt a thud as a blanket was tossed over at him. He then heard the creak of the box springs as Spike got situated on the bed. He smiled inwardly, shaking his head, and covered himself up with the blanket Spike has given him. He decided that it was a peace offering, and on that note, he relaxed a little and started to drift off to sleep.

***

"What the Hell are you doing?"

"Checking files. What are you doing?"

"Um, trying to save our asses," Faith hissed. "Travers is three rooms down the hall!"

"But I thought…"

"No you didn't! Best thing to do would be to wait until he's in a meeting. Any rookie should know that."

"Sorry! I've never spied before."

"Yeah? Well get used to it, because if we're gonna find out what the hell the Council's up to, we're gonna have to be pretty damned good at it."

"Something tells me it's not the Council."

"What're you talking about?"

"Travers and maybe one or two of the doctors have talked to me about this memory thing. Nobody else has said a word. I don't think they're all in on this."

"Maybe." Faith furrowed her brows. "Come on. I've got a training evaluation to get to."

"Travers wants me to talk to Dr. Owens again." She sighed heavily. "He's gonna try to push this memory thing on me."

"Well push it right back at him. I don't need you getting all brainwashed on me. Not now." Dana nodded.

"If he tries anything, I'm a Slayer, right? I can take him." Faith smiled a little.

"That's the spirit, Junior."

"Don't call me that. You make me sound like a boy." She looked past Faith's shoulder and out into the hall. "Ok. I've gotta go."

"Yeah. Look, Travers has a meeting in an hour. Meet me back here then, ok? Don't let anybody see you." Dana nodded.

"I won't." The two girls headed off in opposite directions, both anxious to return to their new goal: finding out exactly what Travers had in mind when it came to playing with the memories of his Slayers.

***

"Anything?" Dana paced nervously as she sifted through files, trying to keep them in the exact order she'd pulled them from.

"Nothing," Faith muttered. "I'm sure Travers keeps those kinds of things close at hand. We're gonna have to get into his office."

"Are you kidding me?" Dana wondered. "He's got that thing as secure as Fort Knox."

"Maybe," Faith thought, chewing on her lower lip as she stuffed the files back into the cabinet. Dana did the same with the folders she held. "Ok, so new plan. We try and get Travers' files."

"Oh no!" Dana exclaimed. "Faith, we can't."

"What's the worst that could happen? They'll lock us up? We've been there, you and me. We can take it."

"I know, but I'd rather not spend the rest of my life in a Council prison! I've heard horror stories."

"That's just it, Dana. Our lives? Already horror stories. We're tough girls. We're Slayers. We can do this. If we get caught, we can fight our way out." Dana shook her head.

"No! Last time I tried to escape…"

"Hey, I'm not saying you have to break necks or anything. I'm just saying, the Watcher's Council might know how to _watch_ a Slayer, but none of them put together will ever be as strong as one of us. Let alone two. Now are you with me or not?"

"I don't know, Faith."

"Come on. What do you have to lose?" Dana sighed and chewed on her lower lip before giving her a little nod.

"Alright. Tonight. But if we get caught…"

"We won't. I'm kind of a pro at these things. Just trust me, Dana."

***

Buffy woke as a sharp pain shot through her abdomen. She gasped for breath, sitting up in the bed. Dawn immediately awoke next to her.

"Buffy?!"

"Spike. Get…ow!" Buffy lowered her feet to the floor and attempted to stand up, but the pain was so intense that she had to grip the edge of the bed to keep from doubling over. Dawn hit the floor running, and she immediately started for the door. However, Tara's spell was still up and running, so she couldn't even turn the knob.

"Tara!" Dawn yelled. "Tara, wake up!" Everyone sleeping in the living room shot up off of their respective couches, and Tara came rushing over. From inside the room, the sounds of two pair of scrambling feet were heard.

"Dawn? What's going on?" It was Spike's exhaustion-laced voice.

"It's Buffy! I…I don't know what's wrong!"

"Oi! Open the door!" Spike yelled out. Tara was muttering something in Latin, and within seconds, the door flew open, and Spike came barreling out with Xander at his heels.

Once inside the other bedroom, Spike set his sights on Buffy's shaking form. She was groaning in pain, and fear gripped his still heart. Rushing to her side, he knelt down beside her.

"Buffy? What is it, luv?"

"Something's wrong," she whimpered, tears stinging her eyes. She hissed in pain and leaned forward, placing her forehead against his shoulder. "It's the baby." Spike swallowed the lump in his throat. But without a moment's hesitation, he scooped her up in his arms.

"Harris!" Xander poked his head around the corner.

"Is she ok?"

"I need you to drive us to the hospital. Now." As Spike brought Buffy into the living room, he was prepared to rip out the throat of anyone who dared bring up the subject of the Watcher's Council. He didn't give a damn about them right now. All that mattered was getting Buffy and the baby the best care possible.

"Spike, what about the sun? It'll be daylight in a few hours," Dawn pointed out nervously. Spike didn't seem to hear. He just held Buffy closer, stroking her hair.

"It'll be alright, luv." He glanced around at everybody else, excluding Xander. "Everbody just…stay put. We'll get this sorted out, won't we, pet?" He kissed her forehead softly and she clenched her eyes shut tightly.

"Come on. Get her to the car." Xander pulled on his shoes and grabbed for the car keys. "We'll have her there in twenty minutes. Thirty tops." Buffy groaned in pain and clutched at her stomach as Spike rushed her out the door and to the car. When they were safely in the back seat, Xander jumped into the passenger's side and quickly turned the car around to head down the long, hidden drive. When Buffy gasped in pain again, Spike held her closer.

"Step on it, Harris," Spike insisted through clenched teeth. He stroked Buffy's hair again and placed a kiss to the top of her head. "S'alright, luv. You're alright. It's gonna be ok."

* * *

_I know this chappy was a little short, but I didn't even start working on it until about 12:30 this morning. LOL...:) Anyway, let me know what you think! Thanks for all of your support and reviews so far!_


	52. Healing Scars

Chapter 52: Healing Scars

"How're you feeling?" Spike asked as he stroked Buffy's hair. She smiled tiredly at him and gave him a little nod.

"Better."

"Want me to get you something else to drink?"

"No. I've had enough water in the last two hours to put out a large house fire."

"No more pain?"

"No," Buffy promised, leaning into his hand, which now cupped her face. She placed her hand over his. Spike leaned in, putting his other hand against Buffy's belly. "You hear that, little bit? You're ok. But you gave your mum and me a good scare." Buffy sighed and closed her eyes, relieved that the worry was over. The doctor had told her that she was somewhat dehydrated and also needed more potassium in her diet. All that pain over a couple of diet issues? Needless to say, she'd had Spike make a run down to the market for a couple dozen bananas and some bottled water. "I just wanna get back to the cabin."

"Doctor wants you to rest for a few more hours before he releases you." Buffy nodded and frowned. She looked at the clock, and her eyes widened.

"Spike! The sun!" He glanced up at the clock too and frowned.

"I'm not leaving you."

"It's ok, Spike. We're fine here. Have Xander drive you back. He can come get me when it's time for me to come home."

"I don't want you here alone. Not with the Council coming into town." He took her hand in his and squeezed it. She smiled a little.

"I'm fine. Really. Don't worry about me." A throat cleared from the doorway.

"I can come back and wait with her," Xander promised. Spike looked over his shoulder, making eye contact with Buffy's friend and hesitated before nodding. He turned his attention back to Buffy.

"You're sure you're alright?"

"Yes," she smiled. "Stop worrying. It was scary, but it's over. And, we got more pictures of Bitty Buffy. How about that?" She pointed to the sonogram pictures on the side table. "Strong heartbeat. Growing normally. Perfect."

"Like her mum," Spike pointed out, leaning in to kiss her softly. "Alright. I hate leaving you, but…"

"But I don't want to explain to our baby someday that her father burst into flames because he was too stubborn to listen to her mother."

"Right then," Spike murmured, clearing his throat and leaning in for one more kiss. Buffy met him halfway, letting her lips linger on his for a few moments until he reluctantly pulled away. "I love you."

"I love you," she replied, a smile tugging at her lips. Spike's hand squeezed hers once more before he turned and left the room.

"I'll be right back, Buff," Xander promised.

"Thanks." She watched the love of her life and one of her best friends leave together, and she sighed, relaxing against her pillow and closing her eyes. She placed her hands against her barely-showing tummy and frowned. "You're not even born yet and you're already worrying mommy. Don't do that, ok? 'Cause I need you. And daddy does too. We might be strong physically, but emotionally? We can be total wrecks sometimes. So don't pull the scare card on us again, ok? At least not until you're sixteen and contemplating the idea of rebelling and getting a tattoo." She wished she could feel the baby moving, but she guessed it was still too early. Chewing on her lower lip, she let herself start to relax, and soon, she was sleeping soundly in her hospital bed, waiting on time to go back to her friends and Spike.

***

At exactly eight o'clock in the morning, Giles woke to the sound of a knock on his door downstairs. With a sigh, he quickly pulled on his jogging outfit and made his way down the stairs. When he opened the door, three men and a woman clad in suits stood before him.

"Hello, Mr. Giles."

"Hello," he said with a nod. "What can I help you with?"

"We're sorry to drop in unannounced like this, but Mr. Travers wanted the element of surprise. We'd like to evaluate your Slayer and see how things are doing. When word got out about her death, needless to say, there were some concerns that perhaps she wouldn't be in top form." Giles moved out of the way.

"Come in." The four piled into Giles' apartment, and he went to put on the tea kettle.

"I'm sorry, but you've wasted your time. Buffy's not here."

"She's not here?" the woman asked. Giles eyed her. He remembered seeing her around the Council. Victoria…Veronica…well, her name started with a V, anyway.

"No, I'm afraid you've come at the wrong time. She and her friends are on holiday. They're not expected back for at least a week."

"Oh, that's very unfortunate," one of the men said quietly. "Mr. Travers won't be pleased."

"I'm sure he'll manage to get over it."

"Mr. Giles, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your Slayer."

"Alright." The men looked at the woman, and she cleared her throat.

"How has she been fighting since her return from the grave?"

"The first couple of weeks were a bit shaky, but she survived, obviously, and she's back in top form now."

"Were there any after effects of the resurrection? We realize that she was brought back by a very powerful spell."

"There were no changes in her, if that's what you're asking."

"Alright. And about her acquaintances."

"You mean her friends."

"Well, yes. What can you tell me about her relationships? We have notes from the last visit."

"They're all very close," Giles assured them. "They still help her, and no, nobody has been seriously injured. Just the occasional scrape and bruise."

"And her relationship with the vampire, Spike?" Giles furrowed his brow.

"Why would you ask that?"

"It's just a question, Mr. Giles. It's known that Miss Summers protects the vampire. If she didn't, she would have slain him years ago."

"It's not that simple."

"William the Bloody has killed two Slayers."

"I can assure you he's not a threat to the Council."

"And the chip inserted into his head by the…Initiative, was it?" Giles eyed those standing in his living room, as he poured the now hot water into cups. He picked up the tea tray and carried the beverages into his living room. Everyone settled down and grabbed a cup.

"Like I said, Spike is not a threat."

"Would you say her relationship with him is…intimate?"

"What does this have to do with Buffy's status as a Slayer?"

"Mr. Travers doesn't approve of Buffy's alliance with the vampire. If it were up to him…"

"Well it's not up to him, is it? Spike has given us a tremendous advantage against the forces of evil with his strength and his knowledge of the various sides of demons that aren't written about in any of the texts I own." If he hadn't been so focused on protecting Buffy's secret, he might have been surprised at how good he was making Spike look. "He is not a threat, and Mr. Travers has nothing to worry about."

"Yes, well, thank you for your help, Mr. Giles," the V-named woman said with a slight smile. "I'm sure Mr. Travers won't mind if we stay on a while longer in Sunnydale. We'd like to talk to the Slayer personally." Giles swallowed hard.

"She may be gone longer than a week, but I can assure you that I know my Slayer, and she won't be very happy about returning home only to have to deal with an evaluation. Surely you have other things could need to do."

"If I didn't know better, Mr. Giles," she said with a testing smile, "I would think you're trying to keep her from us."

"Of course not." Giles took a sip of tea and placed his cup back down on the tray. "But I do know that the Council isn't on Buffy's list of favorite things. Your best bet would be to go back to London and return some other time." The woman looked at the men, who all stood up together. She stood with them.

"Thank you for your time, Mr. Giles. This is a small town, so I'm sure we'll be seeing you around." With that, they left, and Giles immediately went to the phone. He thought hard about calling and warning Buffy, but his conscience told him otherwise. If this danger truly was going to come from the Council, he wouldn't put it past them to bug his phone lines. No, it would be best for them to know as little as possible in order to keep Buffy focused, calm, and remaining in hiding. As much as he hated keeping his Slayer in the dark, he knew that it would be best to not make any mistakes or give any indication of her whereabouts away.

***

Buffy squinted into the bright sunlight as she and Xander headed off toward the cabin. Her hands rested comfortably on her belly, and his eyes were fixated on the road.

"You feeling ok?"

"I'm not gonna throw up, if that's what you're asking."

"It's not," he said with a slight smile. "We were really worried, Buff."

"I know. But it's ok now. It's over. Bitty Buffy's strong." She glanced up at him and caught the quick smile that graced his face. "It's funny. I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet, but Spike's so convinced it's a girl that he's got me calling it that too."

"I'm sure she'll be beautiful, Buff. Or handsome. However it turns out."

"Thanks," Buffy grinned.

"He was worried, Buff. I've never seen him like that. I mean, he looked like he didn't know what to do. It wasn't like…like when you died. I mean, that was final…at the time. He just shut down for about a week and then started doing something about it. But today, he was shaking. I mean, I didn't even know vampires could shake like that. He wouldn't talk the whole ride home. Not even to insult me." Buffy raised an eyebrow at that. "He was really scared."

"I know. This is kinda his only shot at having a family."

"It's not just that. I mean, you didn't see his face when we were waiting for the doctor to come out and tell us what was wrong. He looked like…like he was about to lose you all over again." Buffy felt her heart break a little. "I felt…"

"Sorry for him?"

"Well, yeah. I couldn't imagine what I'd do if something like that happened to Anya."

"It's ok. It was just my body's way of telling me to pay attention. I'm ok, Xander. Really."

"Still…it might take a little bit to convince Spike of that." Buffy smiled a little.

"Maybe. But he was the one telling me it'd be alright."

"I'll let you in on a little hit, Buff. We guys might say that, but in fact, we're just as scared, if not more scared than you when we say it." Buffy reached over and took Xander's hand in hers, giving it a little squeeze.

"Yeah, well you guys did a pretty great job today. I think this little baby is gonna be lucky to have you for an uncle." Xander squeezed her hand back and finally let go. "Thank you, Xander. Thanks for helping Spike today. And for helping me. It meant a lot."

"Hey," Xander said with a shrug, waving it off, "that's what best friends are for, right?" Buffy smiled a little and leaned her head on Xander's shoulder, grateful that for the first time in a long while, it felt like all the past tension between them had melted away, and despite how great things had been lately, she finally knew for certain that she had her friend back, and he wasn't going anywhere.

***

Spike paced the cabin, and the girls watched him with worry creasing their faces.

"They should be back by now. Something must have gone wrong."

"Spike, I'm sure the doctors are just being careful. Maybe she got to feeling bad again, and…" At Spike's even more worried gaze, Dawn swallowed hard. "I'm sure everything's ok, Spike. Don't worry."

"Yeah. I bet…I bet this'll make you feel better," Willow offered. "I managed to get a bar on my cell phone. I checked my voicemail. Buffy's dress is ready. You know, the one you caught her staring at…it's all done with her measurements…a couple extra inches just to be on the safe side."

"Yeah, well the dress is bloody useless without her wearing it." He frowned and felt like hitting something. He wanted to be there. He wanted to be the one bringing her home and taking care of her. Instead, he had to trust Xander to do it for him. It was always going to be like this. If their baby needed a doctor in the daytime, he wasn't going to be able to go. He felt so useless right now that he was fighting back tears of frustration.

"Spike, it's ok," Willow assured him. "You know how emergency rooms are. Three hours can turn into seven." Obviously, this didn't help matters any. But when the sound of tires crunching against gravel filled the room, Willow moved to the window and smiled back at the vampire. "It's them."

Of course, Spike wasn't going to be satisfied until he saw Buffy. But it wasn't long before the door was opening up, and Buffy came walking, obviously exhausted, but feeling much better. Spike immediately rushed to her and wrapped his arm around her. When he pulled back, he eyed her.

"Didn't squeeze you too tight, did I?"

"Mmm…maybe not tight enough," she whispered, kissing him softly. "Ugh…I just wanna go home and get in my own bed." She rested her head against his chest as he held her.

Xander closed the door behind them and moved over to greet his wife. He squeezed her a little tighter than usual and kissed the top of her head. She blinked in surprise but smiled up at him, running her hand along his face before kissing his lips. Willow and Tara looked at one another knowingly, both silently deciding it probably would have been a wise idea to bring earplugs, because at the way Spike and Buffy were staring at each other, on top of how Xander and Anya were doing the same to each other, nobody was going to get much sleep tonight.

"C'mon. Let's get you to bed," Spike offered, taking Buffy's hand and leading her into the bedroom. She didn't protest at first, but as soon as she sat down on the edge of the bed, she pouted up at him.

"I slept at the hospital."

"But you need your rest. So does the little bit." He knelt down in front of her and patted her belly, pressing his ear against it. "What's that? You think Mommy needs to be pampered and have her feet rubbed?"

"Oh, our baby knows its mommy so well," Buffy grinned, as Spike removed her shoes and socks. She lay back on the bed and Spike brought himself up to sit on the bed, pulling her feet into his lap. As he rubbed her feet, she stretched out and smiled at him. But he wasn't looking her in the eyes. He was looking down, and she could feel his hands trembling. Frowning, she sat up a little. "Spike?"

"Yeah, luv?"

"Look at me." His gaze tentatively joined hers. "It's ok. Really. I just need to be more careful about what I'm eating. I'm ok. So is the baby. Really." She reached over for her purse and pulled out the sonogram pictures, holding them out for him to see. "You saw for yourself, remember?"

"I know," he said, quietly shaking his head. "The baby books say that…that there's a chance…"

"Hey," she cut him off, trying not to let herself get paralyzed by her own worries, "I'm the Slayer. I can handle this, ok? So can Bitty Buffy." She smiled a little and brought one of his hands to her belly. "Trust me, Spike. We're not going anywhere." With a sigh, she shrugged her shoulders and leaned back in the bed. "Besides, if something did happen to me, we've got a couple pretty kick ass witches that could…"

"Don't even joke like that." His voice was low and gruff, but she could see the fear growing in his eyes. Buffy shook her head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't…" She reached out for him. "C'mere." Spike crawled up to lay beside her, and she wrapped her arms around him, kissing him softly. "I'm sorry. I just…I don't want you to worry, because everything's gonna be alright. I promise." Spike sighed and decided to put his fears aside for now. She didn't need him to worry like this. Not when he was sure that behind that strong façade was a very frightened expectant mother that thought that she also had to be strong. So, he brought his arms around her and rubbed her back, and she snuggled up against his chest, breathing in the scent of his cologne and feeling so much better now that she had him near.

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" she murmured somewhere near the edge of sleep. He kissed the top of her head and nuzzled the top of her head.

"I'm not going anywhere, luv."

* * *

_Hope you guys liked the chapter! Man, I've been called evil and a bastard (I guess bitch would be more suiting since I'm a girl, but bastard works too) since the last chapter, but I know it was all done in fun and love....right? Haha..:) Anyway, let me know what you thought of this one! Hope it was a much happier ending than the last chapter! More to come soon!_


	53. Out of the Woods

Chapter 53: Out of the Woods

The week went by uneventfully. Xander and Spike were getting along much better, but Buffy was pretty sure part of that was because Spike spent more time with her than anyone else.

Dawn had been doing homework every day. Luckily, she'd been able to get a week's worth of homework to take with her, though she hadn't been too keen on the idea of doing homework the _entire _time.

Giles hadn't called yet, so Buffy assumed that was because the Council was still snooping around, but she was looking forward to sleeping in her own bed again.

Her belly had gotten a bit bigger, and Spike was beginning to grow nervous that she might not fit into her dress for the surprise ceremony. She had a more prominent bump now at just around twelve weeks, and most of her shirts were starting to feel a little snug. She did, however, have a couple of flowing tops that still fit her well, and Spike silently thanked the powers that be that the dress she'd gone all googly-eyed over flowed out at the waist. There was hope yet for this surprise to go through without a hitch.

On this particular afternoon, Buffy and Spike were sitting on the couch watching one of countless movies they had already watched this week. This particular movie had Spike's attention, as it was Tomb Raider with Angelina Jolie.

"If I wasn't so fat, I could be as hot as her, right?" she asked, patting her stomach. Spike glanced at her and smiled.

"You're a million times sexier than her, Buffy."

"Oh shut up. I drooled over Brad Pitt. You can drool over her. You know, I bet they would have gorgeous kids if they ever got together."

"He's married to that Aniston girl, isn't he?"

"You've been watching way too much _Entertainment Tonight_," Buffy teased. "Oh well. Our baby will be beautiful. Can you just see her with curly blonde hair and blue eyes?"

"Let's face it, love, she's bound to have dark blonde hair if anything. Hmm…dunno how it works. Maybe I've bleached my hair for so long it's seeped into my genes." Buffy giggled at that.

"She'll be beautiful no matter what color of hair she has. I just hope she has my complexion. If she's as pale as you, the doctor might think we're not taking good care of her."

"Oi, I'm not that pale."

"Well, no, but in fluorescent lights, you kinda stand out. I'm surprised our doctor hasn't said anything about it." Spike shrugged and popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth. "Ugh."

"What?"

"You."

"What?"

"You! You don't have to eat human food, but when you do, you eat like a pig, and you don't get any weight. Me? All I have to do is look at a piece of pizza and I gain five pounds."

"You're pregnant, pet."

"Yeah, but still. It's not fair."

"And you're not fat. You're gorgeous. If it wasn't for these wankers, I'd ravish you right here and now."

"Um, hello? Right here. Right here in the same room," Xander spoke up.

"My point exactly," Spike chuckled, kissing Buffy softly.

"Ok, if this is gonna turn x-rated, at least, you know, do it quietly?"

"We're not that loud," Buffy laughed.

"Please."

"I think you were hearing yourself and Anya echoing off the walls."

"Come on. You guys are so much louder than us."

"What's wrong with being loud?" Spike wondered.

"Nothing when you're at home alone," Xander grimaced.

"Oh. Come _on!_" Buffy urged.

"What?"

"Are you forgetting something called…oh…let's see…my _birthday_?"

"What about it?"

"Oh my God!" she squealed. "It sounded like you guys were killing each other…in a very good way."

"I don't remember that. I was drunk."

"Yeah, and I wasn't."

"Oh yeah. You little trickster." Xander tossed a pillow at Buffy, and she made a face at him before putting the pillow in Spike's lap and propping her feet up on it. He immediately started massaging her achy feet. She moaned as he paid particular attention to her arches. Xander made a face but grabbed for the popcorn bowl. He took a handful and went back to watching the movie. "Yeah…you kick that robot's ass, Angie." Buffy raised an eyebrow and looked over in Xander's direction. "What?"

"Don't say that too loud. Anya might not like it."

"Oh, we have an understanding. See, she'd kill me if I told you this, but…" He looked over his shoulder to make sure she wasn't in hearing distance, "she has this raging fantasy. It's her and Patrick Swayze on the pottery wheel in _Ghost_." Buffy's jaw dropped. "We're allowed one completely unhealthy obsession with only one famous person. Mine happens to be Angelina Jolie."

"Oh my God," Buffy giggled.

"This is…wrong," Spike noted.

"Oh come on, Spike. You have to have one fantasy about someone…"

"No I don't," Spike bit harshly, glaring at the younger man.

"Oh, come on, Spike," Buffy laughed. "Who…and what?"

"Make him say first." Buffy cocked an eyebrow at Xander.

"Well, you know. Angelina Jolie…" He frowned. "Ok, in my parents' basement." Spike and Buffy gawked at him, and he laughed nervously. "Well, the fantasy started before I got my own place. You know, when she was that freaky girl in _Girl, Interrupted_? It's kinda stayed the same ever since. OK, Spike's turn." Spike said nothing.

"Fine," Buffy offered. "Brad Pitt…as a vampire…in his coffin."

"Bloody hell!" Spike groaned. "The coffin thing gets to you too? Why don't I just call Dracula up? I'm sure he'd_ love_ to get his fangs into you…again." Buffy slapped his arm.

"Hey!"

"Well…"

"I don't want _Dracula_. You're the only vampire for me. But Brad Pitt…as a vampire…well, that's never gonna happen, but it's hot, don't you think?"

"Uh, _no_," Spike replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Come on," she urged. "Now spill. I might act it out for you when I don't look like a cow."

"Ew! Ok, I _didn't_ need to hear that," Xander groaned. Spike shot him a look as if to say 'yeah, like you wouldn't get off on it.' He turned his attention back to Buffy.

"I don't have one. Honest, pet. All my fantasies are about you." He smiled at her as she crawled into his lap, and Xander thought for a minute about bolting from the room. But they wouldn't have sex right there in front of him, would they?

"That's sweet. And such a lie," she teased, her hands caressing his chest through the material of his shirt.

"Is not!" he insisted. Buffy cocked her head to the side and stared into his eyes.

"You're serious, aren't you?" Spike shrugged his shoulders and looked away.

"So?"

"Never? Nothing? Nobody?"

"Just you," he nodded. "Alright, maybe one or two with Drusilla." Her gaze hardened, and her jaw went rigid. "But that was before you, luv. The minute I stepped foot into The Bronze that night? That was the moment I started wanting you. Ruined all women for me that night, you did. Dru noticed it. And Harmony? Please! Thinking of you was the only thing that got me through those grueling hours of…"

"Hours?" Xander perked up. "Harmony? Really?"

"The woman could shag as long as she could flap her gums." Buffy wriggled in Spike's lap a little to get his attention. And get it, she did. He felt his cock beginning to stir, and he clenched his teeth together. "But at that last moment…you know the one…the only thing that worked was picturing you." Buffy's lower lip stuck out in a little pout.

"Aww…baby," she whispered, nibbling his neck.

"And with that, I'm outta here," Xander scoffed.

"No need, Harris. Watch the telly. Might wanna turn up the volume if you know what I mean." He grinned devilishly at Buffy before scooting her off his lap and rushing with her into the bedroom. The door slammed behind them, and before she was fully seated on the bed, he was pouncing on her. Her giggle erupted, echoing through the little cabin, before Spike muffled it with a hungry kiss. When he pulled back, he brushed his fingers alongside her cheek. "No need for fantasizes when I've got the real thing. You're all mine. Aren't you?" Buffy bit her bottom lip and grinned, nodding.

"Yeah," she whispered, lacing her fingers together at the base of his neck and brining him down for another kiss. "I'm all yours."

***

"This doesn't make any sense," Faith muttered, raking her fingers through her hair roughly and pacing her tiny London flat. Dana watched her from her perch on the couch.

"Maybe we're wrong. Maybe there's nothing going on."

"Right, and they just throw around words like 'memory loss' and 'experiment' for the hell of it." She sifted through some unimportant papers she'd snitched from the files at the Council. They'd come up with nothing, even after ransacking and then putting back together Mr. Travers' office. "He must keep those kinds of files at home."

"Or he doesn't have them at all." Faith stopped and looked at Dana. "Well, maybe he doesn't have any records. Maybe it's all in his head." Faith considered this for a moment before shaking her head.

"I don't think so. We've searched how many offices? We haven't come up with anything. Whatever this is, I don't think the rest of the Council's involved. At least not most of them. Maybe Dr. Owens. Maybe that one creepy doctor that's always lurking around outside the conference rooms."

"Faith?"

"What?"

"I wanna get out of here."

"Now?"

"Yeah. I just wanna go."

"Go where? Back to Sunnydale?"

"I don't know. I just…it's not safe here. I mean, even if they're not planning anything…it doesn't feel right here."

"Alright," Faith said quietly. "We'll leave tomorrow. We'll do one more sweep of the place tomorrow and if we don't find anything, we'll get the hell out of here. Alright?" Dana nodded.

"Ok."

"You probably better get back. They see you're here too long, and they might start to suspect something."

"You don't think they've bugged the place, do you?" Faith shook her head.

"If they had, we'd probably be behind bars right now." Dana thought about that for a minute.

"Yeah. You're probably right. Ok. So tomorrow, then."

"Yep. Tomorrow."

***

It was late afternoon when Giles called. Buffy was napping in the other room, so Spike was the first to take the phone off the hook.

"Hello?"

"Spike, it's Giles."

"Figured. Who else would use this line."

"Er…right. Yes, well I'm calling to tell you that the coast is clear. The visiting Council members boarded a plane about an hour ago. I watched them board, and I watched the plane leave, so it's safe for Buffy to come home now."

"Did they say anything about the…uh?" In the rare possibility that the line was tapped, he decided not to go much further than that.

"They didn't seem to know, so I don't think that was the reason for their coming. Still, I wanted to make sure they were out of town before I called."

"Right. Thanks. We'll, leave as soon as we gather our things." He hung up and turned to the lot of them.

"Alright, kids. Time to go home." Dawn glanced at Spike.

"Um, are we still going with the plan? You know, the weekend getaway?"

"Oh bollocks. Right. I need to make the hotel reservations. You think you can all make the house wedding-friendly in two days?"

"We're on it," Willow nodded. "Dawnie, we'll go shopping for a dress tomorrow."

"Yeah, well what happens if Buffy says no?" Dawn wondered. Spike eyed the young woman who smiled nervously. "Kidding! Geez. Go wake up Buffy. We'll take everything to the car." Spike headed into the bedroom to wake up his sleeping bride-to-be. He closed the door and leaned against it, watching her sleep so soundly with her hands shaped around her little baby belly. He shook his head a little and smiled, proud to say that this was the woman he was going to share the rest of his life with. Deep down, he knew that when she was gone, his reason for being would be gone, and there would be no point left to his eternity. Still, that was something he didn't want to think about as he knelt down next to the bed and placed his hands over hers. He was going to marry her. Maybe they wouldn't be legally bound, but that wasn't the point. What mattered was what he felt in his heart; in his gut. This was meant to be.

"Buffy," he whispered, stroking her cheek softly. Her eyes fluttered opened, and she smiled when she saw him.

"Hey…I was having a really good dream."

"Were you?"

"Mmm…you were doing things to me that would make…well, even us blush." Spike chuckled and leaned forward to kiss her softly.

"We can do them now, you know."

"What?"

"Giles called. We're free to go." Buffy sat up quickly and sighed with relief.

"I'm so glad…I can finally sleep in my own bed tonight."

"Or you can sleep in a big, not-so-comfy hotel bed with, what was it? Two days of nakedness." Buffy's eyes widened.

"Yes please!" Spike chuckled and kissed her once more.

"Right then. I'll make the arrangements. We'll go home, get showers, and then prepare to spend the next two days of our lives wearing nothing but each other."

"Ooh, I like the sound of that," she murmured. "Just you and me…"

* * *

_Thanks again for all your kind comments and feedback! Please keep it coming! I give you something to read....you can do the same for me, k? ;) I really appreciate it!_


	54. Hotel Fun

Chapter 54: Hotel Fun

"You are evil," she laughed, as he finished licking off the rest of the hot fudge sundae he'd created on her adorable tummy. "I wanted to eat some of that."

"Got plenty left, pet," he said, motioning toward the room service cart. "Gotta say, a Buffy sundae tastes better than anything."

"Anything?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. He grinned, kissing his way down her belly.

"Well, almost anything." He gasped as he circled her clit with his tongue, and she grabbed the sheets tightly between her fingers, arching back.

"Mmm…that's still number one on my list." He crawled back up her body and gave her a soft kiss.

"Why'd you stop?" she moaned, fingers caressing his sides.

"'Cause I'm evil." Buffy made a face but craned her neck up so she could kiss him once again.

It was the morning after their first night in the hotel. Last night had been amazing, and Buffy had woken up feeling great for the first time in a while. The bed was pretty comfortable, and she hadn't felt sick to her stomach. And to top it all off, as soon as she'd hopped out of the shower that morning, Spike had ravished her once again, telling her he couldn't get enough of how sexy she looked carrying his child. She was really beginning to enjoy this pregnancy for the first time, now that she wasn't feeling so sick.

"You got me all sticky," she laughed, as he kissed his way down her neck and chest before taking advantage of Buffy's slightly fuller breasts. He flicked his tongue across one nipple as he rolled the other one between his fingers. "Oh God. Don't stop what you're doing." She took a few shaky breaths, and moaned as he released one breast and let his hand travel lower to caress her damp folds. She moaned, as he sucked the rosy bud before treating the other to the same torturous caresses.

"Spike," she moaned, "oh God…" He plunged two fingers into her hot center, tugging up a little to find the sensitive spot that made her whimper. And the moment he found it, that little whimper came through, and he felt his erection twitch a little. "Oh…"

"Fuck, Buffy," he muttered, as her hand shaped around his cock and began to stroke slowly, her thumb circling his tip as she did so. "Gonna be the death of me. Second death."

"But who's counting?" she grinned, picking up the pace as his mouth sparked a reign of kisses down her neck. He positioned his shaft at her slick entrance, and with a little push, he was inside of her. She bit her bottom lip and adjusted her hips a little, taking him in further. He groaned at how hot she felt around him, and she let out a little gasp of satisfaction when he stretched her walls in just the right way.

She brought her legs around his hips to pull him in further, and he groaned, burying his face into her neck. She arched her neck back a little and pulled her arms tightly around him, holding him there for a few moments while they both gained control of themselves.

"I love you so much," she whispered, stroking the muscles in his back and reveling in the way his lips placed the softest kisses to the pulse point on her neck.

"Love you," he muttered, his tongue making a trail to the hollow of her throat, where he nipped softly. When she moaned, he felt the vibrations against his lips, and he kissed her again, making a path back to her lips.

With a little impatient urging from her hips, he began to move inside of her, filling her so completely that she thought she might burst. Her heart began to pound as he pulled back, hands gripping the pillow on either side of her head. The look in her eyes terrified an excited her all at once. When he looked at her, his fierce blue eyes filled with hunger and unbridled need, she knew she was the only woman in the world who could make him feel that way, and it made her wetter just to think about it.

He stared down at her as he moved within her, and he watched her lips purse together and come apart with each gasp of breath and each cry he elicited from her. It spurred him on to hear his name dancing from her lips. He looked into those sparkling green eyes and saw his future. These were the eyes he wanted to wake up to every morning. This was the woman he couldn't believe he hadn't been waking up to not very long ago. For the first time in his life he was truly grateful to be a creature of the night, because if he'd remained William Pratt, bumbling poet with the heart of a lion and the courage of a mouse, he'd never gotten the chance to experience the only thing that had ever made him feel like a real man.

"God I love you," he groaned into her mouth as her walls pulsed around him. His words made her heart slam harder against her chest. She brought her hand between them and circled her fingers around her swollen clit, and within moments, he felt her juices coating his cock, and the strength of her inner muscles began to milk him. With a few quick, hard thrusts, he came inside of her, and he buried his cries in her mouth, kissing her with more fervor than before.

When he finally pulled away and rolled off of her, she reached out for him, snuggling up against him with a satisfied smile on her face. He pulled one arm around her shoulders, and the other caressed her tummy. She sighed softly against him, placing soft kisses to his shoulder.

There really was nothing like lying in bed with him right after. He was a source of strength that she'd never expected. For so long, she'd spent so much time and energy trying to repel him, when all along, he had exactly what she needed. He loved her so intensely that sometimes it scared her, because she knew she felt the same about him. Love that crazy and intense didn't normally have a happy ending. But being with him was what made her happy. As sugary sweet as it might have sounded, she needed to fall asleep with him, because she knew that if she was in her arms, that's exactly where she'd be when she woke in the morning.

***

"All ready?" Faith asked as she tossed her clothes into a suitcase. She had the phone cradled between her ear and her shoulder.

"Yeah. I'm just throwing the rest of my things in my bag. Now we gotta decide where to go."

"We'll figure it out when we get to the airport. I'm thinking Sunnydale doesn't sound so great right now, considering Giles is still working for the Council."

"I trust Mr. Giles," Dana said quietly, "but then again, I trusted Mr. Travers."

"Yeah, well, don't worry about that. Maybe we couldn't find any dirt on him, but if something's going on, I wanna get as far away from it as I can."

"Faith, if you don't want me to go with you, you can tell me. I know you're kind've a loner."

"Yeah, well, who better to have my back than a sister Slayer, huh? Just shut up and keep packing. I'll be there in five minutes."

"Great. See you then, Faith."

Just down the road, Dana was just hanging up the phone when she heard a knock at her door. Frowning, she grabbed the nearest weapon she could find and moved to the door.

"Yeah?"

"Ms. Mullens, it's Dr. Owens."

"I'm not feeling very good. Can you come back later?"

"Actually, Mr. Travers wanted me to give you this. You left it at headquarters." Dana frowned and slowly opened the door to see Dr. Owens standing there with her billfold.

"How'd that….I thought I had it in my purse." She reached out and took it. "Thanks…"

"You're welcome. Will you be coming in for your training session with Frederick today?"

"Uh…no. Not feeling well, remember?"

"Right. Well, I'll leave you to rest. Take care of yourself, Dana."

"Thanks," she muttered, ushering him out the door. But as soon as he stepped out of the way, another doctor, the one she'd seen lurking outside of the conference rooms during her sessions with Dr. Owens and Mr. Travers, stepped in front of her. She gasped a little and tried to shut the door, but he moved into the door way and pushed her aside.

"Ms. Mullens," he said with a pleasant smile. He glanced over to the couch where her bag lay with several articles of clothing strewn about, waiting to be packed. "Going somewhere?" Her gaze followed his, but the moment she looked back at him, his fist swung out and struck her across the face. She tumbled backward, and he pounced, stepping on her arm and holding her down. She tried to kick at him, but she was disoriented now.

"No!" she screamed.

"It's alright, Dana," he assured her. "Mr. Travers only wants what's best for you. He wanted me to take away your pain."

"No. Please. Don't!" She was crying now, tears streaming down her face as her strength failed her. "Stop!" The moment he pulled a syringe out, in her mind, he turned into the man who'd drugged her in the past. He turned into the man she'd killed. "No…please."

"It's ok, Dana. Just relax." Before she could scream again, she felt the needle puncture her flesh, and something burned through her veins like a raging fire. Moments later, her will to scream was gone, and she was plunged into darkness.

***

"Ow!" Dawn hissed, sucking on her finger which was now bleeding from a paper cut. She and Willow were busy hanging up wedding bell decorations in the doorway leading to the living room.

"You ok, Dawnie?"

"Yeah," Dawn muttered. "Stupid decorations. Why can't you and Tara just do a spell, and…"

"It'd be easier," Willow admitted, "and a lot faster, but it's better this way. The magicks should be used to help people…not to help yourself."

"Learned that in your fancy witch school, huh?"

"Oh yeah." Willow frowned. "But it's a good point. If you tap out your powers on things like this, more than likely something big is gonna happen, and your powers won't work right when you need them."

"Maybe I should be a witch. I mean, you weren't always one."

"You could be, Dawnie, but I think you'd be better off going to school and college and getting a job doing…you know, non-mystical things."

"You don't think I'm strong enough to be a witch?"

"Oh, I think you are. I just think you should do something else. You're really smart, Dawn."

"Please, you're way smarter than me." Willow shrugged her shoulders. "I let magick get in the way for a while. I think if you really focused, you could make something of yourself." Dawn smiled a little.

"I'm gonna miss you and Tara when you move out."

"Hey, Buffy and Spike are gonna need an extra room when the baby comes."

"Still, it's nice having you guys around, you know? Buffy and Spike are kinda in their own little world sometimes."

"We'll be there every day, Dawn. It's not like we're moving across the country. We'll still see each other."

"I know. I just…I'll miss you guys. That's all." Willow leaned over her ladder and gave Dawn a hug.

"We'll miss you too."

"Is it still considered tacky to decorate the post-nuptial car with condoms?" Anya asked, walking into the room with a box of Trojans in her hand. Willow's eyes widened.

"Where'd you get those?"

"Under the sink in the bathroom," Anya shrugged. "Why?" Willow looked at Dawn, whose face had gone quite pale.

"Uh, no reason. Um, no, I don't think Buffy wants a condom-covered car. Could you help Xander with the outside stuff?"

"Ok." Anya walked off with the condoms, and Willow turned to Dawn.

"Something you wanna tell me?"

"Not really," Dawn said nervously.

"You and Jake?" Dawn's face went from pale white to red, and she covered it with her hands.

"Really, really don't want to talk about it, Willow." Dawn climbed off of her step ladder and headed into the kitchen. As expected, Willow was right behind her. "Ok, please don't give me the third degree, ok?"

"I won't, and I'm not gonna ask again, ok? Just…whatever you're doing, be careful."

"I already got this lecture from Buffy, ok? I'm not stupid." Willow nodded uncertainly.

"I know. I'm just worried about you." Dawn placed a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Don't. I'm ok. It's cool. I promise." She hugged Willow again.

"Does…does Buffy know?" Dawn rolled her eyes, and Willow's frown grew deeper.

"Buffy knows Jake and I were talking about it. She also knows that I'm old enough to make decisions for myself."

"Well, not legally," Willow pointed out. "He could get in trouble, and…"

"Willow, please, just trust me. I really like Jake, ok? What we do is our business. I don't want to talk about it." Willow nodded.

"Ok, but really, Dawn, if you ever need to talk, don't be afraid to come to me, ok?"

"I got this talk from Buffy too. I don't need to talk, but if I do, I won't hesitate. K?" Willow nodded, still not quite satisfied. "Now come help me with the rest of the decorations."

***

"It's hard to believe," Buffy thought aloud, as she stared up at the ceiling of the hotel room.

"What's that?"

"It's March."

"Yeah? So?"

"It's kinda crazy to think about. I mean, three months ago, I'd just gotten pregnant. Five months ago, I was still in the ground. Five months ago, you had no idea we'd ever be here." Spike kissed the top of her head.

"Neither did you, as I recall."

"Well, I was dead."

"I mean, after you came back," he chuckled, caressing her shoulder.

"It seems like so long ago, you know?" Her fingers lazily made circles on his abs, feeling the muscles shrink and jump at her touch.

"Yeah. Really does. Been through a lot though."

"Tell me about it." She yawned and stretched in his arms. "Can you believe it, Spike? In six months, we're gonna be parents. I mean, that's half a year. We're going to have a living, breathing, crying baby on our hands. I've never even changed a diaper. Have you?"

"Considering humans don't generally let vampires like myself within two feet of their offspring, no. Haven't a clue which way to put the sodding thing on."

"We should practice."

"Practice?"

"Yeah. You know…take a parenting class or two. I bet they have night classes for the day workers. It might be fun. The doctor did suggest signing up for birthing classes. I think maybe it'd be a good idea. You know, go to a birthing class and then out on patrol. Make a little date night out of it." Spike couldn't help but laugh a little. "What?"

"You realize our dates are about to go from doing lots of little nasties to a quick movie and maybe a bite to eat before patrolling and then coming home and doing diaper duty, don't' you?" Buffy shrugged.

"We'll manage. Besides, Dawn'll be there, and…"

"And we can't let your little sis play nanny while we're out saving the world. We'll have to come up with something better, pet."

"I know. Too bad they don't have demon-proof baby strollers. We could take the baby with us if that were the case." She frowned and groaned.

"God, what are we gonna do?"

"We'll adjust, pet. That's what you do when something new comes along." Buffy smiled a little.

"Yeah. I guess so."

"If all else fails, we can take turns patrolling. Mummy stays in one night while Daddy goes and makes the world a little safer. Next night, we switch roles. Daddy stays home, checks for monsters in the closet or under the bed, and mommy goes out and hunts monsters."

"Unfortunately _those_ monsters are real," Buffy complained. "But I guess when you're the Slayer's kid, that comes with the territory." She sighed and got up out of bed, making her way in the nude over to the room service cart. She dipped a spoon into the large bowl of ice cream, and pulled it out. The ice cream dripped back into the bowl. "It's melted."

"I can call for more," he suggested.

"It's ok," she grinned. "Not really hungry right now. Not for food, anyway." Spike smirked as Buffy hurried back over to the bed, crawling in and moving to straddle his hips. "Up for another round, Mr. Pratt?"

"Let me think," he murmured, just before grabbing her hips and flipping her over swiftly but gently onto her back. She giggled as his showered kisses down her collarbone and her chest, and she felt her heart swell with more happiness than she'd felt in quite some time. For a moment, she wished this weekend could last forever, because it would be so much nicer than having to go back to the somewhat crazy life she led as a Slayer.

***

The moment Faith reached Dana's apartment, it was obvious to her that something was wrong. The door was cracked open just a little, and when she stepped inside. Dana's things were gone. There was a note sitting on the table. Frowning, she walked over and picked it up.

_Faith, _it read_, I had to stop by the Council. I left something important I need for the trip. Meet me there._

"Oh Hell no," Faith muttered. First of all, this didn't look anything like the writing of an eighteen year old young woman. Second of all, if she'd really left it, she'd have posted it to the door outside, considering Faith only lived five minutes away.

Closing the door behind herself and heading down to her the cab, she gave the driver directions to Council headquarters. On the way there, she dug through her bag, finding her best knife and sticking it up the sleeve of her jacket. Whatever the Hell they'd done to that Slayer, she was going to see to it that they undid it.

* * *

_Thanks again for your feedback! I'm a couple chapters ahead in writing now, so yay! But please leave me some feedback, because I'd love to hear what you thought of the chapter! ;) I'm going to try to get as much written this week as I can, because I'm leaving town for a week on the 21st._


	55. A Slayer's Work is Never Done

Chapter 55: A Slayer's Work is Never Done

It was dark when Faith set foot into Council Headquarters. Most of the employees had gone home, and by all appearances, those left behind weren't on high alert to report any sign of her. The secretary smiled at her and offered her a cup of coffee, which she quickly declined.

"Do you have an appointment with Mr. Travers?"

"Uh, no. I just left something behind."

"Oh. Alright, dear. I'm on my way out, and I'm supposed to lock up. I can wait for you."

"Ok," Faith said uncertainly. "Uh, thanks." The woman smiled and nodded. Faith headed up the stairs, the knot in her gut pulling tighter with each step she took. The knife in her sleeve chafed against her arm, and she closed her eyes, taking a few steadying breaths. When she retrieved the weapon, she felt her stomach lurch at the thought that she was actually prepared to kill Travers or anybody else if they were harming her fellow Slayer.

For the first time in years, the thought of killing actually scared the hell out of her. She had to pause for a moment, holding onto the stair railing to gain her composure. Whatever it was they were doing to Dana, she had to know, and she had to protect her.

When she reached the correct floor, she took a few more shaky breaths before tucking the knife back into her sleeve. She then exited the stairwell and began her slow journey toward Travers' office. But, before she could even get close, she heard hushed voices from another corridor. Swallowing hard and licking her dry lips, Faith turned in the other direction, making her way closer until she could hear the words better.

"It's too much, Mr. Travers. With all due respect, we should stop." Faith didn't recognize this voice. "Dr. Owens, don't you agree?"

"I…Mr. Travers, I don't think it's wise. Too much of the drug could do permanent damage. She could lose more memories than…"

"More, damn it!" Travers barked. "I know she's been snooping around, and I don't want word of what she's found getting out."

"And then what? What do you want to do next?" Dr. Owens asked impatiently.

"Next we deal with Miss Lehane."

"Good luck catching her. She's brutal, Mr. Travers."

"We won't have to do anything. We'll send Dana." Faith held her breath as she strained to hear more. "Oh for God's sakes. Give me that."

"No, Mr. Travers!" But at the immediate hushed silence, Faith knew he'd given more of whatever the hell that drug was to Dana." She clenched her fists at her side and pressed herself up tightly against the wall, trying to force back the emotions flooding her. What the Hell did Travers think he was doing, playing with Dana's mind like that? Now he was coming after her?"

"Thank you for your cooperation, gentlemen," Travers said calmly. "Are those the specifics? The…the amounts and everything?"

"Yes, sir, but it's not a drug to be tested lightly…"

"That'll be all, gentlemen. I do believe I can take it from here." Faith's eyes widened and she strained harder, and that was when she heard a low grunt, followed by a gurgling gasp, and she peeked around the corner to see the two shapes surrounding Travers fall to the floor. For a moment longer, she let fear grip her, but then she hardened her gaze on Travers.

"Where am I?" the soft voice cooed from the chair she sat in. Faith felt sick to her stomach. "Who are you?

"What do you remember, Dana?"

"Remember? I don't…I don't remember." Faith could hear her voice cracking. "Why am I here?"

"Do you know who you are?"

"Dana Mullens."

"Do you remember what you are?" There was silence for several minutes.

"I can't…there was…I don't know. It's blurry. I can't think."

"Think, Dana. What are you?" Faith watched as Travers crouched down in front of the chair, eyes full of compassion and patience. It was all she could to not to stick that knife right between his ears and watch the blood flow.

"A…a Slayer," she breathed.

"How do you know that?"

"You told me I am."

"Right." He smiled and patted her hand. "Do you know why you're here?"

"No." She was on the verge of tears.

"I brought you here, Dana. You're here to work for me. To stop the evils of this world."

"I'm so confused."

"I know, dear. Just rest now," he assured her. "You'll feel better after a little sleep."

"Mr. Travers?"

"Yes, Dana?"

"Who's Faith? I remember…I remember her face, but…"

"Faith," he hesitated. Faith's eyes narrowed. "She's your first mission, Dana. She's a rouge Slayer. She's been working against the Council."

"I feel…I feel like maybe…"

"That you were too?"

"Yeah." She let out a little whimper.

"It's alright, Dana," he assured her. "Your first mission will be your redemption."

"What do I have to do?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head, Dana. Just rest now." Dana nodded, and the rage boiled inside of Faith. As much as she wanted to go in there and knock heads, she also wanted to help the young woman who had absolutely no power over herself anymore. She knew the smart thing to do would be to run, but she was going to get Dana away from those brainwashing motherfuckers, and she was going to find a way to fix the mess they'd made.

***

They had just gotten out of the shower and were settling in to go to bed when Buffy heard the screams from down the hall. She and Spike looked at each other, and without words, pulled on their clothes. Buffy grabbed her stake out of one of her bags and they rushed down the hall.

The screams grew louder, and they were definitely not of the pleasurable kind. Pinpointing the exact door, Buffy gave it a hard kick in the middle, and it swung open. Right away, Buffy saw the problem. A half-naked woman lay across the hotel bed, and a vampire was about to sink his fangs into her.

"Help!" the woman screeched, as soon as she saw Buffy. The vampire turned his attention to the Slayer, snarled, and then bolted toward the door. Buffy grabbed him and slung him against the wall, leaving a nice crack in the drywall.

"Spike!" Buffy nodded for him to help the woman, and he rushed over to her, getting her up and out of the room.

"What's wrong with his face?" the woman bawled as he ushered her out of the room.

"Uh, he must've slipped you something, luv. Let's go get you some coffee, yeah?" The woman pulled her robe around her and held onto Spike's arm, while Buffy continued pummeling the vampire in the face.

"What's the big idea, lady?" the vampire asked, baring his fangs.

"The big idea is that you're ruining my romantic weekend with my honey, and I don't really appreciate it!" She delivered a swift roundhouse kick to his jaw, and he flew backward into the bedside table.

"Who do you think you are?"

"Me? I'm the Slayer." She smiled sweetly at him as she kicked him in the nose. He groaned as the blood spurted forth and trickled down his lips. He licked at it, and Buffy grimaced.

"The Slayer?" Anger flickered in his yellow eyes.

"I take it you've heard of me?"

"This'll be fun. I've heard Slayers taste better than any other," he snarled.

The vampire pulled himself up and lunged at Buffy, pushing her back into the wall. He started to go for her jugular when he felt something strange against his stomach. He looked down at then back up into her eyes. Buffy kneed him in the groin.

"You're…should you really be fighting in your condition?" Buffy spun, kicking him hard in the chest. He fell onto the bed and rolled off onto the floor, clutching his stomach.

"Doctor says it's ok to keep doing whatever it was I did before the baby," she shrugged. "That includes beating the crap out of scum like you." The vampire chuckled as he lunged toward her again, and she tightened her fist around the stake.

"Wait'll the boys hear the Slayer's having a kid!" Buffy frowned again and punched him hard in the side of the head.

"Now why'd you go and say that? You know…that's only gonna get you killed." At his perplexed expression, she plunged the stake into his chest and backed out of the range of the dust cloud. Wiping her hands and blowing dust particles off of the tip of her stake, she sighed and left the room.

Before she went in search of Spike and the young woman, she deposited her stake in her and Spike's room and then headed down to the lobby. A couple of policemen were talking to the girl. Spike caught Buffy's gaze and nodded to her. She nodded back to let him know everything was taken care of.

"That's her! She came in and…and she helped me."

"Did you see the man, Miss?" the officer asked, hurrying over to her. Buffy nodded her head.

"Yeah, I did, but he got away. I kicked him a couple of times, and he ran off. I don't think he's gonna bother her again."

"You kicked him?" He glanced down at her tiny frame and pregnant profile and then looked back into her eyes. "She said he was awfully strong."

"Yeah…well, I take self-defense classes at the Y." She looked over the policeman's shoulder and at the young woman. "You ought to enroll."

"Oh…ok. Um, thanks. Thanks for…for helping me." Buffy nodded.

"Well, can we get a statement from you, Miss? What'd he look like?"

"He…uh…he was tall. Brown hair. I didn't get a good look at him. He was…uh, hiding his face."

"Oh…well, uh, what direction did he go?" Buffy pointed but shrugged.

"I really don't…it happened so fast." The last thing she wanted to do was have some poor sap who was in the wrong place at the wrong time get busted for something he didn't do.

"Alright, well, thank you for your help, Miss." The officer turned back to the younger woman and offered her a ride to another hotel, as her room for the night was obviously trashed. She quickly accepted and headed out with the officers. Buffy turned back to Spike and frowned.

"A Slayer's work is never done."

"C'mon, Pet. We've got the rest of our weekend to get back to." She smiled a little and linked her fingers with his.

"You know, it'd be so much easier if we could just tell the world vampires existed. At least then they could teach classes. Like: How to Spot a Vamp 101 or The Art of Staking." Spike chuckled and squeezed her hand.

"Would be easier, but maybe not too safe for a certain vampire you know and love." Buffy frowned.

"Good point." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "He knew."

"What?"

"About the baby. It's gonna get out. Really soon, Spike. Then we're gonna have a lot more to worry about than just a bunch of vamps wanting to get their hands on the Slayer's baby."

"Don't think about that now, pet. This weekend? It's about you and me. Nothing else, ok?" Buffy nodded, still a little concerned. He leaned in and brushed his lips over her ear.

"Trust me, pet. You and me? We're the best protection our little bit's ever gonna have. Nothing's gonna happen to her, ok?" Buffy nodded a little and rested her head on his shoulder, feeling a little better now.

"I trust you, Spike." He smiled a little at that and led her back into their room, shutting and locking the door behind them.

***

Faith paced her apartment. Every few minutes, she'd pause and look at the phone. Her gut told her that she needed to call Giles and tell him what had happened. But another part of her told her that they would have no reason to believe her. No, she had to do this on her own.

Her door was chained shut. She knew she should leave. They could find her here. But right now, she needed to sleep, and this was the only place she had to go. After she had a good rest, she was going to figure out how to get Dana out of Travers' clutches.

She settled down on the couch and closed her eyes, listening to the sounds surrounding her little apartment. She could hear a baby crying in the apartment to the left of her. A dog barking in the one to the right.

She couldn't think like this. She had to sleep. She had to prepare herself, because tomorrow, more than likely, she was going to not only come up against Quentin Travers, but she was going to have to face off against a fellow Slayer, and she decided then and there that she would not let herself lose this time.

She threw herself off the couch and headed into the small bedroom, closing the door and locking the door. She flopped down on the bed and buried her head under her pillow, trying to block out the sounds of the night, and for the first time, worrying not about what was out there in the dark but what would happen when the sun came up.

But just as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard a loud banging at her door. Jumping up out of bed, she grabbed her knife let herself out of her room and rushed to the door.

"Faith! It's me! Please…help!" Dana? Faith shook her head, wondering what the hell had happened. Maybe the drug hadn't worked on her after all. "Let me in! They're after me!" Knife at the ready, Faith slowly unchained and unlocked the door. When she opened it up, a frantic Dana burst in and closed the door behind herself.

"Dana?"

"Please. They're…they're coming after me."

"I thought they…Jesus, look at you."

"I'm so scared, Faith," she cried, hands shaking against the doorknob. "They want me to kill you. They…they say you're trying to destroy the Council. That you're using me."

"Well fuck them," Faith muttered. "They're the corrupt ones." She turned to find a bottle of whiskey she'd stored in one of the cabinets. But just as she turned to grab for it, she felt something blunt strike the back of her head. Groaning, she fell to the floor, hitting her head on the side of the counter in the process. Dana stood over her, her previously frantic eyes now dull and lifeless.

"What the…"

"Sorry, Faith. This is my redemption." She reached back and then powerfully swung her fist into the side of Faith's head, and the Slayer felt darkness surround her, putting all of her senses under as she was dragged from the room.

* * *

_Hi all! Just wanted to let you know that I have written the wedding chapter. YES it's the next chapter, and yes, there will be some surprises. But, it's a happy chapter, so don't fret! :) Please leave me some feedback. I'd love to hear what you thought of the chapter! I also hope that you'll find the next chapter so sugary sweet that your teeth will ache, because that's pretty much what happened when I wrote it today. LOL. Anyway...enjoy! Let me know what you thought! ;) Thanks!_


	56. Love You All My Days

_Author's Note: Ok, here we go folks. This is the chapter that I've been worried about, and it's ultra fluffy, so if it gives you a cavity from all the sugar, please don't send me your dental bills, because I'm a poor, unemployed college grad with no money and health problems of my own. ;) Anyhoo, leave me a comment after you're done reading! ;)_

Chapter 56: Love You All My Days

The weekend had gone by too quickly, but on Sunday night, Buffy and Spike were walking home. Spike carried their things, and Buffy looked around, scouting for vampires. So far, the night was quiet and calm. Spike was quiet too. Too quiet.

"What's wrong?" she finally asked him.

"Hmm?"

"You're quiet. Are you ok?"

"Sure." He sounded too positive at that point. "Just not ready to go home quite yet."

"I know what you mean," Buffy pouted. "But I guess the weekend had to end sometime."

"Doesn't mean the honeymoon's over, right?" Spike wondered. Buffy furrowed her brows. "What?"

"Nothing. Just…that was a funny way to say it." Spike shrugged at Buffy's comment, and he looked down at the ground.

"You called Willow and Tara before we left, didn't you?"

"Sure. Wanted to see if they'd already gone out patrolling."

"Did they?"

"Yeah. Said the cemetery's quiet. Looks like the Slayer gets a break tonight."

"Good," Buffy breathed. "That's a relief." She sighed and let out a slow breath. Her hands wandered to her tummy, and she smiled at the feeling of her skin, slightly-stretched, under the fabric of her flowing, blue blouse.

Spike couldn't help but stare at her now. She looked so beautiful when she smiled like that. She smiled like she was the only person in the world that could feel what she was feeling just then. And she probably was. Slayer pregnancies were very rare, and who knows how different pregnancies could be or feel for Slayers as opposed to regular women.

"God, look at the moon," Spike murmured, eyes toward the sky. Buffy followed his gaze.

"It's huge," she agreed. "And here's a plus. No werewolves. I don't hear them, anyway."

"Think we're safe from them tonight, pet."

"Good. I just wanna go home and soak in the bathtub for about three hours." She giggled as Spike's hand moved to her lower back and his fingers brushed the skin exposed under her top. "Tickles."

"Sorry, luv."

"It's ok."

"You remember that dress?"

"What?"

"That dress. That night…we were walking, and you saw it in the window."

"You remember that?"

"'Course I do," he chuckled. "Your eyes lit up when you saw it. Tell me what you were thinking about." Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

"Nothing much."

"Go on. Tell me," he urged. Buffy smiled sadly and looked down.

"I was just thinking about us…you know, getting married. If we could. But it was just a silly fantasy."

"Isn't silly, pet."

"Yeah, well…" They turned onto Revello Drive. Spike peered down the street a ways, seeing the candles flickering in the back yard. He took her hand and hoped he could keep her attention from the house for a few minutes.

"If we could get married, you'd…you want to?" Spike cocked his head to the side as he glanced at her. She smiled a little and ducked her head.

"Why not? I mean, we're family now. We're…we're bonded, you know?"

"Even though it's only been a few months?"

"It doesn't matter," she breathed, dreamily looking up at the stars. "When you have the burden of saving the world on your shoulders, time doesn't really matter anymore. Nothing's too soon, I guess you could say." Spike felt his hopes rising the more she spoke.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"So if we could get married, if I got down on my knee right now and asked you, you'd say yes?" Buffy laughed a little, biting her lower lip and bringing her hand up to let the ring he'd given her at her birthday sparkle in the moonlight.

"Why not? I mean, I already have the ring, so…yeah." Her smile faded a little. "It's a nice thought."

"Hmm," Spike agreed with a little nod, trying to hide the smile tugging at his lips. They managed to make it to the front of the house without Buffy noticing a thing. He unnecessarily held his breath as they made their way up to the porch. He saw flee from the window, and with his advanced hearing, he could hear feet scurrying along the wooden floors inside.

They made it up the steps and stopped at the front door, and instead of reaching for his keys, Spike put their belongings down and turned to Buffy, taking her hands in his. Wrinkling her brow, she looked up at him, and when she saw the way he was looking at her, her heart skipped a beat.

"Spike?"

"You meant what you said, then?"

"Of course I meant it, but…Spike, what's going on?" She looked down at their hands joined together. She looked back up into his blue eyes, searching them for answers.

"Buffy, I love you. You're everything to me. You and this baby. I'm not the same man I once was. Maybe I'm turning into a sappy bloke, but I don't really care. You love me, and I see it in your eyes every time you look at me. Maybe I can't give you a marriage in writing, but I want to give you the wedding you deserve." He reached for the door knob, thankful to find it unlocked. He opened the door, and awaiting them inside was a path of lit candles and shimmering, white decorations. Buffy felt a gasp rise in her throat, and the tears immediately stung her eyes. "Buffy Summers, I don't know how long we have together, but each day I'm with you…it's a blessing. I will love you all my days." He swallowed hard when he saw her lower lip quiver. "Marry me, Buffy."

She'd never felt so many emotions at once. None of them bad. None of them making her want to turn and run away. Her knees felt as if they'd turned to jelly, but even if they hadn't, the only direction she'd have wanted to run was forward.

"Spike," she whispered, brushing away a tear that fell. "You really want to marry me?" Spike chuckled and nodded his head.

"Either way, I'm gonna be here. You're kinda stuck with me, pet. The claim and all." Buffy giggled a little. "Even if it weren't the case, yeah, I'd want to marry you, and—" She was kissing him before he could finish the sentence. Her arms were tight around his shoulders, her lips were hungry against his, and he responded in kind, letting her know just how much he loved her; how much he needed her. When she finally pulled back, she nodded.

"Yeah, Spike. I'll marry you." Spike's smile widened, and he scooped her up, kissing her softly. He couldn't help but think that the man he'd been before he'd fallen in love with this amazing woman would have scoffed at him and called him a giant poof for being so mushy and sweet, but he didn't give a damn. He had the most beautiful thing in the world in his arms right now, and that was a hell of a lot better than anything his old life could have offered him.

When he finally put her down, he kissed her forehead and then looked into the house.

"She said yes!" Then, all of the wedding guests, Willow, Tara, Giles, Xander, Anya, and Dawn all came into view. Buffy's jaw dropped.

"You were all in on this?!"

"Well yeah," Dawn laughed. "Ok, so Willow was first." Buffy looked at Willow, wide-eyed, and then back at Spike.

"So _that_'s what you were really planning." Spike shrugged his shoulders and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Evil!" she laughed. But she kissed him again. Then she looked at her friends, who were all dressed up. She looked down at herself, clad in khakis and a blue top.

"Don't worry, Buff. We've got just the dress for you," Willow promised. "Come on!"

"Now?"

"No time like the present, luv," Spike breathed, leaning in to kiss her once more. She smiled up at him.

"You…you are…"

"Go on, pet. I'll be waiting for you at the end of the aisle." Buffy's heart leapt again, and she followed her friends into the door, not wanting to leave him. But when the girls were gone, Giles and Xander stepped out onto the porch. "Bloody Hell."

"You alright, Spike?"

"Never been so nervous in my entire life."

"Well you claimed her. That was a marriage of sorts. You weren't nervous then."

"No, because I was doing something I'm good at," Spike muttered. He cleared his throat. "I mean…"

"Details are of the bad, Spike," Xander reminded him. Spike nodded.

"Right."

"There's a suit waiting for you in the dining room. Should fit you."

"Thanks," Spike breathed, clearing his throat. Xander led the way into the dining room, and Giles was right behind him. Xander drew the curtains to prevent any of the ladies peeking in. Though he was pretty sure Spike didn't exactly care about modesty.

Spike dressed in silence, and both Giles and Xander shared surprised glances. This was the quietest they'd ever seen Spike. But once the vampire was dressed to the nines, looking all suave and James Bond-y in the tux, Giles cleared his throat. But Spike held a hand up.

"Look, Rupert. I know you don't approve. I've been a right bastard. I mean, I did try to kill the woman I'm about to marry." At the stern look from Giles, he realized this wasn't helping. "All I can say is that…maybe I'm still a bastard. Maybe you hate my guts, but I'm ok with that. But this is her night."

"I agree," Giles replied quietly. "I never had any children, and Buffy's…well…I've grown to think of her like a daughter, and she should be happy. She has enough problems in her life to deal with, and clearly, you make her happy. Sometimes I don't see how, but you do. And you're not a bad person, Spike. Not anymore."

"This doesn't mean we're going to be sharing heart-to-hearts and exchanging grilling tips from now on, does it?" Spike asked, making a face.

"I wouldn't go that far," Giles muttered.

"Good. So we're on the same page."

"Right," Giles chuckled. He patted Spike on the shoulder, much to the vampire's surprise. Spike glanced at the hand that was placed there and then back at the ex-librarian. "But I'd like to warn you that if you _ever_ do anything to hurt Buffy, you won't be coming to me to help fix things. That's something you'll have to do on your own."

"Right, Rupert, like I'd come to _you_ for relationship advice." Giles folded his arms across his chest sternly, and Spike nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Ok, then. Good talk, Rupert." Giles nodded and left the room. Spike went to leave too, but Xander was in his way, arms folded too.

"Oh, not you."

"Nope. Not gonna say anything. I just wanna say that…I didn't expect something like this out of you." Spike raised his eyebrows. This was definitely a new tune. "I was skeptical. But you've been doing things right, Spike. I haven't seen her this happy in a long time. As long as Buffy's happy, I'm happy. Got it?"

"Got it, Harris."

"Good. See you outside. We've got, um…let's just say…a surprise." Xander walked out of the room, and Spike took a moment to let his head stop spinning from the fact that neither Giles nor Xander had threatened to kill him if he stepped out of line. That was progress. He felt closer to them somehow, in some weird, twisted way. Unless, of course, the surprise that they planned to stake him just before Buffy said 'I do.'

Finally, he made his way out of the dining room and out onto the back porch. They'd done a pretty impressive job. The aisle was a soft, white carpet rolled out from the bottom deck step to a little flower-covered arch about twenty feet away. A few chairs were placed on one side of the aisle. I was a small set up, but it was fit for a royalty. All he had to do now was wait for his princess.

***

"I can't believe this," Buffy murmured, looking at herself in the full-length mirror. "It's perfect."

"Yeah, perfect fit," Tara smiled.

"It's lovely, Buffy. It's good you didn't wait any longer. Another week, and there's no way that dress would've fit," Anya commented, giving Buffy a once-over.

"Thanks, Anya. You look nice too." Anya smiled happily and stepped up to help Willow put the finishing touches on Buffy's up-do."

"Here," Dawn called, walking into the room. "These are for you. They're new _and_ we had them tinted blue just for you." Buffy took the roses into her hands and brought them to her nose. With a smile, she felt the tears coming forward again. "Hey! Don't do that! Your mascara!"

"Waterproof," Tara reminded her.

"Oh. Ok. Well…wow. I can't believe my sister's getting married. I know it's not…you know, a real wedding or anything, but…"

"It's real to me, Dawnie. I don't care what a piece of paper says." Buffy shrugged. "I'm marrying Spike." The words rolled off of her tongue, and she just smiled. "I can't believe I'm actually saying that."

"Pre-post-mortem Buffy never would have said that," Anya noted. "But it's about time. Even before you knew you loved him, it was so obvious that you two were going to get together."

"You think?" Buffy murmured, daydreaming.

"You guys are perfect for each other," Dawn assured her sister. "He's the reformed bad boy with a soul, and you're the Slayer. Both of you are strong, powerful people. You're the girl that made him change his evil ways. If I wrote novels about the two of you, I'd totally be the next Danielle Steele." Buffy laughed at that.

"Spike's definitely changed," Willow remarked. "I mean, besides the having a soul thing. He looks at you and for a second, it's like he's not a vampire. He's this love-struck guy. You totally have him wrapped around your finger."

"Mmm, well, not for long. When this baby gets here, it's gonna have its daddy's undivided attention." Willow and Tara exchanged a glance.

"Speaking of the baby," Willow pointed out, clearing her throat, "we have something to tell you."

"What's that?"

"Tara and I…as soon as we find an apartment…we're moving out."

"What?! No, you can't!" Buffy exclaimed, spinning around to face her friends.

"Buffy, you're gonna need the room when the baby gets here," Tara explained. "You shouldn't have to cram all the baby's stuff into your room too. It's your house. It always has been."

"But…you guys…you made it home for me, you know? The both of you and Dawn. When I came back…it felt…you know, it didn't feel so empty when I came home."

"But it'll be a different kind of home now. You and Spike and Dawn…and then the baby. And we'll come and visit every day."

"I know, but it won't be the same."

"You sound like your sister," Willow teased.

"Yeah. I told them they can't leave, but they're pretty set on it," Dawn pouted.

"You don't have to move out, guys. Really," Buffy urged. "We'll figure something out."

"Maybe, but it's better this way. You guys need time to get adjusted and everything. It'll be a little less chaotic. But we'll be a phone call away." Buffy sighed, knowing they were right. It had just been nice to have her friends so close by since she'd returned from the beyond. It was a comfort thing, knowing they were there if she needed them.

"I think you're ready," Anya noted, walking around Buffy a couple of times. "Here. You can wear this. I wore it at my wedding to Xander." She handed Buffy the white garter.

"Anya…are you sure?"

"Go on. You're the one that should've caught it. You're the only one of us getting married next." Buffy grinned and chuckled at that.

"Thanks, Anya." She quickly slipped the garment on and pulled the skirt of her dress back down. Giving herself a last check in the mirror, she headed to the door. She froze and turned back toward her friends. "Oh my God."

"Buffy?"

"I'm…I'm getting married, guys." The ladies giggled collectively, and Dawn rushed over to hug her sister.

"Yep. No turning back now, Buffy. He's waiting for you, and somebody's gotta meet him at the end of the aisle. I'm pretty sure he's dead-set on it being you." Buffy smiled and nodded.

"Right. Ok. I guess…wow, ok. It's time." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to calm the swarms of butterflies in her stomach. "Ok. Let's go."

***

Spike stood anxiously at the end of the aisle, waiting for the bride to make her grand debut at the kitchen door. Spike and Giles were gawking secretively at one another, and Spike was about to ask them what the bloody hell was going on, but when a familiar face came out of the shadows, he was even more confused.

"You remember Reverend McFarland, don't you, Spike?" Xander asked.

"He's the bloke that married you and Anya."

"Yeah," Xander said with a nod. "Turns out, he specializes in not just human weddings, but demon weddings too."

"What?" Spike asked.

"Come on, you didn't think I'd let my best friend get married only to have to get caught up in legal tape down the road, did you? That's just a headache for everyone," Xander admitted. "We all got together, scraped up some cash, and thanks to Mr. McFarland here, you're officially an undead American."

"Why would you…what?"

"Didn't do it for you, fang-boy," Xander chuckled. "Did it for Buffy. I mean, she's been through a lot. She's died for God's sakes. She deserves her perfectly legal, wedding and marriage. Even if it is to a vampire."

"Gee, thanks Harris." It wasn't really sarcastic at all. He looked down at the envelope in his hands.

"You're William Pratt, born August 20, 1974 in London, England. But, you moved here as a teenager, and you became a citizen," the pastor explained.

"Congratulations Spike," Xander said, punching Spike in the arm, "you're an undead American." Spike couldn't really believe what he was hearing. He looked up at Xander and then at Giles. Surely the younger of the Scoobies couldn't have come up with that kind of cash.

"Consider it a wedding present," Giles offered.

"For Buffy, right."

"Yes. For Buffy. If she's going to get married, she should at least do it the right way." He couldn't believe this. It all seemed a little far-fetched. Too good to be true. But when he sifted through the papers, it all looked pretty legit. Why would the Watcher go through all of this trouble for _him?_ Sure, he did it under the pretense of wanting to give Buffy something real, but why with him?

Giles realized Spike was running everything though his head, trying to piece together this scenario that was full of plot holes.

"Don't ask questions, Spike. Just do right by her or you'll have me and a very sharp stick to answer to," Giles reminded him. Spike swallowed hard and nodded his head.

"Oh…k…"

"You know," Xander offered, "he only decided to help to make sure you'd have to suffer through the painful process of paying taxes." Spike shrugged and looked toward the house.

"What's money when you've got that to look forward to every morning for the rest of your life?"

"Or hers," Xander breathed quietly, as Buffy and the girls emerged onto the deck from inside the house. She was a vision in white. She was _his_ vision in white. Her eyes met his from twenty feet away, and she smiled that bright, glittering smile that made his un-beating heart turn to mush.

The girls all headed down the aisle, and instead of standing up with the bride, sat down with Xander and Giles. Buffy looked at the pastor and then at Spike. He leaned in and whispered, "I'll explain later."

"Ok," she murmured, too happy to care. Flying demons could be flying over head right now, and she couldn't have had a care in the world.

The ceremony went by quickly, and Spike never took his eyes off of Buffy. She looked amazing, and as corny as it sounded, she was glowing. Her green eyes sparkled in the candle light, and her the moonlight bounced off of her pearly white dress, creating a white, fuzzy glow around her as she stood up in front of her friends with Spike.

Two gold bands were exchanged. Hers, a more delicate band, fit perfectly with her diamond ring. His, she had to push a little to get it past his knuckle. But once it was on, it was a perfect fit.

By the time the pastor pronounced them man and wife, he was so ready to kiss her that he didn't want for the cue. He scooped her up and brought his lips crashing down upon hers. She gasped and melted into the kiss, while Dawn clapped excitedly and stood up, cheering. Whether the rest of them joined in or not, Buffy and Spike didn't notice, as they were still wrapped up in each other.

"Hey, Spike? Buffy needs to breathe sometime," Willow teased. Spike pulled back and smiled at her, shaking his head in amazement of what the past five months had done to them. Hell, in the past year, he'd gone from the pain in Buffy's ass to the one thing she seemed to constantly crave. He wasn't going to complain one little bit about that, either. He just hoped that he could make her happy and not screw it up. Despite the fact that she loved him like crazy, he could still make some pretty stupid decisions that could piss her right off. That was the last thing he wanted. Right now, he just wanted to keep that smile on her face.

***

"So you're telling me…"

"You're legally married," Pastor McFarland announced. "As soon as the ink dries on your marriage certificate, that is."

"I don't understand," Buffy mumbled.

"Seems your Watcher and the rest of the gang decided that you deserved a real husband, because of all the…tape or something," Spike said with a shrug.

"Oh my God," Buffy breathed, turning to look at her friends, who now stood on the deck, talking quietly amongst themselves. "You guys…you did this?"

"Hey, you're just lucky we knew a guy. He gave us a good deal."

"Us?" Giles asked. "I don't seem to recall you shelling out much in the way of money."

"Well, I helped come up with the idea, didn't I?"

"Whoa," Buffy yelped, holding her hand up. "You're seriously telling me that I'm _actually _married? And not just in an 'I promise to be yours for the rest of my life' kind of way? In a legally binding, 'til death or divorce parts us' kind of way?"

"That's what we're saying," Tara said with a smile.

"That's what you wanted, right?" Willow wondered.

"Well, I mean, not…I wasn't planning on that. I didn't think I could have it _that _way. You guys…you really didn't have to do this."

"Yes we did, Buffy," Giles spoke up. "The Council has no problem killing demons and the like, but Spike is a citizen now, and for the Council, while not entirely problematic in executing the plan, it would cause grievous amounts of paperwork and corners to cut." Buffy shook her head and turned to Spike.

"Did you know?"

"Not until just a few minutes before, pet," he assured her.

"Oh my God," she murmured. "We're…we're _married_ Spike."

"That was kinda the point, luv," he chuckled, holding her close.

"I know. But I mean…we're _really_ married. You're…you're a person."

"Undead American," Xander piped up. Buffy glared. He shrugged. "Well, if you wanna be P.C., he kinda is."

"Wow. Ok. So…we're married," Buffy gasped, looking up at Spike with wide, frightened eyes. But she smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "Right, Mr. Pratt?"

"I think so, Mrs. Pratt," he chuckled.

"Hey, picture time!" Dawn called.

"Think this might be a bit awkward. He won't show up, will he?" Xander wondered.

"Actually," Willow thought quietly, "you know, we've never really tried the whole picture taking thing with vampires before, have we?"

"No," Buffy said slowly. Suddenly, her eyes lit up, and she let out a little gasp. "But there were pictures of Dru!" Buffy's eyes widened and she looked up at Spike. "Come on."

"Luv?"

"Just wanna try something," she urged, smiling sweetly at him. He couldn't say no to that gorgeous face.

Spike pulled his arm around his new bride, and everyone gathered around for the wedding photo. The pastor took the picture and handed the camera back to the bride. Buffy pushed a couple of buttons before the picture flashed before her eyes on the back screen. She grinned and looked at Spike who stared in awe of seeing himself next to her for the very first time.

"Well, look at that," he said quietly.

"You look so handsome," she giggled.

"I do, don't I?" he laughed. "But you look brilliant, pet." He kissed her softly. "This one's for the grandkids, eh?"

"Come on, guys. Let's leave the _Pratt's_ alone," Willow grinned, ushering everybody into the house. Buffy shook her head and wrapped her arms around Spike's neck.

"This has been the craziest, most amazing day of my life," she whispered against his lips.

"Funny," he agreed with a little nod. "Mine too."

"Tell me it's not a dream, because that would just suck." Spike shook his head.

"No, pet. I think this is as real as it gets." He kissed her softly and pulled her into him, so her head was resting on his chest. He closed his eyes, taking in the scent of her flowery perfume, relishing the feel of her body pressed against his. He'd never thought he would be here in this moment with her, but here he was. And all the while, he couldn't stop the funny nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him that any minute, he was going to wake and it would all have been a dream.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think! Not sure if the next update will come tomorrow or not. My health issues are flaring back up, so I might get more written later if I'm feeling better. Anyway, cheer me up with some feedback! Or tell me how much you hate the story or how ridiculous you thought this chapter was. LOL...whatever you have to say, say it, 'cause I'd love to have something to read when I check my e-mail next time! ;)_


	57. The Pratts

_Author's Note: Hi all! I decided to go ahead and post this chapter since I finished it last night. I might be going to the hospital today if this pain gets any worse, so I didn't want to leave you all without the post-wedding chapter. Anyhoo, here it is, and please leave me some feedback! I would appreciate it!_

Chapter 57: The Pratts

Buffy slowly opened one eye in the morning, and then the other followed shortly thereafter. She squinted a little and looked to her side to see Spike sprawled out next to her, head buried under the pillow, hand clasping hers. And there was the gold ring. She sighed heavily and smiled to herself. She was married. Really and truly married. She was a Pratt. Elizabeth Anne Pratt. Summers-Pratt? She arched her back and pulled herself into a sitting position. She then became fully aware of the urgent need to pee, so she hopped out of bed and rushed into the bathroom.

Spike woke at the sound and feel of the bed shifting beside him. He threw the pillow off of his head and sat up. When he saw that he was alone, he immediately became concerned, but then the feeling of something new on his hand brought him out of it. He looked down at the gold band. His wedding ring. Bloody hell! It wasn't a dream!

He heard the toilet flush, the water in the sink running, and after about two more minutes, the bathroom door opened. Buffy shuffled back into their room and she ran her fingers through her hair, smiling.

"Good morning, husband."

"Morning, wife," he grinned.

"Be honest. My eyes just adjusted to the light. How bad is it?"

"What?"

"My hair?"

"Oh, you mean the wildebeest on top of your pretty head?" Buffy's eyes widened. "Kidding, pet. You look gorgeous. Ravaged, but gorgeous, the way a blushing bride should." She grinned, leaning down to kiss him. He tasted the minty flavor of her lips and smiled. Buffy giggled when she pulled back and ran her fingers through Spike's messy hair. The curls were sticking up in every which direction, and for a moment, she could imagine him in the '80s looking a hell of a lot like David Bowie. "What?"

"Your hair. It's…well, it probably looks better than mine." She moved over to their mirror, eyes now adjusted and ready to examine the mess she was going to have to untangle. She smiled when she saw that it wasn't too horrible, but she looked back at him, shaking her head and biting her lip. "You look so adorable in the morning."

"Adorable?" he groaned. She nodded and hurried over to the dresser to grab the camera. She quickly flashed a picture of her new husband, thrilled with the revelation that they could have these memories together. Maybe he didn't have a reflection, but he was still there. He existed. He was a body made up of particles. Very good looking particles. How had she not thought of this picture-taking thing before? "You're gonna have fun with this, aren't you, pet?"

"Oh yeah," she teased, snapping a couple more pictures. "And just think…I can get a picture of you and our baby when she's born. It'll be so perfect."

"Until she's old enough to get freaked out when she looks in the mirror and sees herself floating where her daddy's arms are supposed to be." Buffy rolled her eyes and hopped into bed, showing Spike the pictures. For the first time in over a decade, William the Bloody saw what he looked like first thing in the morning.

"Oh, bloody Hell. How did I ever get you into bed?" Buffy giggled and leaned in to kiss him.

"Because you're sexy. Because you're the most perfect man for me. I was just too stubborn to see it."

"Least you admit it," he shrugged, taking the camera and snapping a picture of her with her own morning hair.

"Hey! No fair," she squeaked, grabbing for the camera and placing it on the bedside table closest to her.

"Oh, we are _definitely _going to have some fun with that later," he joked. "'Course those'll be for our private collection." Buffy blushed a little but grinned at the fact that they could have a private collection. In all of her years having intimate knowledge of vampires, how had it never crossed her mind that while she wasn't going to have a normal family with Spike, she could have a family album with him in it. Oh, this was just too perfect, and it made her heart swell with happiness.

Buffy's tummy growled, and they both looked down at it. Buffy laughed, and Spike grinned, kissing her forehead.

"Hungry, pet?"

"Yeah, but I don't really wanna get out of bed this morning."

"We gotta make an appearance. Make sure Dawn gets off to school alright. Make sure they know we didn't exhaust each other last night."

"Well, I think we might have."

"But they don't have to know that."

"I think the entire neighborhood heard. I'm not sure I can show my face this morning," Buffy laughed.

"They'll understand. Besides, we're newlyweds. We have an excuse."

"C'mon, pet," he urged, ushering her out of bed. He pulled on a pair of black pajama pants and a white wife beater that clung to his nicely-chiseled chest. Buffy bit her lip and eyed him up and down from his messy blonde hair to his bare feet. She couldn't resist, and she closed the space between them, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him softly. He smiled against her lips, pulled her as close as he could with her belly between them, and then he let her go so she could slip into a pair of baby blue sleep shorts and a matching spaghetti-strapped shirt.

The two walked hand-in-hand into the kitchen, where Tara was scraping a large pancake off onto Dawn's plate.

"Morning, Mr. and Mrs. Pratt," Dawn grinned, turning to her sister.

"Morning," Buffy smiled.

"Hungry?" Tara wondered.

"You're asking the pregnant woman?" Willow laughed.

"Hey!" Buffy glared at her friend but her faux angry-face turned into a sheepish smile. "Yeah, I could go for a pancake or twelve."

***

Faith's eyes fluttered open, and the pain in her head broke through the haze of semi-consciousness. She was somewhere dark, and she was sitting on a cold floor. She didn't feel chains around her ankles or her wrists, but she knew that wherever she wasn't going to make for an easy escape.

"Faith? You're awake?" Faith heard the sound of the soft voice, but she couldn't recall who it belonged to. Her memories were a little hazy. How had she gotten here? Why did it feel like she'd had her skull cracked open? Then it came flooding back to her. The frantic knock at her door. The harsh blow to the back of her head. _This is my redemption_. The words echoed through her head.

_Great. Just fucking great_. _What the hell was I thinking? _She'd always lived for herself and nobody else, so why had she all of a sudden started looking out for someone other than herself? Look at what it had done to her.

"Dana?"

"Faith." The younger woman crouched in front of her, and Faith's jumbled thoughts began to spin inside of her dizzy head. Travers wanted Dana to kill her. What the hell kind of good would that do? It would just bring another Slayer forth, one he'd have to hunt and manipulate. It was all some kind of sick game.

"What'd you do to me? You…" Dana flinched and backed away a little. "Dana, you've been drugged."

"No," Dana said with a semi-lucid smile. "I've been saved from my past. It feels amazing, Faith. To not think about the things I did wrong in my past. I can't remember them. It took me a while to remember you. I remember we were going to run away."

"What day is it?"

"You've been unconscious for over twenty-four hours." Faith groaned in pain. "Shh, hold still. What do you remember?"

"What do I remember? I remember everything. I remember that son of a bitch drugging you. He killed Dr. Owens and…" Dana flinched and fell back again.

"It's wearing off."

"What are you talking about?"

"The drug." She scrambled for a little bag, pulling out a syringe. "I gave it to you. Just like he asked." She shook her head, and Faith squinted.

"You put that shit inside of me?" Faith struggled to stand, but she was so dizzy that her knees buckled, and she fell to the floor.

"I must not have given you enough."

"No. He gave you too fucking much. That's what happened!" Dana shook her head.

"Faith, it's better this way." She reached for a vile and began to pull the clear liquid up into the syringe. "It's better not to remember. I don't know what I did, but…"

"I'll tell you what you did. Somebody drugged you, played with your head. Just like Travers!" Faith groaned, pulling herself up, holding onto a light fixture on the wall. "You killed them. And you killed security guards." Dana shook her head.

"You're lying to me."

"I'm the only person around here telling you the god damned truth, Dana!" Faith pleaded, as the other Slayer came at her with the needle.

"No. He said you'd lie. He said…"

"Put it down, Dana. Please. You don't want to hurt me."

"No, I don't. And I won't. But it's better this way. Not to remember…"

"Not to remember the reason you are who you are? I don't fucking think so. No, Dana. Don't even try it." Dana wasn't stopping. Faith took several deep gulps of air. "You remember why we were leaving? We knew they were trying to screw with us."

"We were wrong, Faith. Mr. Travers just wants to help us."

"Like hell he does. He wants good little Slayers that'll mind him. He wants to be in control. Don't you get that?"

"Mr. Travers is a smart man, Faith. He's not evil."

"He's insane," Faith seethed, feeling her strength slowly returning. "He's playing God, and he doesn't know what the Hell he's doing!" Dana grabbed her arm, but she pulled away, slinking back against the wall. "Dana, you were so scared." Dana shook her head in confusion, trying to maintain her resolve.

"No. Stop trying to mess with my head."

"And what the hell are you trying to do to me now, huh? Back off, Dana. I don't wanna hurt you. This isn't your fault."

"The pain makes us weak, Faith. It makes us vulnerable."

"No," Faith groaned, grabbing her head as the pain pounded there. She felt Dana grab at her again, and she pushed, this time sending Dana stumbling back. "I'm sorry he did this to you, but I'm not letting him get me too."

"I thought we were friends." Faith shook her head.

"Guess I'm not supposed to have friends after all," she muttered. Taking a deep breath, she pushed past Dana, running blindly for the exit. Dana's screams echoed through her head, but she kept running, arms out in front of her, feeling her way out until the hazy light of the dusking sun captured her. "Where the Hell am I?"

She didn't stop to look around. She kept running, hearing Dana's pleas for her to come back fade into the distance as she pulled herself out into a bustling crowd, never to look back.

***

"Oh my God!" Buffy squealed, as Spike chased her down the hallway and into their room. The moment the last person had left this morning, he'd come at her like a starving man in search of his next meal.

She had no place left to run. He stopped in the doorway, eyes wild with desire, fingers gripping the doorframe to restrain himself. Buffy looked around, trying to find an escape. But her knees buckled as soon as her legs hit the bed, and she fell backward into the middle of the mattress. Before she could even attempt to stand up, he was crawling over her, pinning her arms above her head.

"Spike," she whispered, nibbling on her bottom lip. He grinned as his mouth sought her neck, and she moaned softly, bringing one leg around his hip, rubbing the back of his leg with her heel. He groaned, as this action pulled him tight against her, and he began to grind into her heat. She arched her back, rubbing herself against him, feeling the bulge in his pants growing with each little maneuver she made.

"Christ," he hissed into her ear, moving his kisses to her mouth, dipping his tongue between her soft, pink lips to taste her.

She giggled as he began to kiss his way down her body, but the laughter gave way to sharp gasps as he sought her nipple through the fabric of her shirt, biting down just hard enough to get a reaction. She felt the dampness pooling between her legs, and she opened herself up to him. But he moved away from her before she got the chance to urge him on.

"Where ya going?" she wondered.

"Nowhere, luv," he assured her, slipping out of his shirt and his pants so that he stood there, naked as the day he was born. She smiled, her gaze dragging from his oh-so-blue eyes to his engorged cock. Despite the fact that she'd seen it so many times before, she found herself blushing, thinking of all of the wonderful little talents he had when it came to that magnificent organ.

It was when she dragged her gaze back up to meet his that she caught the devilish gleam in his eyes. He reached over to the nightstand and picked up the camera. Her eyes widened at the prospect, and she bit her lower lip.

"What are you doing?"

"Pose for me, luv."

"Spike…"

"Nobody'll see, luv. Promise. Our private collection, remember?" Biting her lip, she looked down at her pregnant belly and then back up at him. "Right then. Let's ease into it, shall we?" Buffy cocked her head to the side, and he took her hand, pulling her off the bed.

"What…"

"C'mere. This'll go in the baby book." He turned her to the side next to the wall, and she smiled a little. She lifted up her shirt to expose her belly, and she placed her hands to her side. Spike took a couple of shots, and he lowered the camera, eyes sparkling with intensity once more. She turned toward him.

"What?"

"Lose the shirt."

"Spike!"

"C'mon, no time to get bashful on me now, kitten." As much as she was comfortable being naked in front of him, she wasn't sure how she felt about seeing herself having sex with Spike. Sure, he was hot, and she knew she normally had a nice body, but at this point, no matter how often he assured her he wanted her, she couldn't help but wonder if she really looked as fantastic as he said, what with her pregnant belly sticking out and everything. As if reading her mind, his lips curled up into a smile. "You're breathtaking, pet. Now take off your clothes."

"Oh, so now that we're married the romance goes out the window?" she challenged, eyebrow cocked, hands on her hips. Spike smirked and put the camera down on the bed, stalking over to his wife in two strides. She smiled a little as he backed her against the wall, bringing one hand up to cup her face as the other rested on her hip. He tilted her head and leaned down to press his lips to hers. He only kissed her for a fraction of a moment before he pulled back, his ice blue eyes sparkling with a familiar need, drawing out the same needs in her. She pressed her thighs together tightly, but her scent filled his nostrils, and he flared them a bit.

"Come here, Slayer," he growled, pulling his arms around her and kissing her breathlessly. She moaned when he pulled her up, wrapping her legs around his waist so he could grind into her through the material of her sleep shorts. He slipped a finger in through one of the leg holes, tentatively probing her slick entrance before plunging inside of her, making her cry out and clench against his finger.

"Oh fuck," she groaned, clenching her eyes shut as he slipped two more fingers inside. She braced herself against the wall with one arm, and with her free arm, she helped him free her of her shirt. The moment it was off, Spike's mouth enclosed over one rosy, pink nipple, and Buffy gasped loudly, clenching her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer.

It was then that she felt a twinge in her back, and she groaned in discomfort. He pulled back for a moment, concerned, and she shook her head.

"Back hurts," she panted. "Bed?" Spike hoisted her up, carrying her over to the bed and depositing her in the middle of it. He made haste pulling off her sleep shorts, and his mouth watered at the site of her before him. He placed his hands on her knees and spread her legs. Her scent invaded him, and he had to hold back the demon, a caged animal living inside of him.

She looked up at him, reaching for him, but he reached over and picked up the camera again.

"Spike…"

"Do you trust me?" he murmured. Chewing on her lower lip, she nodded. "You're worried that you're not attractive anymore. You think you're not sexy." She said nothing. Her blushing cheeks told the truth. "I'm gonna show you how beautiful you really are, pet."

"Spike, please," she murmured, her hands roaming down her breasts, over the swell of her belly and to her heated center. Spike stood back a little, snapping a photo of the moment.

"So fucking beautiful," he breathed, using one hand to take the photos while the other moved down to his throbbing cock, giving it a few firm strokes. Chuckling to himself, he put the camera on video mode, zoomed in, and strategically placed it on her bureau across from the bed.

He returned to her, crawling between her legs, letting her hips cradle his as he pushed inside of her, watching her eyelids flutter, her mouth open and close, gulping in waves of air to steady her racing heart.

"Spike," she groaned, kissing his shoulder and then biting down as he completely filled her and waited for her to relax. She clenched around him tightly, and he thought he might come at that moment, but he steadied himself and began to pump in and out of her, taking long, slow strokes out and then plunging back in. A squeaky gasp escaped her lips, and he smiled, pressing his lips to her collarbone.

"Tell me you want me," he breathed, hands on either side of her head, pushing down into the mattress.

"I want you, Spike," she whimpered.

"Tell me you love me."

"I love you. I love you. God, I love you." She arched into him, and he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"I love you. So fucking amazing, Buffy." He groaned and nipped her shoulder with blunt teeth. She cried out, her body shaking under his, and he showed no signs of slowing down.

Much to the Slayer's surprise, she felt Spike grab her hips and flip her over so she was riding him. He held onto her to keep her steady, and she looked down at him. One hand moved down her chest, his fingers caressing her nipples before moving further south to dance along the stretched skin of her belly. He then reached between them, where they were joined, and he brought his hand back so she could see his fingers glistening.

She looked down, only to see her belly in the way, and she closed her eyes.

"Hey, hey," he urged, sliding his hands up and down her thighs. "Open your eyes. You're beautiful, baby." She smiled down at him, gaining a little more confidence. Sometimes she felt incredibly sexy being pregnant, but other times, she felt tired and ugly and fat. But all it took was a little encouragement from him to get her going all over again.

She dipped down to kiss him, all the while riding him like a prized stallion. He was groaning and writhing beneath her, and she felt her body reacting to that power. She bit her lip and looked skyward as his fingers dug into her thighs, and she cried out as he thrust upward into her, as she bucked against him. Her hand moved between her legs, and her fingers circled her clit, bringing her closer when she saw that oh-so-familiar pre-orgasm flush creeping up Spike's neck. She saw him straining now, and his eyes rolled up. She clenched around him, rising and falling on his cock until she felt him tremble and begin to fill her.

He flipped her over onto her back again, thrusting deep inside of her as he finished. And when it was over, he buried his head against her shoulder and kissed the salty skin there. She smiled, both hands free to roam up his back and into his hair. She sighed happily, and he rolled off of her, lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes, as if he'd just touched a girl for the first time.

She giggled and curled up against him, pulling his arm around her like a cool blanket. Spike smoothed back her hair and placed kisses upon her forehead. She smiled at him, nuzzled her nose against his cheek.

They lived for these moments. These moments where everything in the world stopped, and they just existed together in their own little space, where they could do or say anything and the rest of the world would be oblivious. It was peaceful. Both of them knew that peace was a rare thing in the life of a Slayer, and it wasn't going to last forever. But for now, they could count their blessings and be happy with what they had. Because thinking about the future and the question marks that dotted that path only led to seriousness and concern.

His hand moved to grace her belly, and she smiled against his lips. The only future worth thinking about was the one they knew was certain. They were going to be parents, and compared to that, everything else fell into a not-so-important category.

* * *

_Let me know what you thought of the chapter! Shall I go on? :)_


	58. It's Been a Long Time

Chapter 58: It's Been a Long Time

"Everything looks great, _Mrs. Pratt_," Dr. Jones said with a warm smile. "Congratulations on the wedding, by the way."

"Thanks," Buffy grinned, glancing over at Spike, who was mesmerized and obviously a little freaked out by the dilation chart on the wall. He formed a model of the ten centimeter image with his hands, turned toward Buffy with wide eyes, and looked back at his hands. He suddenly felt very sorry for the fact that she was going to have to go through something like that.

"I'd like to set up an appointment for another ultrasound next month."

"Will we be able to find out what the baby is?" Buffy wondered, wiping the clear jelly off of her stomach with a paper towel. She lowered her shirt.

"Well, I prefer waiting until about twenty weeks to be safe, but we can try and determine the sex at sixteen weeks if you'd like." Buffy smiled, nodding her head.

"He thinks it's a girl, and he's got me calling it a girl. I just wanna know, so that our baby doesn't come out, you know, hating us for calling it a her all this time if it's a boy."

"I wouldn't worry, Buffy," Dr. Jones laughed. "Just be happy that you have a healthy baby, and focus on that. Your pregnancy is progressing very well. And you're taking the prenatal vitamins."

"Yep. Chock full of healthy."

"When she's not filling her belly with donuts and chocolate," Spike pointed out. Buffy scoffed, dropping her jaw.

"Please!" she laughed. "You practically shoved the donuts down my throat." She turned to Dr. Jones. "He thinks I'm supposed to gain seven hundred pounds just because I'm pregnant."

"Well, I definitely wouldn't recommend that," the doctor grinned, "but cut him a little slack. I'm guessing this is his first baby too?"

"Oh yeah," Buffy chuckled.

"Neither one of us really know what the hell we're doing, Doc," Spike murmured, making his way over toward the exam table. "We're reading the baby books, but…" Dr. Jones' eyes widened in surprise. "What?" She turned to Buffy.

"You actually got him to read the books?"

"Yeah," Buffy laughed. "This morning, he told me that the baby was about the size of a shrimp. I just know I'm going to dream about shrimp cocktails, and it's going to completely scar me for life."

"What. Says it in the baby book," Spike shrugged.

"Yes, well, the baby is about that size, but don't worry. It's far from being a shrimp." Buffy smiled at that.

"Thanks, Dr. Jones."

"Alright, if you don't have any questions, you can meet the receptionist at the desk, and she'll schedule your appointment for next month." Buffy nodded and got up off the table. "Don't forget these." The doctor handed her the newest scans of Bitty Buffy. She didn't look so much like a peanut anymore. There was a definite profile, and it looked like she had her daddy's nose already.

"Thanks," Buffy murmured, flashing the doctor a smile before heading out the door.

***

"Thought we were going to patrol?" Spike pointed out, as Buffy dragged him into one of the only little clothing shops in town that closed late at night.

"Shop first, slay later," she pointed out. "I might be Chosen, but I'm also pregnant and in desperate need of new clothes."

"What can I do for you?" a young shop girl asked, walking up to the couple. Buffy pulled back her coat to reveal her growing belly that was straining against the fabric of her shirt. "Oh, I see."

"Yeah. Tell me about it." She handed her purse to Spike and led him over to a chair. "You sit here, and I'll model for you."

"More pictures for our private collection, luv?" Buffy shot him a glare as the shop girl stifled a laugh.

"Not _that _kind of modeling, you big perv." Spike sighed and slumped down in the chair, while Buffy went around picking out clothes that she would actually be caught dead in.

Smiling as she browsed, Buffy thought about how in about another month, she might know whether she'd be shopping pink or shopping blue. The thought of having a daughter all dressed in pink dresses with pigtails made her heart go pitter patter, but the thought of a little boy with his daddy's smile and bright blue eyes was just as awe-inspiring.

Spike watched her rub her belly as she looked for a few nice outfits. He was speechless. The thought of the Slayer carrying his child, smiling at the thought of sharing this with him…well, it was still pretty hard to comprehend. But he wasn't going to question in. No, sir. Everything was just perfect, and he couldn't ask for more. He refused to ask for less. He'd had a taste of what was to come, and he wanted all of it.

Buffy finally made her way into the fitting room, and the sales girl flounced over to Spike, practically shoving her firm, round ass in his face as she bent over to pick something up off of the floor and return it to its proper place on the shelf.

"So, this is your first baby, I take it?" she asked.

"Why's everybody say that?" he muttered.

"Oh, I know a first timer when I see one," she giggled. Spike couldn't see, but Buffy was rolling her eyes behind the fitting room door. "'Course, I don't have any kids myself. Haven't found the right man yet." She turned around, batting her eyes at him. She might as well have squeezed her boobs together and rubbed them in his face.

"Yeah," Spike muttered, groaning internally at the woman's blatant disregard for the pregnant woman behind the fitting room door. "Well, keep looking. I'm sure he's out there somewhere." The woman frowned a little but went back to her work, eyeing Spike the whole time. "How's it coming, luv?"

"You'll have to wait and see," she called. Spike frowned, stood up, and poked his head over the door, catching an eyeful as Buffy tucked her fuller breasts inside a low-cut but flattering maternity shirt. He whistled slowly and appreciatively, and she gasped looking up. Putting her hand over his face, she pushed him back, and he stumbled away from the door laughing.

"That's what I call a hot mama."

"Oh, clever. Think of that all on your own, did ya?" Spike was just about to say something, when out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of blonde hair rush by the shop window. He quickly looked in that direction to see another form rush by.

"Bloody hell," he muttered.

"What?"

"I just saw…" The shop girl came waltzing back over, and Spike cleared his throat.

"Something I have to do. You know, for _work_."

"Work? What…oh! Need my help?"

"S'alright, pet. Think I can take care of it. I'll meet you here as soon as I'm finished."

"Be careful."

"Always, pet." He tossed Buffy's purse over the fitting room door and made a dash for the door. The shop girl, looking utterly bewildered, stared after him for a few moments before returning to her job.

***

Spike stalked silently through the cemetery, keeping an eye out for his prey. He'd followed the figure all the way to the gates of Restfield cemetery, but now there was no sign of the demon or its potential victim.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty," Spike murmured under his breath, sweeping his gaze around the darkened corner of the cemetery. He'd been walking about for a good half hour now, and all was still. He knew he should get back to Buffy, but the nagging feeling in his gut told him that danger was still afoot.

It was then that he heard the familiar grunts and guttural groans of battle, and he headed in the direction of the fight. It was then that the blonde wisp of hair he'd glanced early came into view. A young, blonde girl, probably about seventeen, came scrambling out of the bushes. She nearly bowled Spike over, and he caught her.

"She's gonna kill me," she cried. "Help!"

"Where are you, you little bitch?" Spike was surprised to hear the female voice as the figure emerged from the bushes. Tall, dark, and very fucking deadly. A stake in one hand, crossbow in the other, she looked ready to murder anything that moved.

"You gonna get out of my way?" she asked, cocking her hip out just a little. Spike stared at her, eyes boring into hers, wondering who the hell this woman thought she was. "I'm kinda in the middle of killing her." Spike turned to see the blonde girl, this time, ready to play. Her face had changed, and her eyes had yellowed. Fangs bared, she leapt past Spike and at the other woman, straining to take a nasty bite out of her pretty little neck.

"Oi!" Spike growled, vamping out as he lunged at the blonde vamp. He pulled her off and spun her around. He reached for the stake in his pocket but realized it was missing. _Bloody fucking perfect_. "Stake!" He glared at the dark-haired woman, who stared back in astonishment.

"No fucking way, man!" Spike tossed the blonde vampire off of him, and she landed hard against the side of a crypt. Aiming her crossbow, the other woman directed the arrow at the vampire's heart, and within seconds, nothing was left but a coating of dust on the ground and the two victors of the attack. However, when the woman turned toward him, he knew he was about to become her next target.

"Whoa, ok, I'm on your si…" He didn't get another syllable in before the sole of her boot connected with his face. "Sodding hell!" He growled, unable to hold back his demon. He jumped up, lunging at the woman in order to disarm her. No way was he letting this little bitch take him out.

She fell to her back, pulled her knees up, lunging the peroxide vampire over her head, smiling when she heard him land against a tombstone with a satisfying thud.

"What the bloody hell is your problem, woman?" he growled, pulling himself up off the ground. "I tried to tell you I'm not your enemy!"

"Try saying that with a straight and less bumpy face," she suggested, coming at him again with a roundhouse kick. He caught her ankle just before her boot could connect with his head again, and he twisted, sending her crashing to the ground. Groaning, she swiveled her hips and her legs in order to kick his legs out from under him, and he fell next to her, hitting the back of his head on an above-ground tree root.

Before he even had the chance to sputter in pain, she was crawling over him like a panther—a panther in tight, black leather pants straight out of the 90s—and her fist connected with his nose. He attempted to hit back, but he hesitated for only a brief moment when she saw that she was already pretty banged up. That half a second was all she needed to grab her stake and rip through the air toward his heart. However, before the weapon connected with his chest, a stylish yet affordable boot blocked the attack and sent the stake careening into a tree.

Spike's attacker looked up in time to see the toe of the boot coming at her face. She lunged back, and the boot caught her in the chest, sending her flying backward and onto the ground.

Spike looked up to see the love of his life standing over him. She smiled at him and reached out. He took her hand and stood, brushing himself off.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. My hero," he grinned.

"Hold this." Buffy handed him her purse, and he glanced over to see several shopping bags piled on the ground. His kind of woman. Deadly and a fast shopper. He brought his hand to his nose and made sure it wasn't broken before turning his attention back to his wife.

Buffy stood over the woman who'd been attacking her husband. The woman was laying face first on the ground, and when Buffy tugged at her shoulder and turned her over, her eyes widened with surprise.

"Faith?" Faith squinted up at the woman hovering over her. After the initial appearance of shock had worn off of her face, she smirked up at her old friend-turned-foe.

"Hey, B." Immediately backing away from the other Slayer, Buffy eyed her warily. Faith stood up, rubbing the spot on her chest where Buffy had kicked her. "That's gonna leave a mark. You hit a lot harder than you used to."

"Yeah, well," Buffy muttered. "I happen to hit a lot harder when the good guys are getting beat on. He's with me." Faith quirked an eyebrow and looked at Spike.

"You're protecting vampires now?" She couldn't help herself. "Are you the bad Slayer now?" She had to push it a little bit more. "Am I the good Slayer now?" Buffy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"I don't know what you are, Faith. And I don't know what you're doing here, but I don't have time for this. What are you doing in Sunnydale…and not in prison?"

"Didn't ya hear? I'm free."

"Since when?" A smile spread over Faith's face, and she shook her head.

"It's been a long time, B."

* * *

_Ok, so I realize I said I didn't think I'd get another chapter up yet, but I didn't end up going to the hospital, and I don't THINK I'm going to have to. Still, it's been a really crummy day, and I could use a little feedback to cheer me up. So please, if you're still reading, leave me a little note...even an anonymous one. :) I'd appreciate it! Thanks!_


	59. Long Story Short

_Hey guys! Thanks for all of your kind comments regarding my health and this story. I'm going to go ahead and go to the hospital and get this checked out. But I finished this chapter last night and wanted to post it before I go in. I'll update you all on what happens!_

Chapter 59: Long Story Short

"So the Council brought you over to be evaluated? You're not supposed to be in prison anymore?" Buffy asked slowly as the three headed out of the cemetery and toward Giles' apartment. Buffy had called him and told him to get everybody over there for an emergency meeting.

"Yeah. You can call the prison if you want, B."

"Giles is already on it."

"Figures," Faith grumbled. She looked at Spike, narrowing her eyes.

"What?"

"Spike, right?" She chuckled. "I remember you."

"We've met before?"

"Well, yeah, but I was kinda wearing Buffy's body at the time." Buffy shot a glare at Faith who just shrugged. "Sorry, B. I had to have some fun, didn't I? You know me."

"Yeah. I used to think I did anyway."

"Oh right," Spike finally said aloud. "What was it? You said you could…ride me at a gallop…make me pop like warm champagne?"

"You remember me. I'm touched." This time, Buffy's glare was shot in Spike's direction. He held his hands up.

"What? She said it."

"Whatever," Buffy muttered, adjusting her shopping bags in her hands. Spike was already carrying several of them, but he held out his hand, reaching for me. "I can handle some shopping bags, Spike. They're full of clothes, not lead bricks."

"Just offering to help, pet." Faith snorted.

"Yeah, well, I'm not completely helpless. I can carry my own bags." She hated snapping at him, but apparently, the mood swings were kicking in again, and she just couldn't control the flow of word vomit.

"Like I said, just offering. Don't have to get shirty about it."

"Shirty? Is that even a word?" Buffy asked, turning to face the vampire. Faith snorted.

Both turned to her, and in unison asked "what?"

"You two sound like an old married couple." They looked at each other and then back at Faith without a word, and her jaw dropped. "No way. Oh no fucking way. This is too good. Buffy the Chosen One marries the enemy! This'll be a good one for the books one day, for sure."

"He's _not _the enemy."

"Oh really?"

"He has a soul, and that's beside the point. He's been helping us for years."

"That right? Well, good for you. You actually tamed one. Wait, or is this the second one you've tamed? Hmm, I guess Angel was already kinda pre-tamed when you came along."

"Shut up, Faith," Buffy warned.

"Just catching up, B."

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"I told you. I'm free."

"No, you said the Council freed you, and you went through some sort of evaluation. You didn't say why you're suddenly here looking like somebody hit you in the face with a semi truck."

"I don't look that bad, do I?"

"No, but it's nice to dream."

"Ouch," Faith laughed, glancing over at Spike. "Looks like marrying you put the a little bit of the bitch in Buffy."

"Not exactly how I'd put it," Spike muttered, receiving an elbow in the arm in response. Faith eyed the two suspiciously but decided not to ask questions.

"So when are you gonna talk about it, Faith? My patience is pretty thin these days."

"Hold your horses, B. Wanna get the whole gang together, just like old times. That way I don't have to repeat myself ten times."

"Great," Buffy breathed, picking up the pace. "Then let's hurry."

***

Everyone sat silently still at Giles' after having listened to Faith explain the sordid story. Buffy stood next to Spike, coat pulled around herself, not quite ready to reveal her pregnancy to her fellow Slayer quite yet. As the prophecy had said, the danger was coming from within. That possibility could very well now be placed on Faith, though according to her story, it might be Dana or Travers.

"So let me get this straight," Xander said slowly. "Quentin Travers called you, said he had this opportunity for you to be a Slayer all over again without having to do anymore time. You get there, meet Dana, become best buds…"

"Ah, I wouldn't go that far, but she was cool. Kinda naïve, but not a bad kid."

"And there's this drug Travers has been trying to get her to try out. Some experimental thing."

"Right. And they got to her first. I heard him telling her that I was her mission. I thought he meant she was supposed to take me out, but she shows up, and I stupidly answered the door, thinking maybe she had a little fire in her and played Travers like a fiddle. But, no. I open the door, she beats the hell out of me, drugs me up real nice, and about a day later, I wake up all fuzzy, but the drug's wearing off."

"But it didn't wear off of her?"

"I think he gave her a lot more than one dose. I'm not sure if she can be, you know, fixed." Faith shrugged her shoulders. "Anyway, I got free and I ran."

"And a week later, bam, here you are?"

"Pretty much. I was gonna call, but I figured I'd drop in for a surprise. It's more fun that way. Besides, if anybody can help me take down a Slayer, it's Slayer numero uno here." She smiled at Buffy who looked away. "C'mon, B. Learn how to take a compliment."

"Fantastic," Giles muttered. "You've led her straight to us." Faith furrowed her brows.

"What's the big? I mean, we've got major Wiccas here, the whole Scooby gang." She looked at Anya and then at Xander. "Still not really sure what you two are useful for." Anya looked at her husband and then back at the woman who'd taken his virginity.

"I look after the money, and I run the shop. If it wasn't for me, they wouldn't have access to half of the books and spells they need." Faith nodded.

"Fair. And Xander? Still that, uh, seven minutes in heaven kinda guy?" Xander's face paled. Anya stood up.

"Actually, sixteen," Anya pointed out. "We've gone longer, but I'd say sixteen is about average, wouldn't you honey?" With his eyes, Xander pleaded for his wife to stop, but she couldn't see through it. Xander was actually relieved when Faith spoke next. "And a ring? Oh, let me guess. You two are hitched." Anya nodded happily. "Wow. See, Xander, I can see. He's kinda a need guy, but B? Never imagined her to be the ball and chain kinda girl. Guess things change."

"A lot's changed, but clearly you haven't," Willow muttered. Faith eyed her and then Tara.

"Nice to see the two of you are still together. You _are_ still together, right? I mean, why else would Tara be here? It's not like she has anything in common with…"

"Why don't you just shut up, Faith?" Dawn asked. "Maybe if you'd stop acting like a bitch and learn how to have civilized conversations, people wouldn't hate you so much."

"Not so sure about that," Willow pointed out. Faith sighed heavily.

"Whatever. Look, are you gonna help me or not? Don't wanna kill the kid. It's not her fault she's all pumped up with the amnesia juice. But she's strong. I have a feeling we'll have to get pretty rough with her."

"What makes me think we would help you, Faith?" Giles wondered, placing the earpiece of his glasses in the corner of his mouth.

"Because you're obviously freaked about me being here, because she's on my trail. What's going on?"

"You haven't exactly given us reason enough to trust you enough. Don't think we're going to make with the spillage tonight." Buffy stood up and crossed her arms across her stomach. "You have a place to stay?"

"I can find a hotel. Anything's better than a bunk in a cold, concrete room, you know?" She smirked. "Oh wait. You don't know."

"You're staying with me."

"Well, that's awful hospitable of you, B."

"I'd rather you be under my roof where I can keep an eye on you." Faith opened her mouth to speak, but Buffy continued first. "But if you try anything, I won't hesitate to chain you up in the basement." Faith thought about asking Buffy when she'd gotten into bondage, but from the annoyed look in her sister Slayer's eyes, she decided against it.

"Fine, whatever. Let's just get out of here." With that, Faith made for the door, and when nobody moved to follow, she turned and raised her eyebrows. "Or I could just walk myself home and see what kind of shenanigans I can get into along the way."

"Right," Buffy sighed. She grabbed some of her shopping bags, Spike grabbed a couple, and Dawn grabbed a few more.

"We'll be there shortly," Willow called, as they all exited Giles' home. Buffy took a deep breath and tried to force back the anger she still held against Faith for the past. If she really was on their side, it was going to take a lot of effort on both of their parts to work together and get this whole Council thing sorted out. She just had to calm herself and hope that Faith wouldn't tempt her to bash her head in or beat the living snot out of her before sunrise.

***

"Did you hear something?"

"No."

"I think I heard something."

"Luv, I've got better hearing than you. I didn't hear a bloody thing."

"Then maybe it's too quiet. She's up to something."

"Buffy, you need to get some rest."

"Yeah, but I can't do that with Faith sleeping on my couch."

"You're the one that invited her."

"Excuse me?"

"No excuse needed. You told her to stay here so you could keep an eye on her."

"And now you're nagging me for it?"

"Bloody hell, woman, I'm not nagging you. I'm just saying, it was your choice." Buffy stared at him for the longest moment before turning her head away and folding her arms. "Oh, brilliant. Giving me the silent treatment, are you?"

"You know," she hissed, "I'd appreciate it if you'd give me a little support." Spike narrowed his eyes at her. He loved her. He was bug shagging crazy about the bloody woman, but right now she made absolutely no sense at all.

"A little support? You want me to tell you that you were _wrong _to invite her into our home?" Buffy opened her mouth to speak but closed it just as quickly. "It's alright, luv. Just rest."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh Lord, here we go. Look, Buffy's hormones, I would love to speak to my wonderful, sweet, beautiful wife. When she comes back, could you tell her so?" Buffy glared at him, and he smiled a little, kissing her forehead. Finally, Buffy sighed and pulled herself out of bed. "Where you going?"

"I'm gonna make a sweep through the cemetery." She started pulling her clothes on.

"Oh. Alright." He started to get out of bed.

"No. No, I wanna go alone."

"Oh. Right."

"I just need to walk off this hormone surge before I say something I don't mean." She leaned down to kiss him softly. "I'll be back soon, ok?" Spike nodded.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered, zipping up her jeans. As soon as she had her shoes on, she was heading out the door. When she reached the foot of the stairs, she saw Faith sprawled out on the couch. Tiptoeing to the door, she unlocked it, and with painstaking slowness, she opened the door and headed out into the cool, brisk night.

***

The crunch of her boots on the cool ground was satisfying to the Slayer. The night was silent, and the air was crisp. Being alone was nice sometimes. Despite the fact that she would be happy to spend every moment for the rest of her life in the arms of her husband, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that had she not left that room when she had tonight, things would have been said and not meant, but it still would have ruffled some feathers in their marriage bed.

She inhaled a slow, steady breath, feeling the cool air calm her down a little. She was shivering slightly, so she pulled her coat tighter around her body. But just as she started to pick up the pace through the cemetery, she heard the scrape of boots behind her. Sighing, she froze and looked skyward, wondering why she was being punished.

"What do you want, Faith?"

"Same as you. To do a little damage to the demon world." Buffy spun on her heel to look at her fellow Slayer.

"I didn't say I wanted company."

"I didn't ask. Heard you sneak out. Thought it might be nice."

"Why don't you stick to that corner, and I'll stick to this one? If you insist on being here…"

"Buffy, I didn't come here to piss you off." At Buffy's doubtful glance, she shrugged and stuffed her hands in her pockets. "Ok, maybe I did a little. But come on. We're fighting on the same side."

"For once." Buffy turned and headed off in the same direction she was heading before. Faith hurried after her until she was walking with the same quick pace across the cemetery.

"You don't want me here."

"What gave you that idea? Was it not obvious enough for you?"

"Listen, B…"

"No, you listen. Just because Angel believed you had some redeeming qualities doesn't mean I'm going to automatically be your best friend." Faith looked a little taken aback. She wished she didn't care so damned much with Buffy thought of her.

"Well, it's great to know you have such high hopes for a girl like me." Faith turned and started to head off, but Buffy cringed inwardly and sighed.

"Faith, wait."

"Why the hell should I? Obviously I can't do right in your eyes. I mean, of course Angel and Spike are worth forgiving for all the people they've killed…and eaten…but me? Oh no, I'm just a piece of trash that doesn't deserve forgiveness, right?"

"That's not…"

"Or maybe you just have to be the Slayer's sex puppy, huh? Maybe that's the only way to get a little forgiveness." Before she knew what she was doing, Buffy reached out and slapped Faith across the face. Faith felt the sting, and she smiled a little. "Good to see you've still got it, B."

"Don't talk about Angel. Or Spike. You don't know anything about…"

"All I know is that you can't stand that I'm trying to pick myself up off the floor. I've done some seriously fucked up things, yeah. I admit that. But I'm trying here, B."

"Not very hard."

"I'm not saying I wanna be best pals. I just want you to know that I'm done with all that. I don't care about getting even with you. I don't care that you're always going to be the Chosen One—the one everybody looks to for orders, even when another Slayer's around. Bugs me a little, but I'm cool with it. Why? Because I realize that I don't have to prove myself. I just have to do what I was born to do, you know?"

"Does that include sleeping with the men I care about, or is that just a bonus." Faith couldn't help the smirk that spread over her face.

"You really think I want Spike?"

"No. Not Spike."

"So this is about Riley? Or is it Angel? Take your pick, B, because I won't lie. I tried to take Angel away from you, but he was too devoted to following you around like a puppy. And Riley? Well, the boy was a pretty package, but he wasn't too smart in the head. Wasn't too good of a lay either, but I'm sure you already knew that, or else you wouldn't be doing the bedroom bunny hug with William the Bloody." Buffy sighed heavily and took a few moments of pause to think about what to say to the other Slayer. Truthfully, she wanted nothing more to have it out with Faith. A full on hand to hand combat with some major pain, but she had good reason for not getting into that right now.

"I really don't wanna talk about the past, Faith. What you did is done, ok?" She turned and walked away.

"What? That's it?"

"What do you want me to say? It's the past. It happened, and it's over. If things had gone differently, maybe I wouldn't be where I am today. And I'm happy with where I am."

"Oh come on. Don't give me that bullshit, B. You can't tell me you don't look at me and hate me because of what I did." Buffy turned to face Faith. Despite everything that had happened between them in the past, she couldn't hate the girl. Faith had had a completely different upbringing than her, and Buffy knew that given similar circumstances, she could have ended up the same way. But with the baby on the way, having Faith around was a frightening notion. Maybe Faith was reformed, but that didn't mean she wanted her child growing up around someone like Faith, who, in the past, and switched sides at the drop of a dime.

"I don't hate you, Faith. Ok? I don't. I probably should. But I don't. But I also don't want you in my life. When this thing with Dana's over, I want you gone, you got that?" Faith shrugged her shoulders.

"You got it, B."

"Good." When she spun back around, her face connected with a cold, dead fist, and she stumbled backward. Faith caught her but immediately left her side to chase after the freshly woken vampire.

He didn't get very far. Faith grabbed him by the collar and swung him back, knocking his head into a tree. Buffy grabbed her stake from her pocket, rushing at him. But, he caught his balance, barreled past Faith, and startled to run behind a crypt.

"Faith, go that way," Buffy instructed. Without hesitation, Faith rushed around one side, while she headed around the other. Faith must have reached him first, as he came sprinting out, his massive hands pushing at Buffy's chest, sending her flying back against a grave stone. She felt a twinge of pain in her back, and she groaned, clutching her stomach.

"I got this one!" Faith claimed, tossing her stake at the escaping vampire. The force of the blow was enough to impale him, and within moments, the stake clattered to the grassy ground in a wave of dust.

When Faith turned around from retrieving her stake, Buffy was kneeling on the ground, clutching her stomach, frozen in what looked like fear. Faith furrowed her brows and tentatively stepped up to the other Slayer's side.

"B?"

"I'm fine. Just…give me a second."

"What happened?"

"Nothing! Ok?" She stood up, pulling her coat tightly around herself. Faith, completely not buying Buffy's assurances, considering she was clutching herself and gritting her teeth, pulled the Slayer up, and in doing so, the coat slipped out of place, revealing the secret Buffy had been hiding from her. Faith's eyes immediately widened at the sight, and she looked back up at her sister Slayer.

"Holy shit, B! You're pregnant?!"

* * *

_Please let me know what you thought of the chapter! I would greatly appreciate it! :)_


	60. Get it Done

_Author's Note: Hey guys, thanks for your feedback and support! I had some tests run at the hospital yesterday, and they came back normal, though my doctor is still convinced that it's my gallbladder giving me problems. Hopefully it'll go away on its own. Anyway, here's a short chapter, but hopefully it's an enjoyable one!_

Chapter 60: Get it Done

"I'm begging you, Faith. Just let it go." The two Slayers walked side-by-side down the street toward the house on Revello Drive.

"How can I let it go, Buffy? You're _pregnant_! That's kind've a big deal."

"Say it a little louder, Faith. I don't have quite enough demons to deal with. What's a few more coming after not just me but my child?" Faith thought about that for a moment.

"Ok," she said quietly. "Do you need a doctor or something?"

"No. I'm fine. Just scared me a little."

"Should you be slaying in your condition." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Normally I don't patrol alone."

"So why were you tonight?"

"I needed to get out of the house."

"And away from me?"

"Sort of," Buffy admitted. She shrugged her shoulders. "I've got a lot to deal with right now, Faith. This baby…the prophecy."

"Prophecy?"

"Yeah. This old prophet visited Spike and said that with this baby there'd be a new danger…and to look within."

"Look within what?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe…the Council. And with all this new stuff you're telling us, I'm pretty sure that's exactly it. I mean, I'm part of the Council whether I like it or not. Being a Slayer makes me kinda involved. So…"

"Yeah," Faith said quietly. They were silent for a few minutes. "So who's the dad?"

"What?!"

"Well, vampires can't make babies. Not to my knowledge anyway."

"This was a special circumstance." Faith raised her eyebrows.

"You're telling me you're carrying around a junior vampire?"

"It's human," Buffy corrected. "But Spike's the father."

"Wicked. How'd that happen?" Buffy didn't exactly want to explain that to Faith, but she figured she'd find out soon enough anyway.

"There was a claim."

"A claim? As in…oh man. You got claimed by a vampire?"

"Hey, I claimed him back!" Buffy defended. Faith let out a laugh.

"Wow, B. That's…I don't even have words."

"For once," Buffy mumbled. "I don't know why I even told you."

"Well, I'm not about to go running to the Council and tell them you're having William the Bloody's love child, if that's what you're thinking. Never was much for the idea of the Council anyway. Except, of course, when they gave me a pretty sweet deal. Got me out of prison, found a place for me to stay, took good care of me."

"Sounds an awful lot like the Mayor." Buffy turned to Faith. "You're a grown woman, Faith. A grown Slayer. You don't need anybody to take care of you." Faith said nothing. She just looked straight ahead. "I don't get it. You're so willing to trust the first person that offers you a better deal. That's why I can't trust you, Faith. What happens if the Council offers to set you up for life if you hand me over to them? Huh?"

"B, I wouldn't…"

"How can I be so sure of that?"

"Guess you'll just have to learn to trust me."

"Yeah? Well, that's not gonna be easy."

"You just want to see me fail."

"Right," Buffy snorted. "Because I'm the goody-two-shoes, right? Because I'm supposed to be the good Slayer, and apparently, in your mind, there can only be one of those. Well, let me let you in on a little secret. Perfect? I'm far from it. Maybe I don't go around insulting every person I run into like _you _do. But I have so many things to deal with in my life that I don't even want to think about."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Why do you care?"

"C'mon, B. Just humor me. What is it you're dealing with? Or not dealing with." Buffy frowned, not wanting to divulge anything to the Slayer, but at the same time, she felt so frustrated that she might burst.

"Where should I begin? Let's see. My father abandoned me. Again. Pretty soon, I'm going to have the Council coming after me for carrying the child of a vampire. My mood swings are so bad that I've actually threatened Giles with letting the demon population take over Sunnydale if it would give me one moment's comfort from the constant aches and pains I've _already _having, and I'm not even halfway through my pregnancy. I have _you_ here, and I don't know what the hell to say or do, because looking at you brings up a part of my life I just want to forget. Oh, and the other morning? I found a box of condoms hidden behind the bubble bath under the sink in the bathroom. Spike and I don't need protection. And Willow and Tara? Not exactly witches of the male variety, and still very lesbian last time I checked. I don't even want to deal with the concept of my little sister doing what I think she's doing…" Buffy shivered, and Faith smirked a little, shaking her head.

"Take a breath, B."

"Look, I just wanna get home. I'm tired. I'm just…" She couldn't even think of another word to describe her state of being at that very moment. All she wanted to do was snuggle up under the covers with her honey and think about things much more pleasant than the Watcher's Council or a newly-reformatted Slayer that was hot on the heels of the other Slayer that Buffy hadn't thought she'd ever have to deal with again.

"Alright. Well, why don't you keep on walking, and I'll double back and make another sweep of the cemetery? Don't think I could sleep right now, and I'm kinda restless. It's been a while since I had a good night of slaying."

"Right. Ok." Buffy continued on toward home, and Faith, with a long, curious glance back at Buffy, headed off to patrol once again.

***

Spike woke when Buffy crawled into bed next to him. He couldn't help but smile when he felt her spoon herself behind him, one of her hands sliding up and down his bare arm before she reached under it and rested her hand against his chest. He took her hand in his and gave it a little kiss before placing it back where it was before.

"Everything go ok?"

"Yeah," she yawned. "Faith showed up."

"You didn't kill her did you?"

"No," Buffy snorted.

"Probably for the best," he yawned.

"She showed up between mood swings. She's still very much alive. At least she was when I left her. Can't say what she's doing now. She doubled back and went for one more sweep of the place."

"Mmmhmm," he mumbled sleepily.

"It was kinda quiet tonight."

"Think the next big bad wannabes of Sunnydale are starting to reconsider settling down. Two Slayers in town? Not good for morale amongst the evil."

"Maybe," she whispered against his back, resting her flushed cheek there. Spike reached behind him and caressed her belly. "She's ok."

"Something happened?" Spike turned in the bed to face her, eyes full of worry now. She nodded.

"Yeah, but it's ok." She smiled, but she wasn't very convincing. She rolled onto her back, and Spike scooted himself down the length of the bed so that his head rested on the bump of a stomach.

He was silent for several moments before he looked back up at his wife.

"She sounds ok," he said quietly. Buffy nodded.

"She is. Don't worry." He crawled up and placed his lips against hers, kissing her softly.

"Maybe it'd be better to let Faith do the patrolling for a while." Buffy pulled back a little.

"What?"

"With the baby…"

"The baby's fine, Spike. I can be the Slayer and be pregnant."

"Can, yeah. But should?"

"You actually want me to quit?"

"Not quit. Just…go on early maternity leave." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"I can't stop saving the world because I'm pregnant. Tonight was just…"

"Buffy," he urged, taking her hand in his. "If anything happened to you or to the little bit, I don't know what I'd do. Please just…think about it." Buffy sighed, knowing herself well enough to know that she wasn't going to give up Slaying that easily, but to appease her worried husband for now, she just nodded.

"I'll _think_ about it." He kissed her again.

"All I ask, luv."

***

"Quentin Travers."

"It's me."

"Oh. Yes. Have you any news?"

"You could say that."

"Well?"

"It's about Buffy Summers and her vampire boyfriend."

"Buffy and…"

"William the Bloody."

"Yes. Of course, you did mention a relationship. Go on."

"It's not just a relationship, Mr. Travers. They're…_married_."

"Married?"

"And that's not all. Sir, Buffy's pregnant."

"She's…"

"With the vampire's child." There was a pause on the other line. "Sir?"

"The child of a human and a vampire? It's…an abomination. Completely unheard of, and irresponsible of a Slayer to think about introducing that into the world."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to take care of it. By any means necessary."

"It might take some time."

"Yes, of course. Just get it done."

* * *

_Please let me know what you thought! Review please!_


	61. It's A

Chapter 61: It's A…

"Boy. I didn't realize how thin you were before you got pregnant, Buffy, until I saw an old picture of you, Willow, and Xander earlier today. When are you due, again? Next month?"

"No," Buffy said through gritted teeth, "I'm due in September. It's only April."

"Oh," Anya said quietly. Buffy groaned and put her hands on her expanding belly.

"Told you. I'm a whale."

"You are not, luv," Spike assured her. "And if anybody said anything of the sort again, I'll bite them."

"Thanks, baby," she grinned. Standing up, Buffy placed her hands on her lower back. In the past few weeks, her belly had certainly popped a little more. She was now wearing her maternity clothes, and everyone and anyone who saw her on the street would look at her belly first and then at her and smile knowingly. While some women might find it nice to get that kind of cutesy attention, she found it quite creepy sometimes, depending on her mood. It was as if they were looking at her and thinking 'gee, I know what you did.'

"We're gonna be late if we don't get a move on," Buffy pointed out. "Sun's down now. Faith already went out to patrol. Willow and Tara are on Dana watch, just in case she decides to make her appearance. We're free."

"Right," Spike pointed out. "I'll pull the car around."

"I can walk to the car. I'm not helpless, Spike. Besides, I'm not even halfway through this pregnancy yet."

"Wow," Anya stammered. "You're gonna get so big."

"Anya…"

"Let it go, luv," Spike urged.

"Yeah. Good idea." Buffy shot another glare at Anya, who was oblivious, as she was already dusting off the shelves, preparing for the next business day.

The two left together and made their way out to Spike's old car. They didn't use it much, but Buffy was finding it more and more convenient with her increasing waistline and bladder that was seemingly decreasing in size.

The past few weeks had been pretty quiet. A few kills a week for both Buffy and Faith, which was surprising for the Hellmouth. Buffy was starting to believe that Spike was probably accurate in saying that evil was spreading itself thin because two Slayers meant twice the mortality rate for the demon world.

Tara and Willow had found a place close to the Magic Box, and they were in the process of moving out, but hadn't done so completely yet. Buffy and Spike had decided to take over that room because it was larger, and use Buffy's room for the baby's nursery.

They drove in silence toward the doctor's office, and Buffy slowly strummed her fingers against her swollen stomach. Spike eyed her, noticing how her lips were set in a thin line, and her eyes seemed full of worry.

"Something bothering you, pet?"

"No," she said quietly. She glanced at him and shrugged. "I haven't felt the baby move yet. I know the books say it might not happen yet, but…I don't know. It seems like I should have felt her already, you know? I mean, she's ours. You'd think she's be making her presence known as soon as possible. With your DNA, I'd think she'd be keeping me up at all hours of the night." Spike chuckled at that.

"Not to worry, luv. Her heart's strong and healthy. I listen to her every night. You don't have to worry."

"I love that I have my own living stethoscope," she giggled.

"Un…"

"Undead, whatever," she said with a roll of her eyes. She looked down at her belly and rubbed it gently. "What do you say, little one? You gonna let us know if you're a Spike Jr. or a Buffy Jr.?"

"Buffy Jr. all the way."

"We're not naming her that if that's what she is," Buffy grinned. "I don't want to give her reason to hate us _before _ she's a teenager." Spike snickered at his wife's comment, and they continued on toward the clinic.

***

"I thought you were supposed to be patrolling," Willow murmured, as she stepped into the kitchen of the Summers' home to find Faith munching on a fresh piece of pizza out of a delivery box.

"I got hungry. I'm on my way," she commented.

"For a Slayer, you don't really seemed concerned about the evil out there." Willow moved to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, unscrewed the cap, and took a sip.

"Yeah, well, I work better on a full stomach." Faith closed the pizza box and slid it across the counter toward Willow. "Have at it. I'm out." Faith turned on her heel and headed out the door. Willow frowned and opened the pizza box. She considered taking a slice, but decided against it, and when Tara walked in the room, she immediately sensed her girlfriend's anxiety.

"What's wrong?" she asked, acknowledging the frown on Willow's face.

"Oh, what else?"

"Faith."

"She's been there too long. I don't think I feel right moving out and leaving Buffy here with _her_."

"She won't be alone. Spike and Dawn are here."

"Yeah. Faith's a Slayer, meaning she could easily hurt Dawn and stake Spike without a moment's notice." Tara placed her hand over Willow's.

"I'm sure she won't be here much longer."

"Any luck with the locator spell?"

"No. No other slayers in the city limits. Doesn't mean she's not around."

"Doesn't anyone ever check the mail around here?" Dawn asked, walking into the kitchen with a package in her hands.

"What's that?" Willow wondered, frowning and taking the brown box.

"It's postmarked from L.A. Must be from Dad," Dawn said with a shrug. "Probably a baby gift to try to make up for missing Buffy's birthday. We should just toss it out." Willow shook her head.

"I'm sure Buffy'd want to see it, even if your dad is a creep for what he did." Dawn raised an eyebrow. "Sorry. Went into protective best friend mode there for a minute."

"No, it's fair," Dawn muttered. "He is a creep. Won't even return _my _calls." She turned the package over in her hands. "Or maybe it's from Angel."

"He doesn't know about the baby."

"Oh come on. You think Wesley can keep quiet that long?" Willow shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe?"

"I dunno." She slid it off to the side of the counter and set her eyes on the pizza box. "Oh! What kind is it?"

"Looks like pepperoni and ham. And extra greasy," Willow answered. "Want some?"

"Mmm, yes please." Willow handed the box to Dawn, who went to town on the steamy, gooey pizza. For a moment, all was quiet, until a tinkling musical sound came from the box.

"Oookay," Tara said slowly. "That's weird."

"Better call Buffy," Willow said quietly.

"Because it's the evil music box of doom?" Dawn wondered. Willow rolled her eyes and dialed anyway. After a couple of rings, the slayer picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Buffy, it's Willow."

"Wil, what's up?"

"Well, you got a package. It's…tinkling."

"Ew. What is it, an animal?"

"Huh? Oh! No, not that kind of tinkling. I mean, it's playing music."

"Oh. Umm…who's it from?"

"I don't know. It's postmarked from L.A."

"Oh. Probably from my dad. You can open it. If it's for the baby, I might keep it, depending on what it is."

"Ok, hold on. Dawn? Open it, will you?" Dawn went to work, and after about ten seconds, she was pulling a pink and blue model carousel out of the package. As the horses moved around and around on it, the song played, but when she stuck her finger in to halt the rotation, the music stopped. "Aw, Buffy, it's so cute!"

"What is it?"

"It's a carousel music box thing. It's all baby-colored and cute. I think you should keep it."

"Put it up in my room…I'll figure out what to do with it later. Thanks, Wil."

"No problem. You find out what the baby is yet?"

"We're just sitting in the office now."

"Ok, well, just so you know, we're all pretty sure it's a girl."

"You know, we're all gonna be feeling pretty stupid if it turns out to be a boy. And he must _never_ know we all thought he was a girl, because, well, I don't know, but I'm sure that could give the kid a complex." Willow laughed a little.

"Got it. Operation Complex-less Baby commences in 3…2….1…."

"Ha, see ya later, Wil."

"Bye." Willow hung up and looked at Tara and Dawn. "Well, she said to keep it."

"Wonder why he didn't call?" Tara wondered. With a roll of her eyes, Dawn let out a little sigh.

"Because he doesn't do confrontation well. He'd rather try to buy us off with stuff like this than actually face up to being a jerk."

"I'll take it up to Buffy's room." Dawn took the carousel in her hands and headed out of the room with it.

"That's just not right," Willow muttered, wiping down the countertop. "I know I don't really talk to my parents as much as I should, but at least I know they're there for me if I need them, and it goes both ways. I don't get it. Anybody'd be lucky to have Dawn and Buffy as daughters."

"Maybe he's just not dad material," Tara said quietly. "Not every dad knows how to be a dad, you know?" Willow nodded, rubbing Tara's arm sympathetically. After all, she'd gotten a raw deal in the dad department too.

"I guess not," Willow said softly, frowning. "Buffy's baby's lucky. I don't think Spike's going anywhere for a long time."

***

"Do you have any questions, Buffy?" Dr. Jones asked, as she ran the ultrasound wand along Buffy's belly.

"Well, I haven't felt the baby moving. Is that…is that bad?"

"Not at all. Many women don't feel the baby move until further into their pregnancy. Some women claim they can feel it even earlier. It's different with all women, but not at all uncommon for you not to have noticed, since this is your first pregnancy."

"Why's that?"

"Well, there's a chance the baby has moved, and you have felt it, but you maybe didn't know that that was what you were feeling. And I'm sure you'll feel the baby within the next few weeks or so, Mr. Pratt."

"Me?" Spike asked, stepping closer to the exam table.

"Of course. Once the baby gets a little bigger, you may even see your wife's belly move when the baby stretches out." Dr. Jones smiled and pointed to the screen. "See there? You have a very active little one." Buffy and Spike stared in awe at their child on the screen. They could see the little flicker of its heart, one leg kicked out, and the baby's arm moved out, as if punching air. Spike smirked and pressed his lips against Buffy's temple.

"Just like her mum, eh, pet?" Buffy grinned and chewed on her lower lip as she saw her baby in live action.

"So, can you see what it is?" Buffy wondered.

"I can try. Though I'll run another scan later on to make sure. Let's just see if the baby will cooperate."

"If she's like her mum, not likely," Spike laughed. Buffy hit him in the arm. "Ow."

"Like you're Mr. Cooperative."

"Let's just face it here and now, luv. This baby's gonna be anything but easy."

"You know, they say two negatives make a positive."

"Who said we were negative?"

"Ah, here we are," Dr. Jones announced, breaking up the playful banter between the newlyweds.

"You know what it is?" Buffy asked.

"I'm about 98 percent certain. I can be 100 percent in a few weeks, but yes, I'm fairly certain you can start picking out nursery colors now." Buffy and Spike looked at one another expectantly, and Buffy took a deep breath.

"Ok? So…what is it?"

"See this right here?" She pointed to the area in question, and both Buffy and Spike turned their heads from side to side, trying to make heads or tails out of it.

"Not really," Buffy admitted.

"That's alright. Many parents are a little confused."

"But there's something to see? So it's a boy?" Spike wondered, prepared to be completely blown away that the Bitty Buffy name was about to be thrown out the window.

"Well, I was just referring to the area. I don't see anything that resembles a penis," Dr. Jones chuckled. Spike's eyes widened, and he looked at Buffy, who quickly snapped her attention to him, eyes wide too.

"Oh my God! It's a girl?"

"Congratulations," Dr. Jones grinned. "You're having a daughter."

***

Hank Summers stumbled out of the extremely uncomfortable bed. He ran his hand over his stubble-covered face and made his way to the small kitchen on the other side of the tiny apartment.

Opening the fridge, he took out a beer and pulled the tap, hearing the satisfactory hiss as the carbonation bubbled inside. He took a long drink before placing the can on the counter. He moved over to the window that came completely with a repaired bullet hole and a large crack stemming from the center and spider-legging outward. He peered out into the street seeing the same silver car that had been parked there every night for the past few weeks. He'd evaded them for a few months, but now, they were on to him.

Grabbing his cell phone, he leaned against the front door and dialed a number. After five rings and no answer, he threw the phone across the room in frustration.

Light flickered in from the window, reflecting on something shiny across the room. It was a picture of his two beautiful girls. He closed his eyes with frustration, wondering what must be going through their minds in regards to him. Did they even regard him anymore? Was he even a thought that crossed their minds? He wouldn't blame them if he wasn't. If only they knew.

He shook his head, forcing himself to avoid picking up the phone and calling them, something he'd wanted to do for so many months now. But it wasn't safe. Not for him. Not for them. If they wanted to hate him, it was ok, because at least they'd still be alive.

He was torn out of his thoughts by a rap at the door.

"Mr. Summers? Detective Edwards, LAPD." It was a female voice. One he hadn't heard before. He got up and looked out the window. The silver car was still there. He said nothing. Only pressed himself flat against the wall. "Mr. Summers. I know you're in there. I've been watching your apartment for three days. You haven't left. We can do this the easy way." Hank held his breath, closing his eyes and waiting for the inevitable. After several long moments, the door flew off the hinges, and the woman stepped inside, dressed from head to toe in black. No sign of a badge or even a gun on her. "Hi Mr. Summers."

"Who are you?" He watched her cock her head to the side.

"I'm an old friend of your daughter's."

"What do you want?"

"I need you to give her a little message." Hank's eyes widened in fear as she stepped closer to her.

"Tell her this: It doesn't have to be difficult. We know the secret she carries, and it has to be disturbed." Hank shook his head.

"I can't…I won't."

"Don't worry about the men parked outside. They're not who you think they are. They'll be gone the moment I step outside your door. You're safe, Mr. Summers. My employer has, let's just say, taken care of the problem you ran into with your clients. You're free to come out of hiding, but you won't be safe from him until you deliver the message to your daughter."

"Who…who should I…"

"She'll know," she said softly, "but just in case she needs some help remembering, tell her Dana Mullens sends her regards."

* * *

_Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm going out of town for a few days or a week on Saturday, so this might be my last update until I get back. If I get inspired tomorrow, I might just get another chapter out. Anyway, let me know what you think! Thanks!_


	62. Unexpected Caller

Chapter 62: Unexpected Caller

Dana leaned against the railing outside of her hotel room. Her head was spinning, she was sweating, and when she leaned over, her stomach lurched, and she got sick. Her head pounded when she straightened herself up and went inside.

Collapsing on the couch, she reached for the phone, hand trembling. She dialed the number she was supposed to, and after one ring, a male voice answered.

"Is it done?"

"I delivered the message," she murmured, her voice straining.

"Dana? Are you alright?"

"I…I don't know. Something doesn't feel right, Mr. Travers."

"Have you taken your dose this evening?"

"No, I was…just getting ready to, Sir."

"Dana, it's very important that you take it. You know that, right?"

"I…"

"If you don't take it, those memories, all of those terrible memories will come rushing back, and who knows the kind of damage that could do? Do you understand?"

"Yeah," she whispered, voice trembling as she rubbed her temples. "I don't understand why Mr. Summers has to be involved."

"Because as much tension as there is between Buffy and her father, she would never let harm come to him."

"Maybe it's not worth it. Maybe the baby's not a threat."

"The child is the product of a vampire. That is most certainly a threat. If you don't feel as if you can complete this mission, I'll send someone else."

"No…I…"

"The child _must _be destroyed, preferably before the birth."

"What if it's not…I mean, what if it's…"

"Do you really want to risk the lives of others wasting time to figure that out?"

"No. I…I know what I'm doing, Sir. It just doesn't feel like..."

"Dana, when this is all said and done, you are free to go about your own way and never speak to me again. It's just important that you take care of this. Buffy may be a Slayer, but she's also about to be a mother, and she would do anything to protect her young. And now it appears that Faith is on her side. If you hadn't tracked Faith to Sunnydale, we wouldn't have known about this."

"I know," Dana muttered.

"Please Dana, I'm worried for your health. If you don't take this medicine…there's no telling what might happen. You could become seriously ill or…or even…"

"Ok. I'll take it," Dana promised. "But after this, I…I don't think I want to be part of the council anymore."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that just yet. Just finish your task and get back to me." The line went dead, and with uncertainty, Dana reached into a bag and pulled out a syringe and a vile. Closing her eyes, she filled the needle with Mr. Travers' mystery cure for her ghost of a past, and injected it into her arm.

***

"Don't even…"

"But I did."

"Don't say it!"

"C'mon, pet."

"Ugh. If it means that much to you, go on. Say it."

"I told you so."

"Did that feel good?"

"Oh, so good."

"Good," she giggled. "Besides, it's not like I was betting against you or something. Still, I wouldn't count your chickens, Mister. There's still a chance it's a boy."

"A 2% chance?"

"Still a chance, isn't it?" She sighed and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest as they rode home. "Looks like we're thinking pink now, hmm?"

"Admit it, luv. You've been thinking pink ever since I dubbed the bump 'Bitty Buffy.'" Buffy cocked her head to the side and grinned at him. "What?"

"You just called my stomach 'the bump.'

"What?"

"You did. That's adorable," she giggled. Spike just smirked, and keeping one hand on the wheel, reached over with his other to caress the swell of her abdomen.

"You hear that? Your mummy thinks I'm adorable." Buffy placed her hand over his and smiled happily as she stared out the window. She closed her eyes and sighed softly. "We're gonna have to start thinking of names."

"Something that goes with Pratt," Buffy agreed. "Nothing with a 'p'."

"Oh, so no Priscilla Pratt? No Petunia Pratt?"

"If you even think of naming out daughter Petunia, I'm filing for divorce," she laughed. Spike chuckled and squeezed her hand.

"Pollyanna Pratt. Peggy Pratt. Princess…"

"Now you're not even trying."

"You got something better?"

"No 'p' names," she insisted. Spike grinned and moved his hand back to the steering wheel. "And no creepy vampire names."

"Yes, because I was thinking of naming our daughter Lestat Pratt." He chuckled at his own rhyme.

"Hey, if it's a boy, maybe," she grinned. Spike shook his head

"Nope, that's my girl in there. She knows her father's right."

"Well, it could be twins. We might have little Pollyanna and Lestat Pratt squirming around in there."

"Oh, don't even joke about that, luv. I'm still having nightmares about changing diapers. Couldn't imagine juggling two at a time."

"That's why there's two of us. One for the diaper changing and one for the pushing off of diaper changing duties onto the other one." She leaned over to kiss his cheek and then rested her head on his shoulder. "I can't wait to see you with her. God, she's gonna be so spoiled." Spike was about to respond, but Buffy's cell phone rang. She frowned and dug into her purse and retrieved it.

"Hello?"

"Buffy, it's Dad."

"Dad? What…"

"I don't have time to explain. I'm on my way into Sunnydale. Can you wait up?"

"I…what's going on?"

"Please, Buffy. I'll explain everything. Just…" He sounded worried, and suddenly, her anger over the past few months receded a little.

"Oh…ok. I'll be up. Are you ok?"

"Don't worry about me. Just go home and stay there, ok?" She couldn't speak. She'd never heard her father this frantic before. "Ok. I'm on my way home now. Just…be careful, ok?" The line went dead, and Buffy slowly put her phone back in her purse.

"What's wrong?"

"My dad's coming to Sunnydale."

"What?"

"I don't…he sounded…I don't know, a little scared. He wants me to wait up for him." Spike stepped on the gas a little, and Buffy took a deep breath. What the Hell was going on, and why did her father sound so frightened?

***

When they arrived back at the house, Willow and Tara and were still there, and they were eating popcorn and watching a movie with Dawn. However, as soon as the three ladies became aware of Spike and Buffy's presence, the movie was put on pause, and they were swarming around them.

"So? Did you find out?" Dawn asked. "Boy or girl? It's a girl isn't it!" Buffy tried to muster up a happier smile, but with her father's visit on her mind, it was rather pitiful. "It's a boy, isn't it? Well, that's great too! I'm sure he'll be awesome!"

"It's a boy?" Willow asked. "Aww, I thought a little girl would be so cute. A mini-Buffy! Oh, and then she can meet a mini-Willow and a mini-Xander and…sorry. Buffy?"

"No, it's a girl," she smiled. "A healthy little girl who will _not _be named Pollyanna or Priscilla."

"Yay!" Dawn exclaimed, hugging her sister, who returned the hug. "Oh my God. Everything's going to be pink."

"I thought you hated pink," Tara pointed out.

"Well, on me, yeah, but oh, there's nothing cuter than a baby all pinked-out. C'mon, please!" Buffy looked at Spike, who apparently wasn't too keen on the pink idea.

"Well, you're gonna have to get used to it sooner or later. She might be just as girly as her mom."

"But pink? Why not purple or…"

"You like pink when I wear it," Buffy pouted.

"Yeah, but that's 'cause I know I get to rip it off of you later. Bit different in that scenario." Buffy frowned.

"Well, you're the one that was so sure she was a girl. You should've prepared yourself. Time to think pink, right?" Spike sighed and gave his wife a tender kiss. He wasn't going to complain. No way, no how. She could decorate the sodding nursery with pink fluffy kittens and frilly, lacey girly things, and he wouldn't give a damn, because he just counted himself lucky to be able to be a part of this with the only woman he'd ever felt absolutely certain about in his love for her.

"Right then. I can see it's no use arguing here."

"Congratulations," Tara offered. "I can't wait to meet her."

"Thanks Tara," Buffy grinned. "She's gonna be so spoiled with this guy for a dad." She motioned toward Spike. "And with three aunts." She looked at her sister, Willow, and Tara.

After a few minutes, Willow and Tara were heading to their new place, and Buffy turned to Dawn, as Spike saw them out.

"Dawn, we need to talk."

"Is something wrong?" Buffy shook her head a little and led her sister into the living room. "Buffy?"

"I got a call on the way home. It was Dad."

"What?"

"He's heading this way. Something sounded wrong, but he wouldn't tell me anything. Whatever it is, he's worried enough to come here and talk to us about it face to face, so I just wanted to warn you." Dawn's eyes filled with fear, and she looked down, the memory of her mother telling her that she had to go to the hospital for some tests coming to mind.

"Do you…do you think he's sick?" Buffy smoothed back her sister's hair and leaned forward to give her a hug.

"I dunno, Dawnie, but I'm sure he'll tell us everything when he gets here." Dawn nodded, and she took a deep breath. "Try not to worry until we know everything, ok?"

"I'll try."

"You don't have to wait up."

"Yeah…I do. I wanna hear what he has to say."

"Ok. Well, is your homework done?"

"Almost?"

"Go finish it up. I'll let you know when he gets here, ok?" Dawn sighed. Like she'd be able to get any homework done now. But, to appease her sister, she nodded again.

"'Kay." Buffy gave her another hug and watched Dawn head upstairs to her room. Spike came back in the house and joined Buffy in the living room.

"You alright, pet?"

"Yeah. Just worried about my dad. Sounds kinda strange, since he hasn't really been worried about me. But…something tells me that maybe…maybe he had a reason for not calling."

"Maybe," Spike whispered, placing his hand on her knee. "Guess all we have to do is wait and see, right?" She nodded, looping her arm through his and resting her head on his shoulder. "It'll be alright, pet."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right." She closed her eyes and tried to push back the nagging thoughts that this had something to do with the haunting prophecy that Voraos had spoken of. All she could do was wait and hope that it was something else entirely.

* * *

_So I managed to ink out another chapter before my trip. I'm leaving in about 5 minutes, so I apologize for any spelling/grammar problems, as I'm rushing out the door right now. LOL, anyway, leave me some feedback to read when I get back next week! :) Thanks!_


	63. Faceoff

Chapter 63: Faceoff

Over an hour later, the sound of a car slowing to a stop woke Buffy from her sleep. She gently patted Spike on the chest to rouse him.

"Can you go get Dawn?" she whispered. Spike paused for a moment, concentrating.

"She's fast asleep, luv. Homework must have bored her into her dreams."

"I don't wanna wake her up." Buffy moved toward the door, hands beginning to sweat. "Maybe his being here isn't such a good thing. I don't wanna upset her."

"You want me to leave you alone?" Buffy shook her head.

"Stay. Please." Spike nodded and took Buffy's hand, giving it a little squeeze. He watched as she hesitated with her other hand on the doorknob. Footsteps approached the door, and he could hear her heart beginning to pound. He brought his hands to her shoulders and leaned in, whispering into her ear.

"It's alright, luv. Whatever it's about…it's ok."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I guess so." With a deep breath, she opened the door. Standing before her was the image of her father, but he had changed so much since she'd seen him at Christmas.

His face was pale, and his hair had become a little greyer around the ears. His eyes were wide and frantic, and the features of his face immediately told her he'd dropped more than a few pounds.

"Dad?"

"Buffy." The breath he let out contained a mixture of emotions and just a hint of whiskey. He reached out for her, bringing her into a startling hug. Buffy closed her eyes, feeling a lump forming in her throat. The man in front of her couldn't be the selfish bastard her mind had painted him to be over the past few months.

"Dad," she whispered, pulling back, tears in her eyes. "What happened?" Hank looked down the moment he and Buffy separated, and his wide eyes came back to rest on hers the moment realization struck.

"You're pregnant?" Buffy was silent, though inside of her mind was a little red flag popping up, reminding her to toss out the carousel that he had supposedly sent. Spike stepped up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder again. Buffy's hand moved to rest upon his, and she nodded.

"Yeah," she said softly. "We can talk about that later, Dad. Just tell me what's going on." They moved into the living room, and Buffy motioned for her dad to sit down. The three sat in total silence for several minutes, as Hank's hands fidgeted with his coat and looked around the room curiously. The place hadn't changed much since he'd seen it last, but it felt so much different now. It was a stranger's home. "Dad. I tried to call you…"

"I never got those calls, honey," he said quietly, looking away. Was he ashamed? "A couple days after you left, I got a call at the office, and it turned out that some of my business partners weren't exactly as legit as I thought. I didn't think, and I immediately went to my boss, who of course wanted to know everything. I told him what I knew, and my partners found out. They put a hit out on me, and I was hiding. They also tried to make it look as if I'd had a part in it. But Buffy, I swear to you, I didn't. I…I didn't." Buffy nodded.

"It's ok, Dad. I believe you. What happened?"

"I don't know. I went into hiding. I couldn't contact anybody. I was afraid you'd get hurt, and I didn't want to hurt you and Dawn again. Not after everything I've already put you through."

"Dad, you could have…"

"No. I didn't want to get you involved." Buffy looked at Spike and then at her father.

"So why are you here? What changed?"

"Buffy, I thought the police were after me. And then this woman shows up." Buffy's spine tingled.

"Woman?"

"She came bursting into my apartment, and she said she was an old friend of yours. D-D-Dana, I think. Dana Mullens." Buffy let out a heavy sigh and hung her head, running her fingers through her hair. "She said her boss took care of my problems here, but I wouldn't be safe until I delivered a message. I didn't want to bring you into anything, but she said something…and now I think I know what she meant."

"Dad?"

"She said…it doesn't have to be difficult. And…and they know the secret you carry. It has to be destroyed." Buffy immediately shot a glance to Spike, who stiffened up. "Buffy, I think she wants your baby dead."

"Yeah," Buffy whispered. "Not just her. The man she works for heads up the Watcher's Council."

"I don't understand…well, a lot, Buffy. But why? Why would they want to harm your baby?" Buffy cleared her throat, and she took a deep breath.

"Dad, before I explain, there's something you need to know about Spike."

***

Faith tossed her half-smoked cigarette onto the ground and stamped it out before continuing on through the graveyard. She'd headed back toward home…or at least her temporary residence at the moment, but she'd decided to go out again and see if there were any late risers in the vampire department.

Sighing, she leaned up against the side of a crypt, and she closed her eyes, listening to the sounds around her. All she could think about was how Dana had been taken over so quickly by Travers. She'd seen what he'd done to her, and the only thing Faith knew was that whatever Dana was doing, it was because she thought it was what was right. Travers had done so much worse than take away her painful memories. He'd brainwashed her; made her into his killing machine. She was a puppet used to do his bidding until he was completely satisfied. He'd never be completely satisfied, not when his miracle drug was working so well. She wouldn't be surprised if he tried to bottle and sell it.

"Faith." Faith spun around to see the figure stepping out of the shadows, coming around the crypt wall. Faith said nothing as she peered at the face of the girl she'd once started to think of as a friend. Dana smiled a little. "Come on, Faith. Aren't you going to say hi to an old friend?" Faith, acting on instinct, reached for her knife boot and sent it soaring through the air. Dana caught it, throwing it back. It clattered against the crypt wall, and Faith caught it before it hit the ground.

"What are you doing here?"

"I followed you, silly. I've been here watching you. I've been watching Buffy, too. Let me tell you, Mr. Travers was pretty surprised to hear about Buffy's little predicament. And let me tell you, he wasn't very happy." Faith felt her mouth go dry. Travers wanted Buffy's baby. And Dana was here to collect.

"What's it any of his business?"

"Spike's a vampire, and he's not supposed to have children. Any good Slayer knows that."

"You're not a Slayer," Faith spat. "Maybe you're walking around in her body, but you're not her."

"I am, Faith. I remember so many things. I remember you were nice to me, even when you didn't want to be."

"I was nice to Dana. Dana had a past. Dana would have known that this is wrong."

"I am Dana, Faith. I keep telling you. You just don't understand. Mr. Travers made me see that the only thing a Slayer can do is keep the world safe from all threats, and that includes the threat of a vampire spawning with a Slayer. Who knows what's coming out of there."

"Buffy's baby's human, Dana. It's innocent."

"It's fathered by a vampire. There's _nothing _innocent about that." Faith shook her head. She honestly couldn't believe she was standing here defending Buffy, but right now, the thought of Dana being controlled by that psychotic Travers was enough to make her do crazy things, including defending Buffy Summers.

"So if you're here to take care of the problem, why haven't you made your move yet?" Dana flinched.

"I'm pacing myself."

"Travers doesn't seem like the kind of man that waits around for the right time, if you know what I mean. B's not due for a long time yet, Dana. If you wanna make your move, why not now? She's…"

"Right now, she's talking to her father. She knows why I'm here. She's going to come after me." Faith's eyes widened. "I really didn't need to track him down, but I figured that throwing one more person into the mix might make her rethink her choice to carry the demon spawn. Maybe it'll make her think twice."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that someday, it might come down to a choice. Her or them."

"You're threatening to kill an innocent person if she doesn't…"

"I'll do what I have to do to keep this world safe. That's what a Slayer does!"

"A Slayer doesn't kill innocent people! You and me? We both know that. We've been through it. Only thing murder gets you is time behind bars. Doesn't make the power go away. Doesn't make the nightmares go away. Just reminds you of everything you did to fuck things up just a little bit more, while the rest of the world goes to hell around you, and you can't do anything about it." Dana stepped closer to Faith.

"Join me, Faith."

"Fuck you."

"Faith," Dana urged, suddenly brining her hand to her forehead. The dizziness obviously caught her off guard, and she found herself leaning into the crypt to keep from swooning. Faith's eyes narrowed. "I…" Dana closed her eyes and after a few moments, they flew open, and she stepped toward Faith. "Faith, please. I'm still your friend. I just see clearly now. What we were doing? The things we were trying to find about Mr. Travers…we were wrong. He wants the baby dead, because if Buffy has it…well, she won't be the kind of Slayer she's supposed to be. Having a half-vampire child?"

"It's human, Dana," Faith reminded her.

"It doesn't matter. It's a mystical pregnancy; one that Buffy never should have had to deal with. She's not thinking clearly. She's pregnant, and that is her child, and she doesn't understand that it could be dangerous."

"Could? You don't know, Dana. He's feeding you this crap so that you won't feel bad about the fact that he's about to make you commit murder." Dana shuddered a little, and she shook her head.

"It's for the greater good."

"Okay, I'm done. You go ahead and try to do what you think you have to. All I can say is that I'd rather Buffy kill you than let you go on letting Travers brainwash you like this. Sorry for what happened to you, Dana. But I don't know how to help you." Faith turned to walk away, and Dana moved after her. She reached out, grabbing Faith's arm.

"It's for your own good, Faith." Faith heard something unzip, and then she saw the needle out of the corner of her eye. Taking a deep breath, Faith closed her eyes and bent forward slightly before snapping her head up, hitting Dana right in the face, knocking her backward to lie in a crumpled heap on the ground.

Faith picked up the needle and glanced at it. Crouching down, she emptied the syringe onto the ground before grabbing the other Slayer and hoisting her up to lean against her shoulder.

"It's for your own good, Dana." She half-carried, half-walked the unconscious, limp form of her sister Slayer across the cemetery and toward Revello Drive.

***

"So…you're…you're telling me that Spike is a vampire, and you're carrying his _human _child because of a…what did you call it….claim? And you're married to him?"

"Yeah," she said softly, squeezing Spike's hand. "I know it doesn't make a lot of sense. But I'm pretty sure it doesn't make much sense to the Council either. The baby's human, but Travers still wants it dead, because under normal circumstances, this baby shouldn't even exist."

Hank Summers scratched his head and blinked a few times, looking at his daughter and his new son-in-law.

"You've…you've been through a lot since you left."

"Yeah, well…so have you, Dad." Buffy cleared her throat. "I thought you…I thought you just didn't want…"

"Buffy, if I thought it was safe, I'd have called. I just didn't want to risk you or Dawn getting hurt. I'm sorry. You must have hated me."

"No," Buffy said quietly. "But it doesn't matter anyway. You're sure you're safe?"

"Yeah, but I don't think I'll be going back to work anytime soon. I think I'd rather start living a more laid back life, you know? Maybe find a place closer to you girls." Buffy's eyes widened.

"Dad, if Dana's coming for me, you need to get away from here. I might send Dawn with you just to get her safe."

"No, Buffy. I'm not walking away. I'm staying until I know you and Dawn are safe." He looked at Buffy's stomach. "And…my grand…"

"Granddaughter," Buffy pointed out. Hank smiled a little.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she whispered, smiling at Spike. He gave her a half-smile and squeezed her shoulder.

"I'll make up the couch for you, Mr. Summers," Spike offered.

"It's ok. I can find a…"

"You're staying here. If Dana's coming back to town, which I'm sure she is, then I want everybody I care about to be where I can protect them." Buffy stood up and turned to Spike. "Where's Faith?"

"Still out patrolling, I think."

"Can you call her cell?"

"I'll try." Buffy nodded, and Spike headed off to make the call. Buffy turned to her father.

"Look," she said gently, "whatever happened in the past…it's done, ok? I've got too much to worry about right now. You coming here to warn me…it means a lot. And if you want to stay, I won't argue with you. I want my family safe, and that means you too, Dad."

At that moment, the sound of Faith's ringing cell phone broke through the room when the front door opened. Spike looked up to see Faith walking in, and he put the phone down and hurried over to help her with the load she was carrying. She handed the unconscious girl over to Spike, who lowered her to the ground. Faith closed the front door and leaned against it, breathing heavily. Looking at Buffy, she half-smiled and with a little shrug, she asked: "Somebody order a brainwashed Slayer?"

* * *

_Hi guys! I had a GREAT vacation, and I'm feeling so much better, health-wise. Please excuse any editing problems in this chapter, unless it's something glaringly awful. I'm still half-asleep from the 10 hour car ride home yesterday. Anyway, PLEASE let me know what you thought of the chapter!_ _ Thanks!_


	64. Come and Get Her

**Chapter 64: Come and Get Her**

At about three in the morning, Buffy woke, having not slept terribly well whatsoever. Spike was sleeping next to her, his hand resting on her stomach. She slowly moved his hand away from her and slipped out of bed. Her heart was hammering in her chest, so it was only a matter of seconds before Spike sat up.

"S'wrong?" he wondered, staring at her as she turned the doorknob.

"Can't sleep."

"Can I do something?"

"It's ok. I'm just gonna go check on Dana."

"Faith's with her."

"I know," Buffy whispered. "I just…I wanna see that everything's ok. I need to check."

"Buffy, don't worry…"

"Go back to sleep, Spike. I'll be back in a minute." Spike watched her leave the room, and he sighed heavily, pulling himself out of bed and slipping into a pair of black sweatpants. He went without his shirt and followed after her down the stairs.

The living room light was on, and he frowned, heading in that direction to see what was going on. Hank Summers was sitting on the couch watching television. Spike ran his fingers through his hair and stepped into sight.

"Is the volume too loud? I can turn it down," Hank offered.

"S'alright. Didn't bother me. Shouldn't you be sleeping or…"

"I couldn't sleep," he admitted. "I'm still trying to process everything Buffy told me tonight."

"Yeah, well, welcome to Sunnydale," Spike muttered. He felt his stomach grumble, and he turned and headed into the kitchen. The basement door was ajar, and he figured Buffy was down there discussing Slayer stuff with Faith. Funny how she'd gone from being practically enemies with the girl to being allies. Then again, the same thing had happened between the both of them, and now they were married and expecting a baby in five months.

Spike pulled his favorite mug out of the cabinet, opened up a tub of pig's blood, and poured himself a nice, big drink. After thirty three seconds in the microwave, his blood was a delicious 98.6 degrees.

When he turned, taking a sip, he saw Hank standing across the counter from him. He jumped a little and put the mug down.

"That's…blood?"

"Yeah?"

"It's…it's not…"

"It's pig's blood, mate," Spike pointed out. "I'm off humans."

"But if you wanted to? You could just…"

"If I wanted to, yeah, but I don't fancy the guilt that comes with biting unwilling victims." He smirked and took another sip.

"Guilt? Vampires feel guilty?"

"Well, if they have a soul, they do."

"You…you have a soul?" Spike shrugged at that. "The way Buffy explained it..."

"I sought out my soul for her. Didn't want her to have to explain her reasons for wanting to be with me. It's easier if she just tells 'em I've got a soul." He shook his head. "She loved me before I had one, though. Don't know why or how, but she did. Your daughter…she's a special one."

"Yeah, she is. Always has been." Hank sat down at one of the stools. "She seems very happy with you. I mean, she wasn't very happy tonight, given the circumstances, but…when you were together in L.A….I could tell you were good for her." Spike seemed surprised at that. "I remember her calling me on the phone, upset about that Angel fella. He wasn't right for her."

"Hate to tell you, mate, but Angel was a vampire too. Had a soul." He scoffed. "'Course, he got cursed with it. Didn't have a choice in the matter." Hank looked dumbfounded.

"Don't get me wrong. Your daughter's dated more than just the undead. Had a pretty-boy army-type bloke for a while, but he just snuffed out the fire in her. Only time I ever saw that spark in her eyes was when she was threatening to kill me." Again, Hank was speechless. "Not to worry. She never came close to making good on that threat. I don't know how many times I threatened her. Just couldn't bring myself to do it. I guess I liked the banter too much."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Don't really know," Spike shrugged. "It's just…I fell in love with her. Don't know exactly when it happened, but I did, and she…well, I think it sickened her. But when her Mum died, she didn't…she didn't have a lot of people to…and there was so much going on that…" Spike cleared his throat. "I just tried to be there for her. Didn't know what I could do. Just wanted to see her smile again. Hell, a few serious threats against my immortality would've been better than the state she was in when Joyce died." Hank looked down.

"I'm glad she has you, Spike. I just hope that this…this fella that's after you doesn't make good on his threats."

"He won't. I won't let him near her. He'd be my exception to the no killing humans rule. Would rip his heart out before he could even touch Buffy." Hank eyed Spike for a moment. Spike took the brief silence to think about this unusual happening. This wasn't the first time he was meeting Buffy's father, but it was the first time that he actually felt like a son-in-law speaking to his father-in-law.

"I'm grateful she has you, Spike. She and Dawn and the baby…they need you."

"Yeah," Spike said quietly, "I don't plan on going anywhere. All that matters is protecting my family. I'll do whatever it takes to do that, even if it means…" His voice trailed off, and he wondered if he could even find it in himself to kill again. Years ago, it had been ritual. Like waking up and brushing your teeth. Only, before the teeth brushing came the biting and tearing and drinking and murdering. But now, the thought of taking a human life, even the life of a worthless power-hungry bloke like Quentin Travers.

The basement door creaked the rest of the way open, and Faith stepped out. Spike and Hank turned toward her.

"Where's Buffy?"

"She said she'd take a turn watching Dana. Told me to get some sleep." Faith rubbed her arms, shivering a little. "Don't think I can sleep though. Won't be able to rest easy until I know those drugs are out of her system." Spike glanced at the bag she had strapped over her shoulder.

Faith placed it on the counter and emptied the contents. There were three vials, which would probably be able three to four weeks of dosages. Spike couldn't help but shiver, realizing that Dana's plan had probably been to get her job done and get out of Sunnydale before then. Thank God Faith had captured her first.

"What should we do with it?" Faith wondered.

"That's the stuff she was gonna put in you?" Spike asked.

"Yeah. I'm guessing it's the same juice she uses for herself."

"If that's what's causing her to go after Buffy, shouldn't' we destroy it?" Hank wondered.

"Maybe," Faith mumbled.

"Or maybe not," Spike commented, an idea forming.

"What's up?" Faith wondered, eyes narrowing.

"The witch," Spike muttered.

"Witch?" Hank asked. "What witch?" Faith ignored Buffy's dad, and a gleam in her eyes accompanied a half-smile.

"Willow was always pretty book smart. Think she might be able to tell us what's in this?"

"Couldn't hurt to ask."

"Alright. We'll call first thing in the morning," Faith said matter-of-factly. "I'll put this someplace safe." Faith headed off with Dana's supplies, and Spike turned to Hank who looked as if somebody had just revealed to his eight year old self that Santa wasn't real.

"What?"

"Buffy's friend Willow's a witch?" Spike couldn't help but chuckle.

"Oh, there are so many things you two have to catch up on. But I think it'd be best to try to get some sleep." Hank nodded, shaking his head that seemed to be spinning.

"You're probably right. Just…you're sure the baby's human?"

"Yeah. She's all girl, like her mum."

"Good," Hank said quietly, shuffling out of the room. "I'm not sure I could handle it if she came out with tentacles or…"

"Worst case scenario?" Spike offered, "she might need a bit of sun and some serious orthodontia when she's older." Hank furrowed his brows, but the realization that his son-in-law had made a small joke occurred to him, and he chuckled softly, shaking his head, wondering if this day could get any stranger.

***

Spike fidgeted with the carousel that had been sent to the house earlier. It wasn't from Hank, so the only thing he could possibly think was that it was a way for Travers to keep tabs on Buffy's pregnancy and on the baby.

"No bloody way," Spike muttered, taking the carousel down the stairs and into the kitchen. He was just about to toss it in the trashcan when a voice from behind him startled him, and he silently cursed to himself. Since when did vampires startle easily?

"What're you doing?"

"Thought I might get rid of this sodding thing. Isn't from your dad, and something tells me it's not from a secret admirer. Plus, doesn't exactly have Angel written all over it. He's more the black funeral shroud and the gloom and doom. Wouldn't be surprised if he sent an insurance policy just in case we…"

"Spike," Buffy yawned. "I'm too tired to listen to you complaining about Angel."

"Haven't filled my quota this month. How about this afternoon then?"

"Fine," she muttered. "You think it's from Travers?"

"Who else?" Spike wondered.

"Well, if that's the case, then he wanted us to have it for a reason." Buffy frowned and took the carousel into her hands. She turned it every which way, trying to figure out what it was about the thing. And by a stroke of luck, the top moved every-so-slightly beneath her hand. Buffy's eyes met Spike's, and he looked up at her with surprise.

Slowly, she turned the top until she was able to remove it. Inside was a series of wires with a very distinctive lens fit into one of the eyes of a carved horse on the carousel.

"What the sodding hell is that?"

"It's a camera. He was going to spy on us."

"Think he can hear?"

"I don't know, but I don't really care. Mr. Travers, I hope you know your little plan failed. Want to see your precious puppet? Well, follow me." She turned around, fitting the lid back on the carousel. She started down the stairs with Spike right behind her.

"Careful, pet. You're starting to sound a lot like me."

"Yeah, well, it's like dogs and their owners. You know? How they say that after so long, they start to look alike?"

"Alright, which one am I in that little comparison, luv? The dog or the owner?" Buffy shushed him and turned on the basement light.

They made it down the stairs, and Buffy placed the carousel directly in front of the cot that Dana was laying on, hands raised up a little, caught in the shackles.

"Come and get her, Travers."

* * *

_I know...short chapter. I'll try to write a little more later. Let me know what you thought! Thanks!_


	65. Waiting Game

Chapter 65: Waiting Game

Clearly, the carousel did not include a microphone, because a few days later, not a peep had come from Quentin Travers. Dana was in and out of consciousness, going through what could only be compared to a sort of detoxification from the drug she had been under the influence of.

Tara and Willow were diligently working in the dining room. Tara was researching, while Willow tried to pick apart the components of the drug Dana had been injecting herself with. Faith and Buffy had taken turns staying with Dana, and right now, it was Faith's turn.

Buffy, Spike, Dawn, and Hank were all settled into the living room. The TV was on, but nobody was paying much attention to it. Spike was sprawled out on the couch with Buffy between his legs. Her hands rested on her belly, and his arms were wrapped around her, his own hands resting atop hers. Dawn and Hank were playing monopoly, and Hank was losing terribly.

The past couple of days had been pretty intense, but after several long talks and a lot of uncrossing of wires, Dawn, Buffy, and their father had started to reconnect, picking up where they'd left off in Los Angeles, before this mess with his business and before everything with Dana and Travers.

"You cheated!" Hank accused, pointing at Dawn.

"What? I did not!"

"You did. You rolled an eight. You only went seven. You're supposed to land on my hotel."

"You need glasses old man," Dawn laughed. When he showed no sign of letting up, she rolled her eyes. "Fine. How about a bribe?" She handed him a golden piece of monopoly money.

"You'll have to do a lot better than that, little girl."

"Uch. Now I remember why I hated playing this with you. You _hate_ losing." Dawn handed him two of the five-hundred-dollar monopoly monies.

"Never figured why people found this game so interesting," Spike commented. "It's a family game, but the way I see it, when money and properties are involved, that only leads to tension and arguing."

"Yeah, well, it's a fun bonding experience," Dawn said through clenched teeth as Hank proudly placed his newly acquired money into his growing pile.

"Case in point," Spike murmured.

"Yeah, well, we all know one person who loves it," Dawn offered. All at once, she, Spike, and Buffy said, "Anya."

"What?" Everyone turned to the foyer, where Anya and Xander were standing with boxes of pizza and liters of soda in their arms.

"Oh, pizza!" Buffy beamed, hopping off the couch and hurrying over to Xander. "Did you get my pepperoni and barbecue?"

"Yep."

"You told them barbecue instead of pizza sauce, right?"

"Yep."

"You're sure? Because you know that makes me…"

"After the last time, I learned my lesson, Buff. It's all yours." He pointed to the box on top, and she took it and headed off for the kitchen. Everybody followed behind her, and within moments, Faith was ducking her head out of the basement.

"Hey, mind if I join?"

"How's Dana?" Buffy queried.

"Still out of it. I'm starving." Buffy shrugged.

"Sure. Why not. It's not like she can get past us if she does wake up, anyway." Buffy moved aside so Faith could step in, and everybody began grabbing at various slices of pizza. Spike lingered in the background, sipping on a mug of blood.

After several minutes of silent chewing, Dawn finally opened her mouth.

"So," she said quietly, "what happens when she gets this stuff out of her system?" Everybody turned to the youngest Summers girl. "I mean, is she gonna remember going to Dad or what she did to you, Faith?"

"I dunno, kid," Faith admitted. "I guess that's something we've gotta wait for. Whatever it was Travers was poisoning her with, he wanted to use it on me. Maybe my memories are pretty scary, but I'd rather have those than not have them and wonder who the hell I am or where I came from." Everyone was silent at that thought. And before too long, everyone was scattering about the house to continue with their previous tasks.

Buffy, however, lingered behind in the kitchen. Faith turned to head to the basement, but Buffy stepped in her way.

"Hey."

"What?" Faith asked quickly.

"Why don't you take a break? I can watch her."

"My shift just started."

"I know," Buffy said quietly. Faith narrowed her eyes.

"Are you being nice to me?"

"Don't get used to it. I wanted to get a little time in with the punching bag anyway."

"Thought you did that this morning."

"Yeah, well, it turns out, pregnancy hormones sometimes don't know how to deal with themselves."

"Something wrong?"

"No," Buffy said with a quiet little laugh. "Just restless."

"Ok," Faith said quietly. "I guess I'll go patrol."

"It's ok, Faith. It can wait. Just…relax. Have fun. Or something." Faith, a little taken off guard, shrugged her shoulder.

"Whatever you say, B." She headed off, and Buffy turned, heading down to the basement. She placed her hands protectively over her burgeoning stomach and made her way over to the cot Dana was passed out on. The young woman's head jerked violently from side to side, sweat beading at her temples.

"Jesus," Buffy muttered, "he really had you pumped with that stuff." She knelt down next to Dana's cot and cocked her head to the side. "Can you hear me?" A soft murmur escaped the girl's lips, but her eyes remained closed tightly. "Dana?" Several moments later, she sighed and stood up, heading over to the punching bag. However, before she could throw the first punch, she felt arms encircle her from behind.

"S'wrong, luv?" Buffy sighed and leaned against him, shaking her head.

"I dunno. I can't stop thinking."

"About what?"

"Anything. Everything." She turned in his arms. "Tell me it's gonna be ok." Spike smiled a little and cocked his head to the side as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind his wife's ear.

"Everything _is_ gonna be ok, pet." Buffy sighed and nodded. "Hey. Look at me." Her eyes met his, and his smile widened a little. "We've got this under control. Dana's gonna be out of this in a day or two. Travers obviously has no idea what we've done, because we've heard nothing. I gotta say, pet. Looks like we're holding all the cards right now." Buffy nodded slowly.

"Yeah. But that doesn't mean it's gonna stay that way. I just…I hate waiting. I want this over. I wanna know the baby's safe. I wanna know my friends are safe. I'm just…I want Travers out of the picture." She looked over at Dana and then slowly turned out of Spike's arms. She looked at the carousel that she'd placed before Dana's cot. Surely Travers had gotten a glimpse of the girl. But why hadn't he come for her? What was he waiting for? "Why isn't he coming?"

"Maybe he's on his way…"

"No. He'd have been here by now if he was. Maybe…"

"Maybe he's playing mind games with you. That drug is gonna work its way out of the girl's system eventually, pet. And when it does, his plan's ruined. The baby's safe."

"Yeah," Buffy said quietly, "and he'll still be there giving orders. I want him out of the Council, Spike. I want him here so I can do it myself."

"You're not talking about killing him?" Buffy swallowed hard. The thought had occurred to her, but she knew she couldn't take a human life. Not even his.

"No," she said quietly. She turned toward Dana again. "But I have half a mind to give him a taste of his own medicine." Spike eyed his wife as she paced before him. "I just want him here."

"He'll come, pet. Sooner or later he'll see we're not letting her go. He'll be here."

"And then what? We slap him around for doing this to us? I want him out of the Council. I want…I don't ever want to have to think about him again."

"Buffy," he said quietly, "what do you think'll happen if he does leave the Council? Nobody's gonna like the fact that you're having my baby. We're gonna have a hell of a battle to fight. They'll all be coming at us…"

"Not with the right person in charge." Buffy began to pace a little faster. "I've gotta talk to Giles." She started up the steps, leaving Spike in a still silence while the detoxifying Slayer in the cot continued to shudder violently and whimper into the dark.

* * *

_Hey guys! Yeah, I realize this was a short chapter. It's been a while, I know. I've been having health problems and have had some troubles since returning from my vacation to see my sister. Anyway, I'm doing better, and I hope to finish this story very soon! :) Thanks for all of your wonderful words and support, and for your patience! Let me know what you think!_


	66. Surveillance

Chapter 66: Surveillance

Barely any sleep was had at the Summers house through the night, and by five a.m., Buffy and Spike were entering the Magic Box through the training room entrance, wanting to make certain to beat the sunrise.

Giles wouldn't be in for a couple of hours, and Buffy, all twitchy and grumpy from a restless night, wanted to get in a good workout before she had a little talk with Giles.

She had called him the night before, explaining to him that she had a plan, and she needed his help. All they needed was to get the equipment they needed and get Travers in the right place at the right time. Luckily, they had their computer-whiz, Willow handy. The only problem was that Quentin Travers was nowhere to be found, and after Giles had made a few phone calls, he'd been told that Mr. Travers was away on business. Unfortunately for the Scoobies, that vacation was most likely not on some exotic beach complete with a fruity drink with a little pink umbrella.

Buffy, clad in a pair of grey jogging pants and a white tank top, tossed the camera-filled carousel onto the nearest bench, wrapped her hands and moved her head from side to side, stretching her neck. She shook her shoulders and her arms and let the tension melt away. But when she turned to start at the punching bag, she noticed Spike tossing off his blazer. He peeled his black T-shirt off and came across to her in his black jeans. She felt her breath hitch in her chest, and she licked her lips.

"You're training too?" she wondered.

"S'been a while since we had a good rough and tumble," Spike murmured.

"Oh please," she laughed. "What about at four o'clock this morning?" She cleared her throat and in her best bad British impression said, "oi! Buffy? As long as we're both awake…"

"Not that kind of rough and tumble, and please, don't try the accent. Doesn't suit you at all." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"So you want to fight?"

"Give it to me good, luv." Buffy noticed his eyes gaze down at her belly for just a second before flickering back up to her eyes.

"Oh, I see. You want to train with me so you can monitor me."

"What?"

"Oh, please. I'm fine, Spike. And Bitty Buffy is too." She smiled a little. "I don't need you hovering or worrying. But…I might need you afterward for a massage. You know…" She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. "For a good cool down…a massage…maybe…" Her words disappeared into his mouth, and he drew her tightly against his body.

His hands grazed up her sides, and despite the fact that she knew she should be focusing her attentions on training and keeping herself in shape for Travers' impending arrival, she couldn't help but lose herself in the feel of Spike's fingertips against her bare skin as he raised her shirt up.

"Stop," she giggled as the pleasurable caresses gave way to tickling flutters along her ribcage. But when his mouth found the hollow of her throat and began to trail along her collarbone, she leaned her head back. "Oh….or…you know…don't stop." She bit her lip and raised her arms up so he could slide the shirt the rest of the way off.

She raised her eyebrows, impressed as he managed to lower the both of them to the mat and remove her bra at the same time. With a little growl, he tossed her bra over his shoulder and immediately sought out her hard, darkened nipples, while Buffy's fingers teased the nape of his neck and began to explore his broad shoulders and his chest.

Spike murmured something against Buffy's chest, and she giggled.

"What?" she asked.

"I said," he murmured, flicking his tongue over her hardened little rosebud of a nipple, "you're spoiling me. Nature. Wonderful, isn't it?" Spike kneaded one of Buffy's soft mounds in one hand, and Buffy glared at him.

"Yeah, well, don't get too comfortable. After this baby's born, they'll probably go back to the tiny little non-breasts they were before you oh-so-magically impregnated me with your cold, dead seed." Spike growled a little and pressed a rough kiss to Buffy's mouth. She bit his bottom lip, and he chuckled against her.

"Love them, big or small, just 'cause they're yours."

"Yeah. And I'm sure you don't ever think about Harmony and her enormous…"

"Let's not bring that airhead into this, luv. Talk like that's just gonna scare away the…" He felt her hand cup against his erection, and he sucked in a sharp breath through his clenched teeth. "Or not, if you keep that up." Buffy grinned again. "Believe me, pet. You're all I think about. Never had it as good as I do with you." Buffy, seemingly satisfied at this, smiled and gave him a playful peck on the lips. "Now, off with your pants."

"Oh, I like that plan," she whispered, wriggling her hips a little, as Spike proceeded to divest her of pants and pull her into a little private, one-on-one cardio training, both completely forgetting about the reason they'd come to the store this morning, the carousel.

***

"What are you…oh my God!" Cordelia Chase's hand flew to her mouth as she walked into the room carrying Connor Chase Angel on one hip. "You…is that…Angel!" Angel quickly shut off his computer monitor and turned to see Cordy standing there with his son.

"Sorry, I…"

"You were watching them?"

"No! I…they just…started," he muttered, his face falling. "I wasn't going to…I just…" He sighed and stood up, reaching out for his son. Cordelia rolled her eyes and handed the baby boy over to his father.

"Ok, I think it's time you called her and let her know. Seems to me like she's getting more than freaked out about it."

"She wasn't supposed to find the camera." Angel rocked a fussy Connor back and forth.

"Yeah, well, good job, genius."

"I don't like you when you're grouchy. You didn't have to keep getting up with him last night, you know."

"Well, if we're going to raise this baby together, I think I do." Cordelia sighed and moved toward the phone. "You know, in retrospect, that carousel was a pretty creepy gift."

"It's not a gift."

"Oh, right," Cordelia mused. "The moment Wesley accidentally spilled the beans about the vampire baby, you had to jump on your white horse and do something about it."

"I didn't…there was no horse. And Buffy doesn't know I know."

"Yeah," Cordelia replied quietly, "but it's a little creepy that you're spying on her. She doesn't know what the hell is going on, and now, she and her _husband_ are having sex in front of the thing. As your girlfriend, I should be a little pissed off about that, but I'm willing to let it slide just this once."

"It's not…I don't feel that way about her anymore. Of course, I wouldn't have picked Spike as the guy she should be with, but…"

"But it's not your business. You need to call her and tell her that this was all part of your stupid issues with Spike, and how you think that nothing that comes from his loins can be anything but evil, despite the fact that our sweet, happy son is also the child of a vampire."

"Ok, I really don't like it when you don't sleep. You get surprisingly insightful."

"Yeah. Well," Cordelia said quietly, "I might have been popular in high school, but that didn't automatically make me an idiot. Angel, if you're really over her, you'll…just…you know, let her go. If their baby turns out to be evil, three-headed, or the bringer of the apocalypse…well, it's their apocalypse to fight now. They're _married_." Connor began to fuss a little more, and Cordelia reached out for him. "I'm gonna give Connor a bath, and then we're going to the park. When we get back, I want this to be taken care of." Angel watched Cordelia walk out of the room with their son.

With a glance back at the blank computer monitor, he turned and left the room, deciding to give Buffy a while to finish up with Spike before he called and admitted his, according to Cordelia, super creepy surveillance for his own peace of mind.

***

Faith woke with a start to the sound of movement from the cot. She sat up quickly from her own cot across the way from Dana's, and to her surprise, she saw a pair of eyes staring back at her with much more lucidity than she'd seen since London.

"Dana?" Faith moved across the basement floor, and she watched as Dana shrunk back in the cot. "Dana, it's Faith. You're in Buffy's basement. We're…" Dana whimpered a little, pulling her arms around her knees, hugging them to herself as her shackles clinked in the darkness.

"Don't hurt me."

"I'm not gonna hurt you, Dana. I…"

"I don't know you. I don't…where am I?" Faith felt a sinking feeling forming in the pit of her stomach, and she sighed heavily.

"Just focus, Dana. Ok? Like I said, I'm Faith. We were in London at the Council."

"Council," Dana murmured. "Mr. Travers."

"That's right. You remember him?"

"No. Not…he's…he's a bad man?" She hugged her knees tighter against her body.

"Right," Faith said quietly. Dana's eyes darted around the dark room, and Faith reached above her, pulling a chain that led to a light bulb, illuminating the room a little more. It was then that Dana caught sight of a little bag hanging on a hook.

"Needles," she cried. "No! Please don't…" Faith held her hands up.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I'm trying to help." Dana was shaking uncontrollably, and Faith stepped a little closer.

"No!" Dana screamed. Faith paused.

"I'm not gonna hurt you. I just…I wanna talk." Dana tried to move from the cot, but the shackles held her back.

"Please," Dana murmured. "Please. Please…" Faith took another step closer, but the girl cried out, as if she were truly afraid for her life. Footsteps echoed down the stairs as Hank and Dawn came rushing down to see what the commotion was all about. "Get away from me!"

"Go back upstairs!" Faith ordered. Hank and Dawn stood close behind Faith now.

"Is she ok?" Hank wondered.

"Go upstairs. Dawn!" Dawn tugged on her father's arm, but the moment Faith's focus had shifted to the youngest Summers girl, Dana had found her strength again, and as wildly as a cornered animal, she thrust forward, her Slayer strength helping pull the shackles at her will. The chain came loose from its plate on the wall, and she fell forward onto her stomach. Faith started toward her, but the girl was already up and pushing past her, sending her flying into the side of the stackable washer and drier, leaving a sizeable dent that she figured Buffy would kill her for later. But right now, what mattered was containing the wild Slayer and hopefully preventing her from getting into any trouble in the meantime.

"Faith!" Dawn exclaimed, hurrying over to help the Slayer up. "Are you…"

"She's getting away!" Faith brushed past Dawn and followed Dana Mullens out of the Summers' home and down the street in full pursuit.


	67. Explanations

Chapter 67: Explanations

"Where's my bra?" Buffy asked, hopping about the mat as she pulled her pants up over her hips. Spike couldn't help but feel a stirring in his trousers at the sight of Buffy's pert breasts bouncing about as she searched for her bra.

"Dunno."

"You threw it over your shoulder, and…aha!" She found it draped over the Pomell horse. After she quickly retrieved it and fastened it, she pulled her shirt on. Spike lay there, arms folded behind his head, clad only in his pants. "Come on. Finish getting dressed."

"Rupert won't be here for another hour, luv."

"I know," she blushed, "but…"

"But what?" He stood now and crossed the gap between them, pulling her against him.

"I just got dressed," she giggled.

"That's what clothes were made for…taking off…"

"I think that's pretty wrong," she laughed, as his lips brushed against her pulse. "Oh, maybe not." His arm snaked around her body, pulling her in closer. But just as his lips met hers, she let out a little yelp of surprise. "Oh!"

"What?"

"Did you feel that?"

"Feel what?"

"She kicked!"

"She…"

"The baby kicked!" She pulled back from Spike and placed both of her hands on her stomach. She jumped in surprise again when she felt the fluttering inside of her. "There it was again! Oh my God!" Spike's eyes were wide with curiosity, and he placed his hand on Buffy's stomach. She moved it to where she'd felt the movements herself, and when she looked up at him expectantly, he realized the baby must have kicked again.

"I don't feel it," he said a bit glumly. Buffy frowned.

"Well, the baby books say it could be a while. But I felt her. Oh wow. It was…I can't even…I've never felt anything like that before." She bit her lower lip and grinned down at her small but evident belly.

"Maybe she's got her mum's strength."

"Let's face it. She's gonna be pretty strong. With the blood running in her veins…"

"Ah, I think you forget, pet. She's got William the Bloody Awful Poet's blood running through her veins. For all we know, she could be a super strong nerd with absolutely no social skills." Buffy frowned.

"I don't think so," she laughed. She felt the little flutters, almost like nervous butterflies, once again. "This is so…wow. I can't wait until you can feel her, Spike. It's like she's telling me she's really here. That she's ok." Spike beamed down at his wife.

"Look at you. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, excited about a few gurglies in the stomach." He was teasing, but she knew he was just as giddy about it as she was.

"Shut up," she laughed. "I'm happy."

"Me too, pet. Maybe more than I should be." Buffy wrapped her arms around him and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him softly. She pulled back a little and cocked her head to the side.

"I like it when you're happy."

"Yeah?"

"Yep."

"Good," he murmured. "'Cause that's all I'll ever be when I'm with you." Buffy grinned, and Spike rolled his eyes. "Sorry, luv. The bad poetry is gonna keep coming. It tends to happen without…" But she cut him off with a kiss. After she pulled back, he shrugged his shoulders.

"Like the poetry talk, do you, luv?"

"Maybe a little."

"Oh, I've got a million poems, luv." She smiled a little and pulled away.

"Good. I'll remember that." She giggled and scooted away and made her way into the main part of the store. She turned the lights on and looked around the place.

After Spike finished dressing, he joined her.

"You know, Rupert really needs to think about tightening security. Maybe in an ordinary town, nobody would care about the piddily earnings of a magic shop keeper, but on the Hellmouth?"

"Yeah, it was pretty easy to get in here." Buffy shrugged.

"You know Giles. He's probably got the place protected from unwanted 'guests' during off hours." Spike rolled his eyes.

"If that were the case, pet, I wouldn't be standing here would I?"

"Oh, shush," she insisted. "As long as you're my husband, you're always wanted around here."

"By Rupert?"

"Well, I don't know about him, but as long as I'm here, I want you around." She beamed at him.

"You know, I'm gonna have to start writing these down."

"What?"

"See, I've got a theory," he pointed out, hopping up to sit on the counter, spreading his legs a little as Buffy stepped between them and placed her hands on his thighs.

"A theory, hmm?" She kissed his neck.

"Careful, luv," he moaned, waiting for her to pull back a little. With a little pout on her lips, she finally stepped back about a half centimeter. "See, my theory is that this pregnancy is making you all sweet and snuggly when it comes to 'ole Spike." Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"You're kidding me, right? Have you forgotten about me locking you and Xander up together in the cabin? Or the other day when I threw something at your head."

"It was a shirt. Hardly worth mentioning, pet." Buffy rolled her eyes again.

"I'm nice when I wanna be. But who says things are gonna change when the baby comes? Sure, we'll have an extra, albeit tiny person around who's probably, if she takes after her daddy, going to want her mother's attention twenty-four-seven, but other than that…"

"Hope she doesn't mind sharing," Spike pointed out, leaning in to kiss her softly. Just as Buffy was about to say something, the phone rang, and they both groaned in unison. "Who the bloody hell is calling before store hours?" Buffy rolled her eyes and shrugged, but she walked over to pick up the phone.

"Magic Box."

"Buffy?" Buffy's breath caught in her throat. Spike eyed his wife and slid off of the counter. "Is this Buffy?"

"Yeah," she said quietly. "I…Angel?" Spike tensed, and Buffy held a hand up to warn him not to say a word. "What…"

"This is…I don't know how to say what I'm about to say, so I'll just…ok, here goes." Buffy scrunched her brows together, giving Spike a confused look. He stepped over close to her. "I sent you the carousel."

"What?" Buffy asked, eyes widening. "What the hell were you…"

"Buffy, listen to me, ok? Wesley accidentally let it slip that you were pregnant…with Spike's baby." Buffy closed her eyes, and Spike made a mental note to add Wesley to his list of people he would be tempted to bite if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't do that anymore.

"Okay," Buffy said through gritted teeth. "So you thought you'd send me a creepy camera disguised as a gesture of congratulations? Hmm, no, that's not it, seeing as you didn't give any indication that you sent it. What the Hell is this, Angel?" She then remembered the carousel sitting in the training room, and she let out a groan. "Oh my God. You saw…"

"No, I didn't. I just…Cordelia came in and thought it was time to…look, Buffy, I'm worried about you, ok?"

"Well, don't be worried. Though you might want to warn Wesley that the next time I see him, he might want to turn and run the other way."

_That's my girl_, Spike said with an inward smile.

"Look, when I found out you were pregnant, I made Wesley tell me everything he knew."

"And you thought that you'd spy on my baby? Make sure it wasn't evil? Well, it's not. He told you it's human, right?"

"Yeah, but…"

"No buts. You had _no_ right! I'm _married_, Angel."

"I know. Cordy found out through some friends you went to high school with."

"Cordy," Buffy said slowly. "Oh…wow."

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm just surprised. I didn't think…"

"Buffy." Spike cocked his head to the side, wondering why his wife was suddenly concerned about who her ex was or was not shagging.

"No. I just…"

"There's a lot you don't know."

"Well, I thought there was a lot _you_ didn't know, but it turns out you've been spying on me."

"I just wanted to know that you were safe."

"I am safe. Spike and I are married, and we're happy, and we're doing everything we can to keep this baby safe. Everything's fine. The baby's not evil. Ok?"

"I'm not convinced. Maybe you're not thinking…"

"Oh, I might be pregnant and emotional, but I'm thinking pretty straight. Believe me. I thought a _lot_ about this, ok? I'm getting rid of the camera."

"I was going to tell you to. I didn't want you to get the wrong idea."

"Oh, you have no idea what idea I was getting." She took a deep breath. "Seriously? A camera? That's beyond…I don't even know. They make scary movies about this kind of stuff, Angel!"

"They make scary movies about your husband too, remember?" Buffy sighed.

"Ok, I'm not doing this. I appreciate that you were concerned, but to send a camera to me…to spy on me without even…you could have called! Ever heard of that? 'Hey, Buffy. Wesley told me you're pregnant. Congratulations. Oh, by the way, is your baby evil by any chance?" See? How hard is that?

"Buffy, I didn't…I'm sorry, ok?"

"Yeah, well, you should be. And by the way? Cordelia? How did that…"

"It's a long story."

"Yeah, well, I've got time." Spike rolled his eyes and moved back to the counter to pretend not to care but listen intently anyway. "I mean, she knows about the curse. She witnessed Angelus first hand. So…" There was an awkward silence between them, and finally, she heard him let out a slow breath.

"Perfect happiness doesn't come with sex, unless it's with…" Buffy felt her stomach twist into knots. "I care about Cordy. I love her. I just…she knows…she accepts what I can give her, and what I can't. She loves me anyway."

"Oh," she said softly, trying to sort out the fact that her ex had just told her he was having sex with Cordelia, because his perfect happiness couldn't be achieved with her, thought apparently, they were still working together as a couple. "Well, I guess you don't want to write that in your wedding vows."

"Who said anything about wedding vows?" he wondered.

"Hey, vampires can get married now, you know? Spike and I are legal. Maybe you and Cordelia…"

"Maybe," he chuckled. Buffy glanced at Spike, who was watching her from the corner of his eye. He looked away, and she couldn't help but smile.

"Just…don't send me anymore weird gifts. I think it's best from now on if we…you know, only contact each other on a professional level. If I ever need you for an apocalypse, I'll contact you."

"For parenting tips? Maybe just talk to Cordy." Buffy's eyes widened.

"What?"

"Yeah," he said quietly.

"Cordelia's pregnant?"

"No," he said slowly. "I, uh…I have a son." Buffy felt floored, and she sat down slowly. "His name's Connor."

"Oh…oh my God. I didn't…"

"I know. I didn't want you to know."

"That little weasel."

"What?"

"Wesley! That whole time I was making him promise not to tell you about me being pregnant, and he couldn't let it slip that you had a kid?! But of course, he'll tell you that I'm…"

"Buffy."

"Sorry."

"His name's Connor. Darla…well, she got pregnant, and…"

"Darla?!" Buffy yelped.

"I told you it was a long story. Look, do you want to hear it all or…"

"No. God, no."

"Ok. Well, she's dead. Again. Cordy's helping me raise Connor."

"Oh." Buffy thought for a moment and then cleared her throat. "So, you were worried that a half-human, half-vampire baby would mean the end of the world, but a baby born to two…count them, _two_ vampires doesn't scare you at all?"

"I was terrified. But…I found out he was human. I saw his heart beating on that screen, and…"

"So because he's your son, you took it at face value that he was good. But you can't believe that _my_ baby is good too? Want me to send you the sonogram video so you can see the heartbeat for yourself?"

"Buffy, I'm really sorry."

"Yeah, you said that." She sighed heavily. "Look, Angel, I don't need you to look out for me anymore." She glanced over at Spike, and she practically saw him swell with happiness. "I'm not the girl you used to know. I've been through…well, I've been through a hell of a lot."

"I…I know."

"No. You don't know. That's just it. You left, Angel. You left, and that was the end of it. I've moved on, ok? I don't need you rushing in trying to help, because I've got Spike now, and he's all the help I need."

The conversation went on for several more minutes, but Spike didn't seem to hear any of it after that. All he could do was stare at her in amazement. They'd come a long way. She was actually ending things on a personal level with the one man that Spike had always carried some sort of jealousy toward when it came to Buffy. Angel had been there for Buffy during the hard times of her younger years, until he left her crushed and alone and scampered off to Los Angeles. Of course, Buffy had been a mere girl then. Now, she was a woman, and Spike felt honored to know that he had been the man she'd needed him to be just when she'd needed him the most.

When Buffy finally hung up, she turned to Spike and eyed him, waiting. He cleared his throat and gazed at her.

"What?"

"Go on."

"Go on what?"

"Get it all out of your system. I can practically hear the Captain Boring or Captain Forehead comments floating around in your brain."

"Not saying anything."

"Oh come on."

"Can't believe the things you said to him."

"Well, they're true. If you don't believe them now, after everything we've been through, I think we have a serious problem."

"You know what I mean, pet," Spike said softly, crossing the room again and taking her hands in hers. "S'just hard to understand sometimes." Buffy shrugged her shoulders and snuggled up against his chest.

"Yeah, I know." She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.

"So what's this I hear about Angel having spawn of his own?" Buffy mumbled something before looking up into Spike's eyes.

"Yeah. _Darla_ gave birth to Angel's son. I guess she gave birth. I didn't want the details."

"Bloody hell," Spike murmured.

"Yeah. So apparently Wesley knew a little more about mystical pregnancies than I thought. He just didn't know how to keep his mouth shut when it came to discussing our case with Angel. I think I can sue for that."

"No matter," Spike assured her. "S'over, right?"

"Yeah. At least we know who sent the carousel. But the big problem that remains? Where the hell is Quentin Travers, and why is he taking so long to make his move?"

"Hey, B?!" Buffy and Spike swirled around to see Faith rushing into the shop through the training room.

"Faith? What…"

"It's Dana. She's gone. I tracked her as far as I could, but she's gone." Buffy's jaw dropped slightly.

"How did…"

"Looks like Miss Detox isn't so coma-ish anymore."

"Great," Buffy murmured.

"And, she's having a little trouble. For instance, she didn't really seem to know who the hell I was, but she remembered Travers."

"Perfect," Buffy said quietly, moving toward the door.

"Buffy," Faith called out. Buffy turned. "She knows Travers is dangerous. Something tells me she doesn't trust anybody right now." Buffy nodded.

"You coming with?"

"Yeah, why not. Two Slayers against one psychotic is better than one, right?" Buffy glanced at Spike.

"You'll stay until Giles gets back? Let him know what happened?"

"Nowhere else to go, pet," he explained, pointing to the window where early rays of sunshine were seeping in.

"Right," she recalled. "Ok. We'll be back soon." With that, Buffy and Faith left the Magic Box in search of Dana.

* * *

_Still trying to get back into the swing of things. Please let me know what you thought of the chapter!_


	68. Keeping Shop

Chapter 68: Keeping Shop

"And you haven't heard from them since?"

"I tried Buffy's cell, but she's not picking up," Spike explained, trying to mask the anxiety in his voice. Giles removed his glasses, cleaned them, and put them back on. "Look, Rupert, I can man the store if you want to go help them."

"You don't know anything about business, Spike," Giles muttered, pacing behind the counter.

"How hard is it to sell some magic junk to a bunch of wannabe Wiccans? C'mon. Anya'll be in soon, yeah?"

"Not for another hour."

"I think I can deal with the store for an hour."

"You're offering to help me?"

"When my pregnant wife is out there looking for a crazed Slayer, yeah, I am. Go on, Rupert. I'll watch out for shoplifters, and I won't nick anything myself. Scout's honor."

"You were never a Scout. Scouts weren't even around when you were born." At Spike's eye roll, Giles decided that he'd feel better if he went after Faith and Buffy. Waiting around just didn't feel right when the hunted was a Slayer, and one of the hunters was pregnant and being hunted herself.

"Fine. But if you break _anything_, that money's coming right out of your pocket."

"Go on, Rupert. I'll be fine." Spike stood up straight, ran his fingers through his hair and moved to stand behind the counter like a proper store keeper. Giles eyed him warily, but soon, he was leaving the shop, saying a silent prayer to whomever that his livelihood would not be in ruins by the time he returned.

***

"What is that?"

"What's what?" Dawn asked, stepping off the foot of the stairs.

"That's outfit."

"It's Buffy's, Dad," Dawn said slowly. "She hates it when I borrow her clothes, but c'mon, she won't be home before I get home from school. It's no big."

"It is a big deal!" Hank pointed out. "You're fifteen." Dawn rolled her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"That's not…appropriate for school."

"Dad. Really? We're gonna do this."

"I know what teenaged boys are like, and…"

"Dad, so do I. I'm dating one." The blood slowly drained from Hank Summers' face. "Though I'm pretty sure he comes over here to oogle Buffy. Ever since the trip to L.A. he's totally into her." Dawn made a face.

"Oh."

"Don't worry. I'm gonna break up with him."

"And then you'll be ripe for the picking. All those grubby hands will be all over you like…"

"Dad. This isn't some really bad teen movie. It's my life. I've _never_ had grubby boy hands all over me. Well, until Jake, that is." Her eyes widened at her own words. "I mean…" Hank held his hands up.

"I don't wanna hear it. Just…please."

"Ok," Dawn shrugged.

"Will you please go change? You look beautiful, but…if you wear it, I'll be forced to tell your sister about your borrowing her clothes."

"Dad! This sucks."

"You're not leaving the house like that, young lady."

"Don't young lady me. That's so not cool."

"Dawn."

"Oh, fine. But you have to drive me to school, because I'm so going to be late now."

"Fine. Just…go change. Please. I'd rather you not kill your father with a heart attack. I'm still pretty young, you know."

"Yeah, but you gotta face it, Dad. I'm not a kid anymore. Just…try not to be too surprised, ok?" Hank muttered something under his breath but shuffled off to the kitchen to make him and Dawn breakfast sandwiches to take on the way to the school. Dawn headed back up the stairs and into her room to change.

As Hank stepped into the kitchen, he noticed the back door cracked open just slightly. Furrowing his brows, he moved to close it, thinking perhaps Faith hadn't closed it on her way out to find Dana this morning. But, as soon as his hand touched the doorknob, he noticed a reflection in the glass. Someone was standing behind him.

He turned slowly to face an older man who looked neither violent nor unpleasant. But considering the man was in the house without invitation, there had to be some unkind reason for his presence.

"Who…"

"I think you're aware of who I am, Mr. Summers. But if you need some clarification, I am Quentin Travers." Hank froze in his place. "I'm sure your daughter has informed you of my intentions."

"Of your intentions? You mean to kill my grandchild? Yeah, I think your intentions are pretty clear."

"Mr. Summers. I'm sure your daughter has told you about her…"

"I know about her being the Slayer. I know the baby she's carrying isn't supposed to exist. I _also_ know that it's got a heartbeat, and it's a girl, and I know that anything my daughter could ever give birth to couldn't possibly be anything awful."

"The fact that the child exists…"

"I know."

"It's an abomination."

"It's a baby. A _human_ baby. Maybe I don't know much about demons or…or vampires. But I know that my daughter is a bright young woman, and she wouldn't let anything come into this world if she thought it would be a danger to anybody. The baby's nothing more than human, Mr. Travers."

"Nothing born to a Slayer and a Vampire is 'nothing more than human,' Mr. Summers. The child must be destroyed."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because this is your daughter's last warning. The next time I come here, I will not be alone. She and the vampire have played happy family long enough. This stops tomorrow night."

***

"Dad? School's the other way."

"You're not going to school today."

"What?! Not that I'm complaining, but…"

"Mr. Travers paid me a little visit this morning."

"What?! He was…"

"He got into the house. When you were upstairs changing, he confronted me in the kitchen." Dawn's jaw dropped.

"Buffy's gonna be so pissed. What'd he say?"

"He pretty much said he's sick of waiting around for Buffy to do the 'right' thing according to him. He says it stops tomorrow night."

"What does?" At Hank's glance, Dawn's face paled.

"Oh my God. So…"

"So I called the school and told them you're sick. Until Travers is out of town, I want to know my kids are safe. You got that?"

"Fine with me," Dawn said with a shrug. "Didn't want to take that history test anyway. I don't think you have to worry, Dad. Buffy's pretty good at keeping everybody safe."

"Yeah, but she's got the baby to worry about. One moment's hesitation, and…" Dawn flinched when her father tightened his hands on the steering wheel. "Maybe I can't do much against the…dark forces or whatever. But I'm still your father, and I'm going to do what I can to protect you and Buffy."

"It's ok, Dad. Really. Buffy's gonna get this figured out. Travers is going down. You'll see." Despite his daughter's assurances, Hank Summers pressed a little harder on the gas.

***

"Whoa. B, are you ok?" Faith wondered, helping Buffy up from the floor of the seventh crypt they'd checked that morning. Buffy groaned and dusted her hands off on the sides of her pants.

"Yeah. I'm ok. Just lost my balance. Apparently even Slayers get clumsy when they're pregnant."

"I'll keep that in mind." Buffy eyed Faith.

"What? Are you making plans?"

"Me? No. But you know, accidents happen." Buffy raised an eyebrow. "What? C'mon, you can't tell me this was planned. I mean, vampires are supposed to be shooting blanks, you know."

"Yeah, well, it was a welcome accident," Buffy pointed out. "I mean, sure, we were freaked at first. But when we found out our baby wouldn't be coming out breathing fire or biting its way through my uterus, we chilled a little. It's exciting. And scary."

"Still. Kids? I don't think I have the patience. Hell. Being a Slayer doesn't exactly give me time to do the mommy thing anyway. Good thing you've got the Scoobies, B. I mean, have you thought about how much time you're gonna be away from your kid?" Buffy frowned.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "But it'll work out, you know? I work at night, mostly. Spike can take care of the baby while I'm patrolling, and…"

"And what if you get hurt?"

"What are you doing?" Buffy wondered. Faith shrugged.

"I dunno. I guess I'm just trying to get used to the fact that you've made it long enough to get knocked up, what with those fighting skills." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Ha. Ha. Thanks, Faith." Buffy rubbed her rounding tummy. "I never thought I'd be a mom. Before I was called, I didn't even really think about kids that much. I mean, I was young. I was interested in boys and hanging out with my friends. I didn't have time to think about the future before I started dusting vamps. Then I came to Sunnydale and realized that my destiny was to die protecting the world. Well, that doesn't exactly make one think about fat grand children."

Buffy and Faith exited the crypt and squinted into the bright light of the morning.

"Ok, where to next?" Faith wondered, looking around. "Sewers?"

"Maybe not," Buffy murmured, catching a glimpse of someone running right toward them. That someone was her Watcher. "Giles?!" Giles, breathing heavily, made his way over to the two Slayers.

"Thank God. There you are."

"Giles?"

"What are you thinking going after Dana?" Buffy realized he was only talking to her.

"Um, I was thinking that I was doing my job. What…"

"Dana is very dangerous."

"Giles, she's not trying to kill me."

"No, but she's very strong…"

"And confused," Faith added.

"And you shouldn't be going after her like this. Fighting demons is one thing. You have an advantage. But Dana is almost as strong, and she's unpredictable." Buffy looked down at her stomach.

"I know what I'm doing, Giles."

"Yes, I know you do." Buffy sighed heavily.

"You know, I'm doing fine being a Slayer and being pregnant. I don't need…"

"You need to take care of yourself, first and foremost. Faith and I will look for Dana. I need you to go back to the Magic Box and make sure Spike hasn't run my business into the ground."

"You're serious?"

"I'm very serious, Buffy. With Quentin Travers God knows where, I think it'd be best if you and Faith split up. And you'll only hear me say this once: I'd prefer it if you were with Spike right now. He's just as strong as you are, and he has the advantage of having his own weapons ready at a moment's notice." Giles pointed at his own face, letting Buffy know he meant that Spike would kill to protect her without hesitation, something she already knew.

"Fine. I'll go." Without another word, she turned and stormed off toward the Magic Box. It wasn't that she was angry at Giles, per se. It was that she was upset that she was being treated like this just because she was pregnant. Yes, she needed to be careful. She knew that. But that didn't mean she was going to break like an old man's hip the moment she came into contact with an opponent either.

Stuffing her hands in her pockets, she made her way across town, hoping that seeing Spike would bring her out of her foul mood.

***

"You don't have any newt eyes?" the young man asked as he skimmed the shelves at the Magic Box. Spike groaned, wondering when this guy was going to get the hell out already. He'd been browsing the shelves for the past half hour, asking questions that Spike had no idea how to answer.

"Sorry. All out." Actually, there was a fresh shipment of them down in the basement, but he didn't have to know that. Besides, if he were to disappear downstairs for only a minute, the guy could run off with something. That would just be bad shop keeping, Spike had convinced himself.

"Well, that's alright. I'll just take this monkey's paw."

"Pfft. Amateur," Spike muttered under his breath, as the guy carried his purchase across the room.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing," Spike replied. "Four fifty, mate." The guy handed him a five. Spike gave him his change. "Thanks. Come again." The man nodded and headed off to do only God knew what with that poorly preserved charm. And when the door opened again, he groaned outwardly. "Now what?"

"Hey Spike," Dawn said, as she made her way into the store with her father right behind her.

"Oh. Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"Nope. I'm sick. Cough, cough." Spike raised an eyebrow and glanced at Hank.

"Why isn't she in school?"

"Because I pulled her out for the day. Maybe longer. There's trouble." His voice was shaky, and Spike immediately felt a lump in his throat.

"Is it Buffy? Is she…"

"Quentin Travers paid me a visit this morning." Spike immediately clenched his fists at his side.

"Bloody hell. What'd he say?" Hank looked at Dawn who nodded toward him.

"Well…you might want to sit down. You're not gonna like this one bit."

* * *

_Story's almost over...please let me know what you thought!_


	69. Sleepless

Chapter 69: Sleepless

Spike woke around three in the morning to find the bed empty on his wife's side. He blinked a few times, peering through the darkness to see Buffy's pregnant form bathed in moonlight by the window.

"Come back to bed, luv," he murmured, voice gravely and strangled from exhaustion.

"Can't sleep," she murmured, cradling her belly in her arms. "Not with what's coming. Not with…"

Spike pulled himself from the bed and padded across the room to place his hands on her shoulders.

"S'gonna be alright, pet. Travers is coming, and we're going to stop him."

"But Dana's still out there. She's confused. She could hurt someone." She looked away. "I should have helped her."

"You tried, luv."

"I didn't do enough. They captured her, shot her full of that stuff. Willow still isn't really sure how it all works. I just…I shouldn't let her go back to the Council."

"Had a lot on your mind, luv. It's not your fault they got her."

"She won't be the same again."

"Maybe not," Spike said quietly. "But you can't save everyone." Buffy pulled away from Spike.

"Dana's not just anyone, Spike. She's a Slayer. Now she's a confused Slayer with no clue as to who she can trust and who she can't. She blew past Faith like…"

"Hey," Spike assured her, bringing her back into his hold. "Don't worry, luv. Whatever happens, I'm not gonna let her hurt you or our baby." Buffy started to speak, but he cut her off. "Before you go on about how you don't need protecting, I don't want to hear it, pet. Not right now. You're the target, and that means I'm gonna do whatever the bloody hell I have to to keep you safe. I know you'll be doing your own part, but you have to trust me when I say that I'll never let her harm you or our baby. I'll kill her first."

"Spike…"

"I know. Won't be happy about it," he murmured. "But if I have to kill to save you? To save our family?"

"I won't let you kill her, Spike," Buffy whispered. "You don't need that on your conscience."

"And you do? Nobody's gonna kill her, ok? Travers might, but he's…"

"He's the one we're gonna have to kill." Buffy searched his eyes in the moonlight, and she saw his jaw tense. He shook his head.

"You're not gonna do it. You haven't taken a human life, and I won't…"

"You won't let me?"

"I've done it before."

"But you have a soul now."

"And so do you," he murmured, gently cupping her cheek in his hand. "And I won't let you carry the weight of that on your shoulders. You're a Slayer. You kill demons, vampires, evil things. But not humans. Not even evil ones."

"It's scary," Buffy murmured, moving to sit down on the bed. She placed her hands on her stomach, and Spike slowly sat down next to her.

"What's that, pet?"

"This feeling. It's…I know it's wrong, Spike, to kill humans. It's something I've prevented demons from doing for years. But the thought of someone hurting our family?" She shook her head and looked down. "I'd throw it all away just to keep her safe." Spike swallowed hard and nodded his head, placing his hand over hers.

"I know what you mean, luv."

***

An hour later, Buffy was finally asleep. Spike knew she wasn't sleeping well, but she was sleeping, and that was enough for now.

His own nerves were getting to him, however, and he decided to go outside from some fresh air.

When he snuck past the living room, where Mr. Summers was sleeping on the couch, he opened the front door and was surprised to find Faith sitting on the porch step with a cigarette in one hand and a stake in the other.

"Fancy meeting you here," he murmured. Faith didn't look over her shoulder.

"Couldn't exactly sleep tonight. Knowing there's a crazed Slayer out there that's not me? Kind of new territory for me."

"Yeah," Spike muttered. He sat down next to Faith on the step. He glanced at her, and she glanced at him.

"What?"

"Nothing." He looked at her cigarette and then out at the street.

"Want one?"

"Buffy wants me to quit. I've been good. Not too good, but I've cut back."

"Yeah, well, a crazy old man is coming after your wife and child. I think it's safe to say she'd forgive you for one tiny smoke, considering you're scared shitless."

"Who says I'm scared?"

"I'm a Slayer, Spike. I know when vampires are afraid." She looked away and pulled a cigarette out of her jacket pocket. She lit it and handed it to him. "Go on. I won't tell."

Spike took the offering and took a long drag. When he exhaled, he closed his eyes and hung his head, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

"Buffy thinks she might have to kill Dana."

"What?" Faith glanced at him sharply. "Why?"

"If Dana decides she can't trust us. If she tries to go along with the council."

"No," Faith said quietly. "B. isn't a murderer. Long time ago, maybe I woulda liked the idea of her loosening up her morals a bit, but no, I don't think she could do it. Sure, she's got what it takes, but she shouldn't have to go there." Faith took a drag on her cigarette. "If it comes down to it, I'll do it."

"Why you?"

"I'm already a killer, Spike. Except this time, I'd be killing for the right reasons. Whatever those are." She looked away and shivered a little.

"Cold?"

"Nah. Restless. I'm gonna go out for a quick patrol."

"At this time of morning?"

"Why not? Might tire me out." She frowned, stood up, and then she was off. Spike sighed and focused on finishing his cigarette. His last one for a long while, he expected.

Just as he was standing to go back in, he heard the scraping of boots on the pavement. Looking up, expecting to see Faith coming back, he murmured, "forget something?"

"Heart...and head. Stab the heart, cut off the head. Only way to be sure. Keep cutting 'til you see dust." Spike's eyes widened at the site of Dana coming up the sidewalk. Stake in one hand, crossbow in the other.

"Dana? Dana, you…you don't remember me?"

"William the Bloody."

"Yeah…uh, well, no. Not anymore. Spike. Buffy's husband. You know. Vampire with a soul and all that?"

"Vampire," she murmured.

"You're a little confused, luv. Just a little…" Dana lunged at him, and he ducked out of her way, "out of focus!"

"They all want to hurt me. Stick me with needles."

"I don't want to hurt you, Dana," Spike murmured, moving down the sidewalk, away from the Slayer.

"Evil. Vampire!"

"Yes. Yes, I'm a vampire, but…"

"The eyes. Yellow eyes. Yours are blue."

"Dana, slow down." Dana was advancing on him. She lived her crossbow and shot the arrow, narrowly missing his shoulder. "Alright, apparently, using our words isn't going to cut it this time." He lunged at her, kicking the crossbow from her hand and pinning her down onto the ground. She swung her other arm at him, but he grabbed her wrist before she could stake him.

"Show me yellow eyes."

"You're close to brining them out, luv. Keep pushing my buttons, and you'll wish you hadn't." Dana kneed him in the gut, and he groaned, moving off of her. She struggled to stand, and he came at her again. But she jumped up, kicking him hard in the head, sending him spinning back.

Spike landed, dazed, on his back, and before he had a chance to blink, Dana was kicking him in the face. He groaned in pain, as her other boot collided with his ribcage. He heard a couple of cracks, and he felt blood trickling out of his mouth.

"What's wrong, pet? That all you've got?" he managed to smirk, as blood rushed from his nose and into the grass.

"Show me!" she screamed! Spike growled and stood slowly, partly hunched over, grabbing his side. But his face shifted, and those yellow eyes glared at the Slayer. The demon inside him tasted the blood that now filled his mouth, and he found it harder and harder to maintain control.

She came at him again, stake ripping through the air, and he knocked her back. But she bounced back in an instant, pinning him against the tree in the yard.

"You don't wanna do that, Dana," Spike growled through sharp, gritted teeth.

"I'm a Slayer. I kill your kind."

"And I bite yours," he pointed out. "Doesn't mean I want to bite you." He thought for a moment, tightening his grip on her wrist to keep her from slamming the sharp piece of wood through his heart. "The harder you push, the more I think about it though. I'm not your enemy."

"Yes," he panted, shoving the stake into his chest, "you are." Spike screamed out, but when he didn't turn to dust, he looked down to see the stake coated with blood sticking out of his chest. She'd narrowly missed his heart. Not only was she a bad shot, but she was a bad stake too.

Dana's eyes widened with surprise when she watched Spike's face turn back to human, and he slumped over, toppling to the ground. She started to reach down to finish the job, but before she could move, she felt a fist connecting with her face, and she went flying back against the tree. She hit her head, and everything grew black.

Spike watched, dazed, as the Slayer lay still on the ground. Then he felt gentle hands turning him over, and he looked up into big, green eyes that were filled with tears.

"Oh God," she cried. "I thought…I saw…and I couldn't get here…I was running so fast," she cried. "Oh God."

"S'alright, luv," he whispered, as her hand closed around the stake. "Looks like she's off her game tonight."

"What the hell happened?" Faith asked, rushing down the street and into the yard. She looked at a staked but non-dusty Spike, glanced at Dana, and then looked at Buffy with questions filling her eyes.

"Dana decided to hunt my husband," Buffy grimaced, yanking the stake from Spike's chest.

"Jesus," Faith murmured. "Can I do something?"

"Yeah," Buffy muttered, placing her hand over Spike's wound, pressing down firmly to stop the bleeding. "Call the police."

"The cops?" Faith asked. "Isn't this a…"

"What? A case for the Council? At this point, all they'd do is patch her up and send her back to us for another round." She shook her head. "And we can't keep her here. We already tried that." She looked at Dana's unconscious form. "Right now, this is all we can do."

* * *

_I know I've been away, but I'm back! Please let me know what you thought of the chapter!_


	70. End Game

Chapter 70: End Game

The entire household was awake now. Inside, Spike was being tended to by a worried Buffy. Outside, Faith was waiting on the cops to show up and take Dana away. She wasn't exactly thrilled about the idea of having a run in with the cops, but at least this time, she was on the right side of the law.

No sirens were blaring yet, so she figured the cops were taking their own sweet time.

Inside, Hank Summers paced back and forth as he watched his daughter patch up her husband.

"I'm confused. I thought vampires were supposed to die when they get staked."

"She missed his heart," Buffy said quietly, "thank God. Spike, this is going to take a few days to heal. I want you to stay here."

"I'm not letting you take on Travers on your own," Spike insisted. "And to be honest, I'd really like to have another go at Miss Psycho Slayer."

"Leave her to the cops," Buffy breathed. "Hate that it has to be this way, but the Council's not going to be able to control her. Not with Travers in charge."

The sound of sirens outside distracted them all from the conversation, and Spike stood and headed for the door, wrapped in bandages but wanting to see the bitch that almost killed him get hauled off.

But, as everyone piled out onto the porch, Faith turned to see them, and in that instant, Dana's eyes flew open, and she sprang to her feet, seemingly completely rejuvenated.

"Dana," Buffy murmured quietly. Faith spun around, starting toward the girl. But, Dana turned quickly and fled. Wasting no time, Faith took off in full pursuit of her.

"Dawn! Can you finish bandaging Spike? I have to…"

"You're not going after her. Not in your condition," Hank said firmly. "Faith can handle it."

"You don't understand, Dad," Buffy said through gritted teeth. "Travers pumped her up with drugs and brainwashed her. Now that she doesn't have her supply, she doesn't know who to trust. If she gets away, she's gonna end up killing somebody. I need to go with Faith."

"Buffy," Spike said slowly.

"I don't have time to argue about this! Spike, they want our baby dead, and I'm not about to sit around and wait. I'm gonna find Travers, and I'm gonna make sure he never comes near us again."

Knowing they couldn't argue with her, they stood down.

Faith had followed Dana's trail all the way down the docks where the large ships were floating like sleeping giants on the still waters. She peered around, looking for any sign of the crazed Slayer. The only thing she knew was that she wanted to try and get Dana out of this alive. If it came down to it, she knew she could kill her. Faith had it in her. Only this time, the idea frightened her. It had only been a few years since she worked for Mayor Wilkins, and it was amazing how quickly she'd changed.

Besides, if she made with the killing, another Slayer would be called, and who knew what that one would be like. It was best to deal with what they knew and figure out a way to keep Dana from hurting anybody.

Faith jumped when she heard running footsteps approaching, and she turned to see the pregnant Slayer rushing down the docks. Faith crossed her arms, and when Buffy stopped, the blonde Slayer cocked her head to the side.

"What?"

"What's wrong with you? Pregnancy make you forget the meaning of stealth?" Buffy frowned.

"Where is she?" she asked, ignoring Faith's question.

"I don't know. She's near. I lost track of her just as I was coming up the bridge." The only sound they could hear now was the water lapping up against the sides of the boats, and then somewhere in the distance, they both heard the creak of wood at the same time. Communicating only with their eyes, they each nodded, one going one way, one going the other, and they headed to trap the other Slayer on both sides.

However, when they met back up, both were startled to see Dana standing under the only lit streetlamp, and Quentin Travers was standing with her. Dana was shaking, and both Buffy and Faith could visibly see that. It was then, under the streetlight, Buffy saw the gleam of something silver, and she realized that Travers had a needle. Dana let out a piercing scream, and that was Buffy's cue. She took off toward the two, and Faith was right on her heels.

It was too late, and Dana let out a shriek as the needle pierced her skin. But just as quickly as it had happened, Buffy pushed Dana out of the way, and the girl fell back, clutching her bleeding arm.

"Grab her. I've got Travers." Buffy's gaze never left his. The older gentleman, in appearance, looked like a kindly old grandfather, but Buffy knew better. "So, what was the plan, huh? Use your psycho juice on the Slayers, get them to be your little toy killing machines? Did it piss you off that much when I turned my back on the counsel? You had to come up with a way to control me?"

"Sadly, Ms. Summers, we have no control over who is Chosen. Unfortunately, the Counsel never expected something with your…tenacity."

"Well, what can I say? I'm just full of surprises." She smirked and folded her arms across her chest. Dana struggled, but Faith held her arms firmly behind her back. The girl was teetering somewhere between sanity and insanity now, and when the struggling became too rough, Faith knocked her on the back of the head, and Dana went down.

"So, what is it, anyway? What is it you're pumping your Psycho Slayer up with?"

"It's an experimental drug that…"

"That's probably going to leave her completely insane?"

"She was insane before the treatment, Ms. Summers. I simply helped her. I made her into the perfect Slayer."

"Oh, so long as she kept taking your medicine, right?"

"Sometimes, drastic measures must be taken to ensure the betterment of the world."

"Right, like killing innocent babies just because a vampire isn't supposed to be able to produce children?"

"It's an abomination."

"My baby isn't an abomination," Buffy sneered.

"Its father is a demon!" Buffy punched the old man in the face. There was a time when the thought irked her, because he was old enough to be her father, but now she really didn't give a damn. She was willing to kill to protect her family if it was necessary.

Travers stumbled back and held his nose as blood spurted from it.

"I'm gonna give you two choices, Mr. Travers," Buffy murmured, stepping closer to him. "And I doubt you're going to like either one of them."


	71. Moving On

Chapter 71: Moving On

The look in Quentin Travers' eyes as two strong-armed men from the Watcher's Council pulled him into the back of a truck was something Buffy would never forget. She had given him two choices. Buffy could go to the police and tell them what Travers had done to Dana and show them the drugs as proof, or he could relinquish his duty as head of the Watcher's Council and let them dole out his punishment. Rather than worry about facing jail time in a Sunnydale prison, Travers had begrudgingly decided to give up his place at the top of the Council, since his mission to create the perfect Slayer had failed.

Now, the whole group was sitting around Buffy's living room. It was over. The prophecy of "look within" was gone. Dana was locked up in maximum security. Buffy had felt terrible about it. Of course she was relieved that her baby was safe from an unstable Slayer, but at the same time, she had gotten to know Dana a little bit when she'd first come to Sunnydale, and looking at her and seeing her manic eyes after she'd gone after Spike had frightened Buffy beyond belief. Still, she hoped that something could be done for the girl, and she knew that with the new head of the Watcher's Council about to take over, something would be done to try to find a cure for her.

Rupert Giles was going back to England for good. He was immediately offered the position in order to bring a breath of fresh air to the Council. Everyone working with Travers on his little project had been terminated and were being replaced, and now Giles was going to go and try and pick up the pieces of everything that Travers had destroyed.

"You're sure you're not going to turn all evil, right Giles?" Dawn asked, yawning as she stretched on the couch next to Spike and Buffy.

"I think it's safe to say," Giles pointed out with a chuckle, pushing his glasses up his nose a ways.

"Look at you, Giles. You're practically glowing. You sure you're not pregnant?" Buffy teased, snuggling up against Spike.

"Very funny."

"When are you leaving?" Anya asked. Everyone looked at her. "What?"

"As soon as I straighten out my affairs. Anya, I would be grateful if you would buy out my share of The Magic Box." Anya's eyes bulged.

"You mean it? It would be mine? Like, completely mine?"

"Completely yours." Anya's eyes sparkled, and the rest of the group started in with the chatter, asking Giles questions about his upcoming trip. Meanwhile, Spike and Buffy were caught up in each other. Spike's hand gently rubbed Buffy's belly, and she smiled contentedly, closing her eyes and letting relief wash over her, knowing that for now, Bitty Buffy was safe, and they could focus on moving past this whole ordeal with Quentin Travers.

"You ok, pet?" Spike asked as they walked slowly through the graveyard. "We could go back."

"I feel good," Buffy said quietly. "I wanna patrol." She looked away.

"But?"

"I just can't help thinking that I could have done something more for Dana. I mean…it wasn't her fault what happened to her. She didn't know that…"

"You can't blame yourself, luv. Besides, Giles is gonna go back to England and get the rest of the Council working on a cure for her. She might be saved yet." Buffy gave him a half smile.

"I feel relieved, too, though," she said quietly. "I know it sounds bad, but I do."

"Isn't bad, luv. Our baby's safe."

"And the prophecy's gone, God willing." She stopped and turned toward Spike. "We're always going to have to deal with this, aren't we? Our baby's always gonna be a target."

"Maybe," he nodded. "But she's got two parents who'd beat the living hell out of anyone who'd ever try to harm a hair on her head. Buffy, believe me, by the time she's old enough to date, the boys will be so terrified of us, she'll…"

"Be a social outcast and won't have any friends?" Buffy asked in horror. "I don't want that, Spike!" Spike pulled his arm around his wife.

"C'mon now, pet. You know I'd only bite them if they got too fresh with her." Buffy glared at him, and he knew the hormones were about to surge again. "I'm joking, luv." He pulled her in, and she relaxed against him as he stroked her hair. "Don't worry. Bitty Buffy is safe and houses, and we're gonna make sure she stays that way."

By the time May rolled around, Buffy Summers was just about the most beautiful pregnant lady to ever grace the Sunnydale cemetery. She was wearing a pair of black pants with a pink, flowing pink top. Her belly—and breasts—had grown quite considerably over the last couple of weeks, and Spike was enjoying every moment of it. He was like a starving man in bed. He couldn't get enough, teasing her, tasting her, kissing every inch of her body, this look of awe in his eyes, his blonde curls all tousled on his head after they made love. It was as if the idea of a part of him being inside of her made him want her even more.

Tonight, that desire was not a well-kept secret. They walked side by side, and the moment Buffy's fingers brushed his, she heard a sharp intake of breath, and then he turned his head slightly to look at her. Oh, she knew that look. She shivered, and she thought strongly about ducking into his old crypt and having her way with him, but before she had the chance to, two vamps came out of the shadow. Buffy groaned to herself. _Faith just HAD to take the night off, didn't she?_

As soon as Buffy and Spike took off in pursuit of the vampires, the prey shot off toward the gates. Spike took off in the lead, as Buffy paced herself, knowing that when she was pregnant, she had to limit herself a little bit. She caught up seconds later, and as Spike was pummeling one vampire, the other was starting to climb the wall. Buffy grabbed his angle and twisted. He screamed out and let go of the wall, falling hard to the ground with a thud.

He was up on his feet a second later and coming for Buffy. Buffy annihilated his opponent within moments, but Buffy wasn't quite ready yet. She landed a hard kick to the center of the vamps chest. Her hormones had pretty much started raging when she'd seen the look Spike was giving her. So, when the vamp fell back slightly and recovered, Buffy responded with a hard kick to the jaw before she grabbed his arm and flipped him over. Spike watched with a cocked eyebrow as the two tussled. He wanted to jump in and help, but he realized Buffy was perfectly safe, and the vamp was going to be dust any second.

Any…second.

"Um…Buffy?" Buffy was sitting on top of the demon now, punching him hard in the face over and over.

"What?" she asked, not breaking her concentration.

"I think it's time, luv."

"Huh? Oh. Right." She pulled her stake out and shoved it into the vampire's heart. She stood and turned to Spike, cheeks flushed red, chest heaving.

"You alright, pet?"

"Bloody hell," Spike groaned, arching his neck as Buffy rode him. Her long, golden tresses flowed down her shoulders and her back and around her swollen breasts. Spike brought her closer, taking a hard, rosy bud between his teeth. Buffy cried out, and she felt the waves of her second orgasm coming on. She pushed down on Spike's chest, pressing him into the mattress, and she closed her eyes as her inner walls spasmed around his cock. He let out a growl from the back of his throat, and Buffy let go, riding out the wave of pleasure just as Spike came. Moments later, she collapsed on top of him, and he brought her lips to his in a kiss.

When she moved to snuggle up beside him and lay her head on his chest, she let out a contented sigh, and Spike just chuckled, staring up at the ceiling.

"What?"

"Luv, for a woman who complains about back aches and leg cramps, I think pregnancy is the best thing that ever happened to you," Spike chuckled. Buffy slapped his arm playfully.

"What? Are you saying sex is better when I'm pregnant?" Spike smirked.

"Of course not, pet, but those hormones are a definite plus…at least when you're not using them to hurl objects at my head." Buffy giggled at that. "What?"

"You sound like me," she laughed. "I think I'm rubbing off on you."

"Not yet, but let's give it a go." Buffy laughed again and sat up in the bed, pulling her legs up a little, wrapping her arms around her knees. That wasn't so easy with a belly in the way. Spike reached out and caressed her cheek. She closed her eyes and smiled.

"You're so beautiful, Buffy." He sat up and leaned in to kiss her. "Love seeing you like this. You glow. He placed his hand on her bare belly before trailing upward to brush against the side of her breast. She moaned softly and let out a slow, even breath. "Can't wait to see you with her."

"I'm scared," Buffy murmured. She lay back down with Spike and looked up at him. "I don't know how to be a mom."

"Like I know how to be a dad?" Spike chuckled. "Over a hundred years of seeing this world, and I haven't got a sodding clue what to do. Never had to change a nappy. Never had to…"

"Yeah, but you're a guy. Aren't the mommy-types supposed to just know what to do when the baby comes?"

"Buffy, luv, you're gonna make a great mum." He paused, a gleam in his eye. He couldn't help himself. "And even if you screw up, at least the kid'll like me."

"Shut up!" she laughed.

"Make me," he murmured, before she attacked his lips with kisses. Yes…things were definitely going to be ok.


	72. Goodbye

Chapter 72: Goodbye

Buffy hugged her dad as tightly as she could with a swollen belly between them. He'd been staying with her and Spike and Dawn since everything with Travers and Dana. They'd had the chance to catch up and make things right between them, and now he was going back to L.A. to try and put together the shambles of his business and his life. It was going to take a while, but he was determined.

"Dad, you can stay a while longer if you want. Your granddaughter's gonna be here in a few months."

"I'll come back and spoil her, sweetie. I promise," Hank said with a sad smile. "But I can be sleeping on my daughter's couch for the rest of my life."

"Thank you for everything," Buffy said quietly, still holding onto her dad like she was five years old, and he was dropping her off for her first day of kindergarten. "Thank you for being here and for helping us." Hank kissed the side of Buffy's head and gave her an extra squeeze before they broke away. He'd already said goodbye to Dawn, and she'd taken off to stay the night with Xander and Anya, because she knew Spike and Buffy would be wanting a little alone time.

Buffy backed up from Hank's car, and Spike pulled an arm around his wife. She sighed softly and fought back the tears as Hank got in the car and drove away. They stood there in silence for a few moments, before Spike cleared his throat.

"You alright, pet?"

"Yeah," she said with a slow nod. "It'll be weird. Not having him here, you know? I kinda got used to having him around again." She shivered. It was a cool, May night, and she'd had a long day. She very much wanted to wrap herself up in Spike and not think about anything else, but Faith was busy tracking a Frovlof demon on the other side of town, so that left Buffy and Spike to do the patrolling.

"We should go get changed and head out to the cemetery."

"Buffy, you've barely had any rest today, luv. You stay home, and I'll go do the dusting, alright?"

"Spike, I don't need to…"

"If you look worn out, imagine how Bitty Buffy must feel." Buffy frowned at him.

"You think I look tired?"

"You look beautiful. But you and the little bit need some rest. Now I won't hear any arguing. You go on up to bed." Buffy couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and grin a little.

"Oh, so now you're turning into the pushy, dominating husband?"

"Only if you want me to," he teased, pulling her in and brushing his lips over hers for a moment before kissing her forehead. "Please, Buffy. Just go up to bed and rest. Do it for me, please?"

"You can stay home with me. What if I get a crazing?"

"I'll bring you home something from the Doublemeat Palace." Buffy made a face. "Oh, right. The doublemeat medley doesn't agree with you."

"Actually, I think it doesn't agree with the baby. It's pretty tasty to me." Buffy shrugged, and Spike chuckled walking up toward the front of the house with Buffy.

"I'll be back shortly, luv. You rest, and when I get home, I'll take care of you."

"You better," she laughed, kissing him one last time before she headed inside to rest until Spike got home.

Spike walked through the graveyard, bored out of his skull. There were no fresh graves tonight, so likely, he wouldn't be seeing much action. Still, he was glad that Buffy was home and resting. Even a Slayer had limitations during pregnancy.

He had been checking up with Giles, asking if they were any closer to finding something to help Dana with. He knew it still bugged Buffy that she hadn't been able to help her, and that the girl was locked away in some mental facility for the criminally insane. Giles had been of no help. They were no closer to curing her over there, and Giles was already hinting at perhaps having Willow and Tara temporarily move to England to help. They were doing what they could from Sunnydale, but it didn't seem as if there was much hope for Dana.

Buffy hadn't been totally gloomy since Dana's institutionalization and Travers' capture. She was truly happy that she was having a baby a she and Spike were doing fine together.

Spike felt complete. Well, he would feel completely complete when the baby arrived, he was sure, but he was happy the way his life was now. He was with Buffy, and Buffy loved him. God, the way her eyes filled with love when they lay in bed holding each other…he couldn't describe it. But she was everything to him. And now, he was going to be a father.

The idea frightened him and thrilled him in many ways. He was afraid of what would happen when it came time for his grandchildren to be born, and he looked as young as he looked the day his own child was born. He feared outliving his child. The theory that if one died, the other died was scary. It wasn't for certain. In fact, it was likely that it wouldn't happen, but he knew he had to be careful or else he could risk orphaning his own child. He didn't want to leave his daughter without one or both parents. He'd grown up being raised by a single mother, and he didn't want that for his child. He wanted to be there. He wanted to protect her and beat away the boys that came knocking when she was old enough to date.

"Spike!" Spike snapped out of it only to see Faith standing behind him. "Damn, yo, I called your name like five times."

"Aren't you supposed to be tracking a Frovlof demon?"

"Bagged and tagged," she said, putting her hands on her hips and cocking her head to the side. "Where's B?"

"At home. Resting." She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Whose idea was that?"

"Mine. What are you getting at?"

"You know she's probably making up a spot for you on the couch right now, since you went all caveman on her and made her stay home while you go slay the baddies, right?"

"It's not like that with me and Buffy. She knows I'm worried about the baby. I'm worried about her." Faith shrugged her shoulders.

"But she's also a hormonal pregnant woman. A hormonal pregnant _Slayer_." Spike knew Buffy probably wasn't upset with him, but honestly, he'd rather have been at home with her than out patrolling.

"Maybe you're right. I should go check on her." She stuffed his hands in the pockets of his duster. "You care to take over here?"

"You kidding? That Frovlof demon was just a warmup." Spike shook his head, uncertain he'd ever get Faith's zest for the kill. It wasn't like she was evil…well, anymore.

"Right then."

"Tell B I said hey." Spike nodded and took off. He was grateful that Faith had found her own place to stay for a while. He didn't exactly enjoy the arguments that usually ensued when she and Buffy were in the same room. They were getting along, sure, but two Slayers at once sometimes got to be a bit much, and Spike figured that if the two birds were men, they'd have been whipping them out to see who was bigger.

By the time he turned down the street, he could sense something was wrong. Something didn't smell right. He smelled fear.

Without a moment's hesitation, he fled up the street toward the house, and if he'd had a beating heart, it surely would have hammered its way out of his chest. The door was open, and draped across the threshold was Buffy's still body.


	73. A Scare

Chapter 73: A Scare

All it had taken was one phone call to Xander's place, and now everybody was at the hospital, waiting out in the hall. Xander, Anya, Dawn, Willow, Tara and Faith stood outside with Spike while the doctor examined Buffy. Spike was pacing back and forth, fear etched plainly on his face. His jaw was clenched, as were his fists, and his blue eyes were filled with so many emotions. He'd driven her to the hospital. She hadn't woken up by the time he'd arrived. He had carried her in and placed her on a gurney, and she had been taken into a room and hooked up to monitors, and Spike hadn't been allowed in yet.

"What's taking so long?" Xander asked, his voice trying to hide the panic in his heart.

"She's gonna be ok, right?" Dawn asked, chewing her lower lip.

"I'm sure she's ok, Dawnie. They just have to make sure that…"

"Spike said she was unconscious," Anya pointed out.

"I'm sure she's ok," Tara quipped. "She probably just needs to rest. She needs…" When they realized that Spike was still pacing, there was a silent agreement made amongst them to stop talking. That was, until Willow's cell phone rang. She glanced sheepishly at Spike who didn't even seem to notice, and she hurried off down the hall for a little for a little privacy.

Glancing down at the number, Willow sighed in relief.

"Giles?"

"Willow, I just got your message. How is she?"

"I don't know. The doctor's still with her. We…we don't know anything yet."

"Was she hurt?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. Spike hasn't really said much since…you don't think Dana…"

"Dana's still safe behind bars. We've made somewhat of a breakthrough in trying to find a cure for her this morning. That's why I wasn't able to answer the phone right away."

"You're getting closer? That's good news." She sighed softly. "Buffy's gonna be ok, isn't she, Giles? I mean, if something's wrong, there could be a…a spell or…"

"You mustn't think like that. Let me know when you find out anything. Let…let me know if I'm needed."

"You're always needed, Giles. We all miss you." Just then, she saw Dawn coming down the hall. "I have to go, Giles. I'll let you know." She hung up quickly. "Dawn?"

"It's Buffy."

Spike was the first allowed to go in. Buffy was waking up now, and she was tightly gripping her husband's hand. He was frightened, sitting there, watching her every move, her every breath. He placed his hand upon her belly and felt his daughter moving inside. That was a good sign.

"What happened?" she asked, tears flooding her eyes. "The baby…I can feel her moving…she's ok?"

"She's fine, luv. Strong like mum, right?" Buffy breathed out slowly, trying to calm herself down. "What do you remember, pet?"

"I just…" She groaned and brought her hand up to her temple. "Ow."

"Doc says you bumped your head, but it's nothing serious. Isn't that right, doc?" Dr. Jones smiled, and Buffy looked over at her.

"You're alright, Buffy. You may have a headache for a few hours, but there isn't any damage. I did an ultrasound, and the baby's fine. She's growing just as she should be."

"Good. I fell…I was afraid she'd…"

"You were lucky. You fell more to your side, and the impact wasn't as traumatic on the baby. She's alright, Buffy. There's no need to worry."

"I don't understand why I…"

"I've run many tests. Everything seems to be fine. Perhaps you were lying back and you got up too fast, or…"

"I heard something at the door," Buffy remembered. "I thought it was you, Spike, but when I answered it, everything went black."

"Someone hit you?" Spike was alarmed now.

"No. I don't think so. I think…you know what, I think Dr. Jones is right. I think I just got up too fast. There wasn't anybody there. I guess I just…I don't know. I'm tired." Spike leaned forward and kissed Buffy's hand.

"I'm going to go check on some other patients. Buffy, I don't see any reason why you need to stay over night. I'll let you rest a little longer and then I'll get your release papers going, alright?"

"Thanks," she murmured quietly. Dr. Jones walked out, and Spike turned his attention back to Buffy.

"Scared the hell out of me, pet."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, reaching up to stroke his cheek and then run her fingers through his hair. Spike took that hand in his and kissed her palm. "I guess I do need to take it easier, huh?"

"When I saw you lying there, I thought…God, I don't know what I thought. I just swept you up and brought you here. I couldn't think about what ifs or…"

"Spike. Look at me." She placed her fingertips under his chin, making sure he raised his gaze to look into her eyes. "We're ok. Everything's gonna be ok."

A few hours later, Spike was carrying Buffy up to the house. Her arms were wrapped strongly around his neck, and she was looking at him with amusement.

"You don't have to carry me, ya know."

"I know, but you've had a trough night. You should stay off your feet and rest."

"Well, I'm not complaining. I like it when you sweep me off my feet." She kissed his cheek, and he fumbled for the keys. "Where's Dawnie?"

"She's still with Xander and Anya. Thought you could use some quiet."

"Spike, I'm ok. Really. Dr. Jones just said to drink plenty of water. You might be helping me out of bed every hour, but I'll do it." Spike chuckled at that, opened the front door and he placed Buffy down on the couch. She sat there with her hands on her belly as Spike locked the front door and went to get her a glass of water out of the kitchen.

It was adorable and amusing at the same time. This was a man that had promised to kill her the first time they laid eyes on each other. Now here he was, fetching water for the mother of his unborn child. And he did it was such…glee. He came walking in, a bit of bounce in his step, perhaps because the doctor had given Buffy and the little bit a clean bill of health.

"Thank you," she said with a grin, taking a sip.

"What?"

"You're so cute."

"We've been over this, luv."

"Oh I know, you're a big, bad vampire, blabity blah blah," she said with a wave of her hand. "But you're already a good dad, and our baby's not even here yet." Spike sat down next to her on the couch, and she ran her fingers through his messy curls. She was glad he couldn't see his own reflection, because the gel hold on his hair had worn off after his frantic pacing, and likely multiple runnings of his fingers through his hair. Just as she took her hand away, she winced.

"Buffy?"

"It's ok. Baby's kicking harder," she said, a little out of breath.

"C'mon, pet. Let's get you up to bed."

"No…I'm not ready to go to bed yet. I just…let's watch a movie."

"You sure you're feeling up to it?"

"Sure. I just wanna sit with you for a while."

"Alright," Spike murmured. He walked over and picked through the DVDs until he found one that wouldn't make Buffy nauseated with blood and guts, which was a stumper, considering she was the Slayer, and one that wouldn't make him nauseated from all the lovey dovey crap that was nowhere near real life with its face punches and sometimes angry but amazing sex. Of course, there were the sappy moments in life he loved so much, but it wasn't always roses and kisses. Life was messy. So was life after death. But, he wouldn't trade anything for it. He had Buffy. That was what mattered.

"You didn't pick anything with lots of blood and guts, did you?"

"For being a Slayer, you're awfully squeamish."

"I am not. I just…the fake blood is so not even realistic," she pouted, crossing her across her chest. "I see enough blood and guts every day in real life, so I don't exactly like seeing the fake ones on the screen."

"Point taken, luv," he chuckled. "I promise, there's very little blood, and I'm almost certain there are no guts in this one."

"Thank you," she grinned. She leaned up against him, and he pulled his arm around her. "Thank you for being there today."

"I'll always be here, pet. Don't you fret." He kissed the top of her head and stroked her golden locks, and it wasn't too long after the movie began that she was sleeping soundly in his arms. He waited a while, just holding her, watching her sleep, before he picked her up and carefully carried her up the stairs and to their bed.


End file.
